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The Sexual Exploits of Hermione Granger

Summary:

Hermione tries out a Weasley product, and it has interesting side effects - namely, making her indescribably horny.

Notes:

Written for a kink meme at LiveJournal back in the day. The prompt was basically what I wrote in the summary, and the result is: Hermione gets busy with all kinds of attractive wizards!

Work Text:

Mating Magic: New life to any relationship!

That's what the jar said. Hermione frowned at it. She wasn't exactly in a relationship, was she? She was kind of dating Ron, but she wasn't certain they were going to work out. And anyway, whatever-it-was between her and Ron could use some spicing up.

Hermione made up her mind. Gingerly dipping her fingertips into the small jar, she scooped up a small amount of the clear gel. She drew a deep breath and applied a little to her left eyelid. It instantly drew into her skin, and she covered both eyelids in it. It tingled for a moment, then was gone.

***

Smiling to herself, Hermione wandered around Grimmauld Place, looking for Ron. She made a deal with herself; if the Mating Magic gel didn't do the trick, then she'd give up on him. A girl really shouldn't waste her best years waiting for a boy, even if he had been the first person she ever slept with.

Hermione suddenly noticed someone standing in a doorway.

“'Afternoon, Hermione,” Sirius said. He looked excessively bored.

“Hello, Sirius,” Hermione smiled. She was about to move on and continue in her search of Ron, when something about Sirius gave her pause.

Dark, mysterious eyes. Thick, dark hair that fell oh, so deliciously into his eyes when he looked at her. Long-fingered hands shoved halfway down his pockets. Broad shoulders, manly chin, a lean build and an absolutely gorgeous ass (fortunately not concealed by a cloak).

Hubba hubba! Where have you been hiding all day?

Holy Merlin. Sirius was steaming hot, and she hadn't even noticed before? How could she not have noticed before? Hermione felt like fanning herself. The man was absolutely edible!

“You all right, Hermione?” Sirius asked, cocking his head to one side. “You're a little flushed.”

“You're positively dashing today,” Hermione burst out, overwhelmed by the response he was igniting in her. She'd never been this wet in her life! His whole body just suddenly seemed to radiate sex, and she wanted some of if!

Sirius' eyebrows climbed skywards. “Um... thank you?”

“My God, have you any idea how sexy you look in those jeans?” she exclaimed, unable to stop herself. Sirius was hot and she wanted him. Pronto.

Ron what? That red, freckled thing? Who?

“Hermione?” Sirius asked, though his voice was questioning, not hesitant.

“Take me,” Hermione moaned, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him to her. She had to stand on tiptoe to reach his lips, but they looked so masculine and inviting and... and...

When her tongue pushed into his mouth, Sirius gave a surprised “mmph”, but didn't push her away. She pressed her body full against his, desiring the contact of his hard, lean body against her softer one.

Oh holy cow, would you feel the six pack on this man! And the pecs! Give it all here, Sirius you sex god!

Vaguely aware that even her mind was rambling, Hermione began clawing on the shirt separating her hands from the skin of Sirius' muscle. “Right now,” she demanded. “Take me right now!”

“Hermione, don't you think -” he began, but she took his hands and promptly pressed them to her breasts.

“No, no, no, no. Don't think, Sirius, just bloody do it. Oh,” she moaned when his hands gained hold of her and pulled her closer. He dipped his head and they kissed hard, Hermione's whole body aching for contact.

“You know I'll stop whenever you say so?” Sirius panted, even as he tried wrestling her top over her head. “I really shouldn't be doing this, Hermione, and oh, Merlin, I definitely shouldn't be letting you do that...”

Hermione was on her knees, hands working furiously at his belt.

“Don't care,” Hermione grinned, finally freeing his rapidly hardening erection from his boxers. “No one needs to know.”

“Not here, though,” Sirius said, voice dry. Hermione was ripping at his trousers and licking her lips, and he decided to shut his – albeit somewhat crippled – conscience up. But he was not about to let her blow him in the hallway.

