Chapter Text
Pologue
“What are you doing Joon-ah?”
“I go through all the photos of the past five years, sweetheart.” He shuffles through some of the printed photos that are currently overflowing his kitchen table and floor.
“That are a lot of photos.” Jin picks up one while overlooking the chaos Namjoon has created.
“There are even more.” He taps his laptop absentmindedly, his head slightly swimming.
“I need to submit the best of them until,” his eyes snap to the clock hanging on the wall, “five pm tomorrow, and I can’t decide.”
Jin lets the photo he has held fall onto the table again, shuffling his way onto Namjoons lap.
“Whats the first photo you have taken?”
Namjoon thinks about it for a second, before he pulls it up on his laptop, even though it has nothing to do with the project, at least not directly.
Its a photo of his living room, more precise of his old coffee table that has been clouded by his photography equipment that day. He had worried he had accidentally broken something due to his clumsiness and a glass too many of Soju the night before. The reflection on the glass shows the blurred image of a cloudy day surrounded by buildings in one of the least wealthy parts of Seoul.
Namjoon groans when his phone starts to blare through his small apartment with an incoming call, it doesn’t help his pounding headache at all and lets him contemplate if he should even pick it up.
But then it could be a client and as much as he hates it he really could use work, the bills aren’t going to pay themselves after all.
He doesn’t spare the display a glance before picking up, instead focused on the lens he has found on the floor this morning.
“Hello?”
“Joon-ah! How are you doing?”
“Yoongi Hyung?” He asks, its been a while since he heard from his oldest friend. Life is hectic for the both of them, for the older probably more since he is being found in a different country every couple business days.
“What? Did you forget me now?”
“How could I?” Namjoon says, concealing his sigh with a small laugh. He is happy hearing from his Hyung, but it doesn’t mean work for him after all.
“How are you doing Hyung?”
“Fine fine. Life’s been hectic.” Namjoon is almost able to see Yoongi fall onto the chair that is creaking in the background, probably an arm thrown over his eyes to drown out whatever light he was surrounded by.
“Which country are you in today?”
“I arrived back in Seoul, like,” A small pause, “yesterday.” The chair creaks again when Namjoon hums, putting the lens down on his coffee table, it looks fine but he will have to try it out later to make sure that it really didn’t broke.
“Are you staying or are you flying out again soon?” He leans back into the cushions of his sofa, staring at his ceiling while ignoring the big watery looking patch in one of its corners.
“I have a week in Seoul until I have to be on the road again.”
“Where is it going to this time?”
“Not far, the band I work for has some promotions to do in Busan.”
Namjoon hums again, nodding along even though Yoongi isn’t able to see that. A couple of years back he would have still needed to ask again what the band is called, but since then they have climbed the charts, their songs are running up and down at every radio station, their billboards are everywhere around the city. WINGS, thats what they are called. He shrugs.
“How is your photography going? I heard you quit being a photojournalist to do some more basic things?”
Namjoon didn’t quit being a photojournalist, he just hadn’t have enough commissions to pay his bills that he had to opt for some more basic things, photographing families, on weddings, pets and such, which isn’t paying his bills either.
He shrugs, “I guess its alright.” He wasn’t sounding convincing in his own ears but he wasn’t trying either.
“Is it still fulfilling you?”
“What do you really wanna ask Hyung?” Namjoon sits up again. They both know that photography wasn’t his ultimate dream, even when it came close, not that they are still talking about it.
“I have a job for you. When you want it that is.”
“A job?” Namjoon sits up straighter upon hearing that. “What kind of job?”
“It isn’t going well for you, is it?”
“Hyung.” He doesn’t want to talk about it, way too proud for his own good, in that regard nothing has changed.
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” Yoongi sighs, “but it is kind of important, since it would be a five year thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“The band I work for prepares for a ten year anniversary showcase featuring photos of them throughout their entire career. Like a photo journalist would do it, you know?”
Namjoon hums, thinking about it. His eyes fall onto the wet patch on his ceiling before he stands up to walk in small circles through his living room.
“Isn’t the band around for five years already? Wouldn’t you want to begin at the beginning?”
“Yeah, we had someone, but we ran into issues and everything and the person is gone now, so we need to make do with the next five years.” Yoongi sounds more than annoyed, five years are worth a lot of content.
“So you thought about me?”
“You went into photography after all, your work is good and I thought I could at least ask.”
Namjoon wasn’t so sure, he felt uneasy with it.
“I don’t know Hyung.”
“Think about it Joon-ah. Its five years of steady income, you wouldn’t even have to pay for any accommodations during the bands schedule and you would have the day for yourself whenever the band isn’t doing anything.”
It sounds good, probably too good, he is desperate, he knows he is and Yoongi probably knows that too, even when they never actively talk about his career it has become evident in his silence over the years, especially the last one.
“How long do I have to think about it?”
“I can give you until the end of this week, but I send you a copy of the contract, just go over it and see if it would be something for you, tell me then.”
Somewhere in Yoongis background a door opens, a voice chiming in with words he doesn’t understand.
“I will do Hyung.” His phone pings against his ear, probably the contract Yoongi has just spoken of.
“Alright, I have to go now Joon-ah. I really hope I hear from you.” And just like that the line goes dead again, the silence of his apartment begins to drown him, his eyes land on his kitchen counter where his laptop stands, display showing him a wide range of his desperate job search and he groans, falling back onto his sofa that creaks dangerously not yet fully ready to give in, but he is.
1827 Days
The building he stands in front of is imposing, sure he has seen photos of it, but he himself hasn’t had the opportunity yet to stroll around this part of the city, seeing it with his own eyes live and in colour.
The shutter of his camera clicks, capturing the mirroring facade, the blurring hustle in front of it and the sun breaking through the, these days, consistent blanked of clouds.
Namjoon sighs, the bag he wears is heavy on his shoulders, carrying his equipment and portfolio. He doesn’t know what to expect, since Yoongi has been vague about today while being excited that he doesn’t have the hustle of finding someone suitable for the position he offered.
The call had been short the day before, after Namjoon accepted the offer and send the signed documents back. Making his way over the street and through the security of the place, that had been informed of who he is beforehand, was over quick.
Which leads him to know, being led through long hallways, with wide windows and empty walls in between. Its imposing, but this is about it, no character, no warmth, just sterile coldness that makes him shiver.
He can’t quite say why a small amount of disappointment was surging through him, but after all the talks on the Internet of those who have been in here for whatever reasons before, romanticizing all the money and the design that have been flown into this building ever since it has been build, had pulled his hopes up of some kind to see something more.
“Thank you.” Namjoon says bowing slightly, when they stop and the man, another security guard, motions him to go in.
The room was flooded by natural light, housing a big herd of tables, which offers seat options for at least twenty people at once, a couple of white boards are complimenting the space just right.
