Chapter Text
“That’s it!” Petey gasped in surprise, “I need someone who thinks like me, who acts like me, who has a wretched soul like me!”
He spun around, posing dramatically, “I need another me!”
_______
“Aha! My cloning machine is ready!” He felt himself grow with excitement. Tapping his claws together in quick succession. He leaned up to press the start button when a dial caught his eye.
He hummed, resting his fingers on his chin in slight confusion.
“What does that do?” He wondered allowed, fiddling with the small dial. It ranged from one to a hundred and one. Which, seemed strange. He looked around to the side of the machine, but no label rested beside, above, or below it.
Petey leaned backwards humming to himself. Titling his head to the side.
He played with idea of re-reading the manual, but then quickly shook that thought away. He didn’t need the stupid manual! He was the most genius cat in the world!
Petey hummed to himself again, “Maybe it means the level of evil my clone should be?” He nodded to himself, “That’s gotta be it!”
He smirked devilishly, ears flattening as he cranked the dial all the way to the right. Resting it on a hundred, then titled it one more. What harm could one more do?
With the dial set on a hundred and one he smashed the start button. Lights immediately flashing and the machine whirring to life. He laughed, head thrown back dramatically.
Stepping back, his eyes trained on the machine. His clone would help him take down all good doers once and for all!
His grin widened when the machine dinged ready. The lights flashing green.
He reached forward, hands clasped on the door’s handle. Pulling it open, smoke billowing out of the entrance, and seeing-
Petey blinked, looking straight ahead to only see the back of the machine, he blinked. Eyes slowly tracing downwards to see a small, striped orange kitten.
He shot backwards, “Huh?”
Suddenly, without warning, the machine vibrated to life once again. Energy forming inside of it. Petey gasped, throwing the door shut.
“Oh-oh! It just wasn’t done!” He laughed nervously to himself, but felt his heart stutter at the now rapid beeps of the machine. One after another, he counted them in the back of his mind.
96, 97, 98, 99, 100…. 101.
Then, finally the machine dinged ready again. Petey gulped, fur standing on end.
His paw shook as it latched around the door handle. Slowly pulling it open and seeing-
“Ah!” Petey yowled, a large weight falling a top of him. His head smacked the ground in a painful thud.
He winced, eyes shut in pain. He lifted a paw to rub at his head, when he noticed a soft weight holding it down. He felt his heart drop.
Slowly, Petey opened his eyes. More than a dozen baby kittens rested on top of him, more than a few still stood in the cloning machine. A couple others were scattered beside him, still reeling from the fall.
Petey gasped in surprise. Scooting backwards. The sound alerted all of the tiny kittens and they turned to him with wide, green eyes.
Petey stood with a jolt. Scrambling to grab the small piece of instruction paper. His eyes quickly darted over it.
“Step four, wait eighteen years for your clone to reach adult hood… eighteen years!?” He gasped out, hand coming up to clasp over his head, “No!”
“Papa?”
He blinked, turning around slightly to see an entire herd of his kitten clones. Staring up at him.
One of them, the first one if Petey had to guess. Was standing the closest to him. Small paw pads coming closer to hug his leg.
Petey hopped onto one foot, shaking the tiny cat off of him.
“What?! I am not your papa!” He yowled out loudly in response. Immediate the small swarm of kittens start to cry. No, not cry, scream.
He yelped at the noise. Slapping his hands over his ears and recoiling back. The hundred and one cries of kittens sounding like a fire alarm turned up to a million.
He shot forward, scrambling to grab as many as he could.
With a handful of sobbing kittens he shoved them back into the machine. Slamming the door behind him, he lifted up the instruction paper again.
“-Hit the undo button, sold separately?” His eyes widened, running over to his computer. And then successfully tripped over a mountain of kittens.
He groaned from his place on the floor. Fists curling and claws scratching the ground beneath him. He sunk into the concrete.
How was he going to defeat Dogman now? He couldn’t have a hundred stupid, whiny kittens following him around! Petey groaned as he felt another kitten snuggle up to his side. Scratch that, he thought bleakly, a hundred and one.
He sat up, taking a couple of eager kittens with him. They were practically magnetized to his body, their tiny kitten claws dug deep into his fur.
One of them, going a bit too deep.
“Yowch!” He winced, picking up the sharp clawed kitten by its scruff, “Easy on the claws, killer!”
The kitten in his grasped gasped, eyes sparkling.
“Yeah! I wanna be called Killer!” The striped kitten giggled. Petey rolled his eyes and dropped the now named Killer from his paws.
Another kitten hopped into his lap, apparently forgetting all about his short lived crying session.
“Ooh! Ooh! What’s my name?” Its high pitched voice squeaked.
Petey groaned loudly, “You don’t get a name! Once I order the undo button you’ll all be out of my life!”