“Fine,” Hermione sighed, getting to her feet. Then she pulled him into the nearest room, which fortunately turned out to be an empty bedroom. Molly and Arthur's, if she recalled correctly.

Tearing her clothes off at high speed, Hermione turned to Sirius, raising her eyebrows. He stood there, gaping at her, his cock protruding distractingly from his jeans.

“Well? Are you going to fuck me while still dressed?” she demanded, blushing but past caring. Merlin, he was so big, and strong, and she needed him so badly!

He grinned playfully at her and quickly dispatched of his shirt and shoes. Then he shoved his jeans quickly down and advanced on her. “No worries, Hermione. On the bed?”

“Yes,” she moaned, letting herself fall back on said piece of furniture and looking hungrily at the – now naked – man who crawled onto the bed after her.

“You're not half bad looking yourself in that attire,” Sirius grinned, leaning over her and nipping at her throat. Hermione moaned with desperation.

“Please, Sirius, now,” she begged, curling her legs up around his waist. “I need you!”

Sirius groaned and reached down to position himself. “You're not a -”

“For heaven's sake, I'm not a virgin!” Hermione said heatedly. “Why does everyone think I haven't had sex just because I'm a nerd?”

Sirius laughed, then began easing into her. Hermione cried out in relief.

“A nerd, hey?” he chuckled, then kissed her briefly. “A hot nerd, then.”

“Sirius!” Hermione moaned, feeling him sink into her repeatedly, setting her skin afire.

“That's right, Hermione, moan my name,” he panted, thrusting faster. “Say it!”

“Sirius!”

***

A deliciously hasty shag and a much-too-loud-for-decency orgasm later, Hermione straightened her hair as much as possible and buttoned up her blouse again. Sirius was still panting on the bed.

“Got a little riled up today, did we?” he asked, grinning at her with that deliciously rugged look of a caveman after mating. Hermione could feel another wave of lust coming on and flinched.

Again? I just got off with his -

“What d'you expect, walking around the house in those jeans?” she said, smiling self-consciously. “See you, Sirius.”

Then she quickly left the room, embarrassingly aware of how desperate she must have seemed.

I just shagged Sirius, and it was fantastic. But... why? I mean, Ron and I have never addressed the issue of exclusivity, but... aren't I kind of trying to make it work with him?

But Sirius had looked so hot; she just had to have him!

Wait a minute... looked... oh!

The Mating Magic! Of course; that's what it did! Hermione swallowed nervously. If she was going to react like that to every attractive man she saw, she was in big trouble.

Unless, of course, she found Ron first. If the Mating Magic gel made her see every man's best features, then she only had to look at Ron, and he could keep her occupied. It was only supposed to last for twelve hours; she was sure she could at least keep herself occupied for that long, if Ron didn't quite fill the hours.

Breaking into a run, she headed for the room he and Harry shared.

***

“Honestly, Ron. Is that it?”

Ron blushed furiously, starting from his ears. “Well, excuse me, then, for being so inadequate.”

Hermione felt a sting at her own words. Taking his hand, she gave him a quick peck at the cheek. “I'm sorry, Ron. I didn't mean it like that.”

Ron looked at her, still obviously embarrassed. “You kind of took me by surprise...”

Hermione fought back a laugh. She'd found Ron, and immediately been overcome by desire at the thought of his Quidditch-broad shoulders, his lively cinnamon eyes, his lopsided grin as he looked at her and the fact that he was more than likely interested.

She'd jumped him, tearing off his clothes as he began removing hers.

She'd pushed him down on his back on the bed, sat down on him and generally taken control.

He'd come within five minutes. Hermione was still horny as all hell.

Redressing, she let out a sigh. Keep her occupied? No such luck. She was already heating up again, looking at his (at least in her spell-affected eyes) handsome features, but Ron was quite obviously done for the day.

“I... I think I'll just go back to my room,” she said, trying to sound casual. “See you at supper, Ron.”

That would leave her at least nine hours to try and work some of the gel off.

Closing the door behind her, Hermione leaned against it and took a deep breath. It was okay, she told herself; she just had to get back to her room where there were no distracting males and read for a few hours. Maybe have a shower.

