Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The sunlight left a tangible warmth upon his skin, the very reason behind the gentle shimmer of his silky skin. It was as if he had been sitting for a long while on the grass beneath a relatively small tree, whose thin branches couldn’t shield his whole body from the sun’s fierce rays. That sunlight, burning his skin, also scattered a delicate sparkle into the air around him, making the entire small, quiet park shimmer through his amber gaze… It was beautiful.

Even though his eyes ached and squinted under the bright light, Yeonjun had to admit this curse was, in a way, also a blessing… Even if his hands burned and later he had to endure the unbearable itch and sting, the thought that he could drown in the beauty of this air and space was precious… After all, Yeonjun was a simple man. He enjoyed the touch of leaves, flowers, and branches, the cool, gentle breeze brushing over every inch of his body, the soft songs of little birds… much more than losing himself in the crowd and noise of strangers.

A short, warm laugh broke the quiet air, a sound that vanished into the warm stillness of the afternoon’s embrace… These small moments were what confronted Yeonjun with the pulse of passing time. The Yeonjun of the past never saw beauty, like a little lonely boy lost deep in the dark maze of his mind, making no effort to escape.

Perhaps growing up does this to you… it steals away childish habits and forces you to accept things as they are, not as they should be, nor as you wish them to be… Every moment crushing his heart in his fist, he’d only offer a forced, fake smile, whispering, “Forget it. Just deal with it.” His family never taught him to fight; they told him to be silent and accept whatever came his way. Fighting fate was meaningless, empty. Yet ten years ago, Yeonjun briefly refused to yield to that bitterness. He fought, didn’t fake smiles, and well… in the end, everything went back to how it was before. Maybe because Yeonjun wasn’t meant for such a life… only drowning in childish regrets and longing. :)

With amber eyes reflecting the vivid hues of the afternoon world, Yeonjun sat alone… lost in his book, savoring the cool breeze and the soft bird songs with delight…

That moment felt like a blink, yet it was full of depth and refuge for a man like Yeonjun, who preferred simplicity to the chaos and noise around him… Once a boy lost in the shadows of his dark mind, now Yeonjun embraced the raw beauty of the world—even if it burned him, even if it forced him to face his flaws—with all his being…

Because it was his only way to survive...

A soft sigh escaped his lips as he closed the book he’d held gently these days, pulling himself slowly upright, trying not to pay special attention to the bolded phrase on the page: “ Fate is a wild, untamed wind… it arrives unannounced, like the face of a long-lost friend emerging through the dust of faded memories… in moments that scream nothing but unexpected… ”

He shook his clothes, brushing off whatever clung to them to appear acceptable—the way he always had to be, the way he’d been all these ten years.

Fate held no special meaning for Yeonjun… to him, it seemed like fate had an endless desire to destroy every bit of beauty in his pitiful life.

His gaze drifted around… stretching his stiff body, he brushed a stray copper hair away from his eye. When he pulled his phone from the pocket of his loose jeans to check the time, he knew that when he was alone, reading or freeing himself from the fatigue and chaos of work and conversations by exercising, he lost all sense of time…

The phone screen showed 11:45 a.m. He locked it and decided to walk toward the nearby cafe, reasoning that wasting one more hour wouldn’t hurt… After all, today was his day off, and even Yeonjun had days when he wanted to escape work and just give his mind and body some peace. Ordering a cold drink was a unique way to do that… Perhaps, if he was lucky, he could find a quiet corner of that large café and continue reading his book while sipping his drink.

Pushing open the glass door, the café’s quiet emptiness pulled a subconscious smile across Yeonjun’s lips. His strange addiction to places free from crowds was sometimes unbearable… Anyone who realized Yeonjun was a solitary bird would question his choice to become a lawyer. Yeonjun’s only reply was that he could do his job perfectly fine, thank you very much. He didn’t need meaningless advice or others’ opinions. Though he was never rude, anyone has dark, uncontrollable thoughts, right? Yeonjun was no exception.

The truth was, he had no problem connecting with people… it was just that he found no spark in doing so unless necessary. From childhood, he was never eager to expand his social circle… He always found a way to escape parties or places crowded with people, distracting himself with a storybook or a little toy… Having many friends meant investing time and feelings in each of them, something Yeonjun never had. One, he could never stand being in the middle of conversations; two, his family had taught him to focus on his goals first, then on fun and friendship… This stayed with Yeonjun, except for one rebellious moment when he ignored his mother’s words.

He sat on a chair by a relatively small table—specifically choosing a spot two tables away from the window so the sunlight wouldn’t overwhelm him—and placed his book on the table. Soon, a familiar woman approached, carrying a tablet in one hand…

“Oh… look who’s here,” she said with a teasing tone. Yeonjun’s brows furrowed at the sound. “Mr. Hardworking finally decided to take a day off?”

He looked up, his smile genuine this time. “Hello, Sooyoung noona. I’m fine… And you?”

Sooyoung chuckled softly. “I rest every weekend… what are you talking about?”

“You work all week so much that one day off doesn’t seem enough…” she said, hand on her hip. Her face showed the temporary confusion of seeing Yeonjun’s exhaustion just by looking at him. But Yeonjun wasn’t tired… and he didn’t understand why others insisted he needed longer rest. Yeonjun enjoyed his work… somewhat. The only problem was his cold, dry expression… he didn’t know he had to show happiness to actually be happy.

Feeling her intense gaze, Yeonjun lowered his head. “But you’re still handsome… I guess that’s good genetics, right?”

His ears flushed red with warmth. “Noona, what are you talking about?”

She reached out and tapped his sturdy shoulder gently a few times. “No need to be shy,Yeonjun-ah. As your childhood friend, it’s my duty to remind you how flawless you look, so you don’t get fooled by girls out there, right?”

Catching the curious looks of other customers, Yeonjun knew Sooyoung was used to speaking loudly, and he wasn’t someone who could handle much attention… Oh God, their gazes pierced him like needles from this distance and unsettled him.

“Thanks a lot, Noona, but no need to shout… don’t you think?” His eyes pleaded toward the tall Sooyoung.

Luckily, mercy came sooner than expected in Sooyoung’s warm smile. “Okay, okay… I always forget how shy you are… so, what would you like me to get you?”

“One caramel iced macchiato, please.” His voice carried a hint of kindness.

Sooyoung nodded and tapped her tablet a few times as if to write something. After she left, Yeonjun breathed a sigh of relief. He spent the whole week with many people; now, wanting to drown in his own quiet solitude felt only fair.

When his steps brought him back to his office, everything else stayed behind those doors, and Yeonjun played the role of a competent lawyer well. His shyness and introversion had no place at work… He had to carry himself with dignity and let confidence ooze from every move and word. Yeonjun was very good at acting… deceiving people… perhaps that’s why he made it this far in ten years, refusing to let the past return to shatter everything.

He was even deceiving himself, wasn’t he? That was the painful part of life… if you want to achieve your goals, you have to put your feelings aside… if you want to be your family’s pride… childish things like dreams, emotions, and love have no place in your life.

Running a hand over his face, he leaned back on his chair and tried to silence his thoughts… to separate himself from the world outside, at least for a short time, until his drink arrived. The cafe’s atmosphere was easy to describe… a spacious shop holding more than seven five-person tables, with stairs leading to an upper floor tucked in a corner. The space was tinted with soft music, and the cool breeze allowed Yeonjun to breathe freely.

His fingers brushed the cover of a book he’d bought a few days ago from a random library he’d stumbled upon, his pupils dancing over the embossed black letters that caught his attention.

‘The Meaning Of Life.’

Yeonjun didn’t know. Perhaps it was odd for a 28-year-old, living independently, not to know the meaning of said life. His life seemed stuck in repetition… Ten years ago, when he decided to abandon his foolish desires and pursue what was “best” for him, everything lost its color and meaning. Life for Yeonjun was breathing and struggling to do his best… but now, having bought and decided to read this book, Yeonjun had to admit he felt tired. Repetition was exhausting..

Caught between his thoughts, the cafe door opened and closed, filling the space with sounds, but Yeonjun was so immersed in his mind he pushed the noises away. It could be someone he had met before, their familiar voice quietly pulling him out of himself. Or maybe just a faint resemblance…

Ignoring the surroundings, though wanting to turn the page and keep reading, the weight of those few minutes ago’s words pressed heavily on his being. Could he believe in such miracles? Was he worthy of such change? Could fate ever turn the way he wished, even once, allowing him to make up for a past he always ran from? Was he brave enough for such change?

“Yeonjun?”

The thread of his thoughts snapped as a familiar voice stepped into the café.

“Choi Yeonjun???”

When his eyes met the soft, confident face calling out to him, Yeonjun felt everything fade into an eerie silence and haze… sounds muted… people’s movements dimmed… The very reason his heart sometimes stabbed with sharp pain flashed in his eyes… He recognized that face. From a distant past… or rather, those dusty memories he tried to keep untouched; recalling some things never came without consequences.

Yeonjun felt the numbness creep into the muscles of his mouth, stunned silent. An old friend? A former love? It didn’t matter what name he gave it, because in time, even the dearest of friends lose their shape… fading from something sacred into a familiar stranger you once had the chance to know.

He felt his mouth muscles freeze in shock. After a long moment locked in each other’s gaze, Yeonjun’s tongue rolled inside his mouth, and with a voice barely audible even to himself, he spoke: “Kai…?”

The name weighed heavy on his tongue… a strange feeling after years of avoiding its utterance, and another name attached to it… After so long, he had even forgotten what it felt like to call out ‘Kai.’

Kai, who now, unlike ten years ago, wore shorter hair styled upward and back, the sharp ends brushing the tops of his ears.

His face had lost all its childish fragility and had become that of a strong man… a man who shone like a moon amidst small, insignificant stars…

A body that seemed the boundary between power and calm…

The work of years lived…

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If Yeonjun were compelled to describe this fleeting moment into a single word, it would be strange… odd. The space between him and Kai was neither a suffocating weight nor a tender embrace; pleaKait would be too soft a brushstroke for its essence. Yet it was not so unbearable that Yeonjun would shrink into himself… eyes downcast, seeking the faintest crack in the moment to slip away like a shadow. No… He held the reins of his composure. He was no longer the trembling child of his past… 

A stolen glance at Kai’s serene, almost sculpted face revealed a truth, that  a single murmur of unease from Yeonjun, and Kai would retreat with the grace of a gentleman woven from the dreams of Seoul’s wandering hearts. But deep within, Yeonjun yearned to linger… even as his insides churned like a storm-tossed sea, and the allure of the iced caramel macchiato cradled between his palms on the table dissolved into nothingness.

Sooyoung’s gaze, when she delivered his order, was a heavy veil of curiosity, piercing the quiet like a distant star. Even now, Yeonjun could feel its weight, a silent scrutiny pressing against him from across the room. A weary sigh slipped from his lips, a soft rebellion against the moment, and when Kai’s sharp, almond eyes widened ever so slightly, Yeonjun knew he must tether his wandering emotions. He summoned a smile for reassurance, praying it bloomed naturally, not as the brittle facade he feared.. a mask of forced warmth.

“The last thing I expected…” Kai’s voice unfurled like a memory, rich with the same warmth that once startled Yeonjun, a melody laced with charm that disarmed him every time. It was as if Kai crafted each syllable to brush against Yeonjun’s ears like a fleeting zephyr. Yet now, it bore the weight of maturity, no longer the voice of the starry-eyed eighteen-year-old whose gaze held constellations. “…was seeing you… here.”

As his words settled, Kai’s eyes drifted to the iced Americano before him… a crystalline pool reflecting the light. He lifted a hand, his fingers tracing a delicate dance across the plastic’s surface… His lips, softly pressed, curved into the faintest crescent, as if Yeonjun’s presence here, in this quiet corner of the world, was a tender surprise worthy of a smile.

A sudden flush of warmth painted Yeonjun’s face at the thought, and he cleared his throat, a hurried attempt to pull himself together. His hand slipped beneath the table, resting on his knee, a silent plea that the gesture evaded Kai’s razor-sharp perception. Kai, who always noticed the smallest flickers of detail… as if he poured the entirety of his soul into observing Yeonjun, for whom breathing in unfamiliar realms felt like a quiet crucifixion.

Time had carved a vast chasm between them. Perhaps Kai’s warmth was merely the echo of encountering a fragment of his past, a polite nod to nostalgia. Perhaps…

He needed to speak, not sit frozen… a mute statue… his gaze skittering to every corner but the face of his old friend. “It’s been a long time…” Yeonjun chose these words as his shield, the safest harbor he could find. Relief flooded him, a silent sob, that his voice held steady, unmarred by the quaking in his hands. For calm was a distant stranger to him now. “Do you come here often?”

“Not really… just when it’s on our way.” Yeonjun tried not to let the word our snag in his heart, a thorn of implication. That Kai might speak of visiting with another was no concern of his, and to dwell on it was a fruitless spiral.

