Work Text:
“Riddle Rosehearts. LOL, that boy was made for this name, fr…” thought Idia Shroud, at midnight, laying in his bed with his headphones on, playing “Aoi, Koi, Daidaiiro no Hi” by Mass of the Fermenting Dregs.
He had a long and exhausting day, even if he was one of the extroverts like Kalim Al Asim or Cater Diamond. Not even them would handle what he did for so long, nobody could actually do something so inhuman for that many hours. So, he was quite grateful for having someone to share this agony with, even if he felt like this someone was mad at him now.
It all began months ago, a few hours before VDC, when he had to make a speech in front of hundreds of people about the most advanced technology. Idia was chill about the topic he had to talk about, he was a genius after all. However, oh, with that many eyes on him, he would never make it out alive!
Behind the stage, the blue haired boy spied the audience from behind the curtains, with a hint of curiosity about how many people would come to see him, which was the worst decision he had ever made.
There was a crowd of fancy adults, some were even famous developers or entrepreneurs in the area of development, all of them talking about their expectations in an exciting and loud tone. At most, Idia was expecting some locais to watch, and that already gave him chills down his spine.
But now? Oh, that was terrifying! His heart was beating faster in his chest, feeling like it would escape from his throat, and then his body began to get weaker as he shaked and shaked. He was alone there, but if he wasn’t, that would be terribly awkward. Like, what if those curtains opened now and everyone saw him like that?
His vision was getting blurry, suddenly, and he thought he was about to pass away pathetically and alone. Perhaps it was a heart attack due to the anxiety plus all the junk food he ate all along his life, yeah, it could be! But then, he noticed his cheeks were wet. Those were tears, tears born out of his stupid despair, dooming him to ruin everything again and to prove how weak and useless he was!
Everybody would see it, everybody would know about it, everybody would hate him even more than they already do, everybody hated him and they had a reason. After all he was nothing more than a piece of shit who could do nothing other than feeling pity for himself or rot in his room all day.
Everything around him seemed bigger, ready to step on him as he drowned in an infinity pit of hate towards no one other than himself.
Why did it happen the day he thought, for a few moments, he would finally be able to speak without his Tablet? Maybe Riddle Rosehearts would finally see he improved thanks to this speech, if he succeeded, but no! How bold of him to assume he would have such a glow up so quickly, life was no anime and character development didn't happen so suddenly, and for some, like him, it might never happen!
His chest was starting to ache, and his ears could hear nothing other than a weird white noise, muffling everything else. Idia kneeled down and curled up on the floor, crying endlessly. His hands impulsively formed fists, and reached to his head, punching his own head repeatdly. But then, without noticing, he felt a warm hand holding his wrists from behind.
– Don't cause harm to yourself! – said a familiar voice, that sounded quite demanding, but had a hint of worry there – I-It will get better, but meanwhile, I am here! – the voice spoke once more, nervous, but not so demanding anymore.
Idia gulped the moment he realized who was the owner of such a voice. It scared him at first to know Riddle Rosehearts saw him in this disgusting state. How long has he been there? It could be from the beginning to the end, and he saw all the development of his panic attack, and that was the last thing he craved for.
But, despite the insecurity, Riddle didn't appear to be threatening now. His words, his voice and his touch, somehow, brought him some comfort. Despiste not being enough to make him stop crying or his breath to calm, it was still something.
He looked up, finally seeing Riddle there, in his school uniform as usual, with the same red hair with the shape of a heart, the same pinkish face, the same grey serene eyes, the same lipstick that had the shape of a heart on his lips, the same everything, the same Riddle from everyday. This sense of familiarity made him wonder when Riddle became familiar to him.
Usually, when he thinks about people in his routine, his younger brother was definitely the first one to pop in his mind. However, right after, Riddle was there, being the one that got closer to him, even if they were still quite distant from each other. After all, Idia was close to almost no one, so sharing little moments of interaction already made the queen one of the closest people to him. But he definitely would not think the same, since he has many card soldiers and colleagues by his side. Idia was just someone else.
– What happened, Idia? Do you want to tell me? – Riddle asked him, but Idia wasn't able to speak, so Riddle continued – OK, I understand. Breath a little first, alright? I can help you with that, so just follow my lead.
Then, the queen took a deep breath to demonstrate how Idia could do it. He could see his chest levitating and lowering, slowly, on repeat, so he tried to do the same. When he noticed his breath was coming back, he tried to say anything:
– I-I…m so…rry… – the Shroud mumbled, with his voice sounding husky.
– Why do you apologise?
– I am… s-so pathetic… I can't even… speak… without using my Tablet… and this many people… I felt so… debuffed… – then, Idia looked away to avoid Riddle's eyes, ashamed.
The Heartslyabul boy got quiet for a moment, nodding understandingly, but also a little guilty.
– So, you can quit speaking, Idia.
– Eh? – made Idia, surprised, looking at Riddle again.
– You still have time before the presentation, some minutes, so you should rest. – he explained, calmly – Then, when the speech begins, use the tablet to speak as usual.
– Why the change so suddenly, dude? – the Ighinihyde housewarden asked, so confused he stopped crying.
– I knew you were scared of speaking in public, but if it made you that anxious, I should've not incentivated you to try speaking without your device and not offer any help to you… – he sighted, and then kept talking – So if you think you are totally incapable of doing it, you can use it. But to be honest, I don't doubt that you have the potential to achieve it some day.
Idia had many questions to make, like, why does Riddle even care? What made him change? Why was he the one feeling guilty if Idia was the one who messed up everything? Why was he so kind?
It was so weird to have someone by your side, reassuring you, even more when this someone is not his brother. Though, he was not complaining, so he asked no questions, and just nodded silently.
Riddle let go of his wrists, trusting he would not try to punch himself again, and sat on the floor in front of Idia, who placed his free hands on his own shoulders, as he kept trying to recover his breath. Hence, silence took land there, with no noise but the crowd outside. But now, even them were not as loud as before. It felt like only the two of them were there, alone.
That was comforting enough.
– Are you feeling any better?
– Yah… just don't leave yet… – he muttered, without thinking straight.
– Alright, I'll just text Trey to continue checking on the festival without me…
“Ah, so this is what he was here for…” Idia realized. Perhaps Riddle was checking on everything and got responsible for checking on Idia's speech, so he found him.
