Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Heyyyyy, everybody. 

It's yer homie who won't stop spamming your calls & DM’s, HRThunder.

To any and all who are surprised to be seeing something like this from me, congratulations.

What am I congratulating you on? 

I have absolutely no idea!

But I do know that I'm coming at you with a new ongoing one-shot collection story. 

For those of you who read my skit story ‘Holy Hijinks', this is a successor to that. Except unlike how that story had skits scripts, this one will have actual written stories. 

Recently, I've been making several one-shot adaptations off of the skits I never added to Holy Hijinks. 

And after chatting it up with the homies in the Adam Agenda, I figured that I might as well just consolidate it down into a single story, of Adam pairings. 

So here we are! 

Me making Adam x Fem Pairings in this fic. 

By the time this prologue is live, I'll already have 11 pairings planned, which will equal out to 12 chapter prepared to create. 

I'm open to suggestions from commenters, or those who are apart of Big_Zer0’s Discord server, which I'll link below.

[DISCLAIMER]

I'm a member of the Adam Agenda.

So my foremost concern is pushing my Agenda of having Adam on top. 

I'm not saying every chapter is going to be a wankfest where Adam never loses or suffers. I'm still a writer after all. 

Just don't think I'm going to be receptive to a ship like “Lilith keeping Adam as her pet and soul chaining him in a BDSM Feminist Sex room”. 

With that in mind, prepare for any and all types of slander to come about. Especially of the Lucifer/Lilith nature. 

If it is for the sake of preserving my agenda, I will seize any manner of slanderous attacks. Endure any hypocrisy. 

So with that out of the way, buckle the fuck up for these nonsensical ships that I'll get going on. 

Once again, feel free to come join Big_Zer0’s server to bother him about his works, and participate in unhinged adult conversation without getting canceled on Twitter, and have your Twitch career shut down.

***

Discord Link: https://discord.gg/XKRk7nUz

Chapter Text

Sniff

Adam was immediately awoken. 

He blinked his eyes wearily, and closed them again in frustration. From his place lying in his bed, he groaned at the light from the windows that was pouring into his bedroom and promptly awakening him.

“Fucking shit” he groaned as he felt around for his blanket. Or his robe. Or any type of cloth he could use to cover his face from the onset of light. Unfortunately, all he could feel was a cold bottle of some sort. Opening his eyes slightly, he grabbed the object and saw a brown squeeze bottle of-

“Chocolate syrup? The fuck is this doing in my bed???” Adam asked out loud, as he sat up in confusion. His golden eyes zeroed in on the offending bottle of ‘Cherubian Chocolate Syrup Topper’. He reached a hand up to his head and scratched his unruly spiked hair in even more confusion. “Who the fuck is throwing syrup in my-”

Adam blinked for a moment before he rolled his eyes tiredly. He brought his other hand to his face with a sigh, as the memory returned to his mind. “Right. Last night. Dad dammit, Ems. No more Ice cream in bed. It was sexy the first time. But now I keep ending up with sprinkles in my taint and chopped nuts on my…well, nuts”. 

After some more grumbling, he tossed the bottle away and pulled his hand away from his face….only to see a sticky trail of chocolate syrup stretching from his face to his hand. Adam’s baggy golden eyes stared at his hand as best as he could, and let out another deep sigh. “Okay, no more food in bed. Not even grapefru-”

Sniff sniff

Adam's focus immediately narrowed, as all of his tiredness burned away in an instant. His mind sharpened as he flicked away the remaining syrup on his hand. 

For it was the one sound that Adam heard, that his body had been trained, honed and naturally shaped into constantly noticing. Even through the thick downpour of rain, the onslaught of heavy winds, or the deafening roar of a primal predator. 

In all his hundreds of years upon earth, he had forced his mind to become sensitive to this sound. 

And as a result, his time in Heaven only boosted his awareness to be able to pick up this noise. From when he constantly had to comfort the lost and unaware souls of the underage winners and distracting them with affection and dazzling shows from why they were present in Heaven and their parents weren't. 

It was the sound that he would recognize anywhere. 

It was the sound he could identify even at his weakest. 

And it was the sound that made him most uncomfortable, in all of Heaven and earth. 

Sniff sniff

The sound of a child or a woman crying. 

And there was only one of the possible two, that would be in his house, before he was up for the day. 

Adam immediately pushed himself out of bed, kicking aside the various bowls, half empty jars of sprinkles, and spoons that dotted the floor of his master bedroom. 

“Ems??” He asked out loud, as he pushed his door open, and began descending down the stairs. Wearing only his golden boxers with images of wings dotting them, he came to the halfway point of the staircase, before easily vaulting over the railing, and landing easily upon the floor. His golden wings fluttered out instinctively, before he pushed off the floor and glided forward with a frown on his olive toned face. 

“Ems? Are you good?” He asked with a raised voice, as he followed where he heard the sounds of sniffing and teardrops. Not only did he have that to guide him, but the scent of blueberries and pure silver shavings led him through his downstairs living room, and to the door of his office. 

Sniff-Hic...sniff

Adam immediately flicked his finger, causing the door to glow and open silently, as he entered. Standing at his full height of 11 feet, he was half naked, barefoot, and partially covered in chocolate syrup as his eyes scanned his office. The bags under his eyes were prominent, and his chiseled hairy chin grit in confusion, as his masculine yet broad chest rose slightly as he followed the angelic scent that he recognized as Emily's. 

A frown was plastered on his face, until he looked over at his desk, and saw his computer. 

…..Well, what used to be his computer. 

Sitting on his desk, was currently a monitor that was the size of a small flat screen TV. It was burnt to a crisp, and blackened shattered glass was strewn across his desk. The frame was hollow, and the scent of burn metal and magic was rife in the air. 

Hell Magic.

“Fuck” Adam exhaled as he flared his nostrils instinctively. Adam immediately flicked his wings out, causing golden winds to fill the room suddenly. His partially burnt desk was immediately covered in golden magic, before the computer and everything on the desk turned to dust. The desk sunk into the floor, before a different styled desk rose back out of the floor. It was utterly immaculate, as if it was brand new. 

Sniff….Hic

Adam looked to the door next to him, before he circled around to see what was behind it. When he closed the door to reveal what was behind it, he came face to face with who he was searching for. 

Sitting behind the door was a silver skinned Angel. She was clothed in long sleeved matching white pajamas, that had blue dove print all over, and sterling silver buttons. She had periwinkle hair that was messy, as it hung around her face and shoulders before ending at her back due to her sitting position. She had irritated white eyes, that were usually blue in normal circumstances. 

Her black lips were quivering, and her white freckled cheeks were stained in the tears that were trailing down her cheeks. 

Emily. 

His Emily. 

His Emily that was his everything in this world. 

Who was crying. 

Adam’s chest pounded, and his world blurred as he immediately was down on his knees and looming over her. “Ems” he spoke in a low tone that was almost a whisper. “What the fuck happened. Why are you crying”. Even though the words were questions, the sheer need he had to have them answered made them seem like commands. 

Emily sniffed more, as her arms were hugging her pajama clad legs. Her hair was a mess, likely from her mussing it up as she usually did when she was stressed. She looked at Adam, almost with hesitation, before she wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. “A-adam” she whimpered quietly. 

Seeing her in this state pained Adam, more than any physical blow he endured on earth. It was taking all his firsthand knowledge of behavior and trauma to keep from pressing Emily too hard. Instead, he did his best to steady himself, as he brought his hand to her cheek. He leaned closer, as his face softened and he spoke gentler with a genuine desire to help. “Ems. Please. Tell me what happened”. 

Blinking through more tears, she nuzzled her cheek against his hand as her whitened eyes looked up at him in apology. “P-please don't tell Sera.”

‘Tell Sera what? The fuck happened? She's not bleeding, nobody else is on the estate. What in Dads name is making her like this???’. Such thoughts filled Adam’s mind, as he opened his mouth to prod again. 

But before he could, Emily simply raised a quivering hand to point above her head. “A-adam…..I l-lost it. I lost m-my halo”. 

Adam's eyes widened in genuine surprise, as he looked above her head and noticed the lack of the white glowing ring that always sat above her head. 

…

…

“Shit” Adam muttered, as he felt a migraine coming in full force. 

His words had the unintentional affect of making Emily bury her face in her hands, as the tears came back in full force. “I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I don't- it all happened so fast that I-I-” she whimpered as her wings were ruffled behind her. 

Realizing what the scenario was, Adam did what he always did when he was faced with a situation of Emily feeling uncomfortable or just stressed. 

He opened his heart, just a tiny bit. 

He immediately knelt closer to Emily, and wrapped his arms around her. He rested his cheek against her forehead, as his wings also followed in ensnaring her softly.  

“C'mon Ems.” He said softly to her, as he sat down properly. His height made it so that she was gently against him, and his bare chest pressed against her clothed form. 

Emily had stopped crying, but she was still staring down at herself with self loathing and misery. 

Repressing the urge to sigh, Adam instead gently reached a hand and brought her chin up to look him in the eye. “The last time you and I went to go by the park, I accidentally left a half finished bagel in my pocket. And I ended up attracting a golden goose which tried to pick at me. And then I tried to shoo it off, which caused the entire goose army to swarm me, and they actually got some good licks in before I scared them off”. 

His sudden spiel left her eyes wide, and she opened her mouth to speak, only for Adam to cut her off. 

“So when I came back over to you, and you asked me why I had so many scratch marks and feathers, I made up a lie, and told you my wings were itching and I accidentally scratched myself too hard”. 

Silence filled the room, as she stared at him and he stared at her. His face was as still as stone, as his soul patch of hair blew slightly in the breeze of his air conditioned office. 

But the silence broke, when Emily’s face upturned in a smile. She attempted to keep it down, but it bloomed fully on her face as she let out a giggle. “H-heehee! Hahahaha!!!!”. She began hugging her stomach as she laughed fully and caused her many wings to splay out against the wall. 

Her laughter filled the room, and Adam let out a grin as he ruffled her hair with a smile. “You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I got fucked up by those damn gold birds, and I went back at night while you were sleeping, to freak them out with a leaf blower”. 

The continued absurdity of his story made Emily laugh even harder, as she was now tearing up for an entirely different reason. She was rocking back and forth, as her eyes returned to their full blueness instead of the white irritated state that was common for Angels, instead of the red bloodshot that humans and demons suffered from.

With Emily’s sorrow averted, Adam rested his forehead against hers. 

She looked up at him, as her cheeks blushed a soft blue hue, and her smile was bright on her face. “Thank you, Adam. I…feel better” she whispered softly as her eyes were now filled with affectionate adoration. 

“Good. You feeling good is my third priority, right after being sexy and being hung like a sperm whale” he grinned as he waggled his eyebrows, only for Emily to blush with a shy smile as she buried her face into his chest. 

“Now, are you gonna tell me what happened or do I have to make you laugh your ass off?” He wondered with a raised eyebrow. 

“A fucking internet scam??” Adam wondered with wide eyes, as he finished swallowing a mouthful of cereal. He was sitting across from Emily at the table, and still just as half naked as before, as he poured more milk & ‘Peter Pink Puffs’ cereal into his large dish that looked more akin to a dog's bowl. 

She nodded solemnly, as she absentmindedly picked at her eggs and bacon with her fork. “Yes. I'm sorry” she muttered shamefully. 

“I….I don't….I'm not even mad at you Ems.” He said in exasperation. “You know I love you. And even if I could be mad, I'm not. Because I'm still confused as fuck as to how you lost your Halo to a internet scam”. His voice was thick with utter confusion as he shoveled another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “I'm not even sure that makes sense. What did you do? Mail it to them?”. 

With a shake of her head, Emily looked up at Adam as she looked like a wounded dove. “N-no. Do you remember how you taught me how to use your computer?” she asked hesitantly. 

“...Yeah? You spent like 4 days straight playing race car games” Adam grunted with a scratch of his chin. “Sera got on my ass, like I was trying to get you addicted to drugs or some shit”. 

“Well…..I woke up early because I wanted to play some more, and I saw an Ad” She confessed. “It was so shiny, and sparkly, and they said I could win a lot of money!!!”.

Adam was silent for a moment . 

Crunch crunch crunch

He shoved several more spoonfuls into his mouth, and the sound of his loud crunching filled the room while Emily awkwardly twiddled her thumbs in partial shame. 

“Ems. Why would you need money?” He deadpanned flatly as he used magic to pour even more cereal into his bowl. “Heaven bucks don't mean shit up here”.

“But they're nice to have!!!! I wanted to buy you a present!!!” She defended. A pour covered her adorable face and her wings ruffled defensively.

Adam resisted the urge to facepalm. Especially since he still had dried syrup on his face from earlier. “Okay but I'm literally the richest motherfucker in Heaven, Ems! I could've just given you the Heaven bucks!”. 

Emily’s lip quivered at this. “B-but I wanted it to be special.” she muttered softly. 

‘Dad fucking damnit. I can't win here’ he thought as he set down his bowl with a sigh. Grabbing the cereal box, Adam reached his hand in and dug around inside until he pulled out a wrapped toy. It was a small cutesy figure of Peter holding a purple book, with a blue button on the back. 

Emily's eyes sparkled as she saw the toy, and she hastily plucked it from Adam's hands before unwrapping it with glee and excitement. “They have purple ones now??? I thought they only had orange green red blue brown and puce!!!”. 

Adam let out a chuckle, as he ruffled Emily's hair again. She in turn giggled with a blush, and turned her focus to the toy. She pressed the button and began listening to the melodies that the toy Peter was creating. 

“Feeling better?” He asked with a knowing smirk. 

“.....Maaaybe” Emily giggled bashfully. She scooted her chair all the way around the table, so she could nuzzle into Adam's side. 

Adam kissed her forehead and gave her a soft noogie, which made her squeal slightly in joy. “Good. No more of that sad shit, okay? Now, what exactly happened with this scam?”. 

Emily sighed softly, as she held the toy in her grasp. She pressed the button again, as more music began to play. “It was a really pretty image that said ‘You can make tons of flipping money, if you let us borrow your most precious possession’...that's what it said”. 

Her words had once again led to Adam shoveling more cereal into his mouth. He chewed deeply, contemplating her words. ‘Hm. Given her non-cursing, and the cheap words, it sounds like it was a soul-scam from…Hell. Of-fucking-course’.

“Well the bad news, Ems, is that your Halo has been snatched away to Hell. And the soul scam is totally irreversible. Even for my Soul knowledge”. Adam told her this simply. He grabbed his bowl and began chugging down the remainder of the pink milk, as if he wasn't giving such dour news.

At these blatant and bold words, Emily’s mouth was wide open in utter shock and tears were just beginning to form in her eyes at Adams seemingly . 

“But!”

The sudden and positive words from Adam made Emily blink, making her hang on to his word like an emotional lifeline. 

Despite just speaking, Adam was still well into chugging his milk, before he set it down with a loud sigh and a louder burp. “But, the good news is that I ain't no bitch. And I'm going to go down to Hell to get your Halo back”. 

Such a bold proclamation made Emily’s eyes sparkle with the brilliance of a newborn star. “Really???” She asked with hopeful amazement. 

Seeing Emily looking at him with such adoration only made Adam grin proudly. “Fuck yeah. And you're coming with me”. 

“Yay!” Emily cheered as she wrapped her arms around Adam. Her wings wrapped around his large frame, and she nuzzled her face into his side. “You're the best, Adam!”.

With his teeth in a proud smile, Adam chuckled as he picked a stray piece of cereal out of his teeth. “Heh. Damn right I am. Now let's go. I gotta shower, and I need your help getting all this syrup off me”. 

Southern Sphere Cloud Bluffs, Heaven

6:49 am

“Are you sure about this, Adam?” Emily asked with hesitation. Dressed in her usual formal periwinkle Seraphim garb, she couldn't help but seem….worried standing with Adam at the end of one of Heaven’s cloud bluffs. 

“I'm totally 777% sure, Ems. You trust me, right?” Adam asked. He continued to slurp a large ‘Jonah Juice’ drink from a straw, like he did with countless drinks on most days. Garbed in his usual robes and helmet, he stood with Emily upon the edge of the Heavenly clouds. 

She nodded at his words, but still couldn't help but wring her hands together anxiously. “I do….it's just-” she hesitated for a moment as her blue eyes were glued to her feet. “Aren't we not allowed to go to Hell? I thought after the whole…..Exterminations thing…” she trailed off. The obvious implication filled the space that her words created. 

Adam's grip tightened ever so slightly, at that mention. The gold lenses of his helmet thankfully didn't allow Emily to see his pupils narrowing to fine points, nor did they allow her to see the veins bulging on his neck as a result of his teeth gritting. 

Even though it pissed him off…

Even though it enraged him…

Even though he had absolutely torn his entire mansion apart at having to know that the Heavenly council had first stopped the Exterminations after he had been sent crawling back like an injured kitten, and were greenlighting the retarded redemption idea of Lucifer’s crotch spawn… 

He pushed it out of his mind.

‘This isn't about my bullshit. It's about….about her. Helping her’ he told himself, giving a small sigh. “That is true, that we're not allowed to go down there. But this isn't a normal circumstance, right?” he asked as took one last sip of the juice, before tossing it over the edge of the clouds below. 

Emily watched as the half filled cup of juice fell down from Heaven, before she looked at Adam curiously. “Is it?” She genuinely wondered. 

With a flick of his wrist, Adam summoned a very graphic yet archaic drawing of an olden style demon standing on a mountain of skulls. The demon was shooting lasers out of his eyes, as he held an Angels halo on his grasp and was standing on a mountain of corn cobs. “Yup. You're a Seraphim, Ems. So the last thing that Heaven needs is one of those chucklefucks getting the power that comes with an Angel’s halo”. 

Emily looked at the drawing with fascination. “.....Did you draw this?” She couldn't help but wonder. 

“Me? Oh, nah. My boy Michelangelo did this for me”. The drawing disappeared instantly, and Adam immediately clapped his hands together. “But yeah. This can technically be classified as keeping the peace between Heaven & Hell, because a powerful object like your Halo could cause some wild chaos in the wrong hands. Besides, do you want to have to go to Sera about this and hear her ‘I'm not mad at you, but you have disappointed me greatly’ speech?”. 

Emily shivered noticeably as she shut her eyes tight at the memory. 

Even Adam couldn't help but cringe, at his own words. “Yeah. I don't want to have to hear that shit again. And I got my ass chewed up and spit out, over the whole Council bullshit”. Shaking his head to clear those thoughts, Adam grinned as he placed his hands on his hips. “So we're gonna go down there, and fuck some shit up to get your Halo back!!....But you know, peacefully….ish” he shrugged at the end. 

Seeing Adam so take charge on this matter made Emily’s heart beat faster. While he always had been the type of person to take the bull by the horns, and body slam them through a window, it was comforting that he was healing, since the debacle with the council. 

The days that followed Adams punishment from the council were very strenuous for the two of them. Emily had been torn between her desire to help the condemned sinners in Hell below, and her love and care for Adam. 

There had been entire weeks where Emily lacked the courage to face him, because she felt guilty weighing down on her for how she felt regret at not supporting Adam during the trial. 

But seeing Adam so willing to not only help her, but also avoid making things personal was a balm to her currently bruised emotions. With a quick flap of her wings, she gently came to Adam, and buried her face into his robe. Her arms wrapped under his own long sleeves, and she squeezed him as tight as she could. 

With a roll of his eyes Adam chuckled, patting her head again. “Heh. Try not to look so happy, Ems”. 

Her head craned up at him, with eyes open with the shimmering grace of stardust, and she giggled happily. “Nope! Too late! It's my job as a Seraphim, and my duty as your girlfriend!”. 

“Pbbbt”. Blowing his tongue out in a raspberry, Adam booped her nose before picking her up under his arm. Walking over to the edge of the clouds, he carried her like luggage as they both faced the edge. 

“Alright Ems. We're gonna take the long way down to Hell, so we don't draw any attention from that gutless cuck Lucifuck.”

“Right” Emily nodded resolutely. But after a moment, she blinked in confusion before looking up at Adam, as she was being carried from her midsection and was technically bent over. “Uh…..what's the long way exactly?”.

Her answer was received with a simple flap of Adams golden wing. They flew off the edge and hovered over the space where the clouds ended. 

Far below them was the finite expanse of the blue sky that separated Heaven from Earth. Even though it was much grander than even the distance from the Earth to the Moon in technical terms, one would eventually end up back in Earth's atmosphere if they were foolish enough to end up falling off the usually guarded edges of Heavens numerous spheres. 

“Easy. We fly down” Adam answered simply. 

At such a simplistic claim, Emily's eyes were wide. “......Fly?”.

“Mmhm” he nodded, as he snapped his fingers and formed a golden sphere of magic around them. “At lightspeed. Down to Hell”. With another snap, the sphere closed down upon them, until it became translucent and stuck to them like latex. 

Emily looked down at her gloved hands, and let out a surprised coo at seeing the see through golden magic that covered her body. “Oooh! It's so warm! Your magic always makes me feel so tingly!” She giggled. 

“Yup. We're gonna need that protection, because once we go past lightspeed, we're gonna fucking blitz through the barriers between, and end up in Hell. And even though you're technically my boss-”

“Yay! I'm your boss!” Emily cheered with a smile. 

“Only technically” Adam grumbled, before he gave her a gentle poke in the head. “Even though you're technically my boss, and stronger since you're a Seraphim, you're still inexperienced. So I don't want to run any risks of you turning into fucking potato paste, before being turned into ashes before being turned into atomic coleslaw”. 

Emily nodded, and made sure to give Adam a playful salute. “I'm ready, lieutenant boyfriend!”. 

“Then it looks like we have the clearance to get out asses in gear, Commander girlfriend!” He grinned, showcasing his row of golden helmet teeth. “Let's lick tits!!!”. 

He stopped hovering in place, and let himself and Emily fall. 

And with that, Adam fell.

And fell.

And fell.

Gravity took its course, as Adam & Emily fell downwards, farther and farther from the alabaster sky of the Heavenly spheres. 

While Emily had a lot of experience in flying, she wasn't used to free falling. So she held onto Adam slightly, as she watched the sky move around them with equal parts nervousness and excitement. 

On the other hand, Adam had often free falled since he first came to Heaven and gaining his wings. He saw having wings as a blessing. 

Many times in his life on earth, he had looked up from the fields he toiled and wished to have the wings of the Angels in the skies. So maybe he and his family could fly back to Eden. Or just somewhere else where they didn't have to suffer as they suffered. 

Shaking his head free, Adam righted the both of them in the air, so he was facing downwards. “Hang on, Ems. This is where shit gets all sciencey and bullshit!” He called out over the rushing air. 

And as Adam flapped his wings, the air around them exploded in a sonic boom. 

Throom!!!

They began soaring faster and faster downwards, as Emily watched in amazement. She grabbed a strand of her hair, and noticed that it wasn't being furiously blown away despite them moving at beyond the speed of sound. And as she saw the golden magic glistening on her periwinkle strand, she smiled to herself. ‘Even when we're both falling, Adam is still there to protect me’ she thought to herself, as she instinctively wrapped her wings around Adam's arm as best as she could.

Adams' wings began to practically burn golden, as they also burned the air around him. They extended to their full wingspan, as he beat them once more, sending them flying further downward at ludicrous speeds. 

ThROON!!!

As they began to race farther and farther down, hundreds of thousands of miles began to pass in seconds, as Adams' wings began to be coated in white hot flames. 

After a full minute, the Earth came into view, alongside the sky around them changing to the distant outer atmosphere of the planet. “Hold onto your tits!!!! Shits about to get trippy!!!” Adam called out inside the barrier, before his halo and wings turned translucent for a moment. 

Just a moment. 

With one singular beat, his wings turned an infinitely many amount of colors, shades and tones as they expanded out to 700 feet on either side of him. 

In the millisecond that it took for Adam’s full wings to expand, Emily looked up at him with eyes full of shock and amazement. 

Adam simply flashed her a rainbow colored smile, and gave her a finger gun and a click of his teeth. 

THWROOONN!!!!!

And then light. 

Light and flight. 

Adam shot forward at beyond lightspeed. 

Having Emily in his grasp, they shot downwards to the earth at a speed that none below would be able to see with their simple human eyes. 

Before Emily could even breathe, she and Adam were face first with the stone side of a large mountain. 

Before she could even blink, there was an overreaching white expanse that came into being around them. 

Before she could even think, there was an endless black abyss which they entered, attempting to pull at them from every side. 

And after her heart finally beat once, they were underneath a red sky with a crimson pentagram. 

Adam slowed down, and eventually came to a full stop before he began floating mid-air. His wings returned to their golden lustor as they beat to keep him and Emily supported in the skies above Hell. With a sigh, Adam cracked his neck and dispersed the golden shield around them. “Well, here we are. Take it all in, Ems”. 

With bright eyes, Emily looked up in the sky and to the red city below them and finally began floating herself as she released Adam. “Wow!!!! We're in Hell!!!! I can't believe it!!! It's so….so….” she trailed off, with her smile slowly falling. Her heightened Seraphim eyes began scanning the denizens and locations below, taking in the numerous citizens and actions that occurred on the red ground underneath them.

“....Is….is this really Hell?” Emily asked with a mix of hesitant uncomfortableness.

“Yep” he answered and dug his gloved pinkie into his ear. 

“Oh”. She looked back and forth, as her brow furrowed at the numerous things she was seeing of the Sinners in their natural habitat. “Is…it really so-”.

“Yep” he repeated, casting a deadpan glance at the city as a whole. Not even using his heightened vision to see the debased debauchery he'd seen countless times over countless centuries. 

“.....Oh”. Emily opened her mouth several times, as she tried to bring up something positive about what she was witnessing. But as she and Adam floated above, she could only close her mouth repeatedly as she couldn't even pick anything remotely optimistic. 

“........Is all of Hell really this….bad?” she couldn't help but ask. 

“Nah”.

Emily looked up to him with hopeful eyes, her smile returned in full force. “Really??”.

“Yup. The rest of it is much worse” Adam told her bluntly. 

Emily's wings immediately dropped down, and she hung slumped over with her smile shattered in record time.”........Oh”.

“This is just the city where they keep the sinners. It's basically a fucking Zoo. The Hellborn are basically this bad, but in worse ways. It's like the difference between a crippled guy and a homeless guy. You avoid looking at them when you cross ‘em on the street, but for different reasons”. He told her this, with apathetic factualism, that Emily had rarely seen in Adam. And she could tell that his experiences in dealing with Hell and sinners were much more detailed than he was letting on. 

“Adam?”

Adam finished flicking some stray earwax off his ear, and looked over to Emily curiously. To his surprise, he saw her face filled with worry, nervousness and hesitation. 

Hesitation targeted at him. 

“I….” she started, only to pause as she looked down at her fiddling fingers. “I don't want us to cause any….problems, in Hell. I know you're here to help me but…I want us to remember why we came here”. 

Adam was silent at her words. And suddenly-

Flick

Emily looked up in shock as she felt Adams' finger flick her forehead. “Hey! Owie! My head!!” She cried out. It definitely caught her attention, but her outcry was more out of surprise than actual pain. 

“Tch. C'mon Ems. I thought that when we started dating, we promised to be honest with each other” Adam huffed slightly. 

With wide eyes, and gently rubbing the spot where he flicked her, Emily looked at him like a deer caught in the headlight. 

Adam rolled his eyes with a huff, before he spun her around. After which, she was facing him directly as he held her hands. “What you really want to say is ‘Adam, I don't want you to start blasting away those filthy sinner demons, even though they're basically making crack out of goat bones and laundry detergent that they can sell to children’, right?”. 

Such a crude yet accurate statement caused her to blush bright blue in embarrassment at being found out so easily. 

But before she could string out any apologies, Adam leaned forward and kissed her forehead. In the exact place where he flicked her. 

She stared at him with even wider eyes at the act, and he too was silent for a moment. But even under his helmet, she could tell that he was blushing slightly. 

“Hehee!”

Emily let out a giggle. A giggle which transformed into jubilant laughter. Laughter which made Adam flash her another grin. 

“So, it looks like I kissed the Seraphim on the head, hm?” He grinned as he spun her around some more. 

Holding his hands warmly, Emily spun around happily, as she then came close to Adam. Her back was to his chest as his arms were wrapped warmly around her waist. “Yeah. I'm sorry for not being honest” she smiled as she nuzzled back against him. 

“Ehhh. Don't stress it Ems. I don't blame ya. Apart of me really wants to lay waste to these fucking shit kicking losers” he confessed with a slight frown. 

But with an even deeper frown from Emily, he raised his hands up in mock surrender. “Sheesh, let me finish Ems! Ahem. But, since I love you and care about you, and because you give the best head in all of Heaven-”

Adam was immediately cut off as Emily pushed her hands over his mouth and brushed up a storm. “A-adam!!! That's so dirty!!” she squealed as of her now blushing blue face. But even despite this, she couldn't fight the bashful smile on her face.

In response to this, Adam simply chuckled as he pulled her hands away softly and planted kisses on each one. “Because you give the best hugs in all of Heaven..” he corrected as he waggled his eyebrows. 

“Hmph! That's better” Emily huffed with crossed arms. Yet regardless, she still was smiling as she looked at him affectionately. 

He rolled his eyes, and wrapped his arms around her waist again as he continued. “Because of those reasons….Im gonna focus on helping you find your Halo”. 

Such words made her turn around in his embrace, and gently put her hands against his chest. “Really Adam?” She looked up at him with a melting heart. 

“You know it babe.” He smirked as he cupped her chin. “So that's why I'll make a deal with you. I promise not to attack any of these demon losers, as long as they don't attack us first or are directly standing in the way of getting your Halo back”. 

Such an offer made Emily look at him with bright eyes that could melt stone. “Pinky promise?” She asked as she raised her left pinky. 

He could only smirk, before he raised both of his pinkies in return. “Bitching-Badass-Double Pinky Promise”. 

She squealed in joy, as she immediately interlocked each of their pinkies together and then broke them off together. “Yay!!!! Thank you Adam”. 

“Heh. Thank me later. Now stand still, so I can figure out where the fuck we're going”. Adam gently plucked a strand of Emily's hair-

“Owie”

And inspected it closely. His gloved hands covered the hair in gold, before the hair began to form into a circle. With a snap of his fingers, Adam formed a gold compass, with the hair inside the dial's face. The compass began glowing brightly, and Adam took Emily's hand. 

“Alright. C'mon Ems. This thing will lead us to the right path, but it'll only work when we're on the ground. So stick next to me, and don't talk to any strangers. Because they're either try to stab you, suck you off, or both” he warned.

Only for Emily to immediately crash into him gently, and look up at him with excited eyes. “Yes sir, lieutenant boyfriend!!” She giggled. 

Wrapping his arm around her waist, Adam grinned savagely as he took the compass in his other hand. “Damn straight. Now let's fuck up some demons…..peacefully”. 

And as the dial on the compass spun, Adam and Emily flew down together, towards Pentagram city. 

Pentagram City, Pride Ring, Hell

7:04 am

In an alley nestled in the heart of the city, the squalor that seemed to be ever present was especially noticable in this particular alleyway. 

There were numerous Sinner Demons who were occupying the space in between buildings, and doing the numerous things that made their immortal damnation as meaningless or meaningful as it was. 

Some were digging through the overflowing trash cans for any number of possible objects. 

Others were hunched over, and frequently opening raggedy overcoats to showcase their wares or privates to other Sinners. 

A few were leaning against the walls, and doing repeated actions such as flipping coins or just polishing their weapons openly. 

And the remainder were just resting, as they enjoyed a moment of peace that usually was absent from the usual chaos of Pentagram City. 

Near the far wall of the alleyway, there was a lanky Fox Sinner with orange furr, pink bloodshot eyes, and a pair of broken yellow antlers jutting out of his skull. He was wearing a set of black overalls, and had a crumpled brown fishing hat on his head. He was scratching the mangy fur on his neck absentmindedly, as he was pawing through some crumbled bills that he had pulled from his pocket. 

“C'mon man. Have your money straight” a horse sinner told him, as he was holding some baggies of crack that was cut with laundry detergent. “The prices haven't changed, have that shit straight” he tsked, as he scratched his cracked lips. Wearing a pair of burnt sweatpants and a crusted hoodie, he was the picture of narcotic expertise. His green hair was slicked back, and cheap cologne mixed with the naturally unwashed scent on him. And to make matters worse, the pox on his lips were as disgusting as they were postulating. 

As the Fox sinner pulled out the last of his bills that were greasy and smelled like shameful alley sex, the winds kicked up in the alleyway, causing confusion amongst the various sinners. 

“Ah! My fucking eyes??!”

“What the Hell???”

“Oooohhh fuck! This is actually perfect blowjob weather!!”

As the dust eventually settled, the various sinners looked to see a shockingly horrifying sight. 

Before them were two Angels. 

