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It’s been at least a month of Tweek being with Craig. Well, that’s what the rest of the town perceives. In reality it’s nothing but a facade to keep this little mountain from the verge of mass hysteria, even though they seem to always go crazy over some trivial thing every week. Tweek just doesn’t want him to be in the centre of it ever again. Accidentally freeing a convicted child murderer was one thing but then there was how a bunch of asian girls managed to convince the entire population of South Park that he was gay and was in a relationship with another boy in his class. Till this day, Tweek isn’t quite sure on how to feel about the entire debacle. Whether it was a blessing or a curse, it was what tied Tweek and Craig into this staged relationship.
It’s not at all bad being with Craig really. Besides the tendency to hold hands in the hallway or clutch onto each other, it isn’t that different from a normal friendship. Craig invites him for sleepovers, they watch Red Racer together, play with Stripe and sit at the same lunch table. Normal friendship activity. It’s miles better than seeing the guy as an enemy and he’s been able to gain more time away from his parents which is always a positive. It’s almost heavenly to have that peaceful consistency in his life.
Or at least it would be peaceful if it weren’t for the fact that every single time they hold hands or cuddle each other, there’s a soft tingle across his skin and flutter in his stomach. Sure, the sensation is a sweetly addicting chemical reaction but the sugar rush is so high it makes Tweek sick with guilt. Guilt with the fact that he may have fallen head over heels with Craig Tucker. Guess the asian girls really do have a knack for deciding who’s gay. Perhaps like cupid’s arrow, it was once again their fault for putting Tweek up in this predicament. But Tweek can’t just swerve the blame onto some third party. In the end he has a blazing crush over the guy he’s previously fought with and now within the mess of a fake relationship.
At least he gets paid for it.
It’s another day walking around the school lockers hand in hand. It’s unfair how Craig treats the act so nonchalant about it all when Tweek feels like screaming his guts out. That’s how it always is isn’t it? Even from the beginning Craig was silent, all he did was offer his hand up to him whilst Tweek was coincidentally trailing behind him on some random street. He didn’t even bother to look at Tweek as he did so, averting his head away. He was probably signalling the entangled hands was just for the sake of the town.
Yet, Tweek can’t help but relish in those tantalising temptations of affection. Despite the fact he’s being selfish in choosing to delude himself deeper into this staged relationship. Craig deserves better than to be stuck in this facade. He used to go on about how girls would never want him. All of these thoughts just dump a stone deep into his stomach but it’s just not enough to kill the swarm of butterflies. So that’s just how it is. They’re stuck together through sickness or in health. Within lies and deceit.
“Hey honey,” Tweek jolts up and out of his trance but still keeps a grasp on Craig’s hand. He really doesn’t need to use pet names towards him, even in private he habitually does it. Maybe he just wants to shake people's wallets a bit more with that act. Nevertheless, it only worsens the rapid ache in his heart whenever he hears those sweetly laced words ring out of his mouth. It’s a possibility that Craig Tucker just wants him dead from sugar high. Perhaps Tweek should rip his stomach out before he lets Craig do it first.
“You okay?”
Craig shifts the upper half of his body to meet Tweek in the eyes. There it is. He looks at him with a blank face but amongst that flatness there’s a glimmer of care. A glimmer so subtle that Tweek may be the only human being in the world to ever perceive it. It feels like a spear, digging right into his heart as Craig’s thumb glides across his clenched and trembling knuckles.
“Y-yeah. I might have had an extra shot of coffee today…” Tweek forms a blatant lie. He’s only had two so far and he is sure of it. Just another one of the many acts of deceit the two have made in the midst of this falsehood of a relationship.
“Okay then,” it is close to saddening how Craig’s easy to work with. Ever since the debacle with North Korea and the president, Craig has never failed to hear out his problems or comply when Tweek is adamant on confessing. Once again, a pang of guilt hits right through Tweek. He really doesn’t need to do all this for him, it makes the illusion all the more immersive and deceiving to the vulnerable eye.
“I’ll talk to you after class,” Craig lets go of Tweek’s hand. For a brief moment he wants to greedily snatch it back. Indulge himself in the fantasy a bit longer. Except in the end, he can’t tempt himself to be any more selfish than he already is. He should probably just take a seat already and go to class. The class has already had to suffer through their obnoxious acts of PDA. He’s almost about to step in until Craig stops to turn around and wave a farewell.
“I love you.” He says with the absence of any tone whatsoever.
