Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

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Korean words and phrases used in the fic - what they mean in English (according to Google.com):

Jagiya = honey
Saranghamnida, ae-in = I love you, sweetheart
Neh sarang = My love
Saranghae = I love you
Saranghae, jagiya = I love you, honey
Naneun dangsineul mucheok saranghamnida = I love you very much
Nan dangsin-eul salang = I love you
Annyeonghi jumuseyo = Good night
Ae-in = sweetheart
Oppa = what a female calls an older brother or beloved (male)
Sunbae = refers to people with more experience (at work, school, etc).
Hoobae = refers to people with less experience (at work, school, etc). Generally, hoobaes have to use jondaetmal (존댓말, honorific language) to sunbaes, meaning they have to speak very politely and treat them with respect.
Yobo = darling, sweetheart
Saranghamnida = I love you
Nanun geu reul saranghamnida = I love him or I love her
Dangshini joayo = I like you
Magnae = baby (used in the K-pop world to refer to the youngest member in an idol group)
Hyung-nim = what a younger male calls an older brother or older male
Ahwoo-nim = younger brother
Yes = Ye (formal) / Ne (informal)
No = Aniyo
Jal-ga-yo, neh sarang = Goodbye, my love
Nan yeong-wonhi dangsin-eul salang hago geulae = I will love you forever
Unni = what a younger female calls an older sister or female
Noona = what a male calls an older female that is like family
Dangsin eul-salang = I love you, dear
Nan ajigdo dangsin-eul salang = I still love you

~*~

Chapter One

Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin's luxury apartment
Imperial Apartments Complex
KangNam District, Seoul, South Korea

Early Autumn...

"Heyyy, Yuuunnndol! Dinner's readyyy...!" Coming out of the kitchen, Shim Changmin's sing-songy voice trailed off when he noticed his best friend/band mate was no longer in the living room watching TV. Frowning in concern, he went in search for the older man.

It didn't take Changmin long to find Jung Yunho. Yunho was in his bedroom kneeling beside his bed with his face buried in the mattress, his hands gripping the bed sheets so hard his knuckles had turned white. His whole body was shaking as tiny, muffled whimpers spilled from his lips. Changmin stood in the doorway of Yunho's bedroom and watched helplessly as his friend wept. There had only been a few times in the nine years Changmin had known Yunho that he had seen Yunho cry. Yunho wasn't one to cry much because he was always so upbeat, positive and happy. Changmin wondered what was causing Yunho to cry now when everything career-wise was going so well for them. 'Has something happened with his family?' Changmin thought worriedly. Yunho's close-knit family consisted of a loving father, mother and younger sister. Yunho was extremely close to his family - as was Changmin extremely close to his own family which consisted of a loving father, mother and two younger sisters. Yunho and Changmin's careers as K-pop idols kept both TVXQ members so busy that sometimes weeks or months would go by before they saw their respective families, but their families supported their careers and were very understanding of the limited time they had with the idols. As a result of Yunho and Changmin's deep friendship, the Jung Family and the Shim Family were extremely close too, thus making the family unit for both young men an even bigger supportive family for the both of them. If anything bad happened to either family both young men would be devastated.

Becoming very concerned now and fearing that something may have happened with Yunho's family, Changmin entered the bedroom and walked over to where Yunho was and knelt down beside the weeping man. He touched Yunho's back and asked worriedly, "Yunho, what's wrong? Why are you crying? What's happened? Has something happened with your family? Oh, God, I hope not." Changmin knew how deeply Yunho loved his family for Changmin loved his own family just as deeply. When Yunho didn't answer him, Changmin rubbed his back and stroked his hair soothingly then asked again, "Yunho, what's wrong? You seemed okay an hour ago. What's wrong? What's happened? Did something happen with your family? Tell me, please." When Yunho failed again to answer him, Changmin pulled Yunho back from the bed, then he gathered Yunho into his arms and held Yunho close as Yunho sobbed against his shoulder, dampening his shirt.