When his gaze returned, Kai was watching him… unwavering, cool as a winter stream, serene… and stripped of the fire that once defined him. Yeonjun could no longer trace the vibrant, hopeful boy whose starlit eyes wove dreams for three. A dream Yeonjun had shattered with his own trembling hands… a dream where he no longer belonged.

“And you?” Kai asked, his lips brushing the rim of his drink.

Yeonjun’s brows arched in surprise. “Me?” His forgetfulness was an untamed tide.

Kai’s soft chuckle was a ripple of light. “Do you come here often?” His lips curved in that achingly familiar arc, etched deep in Yeonjun’s memories, revealing even teeth as the corners of his eyes crinkled for a fleeting moment. Yeonjun wondered if he deserved to witness smile on those lips… lips that last time, called his name in disbelief and despair… despair he had caused.

“Mostly on weekends… Work steals the mornings I’d spend savoring a good drink.” His words were cautious, spun from simplicity, carrying no hidden depths.

Kai let out a playful hiss, a theatrical flourish. “Adult life is just that dull, isn’t it?”

Yeonjun couldn’t veil his amusement, a laugh spilling free. “Well… I suppose I’m a regular here.”

Kai leaned back, his frame sinking into the chair, murmuring a soft, “Hmm… nice,” like a secret shared with the air.

At last, Yeonjun lifted his drink, the cool glass a fleeting balm, hoping to soothe the taut strings of his nerves. Old habits clung like ivy… but what lingered, bitter and sharp on his tongue, sliding down his throat, was Kai’s distance. The one who had once been his closest confidant now stood as a stranger, his presence emptying Yeonjun’s mind of words and flooding his veins with quiet panic. It was never like this before; Kai had been the flame that burned away Yeonjun’s gnawing unease.

Perhaps he should keep the conversation alive… don a mask, play the part of a Yeonjun untouched by Kai’s memories, a stranger to the man named Huening Kai… his age, now a star in his own right. Yeonjun didn’t know how to weave a simple conversation with the Huening Kai he hadn’t faced in a decade… back when they were youths who found dreaming easier than facing the world’s sharp edges.

“How have you been, Kai?” Yeonjun asked, striving not to linger on how foolish, abrupt, and childlike it sounded, a cry of his own unease. But Kai merely leaned forward, elbows resting on the table, his muscles drawing Yeonjun’s gaze like a moth to flame.

With the question, the taut lines of Kai’s broad shoulders softened, tension melting like frost under dawn’s touch. “Things are going well… I’m doing fine.” He swirled his drink, eyes tracing the dance of ice. “Honestly, I’m great right now.”

“That’s really good to hear… ” Yeonjun confessed, his nod was a quiet affirmation.

Kai’s gaze settled once more on his face, steady as a lighthouse. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself, Yeonjun?”

“What do you want to hear?” He wished his voice could mirror Kai’s, firm and unyielding. “As you know, my life’s a bit… muted.”

Kai sipped again, his eyes never straying… cool, as heavy as stone. “Tell me about your work… What’s it like, being a lawyer?”

Yeonjun’s brows leapt in surprise. “How do you know about my job?”

Kai’s smirk was a flicker of mischief, his aura cloaked in playful mystery, leaving Yeonjun adrift. He wasn’t ready for this Kai… this towering, matured figure. “You told me once how your family spoke of you becoming a lawyer. You know my memory’s sharp.” His face held no trace of sentiment as he spoke. It seemed Yeonjun alone wrestled with the specter of their past. Kai was untroubled… as if his words softly hummed, I remember everything, Yeonjun. Or perhaps Yeonjun was weaving thorns from air.

“Besides… Yeonjun-ah, I see your mother sometimes. She always speaks of her lawyer son. She seems so proud.”

Of course she was proud… Yeonjun had molded himself into the son his family envisioned, no matter the shards it cost him :)

The smile he forced was so hollow it churned his stomach, a sour tide rising to his throat. “Is that so? Things are good, Kai. Better than I dreamed… It pays well, and I help people along the way.”

Kai’s expression shifted, a shadow of strange bitterness crossing his features. Yeonjun ached to ask why.

“I’m glad you find joy in your work. Your mom mentioned you opened your own office.” Yeonjun’s gaze sharpened with suspicion.

“When did you exactly see my mother?”

“Does it matter?” Kai sidestepped, a deft turn.

Yeonjun sighed, a soft surrender. “That was a year ago… maybe a year and a half. I’m still a fledgling, you could say.”

“A fledgling who’s soaring…” Kai corrected, echoing the old habit of nudging Yeonjun to cherish his worth. Some threads of the past refused to fray, even after a decade’s divide.

Embarrassed, Yeonjun pressed a hand to his face, the other waving dismissively. “No need to exaggerate…” His words danced with a smile. “I’m not that impressive yet.”

Kai drained the last of his iced Americano, scoffing lightly. “You’re trying, aren’t you? And it’s no exaggeration… you were always the best at everything you did. I know you still are.”

A tempest of emotions swirled within Yeonjun, vivid and untamed… sparked by Kai’s simple words, now softening his mind like wax under flame. Perhaps he was too fragile, and Kai meant nothing profound… but the thought that Kai might have held him in memory all these years set his heart alight with a child’s fervor.

So, he rubbed the back of his neck, eyes falling to the table. “Oh, thank you.” Flustered, he added, “It takes one to know one.”

Kai shrugged, a casual lift of his shoulders. “I don’t think so… I’m only great when I’m chasing what I love.” He pointed at Yeonjun, a spark in his gesture. “But you… you always did shine, even in things you didn’t like. That always captivated me.”

Yeonjun tried to sidestep the veiled sting in Kai’s words… He did love his work… Helping others, pleasing his family… it was enough… perhaps.

As he opened his mouth to offer another thank you for Kai’s cascade of words, Kai raised a hand, and Yeonjun swallowed his voice. “Please, don’t thank me. Just… accept it, yeah?” His eyes flicked to the watch encircling his wrist, a frown etching his brow. “I should probably get going…”

“Oh, of course.” Yeonjun rose with Kai, their movements a quiet duet. “I should be off too…”

Kai’s smile was a fleeting star, his gaze sweeping the room… Yeonjun carved the moment into his soul’s tapestry. This was a scene he might never see again… yet the book’s words from that morning Kaig in his mind: “Fate is a wild, untamed wind… it arrives unannounced… like the face of a long-lost friend emerging through the dust of faded memories, in moments that scream nothing but unexpected… Perhaps it’s a second chance… to rewrite what was left undone, to begin again where the ending never belonged, to prove that, truly, it is never too late.”

He longed for a world as radiant and wistful as those words… where he could save Kai’s number in his phone and weave their past anew each weekend. But Yeonjun’s world was no such dreamscape… and Kai was no longer the boy of ten years ago. This wasn’t fate… because Yeonjun’s fate had no fondness for happy endings. It was merely a chance collision… one that stirred both gratitude and a wish that he’d never crossed this cafe’s threshold if time could bend.

Seeing Kai was a bittersweet melody, both warming and wounding… It bore the fragrance of a life Yeonjun had chosen to forsake.

He yearned to summon the courage, before their paths diverged, to ask about the one he’d fought so hard not to think of… to not think of him. Kai’s presence had already shaken Yeonjun’s foundations; to shatter them further and plunge his life into months of torment was beyond imagining.

“Yeonjun?” His name, spoken again, jolted his head upward, for this time Kai’s voice was stripped of its earlier detachment… When he uttered Yeonjun’s name now, his face flickered with a shadow of uncertainty, a whisper of doubt… But Kai gathered himself so swiftly, his gaze reclaiming its steady strength, that Yeonjun thought it a mirage.

“Hmm?” he answered, knowing this was farewell, nothing for Kai to waver over.

Kai’s lips parted and closed… as if weighing each word, crafting them with care… as if what he was about to say… “We…” was a blade… for himself… and more piercingly… for Yeonjun. Yet he chose to wield it. “Soobin and I… we made it.”

Fate is a cruel, nauseating jest…!

Kai whispered Soobin as if he sensed Yeonjun’s silent struggle to voice that name, only to falter, too frail to speak it.

“We did it, Yeonjun.” Yeonjun laughed within, a hollow sound… They were together, bound as ever… even after ten years. Of course they were… the bond between Kai and Soobin was a rare, luminous thing, woven with beauty and singularity. So singular it had jolted Yeonjun from his childish dreams, reminding him there was no space for him in their constellation. They had reached their dream… together… just the two of them… the dream that once shared between three of them.

A bitter tide surged up his throat, coating his tongue like acid… searing him from within, and Yeonjun could only stand, watching himself crumble, ash by ash. Because that we belonged to Kai and Soobin… as it had in days past, it no longer held the three of them. There was no Kai, Soobin, and Yeonjun anymore because… His hands clenched into fists at his sides, trembling with a ferocity he hoped Kai didn’t see… prayed Kai missed the whitening knuckles from their desperate grip.

It was he who ran ten years ago… he who razed their tender memories and, like a coward, cast aside their dreams… their shared history.

He could still see their stunned, shattered faces, vivid as if it were yesterday… standing apart like a defeated outcast amid their laughter and playful jests, cruelly spitting, “I don’t have time for these absurd games.” He’d sown pain across Kai and Soobin’s radiant faces. It was Yeonjun who abandoned their shared dream… Yeonjun who walked away, unable to dream any longer, unable to let time slip through his fingers. Unable to bear watching Kai and Soobin, entwined in love’s embrace, kissing with a passion he could not share.

Yeonjun had been terrified… alone, and in the end, his madness triumphed. Now, all that remained was a loathsome regret, shaping every fragment of his being.

When he spoke, he prayed his voice was the steady anchor he wished it to be. “I’m happy for you, Kai. For both of you.” I wish it could’ve been the three of us, but that’s an impossible dream… “You two are meant for each other…”

He swallowed the acrid bitterness, along with I wish I could’ve been part of that ‘we’, and offered a lingering, strained smile.

Kai smiled too… more to himself… then slipped a hand into his pocket. “Alright, then… I’ll see you.” Yeonjun’s heart pulsed wildly. “We’ll meet again, right?”

If it were anyone else, Yeonjun would’ve laughed, wondering why it mattered… but this was Kai, and with Kai and Soobin, everything was different. “I hope we meet again, Kai,” he said, his voice woven with sincerity. Seeing Kai had kindled a flame in his heart, long smothered in shadow. A heart that now thrummed… pulsing life through his veins, and Yeonjun longed to see Kai again.

Then his eyes traced Kai’s strong, retreating silhouette, fading with a murmured, “I’m glad.” For the first time… Yeonjun tasted happiness… however faint… however fleeting… laced with the heavy ache of regret and all the dreams he could never claim… :)

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The room was bathed in a newborn silence, cradled by a gentle breeze that slipped through the open window, weaving through Yeonjun’s hair and leaving a tender caress upon his scalp. From beyond his office door, the soft murmur of his assistant’s voice drifted in, bidding farewell to a client. His hand rested lightly on the window’s frame, and with eyes closed, Yeonjun drew a tranquil breath. After a whirlwind week, the weekend ahead promised a rare gift… a day unburdened by tasks, his mind free from the weight of case files.

The sky was softening into dusk, the sun’s glow fading behind a veil of clouds, its golden warmth giving way to a deep, dusky blue. Gray-tinted clouds sculpted the expanse, filling his view with their quiet majesty. Across the street, cars glided past, their hum mingling with the rhythm of footsteps as people came and went, their echoes ringing softly in his ears. The world spun on, as it always did, yet Yeonjun’s thoughts lingered on a moment two weeks past… It seemed taming his wandering mind was a task too vast. From the moment he woke each morning, to the drive to his office, to the quiet pause over lunch as he waited for his cappuccino to cool, even amidst the crevices of time spent poring over cases, his thoughts drifted unbidden to Huening Kai, whose voice had warmed with the name Choi Soobin.

The only face that took shape in the quiet of his mind was Kai’s… sharp-boned, with high cheekbones and a chiseled jaw, sitting across from him, his almond eyes and their dark depths piercing into Yeonjun’s soul. Kai had grown… transformed. His broad shoulders commanded attention, his toned arms and sturdy thighs a quiet boast beneath simple black clothes. Everything about Kai was unforgettable, searing into Yeonjun’s memories like heated metal, leaving a lingering mark… It made him wonder what it would feel like to see Soobin up close. How had he changed? Had he grown as strikingly as Kai? Had time carved him into a man of quiet strength? Or did he still shine with the boundless energy of old memories, radiant enough to put the sun to shame?

It was only natural, wasn’t it? Nothing with Huening Kai and Choi Soobin was ever simple or tame. Like the first time Yeonjun met them both, learning that meeting someone’s gaze wasn’t so daunting after all… Or the second time, when he discovered the surprising thrill of landing a punch on a bastard’s face, with no one to explain to. Kai and Soobin didn’t scold him… they stood by his side, their smiles bright, and Yeonjun could feel joy… And countless other moments when he learned to live through them, lost in a dream so vivid that each breath grew heavier than the last…

A sharp car horn jolted him back, his hand dragging across his face in quiet frustration. Once again, he’d been caught thinking of those he’d long banished from his life. It had taken time… Nights curled up on his bed, muffling his sobs in his throat, but he’d done it. Life had returned to how it was meant to be. Yet now… this time, Yeonjun didn’t want to—couldn’t—be the cruel force that broke himself anew..