It was empty except for one person who was looking up as soon as the door opens, abandoning whatever work they did before to jump up from their seat to great him.
“Joon-ah! You made it!”
“Yoongi Hyung!” Namjoon finds himself smiling, not as brightly as his Hyung does, but smiling nonetheless. He gets pulled into a quick hug, before he is waved over to sit at the table to go over some more formalities.
“Is your passport up to date?”
“Yeah.” His passport is one of the only things he holds up to date like that, prepared for the opportunity whenever she might arises, she hasn’t until now though.
“Good, because we are flying out to Busan in two days and directly after that over to Tokyo. Pack your bags for at least two weeks, I will have someone hand you the schedule for the rest of this month and the next, so that you are up to date. I will put you into a group chat also, since it can always happen that something gets canceled or something and it is easier to inform everyone that way.” Yoongi slumps in his chair, the sun just breaking right on his face to make the dark shadows visible that his Hyung tried to conceal with make-up.
“Is there something I need to have in mind when I do my work? Am I needed at every schedule?”
“The guys are in the middle of promotions for their newest album that will be fully out just next month, means there are many interactions between them and their fans, a lot of reactions that could be captured, many moments to be remembered later. I trust you and your abilities. Your work has always been very good.”
Namjoon hums, silently questioning how good his work really can be when he fails to get commissions for longer than he would like to admit now.
“I would like for you to come along the schedule for now, get to know the guys, get a feeling for them and spark that inspiration, maybe, after some time you can decide on your own which activities you think are major ones that should be included.”
“Have you a concept in mind? The person before me, who captured the first five years, did they follow a line or something?”
Yoongi looks a bit constipated with his questions, given the two sentences he has mentioned during their first talk days ago, Namjoon figures it is still a sore topic, but he would like to know anyway, to be able to alter his work should it be needed.
“Apparently he had one, but we are in no way able to look the footage through, nor get in contact with him, like I said this whole thing has been ugly in the end. And since we have no previous footage, we need to spin a story, maybe you could do that too, at least tell us should you find something you want to focus on more or less. As long as it portraits the bands journey the next five years it will be alright.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” He leaves it at that, it isn’t that important in the end anyway, when they are willing to just let him do his thing, and he will be around for at least five years, a lot of time to get to know the whole story someday eventually.
They sit there for a second or two, drowned in silence, before Yoongi gets up again, closing his laptop and pocketing his phone. “Do you want to get to know the band? They should all be in the building by now.”
Namjoon nods, standing up as well, “sure.”
“I told them that you would work with us from now on. They are a little wary though.” Yoongi tells him when they are going through the hallways again. For some reason they are not coming across anyone, not even when they change levels.
“Whatever happened with the other photographer must have been a nightmare then.” Namjoon shakes his head, looking at his own reflection in the elevator mirrors. He ignores his tired looks, his disheveled hair that looks colourless in its darkness.
He shrugs before Yoongi can say something. “It doesn’t really matter. I don’t plan on interacting with them much anyway. I don’t want the photos to look scripted, my role should be more one of an observer, but they should know I’m around anyway.”
He doesn’t want them to look paranoid, like they are being watched, even when they are. Namjoon wants to capture their raw emotions, the small things that stand out, that is what he is hired for anyway, to tell a story with the photos he takes.
It is important anyway that they know his face, that they get somewhat comfortable around him to let him do just that.
“I’m sure they will warm up to you quickly.” Yoongi nods, something in his eyes remembers Namjoon of their old days, back when they still have been in college. Right now theses days seem to be away a whole life instead of just almost a decade.
He wonders if the older feels the same, or if the years have been kinder on him than they have been on Namjoon. His thoughts get interrupted quickly when they arrive at one of the higher levels of the building, the elevator doors sliding open to yet another empty hallway.
Namjoon is tempted to ask why these hallways seem to always be empty, not even staff walking around, but he decides not to when laughter and chaotically overlapping voices reach his ears, wafting through the air coming from one of the rooms further down.
Yoongi walks in front of him, but Namjoon is able to see him smile slightly anyway.
The voices quiet down when Yoongi knocks lightly against the door to the room where the band sits in. Huddled together on a large sofa, heads hanging above a single phone where they seem to watch something.
“Hyung! You need to see this!” One of them waves Yoongi nearer with a wide, boxy like smile and excited glimmering eyes. When Namjoon isn’t wrong, this must be Kim Taehyung.
“Do you watch cat videos again?” Yoongi becomes softer, looking at Kim Taehyung, his smile wider, his shoulders more relaxed, or it is just a trick of light. Probably a trick of light.
Namjoon ignores it, it isn’t his business anyway, instead he lets his eyes wander over the parts of the room he can see, the sofa, the wide windows that are actually showing the sky, the four people lounging around, some notes (at least he thinks they are) pinned to the walls, next to photos of stages and crowds, of album covers. It has something chaotically that gives the illusion of structure for those who have no clue what they are looking at.
There is a lot of free space around the floor, like it wasn’t finished yet, like the owners couldn’t decide what to do with all that space. When his wikipedia search from last evening is anything to go by, the band has just recently signed with this company, which has given them (allegedly) a whole floor for themselves, to do whatever is needed to reach even higher in ranks, on charts and the crowds hearts.
He lets his gaze swap over Kim Taehyung who looks still as bright and excited like he did seconds ago, maybe even more while looking at Yoongi. Next to Kim Taehyung looking towards them with wide Bambi eyes sits another man, Jeon Jeongguk, arms slung around Park Jimin who was looking at him with skepticism, his bright orange hair like a warning sign.
Kim Seokjin, the oldest member of the band, main vocalist according to wikipedia, was standing up from his place on the sofa, a small polite smile on his lips. When their fans say he is aging like a vampire, with handsomeness that is reachable not by many (maybe Namjoon drifted away from Wikipedia at some point, but you wouldn’t catch him admitting to that) they are not wrong, he thinks.
“Yoongi-ah, is this the friend you talked about, the photojournalist?” He asks, pulling said mans attention away from his band mate.
Yoongi turns slightly, to be able to glance at Namjoon when he nods, “yes thats him. He will work with us from now on.”
“Kim Namjoon.” Namjoon bows, his own name heavy on his tongue. When he looks up again he sees a sparkle in Seokjins eyes that he can’t quite pin point the meaning of, but doesn’t dwell on anyway.
“Its nice to get to know you, Yoongi sometimes, with enough liquor, tells us about his college days, which entails some stories that included a Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin winks at him, laughing a small laugh.
Namjoon smiles slightly embarrassed and at a loss for words hoping that Yoongi wasn’t telling all the tales they lived through together, but his luck was barely existent at this point and he would probably be safer when he just ignores this.
Yoongi turns around looking apologetically at him, which he just shrugs to.
“Namjoon will accompany us frequently from now on.” Yoongi breaks the moment of silence.
“When you need us to pose some way or something, just tell us.” Jeon Jeongguk speaks up now, his brows lightly knitted.
