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“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell us you got married,” Sally said, removing the teabag from her cup.
“I’ve really just been so busy,” Kristin replied modestly, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. “I promise it just slipped my mind…for a year.”
“It’s in character at least,” Niki sighed fondly, a hand cradling her cheek.
“Mrs. Craft,” Puffy interrupted, poking her head into the breakroom. “Phone for you.”
Kristin excused herself to follow their supervisor. “It’s your usual caller on the line,” Puffy said once they were out of earshot.
Kristin simply nodded.
~-~-~-~
“When are Mama and Papa getting home?” Tommy asked and Techno looked up from his crossword.
“Soon hopefully. I can’t get paid and get out of here fast enough.” The pinkette gazed at the clock. “They better hurry up, because no one is eating until they stop by the store. The fridge is barren.”
~-~-~-~
Phil straightened his sleeve cuffs as he lifted a tray of hors d’oeuvres from a passing waitress. His mission was simple: infiltrate Schlatt’s party and procure information about the viscount’s involvement with the secret police. Infiltration was the easy part; getting info would be harder.
Phil wove through the (disgustingly rich) crowd, doing his best to appear relaxed.
He quirked an eyebrow at the viscount’s cackle. It was incredibly recognizable and bordering on manic. Even the small group surrounding him shifted uneasily, laughing along stiltedly.
Phil bowed slightly, offering a finger food from the tray. Unsurprisingly, the man reeked of alcohol. Schlatt grabbed an empty bottle of whiskey from a side table and shook it in Phil’s general direction.
“Forget about that! Go bring another bottle. Vodka this time. And the hard stuff. None of these palette cleansers,” he growled, canines flashing.
Phil cringed internally. That particular brand of whiskey could only be imported to the Antarctic Empire and was worth more than what an average citizen could make in half a year.
Still, he bowed again, turning. There was no information to be found out in Schlatt’s drunken state.
It was time for Plan B.
~-~-~-~
“‘Blade!” Tommy whined, laying melodramatically on the floor. Techno had given up trying to correct the misnomer months ago. “Clementine’s starving!” Techno memorized his page number before turning to look at the dog.
Clementine was, in fact, not starving, but instead looking at Techno like she was just as fed up as he was.
“Technically, Clementine can eat.” Tommy’s jaw dropped, flabbergasted.
“How come she can eat and I can’t?” Techno pretended to ponder for a moment.
“Well, you can try the kibble if you want.” The blonde’s face scrunched up in disgust. “That’s what I thought. Wouldn’t you rather eat with your parents anyway?” Tommy groaned.
“Clementine, tell me when they’re getting back!” He stared directly into the dog’s eyes, refusing to blink.
What a strange child.
~-~-~-~
Krisitin flipped her shurikens, wiping the blood off onto the hem of her dress. She walked away from the twitching corpse. Only one left.
She wandered through the moonlit container yard.
He was hiding.
“The Goddess of Death is prepared for you,” she called eerily.
“Don’t keep her waiting.” There was a hushed breathing to her right. It was hard to hear over the whistling wind, but she picked up on it nonetheless. “Your partners are dead. The girl is gone,” she’d been sure to get the kid to safety first.
Kristin’s eyes narrowed at the memory of still fresh bruises dotting the girl’s skin.
“Give up.”
Kristin found herself in direct fire of a gun. He was kneeling at the end of the alleyway, shaking fingers curled around the firearm.
He shot.
She threw the shuriken before she dodged. It was the way Garden had trained her; put the mission before everything else.
Even yourself.
Fiery hot pain shot up Kristin’s leg as her weapon hit its mark.
He dropped the gun as the dagger tore through his eye. Kristin moved forward in a beat, steps silent and lithe.
The noirette yanked out her shuriken, and he screamed bloody murder.
“Unlike you,” she raised the ensanguined weapon over his heart.
“I don’t miss.”
~-~-~-~
/…-ave reported several found bodies of known traffickers in southern L’manburg today./
The news report crackled to life as Tommy turned on the TV.
/Autopsies show evidence of mass murder and both security cameras and eyewitness accounts suggest the assassin commonly known as the Goddess of Death was responsi-/
It was gone just as quickly as it had come once Techno switched the channel.
“Probably not the best thing for a kid to be watchin’.”
“Mama!” Tommy cried.
“Huh?”
“Uhh…I said I, uh, miss Mama.”
“Worse comes to worst, we can have something delivered.” A convenience store or gas station, maybe. Techno’s stomach would have to literally be eating itself before he paid for restaurant delivery. “I’d take you back to my apartment, but Phil’s very strict about staying here. Old and paranoid, huh?”
