Chapter Text
I
“We’re moving back to Seoul” That was not a question, he was not interested in his opinion, Sieun knew. Even so, Seongje waited for him to reply. After a few long beats where the waves crashing on the shore of Busan were the only sound, Sieun finally looked up from his half-eaten meal and met his husbands’ eyes.
“Okay” Seongje huffed slightly at his answer and the corner of his mouth started to form one of his distinctive smiles.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why?” He leaned forward, the smell of wood, musk and tobacco reached Sieun and, as always, it made him feel conflicted. It was the smell of violence and unpredictability. It was the smell of a criminal, an arrogant man that didn’t care about values and morality. Strangely enough, Seongje also meant protection, he was his mate, the person Sieun had willingly married almost four years ago.
“Do you want me to?” He raised an eyebrow but the rest of his face was as impassive as always. The Alpha laughed with his body before extending his arm in order to touch Sieun’s cheek. He remembered, from time to time, how those seemingly small and inoffensive touches had once felt so foreign to him.
“You haven’t changed at all” Seongjae said, getting closer and kissing him “Still my type”.
Things quickly got heated. It was always like that with Seongje, he could go from zero to one hundred in a second. Thankfully, Sieun now knew how to handle it.
“Stop” He demanded, grabbing the Alpha’s hand and pulling it out from under his shirt with force “Your daughter is playing next door.”
“I don’t care” He never did and it still unnerved Sieun. Occasionally he wondered how his younger self would react to his current life. He had bonded, married and bedded the enemy.
He shook his head “Let’s go to the bedroom at least”
For his own good, Sieun had stopped thinking. He simply stopped wondering how he would react if he knew about Sieun’s decisions.
Suho…
“Enough” Seongje said against his skin when he noticed that Sieun was disassociating —again—. They were in their bedroom already. He could feel the Alpha’s hardness against his leg “I want you to look at me when I fuck you”
Sieun obeyed. He stopped thinking.
II
Seoul looked the same and different at the same time. The fact unnerved him; it was like constantly walking through a Deja Vu. He felt cold most of the time, not because of the weather, but because he was starting to resent coming back. He didn't like it in the slightest, but he was making his best effort at ignoring the constant nausea he was feeling, he didn't want to risk making Seongje angry.
Sieun was not afraid of him, he wouldn't have bonded with the Alpha if he was, but Seongje was like a match that could turn into fire at the slightest provocation.
“Papa! Look, a birdie!” Suhee’s sweet voice pulled out Sieun from the void when she called him to show him a little sparrow that flew carefree around them. She made his worries dissipate and his heart soften. Seongje was playing with her while they waited for a taxi that would take them to their new apartment. The Alpha adored their pup and that, at least, took some of the weight from his shoulders.
“I forgot how nasty the air quality is here” He commented and Sieun shrugged as a response.
“It won't make a difference to you at least. You already destroyed your lungs” Seongje looked down at the cigarette in his hand and pretended to be offended for a second before laughing.
“Little shit”
At some point, more than four years ago, the violence between them had dissipated, but not the banter. Sieun often thought that oddly enough, despite being together, the dislike between them would always remain, at least a little bit.
III
Seongje kept himself busy for the next few weeks while Sieun tried to make the new place feel like home again. The Alpha was doing business, though Sieun didn’t know what type specifically and he didn't wish to ask. He was aware of some of the things the Alpha did, he had been since they were students and sooner than later, he had come to accept the fact that the money that fed their daughter was dirty money —Because Sieun’s salary as a part time tutor wasn't enough—. He had made the mistake of thinking about the implications once, a long time ago, and it had made him spiral into a whirlwind of emotions that he hated.
He knew that even if Seongje didn't directly inflict violence on his victims most of the time anymore, he still gave the orders and was a perpetrator in a line of illicit jobs that at some point had to end in the deaths of some innocent people.
Sieun knew, but he managed to block those thoughts most of the time.
Still, Seoul was not helping, the city made him remember.
IV
The machines were an anchor that kept the thread of Suho’s lifeline by his side, but even Sieun had started to admit, if only to himself, that the possibilities of getting his best friend and first love back were getting slimmer as time went by.
And he was tired. He had fought the Union and had helped his friends, but soon he had come to the conclusion that the most important thing for him had remained unchanged.