“That won’t be needed. I’m not your photographer for a photo shoot.” Namjoon shakes his head, now he is the one frowning.
“The other one always needed us to pose whenever he was around.” Park Jimin says.
“Emotions are always caught the easiest when nothing of it is staged. I’m not a fan of interrupted moments and feelings when they are happening, so I won’t. You probably won’t even know I’m around.” His words aren’t erasing any of the skepticism, it probably heightens it, when he is lucky it will go by with just enough time.
“Like I said, he knows what he does.” Yoongi chimes in.
“We will see.”
Namjoon can’t pinpoint who was mumbling that, but he brushes it off, pretending he has heard nothing like he assumes it was originally intended to.
1825 Days
Namjoon is early at the airport, he has gotten the time wrong, but better be early than late.
For about an hour after he checks in he finds himself in the lounge, waiting for the band to arrive, reading a book that was almost falling apart in his hands, thats how often he has read it already, but it is one of his favorites and he doesn’t want to part with it at all, or get a new copy to retire this one.
Watching planes land and start, has Namjoon think about if the band is already able to afford a private one or not and just don’t like to, since they aren’t flying with one (which he isn’t as sad about).
He gets himself some food, settling near windows looking down onto the hall where people arrive, wondering over the not so small group of people that has settled there, letting the airport staff looking nervous and annoyed.
He wonders who they are here for, which celebrity was coming home again, he didn’t wrap his head around the fact that they are probably (just like he, even though they have different reasons) are waiting for the same band.
While he fumbles around with his camera the commotion starts, pulling away his attention just to be met by security guards filling in the gaps the roaring fans create in their attempts to crowd the place even further. Namjoon lets the shutter go of, catching all of the commotion, all of the emotions.
Disbelieve, excitement so much that it becomes hysteric at some point, annoyance seasoned with some fear that breaks out when some fans break out of their lines, luckily before the band steps a foot inside, easy to get them back to where they should be.
Hushed voices and screamed words can be heard, even in the pictures he believes, or hopes. Its when the doors open another time, that the atmosphere changes.
He almost is able to hear how the people stop to breathe for a split second, able to see and capture the tightening faces of the security, the slight shake in the airport staffs hands while they are secretly anticipating the arrival as well.
It breaks out when the bands steps in without halting even once, even behind their masks Namjoon thinks they look stressed, huddled slightly together, protective of each other in such a dangerous situation, dressed in black they look good, but also scared even while trying to greet their fans to not look ungrateful maybe? Perhaps they shouldn’t hide it, maybe that would bring these people to stop, but then he guesses there will always be people who are egoistical enough to not care about the bands feelings more than their own desire.
Namjoon stares at his camera for a moment, at the last picture he has taken, contemplating if another person would see the same, probably not, such things are always different just as much as the people that are looking at them. None of the photos he just made probably will make it into the last few that are decided on fairly late into his contract, which he doesn’t think is that much of a good idea given the bad experience they have made before, but he won’t argue about it. But he did decide to let Yoongi see the best pictures he made from time to time, just so he knows what they are getting in the end.
He sighs when he stands up, putting his trash into the bin, his camera ready to be easily accessed into his bag before he makes his way to the lounge again. Easily drowning in the mass of staff flitting around, without the need to engage.
Greeting Yoongi briefly, who looks just as stressed as everybody else, Namjoon comes to a halt near the windows, looking outside, while looking at the reflection of the room, of the band who are occupying a group of seats in one corner, talking with each other in hushed voices.
He pulls out his camera again, clicks a photo or two, likes the perspective of the reflection and the play of light.
“Can I sit beside you for a bit?” Someone asks when the person who normally sat next to him was probably on their way to the toilet or something. They are already high up in the air, the time telling him that they have not much left of it until they should be on their way down again.
Namjoon looks up from his phone, ready to decline who ever stands there the seat, just to be stopped by Kim Seokjin, looking down at him questioningly.
And while Namjoon still wants to decline, he finds himself nodding, followed by a shrug.
“How are you doing Namjoon-ssi?” Seokjin asks after sitting down, looking around for a couple of seconds before his eyes settle on Namjoon, glinting with curiosity.
“I can’t complain. And you Seokjin-ssi?”
“I guess its the same with me.” Seokjin nods, falling silent again, his fingers knocking against the armrest in a rhythm Namjoon can’t recall.
“What can I do for you then?”
“Coming directly to the point I see.” Seokjin chuckles, like he expected something else, maybe an excited Namjoon who would almost not be able to conceal his happiness of talking to his idol.
“Yeah,” he nods, “when you’re still worried, like I said, I will be in the background mostly you won’t even be able to tell I’m around.”
“I thank you for your assurance, but I trust Yoongi and he seems to trust you.” The smile he receives is soft, barely there though, but it lets Namjoon frown even more.
“I didn’t ask what Yoongi told you about the one that had the position you’re in before you, and while I trust him, I would like to see some of the photos from time to time.”
“You see, we ran into some really ugly situations before and this band, these people are my family and I don’t want anything bad happening to them. Also, I simply don’t want to risk wasting five years with work that maybe isn’t in our taste.”
“I don’t have many yet, but you can see them whenever you like.” Namjoon says, not really able to process the change in tone and expression, but his mind surely will do its thing as soon as the situation is over.
“Huh, that was easier than I thought.” Seokjin claps happily into his hands, standing up. “I will see you around then, Namjoon-ssi.”
Just as fast as Seokjin appeared he disappears again, leaving Namjoons mind to spin even when the person slips into their seat again that it originally belonged to. Who knows, maybe Seokjin has more sides of a vampire to himself than just his beauty.
When the plane sinks to the ground again, shaking its passengers thoroughly Namjoon wonders if he should worry about his new found Job, he does, a little bit because he isn’t foolish enough to belief that the band wouldn’t be able to kick him out when they don’t like the photos he takes, but he decides to just do his job for now and worry later, its nothing he holds in his hands anyway, art always lays in the eyes of the one who is looking at it.
There are a few things Namjoon learns at the same day they arrive in Busan. First, the staff never seems to stand still for once, they are like bees, always a task at hand that needs to be taken care of, which leads to structured chaos that has his head slightly dizzy.
The second thing he learns is that it is easy to hide amongst them, no one seems to acknowledge him for more than a glance until he vanishes in the chaos around them just like everybody else, maybe with a bit more skepticism thrown at him, which he ignores easily.
The third thing he learns is how easy the band goes around some of the staff. Greeting them by their name, asking personal questions, laughing genuinely, while others, probably those who are working with them for not as long, they are more reserved around, polite, but reserved.
Namjoon has it easy slipping around the background, clicking some photos he appreciates himself, they don’t have much time in the hotel, he gets dragged along by Yoongi to the first point of their schedule, an interview and a dinner afterwards.