The shorter of the two was being carried like a piece of luggage. She had a very pleasant look on her face, with a smile that could make puppies cheer. Her vibrant blue palette contrasted with the crimson and pink hues of Hell and its denizens, and her periwinkle hair was the most pure & clean thing in all of Pentagram City. 

The other Angel was the one that invoked the most fear. Standing taller than even any Overlord, he was bathed in white and gold. His wings sat behind him with golden brilliance that even made them in all their fearlessness since. And he was decked in a black helmet, that bore shining sharp gold teeth and eyes that seemed to judge them from the depths of their souls. 

All was silent as the sinners stared at the pair of Angels 

A pin could be heard dropping for miles, as nobody even dared to breathe. 

“Hello, you poor ugly fuckers!!!” Adam grinned as he cast them a offhanded wave with a forced smile. “Don't worry, I come in peace and I'm not here to do you assholes any harm-”

“HOLY SHIT!!!! ITS A FUCKING ANGEL!!!!” Screamed out a Hamster sinner with a wheel stuck around his neck. 

“KILL THAT BASTARD!!!!” A female cannibal ordered, as she whipped out a breech load shotgun.

The full totality of the alleyway sinners came to bear on the both of them, as the sinners whipped out firearms and unloaded the brunt of their arsenals. Bullets, grenades, throwing knives, even a washing machine was thrown towards them with intent to kill at worst and brutally main at best. 

…

…

And the fat load of good it did, as they all uselessly came into contact with Adams golden shield. 

Adam watched drly at the Sinners piss poor attempts at harming him and Emily, as the golden snug shield of Heavenly energy around them made them impervious to the pitiful physical weaponry. “...I think we're gonna have to kill these fuckers, Ems” he told her flatly.

“...Aw” Emily sighed as she nodded in understanding, before covering her eyes with her palms at the carnage that was about to be unleashed. 

With that spoken, Adam snapped his fingers simply and summoned a floating orb of glowing light above himself. 

All of the sinners watched in amazed horror as the orb shifted into a floating eyeball. The eyeball grew several burning rings around it, as it started glowing brighter and brighter. 

“Be Not Afraid”

The sinners stared at the speaking eyeball. 

They couldn't look away. 

Their eyes filled with tears, as the glowing aura captured their hearts and lobotomized their minds with pulses of divine energy. 

As the glowing eye reached its apex, it began to bleed silver as the rings spinning at Mach 7 around it, became undone. 

“B̴̼̰̊ȇ̶̛͇ Ņ̵̝̾̈̀ō̶̦̅͜͝t̸̗͇͍̽͂͝ ̴̲̥̚Ā̵͕͐̋l̵͎̍́i̵̻̝̜͛́v̶̹͂͌e̷̞̺̪̕ ̷͔̕”

The alleyway was silently and immediately filled with white brilliance. 

Pure, indescribable whiteness that was as silent as a breath from the unborn. 

As the glowing heat disappeared, Adam coughed into his fist and waved his hand to remove the smell of Heavenly wax & oil the followed the attack. “Fuck. That always gives me the creeps” Adam muttered, as he gazed at the alleyway around him. 

There was no trace of any sinners. Both the assailants and any sinners who would usually inhabit the alley. 

No clothing.  

No weapons. 

No footprints. 

Not even the scent of the sin that covered the Pride Ring like a damned odor. 

The alleyway…..was suspiciously clean. 

“Is it over yet?” Emily asked cutely, as her hands were still perched over her eyes like someone playing hide and seek. 

“Oh yeah, it's over” Adam nodded as he set her down for a moment. He looked at the compass, as the needle began spinning. “It's gonna take a second to recalibrate. But don't touch anything. I don't want you getting stuck like you did with that Chinese puzzle trap”. 

“It was one time!!!” Emily pouted, stamping her foot cutely. “You always bring that up!”.

Adam grinned, as he playfully put a hand over his mouth. “One time, where you got your fingers stuck in it for an hour, and Sera had to cut it off of you while you were crying”. 

At this, Emily quickly floated over to Adam and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She stuck her tongue out as she playfully squished her cheek against his. “Nope. Uh uh. Didn't happen. And I outrank you, so what I say goes” she smiled proudly. 

Scoffing, Adam playfully elbowed her belly as he rolled his eyes. “Now look who's getting greedy with power”. 

Emily's giggles filled the eerily quiet alleyway, and she was practically glowing as she dropped back down to the alley floor. She couldn't help but look around at the landscape, as she curiously took in the very…..bland features. “Hey Adam? How come everything is so……red?” she couldn't help but wonder. Looking around, she noticed the repeating color palette. 

The sky was red. 

The buildings were red. 

The dirt on the ground was red. 

The trash in the garbage cans that were overflowing in the alleyways, were an off-putting shade of red. 

Adam scoffed as he adjusted the dial on the compass. “I have no fucking idea, Ems. Everything here is like the worst shades of red possible, and it doesn't make sense. Hell being red isn’t even in the Bible!” He emphasized as he waved a hand around animatedly. “But knowing that gutless circus fraud, he probably got word of how we were talking about it, and made it so that this place would be like Vegas on drugs out of spite”. 

Lighting up at this, Emily immediately looked over Adams shoulder and watched him continue to fine tune the compass. “Oh!!! What's Vegas like?”.

“....It's not bad, but it's not great.” Adam spoke carefully after choosing his words. 

Finally, the compass lit up once again and Adam flashed a savage grin. “Aha! Bingo, bitches! Show me what we're working with”. The dial spun for a moment before stilling and pointing once again. “Aha!!!! Now we're cooking!” He grinned as he clicked his teeth. “C'mon Ems! The deeper we go!!!” He whooped, as he held his hand out for Emily. 

Immediately she took his hand with a happy squeal. “Yay!!! Let's go!!!!”. 

Adams' wings splayed out, with his magic channeling through the feathers. They wrapped around himself and Emily, before they were consumed in a large flash of gold light, with the two disappeared and left the alley eerily empty. 

At this moment, an androgynous sinner with an entire blobfish for a head entered the alleyway, wearing nothing but high heels and a sequined cowboy hat. 

“Alright! Who's ready to trade some crack for some nasty blobjobs- wait….where is everyone?” They asked in confusion, as they looked and didn't see any traces of the usual creeps and johns in the alleyways. 

Dig-In Docks, Gluttony Ring, Hell

1:12 pm

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCKING FUCKMOTHERING BAG OF CUNTS!!!!!!!” 

The grey skinned Shark Hellborne slammed the door behind himself in fear, as the building around him was shaking on its foundations. 

He was garbed in a loose fitting stained tank top, had black slacks, and his formerly slick purple hair was now messy and matted to his forehead in sweat. He was lanky, had a pink jellyfish tattoo on his cheek and he was quite literally quaking in his leather boots.

Boom!!!! Kra-shoom!!!

“Damnit damnit DAMNIT!!!!!” He cursed and shakily began locking the heavy metal doors behind him. 

The bolt

The top lock

The latch

The knob

He even pushed a desk against the door for extra measure. 

The gunfire downstairs was utterly chilling, and the screams he heard were even moreso. 

“FUCK!!!! WHY CAN'T WE KILL HIM?!”

“NO NO NO NONONONOMOMMY!!!!!”

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, VAPOR-???”

The last voice was silenced by a loud blast that made the building shake even further. 

Thooom!!!!!

The shark Hellborne slowly backed away from the barricaded door, as he gulped deeply. “Fuck!!!! What the fuck is h-happening here???” He ranted as he shakily paced. “An Angel??? A Satan damned Angel? What the fuck??? Why me!!!”. He ran his clawed hands through his hair as he bit his lip in fearful frustration. “What did I do to deserve this?? Like, what specifically?”. 

THUM!!!!

The desk and the door exploded outwards…

The shark screamed…

And a gloved hand was immediately around his neck as he was lifted off the ground.

The shark gagged as he choked and was powerless to resist. His watery eyes looked through the dust and airborne dirt to see none other than the same Angel who had torn his men to pieces. 

With golden eyes that promised righteous destruction.

“Vapor Mako?” Adam asked plainly, as he looked the shark up and down. 

The now named Vapor, could only blink in fear before he was interrupted again. 

“I'm gonna make things simple, since I don't really want to talk to you more than I have to” he started, as he dropped the Shark instantly.

Vapor scurried back some until he was to the far wall of his office, while Adam continued. “You have something that belongs to me. Something I'm willing to kill for” he said as his eyes narrowed at Vapor dangerously. 

“But not if we don't have to, of course!” 

Vapor blinked in shock, as a shorter Angel seemed to appear out of nowhere from next to the man. She was smiling softly, and was objectively less fearsome looking than the taller Angel. 

“...Yeah. What she said” Adam agreed, before turning to Vapor as he stood next to Emily. “We're looking for a halo. A halo that was stolen in a soul scam”. 

With a wave of his hands, Adam created a golden holographic display that showcased not only Emily's halo, but also the imagery of the scam. “Now, you have 2 choices,” he said, holding up two fingers. “You tell me what I want to know, and I don't throw you down to the basement of Hell dick first. Or you don't, and I'll shove my foot so fucking far up your ass, that I'll leave here with the information and a pair of sharkskin boots” he finished. His baleful staring at the demon left no room for amusement. 

The fear in Vapor's eyes was apparent. He looked between Adam & Emily, as he was absolutely fearful. 

Adam was everything he had feared, when it came to the stories of Exterminations for the Sinners.

Emily was softly smiling in a way that made him wonder if he should feel relaxed or even more afraid.

“W-wait!!! I know what you're talking about!!!! One of my m-men has soul rackets going around in the human world!” He reassured as he held his hands out desperately. 

“Then talk” Adam ordered with a golden flare. 

A deep shaky gulp was his response. “W-when he got the H-halo, I w-was gonna give it to Beelzebub t-to get some more power or influence-”

He barely had a moment to finish his thought, when Adam slammed his fist into the wall next to Vapors head. 

“YOU GAVE THE HALO TO A FUCKING SIN, YOU SLIMEY FISH FUCKER?” Adam snarled as he summoned his golden axe next to him in a rage. 

“I-I DIDN'T!!!” Mako screamed out in fear. Tears were pouring from his eyes as his gills were flaring out in a hyperventilating fashion. “THAT FUCKING CHEAP BASTARD MADE OFF WITH THE HALO, AND WENT TO THE GREED RING TO SELL IT!!!!”. 

Silence filled the room with these words. Adam’s eyes narrowed as the axe disappeared and he picked Vapor up again by his tank top. “He sold it? In Greed?” He questioned with a low voice.

“Yes!!!”. Vapor's head would've fallen off, with how hard he was nodding. “He's got a morphine addiction, a-and he went behind my back and sold it! I heard he got 90,000 souls for it!!!” He reassured Adam. 

Once again, a heavy silence filled the room as Adam looked over Vapor. The shark Hellborne could feel his heart ready to burst out of his chest, as he was fearful of being ripped in half or blasted to ashes. 

Yet to his shocked relief, Adam turned on his heels and made to leave the office. “C'mon Ems. It smells like bad pussy in here” he muttered as he left out the door. 

After Adam tucked down through the doorway, Emily simply pulled out a tiny blue booklet of stickers. Taking a sticker she put it on Vapor’s arm before giving him a smile. “Bye! Thanks for the help” she waved before floating out after Adam. 

Soon Vapor was left in the office alone. 

He held his breath for a moment. 

For two moments. 

For three moments. 

Krrrrrrshoon!!!!

The entire left half of the room immediately collapsed, as Vapor hit the floor in shock. Staying on the ground for several more moments, he looked up to see that half of his 4th story office was….gone. 

Getting up on unsteady feet, he walked over to see the honeycombed sky of Gluttony, and the cityscape that bordered the docks where he ran his criminal operations. 

Carefully leaning to peeked over the edge, he saw the lower 3 floors had massive arcs and holes in them from the golden blasts he had witnessed when the Angel had first burst into the building and demanded answers. 

Half his men were dead. 

The rest who lived had fled.

Stragglers were currently looting his guns, drugs, and anything else that wasn't nailed down-

Until he also saw a pair of Hellhounds carrying out a kitchen sink and a toilet.

A heavy sigh left his lips, as he took a moment to sit down over the edge of the building. Resting his chin on his hands, he was quiet for a moment. But looking at his arm, he finally noticed the sticker that the woman Angel placed on him. 

It was a bright blue sticker of a winged gummy shark, who was smiling, and the words ‘Yummy Gummy’ in bright green words.

Vapor blinked as he looked at the sticker on his arm. 

He didn't rip it off, he didn't destroy it, he just sat there contemplating his life choices up till now.

…

…

…

“Shit”.

Pennypool, Greed Ring, Hell

3:38 pm

“200 Souls? Are you kidding me???”

The bearded Imp blinked tiredly from behind his window, and pressed the microphone to communicate once again. “I'm sorry sir, but 200 souls is the best I can offer, in this condition” he spoke plainly. 

“But it's an antique!!!” refuted the Short Hellhound before he motioned to the object in his hands. “It was passed down in my family for three generations!!!” .

“It's a sex toy, sir” the bearded Imp deadpanned. He motioned to the sterling silver dildo on the other side of the window. “If you want a higher price, then go to Lust. 200 is the final offer”.

Growling in frustration, the Hellhound placed his palm on the parchment next to the window begrudgingly. “Fine….damn cheapskates”. 

In a green burst of magic, the Silver dildo was instantly shrunken down to neon green wisp, as it was sent through the window and back to the depths of the business.  

The Imp behind the counter grabbed $200 of Mammon greenbacks and expertly wrapped them “Thank you for your patronage sir. We know you have your choice of establishment, and we at ‘Mammons Green Exchange’ thank you for your decision in choosing us. Have a lovely day” he spoke simply, sliding the fresh bills under the window.

Unfortunately, the Hellhound wasn't as keen to be cordial. “Yeah yeah, eat my asshole” he scoffed as he snatched the money, and made his way out of the busy building. 

The Imp let out a sigh. He was used to such behavior. Not only as a mistreated and underpaid employee, but also as an Imp in Lucifer Morningstar's Hell. He soothed his striped horns to try and bring himself at least some relief. “A double shift. I definitely don't get paid enough for this” he sighed. Nonetheless, he rung the bell at his station and spoke louder into his mic. “Next customer- oh!”.

Yet he let out a gasp of surprise, at the sight of two figures he wouldn't expect to see in Hell, much less the Greed Ring. 

Two Angels.

A man & a woman. 

The other attendants were watching in shock from their windows, and countless customers were whispering to themselves. Even while they were within their own lines, and haggling for their own goods in exchange for souls. 

The Imp gulped as he looked upwards at the male Angel, who was looking at him plainly. Yet he tried to put on a brave face and spoke up. “H-hello. Welcome to Mammons Green Exchange: ‘Where Money Meets Magic’. H-how May I help you…sir?”.

The male Angel crouched down slightly, so his face was fitting in the window frame. “Yeah, I need to buy some info”. 

Nodding, the imp pulled out a heavy tome from under his station. “Of course. What's the nature of your information request?”. 

“A greasy fucking shark sold an Angelic object here. He sold it to fund his drug addiction, and he got 90,000 souls for it” Adam stated specifically. “I need to know what happened to it, and where it went”. 

Ignoring the shocked gasps of his coworkers at the information, the Imp continued his professionalism. “Of course sir. As long as you're aware that confidential information on official MGE exchanges with 3rd parties due have an…..additional processing fee”. The Imp’s tail flickered awkwardly, and he was nervous as to the Angels reaction to this information. 

But instead of screaming or raging, Adam simply snapped his fingers. 

Sheing

In a burst of holy light, Adam suddenly held a platinum ornate tray. And atop that tray were 7 golden bricks stacked on the tray. 

“What I have right here is 7 bricks of Heavenly Gold” Adam spoke plainly. “The price of gold on Earth nowadays is $3,300ish bucks per ounce. Each one of these suckers weighs around 30ish pounds”.

Everyone in the establishment, both employees and customers were watching in awed shock at the massive display of wealth. 

It wasn't unusual to see the society hounds spreading their assets and flaunting their money in the Greed Ring. But to see someone doing it without prejudicial or insulting behavior to the less fortunate around them certainly was a shock.

Adam picked up one of the Gold bricks and showed it off to the imp. The brick had a white-platinum gleam to it, and imprinted in the bar was a seal with a cloud and a gate. Underneath the seal, was the phrase ‘Divitiae Non Amatae’ in cursive.

“So with that said, that's about $1,333,200 for one of these. And if you went to school on the short bus, that's about $11,665,500 for all seven” he offhandedly said before placing the brick back on the tray, and the tray onto the counter. 

Everyone was silent. 

Adam scratched his chin. 

“...Excuse me? Can I have one of those lollipops?” 

The Imp blinked owlishly due to the words bringing him out of his stunned staring. He looked at the female Angel, who was standing on her toes and looking hopefully at the mug of lollipops he kept at his station. 

“O-oh! Yes. Of course!”. Grabbing a ‘Beelzebub Buttercream’ flavored lollipop, he slid it through the receptacle, and watched as she squealed happily and unwrapped it with a quickness.

As Emily licked the lollipop with contentment, the imp cleared his throat and he nervously looked over Adams gold. “W-well. That's certainly…..a lot to offer sir. How much are you willing to-”

“All of it”

The words caused several imps behind the counter to spit out the coffee they were drinking, and others exclaim in shock. 

“All of it???”

“By Asmodeus’s cunt! Is he actually Mammon in disguise?”

“.....Is he single?”

“No he isn't!!!!” Emily immediately butt in without a moments hesitation.  

Adam blinked in surprise as he looked down at her.

Squeezing herself against his side, Emily had a deep pouting glare with every lick of her lollipop. Her angelic eyes stared judgmentally at the various Hellborne who were blushing, and casting Adam interested looks. 

Especially since some of them were male.

True to her intention, the numerous Hellborne customers and staff backed off from even thinking of flirting with the tall Angel. Even after he had so blatantly shown his blatant wealth.

Gulping once more after loosening his collar, the Imp took a deep breath. He went to work flipping through the log in his possession. It glowed a deep green, as finally came to the page he was seeking. “Y-yes! The Shark who came here was named ‘Ham Headson’. He gave the Halo for the amount you described, and it was sold hours ago to an Incubus in the Lust Ring”. 

Jotting down the information on a slip of paper, the Imp slid the slip through the slot. “The Incubus's name is ‘Jyer Ate’, and he owns a nightclub in Top-Town”. 

With his golden eyes, Adam looked over the address on the paper. Nodding, he shoved it in his pocket with a nod. “Thanks. Pay the required fee with the gold, use $1 million to erase the records of my transaction, and take the rest as a tip”. After Adam quickly placed his hand on the parchment, the gold bricks and the tray immediately turned into a golden wisp. A tiny portion went behind the window, while the rest of it merged with the imp himself. He blinked in surprise at his hands, as his body had golden dust surrounding it before he turned to normal. 

Picking up Emily under his arm again. “C'mon Ems. Let's dip”. Adam headed towards the door, and Hellborne parted like the Red Sea for the Angels to depart. 

With her Lollipop still in her mouth, Emily cast a wave to the imp before the two disappeared out the revolving door. 

Bzzt

“Hm?”. The imp reached into the pocket of his worn green uniform, and pulled out his beaten up cell phone that was years out of date. As the cracked screen lit up, he saw a stunning sight.

-------

GREEN-GREED FINANCES

*Abernathy Tye - Savings*

[$0.05]

*Abernathy Tye - Checking*

[$20.17]

+{$9,596,002}

--------

“...Ha….”

“Haha…"

“Hahaha!!!!”. The laughter slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. But Abernathy couldn't be bothered to care. 

As he reared his head back in a cackle, he ran a hand through his pure white hair that he often spent an hour every morning trying to comb orderly. His dull upwards facing horns had the usual thick stripes, and he closed his yellow eyes in mirthful disbelief. 

“Bert? Are you…are you alright?”

Abernathy eventually settled down. He looked over at the woman who put her hand on his shoulder. 

She stood slightly shorter than him, and was more hefty in size, compared to the average imp. She had a spatter of white freckles on her red skin, and her black horns pointed outwards like a longhorn bull. Her black hair was in a bushy afro, and her black lips were pursed in concern. 

Nancy did always look out for him. 

They ate lunch together as he listened to her excitedly explaining all the gossip she heard in the other Rings. 

Whenever he got screwed over by having to work the night shift, she made sure to switch out so that she could be there to give him company. 

Even the one time where she stopped by with homemade soup and took care of him when he was sick. 

Abernathy had never aspired for much in his life. And despite his feelings, he never thought that he'd ever be lucky enough to be able to go out with Nancy, considering he didn't even make minimum wage for Imps, and lived in a run down apartment 

But considering all the strange shit that happened today…

“Yeah. I'm fine, Nance” he chuckled, as he took off his green vest and uniform visor. “Because I just quit, and retired”. He tossed them onto the floor, hoping to never see them again. 

“Q-quit???”. The shock on her face was evident, and it made him smile more with what he decided to say next. 

“Yup. I can't work these late hours, if I want to find a good restaurant for dinner”. He pocketed his phone, and he felt like the weight of a lifetime was dropping from his shoulders. 

Nancy blinked in confusion, struggling to process the words. “I….I don't…..dinner??! You're quitting for-”

“Would you care to come with me?”. 

The confusion on her face was immediately burned away by a shock that was previously on his own face. Her red cheeks turned a pink hue, as she almost stumbled on her hooves. “D-dinner??? You mean…?”

“Yup”.

She held her cheeks bashfully, as her tail flickered around her nervously. “You…..and…I?”

“Mmmhm”.

Still in disbelief, she pointed to herself and him with her fingers that had pink bedazzled designs on her nails. “J-just the two of us?”. 

He nodded, as a soft smile showed in his bearded face. “It wouldn't be a date otherwise-oof!!!!”.

Abernathy was caught off as Nancy had wrapped her arms around him in a loving embrace. “YES YES YES YES YES! IT'S ALL I'VE EVER WANTED!!!!!” She squealed excitedly as she planted kiss after kiss on his lips. 

He let out a chuckle, as he embraced her back just as lovingly. “I wish you said something sooner, Nance”. 

“Oh Abe, I'm so sorry! It's just..” she sputtered shyly. “Y-you were the only guy who didn't look past me a-and I was so worried that I'd scare you away a-and a-and and-”

“And…”, he interrupted with a smile from the depths of his heart, ”we're gonna be late to find a good spot, if we spend all night here, Nance” he grinned teasingly before he rested his forehead against hers. 

Nancy let out a giggle from the depths of her beating heart, and cupped his cheeks. “Abe, you smooth criminal. When did you get so sweet?”. 

He joined her in laughter, before they began to leave from behind the counter. Hopping over the usually locked service turnstyle for employees, Abernathy helped Nancy over as they began walking hand in hand to the customer entrance with everyone from coworkers to passersby shocked. 

“Hey!!!! Where the fuck are you two going??” Demanded the lanky Hellhound manager. 

“We quit!!!!” Abernathy snapped as he glared back at her. 

This caused her growl, as her pupils slitted in fury. “You can't just leave without submitting your 6 weeks notice!!!!”

“YOU CAN HAVE IT WHEN YOU SUCK IT OUT OF MY ASSHOLE!!!!!!!” screamed Nancy with a sneer. She threw her vest and visor aside and her tail wrapped lovingly around Abernathy's as the doors spun behind them.

The shop was left silent, as everyone from employees to customers looked to the Manager, who appeared ready to rip someone in half. 

“.....Uh, do we get paid overtime for this-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!” She snarled. Her claws dug into the floor, and she stormed back into her office with rage incomparable.

Skeet Street, Top-Town, Lust Ring

5:01 pm

The constant club & party life of the Lust Ring was all the more complimented, under the dark blue sky. 

The glittering stars above were contrasted by the light downpour of rain that seemed to always be present in the entire ring. 

Top-Town was no exception, as it was the snazzy and more wealthy portion of the Lust Ring. Akin to an Uptown on earth. 

The sparkling club lights, the deafening base music that seemed to come from even the most simple convience stores, and the seemingly eternal party that was carried with every breath one took in such a ring. 

Succubi & Incubi prowled the streets as they both showed off their own allure and appeal, while also taking in the sights of other creatures they saw as appetizing. 

And planted right at the center of Top-Town itself, was a veritable hive of activity. Even for the Ring where desire and disgust walked hand in hand.

“...Are you alright, Adam?” Emily wondered from underneath his wing. Adams large golden wing was protecting her from the rain, despite the fact that she could just as easily use her wings to shield herself. 

But Emily would be damned if she would stop Adam from going out of his way to be a loving gentleman. 

And it was because of Adam's caring nature, that made her all the more worried that he was just dourly staring at the club across the street. 

Adam was hunched over, the lenses of his helmet were half hidden in disinterest, as he had a unmistakable frown. 

“.....I hate this Ring....and the idea of it.”

The words made Emily blink in surprise. “Really? But I thought you liked….you know, sex” she spoke slightly quieter than usual. 

Scratching his chest as the raindrop easily wicked down his waterproofed robe, he simply shrugged. “I had a bad experience, involving a super slutty woman once…in a garden”. 

Emily's brow furrowed, and she cocked her head in confusion. “...What happened?”. 

“If I told you, you wouldn't want to eat carrots ever again” he spoke lowly, before saying nothing else. 

The silence, and lacking context could only make Emily's mouth open and close like a fish. “...O-oh”. 

Once more, the pair were quiet as they stood next to each other in the rain. 

…

…

…

“Oh well!!!! Let's go get your Halo, honey!” Adam grinned brightly and he turned to a surprised Emily. 

Her surprise quickly faded into joy at his sudden emotional switch. “Yeah! Let's go!” she cheered with a pump of her fists.

“But first, some ground rules.” Adam started with a raised finger. “#1: Don't touch anyone for any reason, even if you see a little kid crying for help. Because it's probably a midget into Age-play and non-con”. 

“I don't know what that means but I promise I won't help any crying little people!” She nodded in determination. “What's the other rules?”. 

Despite the question, Adam could only open his mouth as his brow furrowed. He scratches his chin, before letting out a shrug. “Actually, that's pretty much it. Stick close to me, like cute on a pony”. 

His words made Emily giggle, as they shared a high five. 

The Angelic pair made their way across the street, to the very vibrant club that was the hub of the pedestrians on the street. 

It was multi-storied, and the partially tinted pink glass showed the moving and passionate figures of the patrons inside, just enough to gain the attention of those outside. 

Flesh-Lights were on the ground and mounted on the walls outside, as they shined colorful lights in the shape of various sex anatomies of numerous species. 

Stoic and muscled Hellhound bouncers stood at the various doors, as they wore tight leather crop tanks and assless chaps that showed off their white g-strings. They even had mirrored shades shaped like pentagrams, despite the lack of emotion on their faces. On their shirts were the words ‘Hard & Ready’ in a sultry cursive. 

The walls of the club had a very sporadic paint job. As the pink, orange and blue colors were repeatedly interrupted by the shapes of people's body's outlining the brickwork. 

It was as if……people were having sex on the building at the time of painting, and the painters simply painted over them, leaving their lewd outlines as a part of the design. 

Finally, right above the cobalt blue reflective doors was a massive neon red sign. It had a massage wand with spikes on it that made it resemble a Morningstar weapon, before the wand's chord turned into a spade shaped tail. And in bright blue glowing words, was the following name of the club:

[Ch★ke-Poin†]

“.....Adam I don't like it here”. Emily's face was in a borderline cringe, as she was trying to do her best to not look at the very……blatant aesthetic of the club. 

Adam couldn't blame her, and simply took hold of her hand and gave it a assured squeeze. “Don't worry Ems. The compass shows that it's definitely here. We just have to get in, get out, and then we can bleach our brains and bodies when we get home…..and burn our clothes”. 

Despite her uneasy and her desire to be as far away from this ring as possible, Emily regained her determination. Noticing the empty space above her head where her Halo should be, she returned Adams squeeze. They made their way to the massive line that extended several streets back and even curved around the block. 

Ignoring all the people crying out in frustration at them cutting the line, or just outright catcalling him, Adam used his wings to shove them aside as he marched to the main Hellhound bouncer at the door.

“Sorry sweet teets.” The bouncer apologized, as he closed his clipboard list and shook his head at the pair of short but curvy Succubi before him. “‘Shortstack-Heart Attack’ has been rescheduled to Sunday now. New rule”. 

“Fuck!!!!! I have to get a train run on me, on Sunday!!!!” the one on the left said, as she threw down her clutch purse in a rage and stormed off, with her friend urgently following short behind. 

“Alright next up- Woah woah! The fuck do you think you're doing?” The red mastiff Hellhound bouncer asked in indignation. One of his ears was clipped, and he had a deep scar on his muzzle that showed some of his teeth. His red eyes glaring as he blocked Adams way. “You can't just cut the line!”. 

“Listen pal, it's been a long day and I've had to kill a lot of Demons” Adam sighed, looking tiredly to the Hellhound. “I don't have it in me to piece you up. So why don't you just go sniff your own asshole, and let me in. I promise I won't kick your ass on the way back out” he reassured as he put a hand to his heart. 

It took all of 10 seconds, before everyone in the immediate line, and the several other bouncers laughed their asses off. Even those in line who were in the middle of not so discreet sex acts, couldn't stop the laughter as they watched Adam trying to reason with the bouncer.

Unlike the rest of his coworkers and the waiting patrons, the bouncer wasn't amused. He crossed his bare beefy arms and let out a scoff. “Riiiiight. Listen bro. This isn't a roleplay type scene. So take your Angel costume and makeup somewhere else” he waved dismissively. “And since you gave everyone else a good laugh, I'll spare you the ass kicking for trying to- HEY!!!”

The Hellhound immediately grabbed his wrist, due to Adam casually trying to go for the doorknob and ignoring his speech. 

Hellhound glared at him with glowering eyes. “I'm talking to you.”

“Get your filthy fucking furry paw off me before I shove it up your ass and fold you like a pretzel” Adam told him in a low voice as he stared back just as ragefully. 

“Ha! Now I know you must be crazy”. This actually managed to make the Hellhound laugh, even if it was just mockingly. He looked down his sunglasses at Adam with a sneer. “Get the fuck out of my line”. 

Adam yanked his hand free as he stared at the Hellhound with nothing short of righteous contempt. “You had better back the fuck up, before you packed the fuck up. Bitch”. 

A series of gasps and shocked noises left the line of club goers. 

The Hellhound’s eyes narrowed deeply, and the other bouncers approached as well. They now focused all their attention on Adam as the slur left his lips. “.....What. Did you just call me?”. 

“Oh??? Did I hurt your feewings by calling you a bitch? Maybe I should've brought you a squeaky toy as an apology???” He mocked, ruthelessy before he sneered at the group of Hellhounds. “Or better yet, maybe I should've gone to the vet and brought you your balls back, in a doggie bag!!! That way you have something to play around with when you get home from eating peanut butter out of each other’s asses on your breaks around back!!!!!”.

Everyone in the line had their mouths gaping open in shock. 

All the gossiping was forgotten. 

All the laughter ceased. 

All arousal went out the window, as the witnessed someone spew out utter vitriol towards a group of Hellhounds, without concern or fear. 

“.....Unholy shit” muttered a 10 inch tall imp, who was sitting on the shoulder of an equally shocked Succubi. 

“Oh you are so fucked, buddy!!!!”. The Hellhound threw his glasses to the side, as his pupils flared in a rage. 

The other 7 bouncers began growling as their claws grew and they bared their teeth threateningly. 

“I'm gonna rip you to shreds, and then make you luck my fucking heels!!!!” He snarled as he instinctively licked scar with his pierced tongue. “I'll beat you so badly that you and your whore never-”

Before he could even think, the Hellhound had Adams's gloved hand around his skull. As he squeezed the top of the Hellhound's head, the mastiff roared in frustration at somehow being blindsided, and the grip on his face not letting up. 

And then the crowd saw light. 

And then the crowd heard screams.

In a quick blast of light, the crowd bore witness to the horror of what became of the lead Hellhound. 

His fur was burnt a deep black, as if he had crawled out of a furnace. His clothes had turned to ashes, as the visible parts of his skin were a disgustingly shriveled red. His arms and legs hung limply, and he was panting and shakily trying to gain breath, before Adams hand moved to clutch around his maw. 

His left eye was cauterized shut, and his right eye was leaking a mixture of blood and tears. 

“That word…”

The Hellhound bouncers behind him watched in horror as they were rooted in place. Their very instincts commanded them to not even attempt to move. 

The Only Way To Survive Is To Not Gain This Predators Attention

This was the unspoken thought that their instincts were screaming at them. 

Even as they wined in fear. 

Even as their tails curled between their legs. 

Even as they wet themselves and stained their G-strings as their urine mixed with the rainwater below.

They didn't dare move, as it took all their conscious effort just to breathe. 

As the mastiff Hellhound was yanked closer to Adam, the he could only whimper and fearfully stare through the blood and tears, as he saw the mask of not just a predator.