Suho was still in a coma and Sieun was tired, he was broken. Exhausted, empty.
That's how he ended up with Seongje.
At some point, while studying for a History exam he had come to the conclusion that some things leave people vulnerable and prone to make stupid decisions. And he had made the decision to seek Seongje’s raw and volatile presence. There was no pity in his eyes, not the pity Baku, Gotak and Juntae wore whenever they noticed his low spirit and the growing bags under his eyes.
Seongje, weirdly enough, saw him as an equal whenever they fought and didn't hesitate to hit and snarl, to laugh and joke, always wearing that manic smile that both intrigued him and terrified him.
Suho also had smiled a lot, even while fighting, just like Seongje, but they were so different. Two sides of a spectrum. Seongje sought violence, Suho did not.
But that difference had been comforting for Sieun’s pained heart, it made him forget, at least for a moment.
At some point, though, things had changed.
“Leave me alone” Sieun had whispered on one occasion, feeling the pain and the looming shadows of the future bruises on his body. They had been fighting and, as always, he was fighting to get numb while Seongje did it to have fun.
“Come on” Seongje helped him get to his feet “It's too late to leave an omega wandering around in a dark place like this. Even if that omega is a freak like you” Sieun huffed while trying to get away, but Seongje refused to let him go “I'll take you home”
“I don't want to go home” Sieun had meant for it to sound firm, demanding, but his voice, instead, had come out like a plea.
That’s how he ended up in Seongje's apartment.
“Take a shower, you stink” the Alpha said, handing him some of his own clothes. He had taken a shower himself and had come out looking almost new except for the cuts decorating his knuckles, courtesy of Sieun himself.
Sieun thought to refuse for a moment but the prospect of the warm water helping his sore muscles got him slowly moving towards the bathroom, sensing Seongje’s eyes following him all the time.
V
Seongje’s clothes were too big for him and they made him feel ridiculous. A few droplets of water ran from his still damp hair and ended up on the floor of the small room. He observed them for a moment, distracted, finally feeling that familiar sensation. It was like being sedated, like floating in a comforting void, unlike the usual dark void he constantly experienced since that incident with Suho and Bomseok. For a moment, he finally forgot about the fact he was breaking his promise to Suho by constantly fighting Seongje.
“You're such a weirdo” Those words, those familiar words ripped him off his own mind, but that hadn't been Suho's voice, it was Seongje's “You’ve been looking at the floor for two whole minutes”
Sieun simply sighed as a response while shrugging “Thank you for the shower and the clothes, I'll give them back next time” but he didn't make it towards the entrance of the apartment to leave like he intended because Seongje stopped him.
“Where are you going?” He was frowning, the smile had disappeared.
“Home” He thought the answer was obvious, but Seongje looked at him with discontent.
“I told you, I don't think you should be outside right now” Sieun was the one frowning this time.
“So you're one of those Alphas” His face was impassive, the frown erased from his features, but he hoped Seongje could sense his annoyance “Do you think I can't defend myself?”
Seongje laughed “Of course you can… You can go around stabbing people whenever it's needed” The shadow of his usual smirk disappeared. Sieun wondered if it was because he was remembering the way he had hurt the Alpha’s foot. His next words, however, let him know that was probably not the case “But there are some things out there, things you don't want to deal with, believe me. I've seen the shit your own goes through in this area of the town… Omegas, I mean” Sieun blinked, baffled at the other’s sudden serious demeanor and he felt even more confused when his smile came back just a second later “But I guess I can't make you stay. Suit yourself” His long limbs moved towards a small sofa where he sat to play games on his phone, just like the first time they saw each other.
Sieun was frozen while his brain ran through his options. He didn't trust Seongje. He was dangerous and unpredictable, but, at the same time, it was clear that the Alpha hadn't done anything to seriously harm Sieun since that day when the fight against the Union took place. They only fought each other because Sieun sought that distraction and Seongje, despite his annoying personality, never asked for an explanation. He never questioned him or demanded to know why Sieun kept looking for his company specifically.
He guessed that if someone like Seongje was warning him it meant that something awful was really happening out there. He hadn't paid attention, too exhausted to care when he walked along with Seongje towards his apartment, but they were in a different zone of Seoul, one he didn't know.
