Chapter Text
Jack studied the tableaux laid out before him thoughtfully as he came down the stairs. "The little crown's a nice touch."
Mother Nature actually looked worried for a moment as she rose from her makeshift throne, reaching up to touch the tinsel crown, the kind that came with Christmas poppers, perched at a jaunty angle on her head. "I think they made me their queen... which is rather worrying, given what I recall of elvish cultures regarding their royalty. I'd hate to have them try and toss me in a volcano." Still, the crown remained in place. "Also, we've opened up negotiations, and I hope to have cookie access restored by the end of the month."
"I thought you didn't like it when Phil tried to bribe you?" He tried to snag the tinsel crown with his staff, but she stepped away.
"The important thing is that peace will be restored, and I will maintain a steady supply of cinnamon raisin cookies." Mother Nature took off the crown, looking at her reflection in the gold foil. "A productive use of my time while you plot, I think."
Jack pretended he didn't hear the last part, failing to school his expression into one of complete innocence. "But didn't you start the fight in the first place?"
"They were plotting anyway. I just gave them a little help. All for the greater good, you understand. This way the darlings actually have a fighting chance." Two of the elves rushed them, chattering too fast for Jack to understand as Mother Nature scooped them up with a doting smile. Jack glanced at the other Guardians; he'd been 'nominated' to tell her about the plan ("Because it's your stupid plan in the first place," Bunnymund had explained), and something about their very obvious caution worried him.
It just didn't make sense. It was a good plan, it would make her happy, why shouldn't she know? Okay, he'd entertained the idea of surprising Mother Nature with a Pitch Black who had his memories, but that seemed kinda dangerous in light of some of the rapid mood swings Jack had witnessed.
Sandy made a little "go ahead" motion with his hands as Mother Nature advised the elves on how best to deal with the 'Yeti Aggressors', then sent them on their way. "Aren't they just perfect?"
Jack scratched the back of his head, listening to the distant sounds of elven chaos. Not all that unusual in North's workshop, but there was something vaguely terrifying about the idea of them getting organized. It was almost like watching a swarm of army ants. "I thought you said were having peace talks with the yetis."
"Gregor wants to bargain from a position of strength. It really is better if I let them do most of their thinking for themselves." Mother Nature returned to her throne (obviously cobbled together in great haste by the elves) and looked past Jack to where the others were watching. "Is anyone going to tell me what's going on? This grows less amusing by the moment, and I do have a duty to return to."
"Right." Jack perched himself lightly on top of the throne, making Mother Nature look up at him, her eyes narrowing. "So, I had this idea -- and it's a great idea, you're gonna love it. Y'see, I didn't remember my past, back when I was still human? Not until I got my teeth." He paused, waiting to see if she understood the significance of that statement. All he got was a blank stare and a distant rumble; on a nearby mountain peak, the snow had come loose and was rolling down like a cold tsunami. "We've got one of Pitch's teeth!" he added.
"That must have taken some doing," Mother Nature noted flatly.
"Not really," Toothiana told her. There was a tense moment when Mother Nature took her eyes off Jack to turn her blank stare on the Tooth Fairy. Then she let her head drop into her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers.
"I'm not going to quarrel. Just tell me what in all the hells you're going on about."
"We can restore you dad's memories!" Jack explained excitedly. "Then he'll be --"
Mother Nature raised her head, staring unseeingly into the distance for a long moment.
"Have you lost your mind?"