“Hello, Hermione. What are you doing out here, then?”

Oh God. It was Lupin.

“Er, nothing,” Hermione said, blushing. She took a sideways step towards her room. “I was... just going to my room.”

Merlin, he was hot! Alert, blue eyes, a manly scar down the side of his throat, hair like the fur he likely sported once a month... And those wolf senses; he could probably smell her and what she'd been up to!

“From someone else's?” Lupin said quietly.

Hermione swallowed, so very much embarrassed at how her body was already aching for him, the feeling amplified after her failed encounter with Ron. “Why would you say that?”

“Because you smell of them,” he said, confirming her suspicion. “Of Ron... and of Sirius?”

Hermione bit her lip. “Please don't... tell anyone.”

“Why, if I may ask?” he questioned, looking her up and down.

“A... a Weasley product,” she said, avoiding his eyes. God, if he looked at her like that, she'd have to jump him too! “Please, professor, I -”

“I am not your professor any more, Hermione,” Lupin said, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder. Hermione moaned at the contact.

“Don't,” she stuttered, “or I... You're with Tonks, aren't you?”

He looked at her, confused. “You know I am.”

“Then don't touch me, or I'll jump you and she'll get mad,” Hermione blurted, then turned and ran for it. No, no, not in a million years would she try and tempt Lupin into infidelity; she liked Tonks and... and...

And he was so totally hot! God, did you see the thigh muscle? Woof!

She turned a corner and hit something tall, red-haired and solid, and bounced back.

Looking up from her current position on the floor, she stared with horror at Fred and George, makers of the Mating Magic and responsible for her current state.

And totally, adorably, disarmingly hot. Charming, playful, wicked...

“You!” she gasped, feeling their hands close around hers and pull her up. “You bastards!”

“Bastards? Us?” George said, frowning. “Whatever can she be referring to, Gred?”

“Dunno, Forge,” answered Fred. “Mind explaining that, 'Mione?”

Her Weasley nickname seemed to roll off his tongue, dip in chocolate and dress in sex underwear before reaching her ear. Hermione bit her lip to stop the whimper threatening to force its way out of her.

“I'm never trying one of your products again!” she whined, starting to back up. When the twins realized they had her scared, they grinned evilly at her and followed her, backing her into a corner.

“Which was it, Hermione?” Fred snickered.

“The Mating Magic,” Hermione whispered, overcome with the sexiness of a pair of hot men. There were even two of them!

Fred and George looked at her, eyebrows raising. “The Mating Magic?”

“Yes,” she whimpered, biting her lip and trying to look everywhere but at them. “And now I find everyone so bloody attractive!”

“Even us?” George said casually, but he was looking at her with interest.

“Yes!” she moaned, unable to stop herself as she reached out to lightly touch Fred's chest. “So, so sexy!”

George didn't waste any time but leaned in and kissed her hard. Hermione gave a surprised squeak, but fisted her hands in his tee shirt and kissed back just as hard. What a man!

George released her lips, and Fred leaned in to kiss her, too. They even kiss the same!

“Who d'you want, then?” George grinned, waggling his eyebrows at his brother. “Or, who do you want first?”

“Both,” Hermione moaned, grabbing their hands and dragging them towards the nearest room – the old Black study. “Both, right now, right here!”

Fred shrugged, then shed his shirt. George closed the door behind them.

“We haven't done this before, have we, Gred?”

“No, Forge, but there's a first for everything, isn't there?” answered Fred.

Hermione smiled viciously and tore her blouse from her body, quickly followed by her skirt. She'd forgotten her bra in Sirius' room, and she strongly suspected her panties were somewhere in Ron's room. Finally! Someone who would give her some action!

Fred was naked. George was naked. Hermione sank to her knees before George and licked once, slowly, over his cock. Finally!

George got to his knees too, pushing her head down to follow his groin. Hermione happily complied, until she felt Fred behind her. He spread her legs, and George's cock slipped from her mouth as she moaned loudly.

Fred pushed quickly inside her, and she shivered. So hot!

