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Tears are just puddles without a home. From the glimmering and grandiose exterior, Hogwarts seemed far too brilliant and magical to have puddles in the first-floor hallway. From the sheer awe and bubbling glee that had swirled within Luna when the school first came into view as she first crossed the lake in a smear of bedazzled witches, wizards, and ambient magic thick enough it was really just the same as pudding, Hogwarts didn’t seem the type of place for tears, either. But as they fell from her face while Luna was staring at the puddle, she realized that the reality of ancient castles was much different from how they were imagined. She also realized that she was crying. But now that she had made such an important discovery, she didn’t have time to be sad! Daddy would love to know that tears and puddles were the same – he might even publish a story about it!
Not that anyone here would understand it, the silly voice in her head that wanted her to feel sad whispered. Luna figured her sad voice was getting lonely because she had been trying to ignore it so much, recently. That’s why it was trying to talk to her more than usual. Or maybe it noticed that Luna had been getting lonely after her happy voice had its expectations let down coming to Hogwarts. Normally Luna would ask, but she had been getting the feeling recently that happy and sad were actually the same thing, just with the colors switched. Or maybe the shape was inverted? See, happy was all grabby and insistent and nervous want. And sad was the same thing – always grasping and demanding attention and wanting. The only difference was that happy was expecting the fiery oranges and the daffodil yellows, while sad was afraid of all that, just expecting the deep ocean blues and rainy greys that happy didn’t want to think about. Kind of like the difference between a star and a pentagon – the same idea but with the angles switched.
So instead of happy or sad, Luna wiped her eyes and settled on serene. It was a nice pale blue that didn’t really grab attention or demand much from her. She had been using it a lot recently, mostly because all of the switching had been getting so exhausting. Luna liked being happy, but it turned into sad way too easily. She would just be sitting with someone in class or at dinner, and they would be all orange or yellow and grabby at her, which was lovely! But, then she would try to be happy back, and all of a sudden everything would go murky purple-grey or pale blue or sickly lime green. Luna hated lime green, but it thankfully only tended to come from snakelings or sometimes lion cubs. Well anyway, those emotions always made Luna’s star switch to a pentagon before she even noticed. So, yes, happy and sad were basically the same thing, because they came from the same place. It was probably better to just not try to talk to people, really.
Just as she was about to not talk to people on the way back to her dorm, Luna’s heart sank a little bit. She had turned around to see a vibrant, iridescent green surrounding a swirling greyish blue. Oh, and there was a person at the center, but Luna didn’t remember her name. She did recognize her, though. She had been called early during the sorting ceremony, and person trapped in the hat had declared her a snakeling. And truthfully, at first glance, Luna had been relieved to not have her in the blue-bronze murder of birdlings. Her aura had been violently red, hurtfully blue, and terribly turbulent throughout the entire ceremony. But it had since mellowed to flat greys, or sometimes a blueish haze, in the week since they were arbitrarily given colors, and Luna reflected that the red had always been diffuse. More importantly, it was absolutely huge. Most people’s aura’s were tightly woven around them, their personal space a canvas spattered with the colors they gathered through the day. But this girl had flecks of color all through the great hall, a whirlwind of paint smearing with other people’s auras where they crossed, inspiring the colors in the core like each bit of color was an artist. It wasn’t often Luna felt she could hear the colors on someone’s aura, but this girl felt terribly loud when Luna first laid eyes on her. It was far less overwhelming now but…
Well, the green was clinging at Luna. Curiosity directed at her had ended in hurt every single time so far, usually the moment Luna opened her mouth. It was a little less painful when she knew right away that they had decided not to like her. Her blues were always deeper when they switched from yellow.
But she didn’t have to worry about that now, because she’d already decided that the pale blue serene was best. Ah, but the girl watching her didn’t know that! Luna had just been crying, so she was probably wondering about that. “Ah, I’m sorry. I just discovered that puddles and tears are the same thing, so I’ve decided not to talk to anybody for a bit.”
The words hung in the air for a second, and Luna frowned a little bit, because instead of clearing up any confusion, the iridescent green surrounding the girl just flared and bubbled a bit, a little bit of dusty orange creeping in and swirling around Luna as the girl smiled, tugging away little bits of pale blue and mixing to a pale purple before fading again to orange as the colors neared the girl. “I see. I guess if puddles and tears are the same, there’s no point in me checking in on you after that drama at dinner.”
Luna hummed a bit to a tune she caught drifting through the castle, tilting her head. “I don’t think so? I was only crying because the castle is so shiny. I haven’t got any gloomglurts, really.” And besides, the point of a thing wasn’t really all that different from the flat of a thing, just the same bit bent a different way. Like, the iridescent green would turn lime or angry purple-red regardless of whether the idea was around concern for Luna or not.
The girl’s smile turned into a bit of a slanted smirk, a little more orange bubbling into the green but dimming at the same time. “I see. I hadn’t known to be concerned about gloomgurts…”
“Gloomglurts. And you don’t really need to be concerned. Daddy isn’t convinced, but I’m pretty sure they’re just sad whimwhirls.” Honestly, they were just the same thing with the blues and yellows swapped. And the points and flats.
