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I am tired of hiding
Snape complained
Dumbledore hummed in response
This is not who I am
Snape continued
I am no more myself in this institution than I was among the madman's sycophants
Was exchanging one mask for another worth it?
Am I erasing myself entirely?
(he hated that Dumbledore became his psychotherapist
but how could he talk to anyone else?)
Ah
That's a good question
Dumbledore mused
I'm afraid I can't give you an answer
(he never actually answered anything)
What I can offer is a distraction
Something you will perhaps hate
But it might help you determine who you are beside your usual roles
I hate it already
Snape said
Dumbledore smiled
What is it then?
A masquerade
Snape stared at Dumbledore silently
(he was having déjà vu
and doubts that a masquerade could help)
It's on Valentine's day
Dumbledore said
Everyone will be wearing masks
You can be whoever you want
Snape gave it a thought
(he didn't really want to be anyone
but did he want to be himself?)
It's nonsensical
Snape said at last
You're only suggesting to put yet another mask
Even further obscuring my true self
You should be careful of course
Dumbledore said
Unless it is your goal
What is?
To become your mask
(had it already happened?
Snape couldn't remember
but something else was bothering him)
I fail to see why it has to be Valentine's
You know why
Dumbledore responded
(his eyes twinkled)
But if you absolutely need to hear it
Love is the greatest power
I am in no need of such a thing
Snape said
The kind most celebrated on this day
Perhaps not
Dumbledore agreed
But other kinds of love are no less powerful
You could do with some love for yourself
I am in no need of such a thing
Snape said again
(he didn't have an ounce of love for himself
and he knew that Dumbledore knew it
and hated him for that)
You can't be yourself if you detest your very essence
Dumbledore said
Let us all hope for a miracle
They do tend to like special dates
Snape said nothing for a while
(he didn't know what to say
and was wary of such miracles)
This has been the most inconsequential talk
Snape said finally
May I be excused?
Of course
Dumbledore sighed
I can only ask you to heed my words
I will not take part in this farce
Snape said and made his exit
(they both knew he would
and Snape was already regretting it
but the masquerade was inescapable)
.