– You know what? Forget it, feel free to do your job. I know how you feel about this kind of stuff, so I'll be okay.
– It's nothing, checking on you was the last thing I had to do, so I am free to stay for as long as I want. – he answered, typing on his phone quickly, before putting it back in his pocket – Done.
– Alright… Thanks… – he mumbled again, embarrassed to have asked him to stay if he had nothing to offer him to Riddle. He, a lost cause, was just wasting Riddle's time, the Queen of Heartslyabul's, again.
As he thought how ridiculous he was being again, Riddle tapped his shoulder again. When Idia looked, he saw the boy with a bottle of water, which he hesitantly accepted and drank a sip. Meanwhile, Riddle talked:
– So, if you are worried about the speech, still, beside the tablet, perhaps I could try to help you.
– What do you mean by that?
– Simple: I will be right here, watching you, and if you mess up even a little bit, I will close the curtains and the speech will end.
– Yo, but you've totally got a “strictness achievement”, don't ya? You definitely will close it, why do this when it would 100% ruin everything?
– I have ways to deal with it later, don't worry. But we should give it a try, and then you can leave back to your bedroom.
Idia nodded, agreeing. It was an opportunity to slip away if he messed up, and people would probably think things like “It must've been a technical mistake” and will leave. That was definitely an opportunity, because he knew he would mess up in the first minutes at best. Or so he thought.
They spent the next half an hour together, sharing a silence with a few exchanged comfortable words, before Idia had to step on the stage and begin to speak, using his Tablet, of course.
Soon, he began to notice this was taking too long. Riddle didn't interrupt the event since it began, and he saw with the side of his eyes that the queen was actually paying a lot of attention with his strict usual look, even taking notes while he watched.
If Riddle had his guard up to close the curtains in case of need, then was Idia actually doing alright? Was it possible that, for once, he did something without messing it up completely?
He even saw Ortho in the middle of the crowd, so he had a way to avoid looking at all those scary unknown important people. If he had the reassurance he was doing fine and had his brother in the audience, maybe he could actually do it!
It was still making him anxious every once in a while, about some specific line or answer for a question, but there was a difference now.
Before he realized, the curtains were closing. However it wasn't the Rosehearts doing it, it was only the event ending.
A huge weight lifted from his chest, and so did the strength In his legs. The older Shroud had to support himself on the wall, taking some deep breaths.
Then, he heard the sound of high heels clicking on the wooden floor, coming to his direction, and then, he saw Riddle, smiling slightly. To Idia, now, Riddle felt like a hero, shining brightly after a rescue.
– Even if you were using the tablet, you did a great job, Idia. – he said, leaning on the wall next to Idia.
– For real? – the flame haired boy asked.
– Surely. I was right, as expected.
– Type shit.
– Excuse me? – asked Riddle, who was not expecting Idia to agree with him, since the veteran was usually quite stubborn when he wanted to.
– I said type shit… It is even more pathetic when I don’t try to stop being pathetic, isn't It?
– That was not what I said…
– But it is the truth! I… am exhausted from this… I don't want to be an extrovert nor be someone that social, and Sevens save me from this, but when I need to talk, I am exhausted from this fear, Riddle. – Idia explained, as his hear slowly turned into a redder shade of fire, getting hotter – This fucking sucks!
– Language, please! – the queen advertised, and Idia's fiery hair lowered its temperature and the color was back to blue – However, I understand and admire your fight towards this fear, now that I actually saw it. So, count on me in case you need any advice, training, or just to talk, alright?
– You would do that?
– Of course. I break no rules, nor promises.
For a moment, Riddle smiled in a bolder way, unusual for him. But Idia noticed and pictured this face in his head many times later, just like Riddle pictured the tips of Idia's hair getting pinker after that.
Idia was quite amused after watching Riddle's big heart, having empathy towards a freak like Idia. It was a riddle why the Heartslyabul boy was doing that, but his heart was kind and gentle.
For a long while after this day, Idia thought Riddle's name fitted on him for this exact same reason: all his actions were riddles, but they definitely have a tip of kindness coming from his heart.
However, something was missing: the Roses were not only a part of his aesthetic as the Queen of Hearts, who had a big garden full of roses there. It played a big part in his character, surely. Perhaps it also had to do with his elegant, romantic and charming looks, like a rose. Though, Idia Shroud only understood it today: Riddle had a rose heart.
It began the previous day, during one of Idia's and Riddle's talks. It became something common for them, after VDC, to meet once or twice a week, at Heartslyabul or at Ighinihyde, to train, give advice, or simply talk to pass the time. They sat on the bed for hours, eating some snacks Riddle usually didn't eat despiste enjoying them, and doing anything.
To Idia, it was an escape from all his responsibilities and fears, and he tried to make gestures to let Riddle be aware of it, even if he wasn’t sure about how Riddle felt. Another riddle.
When it happened, they were at Heartslyabul, in Riddle's bedroom, eating one of Trey Clover's dishes. Despite being an unfamiliar place, Idia rather to meet Riddle there. No card soldier even dared to enter the queen's place without his permission, so it was always quiet. His bedroom also smelled nice, like roses and strawberries, since it was always clean and organized.
Riddle’s bed was also bigger and more comfortable, so they could lay there if they wished to, without having to check if the other isn't already doing that.
Idia was laying on the bed by Riddle's side.
The red haired boy seemed to be relaxed, something that for others might look unusual, but it was a vision Idia had with a higher frequency. Once, he even heard Ortho talking with two of his friends from Heartslyabul plus a Pomerfiore boy, and then the ginger one, whose name he thinks it’s Ace Trappola, complained:
– I am saying, like, despiste being better than before, housewarden is still one of the stricttests, least patient, and toughest guy I know in this school. Epel has it good with Vil yet! She might be strict as well, but Riddle doesn't rest until he makes sure everybody is straight on the line!
Idia knew about Riddle's fame of being strict, since he even overbloted while shouting at everybody about rules (or at least he heard, he thinks there was something deeper he doesn't know about). But when he thinks about the Riddle lying next to him, someone so reliable and kind, he often forgets about it.
To Idia, Riddle was strict when he had to. That was all.