“God, yes!” she cried, but George was not happy with being ignored, and his hand gently guided her mouth back to its task. Only too happy to be properly fucked while having her mouth treated similarly, Hermione put her quick tongue to good work and purred around George.

Two redhead sex gods desiring her. Two men; young, handsome men, doing her like a porn actress on the floor of the Black family study. Two sets of hands; one on her hip and vulva and one set in her hair.

Hermione gave a cry muffled by a mouthful of Weasley erection and came hard, quivering around Fred.

“Blimey, Gred,” George panted, “eager bunny, inn't she?”

“Shite!” Fred cried in reply as Hermione clenched around him and bucked her hips against his. As she felt one twin climax in her, she felt the other shiver and twitch under her touch. Within moments, George spilled his come on her tongue, frenzied by observing his brother and Hermione come loudly.

Slowly grinding and sliding against each other until they were all sated and near collapsing from tiredness, the three sank down on the blanket, Hermione with her head in George's lap and Fred resting on most of Hermione's stomach.

“Good job, Hermione!” George panted, a laugh in his voice. “Ploughing through two Weasley men in less than twenty minutes? Must be a new record, surely!”

“Why, are you usually harder to satisfy?” Hermione said, grinning up at the freckled face above her.

“No, it's just amazing that you got us both naked at the same time,” Fred clarified, shifting and apparently settling in to get comfortable. “Don't think anyone's done that since Mum bathed us when we were around five.”

“Well, there's always a first,” Hermione laughed. Then her laughter faded as she met George's gaze. Oh, Merlin, his eyes were like liquid chocolate! Changing her field of vision to Fred, she noticed the lean, angled planes of his body. Much like Ron, he was built for Quidditch and she found she rather liked the feel of their bodies against her own.

“Another round?” she asked hopefully, feeling the wet heat of desire spread in her abdomen.

“Now?” Fred exclaimed, staring at her. “We just did one round!”

“I can't help it!” Hermione cried, getting quickly to her feet. “It's you and your bloody Mating Magic who are to blame!”

George grinned at Fred. “You think we should try giving that stuff to Angelina and Katie?”

Hermione groaned, desperately turned on by the sexy way the twins grinned at each other (and, of course, the fact that they were still naked).

“I have to go. Um, thanks, I guess.” Then she pulled on her skirt and blouse at top speed before leaving the study, the twins looking highly confused.

***

Hermione threw herself down on a sofa in the library. Since leaving the study, she'd encountered Harry and Ginny snogging in a corner, making her want to jump Harry and shove Ginny out of the way. Then she bumped into Mad-Eye Moody and repulsed herself by actually being intrigued by his manly gruffness.

Before she could reach the library – the one place she actually knew no-one else would bother showing up – she had also bumped into Arthur Weasley (whom she'd fled before even saying hello), Bill and Fleur (another hot Weasley man, she'd registered), and professor Dumbledore himself (like with Arthur, she'd made a run for it).

“God!” she whimpered, covering her face with her hands in shame. She's shagged Sirius, Ron and the twins in less than four hours, and she was still turned on by noticing how well Bill filled his body! She needed to do something, and fast.

“Miss Granger, as some of us are trying to read, I would appreciate it if you went elsewhere for your daily prayer. This is a library, not a chapel.”

Oh. Holy. Shit.

It was Snape. Severus Snape, the greasy git, was sitting in the high-backed chair facing the fireplace, and she hadn't even seen him when she entered! Hermione felt her face flush furiously.

“I am also curious as to why you locked the door, Miss Granger.”

Hermione firmly closed her eyes. It would be okay as long as she didn't look at him. If she could only avoid looking at him, she could avoid getting turned on by Snape.

“Look at me when I speak to you, Miss Granger.”

There was nothing for it. With a growing sense of dread in the pit of her stomach, Hermione slowly opened her eyes and found Snape looking disdainfully down at her.

He was tall. He was dark. His hooked nose was the most majestic and powerful-looking thing she had ever seen. His eyes seemed to blaze with hellfire, and his long, dexterous fingers were clasped gently around the cover of a leather-bound book.

