Chapter Text
He wasn't sure which was more embarrassing: The fact that he was standing outside his former enemies’ hideout, soaked in blood and sweat, or the set of pajamas that Kong Qiu was wearing as he greeted him at the doorway– a plain black shirt with the words “STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF” loudly embroidered onto it. His pants had patterns of musical instruments, bows and arrows, mathematical symbols, pens and...chariots..?? He caught himself staring at the strange aesthetic.
“...You have caught me at an inopportune time,” Kong Qiu began by clearing his throat just subtly enough to command Lei Heng's attention. "...My garments are like this for the bit, if you were wondering.” The place behind him was seemingly empty, but the bloodied man could've sworn he briefly saw the shadow of a tall woman.
“Wow,” Lei Heng managed to mutter. “I did quite a number on you lot, huh?” The thought of exhausting the Tiangang Star (and his clan, obviously, but the Tiangang Star most of all because– come on, it's the Tiangang Star!) to the point where he apparently felt the need to strip down to just a basic combo of a shirt and pants, whatever that means , made his heart swell with sick pride. He felt his mouth twisting into a smirk.
“How are you alive? Your head was destroyed- and with that, your brain. Have you found your own method of immortality, or have you used another's?”
The man noticed Kong Qiu's eyes darken. Wait a second- did he think he entered a contract with that clockhead? It wasn't out of the question, not to mention the only known alternative. Could he use the hand that's been dealt to him? Could these series of events lead into a dramatic story of betrayal with twists and turns, all staged by the Tiantui Star himself?!?
…No, Kong Qiu would probably blow his head off again to prove his theory. He'd be a fool to tell such a flimsy lie to the man's face. Damn it all.
“Naw, that clock had nothing to do with it. Don't worry.” Another time, then. He really craved a cigar now.
“Then, how?”
That stumped Lei Heng a little. “Uh.” How did he come back? Couldn't have done it without breaking a Taboo.
His smirk fell. Shit, did he break a Taboo? But the Head would've been on his ass by now.
“Uhhh. I dunno. I just kinda… got back up?”
Kong Qiu's eyes lowered to the Tiantui Star's blade. All traces of ironic humor suddenly left Lei Heng's face, his eyes taking on a serious look that pierced through the man before him. He felt his blood boil at the preposterous accusation that Kong Qiu's gaze threw. “Don't you dare. Don't you dare think about it, Tiangang Star. What, you thought that I'd let anybody lay claim to it?” His grip on the podao tightened. “No one will ever wield this blade but me. I'd climb out of hell just to rip the throat clean off of any fucker who dares to so much as touch it after I die. No one will ever impersonate me.”
Lei Heng felt cold sweat running down his back. That telltale sign of extreme rage, that feeling of slowly starting to see red after being wronged… Oh , he thought, how satisfying it is to be truly angry. No amount of rookie Thumb soldatos with less decorum than a chair could ever give him such a cathartic reaction.
He licked his lips, as if preparing for a meal. A primal part of his brain almost wanted Kong Qiu to insist that he was a fake, just so he could get high off of this festering tide even further. To hell with blown-off heads and glowing rings; Lei Heng wanted nothing more than to attain the “go” signal to lunge at the man in front of him, like a winged tiger, and bite and tear and rend until his flames were snuffed out.
Then, Kong Qiu manifested his staff out of thin air. A soft breeze came with the motion, licking at the large dried scabs over Lei Heng's neck, picking them clean off. His hair drifted lazily in the wind and the crimson rot that bubbled in his heart settled for a moment. He blinked once, twice.
“I know,” said Kong Qiu. “I am only evaluating all the alternatives. I know that blade means a lot to you.”
He wandered his hand lightly over where the scabs once were. A large patch of scar tissue, swirling like petals… a mark of defeat. Indeed; Kong Qiu had bested him multiple times, fair and square. He was much higher in the Pinky's hierarchy for a reason. Yet he was here, apologizing to someone far inferior to him… because he was offended ? He, the guy who almost killed his underling and didn't even think twice about it?
Fucking hell, Lei Heng wanted to throw up.
He weakened his grip on the blade. It was like all his rage had drifted away with the gust of wind, leaving shame in its wake– something he hadn't felt in a long time. He averted his eyes from the man, brows furrowed like a child being lectured.
If only he knew what was wrong with him.
“Why have you come here, Chachihu?”
Lei Heng sighed. It had all been defeats today, both big and small, over and over. “...Look man, I can't go back to the Thumb like this.” He showed his phone screen to Kong Qiu. 10 missed calls and an unholy amount of texts that grew more desperate and vulgar each time, all from someone called “Bossman”.