The tiny kitten tilted its head, Petey rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“You know? Gone, finished, term-i-nated?” Petey ranted on incredulously. Figures these stupid clones wouldn’t know anything he was saying.
“Ooh! Yeah! I wanna be called Nate!” The striped kitten bounced up and down on its paws.
Petey deflated, frustration practically billowing off of him. He stood and moved to his desk, kittens clinging onto him in any possible way. The door to the cloning machine falling open with another group of kittens tumbling out.
He quickly ordered the undo button, which would come close to a weeks time. He hissed in annoyance.
One of the smaller kittens, hanging onto his tail mimicked the noise. And then giggled to himself, leaping onto another kitten to hiss in its face.
That started a trend with all of the tiny clones. They broke out into tiny play fights by the pair, hissing and spitting. Playfully pawing at one another. Rolling and smacking into his desk and supplies.
“Hey!” He yelled, scrambling to separate the play-fighting.
“I don’t want any fighting in my lab!” He looked to his army of kittens, “This is a very delicate place, with very delicate things, which means no stupid kittens messing up my stuff!” He yelled through gritted teeth.
“So no horse playing,” he pulled kittens of one another, “No hissing,” he sat them down in a neat row, “No scratching or biting or spitting or even raspberry’s!”
One of the kittens in the bunch excitedly stood, pushing the rest of the clones away from him.
“I wanna be named Raspberry!”
Petey let out a groan and tiredly slumped to the floor.
_________
After finally corralling all of the kittens into one spot. A couple blankets laid across the floor beneath them, because of their annoying, incessant complaining that the floor was too cold to sit on.
“Alright listen up! You are all my clones and that means evil runs through all hundred and one of your veins,” he grinned.
His tiny clones responded with varying responses. He continued on.
“You are destined to be a villains!”
“Ooh is that fun?” The kitten closest to him asked.
“So much fun!” He crossed his arms, “Of course fun.. surrounded by y’know miserable suffering, oppressing loneliness, and like zero appreciation- like zero!” He grumbled.
The kittens giggled, Petey looked back out into the sea of kittens.
“Do you have any idea what I’m saying?” His tail twitched in annoyance.
“No,” One of the kittens muttered. Then another one jumped up, “I wanna be miserable too!”
Petey nodded, “That’s the spirit kid,”
He turned to make his leave. Heading out into the city with another evil ploy to destroy dog man. When one of the kittens grabbed hold of his tail.
“Wait!” Petey stopped, “Where are you going Papa?”
Petey groaned and turned, “I’m not your Papa and it’s serious business that isn’t any of your business.”
The small herd of kittens blinked at him, then all of them, opened their mouths for a resounding.
“Why?”
The tallest cat felt himself deflate, utterly depleted.
He sunk to the floor, “Alright y’know what?” He put on a fake smile, “How about this? I let you all pick your names, huh? Would that be fun?”
His small army of clones all voiced their excitement. Petey nodded.
“But! After that you leave me alone and don’t ask anymore stupid questions!” He said crossing his arms. A handful of kittens climbed up onto his lap, one of them clawed up his back to rest on top of his head.
Its claws digging deep into his fur. He winced, grabbing at the kitten.
“I know which one you are,” he said with a roll of his eyes.
“Killer!” The tiny kitten grinned. A sudden patch of fondness rolled over his chest, one that he quickly shook away. There was no way, no how, he’d ever get attached to these mongrels!
A tiny kitten rubbed its cheek across Petey’s lowered hand. A purr building in his throat.
The tallest of the cats looked down, setting Killer on the floor. He blinked, this was one of the smaller clones, the machine apparently having ran out of juice by the time it made the last couple dozens.
He had to admit, they were cute. He picked up the tiny clone, he was coming to fancy.. just a couple of them. Maybe, possibly.
“How ‘bout you be named,” Petey rolled the name around on his tongue, “Fancy?”
The small kitten giggled with joy, “Yay! My names Fancy!”
Petey sat the kitten down, and hummed. He would need a way to remember all of their different names. Quickly he scrambled to his desk. Slamming open a drawer and taking out a tiny collar. It was a soft green, it matched his eyes.
A feeling of nostalgia washed over him. But he shook it away. He easily placed the collar inside of the cloning machine. Cranking up the dial to a hundred and one and stepping back.
Just as it had before, when he opened the door a hundred and one collars met him. He bent down, scooping up as many as he could and transferring them to his desk.
He reached into another drawer and snagged a small black marker.
Tearing the cap off with his teeth and spitting out the top casually. The cap bounced off one of the clones, who crossed his arms with a gruff.
As he wrote down the four names onto separate collar tags that were already established: Killer, Nate, Raspberry, and Fancy. He huffed, it was definitely a weird selection of names.
As he passed out the collars to the respective clones, one of them tapped on his leg.
He looked down, “What?” He asked bitterly.
“You broke a rule!” The clone stood with crossed arms, “You said no horse playing, no hissing, no scratching or biting or spitting or even raspberry’s! And you spat the top of the marker at me!”