Hell, he probably has a perfectly fine body under that robe!

Not dressed in his teaching robes, Snape wore a simple black robe with dark blue lining. It looked soft and sensuous to Hermione.

Oh, professor, I've been a bad girl, punish me!

“You seem out of sorts,” Snape stated, voice devoid of compassion. “Have you caught anything contagious, Miss Granger?”

“No,” she moaned, biting her lip. “Please, Professor...”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “I have not been your teacher for well over a month. Sir will do.”

“Please, sir,” Hermione purred, getting to her feet. She just had to have this man! She hadn't been this turned on since... since Sirius! “Please, sir, would you help me?”

Snape sneered at her. “I fail to see why I would want to do such a thing.”

Hermione sighed in mock defeat. “Fine, then I guess I'll have to find Sirius again. I'm sure he'd do a better job at it anyway.”

Snape seemed intrigued. “A better job at what, Miss Granger?”

“Shagging me senseless,” Hermione said innocently, blinking slowly. “So if you'll excuse me, sir...”

Snape moved a step to the right, blocking her path. “What game are you playing, Miss Granger?”

“Let's-get-Hermione-some-much-needed-action, that's what,” Hermione said, then smiled at her former professor before advancing on him slowly. “Would you like to join in? I assure you it's fun.”

Snape stared at her, speechless. When she decided he wasn't going to hex her, Hermione quickly dropped to her knees and reached for the front of Snape's robes. If he needed a little persuasion before getting started...

“What the devil are you doing, Miss Granger?” Snape said, but didn't move to stop her. His voice was full of amusement.

“Well, sir, first I am going to give you head, as it were, and then I am going to beg for you to shag me on the sofa. Or against the shelves, or whatever you prefer. I'm not picky,” Hermione concluded, finally pushing Snape's robes open to discover what she wanted. He was growing harder by the minute.

“And why would you do such a thing with me of all people?” Snape mused, but that didn't stop him from tangling his hand encouragingly in her hair when she breathed hot air over his cock.

“Because you're tall, dark, have that deliciously hooked nose; and I'll bet a man with a Mastership in Potions, knows just how to handle such a delicate subject,” Hermione giggled, then took the head of his erection into her mouth.

He didn't taste half bad; certainly not worse than George. She moaned around him and eagerly bobbed her head along his shaft, wanting him desperately.

“Miss Granger!” Snape exclaimed, fisting both hands in her hair. “Merlin, girl, have you – ooh, Merlin!”

She released his straining erection from her mouth, then got to her feet. Standing on tiptoe to whisper in her ear, she leaned against him, feeling him hard against her stomach.

“Please fuck me, sir.”

Snape replied by roughly picking her up before depositing her on the sofa. “I will, Miss Granger. Though I fear you will feel rather self-loathing when you are off whatever high you seem to be on...”

His voice sounded more mirthful than concerned.

Wait, strike that, he doesn't care at all, he just wants to get laid. Good. That makes two of us.

“Oh, sir,” Hermione moaned, feeling Snape latch onto her throat with vampiric strength.

“Move, Miss Granger,” Snape panted. Guided by his strong hands, Hermione found herself straddling his lap, facing him, on the couch. Her skirt was riding up her thighs and she could feel the heat from his cock against her leg.

“Oh, sir!” she cried, sinking slowly down on him. It felt so perfectly dirty and naughty, riding him like this while still dressed. She shuddered at the feeling of a real man inside her once more and placed her hands pleadingly on his shoulders.

“How would you like it, Miss Granger?” Snape said, eyes glittering as he took in her open mouth, her lidded eyes, her heaving breath.

“Hard!” she keened, clinging to his chest. So strong, so hard and lean! Thinner than Sirius, definitely, but longer, too. “Oh, sir, please, fuck me hard!”

“As you wish,” Snape hissed, then began thrusting hard. Hermione screamed with pleasure and felt her nails dig into his open robes. So hot, so hard, sooo good...

