Chapter Text
If he counted it all up, hardly any bad things had occurred in Happen’s life.
Granted, there had been a great deal of unlucky moments, but that was Cadences will, of course. Bad luck was not truly bad, simply… well, he was sure the others in his order could word it better than he.
It was for this reason that, come time for his wedding, Happen was not scared. Bea’s hand was warm against his, and when she anxiously ran her thumb over the tattoo on the back of his palm, he was soothed.
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“What if it doesn’t go well?” Bea had asked, the night before the ceremony.
“How could it not?” Happen had replied.
“What if… what if Cadence doesn’t let us be wed?” Bea clarified.
Happen remembered the rustle of bedclothes as he had propped himself up on an elbow, the sight of Bea’s downcast eyes.
“Then it would have gone well. Cadence would be pleased.” He had said, and Bea had gone silent.
“Cadence.” Bea had sighed eventually, rolling onto her back.
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Happen could see some of that same anxiety in Bea’s face as he glanced at her.
He didn’t understand how she could think in such a way. Bad luck was not a bad outcome, if it pleased Cadence. He’d tried to explain this to Bea as they readied for the day, but he had never been able to find the right words, so nothing was said.
“And now.” The order leader said, taking a coin from his pocket. “We will listen to Cadence, and see her will.”
Bea’s grip on Happen’s hand tightened until he winced.
The coin was flicked to the air, and it spun once, twice, thrice. Happen imagined invisible pixies twisting it in the air, laughing as they did.
The coin fell.
“Praise Cadence.” The leader said breathlessly. “Your marriage has been denied.”
Happen turned reflexively to Bea, whose eyes were already brimming with tears.
His lips opened to speak, and she shook her head, running off before he could say a word.
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Happen found Bea in their room, bent over a washbasin as she scrubbed at the tattoo on her forearm, as if she could dig the ink from her flesh if she tried hard enough.
“Love-” Happen began, and she turned away from him, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand.
“You can’t call me that.” She said, sharper than she often spoke. “Cadence has decided as much.”
Happen closed the door behind him, and walked the few steps to the washbasin. “What are you doing?” He asked, his often quiet voice even softer.
“I… don’t know.” Bea admitted, looking to Happen with desperately sad eyes. “I- I’m tired, Happen. I don’t want to keep pretending I’m happy with this.” She gestured to her tattoo. “All of this.” Her hand flung wide. “It is stupid, all of it. We’re told we will be happier for celebrating both bad and good luck, more fulfilled, but… I’m not. I’m not!”
“It is not about happiness.” Happen said, staring at the wall.
“Then why do we do this, Happen?” Bea demanded.
“It is for… well, it is because…” Happen shook his head. “I can’t explain it. You have heard what the leaders say. If we celebrate all of life, we will… we will understand…”
“Do you not see? It’s pointless! It means nothing, all of it!” Bea yelled.
Happen shook his head desperately, and Bea whirled around to face him, taking his head in her hands.
“I am leaving the order. Tell me that you will come.” She begged. “We’ll stay together, and I will never let bad luck be praised again.”
Happen froze. “Leave. Leave the order?”
“Yes. Please, Happen.”
For a moment, he himself felt like that spinning coin, knowing it had two options, and not knowing which to choose.
“Praise Cadence.” He said, softly. “I will not come with you.“
Beatrice’s hands fell, her expression defeated.
“Praise Cadence.” She said bitterly, and turned from him once more.
“Leave my room, please.”