“ Ẅ̷̧̘͙̖̫̣̤̝͇̮̦͎̮̟́̈̒̓ḫ̴̢͐̕â̴̭̋̓͆̽̈́̉̀̂̚͝ṫ̷̨̪̘̫́͐̀́̓́͌͛͝ ̸̧̧͎̻̼̬͓̞̥̮͎̊̏̍̎͐̒́̀̌̉̿͋̈́͜ͅW̷̩̤̊̇̑̌̇̿́͂͛̌͊̔o̵̧̥̣̜̜̩͓̳̺̱̖͙͓͍̫͈̍͒̀͗̾̾̈́͒̆̿̏̃͒r̵̔́̈́̇̏̏d̵̡̛͕͔̹̮̥͓̤̟̼͓̳̠̞̯͋̈́́̊̋́̅́̍͝͠͝ ̶̛̪̥̹̼̗̙̠̩̀͌̎̏́̔͗̀D̸͙̪͛̽͒͐͋̔̽͌̈̆͝ị̷̡̨̨̼̦̤̜͙͕̠͇̣̻̜͗̑͗͆̄̊ͅd̸̛͙̘̏̉͒̄̒̍͒̀͛͊͘̕͝͝ ̶͓̆̌̈́͌̍̾̇̃͑̄̚͝͝Y̸̖̲̥͔̱̰̳̊̌̾͐̈̕ọ̵̢̡̘̳̭̭͎̞͖͚̥̟͈͂͊̿̃͐̊̂̇̈́̽̈̒̕ư̷̧̫̝̻̠̫̹̲̤͖̹̎̐͋̈́͗͛̎̿̉̔̃̀̚͜ ̴̢̡͕̠̩̥̮̹̠̩̰̊̄̂̒͒̑̐͊̔̚ͅͅC̴̲̩͐̊͝ą̶͚̝̥͕͔̝̠̰̺͙̗͍͓̞̩̓̊̇͊͑̊l̸͕̑̄͊͆̎̓̒̅͐͊͠l̸̗̣̺͖̋͝ ̴̛̲͖͚͇͎̳͖͈͓̺̼͉̰͔̦͗̍̓̒̈́͊̑Ḧ̸̰͇͓̝̘͔́̃͗̆̄́̾̄̓͂e̸̡͚͎̙̲̣͎̩̦͍͓̳͉̞͉͐̉͆́̌̒̊͐̇͜r̶͚̬̳̩̳̫̬̯̼̃̓͐̔͠.̷̤̱͒̊̔͗̎̚͠ "

But a Man, who held dominion over the very beasts of creation. 

Main Office, Choke Point

Tek tek tek tek 

“Mmmm. Come to papa”

Tek tek

“Damn these lines are pretty as fuck, ain't they darlings?.....Oh wait, hahaha I'm talking to myself”

Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif

“Argh-aaaAAAAAAAAAAAH YEAH BABY!!!!!! DAY FIVE, AND I STILL FEEL ALIVE!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!” Cheered the Incubi in narcotic ecstasy. 

The Elephant Ivory cut cocaine was absolutely hitting him hard. His pupils had grown so big, that they almost eclipsed his entire yellow eyes. He almost looked like a cannibal sinner with how black his eyes were. “LOOK AT ME NOW MOM!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW!!!!!!” He giggled madly and he shoved the straw he snorted the expensive narcotic with, down his throat with a gulp. 

“Ohhhh yeah. That's gonna feel painful coming out at 2 in the morning” he smiled brightly. He ran both of his fingerless gloves hands through his neon pink Mohawk. His smile revealed his dazzling gem encrusted teeth, reflecting the ceiling light onto his bare shirt from his office chair. 

“Oh man. Oh man man man, this is the best I ever felt since I sucked off that rockstar” he deliriously mumbled before blinking. “Oh wait….no, that was dad who did that. I just made the birthday cake”. 

More unhinged laughter sounded from his mouth that was the symphony to him dusting the cocaine off of his sculpted red chest. “Well, it's time for my daily reach around” he smiled as he stood up from behind his ornate desk. 

Knock knock knock

In a shocking display of skill and seriousness, the Incubi kicked his desk and caused a hidden drawer to open. Whipping out the pink & black revolver inside, he vaulted over the desk and rolled to the door before pressing his back against the space next to the door. 

“Yeeeeeess?” He wondered out loud. “Who is it?”. The singsong voice he had was tempered by the seriousness in which he cocked back the hammer on his sidearm quietly. 

“Mister Jyre Ate?” wondered a feminine voice from the other side of the door. 

“IM ASKING, THAT'S WHO!!!!.....wait, I fucked it up” he muttered in slightly confusion after he jumped the proverbial gun and snapped. “What I meant was, ‘Whos Asking’??”. 

“....Uh, I'm here with your pizza”

Despite the adrenaline in him, he frowned deeply and gripped the door knob in preparation to swing the door open to axe whoever was on the other side. “I didn't order any fucking pizza!!!!!”.

“...........Yes you did”

He opened his mouth to refute, only to pause as his drug-addled brain lagged. “...Wait. Did I?” He muttered. Scratching his forehead with the barrel of his gun, he repeatedly bumped his gun against his conventionally curved horns. “I don't remember….but if the door says I did, then I might have”. 

Seeming content with that logic, Jrye cocked his gun again. “Okay door, I may have ordered a pizza. But how do I know that you're really a pizza delivery deliverer?”. His dilated pupils narrowed in hazy suspicion with his every word. “Did you bring a pizza with no sauce, extra strawberries and cherry lube?”. 

The voice on the other side of the door was quiet, until whispering back and forth could be heard between people. 

Despite this, Jyre was too high to notice. And his eyes were transfixed on the ceiling fan up above. “Holy fuck! I need to get me one of those for my office!” he grinned in amazement……in his own office. “Man, look at it go”.

Finally, the voice returned with equal parts hesitation and softness. “Uh….is that your favorite pizza?”. 

Jyre scoffed at the stupidity of the question, the door posed him. “What kind of question is that??? Of course its my favorite!”.

“Then I totally have a large pizza with no sauce, extra strawberries and cherry lube!”

“Hot damn!!!! Sounds good enough for me!” He grinned as he shoved his gun into the crotch of his purple leather pants. Quickly opening the door, Jyre’s eyes were glued to the pizza box and not the blue & periwinkle woman holding it. 

His eyes raked over it, and he was actively drooling. His drug worsened senses were utterly hypnotized by it's presence.

The wet stains on the cardboard from the puddle it was likely sitting in, before it was brought. 

The bite marks that alley rats had likely given it as they liked all the former grease and cheese clean.

The literal hole in the box that showed no pizza inside, except for a beat up frizbie that had obviously and quickly been shoved inside. 

“Ho-ho! Yum yum, time to cum!” He licked his lips with his split tongue savagely. “How much will that be?”. 

“Well, usually it would be 100 souls” she answered with a smile. “But since you're our 666th customer, we're offering you a special deal! We're charging you 1 Angels Halo, and you get this whoooooole Pizza” she smiled, as literal sparkles somehow formed over the box that she motioned to dramatically. 

This information made Lyre’s eyes light up in joy, as he twitched and jumped up in ecstasy. “1 Halo!!! Ha! I have one of those! Wait here!!!!”. 

Scrambling through his office and tripping twice, he made his way to his padlocked file cabinet. The fit Incubus dug through countless wads of cash, blackmail tapes, and graphic sex toys until he pulled out a glowing white Halo. “Aha!!! There you are, you glowy cock ring!!!!”. Before the delivery girl knew it, he was back over to her with a flap of his tiny wings. “Here! I was just gonna try shoving it up my ass or something. But a pizza is much better!!!!”. 

The exchange was seamless, and the delivery girl smiled joyously as she bowed her head. “~Thank you for your service”. 

He quickly slammed the door closed with his stiletto heeled shoe, and sashayed over to his desk. Humming a tune that nobody else could hear, Lyre mamba’d to his desk in a display of footwork that was impressive…..for someone who had been doing drugs for 5 days straight. 

Sitting on his desk, he opened the musty and soaking wet box, before grabbing the scuffed frisby inside. “Mmmmmmm! Delicy-oso!” He slurred, before sinking his teeth into the plastic. 

Krshh

Krshhh

The sound of grinding plastic filled his office, and was offset by the thumping base through the walls of his office. “Mmmmm. Fucking delicious. It could use a little cocaine, though” he crituqed before ripping more plastic with his teeth. 

His delerium left him all the more ignorant to the object he was eating, the valuable Halo he had lost, and the deep trail of blood that was now pouring from his hidden nostrils.

Adams Mansion, Heaven

8:02 pm

“We did it!!!! We did it we did it we did it we did it!!!!!!!” Emily cheered as she and Adam walked into his home. 

Exhaustion aside, Adam couldn't disagree with her jubilation. “Yup. Took all day, and way too much work. But we fucking got it” he nodded. The First Man put his hands to his back and let out a grunt as a deep cracking was heard along with his sighs of relief. 

“Hey Adam?”. 

“Hm?” Taking his helmet off, he dropped it on the floor, fully intending to deal with it tomorrow. 

“WE DID IT!!!!” She cheered excitedly, as she held up her halo in awed excitement. 

The bright light circle of Heavenly lustor was positively glowing in her grasp. The warmth she had been deprived of since this morning was back, as the ring was accompanied by 5 teardrops surrounding the front, like a tiara. 

Scratching his neck, Adam peered over her shoulder curiously. “I just can't believe your idea worked. I was 100% ready to burst through the wall and rip him to shreds if he caught on”. 

“Hee hee! Well, all it took was faith, joy, and some amazing super acting!”. Emily was beaming and radiant, as she put her hand to her bust with her wings beating happily. 

“.....Him being super high on coke definitely helped though”.

A scoff and a wave was what he received from her, with Emily still planting her hands on her hips proudly. “Details details. Let's not get bogged down on who used their Joyful empathic ability and tons of sparkles where”. With a happy sigh, Emily looked at her Halo with pride. Both in herself and in the two of them-

“Hey Ems…can I see your Halo for a sec?”.

Cocking her head curiosly, Emily turned to Adam with a smile.

A smile that soon fell as she soon saw the confliction on his face. 

Adams hand was out, and his gold eyes were downcast as they avoided looking directly at her. The usual smile on his face wasn't present, and he looked much more tired than even the longest days of work had made him.

She blinked at this sudden change, but nodded all the same. “Um…yeah. Of course, Adam”. 

For some reason, she felt strange handing Adam her Halo. It was as if she was tense and afraid that giving it to him meant something bad. When it left her fingers again, the heat she had just now regained was now a vacuum of coolness on her being once again.

“Heh. You know these Halos are tricky” he chuckled softly for a moment, holding her Halo in his hands. He took off his gloves, and ran his left hand softly over the teardrops. “I asked Sera what they're made of, and even she doesn't know. Yet everyone's got one over their heads, and everyone takes care of theirs”. His hands were calloused, and his usually uniformly toned skin flickered for a moment, as white scars and cuts phased in and out of her view. 

The same scars he had accrued during his life on earth. 

“It's hard to take care of things you need, but don't exactly know why”. The words gained a sigh out from him. His shoulders sagged lower, and even his usually shining wings were now a dull faded yellow. “......I was hurt, when you stood against me in the trial, Emily”. 

Her eyes grew as wide as dinner plates, as they shot up from his now normal hands to his face. 

The fear from this morning had returned ten-fold, just when she thought it was safe to forget about it. 

Her heart pounded in her chest, and her wings grew still as stone. She couldn't even summon any words, and she felt her throat dry up instantly. 

“I…..when you….” he struggled to get out for a moment. “You looked at me like I was something wrong. Like I wasn't someone who worked hard every day, every month, every year to keep Heaven safe. To keep you safe. You looked at me like that, as you stood next to the same daughter of the bastard who took everything from me”. 

Her heart began beating so fast, that she almost couldn't hear what he was saying. Sweat poured down her forehead, as she bit her lip as guilt washed over her. 

The same conflict she felt after the trial was apparent.

Many nights she had laid awake alone, in her own bed instead of next to Adam. 

For hours, she sat unable to sleep as she racked her mind if she had chosen right. 

The Love Of Her Life?

Or Her Life's Purpose?

That conflict was boosted, as she saw Adam put the slightest pressure on her Halo. His fingers gripped the ring tighter, as it began to glow slightly brighter due to this fact. 

She let out a shaky breath, while this deep fear wracked her. A fear she never ever wanted to have to endure. 

A fear that Adam would do something, whether directly or indirectly to harm her. 

Emily loved Adam. 

When they first began dating, she would write poems about him and stick them up in Sera's office; in ways that made even the elder Seraphim smile. 

Adam was her world. 

Yet in this moment, he held the power to ruin her, in his hands. 

“A-adam?”. Her voice wavered, as she tried to choke out the words. She didn't dare step forward. She was too busy trying to keep the thoughts out of her mind. Adam wouldn't do such a thing. Adam couldn't do such a thing.

Not her Adam. 

Not her joy. 

Instead of addressing her obviously concerned state, Adam rolled his shoulders tiredly and continued. “I was mad. I was angry. I…”

Her mind was utterly a mess. She felt as if she would begin leaking tears from her eyes. ‘Adam I'm sorry I'm so sorry! I should never have-’ 

“I was wrong”. 

‘....W-What?’.

Emily's glistening eyes grew wide again, as these words took her off guard. “You…..were w-wrong?”. It was like she was hearing a doppelganger say those words. It was never something she thought she'd hear Adam blatantly say. 

Adam wasn't unapologetic. Whenever they had arguments or he had made a mistake, he had a way of shyly apologizing while still saving face for himself. 

‘I know I fucked up, but don't make me say that I fucked up’

This was the constantly present subtext that was surrounding his apologies. It was an unspoken fact of their relationship, and it wasn't something that bothered Emily. She knew he meant it when he apologized, and he was more than willing to show it in his actions and emotions. 

But this? 

“I was wrong for blaming you, Ems. I was wrong for trying to twist things around to make myself look like the good guy”. Adam let out a shaky breath himself, as he ran a hand through his spiked hair. “And I was wrong for not telling you how hurt I was……and I was wrong for lying about everything”. 

He looked up at her, as his own eyes were now partially glistening with unshed tears. 

He was soft-spoken. 

He was apologetic.

And he was more vulnerable than Emily had ever seen him. 

“I won't apologize for the Exterminations. That's…..that's my business, and it's more personal than anyone knows about” he spoke in a somewhat cold tone. “Even with what everyone knows, only Sera and him know about why things started how they started”. Despite his tone, the lack of emotion wasn't aimed at Emily. Neither was the utter disdain when mentioning the person that even Emily knew he was referencing. 

The sudden changes and conflicting words had left Emily more confused than she had even been at the trial. She didn't know what to think, what to feel, or even what to say as she looked at Adam. Especially when he dropped to one knee-

…

…

...

‘Dropping to one knee?’ she thought, as her confusion reached its peak. 

The rare sight of a shorter Adam was apparent, as he got as low as possible on his knee, so she was standing over him. He softly blew a remaining spec of dust from her Halo, and looked at it as if it was the most precious object in creation. 

“I can't fix the past, Ems. I can't apologize for the Exterminations….But I can help out with your resume”.

Finally gaining the courage to speak, Emily took a step to Adam. She didn't understand what he meant, and she was afraid that she was missing something ominous that he was getting at. “H-help out? Adam, what are you saying?” She asked softly. 

Adam said nothing, as he tucked Emily's halo under his arm.

And promptly took off his own Halo from his head. 

“Well, if you're gonna be helping bad folks turn a new leaf….what better than to have someone like me spoofing your resume?” He said simply, as if it was obvious. Taking his halo which shined in its golden brilliance, he held it to her in an offer. 

And Emily's eyes widened as her hands flew to her gasping mouth. 

“Emily Gaudium” he started; his own voice was shaking with nerves. “Seraphim a-and Joybringer of Heaven. Would y-you do me the honor of redeeming me?”. Adam looked up at her as he held out his Halo as the most genuine offering of honest affection possible. “Will you…be my wife?”.

Any fear, anxiety, and worry was burned away from Emily's heart in a burst of white hot purity. Her hands were shaking as they were held over her quivering mouth, and her eyes began tearing up in earnest. 

“Yes.”

Adam blinked, as if he was shocked to hear the words himself. It was spoken like a soft whisper, yet he heard it as if it was the pounding of a war drum. “Y-yes?”

“Yes Adam!” She smiled as the tears began now pouring freely from her eyes. Her lips were a quivering grin as she crouched slightly and held his arms to try to help him up. “Yes yes yes yes! A million billion times y-yes!!!!!”. 

“Haha!!!!!” Adam whooped as he stood up to his full height in utter amazement. “Yes!!!! You said yes!!! No backsies, babe!!!”. He took Emily's hand in his before he spun her around in the midst of an elated jig. “You said yes!!! You said fucking yes!!!!”. 

Emily's giggles were softly shaken by the joyful tears trickling down her cheeks. Her wings were beating sporadically, and her dress spun along with her. She hiccuped from the crying, but couldn't be bothered to care as she was just as happy as the man of her dreams. “Yes! I said yes yes yes! I said yes!” She giggled just as they came to a stop. 

Now as they faced each other, Adam softly placed his Halo above Emily's head. With a soft glow, it shrunk down to her head size and floated as if it were her own Halo. 

With a gleeful grin, he bent over so Emily could do the same to him. Her Halo grew to his head size, as he now donned the white Halo over his head.

A squeal escaped her mouth, with the exchange of Halos and the pair held each other's hands lovingly.

Finally, they made eye contact again.

Emily saw a man who was willing to break free of the mold he crafted, to protect himself from a world he learned to fear and fight against.

Adam saw a guardian Angel who was willing to help him be better, and to forgive him for being at his worst when she always gave him her best. 

A silent thought was shared between them. The couple bridged what little space remained between them, and took each other in their arms. Emily stood on the tips of her toes, managing to crash her lips against Adams. Her eyes were closed gently, and the tears kept sliding down her grey cheeks, as she barely remembered the worry she felt a minute before. 

Adam bent down as his tongue gently guided herself in a dance of love and promise. Smaller tears slipped out from his own closed eyes while holding her hands softly to his clothed chest. 

A minute passed in this state before they pulled away, only for them to hug one another. 

“I'm so sorry for everything, Emily. You're…you're my Heaven, and I n-never want to lose you” Adam choked out. He buried his face into her shoulder to hide his moment of emotion. His vulnerability had fully come to bear, as he let the dam of emotion that he had built for 10,000 years finally burst. 

Her hands ran through his brown locks, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She nuzzled her cheek against his, softly reassuring him. “Shhh shhh. It's okay, Adam. You're not alone, and you'll never lose me”. She pulled back to look at him, as she wiped some tears from her smeared eyes thanks to her running makeup. “Because you're the moon to my stars” she promised. Her soft gloved hands caressed the side of his face with a softness that Adam had become all the more accustomed to. “I'm lost, without you to light my way”. 

Wiping his tears away himself, Adam chuckled and shook his head. “Psh. Lame” he joked, using a dash of humor to help calm himself. 

“Wha- I am not lame, mister!!!” Emily gasped in mock frustration. “I'm cool! I'm super hip!”. 

“Hm….I don't know. Last time I checked, playing with your socks as puppets while waiting for the laundry to finish isn't ‘hip’.” He smiled teasingly as he took her wrist softly in hers. 

This statement immediately made her blush a bright blue in utter embarrassment. “Y-you were watching me????” She squeaked out. 

Smirking again, he made two simple mouths with his hands and used a high pitched voice. 

”Oh Emmy! I may be the First Man, but you're the coolest!!! You're so awesome and mature! You're like the best and tallest Seraphim out there! And your boobies are just as big as Sera's! Not that I'd ever stare at Sera's when I've got a cutie patootie like you around. We should have a baby-”

“STAWP STAWP STAWP STAAAAWP I NEVER SAID THAAAAAT!!!!” she squealed with a bright blue blush. She shut her eyes tight in embarrassment, and pushed her hands atop his mouth.

“Ahahahaha, you totally did!!!!”. Adam guffawed, as he leaned over and wrapped her in his arms again. His wings and eyes had returned to their brilliant luster while he looked at her with all the care in the world. 

“Hphm. You handsome bully” she pouted. Her arms were crossed, but she couldn't help but nuzzle into his grip. 

“Emily”

The use of her full name made her look up at him. The joking nature just moments ago faded, as she saw him looking at her with pause. 

“I…..I want to make things right.” He promised her. “I may say it a lot, but I'm sure as shit not perfect. And knowing me…I'm probably going to fuck up along the way” he admitted. His cheeks were pink, as he once again was showing a side of himself he wasn't used to. 

Yet once again, she simply pushed these insecurities away gently and shrouded him in her affection. She took his cheeks in her hands and pulled him down towards her. 

Mwah

The soft kiss upon his forehead only served to make him blush further, and he looked up at her with all the willingness to listen. 

“Then I'll be there to catch you, Adam.” Emily smiled at him. Despite her still damp cheeks, and her running mascara, her tears had finally stopped as she looked utterly elated in his presence. “Because you've been the only one to see me as me. Not just as the Joybringer. Not just as the youngest Seraphim. Not just as someone who's a child and too innocent to talk about things around….even if you are grumpy sometimes”. 

They shared another laugh, as their wings beat with the sum total of the joy they felt between themselves. 

Picking Emily up in his arms, her excited squeals made Adam smile more as his wings lovingly wrapped around her. 

“Oh this is amazing!!! I'm gonna be a wife!!!” She cheered, wrapping her arms around Adams neck. “I'm gonna get a wedding dress and I can show off my dance moves and- Oh! I get to ask Sera to be my maid of honor!!! She'll be so happy!!!!!” She rambled on excitedly. 

Adam could only shake his head in amusement, as he carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. ‘She's like an energetic bunny. And I wouldn't trade her for anything. Even my old gig back’ he thought with total affection. 

Things may have taken a downturn for the First Man. 

But he was beginning a new chapter in his life, with the woman who he was ready to start it all with.

“Oh!!! And we can invite Charlie!!!”

“THE FUCK WE WILL!!!”

“But she's my friend, Adam!!!!”

“HER WEIRDOS STABBED ME, AND SHE GOT ME FIRED!!!!!”

“BUT IT'S MY WEDDING!!!!!”

“Wha-I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED EITHER, ALL OF A SUDDEN??? I JUST PROPOSED TO YOU, AND YOU'RE ALREADY GOING ALL BRIDEZILLA ON ME???”

“YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME!!! I WANT A DIVORCE AND CUSTODY OF THE KIDS!!!!”

“THATS IT! NO MORE AFTER-SEX ICE CREAM FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!”

“HEHE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

And as the half-hearted bickering rang out through the house with their laughter, it was clear that they were both ready to start this chapter. 

One page at a time.

Chapter Text

Seraphiel Mater was many things. 

Orderly

It took much skill and precision to do what she did. And naturally being one of the trusted few Seraphim of the Almighty required a certain amount of being methodically oriented.

Intelligent 

Even amongst the many choirs of Angels, her keen intellect was praised and respected. Even her elder brothers sought her advice and guidance at times. While Michael would never care to remember the few occasions, and Metatron would rather die than admit it, her sharpness was valued. 

…Resolute

She held herself to an even higher regard than her subordinates around her. Her devotion to the Almighty was only matched by her willingness to do what was necessary to protect Heaven from foreign and domestic threats. Words such as ‘Sacrilege’, ‘Heresy’ & ‘Blasphemy’ meant nothing to her. 

Heaven…

Her kin, the Angels…

The Winners themselves. 

They are everything to her.

And to preserve their safety, security, and peace of mind, she is willing to seize any manner of heretical advantage.

She is ready to endure any claims of sacrilegious action.

…But that is only a few of the things that describe her. 

The last of which she did her best to keep to herself and a select few. 

But most of all, she was someone who…had to deal with more headaches than was necessary. 

Which was why she found herself standing before a door, in the Sixth Sphere of Heaven. 

It was a simple hallway, in the clerical building of Heavenly management. The halls were a polished white marbel, and the floor was literally golden with an azure blue carpet that was long enough to twist and turn through all the halls. 

The door before her was made of a polished mahogany, and it had a large ‘A’ emblazoned on the doorknob. And upon a golden placard, was the simple name that she had grown all too accustomed to hearing. 

[Adam Yahweh]

{★Head Heavenly Manager★}

Due to the Exterminations being a secret, off the books, clandestine operation that even the other elders of Heaven were kept in the dark about, Adam needed a public title befitting of his atature. 

One that came with a reasonable amount of paperwork, some responsibilities, and an office at which to be visited. 

‘Unfortunately all these things tend to be tossed aside by Adam, who's more occupied with avoiding the paperwork like it's Hansen's disease’ she sighed internally. 

Despite her thoughts of the many many many many many many many many times Adam had avoided work, hidden to get out of meetings, or just outright forgot about deadlines, she was still before his office door…

As she had been for the last half hour. 

Her glowing white crown of a halo sat above her head as it always did, and she had to smooth out her ballroom gown-esque dress for the umpteenth time. Her cedar toned hands were wringing themselves anxiously, and her blue eyes couldn't stop staring at the doorknob, as if she expected it to turn itself. 

Despite everything about Adam that annoyed her:

His crass attitude…

His constant jokes and inability to remain serious…

His constant sexualization of her…

…She still loved him dearly and without question. 

Everything about Adam that made her love him. 

His teasingly crude style…

His naughty jokes and quips that made her have to hide her giggles…

His very….generous descriptions of her body that genuinely made her feel more confident and brighter about herself. 

Ever since she had laid her eyes up on that innocent soul in the Garden, who had asked her if ‘she was a star who had slipped and fallen from the sky’, she had a massive spot in her heart for him. 

…

…

…

But as usual, that came with caveats. Namely, the one that was the reason why she was standing before his office door. 

…..Adam always made a big deal about her Birthdays. 

Amongst the first generation of Angels, birthdays were something that they either celebrated with the most passion and remembrance possible, or barely even noted. 

And there was no in between. 

Michael hardly cared about his, and most times simply requested whetstones and holy oils for his blade, when pressed about what he wanted. 

Jophiel would have a massive party that spanned all of Heaven and select parts of Boston. Countless Angels, Winners, and Fireman would party until they got so drunk that she was always the last one awake, and would take pictures to make a love-themed inspired photo album to embarrass everyone on holidays. 

Azrael…..well, they had to work very hard to revive the last cocky Cherub who decided it would be a good idea to ask the Angel of Death how old she was. 

Considering that the birth of the various Seraphim & Archangels existed outside the Human & Demon calendar, it was a tricky thing to nail down. 

And it was even trickier that Adam never seemed to forget hers. 

While it was always a genuine act that she appreciated, after the two of them had ‘hooked up’ as Adam crudely put it, it became much more….tiresome, with how Adam chose to celebrate it.

And by ‘tiresome’, Sera meant that Adam went out not his way to surprise her in the most bombastic and over the top ways possible.

“Ahhh. What a lovely day” she couldn't help but comment, as the Heavenly sun shined gently upon her.

She was taking one of her most relaxing and beloved ways of relieving stress. 

Feeding the doves, in one of Heaven's most peaceful parks.

Happily sitting on a cushy golden bench, Sera was taking seeds by the handful and carefully sprinkling them before the multi-winged birds of heaven. ‘Not too little, not too much’ she smiled to herself.

The birds had multiple eyes, floating rings, and even additional pairs of wings on their bodies. But they were always peaceful, and they were kind. Even the young Winners would play with them across Heaven.

Sera was content at the peace around her. It was times like this where she felt her hard work paid off. For she could sit back and enjoy the order of Heaven. 

‘How…refreshing. No paperwork, no annoyances, just the wonders of this wonderful place’ she thought in relief. ‘The rich green grasses, the sweet Heaven doves, my name spelled out in the sky-’

…

‘Wait. My name spelled out in the sky????’

Sera blinked as she looked up and saw the skies above Heaven. Usually they were a soothing mix of colors and tones meant to bring comfort to Winners and Angels alike. But currently, it had a boldly obvious phrase being written in golden cloud trails. 

{HAPPY★ BITCHING★BIRTHDAY★SERA!}

And as she saw the clouds being tapered off by a certain Angel with golden wings, she could only facepalm hard. 

“....Adam” she grumbled, her face heating up. A blue blush formed on her cheeks, as even the lights on her halo grew dim from annoyance. 

And as numerous other Angels, Cherubs and Winners looked up at the sky in confusion, she wanted to crawl into the cloudy grown below and hide herself away. “This….can't possibly get any worse” she muttered, just as more golden clouds were being written in the sky. 

{HEAD T★NIGHT???}

“ADAM!!!!!!” She shrieked, rising off the bench as her partial Seraphim form grew into being, sending the other park goers away in hesitant fear.

“-I gotta say Serre, you seem really tense lately”.

Sera rolled her tired eyes, as she ignored the jab at her expense. It may have seemed like words of concern…if it was coming from anyone else. “Thank you for your superficial concern, Jophiel” she sighed as they made their way down the halls of the 3rd Sphere. 

The two of them moved as elegantly as Seraphim should, as their towering heights made them absolutely imposing to all around them. 

…Although there was a time where the looks of adoration and lovesick infatuation the Angel of Love received had frustrated Sera deep down. Not that she would give Jophiel the satisfaction of admitting it. 

But it couldn't be helped. Sera did love her winged sister, as much as she loved all her angelic kin.

…Although the fact that Jophiel knew how much the purposeful swaying of her hips made Sera grit her teeth was an entirely new headache. 

A light giggle filled the air between them as they kept walking. “I'm serious, Serre. I promise I'm not trying to poke fun at you this time” she reassured. 

“You'll have to forgive me if I'm reluctant to believe you” Sera deadpanned. Even as her eyes were tired, she couldn't help but glance at Jophiel’s dark blue lips, which were lit up by her glowing sky blue markings. 

A raspberry sound was heard in response, and Sera did her best to ignore the playful pinch she received on her wings. 

“Oh c'mon, Serre! I'm serious. You look like you could use a break.” Jophiel insisted jovially, as the pair stopped at an office door with Sera’s name on it. She placed her hand on Sera’s shoulder, as her amused expression was now lined with slight worry. “Seraphiel…” she started, which gave Sera pause. 

‘Great. She must be serious if she's using my full name’ Sera sighed internally. 

“You know I love you”. The words flowed out like buttered silk, as Jophiel's pink eyelashes batted with genuine care. “I love everyone who finds themselves worthy to give and receive love. But you know that I love you especially”. Her pink hair moved slightly as it always did, which contrasted perfectly with her dark blue skin. 

Her glowing baby blue markings glowed as she caressed Sera’s cheek with a gloved hand. “You gotta stop running yourself ragged.” She chuckled, as she gave a playful wink. “Remember, you're not the only beautiful Angel in Heaven”. 

Despite the banter, Sera knew Jophiel was right. She sighed and pressed a hand to her own forehead. 'She's….she's right. I need to step back from my work and figure things out with the situation of trying to prevent another uprising in Hell’. Giving a nod, Sera gave Jophiel a small smile. “Thank you, Jophiel. You're right. I've been throwing myself too deeply into my work”. 

Sera felt a small ache in her heart, at having to disguise her task as simple office work, especially from people close to her like Jophiel. But she focused on Jophiel's grin as the taller white garbed Angel placed her hands on her form fitting dress. 

“Of course, Serre. Now you can thank me by coming with me and the other girls for drinks. Immediately” she smiled, leaving no room for argument. 

Knowing that her sister was one of the most driven forces in all of Heaven when it came to relaxing after work….and even when she should be at work, Serre simply rolled her eyes and nodded. “Fine. Let me get my purse from my office first”. 

An excited squeal left Jophiel's lips, as the neatly tucked wings on her head flared out for a moment. The line of blue eyes sitting on the wings reflected her own enjoyment as she proudly put her hands on Sera’s shoulders. “Now you're speaking my language! Let's get your purse, and then get our drink on!”. 

Sera just barely had enough time to unlock the door, before she was gently escorted into her office by Jophiel's hands. 

She turned the light on and saw-

“Hey Babe! I was wondering when you'd come around!”

…..Adam utterly naked, with a crown of blue hydrangeas on his head, and a white chocolate fruit bouquet covering his crotch. He was lying on his side on her desk, with his head propped up by his arm as the bouquet was sitting in front of the view of his cock. 

“I was starting to think you weren't coming by on your own Birthday! And I already warmed up….the……….lube” Adam trailed off, as he realized that Sera was not alone. Sera’s eyes were wide.

Jophiel’s mouth was open. 

Adams' face was turning shades of red and pink that would impress a succubus. 

Nobody spoke.

“....Uh….Y-you didn't say you were bringing a friend, soft serve” Adam chuckled awkwardly, as he tugged at a collar that wasn't there. 

