Chapter Text
Jaemin’s hand trembled as he held the knife to Daon’s neck and faced Suhyeon. Daon was what Suhyeon wanted. And he couldn’t let him have it. He had to keep him. They had to stay together.
Daon broke out of his grip and ran towards Suhyeon. He rushed forward.
The knife in his hand plunged into someone. He was still staring at Suhyeon who was too far away.
The body in front of him slid away. All he could see was Suhyeon and his face staring at the floor in horror.
He barreled into him, pressing one arm across his neck and with the other pushed the knife into his stomach. They staggered back until they hit the wall. Suhyeon gasped and coughed as Jaemin pressed his arm against his throat.
“You ruined everything,” he screamed. “It was supposed to be us, together until we die.”
Suhyeon struggled against his arm and his hand touched Jaemin’s, his touch icy compared to the warm blood flowing over his fingers. He yanked the knife out and stabbed him again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Suhyeon coughed again, this time sending droplets of blood onto his face. His hand weakly pushed against Jaemin’s arms and chest. His lips were covered in blood and his face was pale. Beads of sweat were forming along his hairline and rolling down his forehead.
Jaemin released the pressure on his chest and Suhyeon slowly sank to the floor. He looked up at Jaemin, his eyes pleading. He grasped at his clothes leaving splotchy red marks against the white fabric.
He tried to speak but could only gasp and cough as his mouth filled with blood. He spit out a mouthful and then leaned back against the wall again, looking up at Jaemin.
Jaemin stood over him in a strange fascination. For the first time since he’d met Suhyeon he couldn’t bring himself to look away.
Suhyeon stopped trying to speak, but his hands stayed gripping the fabric of his pants. His breathing was ragged as he stared up at Jaemin.
Sirens sounded in the distance growing steadily louder.
With each breath his eyelids fluttered open and closed. Open and closed. Open. Closed. And then he was still.
The dull thud of the knife hitting the floor startled Jaemin. He stepped back looking at his bloody hands, and then at his clothes which were no longer white, and finally at the pool of blood around Suyheon’s body.
It was over.
Jaemin wasn’t sure how much time passed between the moment he watched Suhyeon stop breathing and when he found himself handcuffed in the back of a police car. The cold metal dug into his wrists and stuck to the drying blood on his hands.
They were driving. The scenery passed quickly as he stole a glance out the window.
He had to do it, he told himself. He couldn’t lose.
Lose Daon. Lose to Suhyeon. It didn’t matter anymore.
He closed his eyes and the sound of Suhyeon’s gasps played in his head at full volume. He shook his head. The pain of the cuffs on his wrists snapped him back to reality. His hands stuck to each other, the blood acting like glue.
Suhyeon’s blood.
He thought of Suhyeon’s hand in his, all those years ago. His strong grip as they walked ahead of Daon.
Let’s pretend to date, his own words echoed in his mind. Just in front of Daon. That way it’s fair.
He couldn’t lose Daon to Suhyeon. He couldn’t lose Suhyeon to Daon.
Suhyeon’s cheeky smile that blossomed like a Night Queen flower, blooming only once a year.
Suhyeon’s frown that stayed on his face even when he was sleeping. Lounging in the back of the library.
Suhyeon’s kiss that he had experienced exactly once, so hungry and desperate.
Suhyeon’s eyes, glinting with mischief and passion, that only appeared when he was looking at someone else.
“No,” he muttered, “no, no.”
Suhyeon’s eyes, staring up at him, pleading with him, as he bled on the floor.
“Take me back,” he said, softly at first.
Tears filled his eyes. Hot angry tears, rolling down his cheeks.
“Take me back,” he screamed, “Take me back.”
He strained at the cuffs and threw himself against the door. His head banged on the window.
“Take me back,” he sobbed.
He threw himself against the door again. Blood smeared on the window.
“It can’t end like this,” he muttered.
Tears clouded his eyes.
“I loved him,” he whispered, as he hit the door again.
His head was pounding and dark spots swam in the sea of tears.
I killed the man I love.