In spite of that, Tweek’s brain bursts into short circuit as those words utter out of Craig’s mouth. His mind completely spins as heat rises up his cheeks. If Tweek didn’t lose all his five senses from that critical, he would have noticed at least one of the asian girls faint from being caught in the crossfire. His heart is palpitating and his hands trembling. Love? That is way too much man! Craig is taking it way too far. Does he hate being in this gay relationship so much he wants to delude Tweek more and reject him so coldly that Tweek suffers for the rest of his life?
He can’t just stare blankly in shock however. There’s a facade to uphold and at the least Tweek is capable of keeping it up too.
“L-love you too!” He calls out and Craig smiles back at the affectionate response. Tweek can’t tell if he’s acting or if he’s speaking from the heart. Perhaps it’s some odd form of method acting.
The scene receives a largely audible awww from the class audience, although a sigh of disdain from Mr Garrison as he yells for the couple to stop being in head and to go to their seats. Tweek immediately perks up to go to find his desk and notices his payments of compensation stacked onto his desk. Two hundred dollars in cash. Sadly, it fails to make him any happier and he slumps onto his desk trying to silence out the one word echoing in his mind.
Love.
It’s a funny word. A word that seemingly encompasses both excruciating pain and leaping joy. Some sort of weird desire to feel and give affection to another person that muddles up every bit of normal functioning and balance. It pulls apart at your guts but pushes you with awkward unprepared courage to get closer with whoever your object of affection is. Did it have to be romantic? Did it have to be some stupidly futile crush? Couldn’t it just stay pure platonic through all staged cuddling and linked hands? Just so he doesn’t have to feel his knees go weak when a simple two words are uttered. He brings his hands to his head and grasps the ends of hair. Except he stops when about to yank the threads out, flashing back to Craig’s glint of sorrow as his hands grasp Tweek’s in an attempt to prevent any sort of hair pulling. He drops his hands down to his side and thuds his head onto the desk. Goddammit. Being in love sucks ass.
Through the absolute suffering, he looks up from his desk and toward Craig’s desk. Does he really have to go out of his way and say such a significant sentence? And he looks completely normal in the aftermath of it. On his phone, not listening at all as per usual. This is the most foul thing that the entire universe has ever made up. As irrational as the thought is, perhaps it’s Craig’s fault for starting this sham, this entire distraction and absolute confusion. He gives Craig a glare of disdain behind his back, making a soft grumble whilst squeezing his face. Stupid Craig, he really doesn’t need to manipulate his already frantic emotions like that. Unfortunately, the gaze just has to grab the attention of his teacher.
“Tweek, stop trying to undress Craig with your eyes. Save that for tonight.” Mr Garrison scolds in his typical inappropriate fashion and Tweek immediately jumps to cover his face, attempting to cover the burning flush. Craig momentarily puts down his illegally in use phone and looks back at a flustered Tweek caught red handed. His eyebrows only slightly raised but that’s enough for Tweek to swiftly avert his gaze and look up at an angry Mr Garrison. Tweek gulps from underneath that reign.
“S-sorry!” He earnestly says his apologies but only receives a click of the tongue from his teacher. As he walks away Tweek is pretty sure he hears him mutter some homophobic slur.
Maybe he should put the feelings aside for now and panic about it later.
—
“I didn’t like the way Garrison was treating you back there.” Craig states whilst shooting away at the invading pixelated aliens on his controller. It’s another one of their usual sleepovers. Today it’s at Craig’s house. Although sometimes they host sleepovers at Tweek’s house, Craig is the one with most of the entertainment, and Stripe of course. The difference is evident by the fact that the two are surrounded by an artificial glow in the dark galaxy. His father continuously complains to keep the door open but the slightest peak of light ruins the illusion of a night sky horrendously so Craig retaliates and keeps it shut. After all, the luminescent stars make it seem as if the screen is absorbed into one three dimensional expansion.
“That’s just how he always is,” Tweek sighs, softly petting a sleeping Stripe on his lap. Craig’s on his last life in Space Invaders, one more hit and it’s game over. Currently, he is honed in on staying alive judging from his stuck out tongue and how he’s close to beating the high score. The one that Tweek hit on their second ever sleepover. To be honest however, Tweek’s surprised that Craig actually remembers that moment from class today. As usually he brushes off any sort of complaint by any adult. Except there’s something more important Tweek has to talk about.
“Craig… you really don’t need to shout out such actual declarations of…” Tweek’s too much of a coward to say it so he swaps it out. “Affection.”