…

…

“PFFFFFFT!!!!!!!”

All of the weight that Jophiel's words had previously relieved her of had now come back tenfold, as the Angel of Love’s guffawing laughter was like an icepick to her pride. 

All the while, Adam sitting up awkwardly trying to hide his nudity with both his wings and the bouquet was filling her embarrassment that could rival the heat of the sun. 

“O-OH BY FATHERS GRACE THIS IS RIIIICH!!!!!!” Jophiel cackled as she held her stomach. She was pulling in air like she was suffocating, as Sera was absolutely rigid in place and clutching her fist. 

“Fuck. I'm so fucked” Adam muttered awkwardly under his breath, as he did his best avoid Sera’s glare. 

Which was hard considering that several of the eyes on her wings were boring into him without blinking. 

Finally regaining her composure after a full minute of laughing, Jophiel grinned mischievously as she propped her bust up with her arm. “~My oh my, Adam. I knew you were a prime specimen of man. But to think that you had aged like the finest of wine from Eden grapes”. She licked her lips simply, before she gently bit the knuckle of her index finger, as her blue eyes were glued to the quivering bouquet in Adams hands.

Adam was sweating nervously. 

He didn't dare move. 

He didn't dare look up. 

He didn't dare meet Sera’s gaze, as she was inches from him and looming over him, as all her eyes were trained in his crotch, and her mouth was in a flat line as if she was daring him to be aroused by Jophiel's words.

Crunch!

The last of Sera’s chips were gone and eaten. She had a good day, all things considered. Emily was acclimating well to her duties. She was as joyful as a newborn puppy, and she was absolutely beloved amongst the Angels and Winners. 

She was nervous, as was natural for a newly created Seraphim. Bmut her confidence was growing under Sera’s encouragement. The sight made Sera’s heart warm. “That girl….she's everything that's right about Heaven” she smiled to herself, as she stood up from the table in the break room. “I'll do everything I can, to make sure she doesn't share Lucifer's fate” she spoke resolutely to herself. 

Taking the empty chip bag, she walked to the trash can and opened it up to throw it away-

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY SER-!!!!”

“AH!!!”

BAM!!!

Splat!

…

Her eyes were wide. 

Adam was slumped over the lid to the trashcan, with a cracked helm and a smoking indent the size of her fist, under his eye. 

A white birthday cake was smeared on the floor of the break room, along with a tiny candy version of herself and Adam. 

Adam was stone cold unconscious. 

“....Shit”

Yes, Adam was a very deliberate and surprisingly dedicated planner. 

He went out of his way to plan out surprise parties for people, and only those who ranked high enough or intimidated him were spared. 

For countless years she had to put up with his shenanigans and such, regarding her birthday. While it didn't take away from her love for him by any means, it was….stressful. 

So for this year, she was ready to get ahead of the curve. 

In the Heavenly calendar, there were days called ‘Halul Days’.

These were the days spread out through the year that specified the days of the original Angels birth. 

Before the creation of earth. 

Before the heavens. 

But before light separated from dark on the first Day. 

Each of the first generation of Angels was created in individual attoseconds, right after the other. 

A Billionth of a Billionth of a second. 

Immediately after being created, each of them would view the creation of the Angels after them, and such was the hierarchical order of them as siblings. 

While it wasn't known who was the eldest of the Almighty's children, it was well known amongst them who was older and who was younger. 

Michael, Uriel, Azrael & Zadikel were her seniors. 

Jophiel, Metatron, Camuel & Emily were her juniors. 

The Haul Days existed outside of conventional time, and calendars. But by the time Winners had begun to come to Heaven, the first generation were encouraged by the Almighty to pick at least one day during the year to call their birthday, to help subtly bring the former human souls comfort. 

And since they had become romantically involved together, Adam had without hesitation gone to ridiculous lengths to celebrate her birthday against her will. 

But this time however, she was ready! She had planned out the day where she'd be 1 week from her birthday, so as to approach Adam and try to get ahead of the curve. 

“If such a thing is even possible” she muttered to herself before sighing. Raising her hand up, she knocked on the door simply. 

“Hm? Oh, come in. If you're the delivery guy, just leave the skin mags and pork rinds by the door”.

Ignoring that comment, Sera opened the door to find none other than Adam sitting at his desk, helmet free. 

…And surprisingly, he was doing his own paperwork?

‘Oh, he must be planning something absolutely horrifying,’ she thought anxiously. She was half tempted to go down to Hell and see if Lucifer's kingdom was receiving oncoming cold fronts. 

Looking up, Adams eyes lit up in recognition. “Sera! Babe!” He grinned brightly as his golden eyes looked her up and down. “What's a 10 like you, doing in a 4 like this?” He chuckled, as he signed the next paper in front of him. 

Sera blinked owlishly, and cleared her throat to try and compose herself. “Um, yes. I just was wandering by and- I'm sorry. Are you actually doing your own paperwork?”. She couldn't help but get sidetracked. The sight was just so rare. Nigh, impossible. 

Adam had a history of foisting all his paperwork onto his Lieutenant, who was well known to be tough as nails. 

She had to deal with many arguments and violent fallout of Adams' irresponsibleness, and there were countless times that Adam and his lieutenant were in her office for the chaos that resulted. 

“Hm? Oh yeah. Turns out this whole paperwork gist isn't so bad after all!” Adam smiled, as he grabbed a nearby golden stamp. “After Dangertits told me she was done picking up my slack, I figured that I might as well pull my own weight” he shrugged. 

He put pressure on the stamp that was sitting in the ink pad. “I hit up Einstein, and he explained it out that paperwork isn't just for nerds after all”. Pulling the stamp back up, he stamped several places properly, and blew on the pages to dry the ink. “Did you know that they use paperwork to deal with all the pranks I pull? Apparently I'm what's called a ‘Mandatory Active Aggressive Liability’. Who knew?” He wondered casually, before grabbing a new form. 

‘......I genuinely cannot believe that I am attracted to this man, and have laid in his arms in the wee hours of the early morning’. Shaking free from the shock of Adam strangely understanding paperwork, she focused on her mission. 

“Ahem. Adam-”

“Listening” he quipped while chewing on one of his pencils.

“....I've come here to talk about your…dramatic ways of celebrating my birthdays”. Taking a moment to steady herself, she looked at him with confidence in her blue eyes. “I've about had it to here with-”

“Oh right. I should've mentioned this before. I'm not making a big deal of it this year”. 

The wind immediately was yanked from under Sera’s wings, as she had to force herself to stay still and not fall forward. She coughed and raised a hand to her mouth as she struggled with her breathing. “I-Im sorry. You're…not making a big deal of it?” She repeated. 

Adam nodded, as he leaned back and put his feet on the desk. “Yeah. I had a good run. I tried to be romantic and surprising, but I kind of fucked it up”. He looked under his nails casually before he picked his teeth with his pinkie nail. “Remember when you decked me in the face?”. 

“I try my best not to” she deadpanned, even as her hand began to twitch at the memory. 

Adam shivered. “I remember it. Alot…..Anyways, I can take a hint. I may not be some smooth talking bastard, but even I know when to throw in the towel”. He shrugged, before he licked a stamp with Jesus’s face on it, before putting it on a manilla envelope.

Once again, Sera was just left surprised. Her mouth was open, and she had to close it just to keep from being seen as utterly taken off guard. 

Which she was, in all fairness. 

“A-ahem. Well….thank you, then” she managed to recover, as she coughed awkwardly into her fist. “I appreciate you understanding my position”. 

She received a grin in turn from Adam, who nodded, as he began shoving papers haphazardly into the envelope. “Heh. No problem, babe. So, do you wanna go out tonight? Maybe do the macarena and get some macaroni?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“No, I'm afraid I have…plans”. A deep amount of suspicion was filling her at this time. ‘Is this a potential set up? A plan to get me….surprised by naked dancing with even more naked macaroni?’ she wondered, as her mind racked for a potential surprise angle. 

Despite her reservations, Adams' response was accepting as he nodded. “Aw damn. Fair enough. I'll just drag Peter and Jesus along. Peters is a little shy on the dance floor unless his wife's around. But get him dancing, and next thing you know, everyone's joining in” he chuckled. 

Sera isn't exactly sure when she left the office, but she did. 

What she was sure, was that Adam was planning something. 

She gracefully marched back down the halls with purpose, as her face hardened in determination. “I won't fall for these schemes again. Whatever it is he has in mind, I'm going to spring it first!”. 

With that said, she disappeared behind the corner with the perfect plan in mind.

*7 Days Till Sera's Birthday*

Following Adam in an attempt to find his plans would be pointless. This, Sera knew for sure. 

When Adam wanted to disappear, he disappeared. 

The countless times where he had avoided her wrath after getting in trouble, was evidence of that. 

So Sera's approach to discovering what Adam intended to blindside her with for her birthday was nuanced and graceful. Much like herself. 

If she couldn't expose the source, she would wring the information from any possible conspirators. 

So with that said, she planned to approach everyone that Adam could possibly talk to and plan out a birthday surprise for her, with. 

*6 Days Till Sera's Birthday*

“Hm? A birthday party?”

The clouds at the front gates were the most peaceful in all of Heaven. As they usually were, thanks to the weather-based magic ingrained to purposely make the entrance of new souls feel put at ease.

And as such, the same could be said for the man who was always ready and happy to greet those same souls. 

“Yes, have you heard anything from Adam about the subject?” Sera wondered hopefully. “Anything you can tell me would be appreciated, Simon”. 

Shimon Bar Yonah, also known by most in Heaven and earth as St Peter, was one of the apostles, and a well venerated Saint. Everyone had seen the kindly Saint at least once in their afterlifetime, and he was as amicable as they come. Not only that but he was a close confidant of Sera. 

Short of the Exterminations themselves, they spent a lot of their off time discussing numerous subjects, having tea, or even just simply catching up with one another.  

“Hm” Peter vocalized, as he stroked the chin on his pale face. His eyebrows furrowed and he seemed to be genuinely racking his memory. “Sorry Sera, I can't say that I have” he shrugged softly, as he offered an apologetic smile. 

Her shoulders sagged slightly, as she hoped that Peter would be the one to help her break this case open. “Are you sure?”. 

Once again, an apologetic smile graced Peter's face, as he awkwardly leaned on his podium for support. “I’m sure. Believe me when I say I understand how…stressful it's been for you to deal with Adams birthday surprises”. 

The awkward smile on Peter's face only made her shoulders sag further. She had ranted many times to Peter, about the stress and frustration she's had to endure.

In hindsight, there were times where she had gotten so heated with her ranting, he could only silently drink tea as he was unable to get a single word in. 

A sigh left her lips, as she massaged her brow. “I see”. 

Righting himself carefully as he stood up, he carefully walked over to Sera and stood on his toes to put a hand on her shoulder. “Don't worry Sera. I know Adams over the top, most of the time. But I'm sure he's being genuine. He hasn't lied to you once since you guys got together, has he?” He smiled comfortingly before dropping down to his feet and waving his arms carefully to balance. 

That was more true than Sera wanted to let on. Aside from the regular shenanigans that Adam brought on, he didn't ever lie to her since they had gotten together. 

From when she asked him how her outfits looked, he found ways to blend the truth with a comforting perspective to give her confidence or relief in her appearance. 

To when he admitted as to whether he had accomplished the tasks she asked of him to carry out previously.

Of this, Sera knew Peter was right. ‘Damn. No luck in this regard’ she thought solemnly as she smoothed out her dress. “Thank you, Simon”. She bowed her head in thanks, despite not getting any information to assist in her current mission. 

“Of course, Sera! Always happy to help” Peter smiled, as he took care to not lean forward too much.

Sera was about to turn back to the gates of Heaven, but paused for a moment. She turned back to face Peter, as her eyebrow was raised up in genuine confusion. “Simon? Why are you wearing a back brace?”. 

Now it was Peter's turn to slump depressingly…despite being unable to because of the cream pink and blue back brace that was covering his usual Heavenly robe. “Is it that noticeable?” He chuckled awkwardly. His hand rose and scratched the back of his golden blonde hair, as a soft blush graced his features. “The other night Adam took me, Jesus and Ava out dancing at one of the discotect’s”. 

Sera blinked owlishly at this information. ‘I didn't think he was serious at that'. “And you….slipped and fell?”. 

A wince was pulled tight on Peter's face, as he shyly touched his fingertips together. “I was being cheered on as I was leading everyone in doing the Macarena. Ava tried to warn me to take it easy but…I got cocky and tried to do a backflip”. 

Such a descriptive thought made Sera’s eyes widen, and her hand rise to her mouth to stifle a giggle. Considering Peter’s very low tolerance for pain, Sera could only imagine how the scene acted out. 

All the more reason she was struggling to hide her giggling. 

“I can imagine that Ava wasn't too pleased by you hurting yourself, Simon,” she smiled as she placed a hand on his shoulder. 

A solemn and bashful nod was returned to her as Peter was bashfully sighing in agreement. “Y-yeah. She wouldn't let the healers use any magic on me at the hospital, and told me that I was going to have to heal the normal way so I learned my lesson”. 

This time, the giggle left Sera's mouth openly. She carefully wrapped her arms around Peter affectionately, as she released a kiss to his forehead. “Having a wife who loves you so dearly, isn't the worst thing in the world Simon”. 

Her words caused him to brighten up, and soon they were laughing together despite the minor aches in Peter's back. 

After bidding him goodbye, Sera took flight and returned to Heaven proper as she easily was allowed passage over the mystical barrier above the golden gates. 

‘Hm. I suppose there are others I can try prying for information’

Yet even as she flew, her mind couldn't help but absentmindedly and think about her conversation with Peter. 

‘A partner who cares to such a degree…’

*4 Days Till Sera's Birthday*

Sera entered through the indoor zoo, easily-

“Haha!!! This place is so cool!”

“Sugoidesu ne!”

“Mwen renmen l!”

Quickly stepping aside, she watched as 3 adolescent Winners breezed by her excitedly. Her shock was replaced by warmth as she took in the sight of the young children of all races, creeds and ethnicities.

While them arriving at such a young age was tragic, it was warming to see that they weren't allowing simple things such as race or origin to divide them. 

‘It's the very thing that I fight for, every day’ Sera smiled as she continued to the glowing Heavenly zoo. 

As she continued, she saw numerous people and even families together, as they were petting animals of all types. 

Elephants with silver skin and gold tusks, that children happily rode on the backs of. 

Ivory white whales that flew in the air, and that families happily tossed fish to.

Even usually predatory animals such as lions, would be docile and laying on the ground, as people could pet them or even just rest against them. 

It was a place where animal lovers could find peace, and the animals were taken care of with nothing but express care and love. The animals weren't even locked behind enclosures or caged, as they felt no predatory instincts. 

Heaven's natural aura brought them a similar peace that Eden did, and they interacted kindly and lovingly with the winners and humans they greeted and took care of them. 

The warmness of it all almost distracted Sera from her intended course. Luckily, she was nothing if not driven. 

“You're soooo cute!!!!!”

And hearing the energetic and emotionally charged voice a ways away, let her know she had come to the right place. 

Opening the gate to the horse enclosure, Sera couldn't help but smile at the sight of Emily kneeling down amongst the hay on the ground, as she was with her favorite mini-horse. 

Emily, unlike her usual Seraphim garb, was dressed in a very appropriate garb for engaging with animals. She wore a baby blue pair of overalls, with a purple flannel shirt underneath. She even had a pair of white boots on that complimented her halo up on her head. Her periwinkle hair was in a ponytail, which allowed more of her grey skin to be seen on her face. 

And it was here that she was grinning proudly as she was running her hand through the horse’s mane. 

“So so so cute!” Emily squealed, as she pulled out a carrot with beige gloved hands. She waved it in front of the mini-horse, as she hopefully smiled. “Do you want another carrot Mr Butterscotch?”.

The aforementioned Mr Butterscotch was a mini-horse with a bronze colored coat. He had a golden colored mane & tail, with a pink bow on his head. While he looked rather unenthusiastic from his place standing before Emily and barely moving his tail, his half lidden eyes were filled with appreciation as he lumbered closer to her before taking the carrot in his teeth. 

“Yay!!!!! You're such a good boy, Mr Butterscotch!” she cheered happily, clapping her hands. She leaned over and hugged his broad neck, with love and affection on her face. “You just looove carrots don't you? You're the best and most handsome horse in all of Heaven, aren't you! Who cares that Butterscotch is usually a Mares name? You're the best!”. 

The sight of Emily being the epitome of her title as ‘The Joy Bringer’ made Sera so proud in so many ways that she couldn't even begin to vocalize. “I for one, think that Butterscotch is a very fitting name for a stallion”. Sera smiled, as she came to a stop several feet from the pair. 

A gasp left Emily's mouth, as she looked up at Sera with nothing but adoration and surprise. “Sera!!! You're here!!!”. Immediately, Emily threw her legs over Butterscotch, and promptly patted his side eagerly. “Onward my noble steed!” She proclaimed proudly. “To Sera!!!!!”.

…

…

After several seconds, Butterscotch ambled slowly towards the taller Seraphim. At his own pace, he wandered over with Emily on his back. Despite the almost comically slow speed and plain disposition. 

The sight was especially comical, considering that Emily was just as ostentatious about it all. Despite the slowness, she still had her hand pointed forward dramatically, with an overwhelmingly positive grin on her face. 

Combine all these things together, and Sera couldn't help but cover her giggling mouth. ‘Even without trying, Emily truly is her namesake’. 

Finally making it over, Butterscotch halted and Emily dismounted. 

“Sera!” She cheered as she wrapped her arms around her older sister's body. Her eyes were filled with as many sparkles as there were stars in the sky.

“Hello Emily. I'm glad to see you and Butterscotch are doing so well today”. Sera hugged her back just as warmly, as she patted Emily's head. 

A soft giggle came from the younger Seraphim's who nodded. “Yup! I had some free time today, so I wanted to come visit Mr Butterscotch!”. 

Sera shook her head with a smile, as she watched the smaller Angel return to kneeling down before the horse. “Ah, of course. I just hope you haven't given him too many sugar cubes again. We don't want him getting sick like last time”. Bending over, she grabbed a brush with Butterscotch's name on it before extending it to Emily. 

“Hphm! It was just the one time!” Emily cutely pouted. But her gripe was soon forgotten as she happily took the brush from Sera. “So, did you come to help me try to teach Butterscotch any tricks Sera?”. 

“Actually I just wanted to see how you were doing, Emily” she evaded simply. 

Emily was the most guiless person out of her suspects to get information out of. While Sera had nothing but care and love for her pupil & sister, the girl couldn't keep a secret worth anything. 

She hiccuped when she lied. 

She blurted out what she was trying to hide when asked on certain subjects.  

She would often yell the word ‘Distraction’, in the middle of being asked about something, due to her failing internal monologue under the pressure. 

But as a result, Emily was heavily self conscious about her lacking ability to keep secrets. 

So the last thing she needed was to cause Emily to break down and cry, just to gain the information she wanted. 

No. This would take finesse, nuance and grace. 

“Me? I'm doing great!” Emily smiled, as she took care to brush Butterscotch's mane. “I finished all my paperwork, the Winners in my arts and craft class all managed to make their baskets, and I found a Heaven penny when I was doing my laundry!”. 

The sheer amount of jubilance in Emily's words almost distracted Sera from her goal. Yet even still, she clasped her hands in her lap and took a seat on a nearby crate of horseshoes. “Oh? Well that's good luck. I bet Adam would have something funny to say about finding a penny and being lucky” she spoke carefully, as she waited to watch Emily's reaction. 

Instead of freezing up, blinking carefully, or sputtering, Emily simply smiled back as she patted Butterscotch's side. “That's so true! I bet he’d make a song out of it”. 

Lips pursuing due to the lack of noticeable reaction, Sera tried another attempt. “Im glad to hear that you've been doing well. It's always good whenever you can avoid any kind of surprises springing up out of nowhere”. The emphasis on ‘surprise’ was obvious, and she waited to see if the trap would be sprung. 

“Hm…”. Setting the brush down, Emily raised a hand to her chin as she was in thought. “Well, that's kinda true. But surprises can be good sometimes, right?”. 

Sera was unprepared for the minor philosophical venture, and the continued lack of reaction from Emily. “...They can?”.

“Mhmm!!” she nodded with a bright grin. She grabbed a lint roller next to her, and began using it to clean the stray hay and lint covering Butterscotch’s comically small wings. “Some surprises may seem scary, but then they're actually great. Like with you and Adam”. 

Now this was a genuine surprise to her. She had expected Emily to have some knowledge of a hair brained scheme Adam had told her about. But instead, she was being given her own relationship with Adam as an example. 

Needless to say, she was taken off guard.

“I……me and Adam?” she could only dumbly parrot. 

“Remember when Adam first said he wanted to be with you?” She wondered as her smile grew brighter. “It was so sweet! He was blushing, and you were blushing, and he had a guitar, and he came riding in on Mr Butterscotch! It was the cutest thing ever!” she squealed. Once again, she wrapped her arms around Butterscotch’s neck, and this time the mini horse let out a small whinnie as he nuzzled against her. 

Now, a blue blush was present across Sera’s face. She had not expected to walk down memory lane…

But Emily was right. 

That day was one of the few that was etched in her eidetic memory. Of all the moments that she had extremely positive and horribly negative memories of, that moment was one that she kept especially close to her heart. 

The genuineness of Adams' approach. 

The vulnerability he was showcasing. 

The cheesy song and the box of chocolates he brought in his shaking nervous hands. 

“Do….do you really think so?” She couldn't help but ask softly. 

In return, she received a smile that showcased the true joy in Emily’s being. “Yup! I bet it must have been kinda scary for you and Adam to confess your feelings. But now look at you both. You're happy together, you love everyone, and Adam never even forgets to celebrate your birthday”. She put the lint roller back on a shelf, before she grabbed a baby blue ribbon from her pocket. 

As Emily worked to put the finishing touches on Butterscotch's look, Sera felt a strange sensation.

As she looked down at her hands, she couldn't help but see a phantom pair holding her own. 

It was the pair she had seen countless times before. 

A weathered pair that had faded scars and scratches. 

A pair that she had first seen on the sixth day-

Shaking the memory from her head, she stood up and flexed her hands. Looking and seeing another carrot on the ground, she smiled as she grabbed it and brushed it off. Making her way over, she offered the carrot to Mr Butterscotch, and patted his head as the mini-horse once again happily partook. 

“Thank you for your time, Emily. You've given me a lot to think about. You and Mr Butterscotch”. 

As Sera departed, Emily waved excitedly as Butterscotch swished his tail. “Bye Sera!”. 

Brushing the stray dust and hay off her overalls, Emily grabbed a saddle and placed it on Mr Butterscotch. After it was secured, she mounted him as she held the reins atop her sluggish yet willing steed. “Onward, Mr Butterscotch! To the frozen yogurt shop!!!!!”.

*2 Days Till Sera's Birthday*

Sera had been rather frustrated at being unable to find the information she was looking for. She had…hit a limit of sorts. 

Despite never wishing to admit it, she had a rather compulsive need for order amidst the chaos that was existence. 

To find answers to the questions that she faced day in and day out. 

To make sure that things were gathered, and put into neat little boxes and orderly lines. 

And Adam surprising her in a ways that either shocked her, embarrassed her, or frustrated her was as chaotic as it got. 

She knew that his heart was in the right place, but sometimes it just became something she often stressed over. 

With that in mind, she had exhausted nearly all her other efforts to try to gain any insight as her birthday drew nearer. 

She'd even gone as far as to requisition the recent orders from all of the party supply stores, bakeries, gift stores and even the hobby shops in Heaven, to see if Adams name was on any of the receipts.

It had taken her several days of searching, only to yield no results. All she had to show for it was mounting frustration and a lack of sleep due to what the average individual would call, ‘an obsession’. 

With the first 2 options having bore no fruit, Sera had decided to choose the path that would yield more results. 

While Peter & Emily wouldn't have a reason to lie to her, the next person she approached was unable to lie to her. 

So with that said, she was wholly confident that-

“Lady Sera, I can say with full honesty that Adam hasn't told me of any plans regarding your birthday”. 

…

There's a human saying about best laid plans, but Sera would be damned if her exhausted mind could remember it. 

She tiredly blinked at Lute, as they sat across from one another in Sera’s office. 

Sera, who had been struggling to try to expose whatever alleged plan Adam had to surprise her, stared plainly at Lute from behind her desk. 

Lute, who was holding her Exorcist helm in her lap, matched Sera's expression as she was equally emotionless. 

Thunk!

And Sera promptly dropped her head on her desk. 

The silence between them was thicker than Adam's heavenmade chili, and the only sound to be heard was the gentle air conditioning of Sera’s office. 

Regardless, Lute simply blinked as she set her helm on the desk before crossing her legs. “I'm guessing it's that time of year again?”.

It was more of a statement than a question, but Sera couldn't help but nod…..despite her face still being planted against her desk. 

An annoyed sigh left Lute, as she nodded in turn. “Figures. Leave it to Adam, to make people actually dread their birthdays”. 

Rising up, Sera rubbed her temples tiredly. The exhaustion on her face was present, and even Lute couldn't help but raise her eyebrows. 

Sera was usually calm, composed, and collected. Even when chastising Adam for something or another he had roped Lute into, she kept her aura of authority. 

But now….she seemed utterly worn out. 

“I can see why you'd be so determined on this, but believe me when I say I haven't heard anything from Adam on this” Lute offered, to hopefully soothe Sera. “Trust me. The last thing I want to have to deal with is another stupid plan that's obviously going to screw up”. 

Lute sighed, as she ran a hand through her bob. “Every one of his schemes every year ends the same. Poorly. But does he listen to me? Of course not”. Rolling her eyes, Lute cleared her throat as she took on a sneer and her voice took on a rough masculine tone. 

“Hey Dangertits! Check out my new plan to surprise Sera! We just need a salmon, a bear trap, and a bucket of condoms! Bitching!”

“Hey Dangertits, I've got the best plan! This time it'll work! Just make sure to aim the T-shirt cannon right!” 

“Dangertits- wait! Don't go! I promise that this plan will work! All I have to do is hide in the trashcan, and she'll be totally surprised!!!!”

After the various impressions, she rubbed her neck tiredly. “It's almost admirable in a way. His dedication to trying to celebrate your birthday, I mean” she couldn't help but say. 

These words caused Sera to look up from the desk, with curious amounts of tiredness as Lute continued on. 

“As annoying as being roped into his schemes are, it's almost…..impressive with how much effort he puts into it”. Lute's expression softened as she continued to recount. She looked off to the side as she remembered several specific memories. “You should see the way he gets excited, whenever he comes to me with an armful of props and plans he drew on posters”. 

“Alright Dagertits! Sera goes to yoga at 3pm on Thursdays, so we've got 2 hours to get the plan into action!”

“New plan this year, Dangertits! We're gonna wrangle some peacocks for ‘Operation Birthday Bird Bash!!!!’. These pretty fuckers are Sera’s favorite bird, so we need to grab as many as possible from the Heavens Zoo!!”

“Dangertits! Wake up! I know it's 2 am, but this plan I came up with is fucking great!!! I'm gonna sing Sera a fucking great rock song, using her favorite poetry lines as lyrics! We gotta get up bright and early! So put your pants on!!!!”

The more Lute spoke, the more Sera paid attention. Her exhaustion and stress was put temporarily in the back of her mind, as she was hanging onto every one of Lute's words. 

Meanwhile, Lute cracked her neck with a soft grunt. The small and dull popping accentuated her impression of Adam. “It's ironic really. If Adam put as much effort into doing paperwork as he did trying to celebrate your birthday, he could single handedly make Heaven run like a giant well oiled machine”. 

Despite Lute speaking, Sera wasn't listening. Her mind was steadily absorbing Lute's descriptions of Adam's words. 

For so long, she had only seen the inconvenience that Adams actions had brought to her, in regards to her birthday. 

She hadn't ever considered how much thought he put into it. 

His attention to detail on her habits and preferences. 

The lengths he would go to, just to try and give her a birthday worth remembering. 

As she was utterly exhausted, her brain finally began to feel a trait she had never considered herself capable of feeling. 

...Doubt. 

“Lady Sera?”

Lute's voice cut through her thought process, as she blinked. “Hm?” O-oh? Yes lieutenant?”. 

It was obvious that Lute had picked up on Sera's rather…unkempt state, both mental and physical. But luckily, she had the tact not to call Sera out on it. Her yellow eyes looked Sera up and down, but her face gave no emotional reaction to it. “Is there anything else you need?”. 

Lute's straightforwardness was a calming balm to Sera. It allowed her to do her best to spruce herself up, as much as the moment allowed. She straightened her back, crossed her hands in front of her, and nodded. “Ahem. No. Thank you, Lieutenant. You're dismissed”. 

She stood with a start, holding her helmet under her arm as she nodded at Sera. “If it makes you feel better Lady Sera, you'll be the first one I come to should Adam come up with another braindead idea”. 

As Lute turned on her heels and left the office, the Seraphim could only rest her head in her arms. Another breath left her, as the previous exhaustion was replaced by a rather empty feeling. 

Confusion. 

“I….I am at a loss”. 

The words that she never thought that she'd speak. 

Sera did her best to avoid being prideful. 

After Lucifer's rebellion and fall, it was a trait that all the Seraphim worked their hardest to avoid. 

So when Sera had practically driven herself to exhaustion over the course of several days, trying to seek out some sort of hidden conspiracy regarding Adam, it definitely gave her a blow to her…pride. 

Sera was tired. 

Sera was frustrated. 

And Sera….was being poked by something?

Looking up from her arms, Sera was greeted by the sight of a winged piece of parchment. It was a glowing pink scroll, with white wings and a dark blue wax seal on it. 

It was none other than a Feather-gram. It was one of Metatron's creations. While Heaven was up to date with instant messaging to be able to communicate, there was still the need for more private and classified methods of transporting information. 

Such was the Feather-Gram. 

It was a very simple creation of Heavenly magic. 

You would inscribe the information you wished to. Whether it be written information, a magical hologram, or even an actual conversation. 

Then you would bind it with your own magic, creating a binding seal that would prevent anyone but the intended target from opening it. Once it was received, the sender would be mentally notified. 

It was a form of magic that only the Seraphim & Archangels were capable of utilizing, and were allowed to make use of. 

So the fact that one was before her made Sera take pause. The parchment stationary was…familiar to her. ‘I can't put my finger on who it belongs to’ she thought momentarily. Had she not been so emotionally strained and tired, she would easily be able to remember.

Regardless, she plucked it from the air and used her own magic to burn away the wax seal. As the scroll unfurled itself, she beheld a vibrant pink colored script, with a passionate aesthetic. 

{Dear Seraphiel}

{I've made a reservation at Esters Eatery in 2 days]}

{I hope you're able to make it}

{I'll see you there in a shake of your favorite lambs tail}

{Toodles ~<3}

While the parchment burned away into a burst of heart shaped pink flames, Sera's brow furrowed. She was left thinking to herself, as to the potential of this sudden ‘reservation’. 

Sera bit her finger once again, as suspicion came back seven fold. “The last thing I need is another embarrassing public-”

‘But why would that be so bad?’

She blinked as the thought came to her. Almost as if it was whispered in her ear. 

‘Everyone you've talked to over these last few days, have had nothing but positivity to say in regards to you and Adam’

Her eyes widened as large as possible, as this inner voice within her seemed to be lecturing her.

‘Would him making you the center of his literal Paradise be such a bad thing?’

“I…I just don't want to be embarrassed” she muttered to herself as she sloped over. 

‘You're the one running around, interrogating everyone who you know, because you don't want to have a conversation with him’

“I did!” She shouted, defending herself. “I asked him-”

‘Asked him what? You devalued him, while looking at him as if he was a pain in your side, instead of the man who first gave you a bundle of Edens flowers, after you had comforted him when those two whores used him and betrayed him.’

Her mouth opened, but her voice gave out. 

It had been a long days, and she was utterly spent. 

She simply closed her eyes for a moment, and stopped. 

She stopped thinking…

She stopped fussing…

She stopped reaching for control of her surroundings, and she remembered-

“F-flowers?”

The sight before Sera was absolutely shocking. 

These weren't just any flowers. 

They were more radiant than anything Heaven held, and more beautiful than anything the Earth would ever grow. 

They were as rich and diverse as the animal kingdom, and we're as colorful as the shades and tones of the sky. 

It was undeniable that these flowers were from Eden. 

A place that Sera had perfect memory of, even long after it had been sealed away by the Almighty. 

The bundle of flowers before her was crudely wrapped in a gentle blue ribbon, almost as if done by an inexperienced hand. 

The same inexperienced hand that was offering her the bouquet of immortal flowers. 

Before her was Adam. A small set of golden wings sat on his back, that he was no doubt still getting used to. His plain white sleeveless tunic that had his name written in a gentle blue cursive over his left breast. 