Yunho was weeping so hard his whole body shook. This brought tears to Changmin's eyes, and he rocked Yunho gently as he soothed softly, "Ssshhh...it's okay, Yunho. It's okay. Whatever's happened, we'll get through it together okay? Don't cry. Ssshhh...don't cry. Tell me what's wrong. What's upset you? Is it your father? Your mother? Your sister? Tell me, Yunho, tell me, please. Ooh, Yunho, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Changmin's voice sounded watery now as his own tears began to spill down his face. Yunho's weeping wasn't very loud, but it was heart-wrenching, tugging at Changmin's heart strings.

Blinking his eyes in an attempt to stop his own tears, Changmin looked around Yunho's bedroom, searching for a clue as to why this usually happy man was crying his heart out. And then Changmin saw it. It was on Yunho's iPad. A news article about Yunho. Changmin reached for the iPad and drew it close to him so that he could read the article. The article was about the crazy anti-fan, Soria Kim, who had poisoned Yunho four years ago when she gave him a bottle of water laced with Super Glue because she hated him. Unaware of what the girl had done, Yunho trustingly drank the water. He became violently ill after drinking it and almost died. At the time of the attack, TVXQ had still been a five-member group but with problems beginning to arise that eventually broke up the group into two different bands - Yunho and Changmin remaining as TVXQ, and Kim Jaejoong, Park Yoochun and Kim Junsu becoming JYJ. The crazy anti-fan was arrested for what she did to Yunho and was sent to prison, but because of her young age she received a short sentence and would be eligible for parole this year. She would be released tomorrow morning and she had given an exclusive interview to the press about how glad she was about being paroled and how she still hated Yunho but swore she would not go near him again. The way she talked about her hatred for Yunho in the article was chilling.

'Thank God your family's okay, but you're not. No wonder you're crying,' Changmin thought as he tightened his arms around Yunho. 'Soria Kim almost killed you four years and now she's going to be paroled tomorrow morning despite your pleas to the court to not parole her just yet. She still hates you. Ooh, baby, I'm so sorry.'

Kissing Yunho's temple, Changmin soothed, "Ooh, Yunho, I'm so sorry. You must be scared out of your mind. I won't let that bitch within ten feet of you. We'll beef up security around us so that she can't try something. Don't be afraid, Yunho. I'll keep you safe. And not everyone hates you. You have thousands of fans that love you and adore you. And you have your family, my family and me. We all love you and adore you so very much. So don't be afraid, my friend, and don't let Soria Kim hurt you anymore. You're going to be all right. I swear, you're going to be all right."

Drawing back, Changmin cupped Yunho's face in his hands and gently forced Yunho to look at him. The hurt and fear in Yunho's beautiful, tearful black eyes ripped a hole in Changmin's heart. Tears began rolling down Changmin's face again as he whispered, "I won't let Soria Kim or anyone else hurt you. Don't be afraid. I'll keep you safe. I promise, I'll keep you safe."

Yunho looked like a frightened little boy as he gasped rawly, "She's going to be free tomorrow! She still hates me! She's going to come after me again and I can't stop her!"

"She won't get close to you. I won't let her. I'll call Management tomorrow morning and demand they beef up security. And you know I'll be by your side 24/7 so she won't be able to get near you. Just trust me, okay? I won't let her or anyone else hurt you, okay?" Changmin reassured. He then brushed away the tears from Yunho's face and kissed Yunho's forehead gently. "Now let's go eat dinner before it gets cold. I slaved all afternoon cooking it, and I don't want my efforts to go to waste. So let's go eat. I'm starving and you probably are too."

He stood up, pulling Yunho up to stand too. But when he started for the bedroom door, Yunho hung back and shook his head wildly. "What, Yunho? What's wrong?" Changmin asked in concern.

"I...I don't wanna leave my room. And...I need to call my family. I'm sure they saw the article and are worried sick about me," Yunho whispered as he wrapped his arms about himself in a protective manner. His gaze was wrought with fear.

"Okay," Changmin said, realizing that Yunho viewed his bedroom as the safest place for him to be in right now. Changmin thought quickly of what to do to get Yunho to eat dinner. Then he snapped his fingers and said, "How about we have dinner in here? That way you can stay in here and feel safe and eat your dinner too. And I'll eat in here with you so you won't have to eat alone. Would that be okay?" He looked hopefully at Yunho.

