Chapter Text
1.1
Jon has recorded this statement- this damn statement he named 'The Anglerfish'- five times already. He didn't even have to look at the statement, to properly read it, in order to record it. The words flowed out of his mouth like water.
He knows by now that the tapes recorded on the tape recorder have a special thing about them. Surely, there's a reason why it won't let him record. But, either way, every time he travels back to this point, he always puts them through the computer, just to see if there's anything different. It's never different. Well, perhaps other than the fact he no longer felt like someone was rummaging through his brain since the third 'loop', but that's pretty much it.
"Recording ends," he said, then clicked the recorder closed. He slumped against his chair, utterly spent, just like he always feels whenever he records these tape recorded statements. Another thing to note, he supposed.
There was a knock, and Jon quickly straightened himself up, attempting to look professional.
"Jon!" came Tim's voice. "Unlock the door! I've got something to tell you, and it's really, really important!"
Jon sighed, getting up from his chair and unlocking the door. The moment he did, Tim pushed him into his office and locked the door. Jon glared at him, tired from the statement he just recorded. He tried to speak, but Tim beat him to it.
"Can you get Elias to change the fire suppression system to CO2?"
Jon blinked, confused. His mind wandered to the worm incident (and the fact that after the worms, Sasha always came back wrong, and his memories were wrong, and he just knew that something happened to Sasha when she goes to kickstart the fire suppression system, and it was related to the statement about Graham Folger, but he doesn't know-).
"I already asked him to, uh, do that," he blurted out. Tim stared at him, before relaxing.
"Good! Good, good, good."
There were a few more moments in silence, before Tim sighed.
"I can't keep anything from you," he admitted. Jon tried to speak again, but then Tim said, "I'm in a time loop. I know you won't believe me, but there's just something that wants me to tell it to you-"
"You too?" Jon quietly asked. If it was a prank (which he hoped to god was not the case), then... He doesn't know what he'll do, actually, but he won't take it well. He's tired of this repeating loop. However, if someone was there with him, then maybe things would go right for once. Tim gaped, before grinning and slinging an arm around the shorter man's shoulders.
"Hell yeah, time looping buddies! Now, how about we go get lunch, bossman?"
Jon stared at Tim. The man who he's closest to, and the man who is now trapped in these loops with him. Maybe. He doesn't know yet.
"Okay," he finally said. When Tim whooped and ran to go tell Sasha (the real Sasha, not whoever replaces her in the aftermath of the worm attack), Jon relaxed. Maybe this won't be too bad.
1.2
Jon came to his senses and realized very quickly that he was not in the Archives. He definitely was not in the Archives, with statements shoved into bookshelves and three assistants just outside his office door, which he now kept open. Has kept open since the fourteenth loop.
No, this was an older place. He saw an office, but he couldn't move. A song was playing in the background. Some song from the 1950s.
(He couldn't move, just like how he just stood there as Evan Pritchard walked into the giant spider's web, as Evan walked to his death. He couldn't move, but he could see. Was that better? He didn't know, but he can't fucking move-)
Then, he heard a gasp, and his worldview shifted, going to the side as someone coughed.
"Fuck, that's never a good feeling," someone said. "John? Can you see the sun?"
Jon flinched. "How do you know my name? Who are you? Where are you? Why can't I move?"
The person let out a 'huh', before saying, "Hello, uhm, John? Are you- what's the phrase? Ah. Are you feeling a bit loopy? Do you need an anchor or are you already one?"
"Am I what now?" Jon asked. He wanted to move, wanted to fidget, to ask Tim where the rubik's cube was (he never told Jon where he put it, and hasn't told him yet), but he couldn't. All he could do was panic and watch.
The person sighed. "Are you a new looper? God, the runs where someone replaces John are the worst. N-Not to say I don't like you, but I'm just a bit more used to- Oh god, I have to explain everything to you, don't I?"
"Evidently so," Jon grumbled, forcing his panic down.
"Alright," the person said. "We have some time before Eddie gets here, so while I hide Parker's body, I'll explain stuff, alright?"
"While you hide the what?!"
"Long story," the man said, and then Jon realized, as this man moved, that he was seeing what the man saw when he saw a very dead body. "I'm Arthur, the Anchor of this branch. You are?"