At the moment, they were silent, sharing Idia's headphone to listen to “worst case scenario” by Nastyona, until Riddle turned his head to look at Idia, paused the song, and commented:
– You have been staring.
– No, I have not.
– Yes, you have. For a long time, now. Do you have something to say?
“Do you have something to say?” was a question that was often made between them, because even if they got closer, sometimes, Idia still got stuck in his words. Riddle, as the perceptive guy he is, notes almost every time, and he always asks this question.
It was almost a rule that, after it is made, the queen says nothing until the Shroud says something. But sometimes, Idia only stared at Riddle because he was pretty, not because he wanted to say anything, so he just came up with anything. This was not exactly the case today, since he had been thinking about something, but not about saying it. However, now that he had the opportunity, he wasn’t going to waste it.
– After VDC… I got an invitation for a social event with some of those important people in the audience, tomorrow.
– And will you go?
– At first, I wasn't. But Ortho insisted and convinced me and said he would go with me, and I confirmed the presence of two people at the event. – Idia explained, and then changed the position he was lying to face the pillow – But Ortho made friends with those 2 dudes from your dorm, a guy from Savanaclaw and one from Pomerfiore, who invited him to hang out. I allowed because I was happy for him, but now I am fucked!
– Language. Can't you cancel the presence?
– Negative… I tried, but they said our places have already been reserved, and they can't change the number of people now.
– That’s a shame…
– Yeah… So, I was thinking if you wouldn’t like to… y'know… go out with me, just for the event. I understand if you don't…
– Fine, I would be glad to accompany you, Idia. – he interrupted, nodding his head.
Idia stood up quickly, forgetting that there was a mobile above Riddle's bed, so he hitted his head, letting out a loud “Ouch!”.
– Oh Sevens, are you okay? – Riddle asked, worried, standing up as well, but he wasn’t tall enough to hit his head.
– Yah… would you really? – Idia asked once more.
– Well, of course I would. I am pretty sure it would be rather pleasing. – Riddle pointed – However, you shall excuse me now, I will be grabbing a bag of ice for your head…
– W-wait! – the Ighinihyde housewarden said, grabbing Riddle's hands.
The younger boy seemed to be surprised, and perhaps confused too, so when Idia noticed how he acted, by impulse, he immediately let go of his hands. He didn't want to make Riddle uncomfortable or anything similar.
But Rosehearts was not uncomfortable, far from that. He didn't even mind Idia holding his hands, because it didn't hurt, nor intended to be aggressive towards his person.
– Yes? – was all he said after Idia let his hands free.
– Uh… – “Holy fuck I need to stop doing that” Idia thought to himself, but continued speaking – thanks…
Riddle smiled, softly.
– It's no big deal. By the way, your hair looks good in pink too. – the queen spoke, walking away.
– It has been pink?! Craps, you saw nothing! – Idia shouted, putting his hands on his hair, as if he could hide it.
And then, the boy chuckled, before he left the room, leaving a flustered Idia all by himself. Not that he wasn’t a little bit flustered of course.
Lately, Riddle has been feeling weird towards Idia, but a good type of weird. He felt like he had nothing else when he had Idia near him, nothing else to worry, nor anything to do. The world has been distant from him whenever he is able to see the older Shroud for a few moments, and it brought him strength.
But despite enjoying this feeling, sometimes, he got deeply worried about it: when he forgot about all his responsibilities, who would he be? Who was he when he had nothing to attend for? When he was occious, was he being useless? And even not knowing the answer of all these questions, he tried to push these thoughts away, repeating to himself like a mantra: “It was just my mother's influence, I am doing nothing wrong.”
Though, Riddle was unaware that soon he would be obligated to face this feeling, and even worse, show it.
It happened on the next day, when Riddle was waiting for Idia near the mirror chamber, where they would use one of the mirrors to go to the place where the event would happen. Idia was not late, Riddle was the one who came 10 minutes before the time they agreed with.
He wore a suit as red as the color of blood, with a white rose, dyed red, on his front pocket, which he took from Heartslyabul's garden. He also had some golden little chains decorating his outfit, including his head, almost serving as a little crown. To end it, his bag was shaped like a porcupine.
The queen sat on the stairs, patiently waiting for Idia, who after some time, came running to his encounter. It was clear he probably didn't organize his time properly, because he was panting, his suit had some buttons opened, and his tie was undone. But in compensation, his hair was still made, and Idia at least tried to use something more formal for the occasion.
Riddle stood up and walked to his direction, with his heels clicking on the floor and echoing through the mirror chambers. Besides being messy, the queen still found the Shroud unexpectedly adorable, but he still had to help him to adjust his clothes.
– I can do this by myself, y'know… – Idia muttered, static, paralyzed by Riddle's proximity.
– If your tie is undone after you run just a little, then it was not tied properly. Let me do at least this for you. – Riddle asked as his hands runned around Idia's neck with the fabric, knotting it adequately, though he was also tense and missed the knot twice.
So when he was done, he took some steps back, avoiding the awkwardness. His shoulders relaxed after he was away, but Idia's didn't, catching Riddle's curiosity and worry. Perhaps Idia noticed, because he looked away for some moments, his yellow pupils trying to find any spot to lay on, though they always come back to Riddle's grey pretty eyes, with his long red lashes. And then, he sighted, giving up and speaking:
– Yah think it will be alright there?
– Pretty sure it will. If you get too tired, those sorts of events usually have some hidden spots that people usually avoid. You could rest there. – Riddle reassured, and then he held Idia's hand – And I'll be there in case you need any support.
– If that’s so, you'll be on my back all night…
– Nothing wrong with that, at least for me. Shall we go? – he asked.
Idia nodded, hesitantly, but he still did.
Idia led them to the mirror that would take them to the right place. According to what Riddle was told by the Shroud, it would be somewhere between the Briar Valley and the Kingdom Of Roses, where Riddle used to live, and it was already night there, though it was still 6pm at NRC. So they could stay there for as long as the event lasted, without worrying about what time it was now. That ceased some of the Roseheart's worries, since his routine had always been punctually followed with very specific hours.
Everything seemed perfect when they crossed the mirror, besides Idia being still anxious, he was getting better at socializing, slowly. Besides, Riddle was there to hold things up in case Idia couldn’t do it. It has been like that since they started meeting, when he incentivised the Ighinihyde housewarden to join their meetings presencial more often, or when he didn't close the curtains on purpose even after Idia messed up some words, so he could understand that making mistakes isn't the end of the world (of course, depending on what Idia done, he was really planning to close them so he wasn’t actually humiliated).