The digital lasers keep resounding out and so do the tapping on the controller. When the tempo of the eight bit music hastens, so does the clicking of the controller as the aliens near closer. There’s only one remaining base to protect him from death and Tweek gulps under the lack of response.
“It’s just not really necessary. We get enough money from holding hands.” Tweek hates how he can’t help but only croak out his sentences. He also hates how he’s forcing himself to put a halt to those words of fondness that Craig so clearly said. It churns his stomach right and around. Those fluttering and visceral words. But the physical affection is just enough to indulge and relish in, Tweek says to himself. If he reaches too close to the sun, he’ll fall, drown and have no one else to depend on anymore. He can’t be greedy, he can’t be selfish, he has to do what’s right to keep the performance going. That way he can be satisfied with it.
The game is still ongoing. Tweek keeps his eyes as locked as Craig is on the game yet for different reasons.
“Sorry. Couldn’t help it.” Amongst the chaotic alien battle of outdated quality, Craig still somehow has his full ears towards the conversation.
“It’s fine…” Tweek sulks in the fact he is unable to even properly scold Craig for toying with his emotions. Everyone and their mom knows how fragile Tweeks emotions are after all. Whether or not Craig knows of his stupid feelings, he shouldn’t go too far into this falsehood of a relationship. Nor should Tweek either. As whenever he even feels the brush of his hand or the soft plush texture of his woollen chullo or even those sickening sweet words of affection that were said today
“It just makes me want you more.”
It takes a second for Tweek to realise the words that were spoken right out of his mouth. As soon as he does however, Tweek quickly brings his hands over his mouth to prevent himself from uttering any other confessions. Even Stripe scurries elsewhere far away from Tweek’s good graces in consequence from Tweek’s abrupt movement. Oh Jesus! This is the end of it all isn’t. For the rest of his life, Craig is going to perceive him as some weirdo who completely folds with any guy who even gives him the slightest amount of kindness.
Craig places his controller down on his lap, leaving the spaceship behind a half destroyed base and turns to look at a frozen Tweek. He shuts his eyes tight, refusing to let his peripheral vision even perceive what expression Craig has on. Tweek bets the guy has some contorted face of disgust and disbelief over his blatant confession. Did he seriously fall head over heels with who he was meant to only be in a fake relationship with? It’s too absurdly dumb and he is not at all ready to comprehend the reality of it.
“Want you? But you already have me?” Craig asks in a confused manner. The game is still going on but he isn’t racking up anymore points as the base is slowly being eaten up by aliens lasers. Yet, Tweek is still in the safe zone? Then again, Craig is always one to take things upfront. Perhaps he can still salvage this performance. As the show must go on.
“Ngh j-just forget what I said okay!” Tweek attempts to let the stage keep going. His hands have been removed from his mouth as they flail around in a fluster. He can only pray to not let Craig notice the visible flush around his face.
“No. I want to know.” Craig leans in, his volume is almost a whisper. He grasps at Tweek’s wrists, putting them to a halt. Tweek goes searing red from up to his ears by simply being able to view Craig's earnest expression up close. Now, the base has now been destroyed and the spacecraft currently completing exposed.
“Okay fine,” Tweek surrenders under the entanglement of Craig Tucker. The opposing alien shoots its last laser right into the spaceship and the game over soundtrack begins to play.
“What is it honey?” There he goes again. Needlessly using pet names despite the absence of an audience. Is he trying method or something? Well it’s working at least, since Tweek is tempted to rip his heart out to shut it from beating so loudly. Yet, there is no getting out of this now. Craig has him completely wrapped around his finger. The only choice is to shut the curtains and begin to take their bows.
“I like you,” he croaks out.
“Whenever you say those like “i love yous” or even when you hold my hands it makes my heart completely flip. It makes me believe we’re actually… y’know? A couple.” The cats outside of the bag now as Tweek confesses with an abundant rasp in his voice. It’s terrifying to confess all of this at once. His hands tremble under the hold of Craig’s.
Craig doesn’t at all let go or at the least loosen his grip. All he does is stare within even more bewilderment than the last. It seems he hasn't processed it all yet and Tweek, not wanting to absorb the uncomfortable lack of response, chooses to continue.
“Y-you can view me as a weirdo all you want now. It’s my fault for actually being gay and falling in love with you after all. I just- I just hope we can still be friends?” He’s trying to reach for the last strands of hope as of now. Through all the hideously exposed self loathing and apologies. Even if he doesn’t have Craig romantically, just as a friend is fine even. He just wants to stay by Craig’s side. That’s all he needs.