A soft blush covered his hairless face, and his short brown hair was tamed and perfectly cut. His golden eyes were glued down to the clouds beneath his bare feet, despite him holding the flowers before her. 

“A-adam?”. She was shocked to be receiving something from Adam. And she was shocked that Adam somehow had flowers, from Eden itself. 

Even her and her fellow Seraphim were kept in the dark about Eden's new location after the flood. 

“..ese..for….u Ser…”

The mumble of words that left Adam's mouth was lost on her. She leaned forward slightly, in an attempt to hear him better. “Come again?”. 

Gulping, Adam held the flowers further towards her and forced the words out. “T-these are for you, Sera”.

Despite all the confusion, Sera had no choice but to take the bouquet in all their glory as Adam had handed them to her. 

“I…..wanted to say thanks…I guess” he muttered as he scratched the back of his neck bashfully. “I don't….I'm not good with words, Sera. Especially not after-”. 

Adam immediately cringed, as he looked down with a pained expression. Sera bit her lip, as she wanted to reach her arm towards him. 

The tension of the two heartbreaks Adam endured during his unfortunately long and arduous life on earth was thick. There were days where Adam hadn't come out of his home, and he was utterly despondent at being the only human in the newly constructed Heavenly plot for the souls of Winners that would soon inhabit Heaven.

It's why Sera always made every effort to spend time with him. To make him smile as he once had, on Eden’s grasses. 

“I've been hurting a lot. Hurting in ways I'll never be able to explain” he suddenly. “But…I'm doing better”. 

Sera's eyes widened, and Adam looked back up to her with a gentle smile. “Ive been trying to figure all of it out. Dying definitely didn't make it any better” he chuckled awkwardly, before kicking a small puff of clouds with his foot. “But spending time with you Sera? It's made things really feel like….Heaven” he smiled. 

The look on Adams face was brighter than she had seen in months. 

It was a relief that Sera hadn't expected. And the feeling of seeing Adam smile, despite all the pain he had been through…

It was…

She…

Adam coughed into his hand, tearing her from her thoughts. “W-well…I'll see you later, Sera”. With an unsteady flap of his wings, he took off and Sera was left standing on the clouds. 

Despite entire minutes passing, Sera was as silent as before as she looked down at the group of flowers in her hands. ‘What's this feeling?’ she thought to herself, as a deep warmth began to bloom in her chest for the first time. 

A soft blue blush covered her cheeks, as she tucked a strand of her short white hair behind her ear. 

All the while, her eyes were fixated on-

-the flowers in her hand. 

All it took was Sera opening her personal safe to grab the flowers. 

And so here she was in her office chair, staring at the flowers that started it all. 

The group of Edenic Paradise flowers, that were picked and grouped together with what would grow on to be romantic affection. 

‘The first bouquet’ she softly thought. The flowers in her hands hadn't aged a day. Quite literally. The ribbon that Adam first used to bind them had degraded, but the flowers looked as if they were just picked. 

A side effect of the purity that had compromised all of the living beings in Eden. Even after being uprooted and cut at the stems, the flowers were rich and wonderful. Their petals were soft, and they reflected the light of Heaven better than any stained glass window. 

Currently, she had them wrapped in a wonderful pink ribbon and a periwinkle wrapping film. 

They were beautiful.

They were what she looked at whenever she needed reminding of why she did what she did. 

They were her second most prized possession.

‘So you actually know what your first prized possession is?’

“Yes! Okay? It's Adam! I care about Adam!” She huffed at the voice in her head. “I love Adam so much, and I'm being a bitch by caring more about my public reputation than him!!! Are you happy????” She snapped, as she looked around in frustration. 

It took her much longer than she cared to admit, to realize that she was having a one sided argument with a voice that she was probably hallucinating. 

The silence she received in turn only further confirmed it.

She blinked owlishly before sitting down, and putting a hand to her forehead. “It's been a long week” she sighed, as she fished for her purse as she intended to leave early and head home. “I…I should rest”.

*Sera's Birthday!*

“See you later, Mrs Sera. And happy birthday!”

“Thank you. And to you as well”, she smiled with a wave of her hand. She took flight with her wings, as she left the office building and headed to Virtue-Ville. She had her purse over her shoulder, and cruised through Heaven's skies as the amber of the afternoon sun graced her face. 

The entirety of Sera's day was much more pleasant than she had expected. 

She had been humbled by the memories that she held previously. Ironic, as it seemed that it took herself hallucinating to be properly humbled as to her behavior.

But she was a woman who could acknowledge such faults, and she did her best to clear her head. She forgot all about her birthday, and just spent time relaxing. 

Taking the day off work yesterday for herself and to remove all the doubt and negativity from her had been the correct choice. 

Once she stopped seeing things so superficially and focusing on the perception of others, she began to reminisce on all the positive memories that she and Adam had.

Their first date. 

When he took her dancing in the skies of Earth during the Northern lights. 

How her excitement when eating vanilla ice cream led to him giving her the nickname that she couldn't help but adore. 

She felt relieved. 

By the time she rested her head on her pillow last night, she felt like she was seeing things clearly for the first time all week. And when she woke this morning, she was ready to face anything that could come and surprise her. 

She was ready to accept that anything Adam could surprise her with, wouldn't be some annoying and crude gesture to frustrate her. 

It was a show of his love for her that was as true as the stars above. 

So she went about her day as normal. ‘And what a pleasant day it was’ she couldn't help but smile to herself. 

A pair of Heaven-doves passed by her, as they managed to lovingly nuzzle against one another mid flight. 

The sight made her smile, truly and genuinely. With a wave of her hands, a blue shaped heart formed around them, turning them a gentle shade of sky blue for several moments before returning to normal. 

As the doves coo’d in appreciation, Sera waved while they parted directions from her. 

Her day was much less stressful than she'd assumed. All of the Angels in her office building had been very kind when they wished her a happy birthday. 

She'd receive many warm welcomes by her office, and more flowers than she knew what to do with. She'd received cookies, potted plants, and numerous knick-nacks as well. 

Michael had sent her a blue stained glass picture that depicted the first Magic lesson they shared together. 

Metatron gifted her several packages of her favorite Heavenly stationary, and new wells of Azure-Lapis ink. Her favorite blue colored ink blend. 

She was the center of attention in the cafeteria, and the various winners and Angels present sang her ‘She's A Jolly Good Sera’ despite her blushing insistence that it wasn't necessary. 

‘I even got a slice of strawberry shortcake’. It wasn't her favorite cake by any means, but it was a kind gesture by the Manager of the cafeteria workers. 

Sera beat her wings gently, as she came down to the designated landing spot in Virtue-Ville. As she touched down, she straightened out her dark blue dress softly. 

This dress was different from her usual outfit, or even her casual wear. It was a navy blue, and had a split on her left thigh that revealed a sky blue inner skirt. 

A sequined scarf was gently wrapped around her neck, instead of the high collar of her usual clothing. Instead of the ballgown-like shoulder ruffles her usual outfit held, this one was more casual. Simple open sleeves came down to her upper forearm, showing the platinum bracelets that sat on her wrist. 

A transparent white chimera chiffon shawl sat on her shoulders loosely, as she had a gentle spatter of golden flecks on her cheeks. Finally, a pair of lapis lazuli earrings sat in her ears as they jingled softly in the afternoon breeze. 

One could say that Sera looked ready for a hot date. 

‘I suppose that's not very far off’ she smiled as she made her way down the silver bricked road.

The reflection she had taken over the last two days had humbled her. She had taken time to realize that her accepting these parts of Adam weren't enough. 

She needed to do more than accept it and him. She needed to show him that his efforts were recognized and appreciated. 

And to do that, she decided to dress to impress. 

Searching through her expansive closet, she searched for the outfits that she had long been pressured by a certain annoying sister of hers into buying, but never planned on ever really wearing. Until today, that is. 

As Sera walked down the sidewalk, she drew eyes from many Angels and Winners alike. 

“Wow. Is that Lady Sera?”

“Che bellezza!”

“Bollocks! She looks right pretty, walking these streets!”

“There's Lady Sera! Happy Birthday!”

"يا إلهي، لا بد أنها قديسة بين الملائكة."

The praise she received from them left a comforting feeling in her chest. Not the same in which she received when Adam complimented her, but it was very nice. 

“If I had known this is why Adam enjoys going on strolls through the various Spheres, I might've joined him” she chuckled. She returned the waves and greetings as she continued down the way. 

Numerous child Winners stopped to marvel at her clothing, and she was all too happy to entertain them. 

“You're so p-p-pretty Missus Sera!” smiled a familiar young winged girl, with puce pink skin and a bell floating on her halo. She had a gap in her front teeth, and an obvious stutter. Yet Sera was smiling even brighter than the children around her, as she summoned a pure white flower to place in the girl's hair. 

“Thank you, Morticia. But it's you all, who are the most beautiful” she smiled before kissing the girl's forehead. 

Morticia giggles bashfully, as she clutches the skirt of her orange Edwardian era dress. She was barefoot, and Sera had to suppress a chuckle when she peered behind the girl and saw a boy with cat ears and a newsie cap who was not only standing faithfully behind the girl, but also holding a pair of shoes that matched her size 

Gaining an idea, Sera waved her hand and summoned a large wrapped basket before the children's eyes. The children could only watch with amazement as Sera summoned a white stool to set it on before she began unwrapping the basket. 

Before them was a basket containing cookies, crackers, wafers, chocolates, sweet truffles, pretzels, caramels, and all manner of sweets. It was one of the larger gifts that Sera had received at work. 

“Alright children, who would like a sweet treat this acternoon?” She smiled brightly, as she clasped her hands together. 

The children gasped, before their eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. Barely a second passed before they rushed forward into a mob of energetic joy. 

“YAY!!!!!”

“CANDY!!!!”

“I WANT A LOLLY!”

“CHOCOLADE!”

This time, a laugh left Sera's mouth as she was the epicenter of the children swarming the basket. Plucking a specific item from the center, she carefully moved through the children while offering advice. “Careful now. I don't want any of you getting sick”.

The boy from before was still standing in his previous spot, despite everyone else being up and center to the basket. By the time he realized Sera was standing before him, he almost jumped out of his bronze colored suspenders, as he squeaked quietly. 

But Sera had but experience in dealing with the young and shy. And she knew affection when she saw it. 

Crouching down low, she smiled at the boy. “Hello there. And what would be your name?” she asked softly. 

The boy blushed as he kicked his feet. “I'm Tadhg, m-ma’am” he muttered shyly, with a gaelic tilt to his voice. 

“Well Hello, Tadhg. I can see that you're holding Morticia's shoes there”. She made sure that her voice was free of accusation, and kept her smile visible so as not to frighten him. 

The boy blushed deeply, but he did nod as he held up Morticia's simple pink shoes. “Aye, ma'am. Morticia runs off all the time, and she keeps losin' her shoes, she does”.

The wheels turned in Sera’s head, as she put on an impressed face. “Why, that's so kind of you Tadhg. But I can't help but wonder. You're holding her shoes for her, but you look like you've been doing it for some time”. She was obviously and blatantly walking through the thought process. 

Once again, Tadhg was ignorant to it as he blushed. He held the shoes tighter and pulled his cap down on his head in embarrassment. “She's...she's just me mate is all. Always full o' cheer, callin' me to join in with the fun. I just...like makin' sure she's smilin'”.

At this, Sera grinned. “How noble of you, Tadhg. You're such a kind boy. Here”. She pulled out a heart shaped strawberry cookie, and offered it to him. “I think that Morticia would appreciate not only you always finding her shoes for her, but also this treat”. 

Taking the treat from Sera, Tadhg was wide eyed. He held Morticia's shoes under his arm, as he looked up at her with wide eyes full of hope. “Ye really think so?”. 

“I know so” she accentuated by booping his button nose. “Just be honest, and remember why you're her friend”. 

Patting his head, Sera stood to her full height and continued on her way. “Be safe children!”. 

“By Miss Sera!!!” Was the common phrase used, amongst the various languages and accents of the children. 

Looking down at the cookie in his hand, Tadhg let out a purr of determination. He adjusted his cap on his head, and began gently pushing his way through the children who were feasting on the treat. “Morticia!” He cleared his throat, as he came to her finishing a cracker. 

“Oh! H-h-hi Tee!” She smiled brightly, as she used her nickname for him, only to be surprised as she saw a sweet smelling strawberry cookie in front of her. “A crisp?”.

Tadhg nodded, as he did his best to stand straight. “Aye. Here ye go. I wanted ye to 'ave me biscuit”. 

Morticia's eyes widened as she took the cookie in her hands. She held it up happily, as she let out an excited squeal as her stuttering showcased her appreciation. “T-t-thank you T-t-tee!”. 

Blushing, Tadhg continued with his roll of good deeds, as he placed her shoes on the ground in front of her. “An' I found yer shoes, I did. Ye left 'em behind, when we were all messin' 'round in the f-fountain”. 

Her face lit up in even further joy, as her small wings began to flap happily. The bell above her halo began to ring and let out a melodious chime. “My shoes! Thank you, Tee!”. Slipping into her shoes, she quickly pressed her lips against Tadhg's cheeks. “Mwah! You're my h-h-hero!” She cheered. 

When he first came to Heaven, Tadhg had been rather lonely. 

His ma & pa who were so mean to him when he was living in Ireland weren't around, so it was nice. But he was still shy. 

Before coming to Heaven, he had been having a hard life of trying to work the fields which wouldn't grow crops, as everyone in his town was bitter, swindling, or just outright mean. 

He remembered being so hungry all the time, and the few meager scraps of food that he was able to find, his parents, uncle, and aunt would fight over it before leaving him nothing. 

The last night he was in Ireland before waking up in Heaven, was a cold night where he was so tired and hungry as he laid on the floor of the closet that was his room. 

Heaven was so much nicer in comparison. 

It was colorful, and bright, and there were Angels floating around just like the pastors had always preached about, before they were chased away by the bitter townsfolk. 

He never had to be hungry, he had wings of his own, and he got to meet Morticia. 

She was everything that Tadhg wasn't. 

She was brave, she was happy, she loved bouncing around the many parks & cloudy areas of Heaven where other kids like them would go. 

She was a Brit apparently. Although he thought it was strange how she would mention Britain having a King. Even he knew that Britain was ruled by a Queen. 

Yet even still, she immediately befriended him when he first met her by helping her find her shoes that were somehow stuck in a tree branch. 

After letting her stand on his back, they were able to grab them again. 

He…..felt happy with her. Happier than being in Heaven made him. 

“Prrrrrrrrrr” he let out, as he closed his eyes with a blushing smile. As Morticia broke the cookie in half for them to share, she munched on her half as she nuzzled against his whiskered cheek. 

And if this was what being her hero was like, he would be her Heavenly Hero. 

Taking his own piece, the two of them giggled as they joined the rest of the children in stuffing their pockets with the treats that Ms Sera gave them.

As she walked down the street, Sera marveled at the low amber orange of Heaven's afternoon sky. The multiple pastel colors made a soothing blend, which was intended to be calming to Winners of all temperaments and personalities. 

“Truly, it's the Almighty's dream healed” she sighed contently. She continued down the block, before turning down a corner. It was there that she saw it. 

A building made of burgundy brickwork, with vibrant purple awnings was half a block away. It had cream pink colored windows, and had a diverse garden atop the roof. The garden was plentiful, and had a menagerie of not only flowers but grapes due to the dedicated vineyard. 

Written in cursive, there was a golden sign atop the building's entrance. 

•°•|Esters Eatery|•°•

Sera had seen the restaurant many times, and heard of its lavish reputation by word of mouth. 

Many times, she had felt a sense of longing when she had overheard some of her subordinates talking about how their partners and lovers had treated them to wonderful nights at the restaurant. 

And here she finally was. 

As she stood, she couldn't help but wonder what led her here. So much pushback on her part was actually the only thing that held her back from the things she didn't know she longed for. 

Even though she accepted what was to come, she still couldn't help but feel anxious. Adam hadn't ever made a reservation at a restaurant before. So him doing this, but informing her about it was quite the surprise-

“Yo! Sera!”

The familiar voice rang out, as she immediately straightened up for a moment. 

“Sheesh! I've been looking for your tall sexy ass everywhere!”.

Turning immediately on her heels, Sera was shocked as she saw Adam quickly walking across the street. 

He was wearing a strange variation of his usual outfit. His robe was now open in the front, like an overcoat. It was fully white, and the buttons running down were golden, in the shapes of his logo. 

His helm wasn't anywhere to be seen, allowing her to see his grinning face. His face was as it always was, save for the stubble on his chin being seemingly shaved down. He had the same wry grin on his face, as he was coming her way. He wore a pair of black skinny jeans that had dark blue rings dropping down to a pair of black boots with periwinkle heels. 

Under his open robe, was a sash around his waist and a golden dress shirt with his A logo sewn into his breast. 

Sera’s eyes widened even further at his state of dress. ‘He…actually managed to blend his rocker style with evening appropriate clothing’ she couldn't help but think. The closer he got, the faster her heart beat for the inevitable surprise. 

“Man, I've been flying looking all over for you babe” he grinned, as he tugged the collar of his shirt. 

“Looking?” Sera blinked at his choice of words. ‘...Shouldn't he have known I would be here?’. 

“Yeah. I've been carrying this baby around for half an hour looking for you” he chuckled, motioning to a small blue box in his hands. It was roughly the size of a grapefruit, and had no labels or stickers of any kind on it. “I thought you'd be at home, but then I had to check your office, and then I saw an army of children hyped up on sugar who tried to get into my present for you, and then I saw you from all the way across the street and holy fuck you look great!!!” He rambled on, before taking a deep breath. 

“Phew!....Seriously though, you going out with your girlfriends or something?” He asked with a cock of his head.

Sera's brow legitimately furrowed. The information that Adam was giving was strange and confusing. Even for him. But she simply shook her head, as she took a step towards Adam, so they were face to face. “Adam. I…..”

“Because holy fucking moly, you look absolutely great Soft Serve. I'll say it 10 more times if I have to-”

“I owe you an apology”. 

…

…

…

The silence between them was obvious, but surprisingly it wasn't tense. The look that was painted on Adams face was one of shock. 

Confusion. 

Absolute befuddlement. 

And Sera knew that she was once again to blame. The times where she and Adam had arguments wasn't exactly…..rife for her to be taking accountability. She wouldn't avoid any fault like Lilith or Lucifer for example, but she sometimes had a hard time listening to what she didn't want to hear. 

“I….You…….Huh????” Adam practically gaped at her words, standing up straight. 

Ignoring the blush on her face from the vulnerability she was exposing herself too, she continued. “You heard me Adam. I'm apologizing”.

“......Are we breaking up?”. 

Sera rolled her eyes as she let out a breath. Even when she was all too ready to admit her wrongdoing, Adam still managed to make her realize the extent of her patience. “No, Adam. I'm just….I've been doing a lot of thinking about myself. About us-”

“Oh fuck! You are leaving me!!!!” Adam shouted out in genuine panic. His hands rose to his hair as he pulled at his brown locks, and his gold wings ruffled in panic. The box from his hand absentmindedly floated in gold magic, yet Adam’s golden eyes looked especially stressed as he suddenly threw himself before her. 

“Please Soft Serve! I can chaaaange!!!” He wept comically, as he tugged her dress. His wings wrapped around her waist, as he wrapped his arms around her leg. His Halo was spinning around out of control, all while his lip was quivering. 

“Adam, I'm not leaving-”

“I'll go vegan, vegetarian, any loser-diet to lose weight!!!!”

“I said I wasn't leav-”

“I promise I won't ever play rock music in the house again!!!!!”

“While I'd appreciate that, I'm not going to leave-”

“I'LL GIVE UP PORN!!!!!!”

This made Sera's face fall flat, as she had to resist the urge to facepalm. Silence once more returned to the pair, as Adam was quite literally making a scene.

He was on his knees. 

Clinging to her legs. 

In the middle of the afternoon, on the sidewalk. 

She deadpan stared down at Adam, who was simply giving her the puppy eyes with a quivering lip.

“Well, now I know who taught Emily how to play to my heartstrings” she sighed for a moment, before literally grabbing Adam under his arms and picking him up to put him on his feet. “No Adam. I'm not leaving you. I'm apologizing for…for treating you less than you deserve”.

Immediately, all amusement left Adams face at these words. 

Before she could react, he had floated up so they were at eye level. It had taken her off guard, and her eyes widened as he took her hands in his. 

“Sera”. 

His voice was cool. Collected. And rich in the same vulnerability she easily recognized whenever Adam was baring his soul to her. 

“You…I don't know where this is coming from” he told her with a furrow in his own brow. “I've never felt like you've treated me less” he told her with conviction in his voice. He brought her hands up to his, and ran his thumbs over her knuckles. 

“You've……I….” He struggled for a moment, as if he was finding the right words. “You're the Rock to my Roll, Sera. The amp to my guitar. The encore that my heart cheers for, every time I see your face” he confessed as his eyes glowed with smoldering affection. 

Sera was silent, as Adams' words made her heart pound in her chest. ‘H-he always had a way of making me feel so flustered. It was always when he acted serious, that I knew he was speaking from his heart’. 

Bringing her left hand to his face, he planted the softest of kisses on her palm before he nuzzled his face into her delicate hand. “I came into this world like a China doll. And I got broken and shattered by things I never saw coming. Even when I tried to pull myself together, I got smashed even further apart” he muttered as he looked downcast for a moment. 

“But you were there. You were always there. Since I first woke up, and pops was making sure the last of the dust was out of my hair” he blushed as he muttered. 

Sera had to raise a hand to cover her face, yet the laughter slipped out nonetheless. “You were so cute. You quickly sat up in the grass, were silent for 50 seconds, before sneezing as all the dirt and dust blew all over you”. 

She received a playful pout from Adam, before he joined her. 

The memory was fresh in Adam's mind, because it was his first. 

He was created in this world whole, as a man made in his father's image from dust and…

Love. 

Soon Adam had raised a hand to Sera's cheek. Now it was her turn to nuzzle against him softly, as the gold dust fell into his palm. 

“You’re the glue that holds all of me together, Babe. You put me back together when those bitches broke me apart and ripped away a piece of me”. He smiled somberly before he leaned his forehead against hers. “....And your ass is the fattest stack in all of Heaven”.

The crass end to his wholesome speech made Sera bury her face into his shoulder as she hid her smile. 

“Ha! Nice try babe! I won't let you hide that shit, when you try to high horse me all the time! Get loved on, bitch!”. As Adam pulled her out of his shoulder they devolved into playfully giggling and laughing as Adam descended back to the ground.

Smiling brightly, Adam plucked the box from the air as he opened the lid. “Happy Birthday, babe”. 

Once opened, Sera looked in the box and saw a cupcake. 

But it wasn't just a cupcake. 

Sitting in the box was a chocolate cupcake with a baby blue paper filter wrapped around it. It had white frosting shaped to match her furled hair on the back & sides. There were white sprinkles on the front that looked like freckles, and grey frosting that formed a smile. 

Blue & grey frosting formed her eyes, and a candy halo was propped at the top of her head. 

It was Sera as a cupcake. 

It was Sera's likeness, in sweet form. 

Her breath left her as she gasped and held the box as if it was a newborn babe. “Adam….it's….it's beautiful!” she whispered. 

“I know that I said I wasn't going to do any surprises or anything, but I just wanted you to know that I hadn't forgotten about your special day” he smiled, as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I went to a shop that makes special custom cakes, and they were happy to make a special request,” he chuckled. “I figured that my sugary queen deserved a-”

The smacking of her lips cut Adam off, as he looked and saw that she had already consumed the cupcake. By the time she finished licking her fingers, her eyes widened as she looked at him with wide eyes. 

They were both quiet, until-

“Pffffffft! Absolutely priceless!” Adam guffawed, holding his stomach. “And I thought I was supposed to be giving a gift. Not getting one!” he wheezed as he smacked his leg. 

A heavy blush filled Sera's face as she did her best to wipe her dress from the crumbs. “I…forgive me Adam. It's just that it was so cute and it tasted so good- wait”. She blinked for a moment as her mind caught up with the words she had heard. “The cupcake was the surprise?”

Picking wax out of his ear, Adam nodded casually. “I mean, yeah. I learned my lessons from before by trying to surprise you. Remember when you decked me in the face? That shit hurt. I think I swallowed a tooth-”

“Adam. If that was the surprise, then why did you invite me to this restaurant?”. The confusion was mounting up, the more Sera thought about it. 

Why was Adam speaking as if the cupcake was the surprise, when he was the entire reason why she was standing on this block, ready to enter Esters?

“What restaurant?” 

Her eyes were wide in shock, as Adams face was painted in a similar confusion. 

“I….Esters!” She motioned to the restaurant across the way. “It was in the Feather-Gram you sent me!”. 

Now it was Adams turn to look confused, as he crossed his arms. “Soft Serve. I can't use those, remember? I got busted by Michael when I tried to convince Emily to let me use them to send pictures of my Ass to Lucifucker.”

Her mouth opened and closed like a Heavenly Koi fish. 

She did remember that. 

‘How could I have forgotten? I…I must have been so stressed these last few days, that I blocked it out’. She shook herself out of her stupor as she motioned to him. “But then why are you wearing such formal clothing?”.

Taking a moment to look down at himself, Adam just shrugged. “Ava and Peter took me shopping. They said it couldn't hurt to improve my wardrobe”. He adjusted his collar again, looking back up at her. “I don't really feel it, but they said I should definitely wear them today to try out the style”. 

He then paused again, as he couldn't help but scratch his chin. “I did think it was weird when Ems came up to me earlier, and suggested I bring you the cupcake myself instead of sending a messenger or something”. 

Sera had no idea what she was hearing. 

Adam wasn't responsible for the Feather-Gram.

Adam hadn't invited her to the restaurant. 

Yet he was still here of all times. 

This couldn't be a coincidence. 

“Then...someone else had invited me to a reservation at Esters. And they also made sure that you would be here at the same exact time”. She both walked herself and Adam through this because she couldn't stop the ominous feeling welling up inside her at this. 

The pair of them slowly turned together as they looked at the door to Esters in unison. Despite it being one of Heaven's most popular restaurants, there was a distinct lack of customers going in and out of the establishment. 

In fact, the chalkboard sign on the sidewalk had the words ‘Closed For Nightly Reservation ~<3’ in superfluous pink chalk. 

“.......It's fucking Lucifer, isn't it?” Adam bluntly said. 

She sighed as she pinched her brow. “Adam, no”.

“C’mooon! This cloak & dagger mystery shit is right up his asshole!!!” He defended. Adam waved his hands back and forth dramatically, as if to further accentuate his point. “I'm telling you that we're gonna walk in there, and he's gonna be like ‘Hello comphets! You've fallen right into my cuckold trap!!! Get ready to sit back, and watch me abandon my kid while also Morningstarlesting like a total Lucigroomer! She said she was twelve!!!!’.”, Adam accentuated as he moved his arms similar to a deranged circus master. 

‘I'm not sure what's more unsettling. The fact that Adam could come up with such a strange impression, or the fact that it's spot on’ she thought as a bead of sweat trailed down her forehead. “Ahem. Well as unlikely as that is, we still need to go inside. Whoever made the reservation and set this up, obviously went to a lot of time and effort”. 

For the final time, she smoothed out her dress. She squared her shoulders and dug into the well of confidence that she prided herself on. “It would be prudent for us to enter, and at least hear them out”. 

“And if it turns out to be Lucifer, I got a fucking birthday surprise for his ass” Adam grinned mischievously, after reaching into his boot and pulling out a golden trench knife. Twirling the blade into a reverse grip, he clutched it savagely as the knuckle-duster grip had the letters ‘A-D-D-Y’ diamond encrusted on the knuckles. 

The pair stood in silence for a moment. 

The streets around them continued in their afternoon ambiance, as they stared at the restaurant before them. 

Hesitation weighed on Sera's heart for a moment, as she pursed her lip. 

Hesitation that melted away, as soon as a hand slipped into hers. 

Her eyes widened, and she looked down to see none other than Adams hand clutching hers softly. 

When their eyes met, Adam flashed her one of his famous cocky grins. He gave her a wink, and squeezed her hand softly. 

Her surprise blended with her affection, to form an overwhelming confidence. 

And she matched his smile with one of her own as she returned the squeeze. “Together?” she offered softly.

“Hell yeah, babe. Together” he grinned savagely, as he licked his Angelic Steel blade. 

The pair walked down the sidewalk until they inevitably came down to the restaurant front door. 

Jingle

The chime at the door was harmonious as they both entered. But the lights immediately extinguished as the door closed behind them. 

“FUCK! I CANT SEE!!! DAMN YOU LUCIFUCKER!!!” Adam cried out suddenly as several swiping sounds were heard from him randomly cutting at the air. “COME AND GET THIS STEEL IN YOUR DICK, YOU DUCK LOVING CUCKHOLE-”

“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!”

The lights switched on suddenly as the many voices cried out happily. 

Blue confetti fell from the ceiling. 

Golden sparklers were sparkling from the numerous potted plants on the table. 

Several gifts occupied another table off to the side. 

And the room was filled with familiar faces that were wishing Sera well. 

Emily, who was wearing a baby blue long sleeved dress with a white cardigan and hoop earrings with tiny lambs inside. 

Lute, who wore a mid-length sleeveless black cocktail dress with a split in the skirt, and several golden bands going up her left arm. 

Peter, who was wearing a burgundy suit, with a cream yellow dress shirt and a puce pink tie with a matching pocket square……and back brace. 

And to tie it all together, was a banner near the ceiling that had painted handprints of several sizes and seemed to be collaborated by all the people present. 

[†HAPPY★BIRTHDAY★SERAPHIEL†]

“I…..I don't…what?” Sera stuttered. Her mind was genuinely rebooting, as she saw everyone gathered together. “A surprise?”. 

“Aw what????”. Adams reaction was obvious and jilted. “You guys plan a surprise for ber, the one time I decide to throw in the towel???”. 

“What did you expect? If we clued you in, then you'd find a way to make it needlessly dramatic” Lute deadpanned, as she flicked her hair over shoulder. 

Adam was silent before he grumpily threw his hands up, pouted and crossed his arms. “So fucking unfair”. 

Mwah!

“Don't be jealous, Adam. Be glad for your Sera, on her special day”. 

The sudden kiss didn't surprise Adam, who turned to see the woman who planted it on his cheek. 

Standing before him was a woman of average height, who had burgundy red hair that came to her lower back in rich curls. She has gentle pastel pink colored skin, and a pair of white wings extending from her back. 

She was garbed in a white dress, with a golden sash wrapped around her waist and a sky blue shawl on her shoulders. Her jade colored eyes were filled with amusement as she held a pie in one hand before gently adjusting the sash on Adam's person. 

“Ah, look at you Adam. You're so handsome in your new clothes. Isn't this better than all those loud spiky clothes you wear every day?” the woman smiled brightly, as she doted on the first man in a motherly way. 

Adam could only roll his eyes. “No, Ava. Just because I make these rags look sexy as fuck, doesn't mean they're better. My balls are trapped like lobsters in….well, a trap” he motioned shamelessly to his crotch. Only for Ava to gently slap his hand away. 

“Language, hon. Today isn't about you. It's about Sera” she smiled sweetly, pinching a pouting Adam's cheek. 

Turning to Sera, Ava had a bright smile as she wrapped her free arm around Sera's midsection. “Sera, love. You look positively stunning! Happy birthday, darling”. 

The warmth she received from Ava was all too familiar, and the tall blue colored Seraphim was all too happy to bend down and wrap her arms around the married Winner. Her smile was bright, as she held hands with Ava. “Thank you, Ava. How have you been?”. 

“Oh the usual” she waved wistfully. "A little baking, a little needlepoint, and some reading a new book with the girls”. Suddenly, a furrowed brow and a frown crossed the woman's face, as she made her way over to the room's other occupants before setting the pie on the table. 

“And having to take care of a certain someone, who thought doing a backflip was a good idea, when they won't even so much as come with me when I do my daily walks!” she said with crossness as her ire was directed at Peter. 

A deep blush crossed Peter's face, as he sputtered to defend himself. “I work hard at the Gate all day! It's not my fault that I want to unwind with French horn practice with my friends!”. 

“Ugh! This is what Jesus means when he says that you need to be more aware of your surroundings!” She huffed, as she used the serving spoon to gently bop Peter on his head. 

Just as Peter was slumped over apologetically, Sera came over as she rested her hands on both their shoulders. “Thank you all for coming. This looks…..it's absolutely wonderful”. Truly, everyone coming together for this occasion was something that she couldn't expect in a thousand mortal lifetimes. 

“Yay! Mission accomplished!” Emily cheered brightly, as she crashed into Sera with a hug. 

Another chuckle left Sera, as she hugged Emily back. “But I have to ask. When did you all decide to get this together?”. 

The question made Emily squeal as she held her own cheeks joyously. “We weren't the ones who decided to plan this out, Sera”. 