The duo was already teleported inside the mansion where the event would happen, so the first thing they saw was lots of people in fancy dresses and suits, drinking all sorts of drinks in glasses, talking about anything.
There was a maid near the mirror, welcoming the visitors that arrived, including Riddle and Idia.
All Riddle did was to smile at the lady and reply a “thank you”, with a humble look in his eyes, which Idia tried to copy, but all he did was a simple “huh”, nodding his head, as he walked behind the Rosehearts.
– Why did they even invite me to this…? – Idia whispered.
– It's a sign you did a good job back then, so don't worry. – Riddle reassured.
– Nah, I'm hella worried…
– Then, what about this: now it is 10 o'clock. Let's stay at least until midnight, and if you can handle more, we stay more. If you can’t, we leave, sounds good? – he asked, and Idia nodded.
They walked a little more to take a table for them, one near the windows, just for two, where they could see the storm outside and feel safe inside that huge mansion, owned by some rich man whose name was unimportant. Even though there were many options of drinks, both of them just took a cup of water, since Idia didn't enjoy these gross alcoholic drinks, and Riddle was a minor. But in compensation, there were a lot of dishes they could eat, especially candies. Both loved candies, and the ones disposed of at the white tables along the hall seemed to be really attractive.
At the first 20 minutes, almost nobody noticed them there, but after that, they stood up to walk along the party.
None of them really stopped to talk with no one specifically, since Riddle was with Idia, and Idia was not invited with clear intentions of negotiation, like it is usually done at this type of event. However, at each person their paths crossed, Idia complimented them, saying a simple and plain “Good evening”, hoping no one would try to stop him to actually start a conversation. Nothing was perfect, so somebody actually stopped him.
It was a white and tall man, wearing black attires, with a golden clock in his pocket. He was bald, and his eyes were green, but not the pretty tone of green that was usually seen in mother nature.
– Oh, good evening, lad. You must be Mr.Shroud, from NRC's speech about Magiscript and the main event of the recent news about S.T.Y.X – he said, with a raspy voice.
VDC and the S.T.Y.X incident had a few days of difference, so his name became news, as a genius young guy with controversial origins. He didn't have peace for some days after that, so his home during those times became his younger brother and Riddle Rosehearts, who still had resentments after Idia kidnapped him and the other overblotters, but understood none of this was his choice and learned to leave this in the past.
– Uh, yeah… Me… – the Shroud answered, awkwardly.
– Ohoho, quite hard not to tell, given your unique features! – the man said, probably referring to his blue fire hair.
“Damn it, I must be the elephant in the room…” Idia thought, laughing nervously at the joke.
– Uh-huh… q-quite hard not to see me…
– Indeed! But tell me, boy, have you been enjoying the event? I even heard you came today with a girl tonight…
– Who the hell told you that? – Idia interrupted without thinking twice.
The man looked intimidated by the brusque vocabulary so suddenly, in a boy that previously looked so foolish.
– Well, you were with a…
– Guy. – Idia interrupted once more.
– Sure… It must've been a mistake of sight… If you excuse me. – the man said, before finally leaving.
Without a doubt, that was weird. Riddle is clearly a guy, so unless someone else was with them, there was no girl there. Somebody with sight issues must've seen it and thought Riddle was a woman.
However, he had more things to worry about other than someone else's myopia, for example, why the heck did he say this shit? He acted so much out of impulse and fucked everything up, and now that old man was probably judging the hell out of Idia. It would definitely become a gossip, and he would be hated. He should’ve stayed home, finishing his gameplay of Omori with Ortho or drinking energetic drinks in his bed while he listened to the same musics on repeat (like he is currently doing at the moment this story is being narrated, listening to his playlist over and over, and drinking “Monster”).
As if it could not get worse, Riddle disappeared from his side while he talked to the old man. He couldn’t tell when nor where, but he was actually gone. And it was not like he could see his red hair among the crowd, since he was too small for that. His voice was also soft, except for when he was mad at something, so hearing him would be troublesome.
At least, Riddle was wearing red, and almost everybody was wearing black or white. Furthermore, Riddle might be small, but Idia was tall and eccentric, so the queen could quickly find him.
Even so, he thought he should still search for him, and immediately walked away, looking for all the places where they passed through together, and even came back to the table where they were before, but only his porcupine bag was there. He got it and carried it with him, so he could give it to Riddle when he found him, and then, they could leave this place. It had been only half an hour, but he could no longer stand this. The Rosehearts would probably be mad at him, but he would understand.
After some time of searching, he saw a hint of a red cloth among some people, the same cloth Riddle was wearing as his suit.
“It must be him! I was so tired of searching, but now it's game over!” he thought, and walked to the figure’s direction. As he got closer, he saw that familiar red hair and small stature, like it had always been.
Relieved, Idia touched their shoulder, only for the person to turn around and be a woman.
She was small, just like Riddle, had the same red hair with a heart shape, had the same gray eyes full of strictness, long lashes, everything. But there were still some differences between the two of them.
Her hair was longer, but it seemed short in the distance because of the hairstyle, stuck in some braids. She was also way older than Riddle, at least 45 years old, telling by her face. The woman was also wearing red, but she had a skirt that Idia didn't see thanks to the cloth she held.
– May I help you? – she asked. Even her voice was alike, like they shared the same VA, but hers looked almost soulless.
– A-ah, sorry… You look like my partner and… – Idia tried to explain, but was interrupted by her.
– Then, goodbye. – she cutted him, and walked away.
“More dumb conversations and less Riddle…” Idia sighed, thinking to himself. Perhaps that was the woman the man from before confused himself with. Maybe Riddle was seen, but they thought it was this rude old woman.
His eyes wandered to the direction she was walking away, and saw something that made him change his mind and walk back to her.
– W-where did you get this coat? – Idia asked, and the woman stopped to look at him meanicingly.
The coat Riddle was wearing might be simple at first sight, however, Idia saw clearly that it had a white rose painted red on its pocket. It was clearly his, but that woman that looked like him was carrying it.