Yunho hesitated for a moment then nodded his head.

"Great!" Changmin said, smiling brightly. Then he grew serious as he reached up and stroked Yunho's tear-stained cheek. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again," he promised softly. "I'll be back in a few minutes with dinner. Call your family." He leaned over and kissed Yunho's forehead again. "I love you," he whispered. Then he hurried out of the bedroom to go get dinner.

Yunho stood staring after Changmin for several seconds. He knew he was blessed to have such a good and understanding best friend - a best friend that he was hopelessly in love with. He suspected that Changmin was in love with him too because Changmin was always saying now those three little words that mean so much and carry so much power; but neither of them had talked yet about their love for each other changing from best friend/brotherly love to romantic love. 'Maybe it's time we discuss it,' Yunho thought gravely. Then he got a tissue from the tissue box on the nightstand beside his bed and wiped the tears from his face before he spotted his iPad again. The article about Soria Kim was still showing. He picked up the iPad and touch-close the web browser so that the article disappeared. He didn't want to read it again; he wanted to forget about it. He laid his iPad on the nightstand, then he called his family to let them know he was okay before he went over to the small table in a corner of his room and prepared the table for dinner.

~*~

A while later...

Changmin watched as Yunho picked at his meal of Tak Toritang (spicy chicken drumettes and potatoes mixed with carrots and onion in a spicy brown sauce served with white rice). "Would you like something else to eat? I could make you something else or call for take-out," Changmin suggested in concern.

"No, this is good. I like it a lot. I just have a lot on my mind right now," Yunho muttered sadly, and Changmin longed to make Yunho smile and be happy again.

"Did you call your family?" Changmin asked, and Yunho nodded yes. "Did they know about Soria Kim being paroled tomorrow morning?" Yunho nodded again yes. "Are they worried about your safety?"

Again Yunho nodded yes then said, "But I told them that security will be beefed up around me so they're okay now," Yunho said as he continued picking at his dinner. "They can't believe Soria Kim will be paroled tomorrow morning after they and I pleaded with the courts not to parole her. I can't believe it either." His voice sounded hollow, devoid of its usual cheerfulness.

"I can't believe it either too," Changmin said. "My mother called me before I got dinner on our plates. She and Appa and the brats saw the article and they wanted to make sure you were okay and that I'm taking good care you. I told her that you are okay and safe and sound with me. I assured her that I wouldn't let anything happen to you." Changmin stared intently at Yunho and said firmly, "I mean that, Yunho. I won't let anything happen to you."

Yunho felt his cheeks blush slightly at the intensity of Changmin's gaze. "I appreciate your concern for me. But I'm a grown man; I can take care of myself," Yunho said a bit stubbornly, a bit independently, sounding every bit like the fearless leader that he was of their band.

"I know you're a grown man and can take care of yourself. Just indulge me, okay? Let me take care of you. I promised my mother I would, and I don't want to break my promise to her," Changmin insisted seriously; his gaze staring even more intensely at Yunho.

Yunho felt butterfly wings flutter in his stomach at the intensity of Changmin's gaze. Averting his own gaze from Changmin's, Yunho muttered, "Okay. Wouldn't want you breaking your promise to your wonderful, sweet mother."

"Thank you," Changmin said seriously. As he continued eating his dinner, he watched as Yunho continued picking as his dinner.

After a few minutes of deafening silence, Changmin crammed food into his mouth before deciding he couldn't take the silence anymore. Dinnertime was usually a very lively time for them as Yunho chatted up a storm about this and that, and Changmin listened elatedly to everything his hyung said. This eerie silence between them right now was grating on Changmin's nerves. But before Changmin could swallow his food and ask Yunho again if he wanted something else to eat, Yunho put down his chopsticks and said seriously to Changmin, "We need to talk about something."

Changmin swallowed the food in his mouth then laid his chopsticks aside before asking, "What is it you want to talk about?" He figured that Yunho wanted to talk more about Soria Kim.