“He thinks I'm dead! Hell, I think I'm dead- but I'm not taking my chances, alright? If I go back, he'll absolutely have my head and hang it on a coat rack-- justifiably so! …Which means I'm kind of on the run now.”
Kong Qiu remained silent.
“...Until I find out what the hell is going on with me, you're the strongest guy in the City that I know. Now- I'm not gonna dickride you or anything, but I do understand that you're stronger than me. I respect that. But hey, what's some extra manpower, right? Besides, I've got connections from people who don't -and won't- know I'm supposed to be dead. I can get y'all out of petty conflicts and unnecessary standoffs. I know you hate that kinda stuff. Ever the talker- ahem . Whaddya say? I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh?”
“...”
“...”
“I have two conditions.”
Holy shit it's actually working. “Anything in my power, I'll do.”
“One: I understand that you have a rigid sense of hierarchy. Here, I treat Zilu and Zigong as my equals. I expect you to do the same. Should you violate this condition three times, expect to spill much blood.”
Wow. “I mean, you guys outrank me. Surely I can't be that condescending, right?”
“Two, then.”
Lei Heng, he thought to himself, you are the stupidest motherfucker in the entire City.
“...Good..! So uh, what's the second condition?”
“No smoking indoors. This isn't included in your two strikes, but do keep in mind that you will be warned every time.”
“Really? Not even my premium cigars?”
“No.”
“The ones that actually smell pretty nice?”
“No.”
“I've got ones that smell like mimosas!”
“The flower or the drink?”
“...Both?”
“No.”
“Dang.” Lei Heng shrugged. “Fine, I'll manage somehow.”
—
“You cannot be serious.” That was the first thing to come out of Zigong's mouth after the initial reunion.
Lei Heng grinned. “Nice to see you again too, Zigong.”
“How are you even-” She slightly lowered her fan. “My lord, his head was blown clean off, wasn't it? I clearly remember that you left a flower there as well.”
His grin froze on his face. “He what now?”
Now it was Kong Qiu's turn to avoid eye contact. “It was only a form of courtesy. Do not take it to heart.”
Lei Heng rummaged through his pockets, grin even wider now. Oh, he was so going to tease Kong Qiu with this. “Where'd you say he left it again, Zigong?”
“Right on top of your neck, as the blood was gushing out of it. I'll have you know it made for quite the gorgeous sight.” She smiled, a sadistic glint in her eyes.
“Wait-” Lei Heng felt up and down his neck. “Could it be inside me?”
“Would that be grounds for Hanahaki disease?” Zilu suddenly stepped out of the shadows; a large, half-eaten dumpling in hand. She had bandages all over her body, even more than usual around her chest, the open parts covered by a pair of black shorts and a tank top. She looked… surprisingly okay, actually, which was surprising to Lei Heng.
“Meizhelan?!”
“Chachihu,” she replied indifferently. “I thought you were dead.”
Lei Heng shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. “Things change, y’know?”
“...No, really, I thought you were dead for good. What remained of your brain rained over my body and stained my clothes.” She took another bite out of the dumpling. “Are the pawns of the Head on their way, now?”
“No, it's been a few hours. I couldn't have broken a Taboo.”
Her expression (the visible parts, at least) did not change, instead she looked at Kong Qiu expectantly. Kong Qiu also did not move a muscle. Were they communicating telepathically or something?
After a brief silence, she took yet another bite and slowly retreated back to her room, not even bothering with her signature Mao swiftness. Lei Heng could feel the “I don't get paid enough for this” energy exuding out of her. Wow, that's just insult to my injury.
“...So do I actually have the Hanahaki or somethin’?” He broke up the awkward atmosphere.
“Are you even capable of love, tiger?” Zigong jabbed, raising her fan to her mouth.
“I'm a real loverboy once you get to know me, serpent.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“Oh yeah? Wanna see for yourself?”
“...Not in the slightest.”
He wiggled his brows. “Are you sure?”
Zigong looked uncomfortable now. “I am.”
Kong Qiu loomed over him, a pressing aura suffocating Lei Heng. He was on thin ice, he was smart enough to know that. “...Right. Okay. But do keep in mind- I could pick up anyone in this hideout if I put my heart into it!”
Zigong tilted her head, her initial discomfort leaving its place to mild curiosity. “Oh? How would you do that, then?”
Lei Heng laughed boisterously. “Ha! That's, uh-” He cleared his throat. “That's a trade secret. Something that could, perhaps… heh, make ol’ Tiangang Star here swoon over me in a single week.”
Half of her face was obscured and her eyes perpetually closed and yet, he could see the horrible, no-good, very bad ideas that Zigong was getting. She was so very obviously smiling behind that fan.
“Would you bet on it?”