He didn’t want to be impolite by declining the offer Yoongi and some of the staff made which is why he finds himself seated at a table not that far from the band that is laughing and talking excitedly all over each other, entertaining at least half of the restaurant that was housing just them, their staff and the normal restaurant staff.
The camera in his hands is heavy, a weight that lets him feel grounded in his floating thoughts and all the different voices that are holding conversations he wasn’t following at all. He clicks some photos of the band, Jeongguk has his hands animatedly in the air, a big grin on his face, nose scrunched, he reminds Namjoon of a bunny like that. Jimin was laughing, falling halfway out of his own chair, holding himself upright on Jeongguks shoulders only, while Taehyung and Seokjin are exchanging a look, endeared and amused.
“I invited you to get you to eat something, not to continue your work, put the camera aside and eat something.” Yoongis voice but overall his grip on his shoulder brings Namjoon back, focuses his attention on the table in front of him, on the people around him.
He nods, putting the camera down, before he lets it slip into its bag altogether, figuring that Yoongi was right, five years should offer a few more opportunities similar to today. Filling his plate and eating some bites he tries to focus on the conversation playing out in front of him while ignoring Yoongis worried eyes finding him every now and then.
“Can you believe it? Sungwoo from the PR team got fired a couple of days ago!” One woman, Namjoon has forgotten her name when she even introduced herself, says, pointing her chopsticks randomly into the air.
“What why? Didn’t they hire him just a month or two ago?”
“Apparently he tried to leak unauthorized stuff from a group for some cash a random person offered him. It wasn’t even much money!” The woman laughs, shaking her head like it was something that was happening every other day, but then, it probably does.
“Which group?” One asks, but receiving a shrug, “I don’t know.”
“The company pays well, I don’t understand why people think they need to do this?” Another woman, she can’t be older than twenty, says then, looking genuinely confused.
“Money. One can’t have enough of it, life is always easier when you have much of that kind of paper.” The first woman tuts.
Namjoon takes another bite of his food, thinking that it isn’t always money, but fame, its often reached easy with a scandal, but also a sick satisfaction that some people get when they can ruin and play with lives that aren’t their own to do so with. But sure, they can leave the conversation with money.
When they eventually leave the restaurant some time later, Namjoon has learned a lot about people he doesn’t even know.
Now he knows about all the affairs that are dripping through the different departments of the company, even family constellations and how they are or aren’t affected by one of their members working for this company, from parents that hope their kids have it easier getting roped into the industry due to them working in an office associated to it.
The normal office gossip stuff, Namjoon thinks, happy that he, apparently, drowned out all the talk about who has a crush on whom, no matter if idol or not. Namjoon feels ready for the day to end.
When they reach the hotel Namjoon opts for the stairs then the elevator, his ears ringing with the conversations he isn’t interested in at all, that pull energy from him that he hasn’t have in the first place. All he does is saying his goodbyes silently, before heading to the second level, not really thinking Yoongi would stop him, but his old friend does.
“Namjoon, wait a second!”
He stops in his tracks when Yoongis voice echoes around them, looks over his shoulder until he sees him appear, the worry he has sported throughout their dinner now evident on his face.
“What’s up Hyung?”
“I…I just wanted to… You seemed distant at dinner and I just wanted to check if everything is alright.”
“I’m okay, just tired, it has been a long day.” And an even longer year.
“But you would say if something is wrong, wouldn’t you?”
“Sure, but its just my second day, nobody knows me enough to have something against me yet, Hyung.” Not that he thinks he will ever get close enough to either of them to let them have something against him at all.
“People don’t need to be close to you to be against you in some shape or form Joon-ah.”
“I know, but like I said, its just my second day and I’m just tired.” Namjoon shrugs. He can see it in his Hyungs eyes that he doesn’t believe him, Namjoon doesn’t believe himself, he can’t blame Yoongi.
They stand there in silence, the light flickering out before it comes to live again because his hand finds the switch easily.
“Will you tell me about it some day?”
Namjoon takes a deep breath, feels it travel through his body while he doesn’t need to think about what Yoongi means. “I don’t think so.” He shakes his head, sees the sadness wash over his Hyungs face, wondering for a split second if it is his own, a projection, because why should Yoongi be sad about something he has no real picture about.
“Don’t get me wrong Hyung, I’m just not ready and I don’t think I ever will be.”
“Alright, but should you change your mind, I’m here.”
“I know Hyung, thank you.” Namjoon nods, they both know that he probably will never take him up on the offer, but it was nice to hear it anyway.
“We both should go get some sleep then, we need to be awake early tomorrow.”
“What is it again the band is filming?” Namjoon tries to remember the schedule he has received from Yoongi a couple of days ago, but he can’t seem to do so.
They walk the remaining steps side by side, stopping just in the hallway to their respective rooms. “A show of some comedians or something, its nothing they have chosen to do but the company thought it would be a good idea.” Yoongi shrugs, still not looking happy but now for a different reason.
“When I’m not remembering it wrongly it will be in a water park or something.”
“So water proof equipment it is.” Namjoon sighs, happy that he thought about bringing something like that, but with his clumsiness he will most likely stay as far in the background as possible.
“Alright, have a good night then Hyung.”
“Good night Joon-ah.”
1822 Days
Namjoon doesn’t remember the last time he has been in Japan, Tokyo. Its definitely been a while, a few years at least.
It has been a busy day, after a few more busy days. Days and schedules that have been more chaotic than he expected them to be, at this point though he thinks the band lives for this chaos and the staff too, but them not that willingly and enthusiastically.
His days have been a whirlwind, but more than that they have been long. They start early, mostly even before the sun began rising and while Namjoon doesn’t have to be awake then, it has made due for some sleep deprived pictures, which he identifies with more than anything, since sleep isn’t something that comes and stays easily for him.
While he holds himself in the background just like he has said he would, it didn’t save him from at least a bit of interaction, with the staff and with the band, even though it has been mostly Seokjin he has interacted with yet, due to them seemingly always running into each other in the hallways of the hotels they are staying in.
They don’t say much more than polite words of greeting and glances that make Namjoon wonder when the first time will be that Seokjin will come around to see some of the pictures he has taken until now, which are a few, but after going through them as soon as he is home again they will probably just a bit more than a handful anymore.
The first look through he does when he is, at night, back in his hotel room shows him a lot of photos that are just lacking something, while he isn’t able to pin point what exactly this something even is. Its just slightly frustrating.
They just came back from yet another interview and a small celebration over a single the band just released, it has been alright, nothing Namjoon would have liked to do when he would have had a real opportunity to avoid it. He could have dipped at some point, but he has seen the look Yoongi had given him, laced with worry, so he stayed, listening to the staff around him and their overly gossipy conversations which they don’t appear to grow tired of.
“When you said you would keep in the background I didn’t think you meant it to this extend.”