– Why? Is it yours? – She asked.
– No, but…
– Do you know who it belongs to?
– Yes, so…
– Then, give it back to the guy. My foolish and sick daughter stole it from god knows who… – the woman lamented, as she gave the coat in Idia's trembling hands.
The Shroud was not dumb, and he could guess something was off with this story.
– Uh… thank you, lady…
– Rosehearts.
“Fuck.” he cursed to himself, paralyzed as he saw the lady walk away without saying a single word.
When Riddle was a patient at S.T.Y.X, he was almost always calm and collected, but even his moments of stress were not enough for someone to overblot. Of course, he have gone through a process of becoming a better dorm leader and person after Heartslyabul's incident, but back then, something was different from today.
When he asked himself “Why did Riddle overblot?”, the answer Ortho gave him was a recording a brave (or really dumb) Heartslyabul student made during his overblot.
The conclusion was that Riddle was following his routine, until Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Yuu, and Grimm, led the students to rebel against the dorm leader. That was it, the stress of being refuted after so long made him overblot.
But now that he thinks about it, holding his coat, that for some reason was wet with a liquid the same color of the fabric, there was more to it. Even if it was triggered by a specific event, it has been accumulated for quite a long time to reach the point of an overblot.
“My mother was right”, those were the words that echoed his head now, words he heard on the recordings and didn't mind much attention. But where did he learn to be so strict other than at his own house? And how did it become so extreme?
Violence.
Violence, of course.
The moment the rules were threatened, his pillars of existence, he was violent. That's why he overbloted. That was his shield and weapon.
Those were the thorns that protected a rose heart, a fragile and beautiful heart.
But if there was someone capable of destroying those thorns by force and stepping on his heart, it must be his cruel and beloved mother, the only one who he defended being right other than himself when he threw a tantrum.
Mrs.Rosehearts was referring to Riddle when she mentioned a “foolish and sick daughter”. That was obvious as well, and Idia could guess why.
The stains on the coat were dripping that unfortunate liquid, blood, at the white floor. So when Idia saw a path of blood, coming from where the cruel woman came from, Idia followed it until its source.
It wasn't too far from there, but it reached a door leading to the outside, where the sky was falling above them in the form of rain.
At the door's side, there was an umbrella holder with many umbrellas kept. The lad just caught any, opened it, and opened the door, finally laying his eyes on the young Rosehearts, the boy he took so long to find.
Idia would never dare to say he was happy to find Riddle. Of course, he was relieved to see he was alive and conscient, but he was not okay enough for Idia to be happy.
He was sitting on the floor with his legs against his chest, hugging his knees and burying his face in the space between them. His hair covered his eyes and face, but the way he breathed told that he had been crying lately.
As expected, he didn't have his coat, but that was not all: he was also not wearing his white shirt, it was ripped on the floor, next to him, destroyed. Now, he was shirtless in the rain, with scratches bleeding along his torso.
There was no doubt he was cold, since he was shaking and sneezing from time to time.
But suddenly, the cold breeze seemed to fade away, and the rain stopped, though he could still hear its sounds not far from him. There was also a new weight on his shoulders, giving him some warmth.
“How weird…” Riddle thought to himself “The sound of the rain should be already far away if it actually ended.”
His embrace on his knees lightened, and he opened his eyes a little to see what was happening.
On his shoulders, his red coat was lying, warming his body and stopping the breeze from reaching his back.
Around him, a blue light surrounded everything.
By his side, Idia Shroud was standing there, carrying an umbrella to protect Riddle from the rain, looking at him foundly. He also had his porcupine bag on his free hand, which he was handing it to him.
– Are you okay, dude? – Idia asked.
Riddle's first instinct wasn’t answering, but it was covering himself with the coat even more, staring scaredly at the Shroud. Maybe Idia hadn't noticed it before, but, now that he did this, he probably would. Riddle messed everything up completely.
– Oh… Your chest… – Idia muttered, getting on his knees to be at Riddle's height, and leaning closer to him.
“That’s it, he saw…” the queen thought.
– It's fucking bleeding! What the heck did that R-tier old woman have done?!
Riddle paralyzed.
– Are you concerned about the scratches…?
– Duh! There is blood dripping from your chest, and you want me to chill?!
– Uh… I didn't say it…
– So explain everything later, do you have anything that can be used against the blood?!
– Yes, yes… There are swathes inside the porcupine bag… – Riddle answered, taking the bag from Idia's hands and searching for the swathes. When he found them, he gave them to Idia – Here. Could you help me to bandage myself?
Idia hesitated for a moment, but accepted the swathes and rolled it around Riddle's chest.
It was notable he was focusing on his wounds, but, eventually, after all the wounds were covered, he asked:
– Tighter?
– What?
– You heard me. – Idia complaint – Would you rather if I did this tighter?
– Oh… – Riddle did, before nodding and uppering his arms a little, to give the older one more access – So you noticed…
– How wouldn’t I? – Idia questioned, trying to pull the fabric tighter.
– For how long?
– Since S.T.Y.X, I had to take medical exams on the overblotters, remember?
– Right, how could I have forgotten? – Riddle asked, chuckling a little – After so long, I am still slow…
– Nah, yah couldn’t have thought about everything in the situation yah were in. Not even I did. – Idia reassured, finishing his job on Riddle's chest, who touched it to confirmate he is actually flat – Enough?
– Enough. – he confirmed, smiling lightly – Thank you, Idia.
– It's no big deal, really… Btw, what the heck happened? This shit is madness, dude…
Riddle's eyes became blank and his smile slowly faded as soon as the topic came back. For a moment, he forgot he had to explain why he was bleeding alone in the rain, shirtless, to make it worse.
He held his knees once more, but didn't hide his face anymore.
It all began when they were walking along the party, complimenting people. But Riddle's heels were killing him, so he had to stop to take them off for a moment and then continue walking as usual.
He was going to warn Idia about it, however, the old man began to talk with him, and Riddle wasn’t going to interrupt a dialogue Idia is fighting so much to acquire.
“As long as I still see him from afar, I can still come back. It will be only for a few seconds, after all.” he thought, and walked back to their table, putting the porcupine bag on Idia's chair, and took his boot off under the table. A sense of relief washed over him, feeling his feets free again.