Yunho was quiet for a long moment as he stared at Changmin; then he took a deep breath and expelled it before saying, "We need to talk about our feelings, Minnie. I think our feelings for each other have changed...and we need to talk them."

Changmin looked stunned. "Our feelings? Our feelings for each other?" he repeated bewilderedly.

"Yes, our feelings for each other," Yunho said a bit tersely. His nerves were on edge right now because of Soria Kim. He looked intently at Changmin. "For several weeks now you've told me at least once every day if not more that...you love me."

Changmin blushed shyly. "Yeah, I have. It's because I do, and I don't ever want you wondering how much you mean to me."

"What kind of love is it, Minnie?" Yunho asked.

Changmin looked befuddled. "Aah...what do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me. You know what I mean," Yunho retorted sternly.

Changmin was quiet for a long moment as he toyed with his napkin. "I was hoping you would say those words back to me before we...had this talk," he said quietly. He suddenly felt very vulnerable and very exposed and had no clue as to how Yunho really felt about him. It was scary, feeling so vulnerable and so exposed and so uncertain about the relationship he had with Yunho.

Yunho saw the vulnerability, the uncertainty in Changmin's chocolate-brown gaze and his heart clenched with worry for the younger man. "There's a reason why I haven't said those words to you yet," he explained to Changmin. "Because those words may mean something different to me, and I don't say those words lightly."

"Neither do I. When I say those words to you, I mean them. From the bottom of my heart, I mean them," Changmin said earnestly.

"But what do those words mean to you?" Yunho's gaze searched Changmin's gaze. "Do you love me as a friend/brother...or as something more?"

"Do you love me as a friend/brother or something more?" Changmin asked.

Yunho chuckled dryly. He should've known Changmin would be difficult about this. The little brat loved to be difficult. "I asked you first."

"Well I want to hear your answer first before I give you mine," Changmin challenged; a slight smirk on his gorgeous face.

Yunho fumed for a second, then he asked Changmin boldly, "Have you ever been in love before?"

Changmin looked thoughtful for a moment; then he smiled brightly and said, "As a matter of fact, yeah, I have been in love before."

"Oh." Yunho hadn't expected that answer. He thought he knew everything about Changmin. 'I guess I don't,' he thought to himself. Out loud he asked, "Umm...who was she?"

"Not a she; a he," Changmin corrected. "And have you ever been in love before?"

"Umm...who was he?" Yunho asked, pretending not to have heard Changmin's question. Yunho hoped Changmin hadn't been in love with Jaejoong, Yoochun or Junsu because that would mean one of them broke Changmin's heart when the three of them turned their backs on Changmin and Yunho three years ago. Plus it would mean that if Changmin had been in love with Jaejoong...then Changmin and Yunho had been in love with the same man at the same time. Not good at all.

"I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. It wasn't any of the backstabbers," Changmin said with a touch of bitterness. His disdain for Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu was just as strong now as it had been when the three backstabbers had abandoned him and Yunho three years ago.

Yunho sighed in relief, thankful that he was the only idiot who had been in love with Jaejoong. "That's good to know. Was it Yesung?" Yunho asked.

"Eww, no! He's like a brother to me!" Changmin exclaimed.

"Kyuhyun?" Yunho then queried.

"Eww, no again! He's like a brother to me too! Plus he and Yesung are seeing each other!" Changmin exclaimed again.

"They are? I didn't know that. It's about time. It obvious they're crazy about each other," Yunho said in delighted surprise. Then he inquired carefully, "Well, I know it wasn’t Siwon because he’s in love with Leeteuk and has been for eons now, and it couldn't have been Leeteuk because he's too scared to be involved with Siwon, let alone you or me or anyone else. I hope he gives Siwon a chance soon. It couldn't have been Heechul and Eunhyuk because they’ve been together since long before our band downsized to just the two of us; and it couldn't have been Ryeowook or Donghae because they only have eyes for each other even though they aren’t dating right now because of Donghae’s mistake that he’s truly sorry about. I hope they get back together soon - it’s already been two years since the mistake, and it’s obvious they’re meant for each other. I know Ryeowook has forgiven Donghae, but I guess it takes time to heal from that kind of hurt. And it couldn't have been Jay or Jungmo because they have girlfriends and have been dating them, respectively, for five years now. So, Changminnie...who was it? Minho or Taemin?"