Namjoon whirls around just to come face to face with Seokjin, who was holding himself upright with one hand at the wall. He has seen him drinking his fair share so he isn’t surprised that the older needs the extra support.
He shrugs, “I’m no social butterfly.”
“Ah and here I thought you’re just shy.”
“Not shy, I just like my quiet.”
“You and your quiet should be careful not to get lonely.”
“Your concern is nice, but its not needed.” Namjoon isn’t sure what he should think of this, and when he is honest the warning just came too late, but he wouldn’t say that out loud.
He gets glared at, “I want to see the pictures you have taken so far.” Seokjin sways slightly when he pulls his hand away from the wall to cross his arms in front of his chest.
“Fine, but are you sure your vision isn’t too blurry right now? Don’t get me wrong, you can see them, I just wonder.”
Namjoon is almost able to see Seokjin thinking, his lips pulled into a slight pout, his brows knitted into a frown, his mouth opens, probably to repeat his demand, but the words weren’t able to slip from his tongue.
“Hyung!” The youngest of the band appears behind Seokjin, pulling him into his side protectively.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, everything’s alright Kook.” Seokjin sighs. “I wanted to see the pictures he has already taken.”
“But?” Namjoon receives a glare, Jeongguk probably thinks he has denied the request.
“But I’m way too drunk and wouldn’t see much anyway.” Seokjin turns around, tapping the younger’s chest, “come on kook, I’m tired.” A yawn follows the words and with another glare at Namjoon they are on their way to the elevators again, leaving him alone again.
He watches them until they are gone, until he stands alone in the hallway, surrounded by closed doors and unsettling silence. He sighs, the tone deep and sad before he spins around on his heels to finally fall into his bed a few minutes later, letting sleep wash over him.
Namjoon isn’t the biggest fan of crowds and loud noises, his college self would have had a blast though, at one point he dreamed of crowds like this one and a stage he could call his home, but it went differently and now he feels foreign around a venue like this one, trying to navigate the best point of where he can do his job from and count the minutes until he is able to leave again.
“Joon-ah!” Yoongi appears next to him, in all the chaos he hasn’t even seen him approach him.
“Hyung!” He says, his voice a bit louder than it would normally be, but with how loud the crowd already is, even though it takes a few more minutes until the band would appear on the stage, he has no other choice than put more volume into his voice.
“You alright? You look a bit lost.”
“Just trying to find a suitable place.” He lets his eyes demonstrative wander above the crowd and the few free places he can spot from where he is behind the stage right now.
“Come, I think I have a good one for you.” Yoongi waves him to follow and Namjoon does, breathing a little bit easier when they take some steps until they reach a small balcony no one else is on, but offers a perfect view onto the stage and the first few rows of fans.
“Thats a good one.” Namjoon pulls his camera out, concentrating to setting it up like he wants and needs.
“Thought so.” Yoongi is halfway down the stairs again, when he pokes his head up again, “It evokes memories, doesn’t it?”
“Is that the reason you chose to become their manager? To be near the memories?” Yoongi, out of the three of their college group, would have been the only one who would have had a real chance in this industry, not just as a manager, but as a rapper, like the three of them had dreamed about. Until this day Namjoon doesn’t understand why he had declined the offer that that small label back in the days approached him with.
“Maybe.” Yoongi shrugs. “Do you still think about it?”
“Sometimes.” Namjoon sighs, “its been a while though.” Its been a lot of what ifs and the realization that the past isn’t something he can change with decisions he makes in the present, since. Not that it would have laid in his hands back in the days anyway.
Yoongi looks like he wants to say something more, but the crowd beneath them and the overall situation wasn’t the best to do so, not that Namjoon was keen on talking about it at all. Maybe some day he will ask Yoongi again why he has declined that offer and really receive an answer, probably not though.
“Until later.” And just like that Namjoon is alone (as alone one can be in a room full of people) setting up the last things he needs, before the band comes onto the stage.
Namjoon has to say they are good, really good, he can see why they are loved by so many already, and that they probably will reach even higher and farther when they are able to hold onto their dreams and ambitions. He even catches himself humming along to one of the songs they are performing, the tune more rock than pop, the edges rough and the lyrics a tad bit deeper than their normal happy tunes.
1792 Days
Namjoon tries to navigate his way through the many hallways of the company building, due to all the schedules abroad he hadn’t had the time to familiarize himself with it. All he can tell is that since he first stepped into this building around a month ago they haven’t gotten richer on art on their walls, but at least there are more people around this time. Staff he has seen already, some of them he has talked with and probably heard gossip about most of the ones that are still nameless in his mind.
Yoongi has wanted him to come over today, to take some pictures of the band while they practice, saying that it would be nice for the fans when they can see some of the behind process that gets revealed in just five years, next to the things around the single and the album that are getting revealed these days.
He wasn’t complaining, it made him go outside when he wouldn’t have probably done so on his own. It was pouring outside, the sky so gray that one could think the night came early or the world was about to go down, depends on the level of drama one wants to go with.
The song that he has heard about a dozen of times at this point alone reaches his ears after he takes yet another turn, the notes fizzle out to be replaced by another song, one that was new for Namjoon, and stopped before it has really begun, to be replaced by a cheery voice that has Namjoon halt in his tracks in the middle of the doorway.
“You did good, but you performed the song so often now it would have been unpleasant wouldn’t every step be in place.”
“Does this mean you’re going easy on us today?” Taehyung groans, laying in the middle of the big practice room floor, all limbs stretched out. Jeongguk and Jimin aren’t sitting far away from him, just Seokjin was sitting hunched over on a chair standing at the wall across from him, sipping on a water bottle while chatting with Yoongi who was standing next to him.
Namjoon wonders if it would be alright if he would just turn around and go home again, but then he had promised Yoongi that he would do that today, he would have just liked a heads up. A warning of some sorts maybe.
So, instead of running away he slips into the room, greeting the handful of staff silently, that is bundled around an audio system. He concentrates more than he would need to on pulling his camera out, following the banter that washes over his head.
“Come on now, Taehyung-ah.” Through his lens Namjoon sees Hoseok stand above the younger, a hand stretched out, a heart shaped smile bright on his face, while his eyes convey more how serious he is about wanting Taehyung to get up.
“Just when you promise that we will take it slow today Hyung.” Namjoon clicks a picture of Taehyungs puppy eyes, that did seem to be able to soften Hoseoks stance at least a little bit.
“I don’t think I can do that, your album will be released soon. You can’t practice to such lengths when you’re already on tour.” Hoseok tuts, his hands find their way into his hips, but there is still softness woven into his features.
Namjoon takes a photo, catching the bands reflection in the mirror wall, just like they have been when Namjoon made his way over, with Taehyung pleading Hoseok, Jeongguk and Jimin sitting close, just Seokjin wasn’t sitting down anymore, instead he made his way over to where Taehyung lies on the floor.