Lute nodded, as she casually smacked Adams hand away from trying to touch one of the gifts on Sera’s table. 

Smack!

“Ow! Hey!”

“She's right, Lady Sera.” She nodded, as she ignored the obvious glare from Adam. “It wasn't until after you came to see each of us, that she planned all this out”. 

She blinked owlishly, as she processed Lute's words. “...She?”.

“~Who else would have the genius to organize such a thing, Serre?”

The rich harmonious voice. 

The teasing tone. 

The plotting that had all but ended in a subtly romantic manner that neither she or Adam could have predicted. 

“Jophiel” Sera sighed, as her shoulder sagged forward. 

More giggles sounded from above, as the Archangel of Love, Intimacy & Romance flew down from above. 

As her lavender thigh high boots touched down on the floor, she was fully bared for Sera and Adam to see. Her back length pink hair was positively glowing as if it were neon, as it was tied in a thick braid down her back. The sky blue markings that spread across her dark blue flesh glowed as they always did, as they came up to two distinct lines that connected to up at her glowing pupils like tear troughs. 

Her dress was a rich violet that shimmered as if it was made with semi-solid mercury. There was an actual pink flower on the single right shoulder that had golden thorns which pulsated and moved gently as if in the wind. Her right sleeve came down to a fingerless glove, along with platinum rings on each finger. Her left shoulder was bare, and her bountiful cleavage was on full display. 

Her cleavage was shamelessly revealed as the heart golden shaped clasp holding her front together, and a larger matching one was present at her hip level, holding the red furled cloth wrapped around her hips as it dragged across the floor elegantly. 

As she walked, her hips swayed back and forth. Glowing pink hearts formed in the air around her and the white colored wings on her head flapped gently before forming an impromptu reef in her hair. 

As she came to a stop before Sera, she grinned brightly with her hand on her hip. “Serre! You look absolutely fantastic!”. 

This got an eye roll out of Sera, who pinched the bridge of her nose. “Now it all makes sense”.

Sera couldn't believe how she didn't see it. 

Jophiel was a fellow Seraphim who had the ability to make Feather-Grams. 

She was the only one who used Pink Parchment for for letters of Feather-Grams. 

Her younger sister was scheming and teasing enough to plan something like this, on the only year where Adam had all but given up on surprising her. 

“Don't you mean ‘Oh Jophy! Thank you soooo much!’” she mimicked of Sera while clutching her hands together dramatically. “‘You got all my friends together, and even managed to trick Adam into dressing nicely so I could have a birthday that didn't involve me punching him in the face!!!!’.”

“Is that how you ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks Adam?” Emily gasped in shock. “Noooooooo! Not domestic violence!” She wept comically as she buried her face into his stomach. 

“I told you scaring her wasn't a good idea!”. Lute scoffed, crossing her arms as she elbowed Adam crossly. 

“....Why did you guys even fucking invite me here?” He grumbled. Yet his cheek was gently pinched by Ava. 

“Because we love you, you munchkin” she smiled as she patted his cheek. “Look at you, so handsome and pouting. 

“Wha- I'm older than you!!!!”

“But you're not older than meeeeee!” Countered Jophiel. She glided over to Adam, and ran her hands through his hair. “Look at him. He's so cute when he's pouty” she purred. She bit her lip in amusement, the same way a mother doting over a child would. “All angry and machismo. He's like a pit bull with a cigar”

Even as he tried slapping their hands away, Adam was unable to truly bear any rage towards them. “Cut it out! I'm not cute! I'm a killing machine!” He growled. 

“More like a cutie machine!” Emily giggled, before she joined in by tickling Adams stomach. 

One of his many weak spots. 

“A-ah!!! No! Fuck! Stop!!!!” He both yelled and laughed, as the triple assault from the women left him weak and powerless. “Fuck! Dangertits! I order you to do something!!!!” He desperately cried out, as he sunk to the floor due to his legs giving out under him. 

Click!

Click!

Click!

Peter watched with raised eyebrows, at the sight of Lute simply standing next to him and taking pictures of Adam on the ground. All the while the First Man’s legs were kicking from being tickled to death. “...Aren't you going to do something?” He wondered. 

“I am”. Her answer was simple and to the point. She showed Peter her phone, and the photos in her gallery. “These pictures just bought me my vacation to coincide during our next audit, when he usually drops all his paperwork on my desk” she deadpanned.

“AHAHAHA- YOU FUCKING TRAITOR! I TOLD YOU I WAS STARTING TO DO MY OWN WORK-AHA! NOT THE RIBS! PLEASE NOT THE RIBS AHAHAHAHA!”

“I'll believe it when I see it” she scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “Once I come back from my vacation and see that you've actually done your work instead of trying to camp out in the executive bathroom for the whole week, then we'll talk”. 

Peter's eyes were wide, and he was silent for a moment. His eyes were full of contemplation, before he smiled and pulled out his own phone. A blackberry with a blue fish colored on the back. “The other apostles will love these” he smiled, as he himself took some pictures. 

“AHAHA- I HATE ALL OF YOUU!!!!!”

“Here he comes!!!!!!”

Of all the times this week Sera had to keep from laughing, this one was the most rich and worthwhile. 

Because instead of one of those present bringing the cake to her at the round table, it seems that Emily had arranged a….certain special steed to deliver it. 

Sssssssssss!

The cake was walked in, with numerous sparklers that were making the dimmed room shine. 

It was wobbling back and forth slightly, but it seemed that it would hold. 

It entered through the kitchen, and was carried by none other than-

“Yay!!!!! You can do it, Mr Butterscotch!!!!” Emily cheered from her place at the table. Her hands were cupped around her mouth, with her halo glowing spectacularly. 

“Holy fuck” Adam whistled, obviously impressed. “I can't believe she actually managed to train the tiny horse…..Dangertits? Where'd you-”, Adam looked down to see Lute had strategically placed herself behind him as her eyes were locked on Mr Butterscotch. “Oh right. You're afraid of mini-horses”. 

“I'm not afraid of anything!” she hissed, despite not moving an inch as she clutched the back of Adams chair. “I just am….unnerved by those things!”. 

Now it was Adams turn to deadpan. “It's a fucking horse, Dangertits”. 

“That's what they said about the Trojan horse!!!” She hissed as she pointed out accusatorily. 

Adam blinked slowly before looking forward. “Damn. I wonder if this is what everyone means when they say I'm ‘impossible’.” he muttered, scratching his chin. 

Finally, Mr Butterscotch came to the edge of the table with the cake. He was wearing a golden halter, and a pink psuedo-saddle that was arranged as a tray that was holding the cake. 

Immediately, Emily was by his side as she petted his mane and pressed her cheek against his nose. “Yay!!!!! You did it, Mr Butterscotch!!!! You're the best!!! Go team ‘Joyful Jockey’!!!” she cheered. 

Chuckles sounded off, as Ava gently took the cake and placed it on the table. “All together, everyone!”.

~A day in the clouds,

A night like a shroud. 

~Today's your Halul,

We'll see that you're full!

Your kin and your friends,

From here to the end.

We all love you 'Sera'!

Let our song ring loud!!!!

As the annual Halul song was sung by everyone present, Sera beheld the cake that was slid in front of her. 

It was obviously a homemade cake, with silver colored icing depicting a blue river scene. A blue elaborate swan made of icing was sitting perched on the white icing clouds. It wore a white crown, and had a group of baby birds of all types swimming and flying behind her. 

The crown had 5 points, which comprised the blue candles that stuck in the air, with white flames that lit the room.

{~Happy Halul Birthday Seraphiel!}

The sight….

It was…..

All these people gathered together here, it made her truly feel appreciated. She had to blink away the tears that were threatening to form, and she had to gently dab the moisture that would threaten to make her mascara run. 

She truly had no words for how much emotion she felt. 

So she took a deep breath, and gently blew the candles out. 

“Yay!!!! Happy Birthday Sera!!!!!”

“~Happy Halul, Serre”

“Happy Birthday! You want some cake, Darling?”

“I hope you have many more birthdays like this, Lady Sera”

“Happy Birthday Sera!”

“FUCK YEAH!!!!! LET'S GET SOME OF THAT CAKE!!!!!!!”

“So how did you do it?”

The question made Jophiel look up from her plate. The eyes on her head wings blinked in unison, as she watched Sera sit down across from her. 

The wrapping paper from several of Sera's gifts covered the gift table near the rear of the room.  

The winged bluetooth speaker was playing ‘C&RB’ music. A fusion of Classical & R&B that was popular in some of the Heavenly spheres, and was Sera's personal favorite genre….right after the music Adam played for her when they were together. 

The Cake, and Peter's Piousberry Pie had been served up and happily dug into, as the other guests were going about their business in the restaurant hall. 

So it was Jophiel's surprise, that Sera was sitting before her instead of conversing with the others. “~Oh? And whatever do you mean?” She asked coyly, as she licked a dash of chocolate icing off her finger teasingly. 

As usual, Jophiel was playing hard to get. ‘I shouldn't be surprised, considering that she quite literally invented the art’ she rolled her eyes. “Are you going to make me beg? Today of all days?”. 

The resulting giggle from Jophiel was followed by the Seraphim of love waving Sera off. “Alright, alright. To answer your question, it wasn't really hard”. Leaning back in her chair, she crossed one leg over the other before resting her cheek against her knuckle and giving Sera a purposely smoldering look. “You actually did all the heavy lifting for me”.

“Me???”. Sera couldn't help but gape at the claim. 

“~You heard me”. With a wave of her hand, pink hearts formed in the air as they floated around. Before Sera's eyes, they began forming into the shape of Angels, with one of them being Sera shaped. “You've been running around Heaven all week trying to sniff out some ‘Grand Conspiracy’ with Adam, that I had the perfect crew to work with”.

The Sera figure was flying around in distress, as the other figures slowly shaped themselves like Peter, Ava, Lute & Emily. 

“Once I had the crew, all I had to do was put things into place”. 

One of the hearts shaped themselves into Adam, and the Ava figure dragged him off as Peter followed. 

The Lute figure carried a box carrying a cake, and the Emily figure carried a suspiciously horse shaped figure on her shoulder as she flew by. 

Sera eyed the mystical display without blinking. It was all coming together in her head. The pieces that she had been too stressed and suspicious of Adam to realize. 

“~And then of course there was the cherry on top”. 

This made Sera look up in genuine confusion, but she said nothing. 

Almost as if reading her mind, Jophiel kissed her own hand and blew a kiss. The kiss formed into a glowing blue lipstick mark, as all the other figures aside from Sera disappeared. 

The Sera figure was sitting at a desk. She was resting her head in her hands. 

The blue kiss floated down to her before the lips began moving. 

"But why would that be so bad?"

Sera straightened up, as the familiar voice from two days ago was synchronized with the lips speaking to the figure of her. 

She felt a minor chill go through her, as she watched the display. 

"Everyone you've talked to over these last few days, have had nothing but positivity to say in regards to you and Adam"

The Sera figure began moving as Sera had done that day, when she was ranting to the voice in her head the other day. 

“That voice was you????”

With a snap of her blue fingers, all of the figures and magic disappeared. “Yup. I was the cricket on your shoulder, so to speak” she tilted her head.

Despite quite literally being pushed in the right direction, Sera didn't feel any rage at Jophiel. No indignation or betrayal. 

Sera knew her sister. Their bond had been forged in the fires of their tenure and existence, and they had watched entire eras of history rise and fall together. Even if Sera was upset, there was no malicious intent here. But it did make her curious. 

The look on Sera's face softened, as she gazed at her sister. “But why go this far? Why arrange all this for me?”. 

Another giggle left her sister's ears, as her braid moved with a shake of her head. “Oh sister of mine. After all these millenia, you're still so blind to what's in front of you”. 

Before Sera could ask another question, Jophiel simply raised her hand. She undid the hidden clasp on her right fingerless glove, leaving both her hands bare. “It's easier to show you”. 

The way she said it.

It was with a soft aura of seriousness that Sera hadn't heard since…

Since the pair of them stumbled upon Adam weeping by the river bed in Eden, whimpering how his heart had been taken from him. 

Sera looked as Jophiel extended her hand to her. 

It was inviting. 

It was welcoming. 

“Take my hand, Seraphiel” she spoke gently, with words filled in promise and answer. 

Her hand moved before she even realized it, placing itself in Jophiel's. And when Jophiel's other hand covered Sera’s…

Everything turned Black except for them. 

And then…a pink ribbon. 

And another. 

And another. 

And another and another and another. 

She saw numerous pink ribbons stretching across the room, through the floor and through the walls and even the ceiling. 

The ribbons looked as if they were leading to parts unknown, and originating from who knew where. 

Sera's eyes were wider than ever before, as more of the room began to light up, with her and Jophiel at the center. 

“I…” she struggled to even collect her thoughts. “This is-”

“This is how I see the world, Serre”. Her eyes gazed around, with practiced ease. “All these bands represent love. Love as it is, love that once was, and love that's even yet to be”. She smiled, as she used one of her wings on her back to lift up a ribbon that connected her and Sera together. “A bond of sisterhood that we share” she smiled, as she was bathed in a glowing pink aura that made Sera's eyes widen. 

Motioning to the rest of the restaurant hall, she showcased Sera the full depths of her version of the world. 

The rest of the room was in a sort of blue haze, as everyone else continued about their business, unaware of the two Seraphim spectators. 

A ribbon was wrapped around Mr Butterscotch's midsection, before it waved in the air and wrapped around Emily's forearm. 

Meanwhile, a bundle of ribbons were leaving Emily's heart as they extended into the walls of the restaurant. 

A thin ribbon extended from Lute's shoulder and wrapped around Emily's leg. 

“See? He's not so bad, Lute!” Emily smiled brightly as she patted Mr Butterscotches side. “You don't have to be scared”. 

Lute however grumbled, as she crossed her arms. “Fine. You've made your point. He's not going to explode and dance on my corpse. Can I finish my cake now?”. 

But instead, Emily handed her a carrot. 

Lute's eyes widened as she looked at Emily who was….giving her puppy dog eyes. 

“No!”

…

“Absolutely not!” She spoke with finality. 

…

“........Fine! But then you have to leave me alone” she grumbled, unaware of the ribbon around her swaying gently to an invisible breeze. Stealing herself, she stared down at Mr Butterscotch who stared back up at her. 

After biting her lip, Lute raised a shaky hand to the horse’s mouth. 

Mr Butterscotch sniffed the carrot for several seconds, before he let out a soft whinnie. He took a few bites of the carrot, before taking a few more steps closer to Lute. 

Lute's eyes were wide, yet her posture relaxed slightly at the gesture. Before she knew it, she raised her other hand and began putting the horse's mane. 

Emily however, was utterly estatic. “You did it Lute! Now you guys are best friends!!!” she smiled, as she threw confetti in the air. 

“We are not friends….also, were you just keeping that in your pocket?”. Despite Lute's raised eyebrow, she didn't stop petting Mr Butterscotch. 

And as the miniature horse finished his carrot, a glowing pink light formed as a thin ribbon connected Lute and the heavenly animal.

Closer to the speaker, was none other than St Peter & Ava. The music had reached a rather somber & sweet lul, and the husband and wife were slow dancing. 

An entirely massive bundle of ribbons were wrapped around the pair, as if someone had covered the two in wrapping paper. These ribbons seemed to be thick, yet still flowed in the air around them as the pair swayed back and forth. 

“Oh Shimon” Ava whispered as she had her arms wrapped around Peter's neck lovingly, despite the brace. “This reminds me of our wedding”. 

A chuckle left Peter, as he looked down at his wife. “Oh? Was this before or after your mother tried to pry us apart with a spoon?”. 

“Oh you” she cackled as she nuzzled against him. “You know how my mother is. Always focusing on what she could see, and never seeing the goodness deep down”.

They pulled apart, as Peter twirled his wife elegantly. Their feet were bare out of their shoes and socks, as they glided across the floor with the grace of ballroom dancers. Even the back brace didn't hamper Peter much, as when he held Ava back to him, she dipped herself back. 

“Do you remember what you did when my mother wanted me to marry the blacksmith?” She asked as she batted her eyelashes.

Peter blushed, and he looked away for a moment. “Oh my, the architecture in this restaurant is impressive” he evaded. 

Ava cackled again as she rose back up and pressed her forehead against his, so their noses were touching. “Don't you try to distract me, Shimon. You remember. You went out to sea, and stayed up all night casting your net out again and again” she purred as she turned around so her back was to Peter. 

“By the time dawn came, you carried three entire barrels of fresh fish to my father's doorstep, and told him that you wanted to marry me” she batted her eyelashes and smiled wistfully. “I had never seen my father so impressed, and my mother speechless”. 

Peter blushed, yet wrapped his arms around her waist as much as the brace would allow him. “I….I didn't want to lose you, Ava. I wanted to spend my life with you, and I would have ran away with you if I had to”. His blue eyes looked at her with honesty, and years of promised care .

Leaning her head back, Ava sighed contently as the couple swayed. “I'm glad we didn't run away. Before I knew it, we were married. And the next thing I know, you're bringing a carpenter to see my mother when she fell ill. I thought you'd gone crazy when you said he would heal her”. 

At this, Peter finally chuckled as he spun her around again so that they were facing together. “Your mother still didn't like me after that”. 

“Nuts to what she thought. You were my hero, all over again. And when I finally passed on and saw you waiting for me at that gate…”

“I-I wasn't waiting per say-” he started as a pink hue covered his cheeks. 

“Oh, you were waiting for me. Just like I was waiting to see you again. Neither of us knew it yet” she smiled, as she put her hands over his.

“Because no matter what, you'll always be the fisherman that reeled in my heart” she promised lovingly. “....Even if I'm not too crazy about that new name you have”. 

“What? What's wrong with Peter?” He wondered with a pout.

She only shrugged noncommittally. “I don't know. It's…..too Greek.” 

“But my friends like it!”

“Oh, la dee dah! Mister ‘Saint Pope Big Pointy Hat Peter Who Doesn't Care What His Wife Thinks’!” She huffed before she pinched his cheek softly.

Despite the pair going back and forth, even more ribbons formed around them, seemingly wrapping them even tighter together. 

Finally, Sera & Jophiel saw none other than the unofficial 2nd guest of honor of the day, Adam. 

He was sweeping some wrapping paper & hay into a pile, before using his wing to shove the mess under a trash can. 

“Do you know what I see when I look at him, Sera?”

The question was another bundle of straw on the amazement and confusion that she felt while looking through the ability Jophiel possessed. 

“I see fear. A fear to love again. A fear to let anyone in, at the risk of harming the most pure thing in creation that's wrapped in a charred black armor forged from pain and circumstance”.

Looking back over to her sister, Sera was surprised as she saw a frown on the dark skinned Seraphim's face. 

A cloudy look was in Jophiel's eyes, as the various lines on her body began to sprout runic eyes sporadically. 

The wings on her head outstretched as the feathers became sharper, and a series of hardened red veins grew out of the back of her scalp to form a crude crown of bramble. 

A manifestation of her partial Seraphim form. 

Sera had seen this side of Jophiel before. 

But the first time was none other than when that miserable excuse of functioning organs Lilith left Adam broken as she whorishly threw herself forward into Lucifer's arms. 

It had taken both Sera's desperate plea and Michael’s command, to keep Jophiel from soaring across the garden herself and impaling Lilith before countless crimson roots ripped her whoremongering chest open as she immolated Liliths her own heart for 600 endless days and 600 dayless nights. 

“But do you know what I see when he looks at you?”

And just as quickly, those features were gone as if they never existed in the first place. 

Jophiel's face was now replaced by the flirting serenity that she constantly carried with her. All negativity was replaced, as she cast a hand downwards to point at the floor. 

It took only a second to see what Jophiel was talking about. 

She didn't recognize it at first, as she looked over her side and onto the floor. 

The suddenly pink floor. 

But then Sera realized it wasn't the floor.

It was a ribbon. 

A ribbon that was wider than the table they both sat at. 

It was so large, that it was as if someone had stitched two tarps together. The ribbon flowed forward as it's trail rose in the air. It ducked and furled as Sera's wide eyes slowly traced it. It even split in multiple places, before converging once again as it led to one spot. 

One inevitable spot. 

One person, who Sera should've known all along that it belonged to. 

Adam

As the ribbon’s length converged on Adam, it began to shift to an orange color. The color slowly began to ease into an amber, before changing to a bright yellow, before a startling shining gold sank into his being. 

It didn't just wrap around him or connect with him.

It was as if the ribbon WAS Adam, and Adam WAS the ribbon. 

“Adam was made from love and dust, Seraphiel”.

The words made Sera turn to Jophiel, and suddenly the world returned to normal as Jophiel pulled her hands away. 

Resting her cheek on her hand, she smiled simply at Sera. Despite the difference in superiority between them, it was Jophiel who was dispensing knowledge to her older sister. “The dust of the earth around him. And the love of the Almighty's heart”.

She cast her hand around them, as she spoke with a soft inflection. “This world. The universe. Creation itself is the Almighty's band” she proclaimed softly. 

She was stunned. 

Speechless. 

Everything she was hearing was leagues beyond what she knew not only of Adam & Jophiel, but the world around her. “His…his love?”.

“~Heehee. That's right. Whether it's a love for us, the humans, or life itself isn't something I can surely say. But Adam is made in his father's image. Love is what defines him. What binds him. What keeps him going when the world seeks to undo him” she surmised as she took Sera's hand again. 

“And the love Adam feels for you, is nothing short of the truest love I have seen between any two existing creatures”. 

Silence. 

The music, whinnies of Butterscotch, and sweeping of a broom were present in the room. 

But all that came from Sera was silence. 

“You ask me why I've done all of this for you, Sera” Jophiel cut in. She rested her chin on both her hands as she propped herself on the table with her elbows, her mouth in a straight line. “What you should really be asking is ‘Why would Adam try to do this for you every single year?’.”

Sera looked at Jophiel. 

Sera looked at Adam. 

Sera looked down at her hands…

And saw a bouquet of perfect flowers. 

With a final sweep of his wings, Adam had cleaned up all of the hay and trash. 

“Fuck. Finally, That shit took forever” he grunted. He took the broom, took the dustpan…

And promptly put them in the trash, despite not having any of the stuff he sweeped. 

He pulled the collar of his shirt open, and let out a sigh of relief. “Phew. Now I can actually breathe in this monkey suit”. 

Stretching his arms up, several pops were heard before he slouched over again.

Today…..wasn't a bad day. 

Despite being roped into a surprise party without his knowledge, and screaming threats to Lucifer like an idiot in the dark. 

“Not a bad gig, overall. Could've used a couple pyrotechnics” he mumbled with a simple shrug. “Maybe a smoke machine or two”. 

Overall, Adam had to admit that they all did a pretty fucking good job. 

‘Better than anything I ever could do for her' he couldn't help but dourly think. 

He sighed, as he grabbed the lid to the trash can and set it atop the bin. It was shiny, and Adam saw his reflection perfectly in the reflective steel. 

He stared at the man looking back at him, and he sighed again as his shoulders felt heavy. 

‘Jeez. Even when I try and do better, I still can't help but feel like I've got a pinecone up my ass’. Adam’s thoughts were troubled, as he couldn't help but feel a rare amount of insecurity. 

He had come to the realization that he'd been…thoughtless, when it came to celebrating Sera's birthday every year.

Last week when he had gone through Emily's scrapbook to get inspiration for his ‘genius bitching new birthday surprise’ scheme, he saw the photos Emily had taken of the last few years' celebrations. 

But when he took a moment to look at the images- to really look at them, he noticed a consistent pattern. 

The unhappy look on Sera's face. 

He was surprised and confused. He had remembered feeling proud that he was able to catch Sera off guard each time, and celebrate her birthday in a bombastic way. 

But as he flipped through the photos, he saw a similar range of emotions on Sera's usually beautiful face. 

Annoyance.

Frustration. 

Embarrassment.

Embarrassment.

Embarrassment-

Adam gripped the lid of the trashcan to steady himself as he let out a shaky breath. 

The realization at the time had hit him like a Heaven-truck running over sinner lot lizards. 

….He was the problem. 

He was the reason that Sera seemed to be ‘too busy’ to talk to him the days following her birthday, year after year. 

It was-

…

It hurt to realize that he wasn't making her happy, on the day she should've been the happiest. 

He got too wrapped up in his usual bullshit. Of trying to make himself seen, that he wasn't seeing what he should have been making sure to.

So he stepped back. He confessed to Sera that he was hanging up the towel. 

What he didn't tell her, was how long he locked himself in his bedroom and fighting the feelings that he was ruining her life-

“Is this trashcan lid taken?”

“Woah! Shit!” He cursed as he turned around suddenly to see Sera. 

Sera, smiling, with her hands folded in front of her. 

“I mean- Hey there, gorgeous.” He tried to recover. Slicking his hair back, he flashed a forced grin as he pointed two finger guns. “What's a girl like you doing in a place like this, hm?”. 

Despite his visible unsureness, Sera simply smiled. “Well, it is my birthday after all”. 

Adams face went slack for several seconds, as he blushed from Sera's giggling due to his reaction. “Uh! R-right! Of course it is! I was just making sure you weren't getting a big head! The last thing you need-”

“May I have this dance, Adam?”

The phrase blindsided Adam, as his paltry excuse had turned to dust in his mind. “You….want to dance?”. 

She nodded, extending her hand hopefully. “I'd be honored, if you would”. 

Heat. 

Shyness. 

Hesitation. 

Despite feeling a surplus of these emotions and sensations, Adam’s eyes never left Sera’s hand-

And suddenly the lights dimmed. 

And a spotlight shined on the two of them from above. 

And the music from the speaker was turned off. 

Adam looked around in confusion, as his winged ruffled on edge. “What the hell?”.

And then a guitar started playing. 

A song that Adam was all too familiar with. 

♪ Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear

Every Time…You Are Near?

Just Like Me, They Long To Be…

Close To You ♪

Adams head whipped to look behind him so hard, that he would've gotten whiplash if he was a living modern human. 

Over by the table that held the speaker, was none other than Emily playing a guitar as she sat atop Mr Butterscotch side saddle. 

She was smiling brightly as she met Adam's gaze, with her fingers strumming the acoustic guitar just as Adam had taught her countless times before. 

Meanwhile, a winged microphone stand was right in front of Ava & Lute, who were singing the song that danced amongst his ears.

It wasn't just a song. 

It was their song. 

The song that Sera had gifted him on their 1000th anniversary together. 

‘They Long To Be, Close To You’ by the Carpenters. 

She had told him later, that she subliminally suggested the lyrics and concepts for the song, into the lead singer's dream one night. 

And after the pair had dinner together, Sera had led them to a cloud to watch the live performance from above. 

Adam had no words at the time, and buried his face in Sera's shoulder even though he totally wasn't embarrassed or tearing up or anything like that. 

“I'm still waiting for your answer, Adam”. 

Her words brought him out of his musings, as he looked to see her own face was blushing as well. 

He looked at her, before he sighed. “......Figures that I've got the one woman in all of Heaven that knows all my weaknesses”. Without another word spoken, he took her hand, and stepped towards her. 

She gently clasped his other hand, and they met close in the center. Their bodies moved together, as they gently swayed to the rhythm of the music. 

♪ On The Day That You Were Born, The Angels Got Together,

And Decided To Create A Dream Come True.

So They Sprinkled Moondust In Your Hair Of Gold , 

And Starlight In Your Eyes Of Blue ♪

As they stepped back and forth, Adam couldn't help but look softly up on Sera. 

She looked back at him, with nothing short of care and love. “I wasn't kidding when I said I owed you an apology, Adam”. 

“I still don't get why you're apologizing, Soft Serve.” He sighed before looking down somberly. “I'm the dickhole who just….ugh. I can't believe I couldn't take a hint”. 

Mwah!

He blinked in surprise as he felt Sera’s lips on his forehead. Looking up at the taller Angel, he only saw an equally somber smile. 

“Adam. You weren't the only one who wasn't acting their best”. A breath left her lips as her shoulders sagged. “I should've just told you. Talked to you. Let you know that I didn't care about the grand over the top gestures”. 

Leaning down as they continued to glide across the floor, she tucked a strand of Adam's hair away as she cupped his cheek. “What I cared about was that you remembered each and every time. Even when I would forget, you still managed to make it a day worth remembering”. 

The puppy eyes that Adam flashed her was enough to rival Emily's when she wanted an extra cupcake from the bakery. “Really? You sure I wasn't just being a buzzkill?”.

Sera’s head craned back as she couldn't help but laugh from the depth of her heart. She leaned forward again and kissed him on the nose this time before looking him kindly in the eye. “I’m sure. If anything, I was killing it by being the buzz for things in our relationship”. 

“That's not even how those words work, but I love you too fucking much to care” Adam whispered before he flapped his wings so he could carry Sera several feet in the air. Putting her in the bridal carry, he looked at Sera with absolute devotion and desire. “C’mere Sera. Get loved on, you big tall bird baddie”. 

As they kissed, the white spotlight above them turned a vibrant pink, as winged pink hearts began to flutter from around the room. 

Just as the pair pulled apart, Adam heard the distinct sound of a trumpet along with the guitar that was playing. 

He and Sera looked over, to see St Peter using said trumpet to perform the horn solo of the song, as Lute, Ava & Jophiel carried the song's final chorus. 

♪ Whoa-oa, Close To You.

Whoa-oa, Close To You.

Ah, Close To You.

Whoa-oa, Close To You ♪

“Tch. Damn goofballs. Being so helpful, and amazing” Adam scoffed with a pout. 

This got a giggle out of Sera, as she wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing his neck again. “We're lucky to have them. Just like I'm lucky to have you”. 

“Heh. Well if you say so, Soft Serve”. 

As Jophiel's magic rained down around the restaurant, Adam and Sera kissed once again in the air as Adam's wings kept them suspended.

Seraphiel Mater was many things. 

Perfect, wasn't one of them. 

But she was happy. 

Happy to have a mission, that was as just as it was noble. 

Happy to have friends and family who cared enough to do the things she fought against, but needed in the end.

And she was happy to be connected to Adam. 

Connected to him, through...

‪‪❤︎‬ T he Ties That Bind. ‪‪ ❤︎‬

Chapter Text

…

“F…..sh……”

…

“Ridic-lou-.......tra-h….”

‘...Oh fuck….my h-head’

“-And it smells like balls….fucking everywhere!”

‘What the….who is-’

“Even the fucking whorehouses smell like balls!....Wait, whorehouses?...Shit. Now I feel stupid. I guess that one's on me”.

Warrance Tennson wasn't unfamiliar with waking up in strange places. When you drank as much ‘Beelzebub-bourbon’ as he did, you got used to the horrific headaches and horrendous hangovers. 

But the fact that there was barbed wire wrapped around him with blood leaking from his twitching nose was something that immediately made his eyes widen. 

“But hey, you know what they say. It's not an L if nobody's watching-”

“Who said that? Show ya self!” Warrance demanded as he began hacking and coughing deeply. 

His drinking of Hellborne crafted liquor had taken its toll. Immortality didn't mean perfect health, after all.

“Oh shit!!!!” The masculine voice said suddenly. “You're awake….hm. Usually when I knock people out, they tend to black out for a day or two. You know, because I'm kinda strong as shit”. 

His floppy rabbit ears immediately twitched in the direction of the offending voice. “I don't give a rat's ass how strong you is!” He barked out. He tried to roll himself off of his face, but he wasn't given much leeway. His mungy grey Confederate uniform was now stained in blood other than his, instead of the liquor it usually was. “Show yerself!!!”. 

A quick kick caused him to roll over, making him wince as the glare of the hanging Pentagram in the sky above shined in his still adjusting eyes. Gritting his yellowed buck teeth, he had no choice but to endure such treatment. His aggressor was nothing but a silhouette crouching above him. 

“Oh right. Because that's totally what you do with your raping, Warrs”. 

His beady orange eyes widened, as his mouth dried out. “W-what? What are you blabberin’ on about? You kidnapped me!!! I-I ain't done nothing to you!”. 

“Oh, but the rapes you totally did do right? In the alleyways between Cannibal Town and the southern district?”

Warrance felt shocked. 

Not only did this person know his nickname in life and amongst the other wrongfully killed Heroes of the War of Northern Aggression & Good Ole Boys in the corner trailer park of the City, but he knew his harmless hobby too? “I…I don't know what ya-GAH”.

He was cut off as he was suddenly kicked again.

Hard. 

Sent flying, his body slammed against a metal shelf, before he roughly landed down on an empty tire of all things. The blood soaking his mange patched brown fur was already obscuring his vision. But his uniform cap had fallen off as he blinked through the blood and pain.

“Hahaha no. Call it what you want, I don't fucking care. You and I both know you camp out in those alleys, you wait until you see anything remotely feminine that's either lost or desperate for shelter, and then brutally take what you want from them”

An equal amount of frustration and fear filled him at this. “Fuck you! Ya following me, ya son of a whore??”.