"Eww! No! They're like brothers to me too! I'm not into incest! And I think they like each other!" Changmin shouted this time in horror.

Yunho looked Changmin dead in the eyes. "Then what are you into?" he asked seriously.

Changmin smiled brightly again and deadpanned, "You, honey bunny. I'm into you. Have been for years now."

Yunho swallowed hard as his heart began beating fast, and he blushed pink at the new pet name Changmin had come up with for him; the pet name no doubt a play on a song title on their last album called *Honey Funny Bunny*. What Yunho had thought, what he had been longing for, for quite some time now was true: Changmin was in love with him. his conscience told him.

"Yunho...I'm in love with you," Changmin whispered soulfully, casting away any lingering doubts Yunho might've had of Changmin's feelings for him. "Have been for more years than I can count, but my feelings for you grew stronger after the backstabbers left us. Suddenly, I had you all to myself and I didn't have to share you with anyone anymore. My feelings for you grew stronger as we started rebuilding our careers and re-inventing TVXQ/Tohoshinki into a duo. My feelings for you deepened to the point that I couldn't ignore them anymore. It got to the point where I was dreaming about you every night. I would dream we would confess our love to each other and then I would kiss you and..." Changmin blushed wildly in embarrassment. "...I would dream I would make love to you...dream of you coming apart in my arms as you cried out my name in ecstasy."

It suddenly got very, very warm in Yunho's bedroom. "Umm...I've never been intimate with anyone," Yunho confessed softly. "I wanted to wait until I found the right person."

"I know. I've never been intimate with anyone either. I wanted to wait until I found out you felt the same way for me." Changmin saw how startled Yunho was by his confession and hoped that shock grew into joy very soon. "We're both virgins and I'm thrilled about that because that means we're both clean and healthy and we won't be carrying the extra baggage of former lovers into bed with us when we do finally make love together. We'll learn together how to make love and experience the joy of it together," Changmin said seriously.

It was now Yunho's turn to blush shyly. "Umm...I didn't say I was in love with you," he mumbled shyly.

"Not yet you haven't," Changmin said boldly.

Yunho stared at him in shock.

"You also haven't answered my question," Changmin then said.

Yunho frowned. "What question?" he asked.

"The one about being in love before? Have you ever been in love before?" Changmin asked again.

Yunho lowered his gaze from Changmin's before murmuring, "Umm...yes. I've...been in love before."

That confession took Changmin by surprise. He blinked, totally stunned. Then he cleared his throat and asked, "Umm...who was she?"

"Not she. He," Yunho murmured.

Changmin looked confused; then he laughed and said, "Oh, I get it now, it's me! You've been in love before because you're in love with me!" He shook his finger at Yunho and laughed again. "You got me there! You just used my own joke on me! Clever, honey bunny, clever!"

Yunho wasn't laughing at all as he stared solemnly at Changmin.

Changmin stopped laughing when he noticed the severity of Yunho's stare. "What?" he asked worriedly. He leaned across the table and gripped Yunho's hand in his own. "Yunho, who was he? Did he hurt you?" he asked in concern.

"No," Yunho murmured. "He was unaware of my feelings for him. He only saw me as a friend. As...a brother." He waited for Changmin to figure out who *he* was.

Changmin racked his brain for a long moment trying to figure out who *he* was. He thought about everyone Yunho was friends with; everyone Yunho was close to. His gaze narrowed as he grated stiffly, "It was Jaejoong, wasn't it?"

Yunho nodded, and Changmin swore under his breath and muttered something about kicking Jaejoong's ass. "He never knew, Minnie," Yunho insisted. "He had no clue about my true feelings for him. I never told him. And he never felt the same way for me. He was too involved with Yoochun and Junsu to notice I had feelings for him." It was common knowledge with Yunho and Changmin that Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu were more than just friends/band mates. Their love triangle had begun long before TVXQ was formed; it had begun during their trainee days. However, both Yunho and Changmin had safeguarded the love triangle so that no one outside of them and the love triangle ever knew or suspected that Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu were romantically involved with each other. As far as Yunho and Changmin knew, the love triangle was still going on and was stronger than ever.

