Work Text:
Download the filk by right-clicking this link here (2.5 MB) and clicking save-as. Or listen/download from the audiofic archive here.
Based on Rewrite the Stars, from The Greatest Showman
With thanks to Sing King for the minus one track here
Lyrics
[CUCUMBER-BRO]
You know I hate you
It’s not a secret I try to hide
This is your story
So don’t keep saying your hands are tied
You claim it’s what people like
So who am I to critique
your stallion power fantasy
Fuck you, go take a hike
No one can stop me if I decide
to write this angry screed
Why don’t you rewrite this trash
You sell-out talentless hack
Who says I’m trying to bash
This is important feedback
It’s up to you
Just listen to me
You don’t have to write so lazily
What if you rewrite this trash
Then I won’t have to harass
you tonight
[AIRPLANE-BRO]
You think it’s easy
You think I wanted to write this way
But there are mountains
of bills that I have got to pay
I’m just a down on my luck
webnovel author whose life
relies on posting every day
Guess I’ll make Binghe fuck
wife seven hundred and three
to keep my hordes of fans at bay
Wish I could rewrite this trash
How I wish I could be free
Too bad I needed the cash
that comes from publishing daily
It’s not up to you
It’s not up to me
When we live in this capitalist society
No time to rewrite this trash
Stealing these tropes to rehash
Tonight
[BOTH]
Can’t believe we both isekai’ed
Can’t believe the dumb way I died
Is this sadist system our guide
[AIRPLANE-BRO]
This is impossible
[CUCUMBER-BRO]
Fucking impossible
[AIRPLANE-BRO]
You’re so impossible
[SYSTEM]
Everything’s possible ^_~
[BOTH]
How do we live out this trash
Unwilling villains-to-be
Trying to save our ass
from wife plots and stolen worldbuilding
It’s up to you
And it’s up to me
To sidestep our sad sack destiny
Why did you/I write all this trash
Still at least Binghe’s badass...
[AIRPLANE-BRO]
You know I warned you
My son has you in his sights
Well I can’t help you
You made him gay and
It serves you right
ETA: More incredible cover art by Lemon Boi it's so good!!