He put his boots back on, and got ready to stand up and come back to Idia's side, however, as he walked, he accidentally bumped into someone, letting their cup of drinks fall and break on the ground.
The person turned to stare at the Rosehearts angrily, so he apologised:
– Forgive me… I will clean it, do not worry. – Riddle apologised, bending down to take the glass in his bare hands.
– Oh, this kid looks a lot like you, Mrs.Rosehearts. – said the person whose drink fell on the ground.
– Excuse me? – said the familiar and threatening voice of a woman exactly like Riddle, as if she was a mirror of himself or he was hers. That woman walked to Riddle's direction and grabbed her by her hair – Dolores Rosehearts, what do you think you are doing here?! Wearing such a masculine outfit… What do you think you are, one of those butches?!
Suddenly, she pulled him to the corner of the room, when he couldn’t even understand what happened or why she was even there. However, he knew that when she was unhappy, she tended to have more strength than usual.
And Sevens, if she was already strict with the daughter she believed she had, Riddle was doomed.
The whole time, Riddle was ready to get hurt and ready to not resist, to listen silently as she shouted about being disgusted, because if he said anything, it would be worse.
He was strong his whole life, he could do this once more, couldn’t he?
But now, the feeling was different. He met happiness, he met acceptance, and met love. How could he ever accept things as they were before now that he knew it could be different?
However, the poor soul was useless and incapable of doing anything against his mother, because no matter how much he got better, it was pointless to try to change her, because she never listened and will never do.
There was no escape for him.
She pushed him to the ground in the middle of the storm, grabbed him by his white shirt and ripped it off, accidentally scratching him with her long red nails.
Riddle wasn’t even sure about what she said later. He could remember a few lost words like “Disgusting”, “Freak”, and others, but there were no complete sentences. His mother just kept throwing insults at him non stop, and when he even thought about saying anything, she slapped his face.
But finally, the time she left him alone has come. He was trembling with the cold and his body had some wounds, but he stayed there.
There was no way people would let him go inside with this appearance, at a fancy party. And even if they did, there was still Idia.
Idia was there, and he would see Riddle at his worst state. He would know what he was and would act differently towards him, and they would no longer have their little moments of peace where they could enjoy each other's company.
His freedom would be gone permanently.
However, he didn't want to be there all alone. He wanted a warm place to sleep, far away from his mother, where Idia would be unaware about him and they could still be together until Riddle told him. He wanted to eat a strawberry tart made by Trey, which he could eat without worrying about gaining weight nor his mother finding out. He wanted to visit Chen'nya at RSA too. He wanted to see the freshmen growing up until they became amazing mages. He wanted to be the Queen of Hearts of Heartslyabul and not Dolores.
But everytime he looked in the mirror, he saw her reflection too. No matter how much he changed, they had the same face, after all. So whenever he looks at himself in the mirror, he hesitates. No matter the topic, he always starts to think about his mother.
He recognized her wise teachings, because it taught Riddle to be a disciplined and determined man. However, she frightened him so badly.
The tears formed slowly in his eyes when he saw his reflection in the rain. So he stayed there, alone, until Idia Shroud came.
– I am ashamed, honestly. Each time I think I am getting over it, something happens that makes me think the opposite. – he explained, as his voice deepened – Now, it was only my hesitance and paranoia. Tomorrow, I could be hurting someone… again.
Riddle stopped talking, and took a deep breath. It was good to get things out of his chest, however, those things were so ugly. After that, it was not even worthy for Idia to stay, because who would want such an ugly rose planted in their garden?
But he couldn’t run from it forever, he was aware. So if it had to happen, if Idia couldn’t love his ugly parts too, then, it would be better if it was now.
The red haired boy mustered the courage to look at Idia's yellow eyes, to face whatever the future had prepared for them, but when he did, Idia's eyes were closed. His arms were also opened, but not completely, and he was biting his own blue lips.
– Idia, what are you doing?
– It was supposed to be a hug… – he muttered in response, but then lowered his arms and stood up – Forget it!
– Alright… – Riddle deeply breathed and tried to stand up as well, using Idia's sleeves as a support – We should go home now… I know you would’ve achieved the two hours there if it wasn't for me, so…
– I couldn’t care less about two stupid hours inside this shitty place! – Idia complaint, holding Riddle's hand to lead him to the door – Let's get to the mirror, go back to NRC and… – he stopped talking, and took a step back, astonished.
– What is the matter?
– They locked us outside…
– What?! – Riddle shouted, raising his tone for the first time that night, as he walked to the door and tried to pull and push it. When he saw it wouldn’t open, he sighted, took the umbrella from Idia's free hand, and walked in the opposite direction – Come. We will take any public transportation available near here.
– Uh?! We can just, y'know, break into the house!
– If they locked us outside, then the windows are locked too. Millionaires usually have defense against magic as well, so using it to go inside is also out of question. – Riddle explained, as he waited for Idia to walk along with him – Besides, I don't want to commit any crime nor want you to. Come with me.
Idia looked like he was still gonna try to argue, however, he just followed Riddle as they walked as far as they could from this mansion.
The streets around were not so unfamiliar to Riddle, since the event was still in the Kingdom Of Roses. They all had the same architecture as the street where his house was located, so it was easy to tell where they should go to find a train station.
According to the plaques around, they were somewhere in the north of the Kingdom Of Roses, near Ace Trappola's homeland. So all they had to do was to take a train to the littoral, and then get into a boat back to Sage Island.
The Station was nearly empty at this time of the night, and the only few people the Duo could see was each other, a drunk and homeless man sleeping on the bench, a group of young adults smoking at the opposite platform, and a beastwoman on her phone. There was also a street dog walking around, looking for food.
According to the golden clock in the wall, the train would be there in less than five minutes, so Riddle didn't even bother to sit, unlike Idia.
The queen kept staring at the clock as he adjusted his red bloody coat, to protect himself against the wind. Since there was a roof above them, he didn't have to worry about the umbrella anymore, so Idia took it and closed it, while Riddle kept checking on the hour.
But then, he noticed it wasn't moving.
– Idia, what time is it?
– Let me see… – he muttered, grabbing his cellphone in his pocket – 23:07.
– So the clock is broken… Sevens… – Riddle deep breathed, sitting next to Idia.
