Chapter Text
As a man of a certain age and neurotype, I start my days scrolling social media.
At least, that’s the habit when I wake up alone at home - turn off my alarm, grounding exercises to remind myself the nightmares aren’t real, stare at the ceiling in existential dread for a few minutes, then start scrolling.
When I wake up with Tim, there’s usually something much more interesting immediately available, because there are perks to dating a nocturnal vigilante - namely, that his idea of “winding down after work” often includes a 6am blowjob, very enthusiastically enacted upon my sleeping person. With my full and previously-established consent, of course.
The day after we get back from our rare spontaneous adventure to San Francisco, I wake up alone at home. Fueled by alcohol and then a hangover, my nightmares were much worse the past two nights, so I’m not exactly chipper. After the existential dread step of my morning routine, I check my notifications to see what’s interesting.
A lot of it is more of the usual - Snap streaks with people I barely know anymore, reels and stories from pages I follow, one new TikTok notification from CryptidHuntersUK - but one catches my eye.
#Queer Icon Superboy
Based on your activity, you might be interested in this trending tag
As I click on it, I think to myself, okay Tumblr, show me what you’ve got.
The latest posts with the tag are digital paintings of Kon wearing a rainbow flag as a cape, speculation on the sexuality of major capes, and a lot of shippers losing their minds in the tags of their own posts. So, a normal day on Tumblr. Over on Instagram, Kon is featured in selfies posted to a half dozen different Instagram accounts, all at night, all clearly during Pride celebrations.
I find what I’m pretty sure is the inciting incident of the whole thing: a headline from the San Francisco Herald reading, “Titans’ Superboy Defends Pride Celebrations”. The article itself is behind a paywall, but armed with search terms, I do what any self-respecting Millennial or Bat-boyfriend would, and start Internet sleuthing.
I find several shaky phone videos on TikTok and YouTube, and back on Tumblr, one neurodivergent angel has compiled them into a multi-angle cinematic.
It starts with some asshole protestors, carrying all the hateful signs they like to lug around with them, and standing directly outside the Civic Center. In the video, some people at the event are getting in their faces, and it looks like it’s about to get ugly. Then, everyone is looking up, and the camera follows to see Kon dropping slowly out of the dark sky.
He lands gracefully on one foot and pops a hip out to plant a hand casually on his hip. A camera from behind him has a phenomenal view of the way his ass and thigh move with that, and I am distracted for several seconds.
“Hey there, babes.” It’s weird to hear Superboy talk to the public, like hearing a friend use their perky customer service voice for the first time. I’ve gotten used to an authentic vulnerability from him in most of the time that we’ve spent together, but now he sounds cocky, almost bored. “What say we all disperse before things get out of hand?”
A particularly brave or stupid protestor steps forward with a sign that says some pretty hateful shit, but in colors arranged to look like the bisexual pride flag. “C’mon man, don’t pretend you’re on their side. The Supers should be defending decent Americans from these queers!”
Only a few of his comrades cheer, the rest seeming to step back and have smarter opinions about talking back to a Kryptonian, for fuck’s sake.
Kon’s entire attitude shifts at that response. All casual friendliness gone, he hovers up a few feet off the ground, arms crossed - and oh my gods, does he know what his biceps do when he strikes that pose? Distantly, I recognize this pose as the reference for some of the art I saw earlier. His eyes flare red for a few seconds, and it casts this haunting glow over his tanned face that is…
I mean, honestly, for the homophobes, it’s clearly terrifying, because they all scurry off to the cheers of the crowd shortly after, but I rewind it no less than six times because that is just sincerely hot as fuck.
In continuation of a conversation that I’ve been having on and off with Tim for about a week now, I send the link to the post with the video, along with text
I AM FUCKING TELLING YOU MAN 🦸🏻🏳️🌈
Tim replies back quickly with the same level of enthusiasm I’ve gotten at every turn on this topic.
Hon, it is literally his job. He was stationed in SF to do exactly that.
Which, okay, fair. Duty and all.
But I am not going to stop trying to convince Tim that Superboy isn’t as straight as he thinks he is. As straight as Tim thinks he is, I mean. Well, I don’t know the guy all that well, so Kon may also not be as straight as Kon thinks he is, but I’m not dating Kon, so. I mean–
Like, I would if I could.
Just to be clear.