“Come on Tae, the sooner we are over with practice the sooner we can do something else.”
“But Hyung!” Taehyung tries his puppy eyes at him as well, but to no avail, all he receives is a smile.
“No buts. Just because you’re going to lazily lie around later doesn’t mean we all are able to do so.”
“Another date I see!” Taehyung seems to have forgotten about his bargaining when he jumps to his feet the next second, bouncing with excitement. Namjoon wonders what the fans would assume they talked about for the changes of emotions, maybe he will get to know it someday.
“Aw!” Jimin now jumps up as well, dragging Jeongguk along, “I hope you will tell us who you’re seeing soon.”
“You all are way too nosy.” Seokjin shakes his head.
“We are just worried and protective of you Hyung!” Jeongguk says, looping an arm around Seokjins shoulders.
“But, we are also nosy!”
After that they resume to their practice, which Namjoon enjoys behind the lens of his camera, the shutter wasn’t hear-able over the loud music, but he was feeling it anyway, it gave him enough security, even when Yoongi spots him, just slightly somewhat of guilt in his eyes, next to the shock. Drowning in his work even has him drown out Hoseoks small shocked expression when he spots him as well, when he, at some point, comes over to change the song.
When the practice is officially over for the day, Namjoon tries to be out with the other staff that was trying to get out of the door as fast as they can, either to get to another thing they have to do, or to go home after a long day of work. Namjoon wonders if it happened to stop pouring or if he will be soaked to the bones as soon as he steps outside.
“Namjoon!” He was almost out the door when Yoongi calls out his name, he doesn’t want to stop, knowing that Hoseok was still behind him and given that it will provoke a confrontation of some sort that he doesn’t feel ready for, but he stops anyway.
“Hyung?” He spins around, his eyes traveling over the band that is packing their things together, over Hoseok who was slowly, almost unsure, coming up behind their Hyung, before they focus on Yoongi who wasn’t looking like he still knows what he wanted to say when he had called out to him.
“What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean? You asked me to make photos of todays practice?” Hoseok comes to a halt next to Yoongi right then.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Then who wrote a message from your phone to me, asking me to be here?” Yoongi shrugs looking a bit lost when he looks around frowning, thats when his eyes catch Hoseoks.
“I didn’t know you’re back in Seoul.” Hoseok says then, changing the topic.
“We aren’t really on speaking terms.” Namjoon knows he sounds harsh while he is slightly surprised that Yoongi hasn’t told him about it yet. The two have always been closer, have always been close enough to speak about secrets and stuff that aren’t told to everybody.
Hoseok sighs, his arms crossing in front of his chest, “I guess we aren’t.”
It has been way over a year since their fight, their fall out, Namjoon now knows that he should have listened to Hoseok, at least in some regards, but back then he has been way too light hearted, too trusting in his own abilities and in humanity, today he is too broken and stupid to make the first step towards the older. They have both been wrong, Namjoon probably more than Hoseok, it has been nasty, not even Yoongi could make them work it out before Namjoon left Seoul shortly after.
“This is messy.” He hears Yoongi mumble. Namjoon isn’t stupid, Yoongi hasn’t told him about Hoseok working here as well, because he knows Namjoon wouldn’t have said yes at all. He can see that he tries to find a solution that isn’t just for Namjoon, but for Hoseok as well, who is turning around to face Yoongi now, visibly irritated.
“Why didn’t you tell me you hired Namjoon as the new photographer?” There is anger thick in Hoseok voice, if it is because he didn’t know or because of Namjoon being here altogether he can’t say.
“For you to try to talk me out of it?” Yoongi pushes his arms into the air, frustrated.
“Oh look at that, I didn’t know you two know each other!” Somehow Seokjin appears next to him, the rest of the band already gone to wherever they need to be, Seokjin should be gone as well, doesn’t he have a date?
“We do.”
“We did.”
Even when Namjoon wouldn’t be too stupid to make the first step, it perhaps is already way too late to do that anyway.
“Yeah, the icy atmosphere around here isn’t to be mistaken.” Seokjin shudders like the temperature around them really did drop, which it didn’t.
“But I need to kidnap Namjoon quickly, I have something to talk with him before I’m off to my date.” The older grips his arm, already pulling him away, “see you!”
And just like that Namjoon finds himself back in the hallways, walking slightly behind Seokjin.
“Thank you, I guess.”
“Don’t thank me too much Namjoon-ssi. I pulled you away from that just because I really have no time, but I wanted to see if you’re still willing to let me see what you did until now. Not tonight, obviously, but maybe next Monday, I have a free afternoon then.”
They stop just briefly at the front door, behind it, it was still pouring, luckily his camera was sealed in a waterproof bag.
“Sure.” He shrugs.
“Alright, I will tell you where you can find me then!” And just like that Seokjin was out of the building, into the rain and then inside a car that obviously was waiting for him.
1787 Days
The café Seokjin wants to meet him at, was slightly buzzing with people around, getting a coffee and chatting with friends, some staring into their phones or laptops concentrated on whatever work they have to do.
Namjoon was early, more than half an hour early to the time they have agreed on, but he uses it to answer some emails he has mostly ignored while drinking the coffee he has ordered. When there aren’t any more emails he could have answered, Namjoon opens the album of photos that will be relevant for today.
Normally, with all the work he does, he sorts them into different folders, never deleting something but pulling them away from each other to disclose which are most likely to get chosen in the end. But with this one Namjoon can already see that it will most likely become chaotic, even when he sorts through them regularly.
It already has his head pounding slightly, it could be the weather as well that was changing up what feels like every hour these days.
“I see you’re early.” His head snaps up when he hears Seokjin, a chair scraps over the floor before the other lets himself fall onto it.
“You’re early as well.” Namjoon says with a quick look onto the clock on his display. Ten minutes early to be exact.
“Being late to something when I have control over it makes me nervous.” A coffee gets placed in front of Seokjin, who puts his hands around the mug, light pink sweater paws.
Namjoon nods in understanding, feeling just slightly awkward.
“Has Yoongi already seen those photos?”
“No, we agreed on a three month rhythm.”
“Thats logical.” Seokjin nods, his eyes wandering around the café, before they settle on Namjoon again.
Without another word Namjoon turns his laptop around, figuring that it wouldn’t be bad to save them both some time and some of the awkwardness, Seokjin probably has a lot of better things to do.
The older seems surprised, but also slightly pleased when he glances up before diving into the photos Namjoon has taken these past five weeks. He expects questions whenever there is just a slight change in Seokjins posture, when he feels eyes on him while he sips on his coffee and scrolls through his phone just to seem busy enough.
But Seokjin wasn’t asking any, he was just sitting there for a good fifteen minutes, looking through the photos, before he looks up again. “These are good!”
The surprise makes Namjoon smile just slightly, “thank you.”
“I guess I overreacted.” Seokjin sighs. “After what happened…” He shakes his head. “Its not like I don’t trust Yoongi, when he told us he hired a friend of his I was relieved.”