"Jonathan Sims. Call me Jon. I don't know what you mean by Anchor."
Arthur laughed softly. "The Magnus Archives branch, then, hm? You'll learn. Now, here are the basics."
1.3
Tim burst into Jon's office, just as Jon was about to call Tim in.
"I learned everything!" Tim excitedly said. "So we're in this massive tree called Yggdrasil-"
Jon held a hand up, and Tim shut up. With a small smile (he's been smiling more and more lately, in these loops), Jon said, "I got the explaination too. Who do you think is the Anchor, here?"
"I mean, we started looping at the same time," Tim said as Jon led him to one of the chairs that was just across Jon's own chair. "Maybe we're both Anchors! Dramatic gasp!"
Jon rolled his eyes fondly. "Must you always say 'dramatic gasp' rather than actually doing it?"
"Oh, but I simply must!" Tim dramatically exclaimed. "Last loop, some guy named John Doe replaced you. It was horrid! I had to do all the live statements because he couldn't treat them right! He was just whining about some guy named 'Arthur' half the time and he didn't even like Marto's tea!"
"Scandalous," Jon said in amusement as Tim slumped on the desk. He's actually started drinking Martin's tea, and he must admit, it's pretty good. At least Martin's good for something.
"We call the last loop a 'fused loop', correct?" he clarified after a moment of silence. Tim just gave him a thumbs up, head still resting on the desk. Alright, then.
1.4
Tim Awoke when he was in the middle of a statement. He paused, looked at the computer he was recording it on, then the statement. After that, he looked up and glanced around. This was Jon's office, what was he doing here?
Then, memories hit him. He had a decent life, up until his brother (god, why couldn't he ever save Danny?) got... eaten by a giant spider that came from a children's book that Tim was reading out of curiosity. He got chosen as Head Archivist (why was it never Sasha?! She was more suited for this!) instead of Jon.
The door swung open, and there stood Jon, very not-professional, for some reason (leather jacket and all and wow, was it getting hotter or was it just Tim?), and very out of breath. He slammed the door shut and sighed, making his way to where Tim usually sat.
"So, this is a variant loop," Jon said. "And you're the Head Archivist."
Tim nodded, still shaken by his loop memories (flashes of that damned spdier still ran through his mind) "That I am."
"And according to the memories of this loop, I didn't..."
Even if Jon didn't say anything, Tim knew what he meant. After the thirtieth loop, Jon broke and told him about 'Mr. Spider'. Then, he told Jon about- about Danny, just a few loops after that. And the CIrcus.
"At least Sasha and Martin are the same," Tim decided on saying. Jon nodded. At least.
1.5
"Sing! Sing! Sing!"
"Alright, alright!" Jon groaned, and Tim and Sasha cheered. Martin laughed softly, sat right beside Tim. He was apparently in this band called 'The Mechanisms' and Martin thought his voice sounded familiar. The man burst into his office and asked if he was Jonny D'ville and, well, Jon was terrible at lying.
He cleared his throat then put on what his Unawake self (and Georgie, oh god Georgie-) called 'D'ville Mode'.
"Like whiskey laced with gasoline, we're deadly when we're drunk! So shut your face and settle down, you sneering little punks!"
Elias walked in after a few songs and then it just became awkward when he asked Jon to sing 'Old King Cole'.
1.6
It was bound to happen eventually, Jon reasoned to himself when he walked into the Archives and saw a fourth desk and a fourth person. His memories hit him, and apparently, this person was named Gerard Keay. The very same Gerard Keay from statements 0132806 (Page Turner, Tim named), 0121102 (First Aid), and 0020406 (there wasn't an official name yet, so they just settled on 'Old Passages').
"Hey bossman!" Tim greeted. "You look kinda tired. DId you do an acid rain check?"
Acid rain check. A simple phrase that he and Tim decided on instead of the usual 'loopy' or 'need an anchor' stuff that other loopers used since they both didn't really like it. They used to make sure that yes, the other person was looping.
It was also a running joke between the two of them. They both didn't know the actual meaning of the term 'rain check' and assumed it meant something along the lines of 'checking something out'. Thus, the phrase was born after a suggestion that Arthur gave.
"A few minutes ago," Jon replied, massaging his temple. "It feels like I don't have any energy."