“Wait. We aren’t actually dating?”
Huh? What. Now Tweek’s the one who doesn’t at all understand the situation as of now. Wasn’t it Craig the one that made it obvious it wasn’t real? I mean, there was nothing said about it when they first held hands nor anything else hinting to the fact across this entire month. Although in general, Craig barely said anything if it weren’t about Stripe, Red Racer or space. So what in the world he was talking about when he asked that question?
“W-well that’s what I thought. It was just to make sure the town doesn’t go insane right?” Although the embarrassment has faded off, the panic is still present as Tweek attempts to comprehend what cryptic thoughts are circling through Craig’s mind.
“No. Haven’t we been genuine boyfriends for a month by now? I thought it was obvious.” Craig says it so blatantly, Tweek almost wants to scream. Obvious? Hell no it wasn’t! All that they’ve done is hold hands, have frequent sleepovers with just the two of them, pet Stripe, listen to Craig’s dumps on Red Racer or Space and sleep in the same-
Oh.
Now Tweek can’t tell who’s more of an idiot. Of course Craig believes it’s been real this entire time. Tweek is the only one who he invites to sleepovers, pet Stripe or not get blatantly petty about Tweek beating him in Space Invaders. There was no audience, no stage, no lies even needed in the first place. Craig made it obvious from the beginning.
Except he only made it obvious to himself. How did he not even say anything about it until now! So Tweek has wasted all this pent up energy and emotions over this guy for nothing?! This is way too much to think about now. He might be overriding as we speak. He knows Craig is one to barely say anything but couldn’t he have said something like “I’m soooo happy to be your real and not at all fake boyfriend” or something?!
He wants to bash Craig’s head against the wall. He wants to bash his own head against the wall. But when he looks at Craig again with his soft face and tantalising touch, some of his anger is quells.
“You did not at all make it obvious. Could you have at least verbally affirmed it first!” He yells but not loud enough to break Craig’s ears with the current proximity.
“You could have at least asked about it if you were so worried.” He pouts as he doesn’t even process what’s coming out of his mouth. It ticks off Tweek as he was entirely deluded into the fact that it was a fake relationship. But they aren’t going to go anywhere with this.
“Gah! Okay okay! Let’s just do this all over again okay?” Tweek huffs out whilst he shakes his head to put a stop to an argument. He takes a deep breath in to compose himself. Once ready, he meets Craig face to face.
“Craig, I like you and you like me, I think we should be boyfriends.” He says as it naturally runs through his mind. There’s an absolute zero chance of this failing. Hopefully. Well, its a blessing when Craig secures it all with a soft smile. A smile so rare that Tweek is the only human being allowed to see it.
“I’d be sooo happy to,”
And that’s all it takes. The simple magic of a few affirming words. Tweek grins back at Craig’s acceptance underneath the midpoint of an artificial and genuine night sky. They both remain amongst a contented soft silence and Stripe trots right back into Tweek’s lap, greeting back with a squeak. They remain in stillness until Craig shifts back at the screen, habitually keeping his physical connection.
“Oh. I didn’t manage to beat my boyfriend’s score.” Craig sulks keeping that same monotonous tone. Both are fully aware that he's just being a tease at this point. He basically knows the viscerally flustered reaction Tweek’s going to have by the simple referral of ‘his boyfriend.’
Unfortunately, it does work as the prior embarrassment flows right back and the butterflies take flight once more. But he won’t allow Craig to have the last line even as much as he’s greedily spoiled..
“It’s fine. You have a bunch more chances to beat it during another date,” Tweek lightly moves finger across the back of his hand, he can even perceive a peak of blush around the corner of his cheek. Strike one.
“And it’s getting late, we should probably go to bed now.” He suggests in preparation to set a trap.
“Ok.” Craig complies, blindly unprepared for what’s about to come.
“Goodnight, I love you.” Craig becomes completely undone and still under brief sugared words. Payback from this morning. Strike two.
Tweek comes in to give a brief but tender kiss on the cheek. Strike three. Craig manages to release himself out of the frozen state and pulls back out of sheer shock from such a critical hit he’s just taken. His chullo swings right around and for the first time in the entire expanse of time and space, someone bears witness to Craig’s entire face flushing a bright hue of pink under the three critical hits repeated by Tweek Tweak.