“Uh yeah. No shit, dimwit”. 

The sounds of metal dragging filled his limp ears, as he finally was able to look through the sweat & blood. And to his shock, he witnessed something that was even more horrific than what he witnessed at the battle of Antietam. 

Surrounding him were bodies. 

Calling them bodies wouldn't even be right. 

They were what used to be bodies. 

All around him were jagged soulless black corpses that more resembled lifeless roots of a gnarled dark tree, than anything that had once been alive. 

Each and every one of them lacked anything resembling bones, appearing as if they were solidly carved from a material manmade. They were whole….but not whole. 

One body had its jaw stretched down to its stomach, empty black eye sockets sloping down to its cheeks in horror.

Another corpse had its head sinking into its neck to where it could be seen inward of its chest cavity. 

These were just what Warrance could make out before-

Bleeeeeeggghhhh!

He vomited all over himself. 

This was nothing like the horrors of war. 

The terrors of Pentagram City were peanuts compared to what he was seeing now. 

The bodies laid around carelessly. Without a single care in the world. Some were obviously tossed away, and others had the same barbed wire that he was trapped in. Everything was spinning for Warrace. His stomach had done several flips all at once and his breathing picked up. As he panted, he was also subjected to the horrific odor surrounding him. 

It smelled worse than death. It had no scent, but it made him dry heave as if he was smelling a swamp of death and decay. 

He could barely steady his breathing, as his stomach was trying to force up vomit that wasn't there. 

This was wrong. 

This was horrible. 

He was afraid and wanted to go back to the trailer park. 

“Heh. What's wrong, Warrs? You look like you've seen the consequences of your own actions” the voice said, before he loomed over him. 

Click click

Warrance flinched at the sound, as he looked down at his wire trappings to see…

‘Jumper cables?’ he thought in confusion. He had heard of jumper cables from some of the younger punks at the park, and knew of their use from jumping cars and torturing people. But he couldn't understand why they were here of all places.

“L-look! I-im sorry! What I did to them girlies what wrong!!!” He desperately emphasized. His tune was changed, as he poured as much false sympathy as he could muster. 

“I mean sure, I guess. I don't really care about these fuckers either way” the figure said, dragging over a large barrel. 

“I-I mean it!!!! It was plum wrong! I know that now! I just l-lived a hard life! My paw was never around when I was a y-youngin!!!!”. His voice crackled with pure desperation.

“Ahahaha! Oh man, seriously! That's rich! ‘Aw mah pee-paw never taught me not to stick mah pecker where it didn't belong, I tell ya hwhat’!!” The man mocked, walking over next to the tire Warrance sat. 

It was then, Warrance saw the true horror of his current situation. 

Laying against the outside of the rough shack, were roughly 100 other sinners. They were all unconscious one way or another, with some bleeding from the head, missing their limbs, or just pinned in place with tentpoles. 

They all were bound in place, they all were slumped over, and they all had welded jumper cables connecting them by the wire.

“Jesus H Christ what the fuck are ya gonna do to me?????!!!!” Warrance cried out in genuine fear as tears poured from his eyes. His thick beard was soaked with his bile and tears as he futilely tried to break free of the Angelic Steel barbed wire bounding him. 

Unfortunately for him, the man wasn't interested in an explanation. He simply attached the other end of the fused jumper cables to the barrel before him, and stretched his arms up. “Nope. Little bro isn't here, he doesn't care, and he can't save you”. 

The man ran a hand through his red hair, before clearing his throat. “Alright. Let's get this shit show on the road”. Biting his hand, black blood poured from the wound as it filled a bowl atop the barrel. 

Warrance couldn't even hear what he was yelling out anymore. All he knew was that he was finally being victimized in the same way he had preyed upon women himself. 

Tears. 

Tears and fear is what left him, as he lost control of his bowels.

★ סדר שבירה ★

As the words left the horned man's mouth, crimson flames lit the entire barrel on fire. 

The blood in the bowl caused the flames to shift, as they became unnaturally angular. They moved more like fluid crystal, as they took a dark tinge to them. 

Immediately, the flames raced down the cables to the first Sinner at the farthest end of the area surrounding them. A jaguar Sinner with a feather headdress and a tiger pelt on his waist that was pinned to the ground via a large rebar. 

And despite being utterly comatose and unmoving….he screamed. 

He didn't move a single inch from his position, yet a deep scream left his body. A red colored phantom matching the male's proportions thrashed and wailed, as it looked like it was trapped similar to the Sinner. It flailed, trying to tear itself from his form like a figure trapped inside a rubber mask. 

And soon, the flames spread down the connecting cables to a Sewing Machine sinner with flowing a puce dress, and she let out a wail that only deepened. 

The ground began shaking as the flames spread further and further down the lines. 

More of the comatose sinners screamed, and cried out. They sounded as if they were drowning in their own blood, and it terrified Warrance even more than when his father would come back home drunk, and almost break down his door just to beat him. 

Driven to the depths of fear and horror that he didn't know it was possible to fear, Warrance did the only thing he thought would help. “A-amazing grace h-how sweet the s-sound, to s-s-s-s-save a wretch like meAGGAHAHGHG-”

By the time the flames had touched him, his eyes had closed and he felt an ache in his jugular. 

He recalled two distinct memories. 

Being handed to the midwife, as they wept over the death of the mother that had just given birth to him. 

And the knife from a Union soldier who had snuck up on him, when he was trying to trap a rabbit to feed himself after he had deserted his platoon and brothers in arms. 

Adam stared down at the remains of the Confederate rabbit sinner. 

His clothing had burned to even less than cinders, and his body was exactly like that of the other 665 sinner bodies that he had done this ritual too. 

His flesh was black. 

His form was slumped. 

And his soul had been utterly ripped from his body by a power he couldn't ever hope to understand.

Ptooh!

“Gutless cuntwipe” he muttered, as he spat to the side. He let out a sigh, as he manifested a glowing pair of sinew draconic wings behind him to wave away the scent of infernal magic around him and burnt sin. 

All around Adam, were corpses of Sinners that he had used in his ritual. These were just the recent ones, as even his isolated shack on the isolated outer end of Pentagram City was getting crowded with the corpses. 

So he did what he could to remove them.

Tossing them off cliffs. 

Throwing them into the windows of businesses owned by Sinners.

Hurling Molotov cocktails against piles of the bodies to try burning them away. 

But that was neither here nor there. “Ugh. Finally” he sighed as he made his way back over to the barrel. “I was getting even more sick of these shitstains than I already was”. Approaching the top of the barrel, he witnessed a pile of ash that used to be the bowl. And as he ran a deep grey hand with crimson claws through the ashes, he plucked out a small curve. 

A small glowing red curve that wasn't even half as long as his pinkie. 

It looked like a broken handle of a coffee mug, that was dimly glowing with pulsating red energy. The small curve glowed strangely, as it almost seemed to absorb his black colored blood in his palm.

“....Freaky” he shrugged, before he lit a flame in his palm. 

Sssssssss

Channeling his demonic magic, he allowed his usually chaotic flames to encompass his hands for the purpose of cauterizing his flesh closed. In the blink of an eye, his powerfully hot flames had sealed his cut closed. 

He could have just allowed his Sinner enhanced healing to come to work…but his mind was clouded by thoughts that he deserved the self inflicted pain he brought himself this way.

Stretching his arms up, he grunted as several popping noises were heard from his 13’5 tall form. As his head looked up to the massive ugly ass Pentagram in the sky, he couldn't help but mull over for the hundredth time what brought him here. 

He was dust. 

He was purified dust molded in his Father's hands. 

He was born pure. 

He was born beautiful. 

He was blessed with a kingdom, a duty to name beasts of the earth, and anything that would last him and his descendants an eternity of pleasure and goodness from the Father who crafted him from love and dust. 

…….And then it all got royally fucked in the asshole with a flaming palm tree. 

From an Angelic groomer, to a bitchy feminist in the making, to a conspiracy that cost him everything that was promised him. 

And even living on the harshness of a newborn Earth didn't bring him long lasting joy. 

The death of his son…..the betrayal of the woman closest to his heart…….the weight of supporting the future of his entire species on his back, every day he crafted a mud brick and hauled the stack over his back to help expand his budding village. 

When he was decrepit and old, he genuinely hoped that he would go back to dust. Dust that his father would hold and comfort in his hands as he once did. 

He genuinely didn't expect to show up in Heaven, fit as a fiddle, and with a pair of wings. 

There were good times. 

Great times. 

He even found another woman who…he let close to his heart. It was different from what he had in Eden. It was a friendship that he didn't expect, but was thankful to his Father for. 

She was his kickass partner in-crime, and she was his best friend. 

Whether it was him gossiping to her as she did his paperwork for him, or hiding in the bushes with her after throwing expired butter at a sleeping Lilith on the beach, they were two sides of each other's coin. 

He enjoyed nothing more than watching her roll her eyes at him first thing in the morning as they walked to work, and seeing her hide her smile as they fist bumped and parted ways to head home every afternoon after work. 

When Sera had confided in him about her worry of mounting trouble in Hell, he jumped to action. 

He trained his army of Exorcists day in and day out. He gave them the best Angelic Steel that Heaven had to offer. He proudly gave his most trusted confidant of his the position of Lieutenant, making sure she knew that she was the only one he trusted to have his back. 

For thousands of years, shit was sweet. 

Lucifucker was backed into a political corner, and had agreed to a deal that let Heaven cull the rabid dogs that Lucifer himself didn't care about. 

…And just like every time things were high in his life, they came crashing down. 

Especially in the form of a pussy-prodding princess with a gold spoon shoved up her cunt who couldn't leave well enough alone. 

He underestimated her. He didn't think she had what it took to dismantle Seven years of precedent, logic, and the status quo. 

But from having the Exterminations exposed, to having to march down with his girls to correct the mistake that was Lucifailure’s crotchspawn, things had spun out of control. 

…He had her neck in his grasp. 

15 pounds of pressure. 

That's all it would've taken, he could've snapped her neck, thrown her body to the side and gone to help his boss babe finish the one-eyed failure of an Exorcist. 

But then he showed up. 

Playing the hero. 

Playing the father. 

Lucifer Morningstar.

Playing as if he was some morally righteous fucker who hadn't taken everything from him, when he had trusted him and the other angels to watch over him in Eden. 

It was a blur of emotions, of blood, and pain. Before he knew it. He was on all fours and coughing up blood. Just when he was getting ready to spit an insult to the daddy-daughter dumbasses, it happened…

That carpet munching one eyed failure of an Exorcist that never should have survived…had tossed it down in front of him. 

Tossed her down in front of him. 

He couldn't feel anything. 

His body was on autopilot. 

All he knew was that tears were pouring as he crawled forward desperately to cradle the decapitated head in front of him. 

The head of his best friend, his top bitch, his light that gave his afterlife meaning…Lute. 

Lifeless, and covered in golden blood as one of her eyes was cut out of its socket in a bitter twist of brutal irony.

All the misery from his life, and the depression he had been holding from his afterlife crashed down upon him. 

The strong back that bore the weight of his species for 900 years broke under the weight of such misery, as he screamed and charged towards Lucifer like a wild animal. 

It was his fault he lost Eden. 

It was his fault that he suffered on Earth. 

And it was his fault that his sanctimonious daughter was born into the world that Adam’s Father had created, and the world that he had practically raped with his conspiracies and atteocities that plagued Adams people. 

But even then he was denied the bitter balm of revenge as he rushed forward with a feral enraged scream, a reluctant golden trident pierced his chest with a shocked instinctiveness from its empathetic wielder. 

He felt….nothing. 

Everything began to fade. 

He didn't see some grand rewind of his entire life, or some massive epiphany of how his life should have been lived. 

One moment he was coldly impaled, and the next moment he had woken up in an isolated wasteland in the Pride Ring.

When he had awoken, he had seen the new form of his now sinner body. 

He had seen the literal shining newly built Hotel in the distance. 

…..And he screamed. 

Not his best moment. Probably 2nd place for his worst moment if he really thought about it. 

‘Which I fucking don't want to’ he thought bitterly. 

The shitty walk down memory lane, was ignored for a literal walk away from Adams ramshackle dilapidated shack of residence where he laid his head to gain some sort of privacy from the rest of Pentagram City. As he headed further towards a large canyon a ways away, he summoned a ball of hellflame…

And casually tossed it behind him.

The ball immediately flew at high speeds as it targeted the shack that Adam had made his home for the last month. 

THKOOM!!!

The shack made of scrapped wood, a thatched roof, poorly placed bricks and several tires was immediately consumed in an explosion of black and red flames. 

“Been wanting to do that for fucking ages” he muttered, brushing a stray piece of glass off his shoulder. 

As he walked further away, Adam was surely a sight to behold. 

Standing 14 feet in height, he was several inches taller than his height as an Archangel. His skin was now a deep charcoal grey, and he was more fit than in his time in Heaven. His body still healed a stocky shape to it, but there was clear muscle definition to it. 

‘Having to fight off every type of evil shitfucker from Rapists to Pagans for 19 hours every day tends to fucking keep a motherfucker in shape’ he growled internally.

Unlike his time in life and in Heaven, he had a shaggy spiky scalp of red hair on his head. It was clumsily slicked back with nothing but blood and sweat, and seemed to naturally form around the dual pairs of dragon horns on his head. 

The first pair was stark black, and curved slightly backwards from the top of his head. They vaguely resembled the horns on his helmet back when he was in Heaven. The second pair was a dull golden, as they originated from just above his ears while curving downwards. 

“Just when I thought I couldn't get more fucked over. I look like a bluehaired starbucks addicted gender studies major’s wet dream….ugh” he cringed, to himself. He couldn't help but instinctively scratch as his bushy red goatee. 

Part of him was still struggling to resist the urge to scratch at his colorless grey skin. To scratch at it, in the hopes of revealing his usual toneless skin of his life and afterlife. For days after falling, he drew blood as he scratched as far as he could reach. 

Through the tears…

Through the vomiting…

He just couldn't stop scratch scratch SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCHING-

He quickly shook those self-hating thought guys from his mind, growling to himself. “Fuck off. Get your damn head in the game”. He blinked tiredly, as his golden slitted eyes tried their hardest to avoid looking at himself. 

His large scaled tail dragged on the ground behind him.

His raggedy large coat that was crudely sewn from whatever scraps and cloth he could manage to steal and root through the flaming dumpsters in Pentagram City. 

As he came to a large cliff, he sighed deeply. Looking at the glowing crimson piece of forbidden Hell magic in clawed hand, he rolled his shoulders tiredly. “Fuck me in the ear. I hope that this works, or at least fucking kills me without a chance for me to regenerate”. 

Reaching into the only pocket that he managed to sew onto his clothes, he pulled a large crimson circle out. It was the size of a frisbie, and was hollow like a ring.

It was a dull faded red, yet he could feel a strange warmth in the hand that held it. 

Even looking deeply at it, he could see something moving within the ring. The first time he took a deep hard look at it close to his face, he saw…..screams of the wicked and joyful cries of the unborn. 

…

He hadn't taken another close look at it since. 

It was almost a fully complete circle, but it had a natural break in the lower edge of the circle. 

A break that was the exact size of the glowing red piece in his other hand. 

“I'm all for fucking up these dick holes in loser town….but why the fuck did I even make this in the first place?” He sighed, holding the two separate pieces.

He didn't remember when he had the dream, since he tried his damnest not to sleep. He was only given night terrors of his worst moments, and dreams so good that they made him scream and weep when he realized that they were just dreams. 

But he had that dream regardless. 

Sinners. 

Agony. 

Black blood & crimson flames. 

Hundreds and hundreds of Sinners that became less than nothing. 

And at the center? A crimson ring that glowed even brighter than the most pure metals of Heaven. 

It floated in the burning hellscape of his dream. It spoke to him without words. It was the source of the Sinner's anguish, and a voiceless voice spoke wordless words to him in a language he didn't recognize but could understand all the less.

⛥⛥⛥⛥⛥⛥

6 Slew

⛥

Sinners Made Nevermore

⛥

Black Bl00od Spilled

⛥

DeEfy Th€ BarRIER

⛥

Carry-A///D∆mned Cr°wn

⛥

Ș̶̑£̵̰̆£̷̭͐ķ̵͂̕ ̵̳̩̅Ṫ̷͔̔ͅH̸̦̑͜ȅ̵͚͜ ̴̭͂D̸̰̈́̌Ũ̵͖͚̿A̶̞̳͝L̴̯̩̂̽ ̷͙̜̓F̷̗̙͒͊Ã̸̻̽C̷͚̄͜3̵̡̬̉͛D̶̦̮͝͝ ̷̮͕͒D̴̩͚͠R̵̨͉̀̎ȁ̸̧A̶̲̫̍̍a̵̹̤͊͠Ĝ̸͙0̴̰̒̆n̸̺̹͐̅

⛥⛥⛥⛥⛥⛥

He woke up bleeding black colored blood of all things from his mouth, nose and eyes. 

He was actually scared shitless, for the first time in his life since he was almost eaten by a fucking giant shark, on Earth.  

…..But he became obsessed. 

With the dream, with the crimson crown, with the forbidden primeval Hell magic that he had discovered through trial and error. 

He luckily had a surplus of Sinners to work with. 

Every Red Army Sinner strapped down to figure out the limits of their regeneration, with non-Angelic Steel knives and blades. 

Every bonfire of bound Viking Berserker sinners lit on fire with Hellflame & Acetone, to discover what extent Sinner corpses could endure, before their bodies were unrecognizable ashes. 

The souls of each and all backstabbing Ottoman Vizier Sinner that he personally ripped out of their bodies, to see just how long they could cling to their “immortality”, with their souls just barely a stones throw away. 

….He didn't regret it. Not a single one of them. 

Not only was it better than the Sinners gave their victims, but it kept him busy enough to where he didn't have to sleep much, eat, or dwell on the misery that was his Hell. 

But through being covered in the mud and blood, he pushed to the crimson fields beyond. 

After killing 111 Sinners all at once in a specific ritual involving his Hellflame and his black blood, he gained 1/6th of a crimson ring. 

He had no fucking idea what it was. 

He tried smashing it, eating it, and he even tried blowing up using claymores with Angelic Steel ball bearings. 

….Nothing. 

It was utterly indestructible. So he did it again. With 111 more Sinners. 

The flames came, the bodies warped, and he got another portion of a ring. Obviously Sinners began to notice him from his hunting grounds, so he had to lay low and wait for them to forget about the ‘robed dragon fuck grabbing people up’. 

And now here he was. 

666 Sinners later, and no expectations.

Standing on the edge of a cliff, holding the big piece and the little piece. 

“....Heh…Hahah…AhahahAHAHAHA!” he cackled after a moment. His tail immediately slammed down onto the cliff behind him, sending red sparks and stone flying. 

Crash!

His loud cackling echoed out, as he laughed madly to the point of tears. Several minutes passed, until he blinked tiredly. “....I keep forgetting. I can't believe I can never get this in my fucking head”. Looking at both red pieces in his hands, he smiled somberly. 

His hands had scars. Scars that he had intentionally let happen through attacks of Angelic Steel weapons. 

Scars he had cauterized with Hellflame, so that the pain would ache for days, and keep him grounded when he would hallucinate a better world.

“No matter what batshit crazy dream I have…no matter how many of these godless losers I kill……no matter how many times I cry myself to sleep I don't want…I'm still in Hell”. His calloused black hands had numerous scars from the magic and Angelic Steel that the Sinners wielded against him.

He long stopped trying to guard against them. A twisted part of him even welcomed the attacks and blows. He simply moved like a possessed monster using his speed and strength to overwhelm his enemies. He took all manner of attacks, using his own durability to tank the blows. 

….Maybe that same twisted part of him hoped that some lucky chucklefuck would have the bullet that killed him. 

A shaky sigh left his lips, and he let his shoulders sag. “Might as well cram these pieces together. I hope there's an explosion big enough to fuck over me and that shitty ‘dyke-a-dozen’ Hotel” he chuckled bitterly. “Well, no time like the present”. 

He held the pieces apart before gently pushing them-

Only for the pieces to jump together like Magnets. 

“Woah! Okay, that's something-”

And then the ring slammed into his head, and wrapped around his forehead as it weighed him down like an anchor chain.

“Ow OwOW OW!!!!! FUCK! DICKS!!! DIIIIIIIIICKS!!!!!!” He cursed, before stumbling. His hands clawed at his forehead, as he felt an awful burning sensation at the depths of his soul. “FUCKING SHITSTEAK SON OF A IRISH ISALNDER GUTTER SHEEL WHORE!!!!! AGHHH, GET! OFF! MEE!!!!” he roared. 

He dug his claws deep into his flesh, spilling his black blood in a futile attempt to pull the burning ring of magic that kept tightening further and further around his skull. 

His vision blurred. 

He saw black empty faces of all his enemies. 

Lilith.

Lucifer. 

Vaggie. 

Charlie FUCKING Morningstar.

All laughing at him, pointing and surrounding him as he was on the verge of death, and powerless to do anythin-

No. 

No fucking more.

He was SICK. 

SICK and fucking tired of being fucking SICK and tired. 

He was done weeping in his own misery like a fucking loser. 

He WASN'T some Sinner. He was BETTER! He was BEAUTIFUL! He was a rough and tough BASTARD who would rip this Hellhole a new CUNT without any regret. 

“I…am…not….going to let them beat me!” he grit out, as he rose on shaky legs. His face was filled with fury, as his hair and goatee moved like living red flames. His horns splintered like wood, and formed jagged edges. His tail slammed against the ground and formed a black spiked bone flail at the end, with black blades jutted from his spine down his tail. 

A matching pair of golden eyes formed under his main pair as they glowed with burning gold contempt, and a pair of glowing red spectral wings expanded into existence behind him.

“It's…Not…Over!!!!”

Crshhh!

He jammed his claws into his own skull, as black blood sprayed freely. Both hands grabbed the tightening ring, and pulled. 

It cracked, and he pulled. 

He bled, and he pulled. 

Red rage consumed his vision. 

He. Fucking. Pulled. 

“Its..Not…Over…UNTIL I FUCKING WIN!!!!!”

The ring around his head shattered.

The weight on his body disappeared.

And the last of his self loathing burned. 

Even as he was panting on his knees, his eyes were wide at what he was witnessing. 

FWEEW!

YIIIEV!

SHRRUN!

Crimson wisps encircled around him. Apparently the ring had burned into vague glowing wisps, instead of being destroyed. They spun faster and faster, to the point where they blurred into a massive ring. 

“What the actual fuck-” he dared to mutter, but even that was silenced by the impending shock. 

VRUMMMN!

VRUUuuumn!

Vrumn…!

The wisps stopped moving, before they flowed and shaped themselves right above his head. Carefully avoiding his horns, they formed into a solid hollow circle. Silently above his head, the crimson light struck five points in the Halo, before forming a Pentagram very much like that one in the sky above the city. 

…

…

“What in the ass?”. Flicking the halo above his head, Adam felt confusion. “All that killing, crying and nights where I could yank my dick, and all I got is this stupid ass Halo???? In Hell???? A Hell Halo- wait. Actually that name is kinda cool”. While he stroked his chin curiously, his halo glowed bright. Each of the five points began glowing, along with the center. 

Ding!

And a glowing red circle the size of a hand mirror formed in front of his face. The circle had six small circles on the outer edges, with a single larger circle at the center. 

Adam blinked. 

He was quiet. 

The ring floated silently. 

His lips were pursed, and he raised a claw to poke at the floating circle. 

[Pride Ring]

Words formed in the center of the center circle, and he saw a moving image that showed Pentagram City, with a display showing the shitty new Hotel and Lucifer's castle in the background. 

“Wha- did I somehow pull a fucking satellite TV out of my ass???”. He definitely didn't understand what he was seeing, and he dragged his claw across the screen-

The entire background changed around him. 

“oooOOOOOOWHATTHEFUUUUCK???” He cried out in a masculine not girly scream. Stumbling for a moment, he rose to his feet upon the concrete dam wall-

…

“Wait wait Wait A Fucking Minute!!!”. Looking behind him, Adam saw a literal dam of Green sludge runoff that was being filled from pipes. And in front of him, was a suburban sprawl that was very different from the shitty red of Pentagram City. This in turn, was a shitty puke green. He saw houses, highways, a lot of warehouses and smokestacks polluting the green sky above. 

“Green sky….green sky?...WOAH, A GREEN FUCKING SKY? AM I HIGH ON SLOTH RING BATHSALTS???!!!!”. But no amount of slapping himself or pinching his nipples through his coat, would make the drastically different landscape disappear. Dragging his hands down his face, he could only look bewildered. “Fuck. Don't tell me I got shanked in a sex alley and was sent to Super Hell”. 

Ding!

Yet the familiar ringing sound brought him back to the circle floating near him. Now the main center circle had a green sky, with smokestacks and an urban sprawl. And above the circle were the words that made everything click. 

[Greed Ring]

…

…

“Aha…..ahaha”

It was the most genuine sound that he didn't think he was capable of making anymore. 

“Ahah…..ahahaha…”

A sound that he thought was only reserved for when he felt himself going fucking insane. 

“Ahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

A sound of honest, true, welcomed laughter. 

“I did it…I FUCKING DID IT! I'M OUT OF ‘RED SHITHOLE #1’!!!!”. He gripped his own upper horns in disbelief, as true tears of joy craped down his face. “FUCK YEAH BABY! I AM OUTTA HERE!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA-Ack!”. 

The occasion was one to cheer for, but the pollution and smog-heavy atmosphere made him cough deeply. He hacked, and wheezed, and had to cover his nose as the smell of infernal industrialization hit him like a retarded gorilla. With his hands covering his nose, he sneered at the green realm around him. “Ho fuck! Thats fucking horrible! It almost makes me want to go back to fucking tampon-town”. 

Ignoring the smell as much as he could, he swiped the circle again-

And was standing on the same crimson cliff as before. 

Checking his surroundings, he confirmed that he once again was in the Pride Ring. “Holy shit! Hoooly shit!”. His hands ran through his messy hair in utter wonder, and his sharp teeth grew in a feral smile. “I'm free baby! This fuckin Hell Halo is like a free pass to pass my ass through all the other rings!!!!”. 

The knowledge that all his experiments, ventures and efforts in the shit shack of a house, actually were leading to this moment. It was nothing short of the greatest moment of Adam's new afterlife in Hell. 

And naturally, he took the appropriate steps to celebrate his newfound freedom. 

“HEY LUCIFER! FUCK YOU BITCH!!!!!”. A hand reached down to his crotch, and gripped it provocatively with a shit eating from on his face. “FUCK YOU LUCIFER!!!!! FUCK YOUR DAUGHTER, FUCK YOUR UGLY ASS KINGDOM, AND SNORT THE PISS OUT OF MY LEFT NUT!!!!!!”. Dual middle fingers were cast out, in the vague direction of what he assumed was Lucifer's castle. “SUCK MY 20 INCH DICK, LOSERFER!!!!!”. 

“HEY, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”

The sudden voice responding to him made his eyes widen. Adam looked around the empty rocky canyon, but didn't see anyone. “What does it matter who I am! I wasn't talking to you, bitch!!!!!!” He called out in return, while slightly confused at the source of the echoing voice. 

“YOU SAID ‘FUCK YOU LOU’!!!!”

“Who the fuck is Lou???” He frowned, as both their voices echoed out. 

“I AM! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING FUCK ME FOR??!!!”

In seconds, the understanding hit him like a sock full of nickels. “Wha? No! I said LUCIFER! Like, the fucking 2 foot tall asshole who running this shitty fuckhole into the ground! You know, he’s like walking pussy repellent and probably isn't the biological father of his own daughter!”

“Oh…OHHHHH! YEAH, I HEAR YOU! FUCK LUCIFER! THAT GUY SUCKS WRINKLED TESTICLES!!!”

Even this random Demon in Pride, understood the reasonable logical contempt to have towards Lucifer. “Ha! Hell yeah man! Sorry for the mix up!”

“DONT EVEN STRESS IT! HE'S OUR ENEMY NOW!!!!”. 

Without another word, Adam flew high into the air on his glowing demon wings. And with a massive burst of Hellflame, he flew right down to the rocky bottom of the cliff. 

For the first time in months, he didn't feel like flying into the ground to try killing himself. 

“Heh! Fuck that depression shit! Sounds like a skill issue to me”. Instead he grinned, saw his Hell Halo, and he raised his hand. “Let's take this bitching thang for spin! Time to set the playlist to ‘shuffle’!”

Ding!

Without looking, he swiped the display randomly, just as he was several feet away from impacting the red ground of Pride. 

And within the blink of an eye, he instead got a faceful of purple ocean mist as he was now about 50 feet above the churning purple waves unfamiliar to him. 

“FUCK YEAH BABY!” He whooped. He splayed his wings out wide, catching the ocean air current as it launched him back high into the air. Looking around, he saw a massive natural ocean of purple water, and viewed towering natural spires of coral jutting from the waves. “AHAHA! EXCUSE ME WHILE I RAWDOG THE SHIT OUT OF THE SKY!!! WOOOOOOO!!!”. 

He moved with the maneuverability of someone who was born their whole life with wings, and not just someone who gained them in both their afterlives. 

Not even sparing a second glance, he wove through the coral spires that stretched into the air. As he saw his vague reflection in the waters surface, he gently lowered his hand to the surface-

RAAGHOMP!!!!

Only to yank his hand away and flap his wings up within half a second of a Titanic shelled Hellcrustaceon jumping out of the water to try biting him whole.

“Ha! I'm not even mad! But you're going to have to try harder than that, bucko! I was dodging megalodons in the Atlantic back before boats even existed!!!!!”. He whooped as he shot into the air above. 

The cool mist against his face…

A lack of heat surrounding him…

Freedom…

It just felt right. Right in a way he didn't dare feel since falling to Hell. 

Not even a moment passed before he inhaled and breathed.

Really breathed. 

“...Man”. He let his eyes close softly, as they opened again in a truly relaxed state half lidded. “I don't even know what to say to all this. Not even sure which fuckall ring I'm in. But hopefully it's one that's far away from skinny John Wayne Gacey and his clam clutching daught-OH SHIT!!!!!!!!”

It appeared that Adam's moral epiphany came at the worst possible time. He didn't notice that he was heading right towards land. He didn't see that there was a giant lighthouse-esque blue castle nestled on the coast of the land continent. 

And he really didn't fucking see the window that he crashed into until it was too late. 

CRAAAASH!!!!

The black colored glass hit him right in the face, as it shattered to pieces due to his flight speed. After that he slammed into another two walls, a seashell shaped door, a bookshelf, and around 14 feet of an Angelic Steel enforced soundproof wall. 

“OW!”

CRASHHH!!!

“OWOWOWOW!”

CRASH!! KLINK!!!

“FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!”

BOOM! KEERSKH!!! BANG! THOOM!!!!

“I CHANGED MY-OW FUCKING MIND!!!!”

CRUNK!!! 

“I-OW I HATE ALL OF FUCKING HELL-OW!”

CRASH KRAK THUNK!!!!

“MY FUCKING BALLS! FUCK!!!!!”

Around a dozen humanoid-wing shaped holes would be seen in the walls and doors of the ‘Sinful Sea Spire’ castle. 

But after several minutes of interior destruction, Adam would finally freefall down for about 50 feet. As luck would have it, he wouldn't fall to his death. 

SPLAAASHHH! 

As he gasped to the surface, he coughed out the sweet smelling water in his lungs, as he treaded water. To his pained shock, the water around him was warm. Comfortably hot even. “Oh fuck! I think I swallowed one of my ribs!” He wheezed in pain. 

His Hell Halo was dented, but immediately reshaped itself back into pristine condition. And he felt his body slowly regenerating. “Thank fuck I heal better than most of the losers in- wait…..is this soap???”. Blinking in surprise, he looked around and realized that it wasn't sea foam surrounding him in massive floating piles. It was pink soap suds. 

A frown covered his dark face, in genuine confusion. “What the hell kind of weird ass backwards oceans do they have in this asscrack in the ground? The fuck kind of Ocean has soap?”. 

“The kind that's actually a damn bathtub”

“Well who in Dads balls has a bathtub…..this……big”. He trailed off slowly as he realized that there was not only a very large menacing baritone voice…..but it was right behind him. 

Even though they were damp with water, he splayed his wings like fins to usher himself around in the apparent ocean of bath water. And what he saw briefly made his brain malfunction. 

He was currently in a room that was more massive than the entire courtroom in Heaven. 

Pink seashell lights hung from the ceiling, casting an ironically peaceful light over the room. 

A large shelf of beauty products with Hell themed puns on the labels was to the wall on his right. 

A gigantic blue seas sponge, that was casually swaying inside of a small dish….likely used as an actual bathing sponge. 

A massive mirror on the wall that was bigger than the entire mansion of Adams, in heaven. 