The chime of a text from his phone on the desk pulled him from the window’s embrace. Settling into his comfortable chair, he picked up the device and opened a message from his sister: ‘Oppa, you didn’t forget tonight, right? 8 PM, we’re waiting.. -’

Recognition bloomed across his face. Tonight was a family gathering… or whatever they called it. He exhaled with a touch of resignation and set the phone aside. It wasn’t that he didn’t cherish time with his family… quite the opposite. Yeonjun adored them. Despite their strictness, he loved them deeply… Even if, ten years ago, the fear of disappointing them had driven him to flee and abandon everything. Still, sometimes, it all felt like too much.

His mother, at every family dinner, would spend an hour urging him to meet someone, settle down, marry, and start a family. It was what mothers did, of course… but Yeonjun had no reply. He couldn’t admit he’d rather never marry, content to live alone because he couldn’t fathom romantic feelings for anyone. Then he’d have to endure his mother’s endless tears before choosing escape.

His fingers tapped lightly on his laptop’s keyboard. Love… The word echoed in his mind, trailing back to a decade ago. A bittersweet smile touched his lips. It seemed Yeonjun had left himself behind ten years prior… perhaps in the moment he lowered his gaze, ignoring the stunned, broken looks of an eighteen-year-old Kai and Soobin. He knew if his eyes locked with theirs, doubt would flood him, and his steps would falter, unable to leave them behind.

Perhaps that’s why, as he moved to shut his laptop, his fingers hesitated over the keys, curiosity gnawing at his heart and mind. After that chance encounter with Kai at the cafe, Yeonjun had returned the following week… though he told himself it was just for his usual drink and morning workout, his heart raced with quiet hope, his hands trembling with a strange anticipation. Deep down, he knew he was hoping to see Kai again…

But when the cafe came into view and his gaze swept the people lingering outside, something stilled his steps, quashing the hopeful eighteen-year-old within. His heart pounded fiercely, his hands numbing with unfamiliar nerves. Kai wasn’t alone… Standing by a wooden table outside the café, his eyes were fixed on a man lounging in a chair, idly holding a phone between long, strong fingers. A white cap shadowed his face, dark, nearly long hair spilling over it, but Yeonjun could never mistake that sharp nose or full lips.

His throat tightened as he swallowed hard. When Kai said he only came here when it was “on their way,” of course he meant with Soobin… That’s why they stood, breathtakingly radiant, just steps away, while Yeonjun could only watch… a silent observer with a heart heavy with longing and a fear that screamed to flee.

His gaze traced Soobin’s form, tempted to linger selfishly… to take in the bare arms emerging from a black t-shirt, down to his long legs. Silver chains gleamed around his neck. His hands, as ever, seemed too many, now larger, more commanding than before.

Kai was sharing something with Soobin, who nodded with faint disinterest. Then Kai’s finger slid beneath Soobin’s sharp chin, lifting it gently yet with quiet intent. He leaned closer, whispering something into Soobin’s almond eyes. Soobin’s lips curled into a smirk. His free hand rose, wrapping around Kai’s wrist near his face, sliding softly down his forearm… Their lingering gaze was so intense, Yeonjun could feel its weight from afar. A look no mere friends would share… Kai and Soobin were never meant to be just friends. They were crafted for each other.

Yeonjun’s steps retraced their path, his eyes pulling away with quiet defeat. He fled again… too cowardly to face them both. Kai’s presence warmed and steadied him, but Soobin made his heart race until thought itself slipped away.

He didn’t know what he’d face if he stepped forward and stood before them. Neither was the person they once were, and Yeonjun preferred escape over an unknown, untamed moment… It wasn’t unlikely that Soobin wouldn’t welcome him, or that his presence might steal Soobin’s ease. After all, Soobin had often said how much he despised cowards who ran from everything. Yeonjun was that coward who fled…

A bitter taste rose on his tongue :)

So when his fingers, unthinking, typed Withered Souls…, he erased it. Shutting his laptop and gathering his things, he realized little time remained until 8 PM. It was time to head to his parents’ home.

The drive was swift and easy… Yeonjun was grateful the roads were clear, sparing him a long wait in traffic. He’d even stopped to buy his mother’s favorite pastries, hoping they’d distract her enough.

Using his key — though he’d meant to return it after moving out, his mother insisted he keep it, saying it was still his home — he opened the door. Jisoo’s excited voice filled the house.

“Oppa, you’re here!” Her eager footsteps echoed, and soon her slender arms wrapped around his neck, a soft kiss brushing his cheek. Yeonjun mustered all his strength not to grimace. “Hey, don’t make that grossed-out face.”

“Hi, Jisoo-yah.” He tried to make his smile genuine, pressing the pastry box against her chest. “Why don’t you take these to Mom?”

Jisoo stepped back, took the box, and peeked inside before darting off. “Mom, Oppa got your favorite pastries!”

“Oh, my sweet, thoughtful boy.” His mother’s voice was bright with joy, and Yeonjun smiled as he slipped off his shoes and into house slippers.

His father greeted him with a brief, warm embrace, while his mother’s hug was tighter, lingering longer. “You need to visit your parents more,” she murmured by his ear. “Since you moved out, we barely see you unless Jisoo or I call…”

Yeonjun rubbed her back soothingly. “Sorry, Mom. Work leaves me exhausted, and I just go home to rest.”

An elbow nudged his arm playfully. “Hey, at least pretend you missed me too.” Jisoo pouted, arms crossed. “What’s with the cold big-brother act?”

His laugh was bright. Stepping away from his mother, he ruffled Jisoo’s chestnut hair. “Your voice is so annoying, Jisoo-yah.”

“Hey, Dad, see how he is treating me!”

“Yeonjun-ah, be kind to your sister,” his father said, chuckling.

“Dad, you’re laughing! How’s Oppa supposed to take it seriously?”

Yeonjun stepped back, helping set the table while tuning out Jisoo’s chatter. Unlike him, she brimmed with energy, a trait she’d inherited from their mother. Both loved to talk, while Yeonjun preferred to listen. He rarely had stories to share… His work and passions seemed dull to others, and the things others enjoyed… he couldn’t quite grasp.

Dinner went smoothly… The four sat around the table, each savoring their meal. But his mother, it seemed, couldn’t let him breathe easy for long.

“I saw Bom-ja’s daughter today… Nara, the one Yeonjun played with as a kid. She’s finished her studies abroad and is back.” Her gaze fixed on Yeonjun. “You should see what a fine young woman she’s become… beautiful and bright.”

Yeonjun forced a smile, poking at his food. “That’s great, Mom.”

Her face tightened, her tone gently scolding. “Don’t act so indifferent… At least go talk to her. She’s a lovely girl.. I’m sure you’d like her.”

“Don’t nag him,” his father said calmly, wiping his mouth.

“Don’t nag?” His mother rolled her eyes, indignant. “Our son’s nearing thirty. He needs to meet someone, settle down. Do you know how much I want grandchildren?”

His father remained steady. “He’s a grown man. Let him enjoy being here. He’ll marry and have kids when he’s ready. Stop pushing him.” Yeonjun shot his father a grateful glance.

“You two are the same,” his mother muttered, exasperated.

Yeonjun hoped to ease her worries… He wanted to meet someone, to live a normal life, but some things never changed. Somewhere along the way, he’d forgotten what it felt like to care deeply for another. He’d buried those feelings in the past, clawing his way to this moment.

As he helped with the dishes, the soft sigh of his sister drifted from behind him, followed by gentle, fleeting taps on his back. “I know you work so hard… but don’t forget to savor life too.” She turned, her finger tracing absent, whimsical shapes on the counter. “And don’t mind Mom’s words. I know how exhausting it is for you to connect with others… let alone navigate something as tangled as love.”

Yeonjun nodded, rinsing the last plate with care. “When you act this mature, it gives me the chills.”

His words earned him a solid punch to the shoulder. “Ugh… I’m trying to make you feel better, but you just have to ruin it, don’t you?”

He chuckled, slipping off the plastic gloves, watching Jisoo’s face bloom with mock betrayal and shock. “You’re absolutely unhinged…” Her laughter grew louder, brighter. “Oh my God… you’ve gone completely inKaie.”

Yeonjun flicked her forehead lightly. “Ow…”

“Speak to your brother properly.”

Jisoo pressed a hand to her forehead, her eyes widening to their fullest. “Wh—what?”

Cradling a clean mug, he stepped toward the simmering kettle. Jisoo might be a whirlwind of noise, but she was a sharp, caring little sister, and Yeonjun was deeply grateful for her. Still, resisting the urge to tease her felt near impossible… After all, he wasn’t entirely innocent. He liked to tuck his mischievous side into the shadows.

“Jisoo, you don’t need to worry about me… I rest enough and don’t drown myself in work.” He spoke as he plucked tea bags from the cabinet. “Weekends, I go to the park to exercise, and sometimes I stop by the cafe where Sooyoung noona works.”

That was enough. Yeonjun found his joy and was content. He didn’t need to invite someone into his solitude and pretend it made him happy. Happiness wasn’t so easily won… not for him, at least.

He poured steaming water into his mug, dropping in a tea bag, and leaned against the counter. His gaze settled on Jisoo, still cradling her forehead, one brow arched, waiting for him to continue. “Thanks for worrying about me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Don’t get me wrong… I still think you’re weird when you talk like an adult.”

“You’re hopeless, Oppa… aren’t you?”

Yeonjun only shrugged, nodding toward the steaming kettle and tea bags. “I’m going to the backyard to get some air… Why don’t you make some tea for Mom and Dad?”

“Why not do it yourself ?” Jisoo whined, her voice tinged with mock irritation.

“Because, I’m tired… So why not take care of it?”

“You don’t even look tired… Hey! Are you just going to ignore me forever?”

Unfazed, Yeonjun cradled his mug and stepped toward the small backyard. He cherished open, quiet spaces that let him breathe the fresh air… spaces that allowed his mind to wander, focusing only on the gentle brush of the breeze against his face and body.

Perhaps it would help him shake off his mother’s words, to stop wondering how long he could keep living like this… a solitary, heartbroken boy unable to feel deeply for anyone. Yeonjun believed emotions and thrills had no lasting place in his life, that people rarely stirred his quiet, predictable mind. For his heart to spark, it needed more than just beauty or kindness… someone who could stand beside him and make him feel alive.

Somewhere along the way, no one had set his heart racing or sent butterflies dancing in his chest.

He exhaled softly, crossing one leg over the other. It seemed his attempt to escape his thoughts had backfired, and now they swirled around everything he could imagine. He couldn’t control it… He’d be glad if life returned to how it should be, if he weren’t so lost and adrift.

A presence settled beside him on the bench. From the corner of his eye, he glimpsed Jisoo, mug in hand, nestled comfortably at his side. Her gaze was fixed ahead… Yeonjun made no move to break the pleaKait silence. He closed his eyes and sipped his warm tea.

Moments passed in that quiet, with only the faint hum of distant cars… until Jisoo decided silence had lingered long enough. “Hey, Oppa?”

Yeonjun curled his fingers around the porcelain mug. “Hmm?”

“Saturday night, I’m going to a club.”

“Okay. Are your friends going too?”

“No, actually… I’m going alone…” Her words were soft, punctuated by odd pauses. “But I got two tickets.”

A feeling told Yeonjun this conversation was veering toward a bittersweet end. But curiosity always won. “Why two?”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jisoo unlock her phone, searching for something. Then she held the screen before him. “I thought maybe… you might want to come.”

The image was steeped in black and crimson hues. Four familiar figures struck bold poses against a red-black backdrop, quickening Yeonjun’s pulse. Withered Souls… their name. But Yeonjun had known them all his life as Kai and Soobin.

His lips parted, words fracturing as they formed. “Jisoo, I…”

She pulled her phone back, cutting him off with a strange laugh. “Don’t worry about it… I emailed your ticket.” Her free hand brushed his arm. “It’s not mandatory… Come if you want.”

Jisoo was only three years younger… meaning she’d seen all those ten years, and even before, gathering the shattered pieces of Yeonjun that night from the corners of his room. She knew so much about him… even if he’d never spoken of them in all this time.

Yeonjun’s fingers tightened… until his knuckles paled. He felt exposed, his usually stoic face tainted by unfamiliar emotions. Still, he drew a deep breath and smiled. “Thanks, Jisoo-yah…” But I don’t know if I’m ready… I’ve run from them for ten years, and I’m still a coward… I’m afraid to face them and see no stars in their eyes for me, afraid to face that I’m just a familiar stranger to them. While to me, they’re still everything I could ever wish to have. He let the rest of his words dissolve into the backyard’s quiet.