The clinging green poked at Luna a bit, enough that it tickled, before fizzling into a gentle stroke of confusion. But that was still against a canvas of perfectly terrifying curiosity. “Well, I don’t know what a whimwhirl is, but it’s the sad part that I was concerned about in the first place. Honestly, Weasley was acting like such a git earlier…”
Luna frowned. Ever since coming to school, Ginny’s normally fiery and bright aura had been… off. Like the exuberance had been twisted to point inward instead of out. Sometimes when Luna blinked, she thought she could see, almost a stain, on the colors, but it always flickered away when she tried to focus on it. She thought it might be that Ginny was trying to hide that Luna was just a bother to her now. But really… “It’s not her fault. There are so many wrackspurts around the lion cubs.”
“Right.” It didn’t sound like the girl believed her, the flecks of yellow in her aura swooping and flickering. “Well, it doesn’t have to be Weasley’s fault for you to be sad, and if you recall, that’s the reason that I’m here in the first place. Honestly, Charms and Potions are much more enjoyable when you’re happy.”
Luna blinked, not really understanding. “Why?”
The girl made a show of looking around, but Luna could tell that she was paying much more attention to the flecks of her aura that she’s casting about, all grabby and checking for people. Then she turned back to Luna with a finger on her smiling lips. “I’ll tell you, but it’s a secret. You have to promise not to tell anyone.”
Luna nodded solemnly. She was sure she was excellent at keeping secrets, because she didn’t even remember any that she had to keep! You can’t share a secret if you don’t even know what it is. Just think of all the secrets in this castle that she hadn’t told anyone about!
The girl smiled a bit, as though she had just heard something funny. “Alright. I’m a legilimens. It’s not that I try to, really, but I can’t help but overhear what you’re thinking sometimes. Thoughts kind of bleed out of people, see. So it’s just more pleasant sitting behind you in class when you’re having happy thoughts. Kind of a selfish motivation to cheer you up, but the Sorting Hat put me in Slytherin for a reason, I guess.”
The girl’s aura went all fluttery and nervous while she was talking, which Luna guessed made sense because of the whole secret thing? Though that was a little confusing. See, Luna could tell that the ‘not trying to’ part was a lie based on how her colors smeared over each other, so that bit was probably the secret part? Or… that was just one part of it? This was a bit confusing. Luna could feel her own aura wandering in multiple directions at once, all swoopy and unfocused. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t know it was a secret that you sat behind me in class. I’m not really sure how to… um… I guess aversion charms could stop other people from finding out? Or maybe a befuddlement spell? But I can only-”
“Hold on a second, Luna, no need to panic.” The girl interrupted. All of her nervousness from earlier was gone in a flash, and the orange that had been creeping into her aura was glowing like a sunset now as she struggled to hold in a laugh. “The secret bit is that I’m a legilimens, not that I sit behind you.”
“Oh.” Luna giggled a little bit at herself. “I suppose that makes a bit more sense. But I already knew that part, so I thought it had to be something else.”
The girl stared at her for a minute, suddenly completely bewildered, all that glowing green curiosity turned opaque and fluttery. “You…” Suddenly a spark of orange lit up the dark green, slowly smouldering and swirling out until it was almost overtaking the confusion. “That is to say,” she drawled (or she tried to, anyway, it more came out like she was slurring her vowels) in an amused voice, “that you knew that I can just casually read your mind, but didn’t know that I sit behind you in class.”
“Oh. Yes?” Luna said, confused again. She thought that being confused at confusion should have a special word to describe it, because it was an emotion she had been having rather frequently since coming to Hogwarts. It was sort of shaped like concentric circles…
The girl let a laugh escape her, all the nervous tension in her aura gone. “Honestly, Luna. I don’t know what I was worried about. You know that most people would be creeped out by the idea of somebody looking in on their thoughts, right? I know you caught that I was lying about doing it on purpose.”
“But why should I be creeped out?” Luna wondered aloud. “Everyone tries to show other people their thoughts all the time. Talking and thinking are just the same thing with the colors changed a bit.”
The girl blinked, then started talking excitedly. “Exactly! Well, I guess the problem is that most people don’t like being honest. Everybody thinks the things that go on in their head are weird and nobody wants to hear about it. It’s bloody stupid when most people think pretty much the same things! If people weren’t so… er… sorry,” she cut herself off, looking a little awkward for some reason. Luna didn’t really know why, though.
She just hummed to the tune that was still floating around, nodding at what the girl had said. People’s auras were much more similar than they were different. But people somehow thought that the color of their clothes mattered more than the color of their souls just because they were easier to see, so Luna didn’t really know what to think.
The girl narrowed her eyes at Luna. “And then there’s you, of course. I don’t think I’ve ever felt an angry or unpleasant thought from you…” a little flush crept into the girl’s cheeks, her aura flickering into a shade of reddish-pink. “Honestly, you’re kind of soothing to be around. Um… yeah, so, anyway, that’s why I kind of read your mind on purpose sometimes…”
Luna felt her nose wrinkle a bit as her mouth twisted into an amused smile. “You could have just said that it’s easier for you to catch gloomglurts than most people. Of course I’ll try not to be sad if it’s contagious.”