And finally there was….a massive two headed female Demon nestled in the tub, with water coming to her waist and soap up to her bust. 

Her body was divided down the middle by color. The left side was a gentle blue-purple, and the right side was a creamy white. 

From between the shoulders, were the two necks of each head. 

The right head was of a female aquamarine demoness. She had fin-like ears, a glowing white and pastel pink bioluminescent hair that was wet with water, and black pointed eyelashes. She had a purple blush on her cheeks, as the right arm was attempting to cover both breasts, and her black sclera eyes were wide as her green pupils focused on him. 

The left head was much more monstrous…relatively. Her lengthy neck was craned down, and her blue purple head was reminiscent of a humanoid crocodile. Her jagged tooth jaw was gritted closed and eyes were a solid glowing green. Her own glowing hair was white and purple, as green lines and circles were placed around the nape. 

The latter of the two heads was not only very visibly angry…but it was staring directly at him.

Adam blinked. 

The right head blinked. 

The left head snorted out a blue smoke from its nostrils. 

…

…

“You can't actually see meeeee!” Adam moaned as he waved his hands in a pacifying but unusual way. “I'm not actually reeeeeal. You're just feeling guilty from that kid who you threw into a woodchipper, 20 years ago on christma-er….Sinmas day!...Ooooh, spooky spooky”. ‘Shit, I really hoped that worked’. 

“I'm going to fucking eat you, and I then spit you out, and throw you to the Hellsharks, before I dive into Envy’s ocean and eat one of them for dinner” growled the left head. 

Her words made him sweat deeply for the first time in about 9,100 years. ‘....Fuck. I definitely won't be able to luck my way out of surviving that. Looks like there's only one fucking way, to get out of this situation’ he pointed agreed internally.

“Hellsharks? I don't know, that's kind of high in calories. Not to mention how much mercury”. Without a shred of hesitation, he channeled his inner knowledge of female insecurity to expose a potential escape. 

“...You know, he's right Athan. That's a lot of empty calories”. The sudden turn of conversation made Athan blink. “Wha- Since when do you care about calories Levi??”. Seemingly unprepared for the question, Levi simply looked to the side and shrugged their shared shoulders. “I'm just saying is all. I mean, can't we like just wrap him in a sea anemone?”. 

“Tsk tsk tsk. That's no good either”. Floating amongst the movement in the water, Adam shook his head. 

“....Did you just say the actual words ‘Tisk’-”

“Nowadays, there's so many more healthy options. Like, you could eat giant crab wrapped in dried seaweed” he suggested. 

“Ooooh! I've always wanted to try crab wrapped dried seaweed!”. “We have! You hate seaweed Levi!!!!!”. “But not with hellcrab wrapped inside!!!!”. “WHY WOULD THE HELLCRAB MAKE IT ANY DIFFERENT???”.

The water in the tub splashed more, as the two argued and Adam began nonchalantly swimming away. “You know what? You two definitely should take time to research a possible Helliterranean diet. I'll just leave you two to your business-OOF!”. 

Yet a large purple clawed hand wrapping around him and tanking him to Athan’s eye level however, cut this plan short. 

“Oh no. You're not going anywhere!” she growled. The pools of neon green in her eyes glowed even more menacing, as they narrowed his way. “You're going to learn to regret invading the privacy of Leviathan of The Deadly Sins!!!!!!”. 

With voice booming, and fist shaking, Adam was wrung back and forth in her grip. “WOAAOOOAAOOH-wait wait wait. Leviathan???”. He shook the stray water from his head, and his eyes widened massively. Not in shock, not in fear, but in a distant recognition. 

This lack of fear puzzled Athan, but in an attempt to save face, she nodded with another snarl. “That's right, you poor excuse for a tadpole. Get ready to-”

“Holy fucking- you look crazy! I mean, crazy good! Like, you're not a giant fucking snake shark thing anymore!!!!!”

‘.....Did he just call us a fucking snake? I think he also called us hot too! Shut up, no he didn't!!!’ came the dual shared thoughts of Leviathan. “What the Hell are you talking about???....Are you even a Hellborne?”. Athan’s eyes narrowed, while Levi’s head cocked gently. 

“C'mon, you're telling me you don't remember me???”. Adam almost seemed offended, as he waved his hands dramatically. “I mean yeah, I may have put on some weight….and some horns…..and some tails. But you're telling me you don't remember your oldest friend?????”. 

Levi's lips pursed, clearly not remembering what he was entailing. “Er…..I don't think we have any friends this small…. no offense”. “He is NOT our friend” Athan growled in annoyance. She raised him closer to eye level. “Now please be quiet while we try and digest you-”

“It's me!!!”. Once again, he motioned to his face as if it was the most obvious thing in the world with a massive heartfelt smile on his face. “Remember me??? Tannin!!!!!”. 

The name spoken by him immediately made both heads freeze in shock. Every emotion passed through both faces, from surprise, disbelief, relief, and even something more tender. 

“ADAM??????!!!!!!!”

“...Why do you keep feeding me?” The large beast grumbled. 

The cascading waves against the rock face caused an ocean mist. The usual blue sky was clouded over, as was usual for weather near the coast of ancient earth. The clouds above looked ready to summon a storm, yet they were nothing compared to the tumultuous waves below. 

“Ha! You're complaining about me giving you food? Sheesh. You remind me of my old wife-......anyways, I don't need a reason to feed you”.

These words puzzled the large beast. Their body was easily peering out of the water, up the cliff face, and gazing at the man who was finishing hauling a large fur tarp of butchered meat to the edge of the cliff. 

He had a thick beard, an oxen fur pelt up to his waist which showed his scarred and chiseled upper body. A noticeable scar was visible on his rib, which was strangely pure white. His golden eyes were a little faded, but the smile on his face was truer than the North star. 

“Do I need a reason to want to do a nice thing?” He asked, as he grabbed a large bull’s leg, still dripping with flesh blood. 

“Yes”.

He huffed at the blunt response. “Okay well nobody was asking you”. 

The beast growled in turn. It was easily 100 times the man's size. Its body was pitch black, with a pastel white underbelly. A massive green spine traced down its limbless body, before ending in a green blade-like tail. A large maw of white teeth was visible on its face, except for a strange healed scar which vaguely was in the form of lips, showing the green muscle beneath the black skin. 

Instead of arguing further, the beast simply opened its jaw and caught the beef limb that the man tossed. Its teeth gnashed as it chewed the meat and bone easily. As it swallowed, the white and purple swirled markings that encircled its body became more noticeable. 

The man put both hands on his hips proudly. “Heh! Much easier than having to rip apart a giant squid, right?”. 

“Grrr….you're lucky that I enjoy an easy meal”. 

As the Man sat on the grassy cliff, he began sharpening a stone knife. Meanwhile the beast happily began digging through the offered meat. 

It was calm between the two. 

By the time the beast finished eating, it had laid its head over the edge of the cliff, quietly allowing the man to lay his back against its massive muzzle as he rested. 

“....You never answered my question”. 

He looked up, and turned around and beheld the green pupiled eyes of the beast. “...Eh. I figured since you gave up on that giant shark 5 years ago to save me from drowning, that I owe you its weight in meat”. 

This only caused the beast to roll all four of its eyes. “We both know you've given me much more meat than that foolish shark would've given me”. 

“Ha! Well jokes on you, because I wasn't keeping count!” 

A burst of exhaled air from its nostrils caused him to fall over, yet he laughed all the same. 

Even though he was foolish, even though he was loud, even though he constantly asked to ride on its back like some sort of parasite……the beast couldn't bother to come up with a reason to stop showing up to this same cliff of theirs, that it had been coming to every few days, since they first met. 

“Oh! And I finally came up with a good name for you!”.

“Not another damn name”. It rolled its eyes, letting out a grumble while its tail splashed in the water behind it. 

“Oh c'mon!!!!! I'm great at naming things!!!!” He tried to defend. “Do you know how many ocean critters I've named?”. 

“Why would I bother to know that? Do you remember the names of every fruit you eat?” it deadpanned.

“YES!!!!!”

More mist came from its nostrils, seemingly in a show of annoyance or concession. “You hoomans are the most unpredictable strange creature in all of existence”.

…

…

…

…

“Fine! Go ahead. But if you call me something foolish like ‘smiley mcfishytooth!’, I'm going to swim you out to sea and throw you as hard as I can!” It warned. 

“You're so mean to me! Haven't you ever heard of ‘respect for your elders’????”

“I was created on the fifth day. You were crafted on the sixth day. I AM your elder. Now get to the stupid name”

Pouting, the man finally shook away his annoyance, before he stood up. He grinned brightly, before he waved his hand in a very showy way. “Alrighty alrighty! Strap yourself to the ocean, because Adam is going to give you a wonder not seen since Eden!!!!”. 

“I left Eden on purpose. Hurry up and get to the name”

It had been so long since they spoke in unison, like they did when they were combined as one. 

And it had been even longer since they had heard their name. Their first name. The name that they treasured deeply, and held even closer to themselves after his passing. 

“Oh my goodness Adam! It's…I….I can't believe it's you!!!!” Levi practically wept, as she brought Adam to her face. Both hands held him against her cheek, and tears grew in her eyes. Meanwhile, Athan was utterly at a loss for words. “I…..how….what are you doing in Hell????? How long have you been here???”.

“Fuck how long has it been again?....around a month or so” he managed to work out, before he was practically pulled from Levi's grip by their shared other hand. 

“A month-A MONTH????” Athan demanded in disbelief. “HOW DID YOU GET SENT TO HELL??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN HEAVEN???!?!”. “BE CAREFUL, YOURE SHAKING HIM!!!!!”.

“Ahhhh. There we go. Nice and dry”. Now standing on Leviathan's sink counter, his hellflames faded. His raggedy coat was in Leviathan's waste bin, and he was wearing a purple washcloth that was more like a towel, at his size. Tightening it around his waist, he went out of his way to lick his hand and press to his ass. “Tsssss! This ass is hot as always, babe” he grinned, flashing her a finger gun. 

Such an act got an eyeroll from Athan, and a giggle from Levi. “Oh Adam. I don't remember you being this feisty. You're so wild, like the sea”. Levi crossed her leg over the other, while Athan adjusted the fluffy green towel wrapped around their midsection. “It's been about 9 thousand years since we've seen him. Figures he would develop a personality at some point”. 

“Bitch, I AM the original personality” he argued, with a cross of his arms. “.....Also, why are there two of you? Did you like, form a cocoon land burst out like an ocean butterfly or something?”. 

The awkwardness in the room became as thick as the pressure at the ocean's bottom. Athan’s jaw grit but she avoided looking at Adam. Levi began sweating profusely as she found interest in the various patterns on the ceiling. 

“....Uh hello? Earth to Tannin? Are you gonna leave me hanging?”. Even Adam could notice from their body posture as they sat on the large closed toilet of their bathroom, that something was off. 

He watched as Levi gulped, while she fiddled with her hands. “Well….uh….we….may have gotten cut in half”.

For the umpteenth time that day, Adam blinked. 

“.....By Michael” Athan grumbled shamefully. 

His head leaned forward, as if he wasn't sure what he was hearing. 

“....After we…invaded Heaven….on Lucifers suggestion”.

“WHAT THE FUCK TANNIN!!!!????”. 

Both Levi & Athan flinched as Adam flew up to their faces. He shook their towel hem back and forth, literally causing them both to be shaken.

“WHY. WOULD. YOU. LISTEN TO THAT SNAKEY FUCK!!!!!!!!??????” he emphasized with every word. Shock was pouring off his face, with his eyes wide as dinner plates. “HE LITERALLY LIKE HITLER, JIM JONES AND EVERY TELEMARKETER THAT FIGHTS DOGS IN THEIR GRANDMOTHERS BASEMENT COMBINED!!!!!!”. 

“WELL HOW DO YOU THINK WE FEEL????” Athan glared with hurt, while Levi’s lip quivered. "Y-you died Adam! You were….you were supposed to live forever! With us! We….we didn't know what to do! 1 years became 10, 10 years became 100 and then 700 years had passed!!!!!”. Both of their eyes carried a genuine loss in them that Adam didn't expect. 

“W-we were at our worst. Utterly lost without you”. Levi pulled up their legs, and hugged them atop the toilet lid, and Athan let out a bitter snarl. “And that FUCKING snake…he whispered in our ear everything we wanted to hear! Telling us ‘If you break down the Heavenly gates, you can have everything your heart desires’!”.

“GIVE HIM BACK!!!!!!”.

The dual roar of the beast was perilous, amongst the assembled Heavenly host gathered to defend against it. 

Countless Angelic Steel spears were implanted in its body, as the glowing yellow and red portal so coincidentally closed behind it. It thrashed wildly, and its jaw snapped around countless Angels garbed in warriors armor. 

Even without water, the beast was not to be taken lightly. It coiled its body to propel itself forward, and every golden magical shield summoned by the Angels shattered pathetically. Its tail was sharper than the Angels expected, while entire swathes of cloud were sent fading away from the blade-like appendage.

The gates of Heaven stood in the background, and it was still a mile between the legion combatting the beast, and the entrance to Heaven. The beast panted, as green blood leaked from the many wounds on its body. One of its four eyes had a lance implanted in it, and it had a broken spear implanted in its lower jaw. “Ha…..ha……You can send every Angel in Heaven against me. BUT I WILL NOT LEAVE UNTIL I HAVE HIM!!!!”. 

Another baleful roar echoed out, as more and more angels were sent scattering. 

The beast prepared to drag its body the last portion of the distance, but a painful light then shone from above. 

A near blinding light, carried down on six orange wings. 

“Dread beast of the ocean” greeted none other than Heaven's supreme general. 

{He who carried the legendary Dawncrux}

†The Lion within the Lord's palm†

★Michaelous Aurora Generalis.★

The frown on his face was only matched by the snarling of the golden lion on his shoulder pauldron. The living metal armor roared at the beast, like an Apex Predator eyeing a scavenger. “You have overstepped your bounds, and violated this Heavenly place”. He put his hand upon the pommel of his blade, staring coldly from his place in the sky above the beast. “Retreat, or find yourself as food to the lesser creatures of the world's oceans”. 

The beast fearlessly let out a hiss, spitting venom and blood. “NEVER! I DO NOT FEAR YOU OR YOUR GOD! LUCIFER HAS TOLD ME OF THE POWER BEYOND THOSE GATES! THE POWER TO GAIN ME MY GREATEST DESIRE!!!!!”. 

A seeming understanding dawned on Michael’s face, just from the beast's words alone. “You pathetic creature. You've been deceived by he who is bereft of grace and truth-”.

Instead of waiting another moment, the Beast coiled with all of its strength and launched itself in the air towards Michael. “SILENCE! I WONT LET YOU OR ANY OF YOUR KIN STOP ME!!!!!”.

Higher and higher the beast climbed, opening its mouth wider than it even thought possible. Even despite every natural instinct SCREAMING at it to flee, it pushed forwards through the air as it intended to close its jaw around the Heavenly general. 

“I WILL HAVE HIM! I WILL HAVE ADA-”

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SLAA|AASH

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It didn't feel anything at first. 

…

Not a single thing. 

…

One moment it was speaking…the next, it felt air. 

Air on its flesh. 

Air on its skull..

Air on its insides where air wasn't supposed to be. 

Its remaining three eyes could only slowly widen, and its body was cleaved perfectly in two. It had managed to get within a foot of Michael.

…

And then it began to fall. 

Both halves began to fall. 

It couldn't even speak. All the energy left its body, as its green blood splattered from the open wounds of being cut vertically down its middle. 

The bifurcated body of the beast fell downward, as a massive hole opened up in the cloudy ground below.

Tkkk

Just as Heaven's General sheathed his sword. 

“Die a foolish death, beast of the seas. Know the penalty for aligning with the traitorous enemies of the Lord” he spoke with no remorse, as the clouds of Heaven closed up with an apathetic quickness. 

…

…

…

‘-ame…’

…

…

‘Its…notour name’

The thoughts the beast would have had was split in twain, as it plummeted downward from the Earth's outer atmosphere. 

Farther and farther it fell, as tears poured from both eyes. 

‘Adam…’

‘t-thank you for…giving us-’

‘that wonderful-’

‘n-name’

For seven days, the split beast fell. 

For seven days, its tears poured enough to cloak the world in horrible rains. 

And on the seventh day….its body impacted the seas below…

As A Flood Of 40 Days & 40 Nights

Consumed The Very World

The bathroom was now filled with a different kind of silence. 

One of understanding, of regret. 

A heavy sigh left Adam's lips, as he let his wings disappear and he landed in Leviathan's lap. “.......That clown noseless fuck really does ruin everything and everyone he touches”. His chuckle was bitter, yet the attempt at humor was obvious as he rubbed his eyes. 

Her hand was propping up her chin, as Athan growled in agreement. “That slimy fucker was waiting right after we impacted the water. Floating on that goofy pink umbrella. I bet he thought he was so clever ‘oooooh! Can I land you a hand? It looks like you've got a splitting headache!’ Tch....fucking douche”. Nodding in somber agreement, Levi gently ran her large hand over Adam's hair. “After we finally fell, he offered us a deal. A deal we couldn't really say no to. He heals us, and we swear loyalty to him”. 

A groan left Adams mouth. “Yep. That sounds like him. Manipulating every fucking outcome, and running both ends against the fucking middle” he scoffed. “At least he made you guys look fucking hot. I mean, you've got huge tits too”. 

“Oh! Do you want to see them???” Levi asked excitedly, gripping the end of her towel. 

“Fuck yeah!!!!”

“FUCK NO!!!!!”. The purple hand slapped away Levi’s hand, as a green blush covered the monstrous head of the two. “WE'RE NOT SHOWING HIM OUR…BREASTS!”. 

“Boooo! C'mon Tannin! Don't be a stick in the mud!”

“Oh, she's all stick!”, Levi grumbled with a pout, crossing their arms. “When Lucifer reshaped up, all the FUN came to me, Adam”. A sudden sultry grin formed on her pale face, while she but her knuckle teasingly. “~How'd you like to see what else came to me, Adam?”.

Oh his feet, he stood on her lap. Adam was grinning like a dog who hadn't had his bone buried in years. “Yes Yes YES YES PLEASE!”

“NO NO NO NO NO! NOT HAPPENING, UH UH, END OF STORY!!!!!!”. The sputtering of Athan was almost comical, compared to Levi’s eagerness. “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?” the latter head snapped at the former. “FOR 3,000 YEARS YOUVE BEEN HUNG UP AND WOULDNT EVEN LET US DATE! AND THEN WHEN YOU FINALLY DO, WE DONT EVEN MAKE IT TO A DATE BECAUSE OF YOUR PICKY STANDARDS!!!!!”

The tirade caused her to drop her mouth, at Levi’s accusations. “Wha- IM NOT PICKY!!!!”. But Levi wasn't having any of it. Using her hand, she made a mocking talking gesture. “GRRR! IM ATHAN! IM A GRUMPY FUSSY BITCH! I DONT LIKE HIM, HES TOO TALL! I DONT LIKE HIM EITHER, HES TOO SHORT! UGH! THIS GUY ISN'T TALL OR SHORT ENOUGH! GRRRRRR! HE'S NOT ADAM, SO I DONT EVEN WANT TO TALK TO HIM! YAK YAK YAK YAK YAK!!!!!!”.

“Pfffft! Ha! She's got you there, Tannin!”. Adam was positively hugging his belly, as he guffawed. His laughter only made Athan blush.

“OH, SO JUST BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO MOVE ON FROM ADAM, I'M THE BAD GUY???? WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU IMPUDENT CHILD! THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN IN HEAVEN OR HELL WHOS GOOD ENOUGH FOR US! AND THAT'S ADAM-”

…

…

…

The finger she was pointing at Levi fell limp, and her mouth shut tight in realization. Her wide eyes turned to a smug Levi. Then to a cocky Adam who was waggling his red eyebrows and stroking his red bushy goatee. 

“...Both of you can jump off a cliff. Fine. Show him whatever you want”.

“YAY! BOOBIES!”

“TIDDIES! COME TO POPPA! MRRBBBB!”

Athan held her hand to her face to hide her embarrassment. But even she couldn't help but gently peek through her fingers and bite her teeth to hide her own moan, as she felt her towel pulled away, and a bushy horned face burying itself in her and Levi’s breasts.

“Woah! You guys can fucking shrink down! Fucking nice! I thought you were just a giant all the time!”. 

Pride welled up in Leviathan's chest, as she now stood two heads taller than Adam. Now that they were more proportional to his height, they wore a seafoam green and black night gown, with shimmering scales near the calf length skirt. “Yyyyyyup! One of the perks to being a Deadly Sin. We can change our size freely, and we've got MAGIC!!!!”.

As Levi sang a harmonious melody, glowing purple fountains manifested behind the two, within her ocean themed bedroom. Giant green angler fish playing saxophones circled around in a jazzy theme, as huge summoned pink bubbles floated through the room. 

“AHAHAHA! BRAVO BABY! ENCORE! ENCORE!!!!”. Wearing a personally tailored pair of purple boxers handsewn by Leviathan, Adam whistled loudly with eagerness. 

Even Athan couldn't deny the beating of their chest, as they both stood up straighter at the praise from Adam. “After all these centuries, we ended up getting a grasp on our various magics. It definitely makes ruling the Envy Ring much easier”, she admitted before sitting on her plush waterbed. 

With their own magic ingrained in the spire they called their home, the spatial confines of the room matched that of their size. So now Adam was in a slightly bigger bedroom, instead of a bedroom where he'd have to fly from any of the gigantic furniture.

“Make room for Addy!” was all the warning they got, before Adam bellyflopped onto the waterbed. 

Giggles spilled from Levi's mouth, as the bed glowed a gentle pink. It was quite literally a water bed. The entire bed was just a magically shaped bubble, with pink water inside. So Adam bellyflopping made her end of the bed rise up a good 5 feet in the air, before it shrunk back down and they both jiggled and bounced like bubbles in a lava lamp. “Adam! You're such a kidder!”. Her white hair extended forth like a large tentacle, before it wrapped around Adams midsection and brought him to her. “Mmmm. I definitely can't swim without my big cuddly ‘life preserver’ in the water.” she purred.

“Mmmmm. The ladies. They just can't keep their hands off me” he chuckled, while stroking his chin. 

Athan shook her head at the pair giggling, but her hand was resting warmly on Adam's belly. It was a clear sign that despite her grumpy nature, she too appreciated Adam's presence in their life again. “You still haven't told us how you ended up in Hell. Or how you're in Envy”. 

A frown wormed its way onto Adams face, as he crossed his legs on the still moving bed. “Ugh. That all traces back to a few months ago. You know Lucifer's jizz goblin of a daughter?”. 

“Charlie????” Levi gasped in excitement. “We love Charlie!”. “Ehh. She's alright”. Athan shrugged offhandedly, giving Levi the opportunity to clap their hands together. “She's so cute! She's always having these pet projects that never work out, but we just love spoiling her! She's sweet, and kind, and-”

“Yeah she killed me”

“And she killed you and-”

Immediately, Levi’s face froze mid smile. Her eyes slowly craned to Adam's, and her pupils dilated to fine points. Even Athan's eyebrows raised in surprise at Adams' words. “Charlie? Sheesh. I didn't think she could even harm a fly. All she can do magically is make those silly music notes we taught her as a child”.

“Hahaha I'm sorry Adam. Could you…run that by us again? I must've misheard you”. The words coming from Levi’s mouth had a hard edge. Her perfect white teeth were pulled in a tight smile. 

Seemingly ignorant, Adam scratched his bare hairy chest. “Oh, you heard me alright. What she did was raise an army of cannibals, rapists, gay people, and a few furry freaks to fight me and my best friend during the Exterminations”.

Levi was smiling. 

“....Uh, Levi?....Are you okay?”. The hesitance in Athan’s voice was a rarity. Something even she wasn't used to using. 

Levi's eye twitched as she kept smiling. 

“Oh, and it gets worse!”.

“Worse how-?” she started, only for one of their fingers to press against her mouth, surprising even her how Levi shushed her. “Sh sh sh sh sh! No talking Athan”. Her other half was left wide eyed. A bead of sweat trailed down her purple scales, and she definitely wasn't sure how to handle this. “....Please Adam. Tell me MORE about what exactly Charlie did”. The hardened edge in Levi’s voice shocked Athan into utter silence. 

But naturally, Adam didn't pick up on it as he growled and began listing off on his fingers. “Where to fucking start!!! She fucking grabbed an army of cannibals to fucking eat my soldiers alive! Her fucking lesbitch of a dyke dipping Latin-X sugar squeeze KILLED my best friend! She cried out for daddy-queerest to come save her, and Lucifer beat me till I was coughing up blood! And just when it couldn't get any worse, she rammed a shitty fork through my chest and fucking rebuilt her Hotel even brighter than before! And she fucking got me turned into a fucking ugly ass disgusting dragon fucker sinner!!!!!!!!”. He panted, catching his breath from his livid recounting.

Levi had both of her hands pressed together, in front of her mouth as she inhaled deeply before exhaling. 

It was at that moment, that the Hellborne servants of Leviathan would notice that every one of the formerly treasured framed pictures of Charlie were magically shattered instantly. All throughout the castle home of the Sin of Envy, biological acid suddenly manifested on the frames and melted the pictures to steaming piles of luminescent slag. 

“...... Adam”, she started, as she grabbed Adam under his arms, and sat him in front of her. “You are the farthest thing from ugly”. Her pale hand tucked a stray strand of his messy red hair back into place, before a warm smile formed on her face. “I want you to say that. Repeat after me. ‘I am not ugly'". 

Wide eyes met her, and Adam blushed in disbelief. “I……are you serious?”

“As a heart attack”. 

“...You want me to say it?”

“Word for word”.

“........Do I have to?”.

“Yes. Every single word”.

He opened and closed his mouth several times, and he avoided each of their glances. His hand scratched the back of his neck, and he looked to Athan for assistance. 

But help wouldn't come from the other head, as she chuckled and shook her head. “Don't look at me. I've been trying to win an unending battle with her optimistic heart for 9,000 years. You heard her Adam”.

‘.....Fuck’. 

Helpless and unable to use any jokes or comedy to get out of it, Adam simply grumbled and looked down. It wasn't that he didn't want to say it. It was more…

‘As if he thinks he doesn't deserve to have the words said about him’ Athan astutely thought. Her usually abrasive envious half of their shared heart softened, as her eyes looked at Adam with empathy.

But it was as one that both their hands moved to cup his cheeks, and make him look at them as they spoke in unison.

“Adam”.

Hearing the unified voice of their original form made him look at them softly. As his self loathing simmered down, and he watched them with all the wonder left in the world. 

“No matter what happens to you…no matter how much you view yourself, and no matter what violations your enemies bring upon you…”.

Together, both of their heads planted a kiss on each of his cheeks.

“You're still that beautiful, bright joyful thing that I watched the Lord craft from dust and love on the sixth day”. 

Those words made his heart ache and his breath left his lungs. He looked at them, seemingly as if he was afraid that what they were saying was some joke. 

Yet all they did was reassure him. 

Levi smiled warmly as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear fin. 

Athan grinned at him, as her eyes showed an impatient expectancy. 

He balled his hands into fists, and clutched them with all the hatred he felt to himself in his sinner form.

…

And he let go, with a breath that carried the exhaustion within his being. 

“I'm…not ugly. And…I guess I matter”. It was a begrudging admission under his breath, but it was said nonetheless. 

“Yay! You said it!”. “Hm. Took you long enough”.

Their celebrations contrasted his heavy blush, as he growled and half-heartedly tried to get off the bed. “That's it. I changed my mind. I'm leaving to go join Lucifer queer-o-sexual circus”. 

Even in the midst of a joke, both of Leviathan's arms wrapped around him with love and affection. “Nice try. You're ours now, First Man”. “Hehehe, noooo! Don't go! You're too cute to be sad!”. 

“Hmph”. Regardless of his sourpuss disposition, he melted into her embrace, as the two heads showered him with kisses and hugs. 

“-And this is Mammon” Levi continued, pointing to a picture of Leviathan & Mammon wearing paintball gear together, in a photo album titled ‘Sinful Memories’. “He's a sweet guy. Really nice, and he always makes the best jokes”. “He and his girlfriend Belphegor are probably one of the only sins without an Angelic Steel stick up his asshole”. 

Munch

He nodded, as he helped himself to a bowl of purple ‘Levi-a-land Envy Ring Fishstick’. “Which sin is he? The ‘Gluttony’ one?”. 

“Ugh. No, that's Beelzebub. She's little miss ‘Im too good to have any sushi because I'm busy eating peanut butter out of my boyfriend's asshole'!". “Mammon is actually the sin of Greed”. 

“HA! With a gut like that?” He laughed. “He could probably carry all Seven rings under that paunch”. 

“Look who's talking. You're probably as big as he is, at equal body proportions”. 

Such a targeted jab caused Adam to frown, as he hugged the bowl to his naked belly in a huff. “Psh. I already hate this prick”. But a teasing pinch from Leviathan was all he gained. 

“Oh please, Adam. He's a fun guy. Once me, him, and Belphy get together, we paint the town in Sin and have so much fun. I bet you'd like him”. 

“I don't see why”.

Athan craned her head to his other side and instantly took a blunt tone. “He's rich, he loves to rock, and he cyberbullies Lucifer constantly”

“Well why didn't you say so! This guy sounds awesome! It's about time you were open minded with cool friends Tannin!....Also, can I have more fishticks?”

“Oh by the seven seals, your hands are magic!” 

“Oh yeah, you love when I give you all five fingers, don't you bitch?”

“If it were anyone else, I would have eaten them for calling me tha-ooooooh! Right there!”.

The sight before Levi was absolutely a once in a lifetime sight. And she was holding her smartphone to film it. “Mammon is NEVER going to believe me when I tell him this”.

The obvious flashing of the camera made Athan blush in pure embarrassment. “Hey! I didn't say you could film-Oooh Adam! Right there! That's the spot! Please for the love of God don't stop!!!!”.

Even Adam was chuckling at Athan's expense. “Damn Tannin. You really must have been missing me after all these centuries. I bet nobody has been able to get you to moan like this, since we used to do this back on earth”. 

“Nnnnmgh! Nobody is like you Adam! You have the hands of a God! Nobody can reach me feel like yooOUUUUUUUH!!!”.

Watching Athan’s neck go limp as she panted and laid in Adams lap was nothing of beauty to Levi. Making sure to take more pictures of her other half drooling dopily, she giggled. “I've got to ask Adam to scratch Athan’s neck more often, if this is how she reacts”. 

More and more pictures were taken, while Adam used both of his clawed hands to Athan's neck in the sweet spot, while the usually cranky head was grinning like a dope and sticking her tongue out like a gecko. 

The floor was covered in empty bowls, food wrappers, and smoothie cups. 

The pink glow of the room had dimmed considerably, casting a comforting light on the trio. 

Nothing could ruin this moment for the pair. 

“...Adam? If you could….go back to Heaven….would you?”.

Adam definitely wasn't expecting it, and he sat up to look at Leviathan from their embrace in her bed. 

He saw anxiousness, hesitance, and worry cross both of their faces. 

Levi awkwardly touched her fingers together. 

Athan rolled her eyes with a disinterested scoff, but even her eyes glanced back at him wishing for confirmation. 

A long several minutes passed without him saying a word. Instead he shrugged and scratched his crotch through his boxers. “Nah. With Lute and my girls being….gone, there's nothing left for me in Heaven. Since Pride wasn't giga-nuke to the ground yet, I can only assume that they aren't bothered I died. And with everyone I care about aside from the old man gone….I've got better places to busy my time with”. He grinned mischievously, as his tail stretched and cupped Levi's chin as she gasped. “Or better people. Ehh? Ehhh?”. 

The reaction was immediate, with Levi squealing and burying his face into her nightgown cleavage. “Oh Adam! Thank you thank you thank you! We love you so much! We've always loved you, a-and well make sure you're treated like a king in Envy, and…and…we'll get you a guitar!”.

He chuckled warmly, before wrapping his arms around both their necks. “Relax Tannin. You don't have to make me King or anything. Just as long as I get to rub our happiness in Lucifuckers face, and we can be together, it's all I need”. 

“Hmph! Damn right we are!!”.

The laughter that left Adams mouth as both heads began showering him with kisses, was rich in a way he never thought he'd feel again. 

He had lost three times. 

A best friend…

Two wives…

Paradise itself.

But with his oldest friend now made whole, and a love he didn't think he deserved…maybe he could finally make himself whole as well. 

“We should totally see if I can knock you up!”

“OH MY GOD YES!!!!!!”.

“NO!!!!!!”.

“WHY NOT????”.

“I HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY US GETTING PREGNANT ISN'T A GOOD IDEA???"

“JUST LET ME HAVE THIS YOU SCALEY BITCH!!!”.