࿇࿇࿇࿇࿇࿇

Tick..tock… tick..tock… tick..tock…

The clock’s rhythm echoed through the house. Darkness pressed against the windows, cloaking everything in shadow. The faint hum of the television filled the space, but the silence screamed louder. Yet all Yeonjun could hear was the relentless tick-tock of the clock, marking ten o’clock on Saturday night. His finger traced the rim of his glass, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

He could stay in his quiet, cozy home, safe from the world… but his efforts to distract himself, to silence the clock’s cadence, had faltered. Time’s slow crawl pressed heavily on him… each moment stretching endlessly, suddenly too significant. With every passing minute, Yeonjun felt he was losing a piece of his chance… his chance to be happy? His foot tapped a muted rhythm on the ceramic floor. Would this make him happy? Would it ruin everything? Wasn’t it too late after ten long years?

With a frustrated exhale, he downed the contents of his glass, the sweet burn of juice searing his throat.

His phone screen lit with a soft chime. Setting the glass on the coffee table, he grabbed the device and read Jisoo’s message: ‘Oppa, I arrived at the club. Just so you know.’

Minutes slipped by, Yeonjun staring at the screen, his thoughts tangled in growing disarray. Swiping down, unread emails blinked at him, and his finger tapped instinctively, letting the chaos burrow into his chest.

The link Jisoo sent led to that familiar poster, and suddenly… Yeonjun didn’t know what to do with the feeling swelling within him. His thumb grazed the image of two familiar figures, and his heart, these past weeks, seemed to have found an inexplicable love for racing; he could swear he felt its pulse in his throat.

Would they be as breathtaking on stage in reality? Curiosity devoured him from within, and Yeonjun was always weak against his eighteen-year-old self.

“Damn it!” His voice rose like a hushed murmur.

Excitement surged through his veins, his breaths quickening at the mere thought…. Perhaps that’s why he tossed his phone onto the couch and dragged himself to his closet, ready to plunge his life into an eternal inferno.

Perhaps that’s why time seemed to vanish… By the time Yeonjun, in a black tank top and an open black shirt rolled to his elbows, its unbuttoned front letting the air kiss his warm skin, reached the club that would steal his Kaiity forever…

The club’s entrance was adorned with vibrant neon lights, its name… LOTUS… blazing in bold, crimson font above the door. Everything about it stung Yeonjun’s eyes, sending a dull ache through his mind. Standing there, watching the stream of people entering, his body thrummed with a heat and thrill he hadn’t felt in years…

Security checked his ticket and allowed him inside, hesitant steps carry him through the small entrance, descending the short stairs… Inside the club, the crowd’s density stole his breath for a moment, his brows knitting in unease.

The space pulsed with a strange, vibrant energy… People in dark clothes moved like shadows through the dimness, the clink of countless accessories echoing in the air… Yeonjun averted his eyes from the tattooed skin flashing in his view, ignoring the thick atmosphere, and wove through the dense throng to a corner with a clear view of the grand stage ahead.

The stage’s glossy glass floor reflected the glowing LED strips dangling from the high, black ceiling… Everything around it, especially the stage itself, was cloaked in a faint, otherworldly mist, making Yeonjun shiver.

Especially when he felt the weight of curious, sometimes intrigued glances slithering over him like a serpent, coiling around even his clothed skin. This wasn’t something he faced regularly… The first time he’d stepped into a place like this, he hadn’t been alone… flanked by two presences that moved like warmth beside him. When Yeonjun, ever reserved, curled into himself, Kai would offer a smile… and Soobin’s large hand would glide across his back… as if drawing out the worry and tension from his weary shoulders, replacing it with warmth and ease. Yes, that first time, Yeonjun had gazed at the stage with two other pairs of eyes, dreaming that being a rock star would be incredible… In his childish mind, it was him, Kai, and Soobin performing on that platform, the world lost in their gaze.

He scanned the room, spotting the bar opposite the stage, and swallowed hard, his throat already dry and burning. Behind the bar, shelves glowed with yellow and red light, the bartenders moving with brisk urgency… It was a hectic night, the crowd buzzing with an infectious excitement, barely contained in the club’s dark, enigmatic pressure, all waiting.

A resounding clamor rose… The crowd surged toward the stage, the source of the sound, pulling Yeonjun along in their tide until he found himself just three or four rows from the blazing light and roar. Breathing became a sudden struggle… Standing among this sea of strangers, so close to the stage, sent a shiver of unease through him. He wanted to find Jisoo quickly and…

His thoughts shattered as the room plunged into absolute darkness, only to be reborn moments later when the ceiling lights converged on the platform, now no longer empty… veiled in a delicate haze of mist and smoke.

Every gnawing thought, every thread of anxiety that had burrowed beneath his skin, dissolved into awe, drowned by the thundering pulse of Yeonjun’s heart. His eager eyes locked on the stage, the joyous screams of the crowd — here for the very reason he stood among them —muted in the world beyond his mind… A vast void enveloped him, and four familiar figures, alive in the center of his gaze, commanded his world.

It began softly yet with a thunderous crescendo… when allure itself took form in Soobin’s presence. His lethal hands wove through jet-black hair streaked with faint, shimmering silver, stepping forward in a sheer lace shirt that clung hungrily to his bare frame, flaunting himself to the crowd before him. With loose black pants and crosses dangling from his neck, he stood, letting Yeonjun’s gaze roam his lithe, half-exposed form…

Everything around faded in the overwhelming presence of Soobin’s ferocity and Kai’s breathtaking smile.

Kai, in a short-sleeved black shirt… its buttons left undone as if by careless intent, stood on the stage with a silken black choker knotted loosely around his neck, radiating a sinful charm… Breathing, smirking at the girls screaming his name… Yeonjun felt the air around him devoid of oxygen.

Then, everything vanished into the wail of guitars, the pulse of drums, the thrum of bass, and the words Kai drew from the depths of his soul. Kai Kaig as if his life hung on every note… His voice plunged into haunting depths, soared to piercing heights, and sliced into Yeonjun like shards of glass. With soft murmurs, he lulled Yeonjun into an endless trance, only to wrench him back to reality with a raw, beautiful scream woven with Soobin’s fierce, rage-filled roar.

Yeonjun could hear how Kai gripped the microphone as if it were an extension of his being, so close to his lips it seemed he meant to meld every breath with it. He Kaig from his core…of falling into a dark, consuming abyss called love, a black hole that devoured all he was, leaving nothing behind. Steeped in hope, a hope so heavy and molten it tangled with madness and despair, as if his very existence were knotted together. Even God, in all His grandeur, couldn’t save him from this plight. Love had stripped peace from his fevered mind, torn his heart to pieces, and left his soul adrift in a wreckage of broken thoughts… alone, lost!

Pain breathed in every word, hiding behind his piercing, sharp eyes, rising to the tip of his tongue, breaking in his voice. Yet love, though it had shredded his spirit and scarred his body, dragged him forward like a madman… as if a collar, scented with his beloved, were fastened around his fragile neck… And each time Kai chased it, he Kaik deeper into darkness, as if that void would swallow him for eternity.

Soobin, cradling his guitar as if it were his most precious possession, let his fingers dance across its strings, his voice joining Kai’s cries, their sounds blending into an enchanting melody that drove the crowd toward madness.

And so, with all their sinful allure, the audience Kaig along, sinking deeper into the chaos Withered Souls had conjured.

They shone with a singular energy… Soobin, clutching his guitar as if it were his lifeline… Beomgyu, weaving deep rhythms with his bass, syncing with the drummer, Taehyun. Kai, whose gaze lingered long on Soobin.

Kai and Soobin, with a ruthless, breathtaking beauty, played on the glassy stage… Kaig, danced with their whole being… They trampled over Yeonjun’s fragile restraint, coiling around his heart like rusted, jagged fences, creeping toward his throat, stealing his breath.

Between songs, the band took brief pauses… sharing fleeting words with their fans. Soobin, as in Yeonjun’s memories, reveled in the attention, his delight palpable even from this distance. Both moved with assurance, leaving the crowd in awe of Huening Kai and Choi Soobin. They flirted with the girls, and Soobin, ever the provocateur, moved his body in tantalizing ways during the performance, laughing triumphantly when he saw the crowd’s flustered, thrilled, and stunned reactions. His lips curved into a heart-shaped smirk, and Yeonjun wasn’t the only one captivated… Seeing Kai’s subtle, undeniable smile, his eyes unable to leave Soobin, Yeonjun knew — though he had left and broken everything — Kai and Soobin were still as vital to each other as they’d been years ago.

It made his heart ache with a childish sting… faint, fleeting, but spreading through his chest. Yeonjun restrained himself from clutching his heart, from curling into himself. Look at me, the way you look at Soobin, unable to tear your eyes away.

The space fell silent. Then, with a dazzling golden light and a resounding call, the air came alive, the music reborn. Everything began anew, and Yeonjun was lost in the words Kai whispered into the microphone. They Kaig of a vile, corrupt world, where a barbed rope coiled around their bodies and souls, a cold, rusted chain that cut deeper with every struggle, dragging them mercilessly toward an endless abyss. No matter how fiercely they fought… with bloodied nails and weary hearts, it seemed this world had one rule: to crush and break them!

Years had passed, yet they remained those fragile, trembling boys, eyes brimming with tears and faded dreams, yearning for a fleeting escape from this real hell. As if their hearts had been surrendered to the cruel hands of the world, each blow tearing their souls apart, for they had no strength left to stand against the storm…

But in that darkness, where pain coursed like venom through their veins, each breath a blade piercing their chests, a faint light flickered… a trembling, fragile hope. Like a dim star in an endless night, a soft… warm future sprouted from their shadowed lives. This hope gazed at them with eyes full of love, seeing their wounded spirits, touching their broken hearts… yet still smiling upon them. A kind hand reached from the fetid swamp of despair and weakness — not with haste or force, but with profound calm — pulling them from the mire… guiding them toward a new dawn, a world of light and life, where their hearts learned to beat again.

He had to leave… tear his eyes from this intoxicating ruin and flee with all his speed. But he was rooted, his legs straining to move… to stay in the heart of this vision, to be the sole witness to Kai and Soobin and the madness they hid within.

Yet his hands curled around his arms, clutching his sleeves… to remain in the dark, hidden from prying eyes, shielding his emotions.

So he lowered his head, lost in the passage of time… He heard the songs, their lyrics, sinking into the electric, thrilling atmosphere they wove.

But when Kai turned toward him and Yeonjun lifted his gaze, Kai’s heavy, cool eyes met his amber ones. Everything faded, and Yeonjun thought his heart skipped a beat. Because Kai’s gaze lingered. He froze on the stage, amidst a crowd cheering, screaming his name, while Soobin watched him… yet Kai’s eyes stayed on Yeonjun. He let the surprise on his face melt into recognition, then laughed strangely, as if what he saw was so absurd, so unreal, it amused him.

Yeonjun summoned all his strength to stand there, to lift his chin and smile at his old friend. That was enough to break Kai’s trance, his gaze hesitantly turning back as he tried to resume his performance.

Yeonjun ran a hand through his hair, mussing it. “Damn it… what am I doing?” he whispered. Lost in his thoughts, he lost track of time.

The boys finished their set, bidding farewell to the crowd surrounding them, offering sweet smiles and goodnights before vanishing from the stage. Yeonjun’s heart, with their departure, exhaled in relief, and he finally drew a deep breath. A sudden rush of vitality surged through him, and he realized he’d been holding his breath… swept up in the exhilaration that set his blood ablaze. Yeonjun was happy… After years of a dull existence, his heart now thrummed with joy, his hands trembling. Partly because his attempt to stay hidden had failed… Kai had spotted him in the crowd. As strange as it was… that Kai could pick him out in that darkness and chaos felt uniquely thrilling.

A hand landed on his shoulder, making Yeonjun jump. “Oppa, how are you doing?” Jisoo appeared in his view.

“Oh God, Jisoo.” His brows furrowed, and he raised a hand to brush off her irritating touch.

Jisoo stood, arms crossed. “I see you enjoyed the performance so much you didn’t even look for me… You forgot I was even here, didn’t you?”

Yeonjun’s brows knit at her words. He’d been so consumed by Kai and Soobin that he’d completely forgotten his little sister was there. “Forgot what?”

Jisoo raised a brow, staring at him in silence for a moment. “You’re so annoying…” she finally said, adding, “You were so distracted you didn’t notice me standing just a few steps away. Now I’m certain I was right to get you that ticket.”

Flushing with sudden embarrassment, Yeonjun scratched the back of his head and smiled. He felt like a giddy high schooler. “I’m getting a drink… You want one?”

“If you’re the one paying, why not!”

“As long as you don’t overdo it… I don’t want to explain to Mom where you were the entire night.”

As they walked toward the bar, Jisoo nudged his arm playfully with her elbow. “You mean the same place you went to?”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes and turned to the bartender. “Two martinis, please.”

The woman, wiping a glass, winked at him. “Coming right up, pretty boy.”

Yeonjun coughed unexpectedly, and Jisoo burst into loud laughter. He Kaik onto a stool by the counter, shielding his face with his hands. “Please, stop,” he said, his voice laced with exhaustion and embarrassment.