“What would they say if they could see you like this, Miss Granger?” Snape smirked, pulling on her hips to make her meet his thrusts inch by inch. “The Head Girl, master brain of Gryffindor, brightest witch of our age – begging for her nasty professor to fuck her?”

His voice rolled like red wine and honey through her mind. Hermione moaned loudly at his words and kissed his throat wetly, riding his bucking hips with desperation.

“Oh, yes, sir, please keep talking,” she purred. “I love the sound of your voice. Goes so well with the feel of your cock in me.”

She never knew she had a penchant for talking dirty, but Snape most certainly liked it; he groaned into her hair and slammed her hips down on his, impaling her deeply as she writhed in his lap.

“Oh, yes, God, so hard!” Hermione whispered, then sucked Snape's earlobe into her mouth. “You're so hard, professor, so big and - oh!”

Snape's wonderful fingers had found her nerve centre, and were tweaking and stroking it hard. She groaned in pleasure, accompanied by the wild pants and grunts from Snape.

One more flick, and Hermione came. She came, screaming Snape's name and grasping his shoulders so tightly he grunted in discomfort, clenching around him and feeling the slow burn spread from his cock to the rest of her.

“Sir!” she cried, coming slowly down from her high. “Sir, oh God, what are you doing to me?”

“Giving you... a proper shag, as... as you requested, Miss Granger,” Snape said smugly. Then he dipped his head to kiss her neck. Hermione moaned delicately and tilted her head to one side, giving him full access. After her orgasm, he felt so much larger in her, stretching her so wonderfully.

“Granger!” he suddenly groaned, stilling in her, tensing. Hermione could feel him erupt inside her, his hands still claws on her hips, and then his come was slowly filling her, spreading inside her. He pulled out by lifting her hips quickly, and Hermione could feel a warm trickle down her thigh.

“There is nothing more desirable to a man in this world,” he hissed in her ear, “than seeing a woman marked by his come.”

Hermione shivered at his words. She was sated and tired, but yet her stomach was already curling in arousal.

“I wish for you not to have a shower until tonight,” he said, stroking her skin idly. “I wish for you to walk about the house for the rest of the day with my scent on you; my come in you.”

Kinky! ... I think I like it.

“Are you claiming ownership, sir?” Hermione grinned, grinding against him. Damn it all to hell and back again, but she wanted to go again!

“For today,” he said, then arched an eyebrow at her when he noticed how her hips were rolling against his. “More, Miss Granger?”

“I can't help it,” she panted, grinding her clit against his pelvic bone. “I tried a Weasley product and now I notice how attractive everyone is, and it gets me so hot...”

She kissed his earlobe again, hoping to induce him to help her a bit more.

She was not disappointed. Snape, though spent, raised his hips to meet hers. “And you found it a good idea to experiment with a Weasley product in a house full of unsuspecting victims?”

“Yes!” she moaned, more in response to the fact that he had just added a finger to the movement of his hips. “Yes, oh God, Snape!”

“I suppose a damsel in distress requires assistance,” Snape hissed, working her until she was writhing in desperation in his arms. “A true gentleman would never... leave you to your fate.”

“Snape!” she screamed, coming again, darkness edging her vision and her body convulsing. “Oh, God, Severus!”

As she tumbled down from her high, panting, she looked up to find Snape looking at her, a nasty smirk on his face. “What?” she asked, confused.

“The way you scream my name when you climax is... most agreeable, Miss Granger. I do believe I will be expecting a visit from you to my rooms. Later this evening.”

Hermione grinned at him. “Whenever you wish, sir.”

“Good. Now get out of my lap and go do something productive,” he said dismissively.

Hermione sighed happily and rose, his come still sticky on her skin. “No showers?”

“No showers,” he smirked. “And be sure to give Lupin my greetings.”

Hermione blushed furiously. She prayed Lupin would be able to keep his mouth shut, because as it were, she really didn't want Molly Weasley to find out that Hermione Granger had been shagging not only three of her sons, but Sirius Black and Severus Snape, too; all in one day.

Well. It was about bloody time the Ice Queen got her some action.

Now if only she could find a way to get that gel on Ron's and Harry's eyelids as well...

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