"But you and Jaejoong were close - very close. You two were best friends before you and I became best friends. You two spent a lot of time together as best friends. How he never figured out you were in love with him is beyond my understanding. When he left us...he hurt you in ways that go a lot deeper than the loss of a friendship. You were in love with him. He broke your heart," Changmin muttered stiffly. "Damn that bastard!"

"Changmin, he didn't know about my feelings for him. And even if he had, it wouldn't have made a difference. He was too wrapped up in Yoochun and Junsu and their dreams to be concerned with me," Yunho said. "Besides...I didn't want to come between him and Yoochun and Junsu. It was obvious to me that Jaejoong loved Yoochun and Junsu very much. And they loved him very much too."

"But you were in love with him too and he hurt you! I wanna tear him apart for hurting you!" Changmin snarled angrily.

"But he didn't know about my feelings for him! He didn't know how deeply he hurt me!" Yunho exclaimed in panic. His gaze held Changmin's gaze. "Please don't go after him, Minnie," he implored pleadingly. "He didn't know and I don't want him to know - ever. Plus we can't have any contact with him and the other two. Our agency forbids us to have contact with them. So leave it be. It's in the past. Leave it there."

Changmin cursed under his breath; then he nodded his head, agreeing to leave well enough alone. He calmed himself down; then he said to Yunho, "I won't mess with him." His voice softened as he squeezed Yunho's hand. He could see the pain in Yunho's eyes. "I'm sorry, Yunnie. I'm sorry he broke your heart."

"He didn't know, Minnie. I'm glad he didn't know. It would've made things more difficult had he known," Yunho muttered. Then he leaned forward and squeezed Changmin's hand and said, "I'm not in love with him anymore. He killed my love for him when he walked away from us." He let go of Changmin's hand and settled back in his chair again.

"Glad to hear I have no competition," Changmin said tartly. Then he became serious again as he asked, "Why didn't you tell me before now, Yunho? I thought I knew everything about you."

"I was afraid to tell you. Afraid that...you wouldn't want to remain my best friend if you knew I was in love with someone of the same sex...and that someone was a band mate of ours," Yunho admitted truthfully.

"I didn't stop being friends with the backstabbers when I learned of their romance; why would I stop being friends with you for being in love with Jaejoong? I supported and protected their romance. I would've supported and protected your feelings for Jaejoong too; may have even helped you either win his heart or get over him. I hope you know now that I'll always be your best friend no matter what. And I'd look like an idiot ending my friendship with you because you had feelings for a guy. I had feelings for you back then," Changmin chastised and reassured gently.

"I know now that you wouldn't have ended our friendship because of my feelings for Jaejoong. Thank you," Yunho said softly.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Yunho. Nothing," Changmin pledged sincerely.

"Same here," Yunho pledged back.

They were quiet for a long moment, staring at each other with their souls in their eyes. Then Yunho asked, "So...you had feelings for me way back then?"

Changmin nodded and smiled. "Sure did. I think from the moment I met you nine years ago I was half-way in love with you. The feeling grew stronger after the backstabbers left and I had you all to myself. I didn't have to compete for your attention anymore. Plus you comforted me when the backstabbers left." Changmin's voice lowered to a husky rasp as he said, "I would cry at night because I was so hurt by what they did to us, and you would hear me and come comfort me. You would hold me until I fell asleep. I would feel your lips kissing my forehead before you would leave me. I would look forward to those nights when you comforted me. Your tenderness and compassion made me fall hopelessly in love with you."

The truth of Changmin's words glowed in Changmin's chocolate-brown eyes, causing Yunho to avert his ebony-colored gaze as shyness and uncertainty knotted in his gut.

Changmin saw Yunho's shyness and uncertainty and longed to pull the older man into his arms and comfort Yunho. Deciding against doing that because he sensed that Yunho might not want a hug from him right now, Changmin asked instead, "So...about me. Umm...do you have feelings for me, Yunho? Feelings that go way beyond friendship with me?"