But Jisoo, ever the spoiled child, laughed harder, even slapping the wooden surface. “God, your face was priceless, Oppa. You practically went pale.”

Yeonjun’s finger tapped in frustration, cursing himself again for choosing to spend time with Jisoo. He had no idea who she’d inherited this behavior from.

“I took after you… Don’t try to act all innocent, now…” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. Yeonjun looked at her, stunned. He had no clue what was wrong with his little sister. She seemed serious.

“Don’t look at me like that. I know you too well for your own good.” She pointed her thumb at his face. “That look you just gave means you think I got this annoying, bratty personality from someone… that someone is you.”

“From me?”

Jisoo nodded.

Two cocktail glasses were set before them. When Yeonjun looked up, the same blonde woman, with a tattoo like hands clutching her neck, was watching him.

When he spoke, his voice was only polite and professional, the way Choi Yeonjun, the lawyer, spoke to others, filled with disinterest but gratitude.“Thank you so much.”

He slid a few bills across the counter. The woman’s face flickered with visible disappointment, but her smile remained kind. “You’re welcome, cupcake.” Then she left them.

Yeonjun could feel Jisoo’s gaze boring into his temple. He sighed, picking up the metal pick with an olive and stirring his drink… not that it was needed, but to keep himself occupied and avoid whatever Jisoo was about to say.

He raised the glass after a moment to taste it.

“Are you gay?” Jisoo said suddenly, and Yeonjun choked on the liquid, coughing as he pressed a hand to his mouth, stammering, “Wh—what?”

She propped her head on her hand, utterly calm, as if the conversation didn’t faze her. “In all the years you’ve been my brother, I’ve never seen you look at any woman with interest…” Her face turned pensive. “Or men, for that matter…”

“Jisoo…” This conversation was veering somewhere uncomfortable.

“Are you perhaps asexual?” Her eyes widened, her expression pleading for him not to confirm it.

Yeonjun reached forward, pressing a hand to her lips… not gently, but not harshly, just enough to make her stop. “What nonsense are you spouting? Of course I’m not asexual.”

“Then you’re confirming being gay?”

“God, no! Stop it.”

“Then what’s your problem?”

What was his problem? He didn’t know… After all this time, he still hadn’t made peace with himself or moved past the history he’d left behind. He was stuck in ten years ago, unable to move forward. He shouldn’t even be here now… but Yeonjun was never a brave fighter. When his emotions surged, overwhelming and uncontrollable… leaving him breathless… or when he Kaik so deeply into despair and self-pity that the world seemed to halt, he couldn’t escape his feelings. He couldn’t leash or tame them.

So when he spoke, for the first time in years, he let truth flow into his words. “It’s not about them being men or women… I just… I don’t find anyone interesting... I can’t seem to feel desire or interest in anyone… It’s been this way for so long. I feel like I left my emotions somewhere in the past. Other people are just… too dull for me.”

Jisoo nodded this time, falling silent as she sipped her drink. Yeonjun was grateful… If she’d pressed further, he might’ve bolted.

A few minutes passed in quiet, with music humming through the air and the thick scent of cologne and sweat.

“You noticed too, didn’t you?” It was Jisoo, her voice carrying a serious weight, and Yeonjun knew she was watching closely. “When you were watching their performance…”

His fingers tightened around the glass, the air chilling around him. “…you had that glint in your eyes. “

Yeonjun blinked, keeping his focus on the half-empty martini glass, avoiding her gaze… He didn’t trust himself or his eyes not to betray everything.

“Your usually cold, lifeless eyes were shining with excitement…You actually looked happy.” Jisoo’s smile was tangible in her voice. For the first time, Yeonjun felt he could open his mouth and let his emotions spill, just this once, knowing his sister would never judge him.

He laughed to himself… It was pathetic. Even after ten years, he hadn’t managed to smother or erase his feelings. Yeonjun’s entire life seemed destined to watch from afar, clutching envy in his grasp.

“Yeonjun-ah… I finally found you.” The voice spun him around so swiftly he felt his nerves might snap, a twinge of strain twisting through his neck… In that moment of pain, he crumpled inwardly, realizing that in the presence of Kai and Soobin, his life was as breathtakingly beautiful as it was achingly pitiful.

Kai stood before him, his shirt now buttoned — though the top three remained undone, revealing the tantalizing line of his chest — and his loose pants, unmarred by rips, exuded a quiet confidence. No smile graced his lips, but his gaze shimmered with a peculiar intensity, never straying from Yeonjun’s face.

A flush warmed Yeonjun’s ears. “Kai-ah… what are you doing here?”

Glancing around, he saw a crowd stealing glances at Kai, whispering and chuckling softly among themselves. Noticing what Yeonjun meant, Kai stepped closer. “We have some pretty great fans, don’t we?”

Yeonjun stared, dumbfounded, unable to stifle a laugh. Their fans truly had a remarkable grasp of personal space. So he only nodded, and Kai clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I was shocked when I saw you.”

Yeonjun’s brows shot up. “Why?”

He played clueless, though he knew his presence here was a shock in itself, let alone being caught mid-gaze during their performance.

“I thought it was just someone who looked too much like you, but then you smiled… and I knew it wasn’t just some pretty guy looking like you… it was actually you.”

Yeonjun blinked, processing the words. “Honestly, it’s strange how you could pick me out in that crowd.”

Kai frowned, as if Yeonjun’s comment had somehow stung. “That’s because you stand out.”

Yeonjun tucked his hair behind his ear, trying to hide his suddenly flushed face from Kai’s piercing gaze. He fought to soothe his racing heart, feeling like a schoolboy undone by a single word from his crush. It wasn’t that Kai was flirting… He was in a damned relationship, and Yeonjun couldn’t stop being a wretched fool.

Just as he opened his mouth to cobble together a response, Jisoo cleared her throat beside him. “Ahem, ahem. Not interrupting anything, am I?”

Had his sister not spoken, he might’ve drowned further in the warmth radiating from Kai, embarrassing himself even more in front of her.

Kai’s attention shifted to the third presence, whose narrowed eyes… so like Yeonjun’s wide amber ones.. judged them both. His sharp eyes widened in surprise, then softened into restrained joy that spilled into his smile. “Oh, Jisoo. I’m glad to see you again.”

Jisoo held her judgmental expression, laced with a subtle thread of girlish mischief. Yeonjun, her brother, could read the childish schemes swirling in her mind.

“Hey, Kai Oppa.” Yeonjun frowned, confused. “I’m glad too. Your performance was incredible.”

Why were they being so friendly and casual?

“I appreciate it… We work hard for it,” Kai said, and Yeonjun wanted to agree, to lock eyes with that stoic face and tell him he’d never seen anyone chase their dreams with the fervor Kai and Soobin did.

But all he could do was gaze into those eyes, marveling at how Kai’s cool, serious demeanor melted into warmth and life with a smile.

Instead, he said, his eyes flickering between them, “You two know each other?”

Jisoo rolled her eyes. “We’ve known each other, Choi Yeonjun… since, like, eleven or twelve years ago. Maybe more.”

Yeonjun was still bewildered… Jisoo never failed to surprise him. “I didn’t know you were still in touch?”

It was all so strange he couldn’t even process that he was openly discussing a past he’d fought so hard to keep buried.

Yet Jisoo was utterly at ease, and Kai… his eyes bore into the side of Yeonjun’s head with a heavy intensity.

“I go to their concerts all the time; of course we talk,” she said, tracing a finger along the rim of her now-empty glass. “Does is bother you?”

Her tone carried a playful mischief that startled Yeonjun, making his shoulders slump and his hand rub his arm uncomfortably.

Kai raised a brow, gazing at him with pure curiosity. “Bother him? Why would it bother him?” But his faint smirk and steady, quiet voice held no trace of innocence… just piercing eyes and a subtle provocation.

There was no reason to be upset. God… he didn’t want Kai to misunderstand and think he disapproved of the small friendship between Jisoo and Withered Souls. If anything, he was just frustrated that he couldn’t be part of that circle.

He exhaled and sat straighter. Pouting like a petulant puppy wouldn’t fix anything. “Why would I be upset about anything? I’m actually glad you’re enjoying your life.”

Kai, beside him, laughed… sudden… brief, as if Yeonjun’s words were a bad joke. As if he knew Yeonjun was hiding a tangle of broken, complex feelings behind them, struggling to steer the conversation elsewhere.

Kai was exactly as Yeonjun remembered… a curious, playful cat hiding a ruthless wolf behind his charm. With those sharp, half-lidded eyes, he peered into Yeonjun’s soul… asking questions with warmth, then waiting to drink in his words, only to expose his lies with a mocking laugh. With a low hum in his throat and the slight curve of his lips, Kai stripped Yeonjun bare, forcing him to lay his secrets at his feet.

Kai was never a pure, sweet angel with a kind heart. He was a fallen angel, cloaking his darkness behind a warm, honeyed smile and breezy, hopeful gazes.

Soobin, on the other hand, was a devil… and seemed to have no interest in hiding it :)

Kai licked his lips. “Jisoo always attends our shows…” He tilted his head. “But you’re the star tonight, Yeonjun… So do tell me about... Did you like our little performance? “

Every move he made carried a certain allure… like the times Kai would drape himself over Soobin’s lap, arms looping around his neck, while Soobin’s hands settled on Kai’s strong thighs. Then Kai would lick his lips… slow, provocative… letting his voice cut through the silence like a blade, sinking into Yeonjun and Soobin’s skin… soft, painful, unforgettable… as if every word was a secret meant only for Soobin, except Yeonjun was always there, always hearing it all… And as Kai spoke, he’d tilt his head, making it impossible to look away from that sharp jaw and high cheekbones.

Kai wanted Yeonjun to keep his eyes on him… and Yeonjun had no desire to look away.

“I enjoyed the show.”

“Was that genuine, or just trying not to hurt my feelings?”

“No, Kai. It was amazing… I enjoyed it a bit too much.” He laughed as he spoke, and Kai’s eyes never left him, showing no intention of doing so. The attention, after all these years, felt fresh and strange… warming him.

“Got plans for tonight?”

“No, I will be heading home, after. Why?” His voice was tinged with confusion.

“Then how about…” Kai explained with that signature smile, making Yeonjun want to bash his head against a wall. “You come backstage with me, and I treat you to another drink? The others are there, and I’m sure they’d be thrilled to see you.”

Yeonjun let out a flustered laugh. “Honestly, I got this drink just to wet my throat… And I don’t think that’s a good idea. After a performance like that, they’re probably exhausted, and the last thing they need is a burden.”

Deep down, Yeonjun hoped Kai would insist; so when Kai reached out, lifted Yeonjun’s half-full glass, and brought it to his lips, draining it in one go, Yeonjun could only stare. His eyes followed the glass — where his own lips had left their mark — now pressed against Kai’s perfectly shaped ones, his Adam’s apple bobbing visibly as he swallowed.

Yeonjun felt a warmth… more than just a little warmth… He couldn’t tear his gaze from Kai’s throat as he set the empty glass down, cursing himself. He was pining for a man in a ten-year relationship… like a depraved fool.

When Kai turned back to him, fixing him with those damned eyes, he said, “Sorry, it seems like I accidentally drank your martini, so now you have to come with me so I can treat you to our cheap drinks… We’ll save some money too, right?”

As mortifying as it was, Yeonjun’s head was still spinning from moments ago… but thankfully, he was a lawyer, able to control himself and his sick mind, keeping his voice steady. “Kai, I really don’t think…”

“You’re not a burden… Please?” Kai cut in, and Yeonjun felt his resistance crumble. His voice wasn’t playful or relaxed… it was pleading, with a faint tremor of fear in his quivering lashes.

Sometimes, Kai’s attention made Yeonjun hope it was just his own selfish delusion… that Kai still cared, still wanted his presence lingering in his life. Because, as painful as it was, Yeonjun had no right… Kai shouldn’t be pleading, staring at him with those eyes… Fuck it, he shouldn’t even want to talk to Yeonjun… But here he was, making it harder to breathe.

He wanted to ask, Why are you doing this? Why do you still look at me like you used to? But all that came out was, “Okay, I’ll come.” He swallowed the rest, because he still wasn’t brave enough to speak them out loud… He didn’t want to know how much he’d hurt them. Walking away from Kai and Soobin’s tears, their broken voices shouting, “You’re a coward… a spineless bastard! “ was never easy. Nor was his own ruthless departure, choking down his grief and tears.

In that moment, he remembered Jisoo’s presence, unable to leave her alone. Turning to her, he said, “Jisoo, can you wait a few minutes? I’ll come back and take you home.”

He didn’t want to drag her into this… his pathetic past and even more pathetic self.

But Jisoo waved a hand, a carefree smile on her lips. “Don’t worry, Oppa… My friends are around. I’ll head home with them.”

“Oh…” Then it Kaik in. “Hey, wait. You said you were coming alone.”

Jisoo didn’t falter… Instead, she pulled a mock-shocked face. “Oops… I lied.”

Yeonjun frowned, feeling like a child anyone could toy with.