When he looked at the clock, it indicated it was 22:56 o'clock. The trains at the Kingdom Of Roses passed at each 30 minutes, so the next should’ve been nearby, if only the clock was correct.
Taking the correct time into consideration, the wait would be longer than expected before.
After he sat, Idia touched his shoulder a few times. When he looked, he found the fire hair boy offering him one side of his headphone. At first, Riddle thought about declining to save their battery, but he knew he brought a charger with him, so they would have no trouble.
Riddle took his side of the headphone and adjusted it on his left ear, before leaning into Idia's shoulder to see what music was he putting. Then, Idia stopped and looked at the boy, as if he was saying “do you want to choose?”, while offering the cellphone, which Riddle accepted, choosing “João e Maria” by Chico Buarque.
Besides the moments he was with Idia, he rarely listened to songs, so it was hard choosing something he enjoyed. However, this calm rhythm sung in any language, usually portugueses, was something that, sometimes, he heard from the radio and liked.
That was what he needed, this serenity. He needed peace now.
The silence that previously filled the station was now swapped with incomprehensible but beautiful words, like it usually was, even with no songs.
None of them was a telepath, though, they understood this incomprehensible silence as if it was their language, even if it all began with Riddle trying to teach Idia how to communicate.
And the lines between this silence, their eyes and their gestures, said everything was fine. During the next 20 minutes, they stayed like this, waiting for the train, until it finally came.
They entered there, and sat on the first seat for two available at the end of the wagon.
– I think that we will reach the littoral by 1 o'clock… So if we get the first boat, we will reach Sage Island approximately at… 4 o'clock… maybe 5… – Riddle said, yawning – after that, we will be able to reach NRC by 6 o'clock, and we will have enough time to prepare ourselves for class at 8…
– The heck I am going to class after this shit!
– You should, it’s a matter of discipline…and self improvement in the academic field… ah…
– I shouldn't, and nor should you. – Idia stated, crossing his legs and his arms – You are beaten up, dude. There ain't no way you will be alright enough to go to class after tonight.
– I am fine enough to attend the classes as usual…
– Oh yeah, fr, if you want to get a burnout due to the lack of sleep and excessive workload because you can’t recognize where your bounds are… Btw, you are fucked at Vargas classes taking this wounds into account, since if you take the binding off, it will bleed. But, well… – Idia finished his sentences, gesturing with his right hand to show he was being ironic – You are fine enough.
Riddle shutted up. It's not like he didn't know how to argue with that, but he had no strength for that, since he was physically and mentally exhausted, so he was unable to think about anything straight. It seemed better to just accept being absent, after all, it was the only time he would be doing it since he joined NRC. It couldn’t be a big deal.
Idia noticed Riddle gave up, so he stopped talking as well, leaning his head onto Riddle's shoulder. It was weird how he felt comfortable enough to lean onto someone to rest, and how he leaned against him too.
Unspoken words looked clear instead of unknown and agonizing, as they usually are with other people. This new dialect was built with a mutual understanding that none of them knew when it started, but both accepted, even Riddle, who had thorns protecting his heart, or Idia, who was trying these feelings for the first time.
Even so, even if he knew Riddle understood him, Idia still had things he wanted to say to him. Things that he said all the time in his head, and the queen always said it back, but that he actually wanted to feel slipping through his lips.
– Riddle. – Idia called, almost whispering, but he had no answer. When he looked at him, he saw he was asleep.
It would happen sooner or later, since he had been acting softerly and yawning for a while now. There was no doubt he was tired, probably because he had the tendency of sleeping earlier due to his schedule. Of course, they walked a long distance from the mansion to the station, but even if they stayed there, soon, Riddle would get tired.
He could say it later, there was no hurry. They had time, didn't they? They had time to speak about many things, and that included how they felt.
His eyes got stuck on Riddle's face, analyzing his round and red cheeks, which now were also red due to the slaps he received from his mother.
As he stared, suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed the younger one's cheeks. But they were clearly not human, they were made of blot, and Idia couldn’t even see where they were coming from. And soon, there were not only two hands, there were hands all over Riddle's body: caressing his neck, tapping his mouth, around his waist, his shoulders, his legs, but two hands always stayed at his cheeks, holding them affectionately.
None of the hands looked like they would be harmful, but the idea of blot holding onto Riddle was desperating. He knew he should try to wake Riddle up or try to make the hands let go of him…
Yet, Idia was paralyzed. There was nothing physical holding him back, but he really couldn’t move a muscle from where he was. Not even his eyes could stop looking as the hands held Riddle.
It stayed like this for a while, and more blot hands kept coming, until all Idia could see was Riddle's closed eyes, sleeping peacefully as he was kept captive by them.
It couldn’t stay like this, and Idia knew that, so he tried saying anything that came to his mind, but no words left his mouth, and nothing was waking Riddle moved, until he decided to say:
– I love you!
Those were the only words that actually came out loud from his mouth, and the only words that opened Riddle's eyes again. How happy was Idia to finally see those pretty gray eyes!
Until the hands squeezed Riddle Rosehearts and his eyes contorted in agony as he felt his body being crushed.
And where Riddle used to be, there were only petals of roses.
Petals that appeared to be in Idia Shroud's hands.
“Did I do it?” Idia asked himself as he saw the proof of the crime slipping through his fingers.
He knew he could move again the moment he felt himself shaking and his breath getting faster, as if his heart would jump from his chest and leave a hole behind so he bleed until he was in the deeps of the underworld, stuck with all the lost and forgotten souls as he grieved about his life with them.
He was panicking, drowning into the hell of his own guilt and fear.
But that never happened before.
When he opened his eyes, he was being bathed by the sunlight and the sight of a blue and infinite sea.
– Good morning, Idia – Riddle's gentle voice said from behind – You slept for quite a long time…
– Eh?! – made Idia, standing up and checking on his own hands. No roses.
Then, he turned himself to face the Rosehearts, and saw him sitting with his legs crossed on a Styrofoam box, alive and well, with his usual gaze.
It was only a cruel nightmare.
– “Eh”, what? By the way, are you hungry? I bought some snacks on the way from the station to the port where we took the boat, but I ate too much at the party already.
– Oh, sure… – Idia accepted, walking to Riddle and sitting on the floor, next to the box.