"Are you asking me am I in love with you?" Yunho asked carefully.

Changmin nodded eagerly.

Yunho smiled and whispered, "Yes, Changmin. I'm in love with you. Have been for two years now."

Changmin couldn't help pumping his fist in the air as he yelped for joy. Yunho beamed with joy over how happy he had just made Changmin. Then Changmin grew serious again as he asked Yunho hesitantly but boldly, "Tell me, Yunho...have you ever dreamed about me? Have you ever dreamed about...making love with me?"

Yunho's joyful smile turned into a deep blush as he muttered embarrassedly, "That's a little too personal for you to ask me, don't you think?"

"If we didn't tell each other everything it would be a little too personal for me to ask you that and expect an answer - even though you neglected to tell me about your first crush, but that's okay, I forgive you - " Changmin started.

"Thanks...I think," Yunho interrupted with a chuckle.

" - but since we do tell each other everything because we're best friends, I don't think it's out of line for me to ask you that question - especially now that I know you feel the same way about me as I feel about you," Changmin continued. Then his gaze narrowed. "Now answer the question. Have you ever dreamed about making love with me?" He stared expectantly at Yunho.

Yunho looked away from Changmin before blushing even more and muttering, "Yes. I have."

"How often?"

Yunho looked in shock at Changmin. "Changmin!"

"Hey! I told you I dream about making love with you! I dream every night about making love with you! I wake up so damn hard in the morning I have to jerk off before I can get out of bed!"

"Changmin!"

"And I cry out your name when I come! And I'm falling deeper and deeper in love with you every time I dream about you! Or look at you! Or spend time with you! Or when I'm working with you! When I cook for you I find myself wanting to make the perfect meal for you because I love you! I wanna make you happy! I wanna make you smile so much that your face hurts! I wanna be the most important person in your life! I wanna kiss you so bad my lips ache! And I wanna make you feel good; make you cry out my name as you come against me! I wanna hear you say 'Changmin, I love you' !" Tears were falling from Changmin's eyes now as he bared his soul to Yunho.

Silence reign for several moments after Changmin's confession; both men staring at each other. Then Yunho slid his hands across the table and took hold of Changmin's hands. Squeezing Changmin's hands and caressing the smooth knuckles with his thumbs, Yunho caught and held Changmin's gaze. "Changmin...I love you," Yunho confessed softly; the truth of his words shining in his black eyes. He felt Changmin grip his hands tightly; felt Changmin tremble slightly. The look on Changmin's gorgeous face was one of total adoration and he could tell Changmin was finding it hard to contain his joy. "I've been in love with you for two years now. After everything we've been through with the others leaving us and the lawsuits that resulted from their departure, to us learning how to live on our own together, to us learning how to be a two-member group instead of five...I wasn't too surprised when my feelings for you deepened into a romantic love. I still love you as my best friend and as a brother...but I love you as a lover too." Yunho smiled that sweet, innocent smile of his, showing off those beautiful pearly-white teeth of his. Changmin felt himself melting at the sight of that gorgeous smile. "I wanted to tell you before now but...I wasn't sure how you'd react. Because if we pursue this...things will change between us forever," Yunho cautioned seriously.

"How so?" Changmin asked wryly as he laced their fingers together and held on tightly, as if he were afraid Yunho would vanish from sight.

"Well, for starters, it will strengthen our bond of friendship," Yunho said.

"That's a good thing, right?" Changmin asked hopefully.

"Yes, it is. It will also make us mindful of each other's wants, needs and desires," Yunho said.

"Now that sounds really good!" Changmin grinned brightly, causing Yunho to chuckle.

"We'll have to answer to each other; be considerate of each other's feelings. We can't go running off to do something without discussing it with each other first. That's what committed lovers do," Yunho said.

Changmin laughed and said, "We're already doing that now and we're not even lovers yet!"

Yunho laughed that beautiful, boisterous laugh of his and said, "Yeah, you're right about that!" Then he became serious again. "When we argue it won't be like arguing with a friend anymore. As lovers, we'll need to learn to tolerate each other's bad points."