“Yep, that’s exactly what I’m talking about.” The girl’s grabby aura almost seemed to wrap Luna in a hug. “Merlin, how can you be so pure?”
Luna just hummed again, trying not to giggle as her world went fuzzy with orange and iridescent green enveloping her.
The two of them just stood there like that for a minute, their auras all tangled together, before the girl let out a comfortable sigh and spoke in a rushed voice. “Say, Luna, it might be a bit strange to ask this when my only real reason is that accidentally invading your privacy isn’t painful, but do you think we could be friends?”
Luna frowned and looked up at the ceiling, thinking quickly. It only took her a minute to get kind of sad. “Oh, probably not.”
The girl in green just stared at her, her aura going all nervous and swoopy again. The colors didn’t really change, though. “Right… why not? I know this is kind of out of nowhere, but I didn’t really get the impression that you dislike me. You know, mind reader and all that.”
Luna frowned at her. “But I don’t know your name! I thought introductions were supposed to come before being friends.”
Wait, had she had it wrong this entire time? Maybe it was the other way around, and that was why people thought she was so weird. And she had tried so hard to get it right too! And… oh, the girl was laughing at her now. But her aura was all golden orange and clingy… so it wasn’t a bad thing, Luna thought?
“Luna, you dummy!” The girl choked out between laughs. “Where do I even… you know you can just ask, right?”
Luna pouted at her. “But I decided that I’m not talking to people earlier! You forgot that tears and puddles are the same thing.”
The warm golden orange was almost overwhelming, bubbling and washing over Luna so fiercely it was nearly impossible to maintain her pale blue mood. The girl was just so happy with her, and Luna still had no clue why! “Sorry, sorry, my bad. You’re right, I totally forgot. And I just assumed because I sit behind you in class, you would’ve picked up on my name like when I got called or something.” The girl bit her lip, clearly trying to hold back a smile. “I guess I should properly introduce myself…” she stepped back into a mock curtsy, putting a snooty Cambrian accent on in place of her natural Charing dialect. “Greetings, Lady Lovegood. I am Lyra Black, of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. I’m honored to make your acquaintance.”
Luna gave a hesitant smile. “Oh, but isn’t it still out of order? I thought you were supposed to greet people at the start…”
Lyra gave her an amused look. “Luna, I really don’t think it matters. If talking is the same as thinking, the order probably doesn’t matter either.”
Luna shook her head firmly. “Nope. Thinking and talking are like stacking blocks. Before came, um, what on depend they. The shape changes when they’re backwards.”
Lyra giggled. “Alright, point taken. Just don’t start thinking backwards. That would be super confusing.”
Luna hummed. “Oh, but I think that would be fun…”
The orange in Lyra’s aura tickled at Luna, prompting her to giggle. But after a moment, it calmed, then gradually faded into the nervous anticipatory green that had been so prominent earlier. “Anyway, now that we’re introduced… if you’re still not talking to people, you can just think whether or not you want to be friends…”
Luna bit her lip, suddenly nervous herself. Her silly aura had changed colors before she had even noticed. She would be really happy to be friends with Lyra, but she had been trying so hard this whole week, and all of the greens from earlier had still turned…
“Nuh-uh. None of that,” Lyra interrupted. “Honestly Luna, you’re a bit weird, but I know what I’m getting into. I can literally read your mind and I’m still asking, so unless you’re really holding back how crazy you are to yourself, I don’t think you’ve got much to worry about.”
Oh. So… friends. Luna looked into Lyra’s eyes and felt all of her nervousness slip away, gradually replaced by a bubbly warmth that was swirling through her aura in bright yellow, quickly overflowing. Like, really, it was as though somebody had dumped a bucket of perfectly yellow paint in her aura, and now Luna was swimming in it, struggling to stay afloat. How was she supposed to think anything at Lyra, when there was just so much? And of course, because happy and sad were the same thing, really, now Luna was about to cry because it was so much. Bounce to needed she happy so was she! Face her on out breaking was that grin the stop to unable, place in jumped she! Lyra at happy her pushed she instead so, still people to talking wasn’t she but (why was that, again, anyway?).
As Luna pushed the swirling mass of bubbly yellow-orange at her, Lyra half sat down, half collapsed onto the floor, her aura going pinkish-orange. She stared forward blankly for a moment like she was in shock for a half-beat before suddenly devolving into a giggling mess. After a good minute of this, she tried to say something, but the words kind of came out slurred (or backwards?), and she started laughing harder. Luna guessed she was just a little overwhelmed. Oops? But she was pretty sure she had just made a friend, which meant emotions worked the same when expressed backwards? At east if the person listening had the right colors, anyway. So that was two important discoveries today! Daddy would be so pleased! Oh, and she should probably write that she made a new friend, because that was super exciting, and… whoopsie, the happy was bubbling over again. But Lyra was still all pinkish-orange and glowing, so it was probably fine…
Oh. Had her tears just gotten turned into a puddle?