“You don’t have to justify your intentions. I work for you, you, more or less, pay for my work, when you want to see what you’re getting for your money, you want to see it.” He shrugs.
“Ah, that sounds plausible, but I want to say sorry and thank you nonetheless.”
“Thats nice of you, but really not needed.” Namjoon smiles.
“I hope we will be able to work well together for the remaining time,” Seokjin smiles back at him.
“I hope so too Seokjin-ssi. But like I said I work in the background.”
“But that doesn’t mean that it needs to stop you from interacting with us.”
“I will try.” Namjoon huffs out a laugh at Seokjins persistence, he doesn’t quite understand why he wants Namjoon to interact more, but he is thankful anyway.
“But maybe you shouldn’t come over for the dance practices anymore, at least until you and Hoseok have talked about whatever happened between you two.” Seokjin says, sipping on his coffee, the laptop closed in front of him.
“I have never seen Hoseok like that, he is a fun and bright spirit, but that last week, whatever happened between you…” He shakes his head and Namjoon sighs, he wouldn’t be disclosing that to a stranger.
“You’re right, it wasn’t pleasant, and I don’t think it will get better soon.” He shrugs again, trying to not be impolite. He is met by a curious glance, but he was just offering silence, saved by a chiming phone that turns out to be Seokjins.
“It seems like I need to go again. I guess I will see you later this week?”
“Yeah.” Namjoon nods, watching when Seokjin escapes through the door of the café shortly after. They will hold a release party at the end of the week, before next week the new album comes out for everybody else and after that they are on tour pretty quickly which has Namjoons time booked out pretty well, not that he would have anything else to do anyway.
He sighs, his coffee has gone cold by now, but he opens his laptop again anyway, just to close the tabs, just to find them already closed, the background he hasn’t changed yet staring at him instead. His heart aches painfully upon seeing it, he really should finally change it.
He closes his laptop again without doing so.
1647 Days
Namjoon never thought about how it would be to go on tour, not like that at least. When he was in college, dreaming to be standing on a stage, he has always thought local, always thought small instead of big.
And when he thought about it, with the idols in mind that he found good, he has never thought it would be this stressful, never even considered it anywhere near it, because they have always seemed to be alright, their best versions of themselves while on the road.
Now he knows that they are most likely just good to hide their exhaustion as well as (hopefully) being genuinely happy about standing on stage at the end of the day, entertaining their fans and doing what they love.
In the past few months there has build up some sort of routine. While after the bands new album released they have been on a promotional tour between of concerts through south Korea, before they went further through Asia and over to America where they are right now.
There are free days between the concerts, but they are always packed with travel, radio shows, TV shows, the beginning of a new season they are shooting for a show they have invented at the beginning of their career. These supposedly free days are everything but free, because, even when they seem on lower rates, they are practicing their dancing and singing all the time.
While Namjoon isn’t around for every one of these activities, he is around for most of them, and while he just is the photographer and not the one who actually has to perform all of these things, he is exhausted, tired, with just looking at them and with how low the rate of hours of sleep is that he is getting overall.
Their days begin early and end late, he really wonders how the band is doing it, how they can still be this energetic jumping around the small room they have rented for the night, for the staff and them, to celebrate their last concerts in America for a while.
When everything goes like it is supposed to, they will be on their way to Europe by next evening, which has Namjoon slightly excited, he has never been to Europe until now, and there, at the horizon, are waving two full free days at him, which he plans to use to tour the museums of the next city they are in to his hearts content.
He yawns, putting his camera down to lean back in his chair instead, its late and he contemplates to already go up to his room early, to sleep out the pleasant buzz the glass of whiskey he has drunken earlier has created in his body.
His gaze swaps through the room, everywhere was staff scattered, standing or sitting together in small groups, chatting with each other about who knows what, in some corner, at a table where Yoongi and Hoseok are sitting next to each other, their hands brushing between them, beneath the table visible for just those that are looking as intently as Namjoon does.
And he wonders if they have, over these last two years, talked about these lingering feelings that have already been there when they all have still been in college, probably not, he thinks when he sees them jumping out of their skins when Taehyung joins them at their table.
He refocuses his attention to where the musician has sat before, now there were just Jimin and Jeongguk, talking about something Namjoon has no clue about but looking like they, like always, are in their own world.
He wonders where Jin has escaped to, when he packs his things and exits the room quietly. After they have met in that café back then, they do talk, interact with each other more. Mostly between schedules Seokjin would come to him, telling him a new dad joke he has found somewhere, Namjoon has come to know that Seokjin has a liking for those and is actually able to laugh about them.
Sometimes Seokjin would just sit next to him though, looking over his shoulder or stare at the wall opposite from them, with no words spilled at all. When Namjoon is honest he likes both things, sometimes he even looks forward to these slivers of minutes, they really have the ability to brighten his often just grayish dark days.
“No!” Namjoon startles when he is walking around a corner to where the elevators are looking around until he finds Seokjin standing not far away from him, on the phone with someone, while looking like his world is crashing down in front of his eyes.
“What do you mean? You said you’re fine with all this just the last time we called, which was yesterday!”
Namjoon was feeling uncomfortable in his own skin, he shouldn’t be hearing this, but when he is walking further to slip into one of the elevators Seokjin will definitely see him since he is pacing around just a couple of meters away from them. And when he keeps standing here, he will also be seen, it would probably be better to just go back to where he is coming from and wait there for another couple of minutes or so.
“I can’t and I won’t change my life so drastically, just because you’re keep changing your mind. We both knew where we were at when we agreed on trying this relationship thing.” He hears Seokjin say, just when he spins back around to go back.
“Oh no, please stop this fake crying, you called me to break up in the first place, don’t turn this around now.” Seokjin sighs shortly after, and when Namjoon peeks around the corner, because for some stupid reason he can’t help himself, he could see the older leaning against the wall, eyes closed, shoulders slumped, phone dangling in one of his hands, and when the light wasn’t playing any tricks there were tears running down his cheeks.
Namjoons stomach twists, and while he knows it would probably be better to be gone before Seokjin really spots him, his legs weren’t in the mood to listen when they begin walking, but instead of away from Seokjin, he was walking into his direction, stopping not far from him with no words to say when Seokjin opens his glassy eyes.
“I’m sorry… I… Uhm…” Namjoons hand finds its way into his neck, and he really hopes the heat climbing into his cheeks isn’t showing too much.
“Its alright Namjoon-ssi.” Seokjin mumbles, trying himself at a smile, while he erases the tears from his cheeks. “Relationships never hold on for long in this industry. I don’t know why I even still try.”
“I guess its human. In some way we are all longing for a connection with someone else, no matter if romantic or friendship wise.” He shrugs, pulling a tissue from his bag when he luckily finds one, giving it to the older.
“Thank you.”