Before he could voice his frustration, Jisoo cut in. “Please don’t be mad, Oppa. I thought if I said that, your guilt might push you to drop your stubbornness and come, so you could actually enjoy a weekend and escape your boring life for a few hours.”

Yeonjun wanted to be grateful… he really did, but as he placed his free hand on his hip and grinned, he knew he’d regret everything.

“But when I saw how you stared at the stage, unable to look away… When your eyes were glowing and you were relaxed in a crowded place like this, I knew I did the right thing and—”

“Okay, enough. Shut up and go home.” He stepped forward, grabbing Jisoo’s slender shoulders and nudging her in the opposite direction of him and Kai.

“Yah, Oppa… Don’t be so rough.”

“Just go, alright? Stop talking nonsense.”

“I’m going, I’m going… Wait a sec.”

As she tried to turn back, Yeonjun blocked her. “No, I don’t want to stay here any—”

A hand covered his mouth, muffling his voice. Jisoo glanced at Kai, who watched them with an amused expression, as if savoring the scene.

“Kai, Oppa?”

His focus was on Yeonjun. “Hmm?”

“Are you sure I can leave my brother with you?”

Kai stepped closer, eyes still on Yeonjun, raising a brow with a smirk that made Yeonjun want to vanish. “Yeah, Jisoo-yah. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him… Won’t let anyone hit on him.”

“Alright then… Have fun.” She slipped from Yeonjun’s grasp and darted off.

Yeonjun called after her, “Be careful.” And his mind circled back to the fact that, despite knowing Kai like the back of his hand, he couldn’t decipher his actions. The strong hand on his arm didn’t help.

“She’s grown up well.”

“Yeah, she’s a strong girl.”

Kai didn’t mention Jisoo’s words… didn’t ask why Yeonjun’s eyes sparkled watching them, why he’d stared like a depraved fool earlier, barely breathing… Most importantly, he didn’t ask why Yeonjun was here. Yeonjun didn’t know what he’d say if faced with those questions, when even he was lost in his own thoughts and actions. Ten years of trying to distance himself from this life and its memories, and now he was back. He still didn’t know why… but he was here, ready to follow Kai.

The walk through the club to the artist’s room wasn’t long… They passed through a short corridor, and Kai told the guard Yeonjun was a friend. The man nodded, and they turned right, passing two rooms before stopping at a door. All the while, Yeonjun could feel his heart in his throat.

He was both thrilled to see Soobin and consumed by the stress and anxiety gnawing at him, making each step hesitant.

But when a hand settled under his chin, gently turning his face, Yeonjun met Kai’s eyes, far too close. “Hey, I can sense your stress from here… Take a deep breath.”

Yeonjun did, without control over his body. Each touch of Kai’s fingers on his skin left searing embers.

“Good… You’re fine, everything’s fine. The guys will be happy to see you. You don’t need to worry this much, okay?” His gaze was a warm weight. Unlike minutes ago, when it seemed to devour Yeonjun, now Kai’s eyes promised care. Something stirred in Yeonjun’s chest. Pathetic fool.

He nodded. “Okay.”

Kai’s hand slid from his chin, trailing to his neck, then his shoulder.. The touch was meant to calm him down, but it set Yeonjun’s heart racing even more.

Kai turned, pushing the door handle down. The barrier gave way, and Yeonjun followed him into a room… filled with black couches and three figures dominating his view.

“Yah, Huening Kai. Where the hell have you been? You said you were getting drinks, not inventing them.” Beomgyu’s voice, as vibrant and teenage as ever, rang out. He sat, elbows on his knees, phone held horizontally, eyes glued to the screen, complaining loudly.

Beside him, Taehyun lounged on the couch, head tilted back, one ankle crossed over the other, eyes closed. His hand, from what Yeonjun could see, rested around Beomgyu’s waist. He growled, eyes still shut, “Stop yelling, Beomgyu. I’ve had enough of Soobin and Kai’s shouting during the show… I don’t need another headache.”

Beomgyu visibly rolled his eyes, shut off his phone, and lifted his head. “Kai… dude say something… huh?”

Kai, beside Yeonjun, flashed a wide grin, dimples popping, teeth gleaming. “Didn’t get drinks, but I found something much better.”

“No way…” Beomgyu’s eyes widened so much on Yeonjun’s face, they might’ve popped out.

“What are you talking about, idiot? Nothing’s better than a drink after a show.” Taehyun’s voice.

Beomgyu elbowed Taehyun’s stomach, making him wince and open his eyes, glaring. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Yeonjun?”

A voice pierced the air, achingly familiar, yet not the warm cadence of Taehyun or Beomgyu’s vibrant timbre, nor Kai’s soothing, honeyed calm. It was colder, arid, a hollow echo that reverberated through Yeonjun’s soul, a sound he’d know even in the next life’s twilight. His eyes swept the room, alighting on a towering figure framed before a full-length mirror, a black cigarette poised between lithe fingers, smoldering like a dark star.

Soobin stood there, cloaked in his silent, ruthless majesty… His gaze, a storm of astonishment, seemed to witness a moment spun from dreams, surreal and unshackled. His reflection in the glass held Yeonjun’s eyes captive, unable to turn, as if the mirror itself bound their souls. Soobin was caught, unmoored… Yeonjun saw his hand pause mid-air, a fleeting reach toward his lips halted, suspended in time… Those heavy eyes, twin pools of shadowed curiosity, scoured Yeonjun’s face—steady, searching, stunned into silence by Yeonjun’s presence. Yet the spell was fleeting. As Yeonjun wove words into being, breathing life into the air with a soft, “Hey, Soobin,” Soobin turned, his composure a reclaimed fortress.

Yeonjun’s heart whispered gratitude for a mind tempered by time, sparing him the blush of shame before those who had carved his past in starlight and shadow…

Soobin’s eyes, small and marble-like, sharpened with recognition, rounding as Yeonjun’s voice anchored him to the present. The sound of his name, spoken in that familiar cadence, seemed to tether him to reality’s fragile thread. Yeonjun stood adrift, unsure of his next step… Soobin’s gaze, heavy as a winter fog, pressed against him, suffocating despite years of navigating courtrooms and clients with a lawyer’s poise. He teetered on the edge of breaking… Yet he clenched his fists, nails biting into palms, and summoned a faint smile, severing their locked gazes. Soobin’s hand, cradling the cigarette, fell, his lashes quivering like leaves caught in a sudden gust…

Yeonjun stepped forward, the door whispering shut behind him, sealing their reunion in the room’s trembling air. He yearned to stand tall, to unfurl a strength that proclaimed he was no longer the timid wisp of a boy, fragile and retreating. He would not buckle beneath Soobin’s piercing stare, nor let his throat tighten with the weight of old fears.

He turned to Taehyun and Beomgyu, who seemed speechless, their wide eyes fixed on him, mouths opening and closing. Until Beomgyu let out a loud exhale. “Oh my God…”

Yeonjun laughed, light and melodic, the kind that used to weaken Kai and Soobin in the knees. “In my whole life, the last thing I expected was to see Beomgyu speechless.”

His words drew a loud, muffled laugh from Taehyun and a pout from Beomgyu. “What do you mean, speechless? Jerk… I’m just shocked. You jerk…”

Yeonjun raised his brows, cutting him off… He didn’t want to hear about ten years ago or anything like it, didn’t want to ruin the mood. “Oh, looks like cat didn’t get your tongue after all.”

Beomgyu, stunned, let out a sharp laugh, his breath loud. Then he stood and rushed at Yeonjun. This time, Yeonjun didn’t want to flinch or grimace, letting Beomgyu envelop him in a sweet hug, his excitement seeping into Yeonjun’s very bones. “Oh shit… How are you even here?”

Yeonjun’s hands, unlike Beomgyu’s tight embrace, rested gently on his back. “I missed you too.” His voice held a fresh mischief… surely Jisoo’s influence.

Beomgyu stiffened, pulling back slightly, eyeing Yeonjun suspiciously, as if something about the auburn-haired boy surprised him. “You learned how to flirt?”

A sudden heat crept to Yeonjun’s cheeks and ears; before he could think, his hand shot up, landing a not-so-gentle but embarrassed, mildly annoyed slap on Beomgyu’s shoulder. “What are you talking about?”

Just weeks after meeting Kai and Soobin in those brief but pivotal moments, his life had shifted at its core… a change he hadn’t yet processed. Then Soobin decided to introduce him to two of their friends, shoving Yeonjun headfirst into an abyss.

Soobin, with a calm smile but resolute eyes, had casually yet eagerly slung his arms around Kai and Yeonjun’s shoulders. His cold yet utterly sincere tone warmed Yeonjun’s weary ears, making the world quieter and Yeonjun braver for a moment. Then he said:

“The four of us are gonna fight, Yeonjun… Fight, try, and even if we die up there, we’ll be up there… where we’ll become Korea’s greatest rockstars. And then we’ll stun the world. But me and Kai… we want you in this dream with us. Not just along for the ride, but part of the dream itself.”

In a world where Yeonjun, for a fleeting time, wasn’t that timid boy anymore. He was learning to live—through boys who were like him yet different in mind and heart. He’d found friends, people he could step out from behind his walls for, sit beside… listen to their noise and think how much they felt like home.

Days when all five of them practiced tirelessly; sweating, exhausted, but with hearts pounding faster, breaths heavy with passion and desire. Nights spent weaving dreams… dreams that began with standing side by side on a stage and stretched to the stars. Those days were simple, short, but their simplicity and brevity made them infinitely precious.

“Oh, looks like you still got that shy little boy within you somewhere… Yah, Taehyun, come look at him.”

Beomgyu’s voice snapped Yeonjun from his memories. He stepped aside, gesturing for Taehyun to come closer, though Taehyun was already approaching. “Man, look how much time has passed… I thought I forgot how you looked.”

Seeing Taehyun’s open arms and leaning frame, Yeonjun braced himself, and for a brief moment, they embraced. Taehyun patted his back a few times and, unlike the others, quickly stepped back.

He lowered his head, adjusting his shirt. “Everything feels so nostalgic.” He laughed softly… gentle, meaningless.

Kai’s quiet chuckle sounded beside him. He still stood close… his presence a soothing warmth that dulled Yeonjun’s fear of rejection. Strange, having seen Kai only twice, yet he was already leaning on him… a foolish, childish dependency. Beomgyu glanced around, and Taehyun watched him… not with exhaustion or boredom, but with the fondness of rediscovering a cherished old friend. For a moment, Yeonjun wondered if he’d been needlessly worried… Maybe the boys didn’t hate him…

“You’re right, it’s all so strange… We’ve all grown up, no longer those little eighteen-year-olds. It feels good, fresh.” Taehyun spoke with his usual calm, still radiating a kindness that made Yeonjun think not everyone was cruel or cold-hearted… Taehyun was an angel in human form, with a pure, gentle heart.

“I’m glad to see you guys,” Yeonjun said, his words earnest and warm, unlike the fear that had nearly destroyed him hours ago.

Beomgyu grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the couches. “Come on, tell us about your life, yeah?” He gripped both Yeonjun’s shoulders, urging him to sit, and Yeonjun let him… not wanting to overthink and ruin the mood with silence or reserve. Beomgyu and Taehyun were genuinely excited, and Yeonjun owed them that.

“My life’s not that exciting, Beomgyu-yah.”

“Well, good… I thought with this ridiculous gap between us, you’d call me Beomgyu-ssi by now.. “He placed a hand on his chest, letting out a relieved sigh. Yeonjun nearly laughed at the sheer dramatics… so like the old Beomgyu…

Soobin stood at a calculated distance by the half-open window. One of the windows was slightly ajar, and the yellow streetlight filtered through thin black curtains, bathing half his face in a sweaty glow, the other half cloaked in shadow. The light accentuated his lips, sharp jaw, and long, ridiculously well-shaped nose.

He seemed to deliberately keep himself out of the conversation… but his gaze—not indifferent, not eager, just heavy and cutting—was locked on Yeonjun. The black cigarette between his long fingers burned slowly, its ash falling silently to the floor. His hand didn’t move… the cigarette simply burned, as if it needed no control… disintegrating bit by bit, and Soobin took pride in that too.

Yeonjun tried not to look his way, but a corner of his mind felt Soobin’s presence… a familiar shadow heavy with unanswered questions.

Beomgyu broke the silence amid the thick air and sluggish time. “You know what’s weird, Yeonjun? You’re still the same damn charming guy you always were… but there’s something different in your eyes. Bright, wide, and shiny… they’ve changed. I don’t know, maybe because you’ve gotten stronger?”

His smile was mischievous. He raised a brow and playfully shoved Yeonjun’s shoulder. Yeonjun leaned back but smiled… kind and calm. Beomgyu was physical… when happy, laughing, angry… or sad…  this was how he drew attention.

“Time changes a lot of things, I believe. “

“Yeah, but I still think you’re that innocent kid who blushed non-stop from embarrassment!”

Beomgyu cackled. Yeonjun, with his usual delicate control, let his cheeks flush slightly and said with another light laugh, “Hmm… maybe… there are some things that even time can’t change...”

