Chapter Text
🔥 akito and tsukasa 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 rizz off 🗣️
(written by Megurine Lizzii and Hatsune Mia)
One fateful morning, Tsukasa Tenma challenged his “arch-nemesis” Akito to a rizz off. He didn’t know Akito was such an experienced rizzler, and he didn’t know his life would be at risk. The sky was a bright blue, birds chirping innocently as the cafeteria bustled with the chatter and laughter of the students at Kamiyama High School.
Tsukasa ran dramatically up to the table where Akito was eating his lunch and slid on his knees, prop sword in hand.
“Shinonome Akito, I challenge thou!” he demanded, his voice louder than a chainsaw at full power. Rui trailed closely behind him, his hands in the pockets of his own jacket.
“Ok.” Akito stood up from where he sat and stretched out his arms dramatically as his friend An shot him an appalled and disgusted glance. His GAY LOVER, Toya, was much less appalled and disgusted. Tsukasa was not very impressed by this, huffing and crossing his malewife twink boytoy arms.
“Rui. Bring out the epic drone. Like a drone but epic ,” Tsukasa said.
The purple-haired skyscraper got his hands out of his pockets, revealing a drone that definitely could not have fit in there.
“Epic drone is out!” Rui gave his “friend” a thumbs up. The epic drone was deployed and sent 30 feet up into the air.
Akito looks up at the drone, a little confused. “We’re doing this here ? We’re going to need more space.”
“Akito what the shit does that mean,” Mizuki Akiyama asks as they magically osmosis into the conversation, followed by a pink sparkle cloud and magic sound effect.
Akito smirks and says, “This.” Before pulling the greatest rizz face ever, shouting “This one’s for you, babygirl” pointing at Toya from across the cafetiera. Toya collapses into a jumble of limbs.
“HOLY SHIT IS HE DEAD?? AKITO WHAT DID YOU DO?” Tsukasa yelled.The ground started to shake beneath them.
“His rizz…it’s too powerful!” Mizuki stood, flabbergasted. The winds were picking up now, as Akito’s rizz power grew with his epic rizz.
Meanwhile, in the Shinonome household, Ena Shinonome was asleep. But not for long. *Glass crash sound effect* Her eyes flew open as she frantically awoke.
“No… it can’t be… not again!” She quickly scurried out of the door and through the streets, trying to avoid the rocks being pulled out of the ground and the sonic waves radiating from Kamiyama High’s outdoor lunch area. She was able to come to the school, through a bit of fighting and firepower. Scramble Crossing is on fire. People are screaming. Akito’s rizz power is too strong.
“The rizz battle must be stopped!” Nene Kusanagi yelled as she called 911 on her MikuPhone™. Like a normal phone but Miku. Her phone was knocked out of her hands by the rizz winds.
“NOOOOO! THE rizz powers!” Nene yelled and collapsed from the rizzy rizz in the air. Ena struggled through the rizz wind to make it over to where Tsukasa, Rui, and Mizuki were standing, parallel to Akito. She looked over to the three of them. Tsukasa was clinging on to a nearby tree, screaming, trying not to blow away. Mizuki was searching for a glitter bomb in their pockets, maybe a pancake-shaped one to distract him. Rui was seemingly unaffected by the rizz winds as he flew the drone around the scene, the same dumb-ass smirk on his face as always.
“Rui!! Are you not affected?” Ena yelled to him through the rizz winds . Rui shrugged and continued to fly the drone around.
“Rui, you have to stop him!” Tsukasa screamed from his tree-borne position. “Rui, you have so much rizz in you! I know from personal experience!” Everything stops for a split second so everyone can look at Tsukasa with their eyebrow raised, but then it goes back to being rizzy. Rui sighs and brings the drone back to him, putting it back in his pockets.
“I’m gonna go shake Toya awake,” Rui said and walked over to where Toya was unconscious from the epic rizz of Akito.
“Heyyy Toya, wake up. I have coffee or whatever you like.” Toya shot awake at the mention of coffee, fresh from the MikuMikuBean™. Like a normal coffee bean, but Miku.
“You have to de-rizzify him, Toya. You're the chosen one,” Rui said as he faded to dust, getting legally nondescript-purple villan snapped (from the rizz).
“No, Rui! But what should I do?” Toya asked, scared for his life.
All of a sudden, a soft voice rang out from the halls of Kamiyama. “Toya-kun, no! It’s too dangerous! His rizz is unbeatable ! It could surpass Rad Weekend! ” Kohane Azusawa’s face appeared out of the rizz wind ’s great mists.
“But I need to… I have to save everyone!” Toya yelled. “Plus, I think it would be good to have an excuse to kiss my boyfriend in public. Freaky rizz style ™~ ”
“EW WHAT THE HELL TOYA??” Mizuki shouted from across the space.
“HELP ME!” Tsukasa roars, starting to cry. The gang can see his grip on the tree faltering.
“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna save him. That’s a job from someone else,” Mizuki mumbled.
Akito started to laugh like Legally Non-Descript Red Anime School Hero, his eyes glowing a blinding red light as he begins to rise from the ground, arms outstretched as the rizz wind swirled around him. Toya needed to do something quick.
Toya struggled up onto an outdoor table, the mighty rizz winds making his feet slip.
“Akito, please! This isn’t you! You’re better than this!!” He yelled through the harsh, rizzy wooshing of the rizz winds . Akito looks back to him as his eyes clear back to their regular olive green. His expression falters slightly, the winds slowing as he lands back onto the ground. For a moment everything is silent, Tsukasa crashing into the wall of the school so hard that it leaves a dent.
“Akito, you might have killed him,” Toya says, reaching for Akito’s ginger face.
“None of that matters now, babygirl,” he replies, grabbing him by the jacket and kissing him in the smuttiest way possible .
Semi trucks and other various heavy items begin to fall from the sky, killing thousands, as the rest of the crew watches the scene play out with horrified expressions. Except for Ena, of course, who takes about a million pictures to tease Akito with later.
Tsukasa might still be dead. Sparkly rainbow unicorn pegasus blood has started to pool beneath him. Someone should really check on him. Please.
THE END.