Petey rolled his eyes. The rest of the clones letting out a resounding ‘ooo’.
He sighed, “Well I know what your name’s gonna be smart aleck.” Petey taunted, writing down Alex on one of the collar’s tags.
The now named Alex bounced in glee. Grabbing at the collar and looking down at the tag, he then bore a scowl.
“This says Alex! And you said smart aleck!”
Petey let out a frustrated laugh, “Alright, moving on, who else wants a name?”
A small stampede of kittens were suddenly at his feet.
“Lil’ Petey! Lil’ Petey!” His first clone yelled in excitement. Petey looked down, writing the name in quick succession. Only feeling a little bit of warmth hit his heart.
It took more than he would like to admit to finally have passed out all of the collars to all of kittens. It was strange that though they were all his clones, they all still had so many different personalities and characteristics.
Finally, he was done. The small kittens all off in their own groups to discuss their names and tussle.
He felt a tiny paw on his leg, he looked down and blinked in surprise. It was one of the smaller clones, Petey theorized to be the very last. It’s fur white in some spots, like the machine had ran out of ink.
He bent down, scooping up the tiny kitten in his paws. This clone was definitely quieter than the others, bowing down in nervousness as Petey picked him up.
“You forgot to name me Papa,” his tiny clone said quietly.
“Psh, I’m a genius I don’t forget anything.” He waved his hand, then turned to look at his desk to see a stray collar with a blank name tag resting a top of it.
“But, even a genius makes a mistake every once and awhile.” He said nonchalantly, reaching over to set the clone on his desk and pick up the marker.
“So whad’ya want kid?” He asked, his head slumping into his paw.
The small kitten hummed, his white paw coming up to touch his chin. He sat quietly for a long moment, his white tail with orange splotches gracefully waved through the air.
Petey blinked and felt himself sit up further. The kitten looked up at him.
“How about,” he swallowed, lifting a hand to softly pet the top of his clone’s head, “How about Grace?”
The small kit gasped and then grinned with excitement, “Yes! I’m Grace! I wanna be named Grace!” He sat up and jumped in place.
He couldn’t stifle his quiet chuckle as he quickly wrote down the name. Tugging the tiny cat closer to clasp it around Grace’s neck. The white kitten looked down at the tag, holding it up to read it.
Petey picked up the small kitten and sat her down on the ground with the other hundred clones.
Finally, he was done. He felt the ache of sleep weigh him down. But, he was supposed to catch dog man today and finally put a stop to his good doerniss! He glanced out the window to see the setting sun, then another glance to see his clones start to slow down, yawning and curling up next to each other.
Well, he guess it could wait for tomorrow. Slowly he stood, stretching out his arms.
“Alright! Everyone it’s bed time!” He said with a loud ring of authority.
All the kittens awed, their tiny name tags jingling as they followed him to the upstairs bedroom. Petey stopped at the top of the stairs, counting them as each one passed.
“96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101.” He nodded as they hopped up onto the final step. Petey eagerly bustled them into the storage room.
“But Papa! This rooms too small for all of us!” One of his clones whined.
Petey shook his head, “Well what do you suppose I do, Needy? Have you sleep with me?”
“Hey! My names not Needy! It’s Francis!” The tiny kit held up his name tag.
“Yeah, well, your nickname’s Needy now.”
“Rats!” Tiny Francis stomped his foot.
As he walked away from the storage room, a bustling herd of kittens followed him. He turned with an angry stance.
“Woah! Woah! Where do you think you’re going?” He asked with a growl.
“We’re sleeping with you tonight!” One of the kittens said with a grin.
“No you’re not!” Petey answered with a snarl.
“Please!” A tiny kitten through himself onto Petey’s leg. The other kittens joined in, throwing so much weight on him he was forced to clumsily fall backwards.
The stampede of kittens crawled over his body to reach his face. Their tiny paws poking at his sides and underbelly. He couldn’t stifle his laughter as they did. He squirmed, the tiny kittens unaware of their tickling.
“Stawhp-!” Petey laughed, rolling over to shake the remaining kittens loose. The group of kittens giggled as he did, slipping down the slope of his tail.
He looked down at the kittens. All of them starring back up at him with large green eyes. Wide with unconditional love.
He felt himself accept defeat. “Fine! You can sleep in my room,” he didn’t let them get too excited, “But not in my bed!”
_______
Petey groaned as he felt the last tiny kitten slip into bed with him. It was a wonder his bed frame could even hold a hundred and one kittens.
The silence of his room now overrun with a hundred and one quiet purrs.
He felt drowsiness overtake him. His blinks becoming slower as he tried in vain to stare up angrily at the ceiling. He would deny it if anyone asked, but he slept better that night than he had since his mother passed.
Slowly, he drifted off. Curling up tightly under a sea of tiny clones.