Taehyun, standing behind the couch beside Beomgyu, his hands bracing his frame, spoke in that deep, slow tone that always tickled the mind. “You’re still the calmest person in the room, even after ten years. But this time, that calm feels… stronger. Like what you’d expect from a lawyer.”

The sincerity of his words left Yeonjun defenseless for a moment. His gaze dropped briefly to the floor.

Beomgyu raised a brow, arms resting on the couch’s back. “A lawyer who’s pretty successful too… At this age, with a face that’d probably pull even the straightest guys.”

A sharp slap landed on the back of Beomgyu’s neck, and he hissed. Taehyun stood, arms crossed, looking down at him… expressionless, judging. “When are you gonna learn you’re in a relationship and shouldn’t flirt with every pretty boy or girl you see?”

Yeonjun was grateful to Taehyun. He’d had enough compliments today; another might unravel him. But it made Beomgyu flash a smug grin, tilting his head to wink at Taehyun. “What… jealous, lover boy?”

Taehyun sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation, then grabbed Beomgyu’s bare arm and pulled him up as if he weighed nothing. “Shut up and let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.”

Beomgyu slung an arm over Taehyun’s shoulder, bringing his lips close to his ear. “You just want to spend time with me. What’s with these childish excuses?”

Despite the affection clear on Taehyun’s face, he said, “No, Beomgyu… I’m taking you because I have to. Because I made the huge mistake of being your boyfriend, and now I’m stuck dealing with you so you don’t annoy everyone else.”

Beomgyu laughed with his whole being, planting a wet kiss on the corner of Taehyun’s lips. “Love you too, puppy.”

Yeonjun was glad he hadn’t lost his spark—brighter than ever.

Kai, from beside the table, voiced his disgust, growling as he opened a water bottle. “Please, go kiss each other somewhere else. No one in this goddam room is interested.”

“Shut your trap, Kai. You just want us gone so you can jump on Soobin and suck him off.”

Yeonjun’s body burned, his breath faltering. Breathing was already hard with Soobin’s gaze refusing to let him escape its hold, tracking his movements, swallowing his words as if waiting for a slip. From the corner of his eye, Yeonjun saw Soobin toss his cigarette out the window and pull another from the pack. Addicted.

“Now that you’ve figured it out, get lost, Choi Beomgyu.” Soobin growled, the new cigarette between his lips, rummaging through his pockets… likely for his lighter. When he couldn’t find it, he muttered out a curse under his breath. But Kai was there in a heartbeat, standing before him… long, calm strides… He raised the lighter, igniting it before Soobin’s lips. “Here.”

Kai moved like water.. precise, calculated, leaving no trace or sound to betray his presence.

Soobin, as if in a trance, let out a short laugh, lowering his head, staring at Kai’s stoic face from under his lashes… hungry, predatory.

“They’re making me sick. Let’s get out of here quick,” Taehyun said, heading for the door, Beomgyu trailing. Before leaving, Beomgyu glanced back at Yeonjun—a look full of memories, a hint of regret, but mostly hope. “We’re still here, Yeonjun… if you’d like to to come back.”

He opened the door, and Taehyun, with a warm smile, followed his boyfriend. As their footsteps faded, silence reclaimed the room… weighted by Soobin’s heavy breathing and the faint tap of his cigarette against the window.

Kai drifted back to him, softer than ever, his voice a hushed murmur. “It wasn’t too hard, was it?”

Yeonjun summoned a mock frown, his lips pouting with practiced petulance. “I’m not a child anymore, Kai. I can handle a brief reunion.”

But Kai fell silent… his gaze slipping to a place just below Yeonjun’s eyes. With stark clarity, Yeonjun smoothed his expression, yet Kai’s stare lingered on his lips, his thoughts spilling in a low, velvet whisper. “You still do that. When you’re upset, you pout.”

What was Yeonjun to do with Kai’s words? He pressed his lips tight and turned slowly toward Soobin, their eyes weaving together in a quiet collision.

No shadow stirred across Soobin’s countenance; he stood as still as a forgotten statue, his silence a weighty hymn, louder than any reverberation in the room’s quivering air. For a few timeless seconds, Soobin’s gaze held fast… an oppressive, absolute hush that sent shivers cascading like frost over Yeonjun’s skin.

Because Soobin’s silence was never without purpose… not unless a monstrous turmoil roiled within his mind’s shadowed depths. This time, Yeonjun sensed that monster was himself… a bitter thorn, gnawing like a relentless specter, ensnaring Soobin’s soul, binding his thoughts in chains of memory.

Time unraveled, a fragile, strangling thread, taut with unspoken grief.

Then, after those accursed moments that stretched like hours, Soobin exhaled, a long, burdened sigh, heavy as a storm’s release. With measured reverence, he lifted the glowing cigarette to his lips, drawing a deep, smoldering breath. As tendrils of smoke unfurled, coiling like whispers of a lost era, his shoulders softened, shedding their icy armor…

And then his voice fractured. Soft, cold, a blade that carved deep without spilling blood: “What’s it like to be here, Yeonjun-ah, after ten years?”

His words Kaik into the question’s depths, unadorned by smile or scorn, only a raw, gravelly timbre entwining each syllable. Yet Yeonjun knew Soobin… knew that ‘decade’ was a deliberate arrow, piercing the veil of time to remind Yeonjun that every scar remained etched in Soobin’s memory. This was Soobin’s art… summoning debts unspoken, demanding truths yet to be bared.

Yet Yeonjun remained composed, a faint, trembling smile gracing his lips, even as his skin burned with a strange fire. “It feels familiar, Soobin…”

He tilted his head, his gaze laced with irony, brows arched, a smirk settling on his lips. “Oh, what kind of familiar?”

“The place was loud, chaotic… but the music pulsed with life, and the lyrics felt close, known.” Yeonjun, with the delicate grace woven into his veins since childhood, brushed the stray hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. Soobin’s eyes tracked the motion… relentless, piercing.

“I’m glad I was here today…” His gaze held steady on Soobin’s waiting, impassive face. “Soobin, you and Kai did it.”

Something in Soobin’s eyes quivered, fleeting and extinguished. His sharp, cold features softened with surprise for a mere heartbeat, just enough to spark a flicker of hope in Yeonjun… but before he could grasp it, it slipped through his fingers like smoke. Because Soobin — as always —recomposed himself swiftly, as if Yeonjun’s words weren’t warm enough to thaw his frozen heart, only grazing its edge… leaving a shallow wound, small but sharp enough for Soobin to cling to.

“So… you’re glad you’re here, hmm?” The room seemed to shrink under the weight of Soobin’s words, the air thick with unspoken accusations and the faint tang of cigarette smoke curling from the window. Soobin had lit another, his restlessness palpable…

Yeonjun stood frozen, his breath snagged somewhere between his chest and throat… when Soobin’s voice — soft, sharp, dripping with sarcasm — sliced through the silence like a dagger. “Glad we managed to turn our foolish, absurd… time-wasting dream into reality, huh, Yeonjun-ah?”

The words struck like a slap, each syllable steeped in a bitterness that prickled Yeonjun’s skin. Soobin’s gaze was dark, unyielding, pinning him in place… glinting with betrayal and something softer, something long buried beneath layers of ash… perhaps longing, or the faint shadow of what once bound them.

The cigarette between Soobin’s fingers… like all the others… burned steadily, its glowing embers twinkling like a wounded star… mirroring the tension thrumming between them. Yeonjun’s heart pounded, so loud he feared it would betray him… laying bare the guilt he’d carried for years…

He opened his mouth to find words to soothe the ache in his chest… but his voice shattered before it could emerge. Soobin’s taunt wasn’t just a jab; it was a mirror held before Yeonjun, reflecting every moment he’d turned his back on their dream, on them.

Ten years ago, Yeonjun had stood against their shared ambition, lifting his head to meet Kai and Soobin’s eyes — two radiant moons orbiting one another — their brilliance too vast, too unreachable for a dim star like Yeonjun. He’d thought he was saving them, saving himself…  but all he’d done was carve a wound so deep that never healed…

And now, Soobin’s words reopened that scar, raw and bleeding. Yeonjun’s fingers trembled at his sides, itching to rise and shield his face, to hide from the piercing weight of those gazes. But he couldn’t look away. Soobin’s stare was a tempest… rage and ruin danced with a hidden trace of yearning, twisting Yeonjun’s heart. The way Soobin challenged him to speak, to finally unveil the truth they’d all buried, was a dare… wanting him to face all of his agonising guilt…

Kai, the quiet spirit in the room’s corner, breathed with a presence that pulsed with life. His existence, as always, was a strange paradox… soothing yet provocative… like a warm breeze carrying the promise of a storm. He stepped forward, movements fluid, calculated… his lips curling into that singular smile that concealed more than it revealed. The streetlight’s glow spilled through the window, bathing his jaw in a soft radiance that made him seem both angelic and untouchable, a fallen star cloaked in mystery.

“Soobin, I…” Yeonjun whispered, barely audible.

But Kai didn’t let him continue. “Soobin,” he said, his voice soft but resolute, velvet over steel. “Take it easy, hmm? He’s here now… Let’s not dig up the graves of memories tonight.”

Soobin’s gaze snapped to Kai, sharp and defiant… his cigarette paused halfway to his lips. “Come on, Kai. I’m just asking him a question… I’m just asking a question.”

“Then change how you talk.”

He rolled his eyes theatrically, but the gesture couldn’t mask the edge lingering in the set of his shoulders, the way his long fingers tightened around the cigarette. “What’s wrong with wanting to know if our star guest still thinks we’re chasing empty dreams?”

Yeonjun flinched subtly, the taunt hitting its mark. His throat tightened… that familiar heat creeping up his neck… his ears burning under Soobin’s relentless, unforgiving stare. Kai’s calm was both salvation and burden… Yeonjun always felt safe beside him, soothed by his steady strength, but it made him all the more aware of his frantic heart. Kai’s presence was a balm… calming yet disarming, urging Yeonjun to spill every unspoken truth.

But Soobin… on the other hand, was a wildfire, unpredictable and destructive, stirring an ocean of emotions in Yeonjun he couldn’t name or escape.

“Soobin…” Kai called again, his voice even softer, a plea dissolving into the room’s air… as if trying to tame a wild, untamed creature… though his smile never wavered.

That smile was a mask… Yeonjun knew it, a veil Kai wore to hide his suppressed emotions, to maintain the illusion of control. “Yeonjun said he enjoyed the show. Isn’t that enough for now?”

Soobin let out a loud, scornful laugh, leaning against the window frame, the cigarette finally settling between his lips. “Enough? Sure, Kai. Whatever you say.” His words dripped with mockery, as if he were silencing himself only for Kai… swallowing whatever devoured him inside, just for Kai. For a fleeting moment, his gaze softened with a suffocating tenderness… and Yeonjun glimpsed the Soobin of ten years ago… the one who laughed with him, built dreams, believed in him… the teenage boy who talked about Kai like he hung the stars… But it vanished as quickly as it came, hidden behind the armor Soobin wore like a shield.

Yeonjun’s fingers curled into a tight fist… his nails digging into his palms as he fought to maintain his composure. He wanted to speak… to explain why he ran, why he called their dream ansurd, why he fled the only people who made him feel alive… But the words retreated, entangled with the fear that always destroyed him from within. Yeonjun wasn’t brave like Kai or reckless like Soobin, who wore his demons like badges of honor. He was just… Yeonjun, a star fallen too far from those orbiting moons, too afraid to shine.

The silence stretched… heavy, stifling, broken only by the faint murmur of the world outside and the soft tap of Soobin’s cigarette against the window’s edge. Kai’s gaze flickered between them, his smile trembling… the only hint of the storm he concealed.

Kai stepped closer… his shoulder brushing Yeonjun’s, a silent comfort sending a shiver down his spine. “You don’t have to answer him…” Kai whispered, his voice muffled, meant only for Yeonjun’s ears. “Not tonight.”

But Soobin was a stubborn force, never knowing when to yield. He tilted his head, his lips curling into a cruel smirk that never reached his eyes. “What’s the matter, Yeonjun? Cat got your tongue? Or are you still running from what scares you?” His words were a challenge, a veiled provocation echoing their bitter past. Yeonjun felt them pierce his chest like shrapnel.

He swallowed hard, his gaze sliding to Kai… standing like a quiet sentinel, his beauty unshaken, but his eyes sharp with a unique blend of worry and calm, fixed on Soobin. Yeonjun wanted to reach out, to bridge the chasm between them, but Soobin’s stare pinned him… The room was a stage, and Yeonjun an actor who’d forgotten his lines, trapped between two forces he could never rival.

He drew a deep breath to steady himself, uncurling his fists. He wouldn’t break under Soobin’s stormy gaze or Kai’s unshakable presence. He refused to be that trembling star, too scared to shine… Soobin did this to him, planting courage in his core. “You know what I think, Soobin?” Yeonjun said, his voice soft but firm, a deliberate calm masking the tremor beneath. “After all these years, you’re still the one who cuts straight to the heart of things… no detours, just a strike to the core.”