Namjoon nods awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
“Should I go back and get someone for you?”
“No,” Seokjin shakes his head, moving to stand upright again. “I think I will just go to my room and sleep it off or something.” He begins walking towards the elevators, looking over his shoulder when Namjoon wasn’t following, still not sure about the whole situation.
“Come on. You wanted to leave the party early didn’t you?” And just like that, slightly nodding, he follows him with large steps, sighing silently as soon as he is in the elevator, leaning against one of the walls.
“How are you and your partner managing the physical distance between you two, since you’re away on tour with us?” Seokjin stares ahead of them, captured in his own thoughts.
“My partner?” Namjoon blinks at Seokjin just a little bit irritated.
“Oh, uhm, I thought… I just have seen that photo that one time and assumed… I’m sorry.” Seokjin stutters when the elevator opens its doors with a soft ping, announcing that they have reached their floor, looking irritated and embarrassed when he spares Namjoon a quick glance over his shoulder.
Namjoon feels slightly guilty seeing the older like this. “Don’t be, I should have changed it a long time ago I guess.” He shrugs.
“He must have been someone special then, when you’re broken up but still not over it.” Its mumbled, quiet, it wasn’t said to be captured by his ears, he finds himself answering it anyway, which he is surprised about himself.
“He was.” He hears how broken he still sounds, talking about him, how much pain there still was, but then he was never talking about it in the first place, there usually is no way for the pain to escape, “sadly he got taken from this world way too early.”
“I’m so sorry.” Seokjin looks at him in shock, stopping in his tracks halfway down the hallway.
“Its alright I guess.” Namjoon shrugs, trying himself at a smile, knowing that it must look more like a grimace. “Its been almost a year since.”
“Time doesn’t matter while grieving.” Seokjin shakes his head.
“I think I have some Soju in my room, I could use a drink and you look like you could too.” Its an offer Namjoon isn’t sure he should take, but he does need another drink and not being alone right now, sounds better than anything with the turn their conversation just took, so he nods, following Seokjin to his room.
When he sips on his drink a few minutes later, listening to Seokjin alternating talk about Europe and what he wants to do while there for the next month and a half and ranting about his now ex boyfriend, Namjoon feels the pain that was clinging onto him, grip a little less hard, who knows, maybe he is healing somehow after all.
1602 Days
“I noticed you and Seokjin spending a lot of time together in Europe.” Yoongi was sitting opposite from him, looking busy behind his laptop, just barely glancing up when Namjoon closes the door behind him.
“And?” Namjoon, who has contemplated sitting down, leans against the wall next to the desk instead. They have arrived back home in Seoul just this morning, to say he is tired and jet-lagged would be an understatement. All he wants to do is go home and take the days off everyone in the team and the band has gotten granted.
But instead of going from the airport directly home, Yoongi had asked him to stop by and meet him at the company, so here he is wondering what all this will be about, that couldn’t have waited some more days.
“You’re not screwing around with him, are you?”
That has Namjoon barking out a laugh.
“You think we are screwing around because we have visited a couple of museums together? Hyung please, Seokjin and I just get along well, but that doesn’t mean we are sleeping with each other, you should know me at least a little bit better.”
“I don’t know anymore Joon-ah, you have become so distant.” Yoongi shakes his head, leaning back in his chair, hands finally slipping away from his keyboard.
“Its not like either of us has done anything to prevent that.” Namjoon sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, the accusation hurts just a little bit, he understands somehow where this is coming from, a place of worry, but it hurts anyway.
The two of them did talk more these past few months than they did in the whole year before Yoongi has gotten him this job, but it is mostly work related, and when it is not Hoseok was sometimes coming along which makes Namjoon withdraw from the icy situation rather sooner than later. He knows that Yoongi, in those situations was lying to them both to make them come along in the first place, which puts a strain on their friendship additionally.
Yoongi sighs, probably thinking about the same thing, “when you two just…”
“It won’t happen like that Hyung.” Namjoon stands up, shaking his head, “when there is nothing else, I’d like to go home now, I’m really tired.” He sighs. Patting his pockets to produce a USB stick that he puts down on the desk.
“The photos of these past months.” When Yoongi doesn’t say anything afterwards, just looking defeated, Namjoon turns around to be on his way. When he stands in the doorway though, he turns around one last time, “maybe we can catch up over a coffee or something soon.”
1497 Days
It has gotten cold outside, the first snow has already fallen and everyone around Namjoon seems to be in holiday mood, Christmas isn’t far anymore and Namjoon himself looks forward to spend a couple of days with his family, before he goes back home to do nothing more than sleep the stress out and read a book or two.
The band will be on holidays as well as everyone else this year, at least from their department. Which makes everyone excited for this last schedule of the year, which is a photo shoot and a dinner with everyone afterwards.
Namjoon has come in early, because he and Yoongi try to be more present in their friendship these days, catching up regularly, even when they hold their conversations always as light as possible, never dipping into something too deep. Namjoon also is relieved that Yoongi seemed to have stopped trying to get Hoseok to come along to forcefully make them make up with each other.
He can see that Yoongi still doesn’t like it, but at least he tries and tolerates the cold silence between the former friends.
“Namjoon-ah! You’re early today.” Jin says when he spots him as soon as Namjoon enters the hall the photoshoot will be held at. Already dressed in his first outfit of the day. He guesses he isn’t that early at all, given how his surroundings are buzzing with people and their holiday anticipating energy.
The youngest members of the band are joking around, running and jumping like they are hyperactive kids, in the almost year Namjoon now works with the band he has learned that they are seemingly always buzzing with energy, ready and willing to keep their spirits up all day and night. Its refreshing and tiring to watch them at the same time.
“Not as early as it seems Hyung.” He smiles lazily at the older.
“Still early enough to see Yoongi and the director-nim pull their hair, seems like something went wrong before the day even fully begun.” Seokjin chuckles slightly nodding into their direction. Yoongi indeed looks a lot more stressed than he did a couple of hours ago when he has last seen him.
“Did you do something?” Namjoon asks in a whisper, knowing that Seokjin sometimes likes to cause mischief especially when he thinks they all deserve a free time slot that isn’t originally planned.
“No!” The older shakes his head. “At least not this time.”
“Joon-ah! You’re here!” Yoongi sounds relieved when he spots him.
“The photographer just called in ill, could you perhaps jump in?” His Hyung looks pleading, like this is his only available option.
“I don’t know Hyung, its not really my domain.”
“But you have experience, please! Its almost Christmas, we won’t be able to get someone else on such short notice and we aren’t able to reschedule either.” The director in the background grumbles, he has never seemed to be communicative much.
“Please Joon-ah, the photos you usually take are so good, how much of a difference could this be?” Seokjin chimes in, looking at him pleadingly, his eyes big, lips slightly pouty and Namjoon feels himself melt a little, nodding before he can think about it some more.