Sieun didn't mind being an Omega, but he was aware that his secondary gender would sadly always make him the underdog.
He sat on the sofa as well, keeping as much distance between them as possible and making Seongje snort as a response “I'm not going to bite you… Unless you want me to, of course”
“Why would I want that?” He asked, his voice was flat but the redness of his face was a clear indication that he had perceived the tone behind Seongje's comment. The Alpha shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant and then disappeared while wearing a smirk on his face.
A few minutes later, minutes that Sieun spent anxiously scrolling through his phone, Seongje came back with a bottle of water for him and that simple gesture made the Omega realize that the other boy had been discreetly taking care of him all night. He didn’t know how to react to that fact so he just drank the water and decided to distract himself by quietly wandering around the Alpha’s room. It was a normal space, Sieun thought. Slightly decorated and personal. Seongje had a few consoles wandering around and one of those annoyingly shiny computers people use to play videogames, which made sense.
There were no pictures of his family —similarly to Sieun's own apartment— or a potential girlfriend or boyfriend, but he had some books. The Omega occupied himself by reading the titles, the books were mostly science fiction, horror or comics, nothing too informative or substantial and Sieun thought that fit the other boy perfectly.
“Have you read those?” He jumped slightly, surprised by the closeness of the voice. He turned around to find Seongje just in front of him, almost chest to chest and he wondered how he had let his guard down to the point the other had managed to get that close to him.
“I haven't but I recognize some of the titles” At first, he thought Seongje was trying to intimidate him but he quickly noticed that was not the case. The taller one was looking at him attentively, too attentively. Few people paid attention to him like that and it made him feel anxious.
“You look nice wearing my clothes” He wondered why he didn't push him away, why he, for the first time, noticed Seongje's scent. Why his hands shook nervously and why he didn't run away when the Alpha kissed him. Later on, he understood that it was because for the first time since Suho, he was feeling something.
He stood there, paralyzed while the Alpha kissed him, not daring to answer the gesture back.
“Relax…” Seongje murmured while taking the bottle from his trembling hands to leave it on the desk where the computer rested.
He wondered if Seongje’s heart was also hammering inside of his chest for a moment and the Alpha's dilated pupils told him the answer.
Sieun kissed him as well and it was Seongje's turn to be surprised. The shock, however, only lasted for a few seconds before the Alpha deepened the kiss with a soft groan while placing his hand on Sieun’s hips to push him towards the bed. The Omega's heart skipped a beat. He knew what ending up on the bed meant, he knew what was happening and he thought of making it stop, but he couldn’t, he didn't want to.
He took a sharp gasp when he found himself below Seongje’s bigger body. The Alpha guided his legs and Sieun, getting the gist of what he wanted, surrounded the other’s waist with them. Seongje kissed and licked his neck with hunger, sending shivers down his spine. Something primal awakened in Sieun’s chest, a twinge of desire mixed with raw pain. The alpha was rough and fast, but not hurtful and Sieun noticed how he avoided the Omega's scent gland whenever he kissed him. However, he didn't have time to be surprised by the gesture because everything was too new for him —too new and too much—.
While pressed against each other Sieun could feel the Alpha’s growing erection against his stomach and, embarrassingly, he could feel his own dick wake up with interest and the wetness between his legs starting to show as a reaction.
Seongje smiled against his skin and began to move his body, as if he were fucking Sieun already. The Omega breathed out a moan into the other’s mouth thinking that the clothes between them were starting to make him frustrated.
“Do something” He said after a while of relentless thrusts, hiding his face on the Alpha's shoulder who stopped his movements.
“Fuck” Seongje breathed out but did as he was told, taking his own clothes from Sieun's body “You’re so pretty. I hope you know that I wasn't lying when I said you are my type” Truth was Sieun had thought Seongje was just messing with him back then, but in that moment, he chose to keep the fact to himself, too scared of being betrayed by his own voice. Instead, he tried to calm his erratic breathing down.
“Take yours too” That was the only thing he managed to say, after a few seconds of embarrassment where Seongje stood there, admiring him with unmasked desire.
The Alpha obeyed and got rid of every single piece of fabric hiding his body. Sieun thought it was only fair if he looked as well, if he “admired” Seongje too.