Soobin’s lips twitched, a smirk half venomous, half something softer… glinting with the ghost of their shared past. He leaned against the window, the cigarette dangling between his fingers, its smoke curling like a whispered taunt… teasing Yeonjun’s nerves. “I hate circling around, Yeonjun-ah,” he said, his voice smug, slow, laced with irony but heavy with unspoken pain. “Unlike some, I don’t have the patience to dance around what’s real. If you’d stayed long enough, you’d know that.” His words were blades, precise and cutting, but his gaze — searching, almost pleading — betrayed a longing he couldn’t fully hide.

Yeonjun’s jaw tightened, Soobin’s sharpness igniting a spark of defiance. He didn’t want to break Soobin or Kai… not more than he already had, not after a decade of carrying their pain like a hollow shadow… But he felt that same wound, the one Soobin bared so openly. He deserved to push back, to show Soobin he was no longer the boy who crumbled under pressure, who fled their dream’s weight. “Maybe I don’t circle around anymore either,” Yeonjun said, his voice soft but edged with iron… not sharp enough to wound, but firm enough to fan the flames. “Maybe I’ve learned a thing or two about facing reality.”

Soobin’s eyes narrowed, surprise flickering across his striking features. His head tilted, the cigarette glowing brighter with a slow drag, its smoke swirling around his lips like a secret he wouldn’t share. “Oh, really?” he murmured, his tone mocking but fragile, like ice ready to crack. “Facing reality, huh? Funny… because you only show up when the hard part’s over… when we’ve built what you once called a waste of time.”

Yeonjun’s breath hitched, but he held Soobin’s gaze, refusing to let guilt consume him entirely. “I never said it was a waste…” His voice was softer now, almost a whisper, but brimming with sincerity. “I said I couldn’t keep up with you. There’s difference, Soobin.”

For a moment, Soobin froze, his cigarette paused midway to his lips, his eyes scouring Yeonjun’s face… searching for a lie. The room held its breath, the silence taut like a wire stretched between them… lingering.

Kai, quiet and weary, shifted subtly beside him… his enigmatic, controlled smile still in place, but his eyes sharp, watching their exchange like a hawk. Kai’s silence wasn’t from a lack of stake in this tragic tale… it was a choice, granting Yeonjun and Soobin space to sift through the ruins of their past undisturbed… But Yeonjun felt the weight of his gaze, like a gentle hand on his shoulder, urging him to press on.

Soobin let out a short, tired laugh, his voice shattering the tension like stone through glass. “Couldn’t keep up with us…” he echoed, his tone dripping with scorn but heavy with exhaustion. “That’s one way to put it. Another is you left to chase your pretty, polished life, didn’t you? Left us to pick up the broken pieces of your mess.”

Yeonjun’s chest tightened, but he didn’t flinch. “I had my reasons…” he whispered, his words careful, measured, but carrying a weight to match Soobin’s. “And I’ve paid for them. Every day.”

Soobin’s smirk faltered for a second, and Yeonjun saw it… a crack in his impervious armor, a spark of understanding that maybe, just maybe, Yeonjun hadn’t emerged unscathed from their chaos.

Soobin stood straighter… his cigarette — finally, finally — cast out the window with a sharp, deliberate flick. Its ember flared briefly in the night air before vanishing, a fleeting star swallowed by darkness. “Whatever…” Soobin growled under his breath, his voice rough, strained… as if he cared for nothing, but his rigid shoulders told another tale. “I’m done talking in riddles. I need a drink.”

With long, unwavering strides, Soobin crossed the room, his leather boots resounding like a requiem on the floor… then paused before Kai. Without prelude, his hand darted forward, fingers claiming Kai’s jaw with a possessive fervor that stole the breath from Yeonjun’s lungs… drawing him near, bending to align their heights. His lips seized Kai’s with brazen hunger.

The kiss was a deep, ravenous tide… a possessive force etched in the room’s quivering glow… Soobin’s lips pressed fiercely against Kai’s, his frame angled to hold Yeonjun in his piercing gaze. His eyes, half-lidded, glinting with a shadowed spark, slid to Yeonjun mid-kiss… their tongues weaving in a fervent, liquid dance… He watched Yeonjun, probing his expression, waiting, as if challenging him to flinch… This was the raw passion and love between Kai and Soobin… yet a spectacle crafted for Yeonjun, a missive carved in the press of lips and the tilt of Soobin’s head: This is what you left behind… what you’ll couldn’t claim.

Yeonjun’s heart constricted, a sharp, searing ache blossoming within. He longed to tear his eyes away, to shield himself from Kai’s surrender beneath Soobin’s touch… from Kai’s hands, instinctive and sure, finding Soobin’s waist with unyielding certainty. But he was ensnared. Soobin’s stare bound him, a silent indictment whispering of lost chances, of a bond Yeonjun could never fully share… not like Kai and Soobin, twin moons entwined in an eternal dance… untouchable, whole. Yeonjun was ever the star, gazing from a distant orbit, too faint to span the abyss between them… he kept reminding himself.

Kai drew back first, lips parting from Soobin’s with measured grace… the kiss’s trace lingering, wet and luminous. His smile returned, that maddening, enigmatic arc that unmoored Yeonjun’s resolve… Soobin’s smirk flickered at the sight of Kai’s dimples.

Kai shook his head, his eyes flicking to Yeonjun for a fleeting, unreadable moment before settling back on Soobin. “You’re making a scene…” Kai said, his voice light but laced with gentle reproach, his fingers grazing Soobin’s wrist as if to soothe the storm within him. “Go get the drink you need. I’ll stay here for now.”

Soobin exhaled, a sound half-laugh, half-scoff… but his gaze lingered on Yeonjun a moment longer, searching for a crack in his composed facade. “Yeah, fine…” he said, his voice low, almost a growl.

Soobin turned and strode to the door… pulling the handle down, the door swinging open, but Soobin, with his towering frame and absolute allure, didn’t move… His hand visibly tightened around the silver handle. “Choi Yeonjun.” Yeonjun’s breath caught. Soobin’s voice was cold… colder than ever, a tone that warned his next words were no jest. “If you’re going to disappear again, don’t ever come back. Because next time, I’ll kill you with my own hands… I promise you that.” And then he was gone… his silhouette framed briefly in the corridor’s dim light… the door closed behind him, and Yeonjun felt the room’s weight shift.

Kai’s presence filled Soobin’s void, warm and steadfast but no less perilous. He stepped closer to Yeonjun, his smile softening but still enigmatic, like a riddle wrapped in starlight. How did his lips never tire of that smile? Why was Yeonjun the only one to see it? Why didn’t Kai smile like this for anyone else? Why?

“He’s not as angry as he seems…” Kai said softly, his voice an anchor in the storm. “He’s just… Soobin. You know how he is.”

Yeonjun nodded… his throat tight, his eyes still burning with the image of that kiss. “I know…” His voice was barely above a whisper, managing to string words together without betraying the desire swirling within him. “But he’s not wrong, is he? I left. I made that choice.”

Kai’s smile wavered for a moment, and Yeonjun glimpsed something beneath… perhaps sorrow, or a longing that mirrored his own. “Choices are never as simple as they seem…” Kai admitted. “You had your reasons. We had ours for going on without you. But you’re here now, Yeonjun… That’s what matters. You don’t have to explain anything… not until you’re ready.”

Yeonjun wanted to believe him, to let Kai’s words wash away the guilt clinging to him like smoke. But Soobin’s stare, the memory of that kiss, and the echo of his own words from a decade ago — absurd, a waste of time — chained him to the past. He forced a small, warm smile, swallowing hard. “I’m trying, Kai.” His voice was hollow but honest. “I’m trying to be here.”

Kai’s eyes softened, and for a moment, Yeonjun thought he might reach out, might bridge their distance with a touch. But Kai only turned his head toward the window… his hand curling around Yeonjun’s arm, and with that warmth, Yeonjun found calm. “Then stay…” he said simply, his voice a gentle challenge. “Just… stay.” And Yeonjun wanted to heed him.

He wanted to believe in the fate that had brought the three of them face-to-face once more.

࿇࿇࿇

As Yeonjun stepped out from the club, the city was steeped in a distant, murmuring haze, the night’s cool breath grazing his cheeks like a fleeting apology. His footsteps reverberated on the cobblestone, each a quiet act of defiance, a subtle lure whispering for him to glance back—to see if Kai had slipped from the room, drawn to Soobin’s shadow… or if Soobin’s piercing gaze could cut through the throng to hunt him down. The weight of the night — its raw exchanges, its draining cacophony of voices and chaos — clung to his skin like a second pulse, heavy as the cigarette smoke Soobin exhaled, curling around him, clouding his thoughts… a restless wraith unwilling to dissolve.

He unlocked his car and slid into the driver’s seat, his sigh a frail whisper against the tempest roiling in his chest. With the last flickers of strength left in his bones, he steered toward home…

The city’s glow bled through the open window, streaks of gold and neon weaving life into the night’s dark canvas… but Yeonjun’s mind lingered elsewhere, anchored in the dim-lit room he’d abandoned. Soobin’s sharp, haunting beauty gnawed at his thoughts like a relentless tide—those stark lines of his face, his merciless, almond eyes that pierced to the soul’s core. Soobin’s allure was a sudden ambush, searing itself into memory, both fearsome and achingly magnetic.

Soobin in that kiss was a storm, devouring, ruthless yet laced with sweetness… possessive, untamed. A kiss that would never loose Yeonjun from its grip.

And then Kai… ever there, his beauty a soft, disorienting current that crept into your mind, unraveling restraint… drowning you in the shadowed depths of his gaze before you could grasp your fall. Lost, with no path to return. His enigmatic smile, his unyielding stare, coiled around Yeonjun… a velvet noose, gentle yet suffocating.

Kai had melted seamlessly into Soobin’s kiss… yielding to those unyielding hands without a whisper of resistance. When Soobin’s fingers claimed his face, when his lips stole his breath, Kai didn’t waver—he flowed into it, a rhythm honed by years entwined, a love fierce and unshakable.

Yeonjun should have felt shame… for the desires that flared as he watched Kai and Soobin’s kiss, igniting a reckless spark within… but with a selfish ache clawing his heart, he yearned for a place between them. Wished that when Soobin drew back from Kai, Yeonjun would be next. Wished Kai’s gaze, alight with that raw hunger for Soobin, would turn to him.

But reality was a bitter tide, and Yeonjun had no choice but to let it crash over him.

Yet Kai’s eyes, when they met his, seemed to see the storm raging in Yeonjun’s heart, knew how their presence seared him with a longing he had no right to claim.

Jealousy Kaik its claws into him then, a jagged, ugly blade that stained his very being.

He parked in his garage and stepped out, dragging himself toward the stairs with a distracted weight, each step heavier than the last, as if the past tugged at his heels. He opened the door, stepping into the warm, familiar embrace of his apartment… a haven where he could finally exhale, shedding the armor of composure. Here, he didn’t need to stand resolute… The silence was jarring, a stark foil to the club’s throbbing pulse.

He kicked off his shoes, tossing them aside with careless abandon… moving like a specter toward the bathroom. The mirror reflected a face faintly foreign—eyes weary, brows knit, pupils trembling under the weight of tonight’s words. After what he’d done… after voicing truths he hadn’t meant to bare, he felt vulnerable… as if he’d left his soul exposed to the world, his churning emotions laid bare for judgment.

Yet… neither Soobin nor Kai had scorned him. Despite the shadows he carried, Soobin, in his veiled way, had urged him to return… Kai had asked him to stay, warm and unfeigned.

He turned on the faucet, splashing cold water across his face… its sharp chill a fleeting balm, quieting his exhaustion for a breath.

Lifting his head, he dried his face with deliberate care, and in the mirror, he glimpsed the ghost of that boy from ten years past… still there, wounded and fragile… desolate, alone, his eyes crying out his inadequacy.

Yeonjun had broken that boy.

In his room, he pulled out his phone and typed a message to his sister. 
‘I’m home.’

Jisoo’s rely came immediately. ‘Good, Oppa. Don’t overthink it—just sleep, okay? Night.’

A smile touched his lips… a soft light piercing the shadows that encircled him.

He swapped his clothes for soft sweats and Kaik onto his bed, eyes tracing the stark white ceiling… but his thoughts spun like a restless tide.

Kai had said, “Stay,” and for the first time, Yeonjun wanted to grasp those words tightly.

Maybe staying wasn’t so impossible… maybe if he didn’t flee again, Soobin and Kai wouldn’t shatter…

Sleep weighed heavy on his lids… teetering on the edge of dreams, as the world dimmed, Yeonjun drew a deep breath and resolved to give fate another chance… to give himself, and the broken boy still alive within, a new dawn. This time, to live for himself… because if he ran again, he couldn’t bear the crushing weight of that guilt!!

Outside, the city murmured softly… a tender lullaby, a strange vow for a heart that, at last, was beginning to pulse anew.