The Rosehearts offered the porcupine bag to him, and Idia opened it, encountering a pot of strawberries, a bottle of water, a bottle of tea that was probably Riddle's, a few brigadeiros, and a can of energetic drink with a post-it stuck on it saying “Don't drink everything at once!”.
Idia grabbed the can, removed the post-it and began to drink it, but stopped when the drink was at its half.
Honestly, he didn't care about drinking everything, even if he saw many news articles about energetic drinks being dangerous and stuff like that.
But Riddle was bothering to care for him, and he had been doing that for a long time now, ever since VDC. Besides, they were at the train station before, and now they were at the boat, but Idia didn't wake up. It could only mean Riddle took him there caring to keep him asleep for as long as he could, even if he was probably tired too.
The least he could do was obeying when he said “Don’t drink everything at once!”.
Then, he grabbed a brigadeiro, a small candy made with chocolate, and ate it. That was his breakfast.
Both knew they couldn’t eat too much in the sea, since they could get motion sick. However, Idia was too weak on this aspect, so even if he ate almost nothing, he could feel himself getting numb.
– Are you feeling ill? – Riddle asked, concerned.
– I am good… Did you sleep? – Idia asked in response.
– A little… Enough, I'd say. Was the food I bought good? – he questioned.
– Yes. Are your wounds still hurting you?
– They will stay like this for a while, though you don't need to worry about me…
– Of course I do, dammit! You were spanked and yet you still manage to be the one taking care of me… Let me do something for you, just for once… – suddenly, Idia's throat felt like it was knotting, stopping him from breathing. His vision felt so blurry, and his cheeks were wet with his tears.
That was the same feeling of fear he had at VDC, the same feeling of incompetence and inability he had when he felt like he could do nothing at all. In fact, he could be even making things worse for Riddle.
If he hadn't brought Riddle to this stupid event, he wouldn’t have been hitten so violently by his mom. He would be sleeping peacefully at Heartslyabul, preparing himself to wake up and study as the honored student he is, being an example for everyone around him. Everything would be as it was supposed to be.
But Idia had to be an idiot and bring him there, even if he didn't know what would happen, he still had to rely on Riddle again.
And now, he broke down in the middle of a common conversation. What an improvement he had! He really wasted Riddle's time.
Yet, Riddle took Idia's cheeks into his hands, wiping away his tears with his thumbs.
– Okay, let’s breathe a little? Follow my lead… – he said, gently, and demonstrated a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling the air slowly. But Idia didn't try to copy him, and instead, he said:
– Y-yer… having to do this again… when I was sup-supposed… to get better… like back then… at the speech… – he made a pause, moving his trembling hands to grab his own hair – A…ain't no way I deserved all the effort… all the time you've spent…
Idia couldn't finish his sentence, and only began to sob.
For a few moments, Riddle allowed. It would make Idia no good to hold everything back, so if he cried, maybe he would feel better later. Maybe a weight could be lifted from his chest. Though, Riddle didn't know either, and perhaps he was making things worse. But he wanted to help Idia in all the ways he could.
The queen moved his own hands to Idia's, not trying to pull them away from his hair, but only to give them some warmth and maybe confort. When Idia's strength against his hair lowered, it was when Riddle took them away from his head, but kept holding them carefully, caressing the top of his hands with his thumbs.
He didn't try to say anything. Perhaps talking about the topic could trigger Idia again, so Riddle tried only to stay there until he was okay, and provide anything Idia needed that he could reach.
Soon, Riddle could see it was working, since he was not shaking that much now. He was getting calmer, slowly, but he was.
– Do you want to try breathing now? – Riddle asked, not letting go of Idia's hands, but also not trying to make eye contact, which could make Idia uncomfortable. He nodded, and then Riddle did the same movement as before, trying to show Idia how to take a deep breath.
This time, he did the same, and then, looked at Riddle's eyes, as if he was saying “I am better, don't mind me”.
– Great… – Riddle muttered, trying to give him any reassurance he could.
Besides telling himself before that he shouldn't try talking about it unless Idia wanted to, as a way to try not to trigger him, he still felt like there were things that needed to be said, to avoid other misunderstandings in the near future. If Idia felt bad again, he could help him to deal with that once more, and then he would stop talking for good.
– All the effort and time I spend with you is always a pleasure to me… It doesn't matter whether you are getting better or not, you are never a waste… I will do everything again and again if I need to if that makes you feel good, alright?
Idia didn't answer. It was almost as if he looked frightened by the affection Riddle showed. And to be honest, Riddle felt the same, yet that was a risk he was willing to take, even if that meant he would be hurt.
But Idia's fear was not to be hurt: his fear was hurting him, like in his nightmare, when he should've stayed quiet in order to protect the Rosehearts. Even if it was just a dream, there was definitely more to it, and this “more” was something he did not want for Riddle.
Riddle, as he saw Idia's fear in his yellow eyes, let go of his hands. It was comprehensible for both of them to fear, to try to avoid the pain they could feel and cause. So, both could respect each other's boundaries until, and if, they were ready to speak about it out loud.
Soon, the boat arrived at the Sage Island, and they walked to Night Raven College in less than an hour, in absolute silence, except for the sound of their own footsteps on the ground and some leaves floating with the wind.
Their paths were separated when they got to the corridor near the infirmary, where Riddle would stop to take proper care of his wounds while Idia went back to his room, where he is until now, recovering from all the stress he has been through with Riddle.
“Riddle Rosehearts…” he kept thinking on loop.
He didn't choose to be called a Rosehearts, in fact, maybe he even chose to change in the future, due to the painful memories his surname linked him to. However, he would be lying if he said the name didn't match him.
But he was protecting his heart too, and not only through thorns around his rose heart, no, the thorns were already gone a while ago. But every look he gave Idia seemed to be a different riddle to decipher. And Riddle was a name he chose to have. A way of protecting himself without having to scratch others with the thorns.
Idia also had something similar. A shroud, or a handkerchief, covering his face, like the deceased in the Island of Woe are usually covered. It was better to keep it all to oneself with the shroud so he could read no riddles, then the boy's rose heart would not be smashed.
– Damn it, I should've heard him and not drank that much Monster, I am going nuts for real now… – Idia muttered to himself as he reached for his phone to change the music to Big Thief's “Incomprehensible”.