He did and swallowed when he saw Seongje’s cock, completely hard between his legs. He was bigger than him, which was expected, he was an Alpha after all, and a tall one on top of that. The sight made him nervous and aroused simultaneously so he stopped looking and simply waited for Seongje to keep going.
He supposed he had always been different, different from his classmates, Sieun didn't think about sex too often, he didn't watch porn or desired other people except for those occasions when his heat made him lose his mind a few times every year since he was fourteen.
He had no experience or a way to compare what was happening so he inhaled with surprise when instead of just fucking him, Seongje took him in his mouth. He was ruthless, bobbing his head without rest and making Sieun's mind go blank for a few seconds. He was silently moaning and whining, it was embarrassing but he couldn't help it.
Seongje took his own dick in his hand, stroking himself without shame and without stopping his movements and just when Sieun thought he could faint at any moment the Alpha stopped sucking him off. He whined again, this time with irritation and he heard Seongje chuckle.
“Don't be greedy, Sieun. I want to have fun as well” His voice was dark and raspy. His breathing was as uneven as Sieun’s “look at you, so wet for me. I'm gonna fuck you so good”
The first thrust felt intrusive and foreign, but the sentiment only lasted for a few seconds, quickly replaced with a new kind of pleasure Sieun was new to. It took him a few moments to realize that the lewd sounds filling the room were not only Seongje’s but also his. He wasn't too loud, of course, it was him after all, but that was the most sounds his mouth had produced in his entire life, he was sure.
“You feel so good… Fuck, fuck”
After a few minutes of relentless thrusts, Sieun felt the heat building inside of him and he sensed he wouldn't last for too long. Seongje kissed him again. It was wet and messy but not unpleasant, on the contrary, the closeness of their bodies, the extra friction that trapped his cock between his and Seongje’s stomach was the thing that sent him into what he felt like the first real orgasm of his life.
Seongje kept fucking him for a couple of minutes, chasing his own release like an animal, his knot growing inside of Sieun’s body, making him come for a second time.
VI
The sound of his phone woke him up. He was groggy and confused for a second before his naked body and Seongje’s presence beside him made him understand.
“You should answer” The Alpha said, his voice hoarse with sleep “It has been ringing for a while, it's annoying the shit out of me” Sieun took the device, trying to mask his sudden embarrassment and answered. It was his mother, demanding to know where he was. He also had a bunch of messages from his friends. Sieun had missed school again.
Only at that moment he realized he hadn't told anyone about his location and he scolded himself for his idiocy. Seongje could have easily killed him and ditched him in a hole without anyone noticing.
“Sorry, mom…Yes, I'm okay. I'm staying with… a friend” Seongje was observing him with his usual smirk. Sieun wanted to punch him or leave the room at least, but he decided against it given his current nudity.
“A friend, huh? Are we friends now? Do you have sex with all of your friends, Sieun?” The taller boy teased him after he hung up. Sieun decided to ignore him, desperately looking for a way to leave the place in the least awkward manner possible.
He was starting to think about the implications of everything.
He had sex for the first time with Seongje of all people. The same dude that had messed up Hyuntak's leg, the one that beat his friends and Sieun himself without mercy, the one that had threatened Suho’s integrity by appearing in the hospital that time.
“What's going through your pretty little head?” Sieun was frozen, sitting on the bed without moving a single muscle “Ow, I thought I did well last night” He joked after Sieun refused to answer. He laughed and pouted, trying to appear offended, but it was clear that was not the case.
“It's not that… It's just. It was my first time doing that” Seongje’s eyebrows raised with slight surprise. He expected the Alpha to make a joke, to brag of being the first one to take Yeon Sieun to bed or to make fun of him for being an eighteen-year-old virgin —even though Sieun was sure plenty of his classmates were still inexperienced as well, even if they liked to pretend they weren't—, but Seongje didn't.
“Don't tell me you're one of those people who think they should bond or marry before fucking or some old school shit like that” He said instead and Sieun internally rolled his eyes as a response.
“No, of course not”
“Then don't think too much about it. Fucking is normal and fun”
Sieun wanted to tell him the real reason for his sudden behavior but he didn't.
I thought my first time would be with him, not with you.