~-~-~-~
The sound of a key undoing a lock had Phil looking up. He swore under his breath to himself, fingers practically flying over the keyboard.
“Hello?” The man on the other side of the door knocked when the furniture Phil had piled against it held firm.
Phil’s eyes flicked around the room, urgently. That was the only door that led out, and the desk was in full view of the doorway; as soon as they got in, he was caught.
“Is anyone in there?”
The download completed and Phil disconnected the USB, mind racing. The knocks became more fervent and the calls louder.
Phil flew to the door, shoving the furniture out of the way. The sounds on the other side stopped suspiciously, as though the man had stepped back. Phil wiped his palms against the fabric of his shirt.
The door opened with the force of a polite running start (as though he were subconscious of who might be watching). The brunette flicked on the room light and straightened his cuffs.
“Guess it was just jammed,” he said to the empty room, going about his business.
A metal hook detaching from the windowsill went unnoticed.
~-~-~-~
“Blade,” Tommy choked out, voice raspy. “I think… I think I’m dying.” The child coughed from his position on the floor, writhing almost comically. “I-If I don’t make it… tell Tubbo… his bees make him… look stupid.” He coughed once more, sucking in one, large final breath before letting his head loll to the side.
…
Techno nudged him with the side of his foot. Surprisingly, Tommy remained unresponsive.
A rap on the door sounded out through the apartment and the blonde sprung up. “I’ll get it!”
“Maybe the child shouldn’t open the door at this time of night.” Techno took a slow breath in, fingers pressed to his temples. “On the other hand… I’m not getting paid to stop him.” He sank into the armchair, satisfied.
Tommy stood on his toes to reach the (many) locks and swung the door open, excitedly.
“Welcome…”
Deep, sunken bags rimmed Kristin’s eyes, her hair was nothing short of a rat’s nest, and rips that suggested more than one struggle decorated her clothes. To tie it all together, a carmine stain had seeped through one of Kristin’s pant legs and the (very poorly concealed) bandage underneath.
“...home.” The enthusiasm in Tommy’s voice had been completely and totally decimated.
Kristin floundered in place for a second, face dead as her eyes flicked back and forth.
After a moment she placed a single hand on Tommy’s head as she passed him, heading on a path for her room that was straighter and more precise than that of a nuclear missile.
~-~-~-~
“Thank you so much for watching him, Techno!” Kristin smiled warmly from her place on the couch. “Sorry I took so long getting back!” The noirette had emerged from her room just ten minutes later, freshly washed and dressed with not even a hair out of place.
“‘S okay. Believe me, there is nothing that money can’t convince me to do.”
“Mama!” Tommy exclaimed from his chair. “You were bleeding!” He wanted to know about the news story he’d seen on TV, but he couldn’t just ask .
I can’t let them know I passed out after taking out a gang of human traffickers and crawled to a bus stop after I woke up, Kristin thought to herself very discreetly.
Tommy’s jaw dropped.
“Oh, that? It was, uh, just a little accident at work. Y’know how hectic things get at the city council building.” She chuckled nervously. Tommy turned to Techno who was just nodding along sagely, in a yes-that-makes-total-sense kind of way.
“Anyway,” Kristin drawled, deftly changing the topic, “Techno, you really must stay for dinner.”
“Oh yeah,” the pinkette said, scanning the adjacent kitchen. “I didn’t see where you put the bags. Did you already put them away? I wish I could be that efficient; it would make writin’ essays way easier.”
“No!” Kristin cried, leaping to her feet. “I forgot to buy groceries!!”
“Not to worry!” Phil burst through the apartment door holding brown paper bags that were piled almost above his head.
“Papa!” Tommy exclaimed as Techno swooped in to collect the bags.
“I know how forgetful you can be, Kristin, so I thought I might as well do some back-up shopping. If you did remember, I figured we could always donate them or send them home with Techno as a bonus.”
What a kind, thoughtful person Phil is, Kristin thought to herself.
They’ll never know I forgot it was Kristin’s turn to do the shopping, Phil thought prudently.
Mama and Papa are the most out-of-it, haphazard people in the world, Tommy thought, shaking his head solemnly.
“Uh, Phil?” Techno called, holding up a USB that he had pulled from one of the grocery bags.
“OH! U-uhm… uh, d-don’t mind that!” Phil floundered, snatching the USB from Techno’s hand. “It’s just… uh… f-files for one of my patients. Yeah!”
“Spy stuff,” Tommy whispered.
“What was that?”
“NOTHING! Let’s eat!”