"Are you alright, Jon?" Martin asked. They got off to a more decent start (Jon couldn't lie when he said that Martin was growing on him with each passing loop) this time around.
"Wait, didn't you read that statement that couldn't record digitally?" Sasha asked from behind her computer. Gerard perked up. "The one you recorded on the tape recorder?"
"A statement that couldn't be recorded digitally, huh?" Gerard mused. "What was the statement about?"
After Jon quickly summarized the statement (he could still remember it word for word, the same way that he could remember every non-digital statement, live or not), Gerard leaned back and seemed to weigh some options, before deciding on something.
"Do you know about Robert Smirke's classification of fears?"
1.7
Things were strange this loop. It was a variant loop, Jon could tell. For the first time, when he read the statement he always read first like clockwork whenever he Awakened, he felt energized. Not tired at all.
Then, he realized that there was a Gaze turned upon him. Was that what Gerard- Gerry called the Beholding? Memories flooded in, and Jon breathed out a shaky sigh.
He was a Beholding avatar. Has been since he isolated himself to dedicate himself to discovery and research. That isolation apparently was seen as a 'death' (the death of his old self, who was more social than baseline), and so he Became.
The Beholding shoved the baseline memories into his head, just in its perspective, and Jon froze. Then, it shoved memories of another timeline that was definitely a loop. Except, neither he nor Tim were there, and the Beholding (in a human form, somehow) was replacing some guy named Cecil.
Jon sighed and checked the time. He was lucky that it was nearing lunch, He sent Tim a quick text that he was going to join him for lunch and to ask Sasha and Martin to let them be for a bit.
"Great," Tim sighed. "You're an avatar. And one of the fucking fear gods that Gerry talked about a couple loops back is now..."
"Looping, yes," Jon said, before quietly asking, "Are you mad at me?"
Tim blinked. "Why would I be mad at you?"
"I'm like that thing that- that killed your brother. A-And I pushed you away, I was rude to you when I was Unawake. I'm a fucking monster-"
Tim shushed him and beckoned him to a hug. "Hey, now! I'm not mad at you. Unawake me was mad at you for that thing you did, but I know that the me right now not mad at you, Jon. You're not the thing that killed Danny. Avatar or not, you're still Jon. And hey! You can be a person while not being human!"
Jon laughed, letting himself relax in Tim's embrace. "Yeah, I suppose so."
Pride; a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.
"I think the Beholding is trying to tell me that it's proud," the avatar told Tim, voice muffled as he shoved his face into Tim's shoulder. "It just pushed the definition of 'pride' into my mind."
Then, it shoved some facts about the reason why people feel so satisfied when they're right. Maybe the Beholding wasn't as bad as Gerard made it sound like. That or it created a consciousness somehow.
Affirmation; the action or process of affirming something or being affirmed.
1.8
Jon wasn't Awake. Tim sent out a ping, he went into a 'Demon Slayer' loop as some guy named Kyojuro Rengoku and the local Anchors, Tanjiro and Nezuko, taught him some basic looper stuff, and only got one back, and he tried the acid rain check thing. Jon didn't get it
God, he hated these loops the most. Where Jon's an asshole and he's the only Anchor in the loop.
He searched up The Mechanisms and grinned, before calling for Sasha and Martin to come see what was on his computer. At least he'll be able to shove the fact that he knows that Jon's in a band into his face. The Beholding gave him some ways to rip the bandage off in the most sudden way possible.
1.9
The one-hundredth loop just had to be a fused loop. Tim and Jon were apparently greek gods (Hephaestus and Athena respectively) in a musical called 'EPIC: The Musical'. Odysseus filled them in pretty quickly. Or rather, he filled Jon in then asked him to tell Tim about it.
"Am I still called Athena?" Jon asked curiously. Odysseus shook his head.
"You're called 'Polyvoulos' more often," the local Anchor said, before grinning. "Polyvoulos, Polyvoulos! The one who shows them who's boss! Unmatched, witty, and king of the best strategies we've seen!"
Jon groaned. He'll admit that Odysseus could sing well, but maybe he could tone it down just a bit?
"Hephaestus!"
Jon just sighed as Tim started singing. That guy could sing, but he knew that Tim would be singing it constantly after this loop was done.
"Trust is not given, it's forged!"