"We already do that too, Yunho. I can't stand how you always leave the cap off of the toothpaste because you have your mind on something else, but I tolerate it because I love you. And you can't stand how I use up all the hot water when I shower because I take so damn long showering, but you tolerate it because you love me," Changmin said sincerely.

Yunho felt his heart flutter with joy at those three little words - *I love you*. "And we're going to have to change our sleeping arrangements. No more sleeping in separate bedrooms and separate beds," he then said with a shy smile.

Changmin looked across the bedroom at Yunho's bed. It was a good-sized, king-sized bed for a man as tall as Yunho (his height being 6'0") but not long enough for Changmin to sleep in it comfortably because he was an inch taller than Yunho (Changmin's height being 6'1"). "My bed's slightly longer. We'll move you into my bedroom for now," he said. Then he looked at Yunho again and said, "We're going to need a bigger place to live in. This apartment isn't going to be big enough for us anymore now that we're dating."

"Dating. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Yunho asked with a dreamy smile.

"Yeah, it sounds great," Changmin agreed, a dreamy smile on his face too.

They both giggled at how silly they looked. They looked like lovesick teenagers.

"When we're on vacation next month we can look into finding a new place to live," Yunho then said, their laughter ceasing. Then he sighed deeply before saying gravely, "Minnie, we can't let anyone know we're romantically involved. That includes you not telling Yesung, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Donghae, Minho and Taemin, and me not telling Leeteuk, Siwon, Heechul, Eunhyuk, Jay and Jungmo. If the fans or the press found out about us..." His voice trailed off, leaving the meaning of what he said hanging in the air.

"No one will find out, and I won't tell anyone - not even Yesung, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Donghae, Minho and Taemin," Changmin reassured. Then he looked worried as he asked, "What about our families? We should tell them. I know my sisters will be all right with us being together - they've been rooting for us to get together ever since they read my journal and read in it that I'm in love with you."

"They read your journal? Oh my God! They really do like tormenting you!" Yunho laughed. "Thank God my sister isn't like that!"

"You have an angel for a sister; I have two demons for sisters! Nothing they love better than tormenting me!" Changmin complained sourly; yet the love he felt for his sisters shone brightly in his eyes. "Does your sister know about your feelings for me?" he asked Yunho seriously.

Yunho blushed and said, "She kinda guessed it when you and your family came to my parents' 30th wedding anniversary celebration last year. Something about the way I looked at you as you toasted my parents on the success of their marriage. She said she hadn't seen me look that awestruck since..." Yunho's voice trailed off as his blush deepened.

"Since when?" Changmin asked gently.

Yunho was quiet for a long moment. "Since Jaejoong. She said I used to look at Jaejoong the same way I look at you now," he admitted quietly.

A nerve began twitching in Changmin's jaw. "You were deeply in love with him, weren't you?" he asked evenly.

"I'm not anymore. I feel nothing for him now," Yunho said insistently.

"He was your first love. Very few people get over their first love," Changmin said tensely.

"I'm over Jaejoong. He killed my love for him when he turned his back on you and me," Yunho said fervently.

"You never got a chance to tell him how you felt about him. You never got a chance to be with him, kiss him, make love with him. Do you feel cheated by not having a chance with him?' Changmin asked stiffly.

"Changmin, why are you asking me these things? I said I'm over him. I'm not in love with him anymore. Haven't been for two years now. I'm in love with you," Yunho insisted fervently.

"You and Jaejoong were such close friends. Are you sure you're over him?" Changmin asked, his gaze probing Yunho's gaze intently.

"Yes! I'm over him! Why won't you believe me?!" Yunho asked woundedly.

"Because when you love someone, Yunho, you love that person always and forever! I'm a selfish bastard! I refuse to share you with him!" Changmin argued.

"You don't have to share me with him! I'm not in love with him anymore! I should've never told you! I knew you would get upset!" Yunho argued back as he started to rise from the table. He was so angry at Changmin right now he could spit.

Changmin grabbed Yunho's hands and kept Yunho from leaving the table. "I'm sorry," Changmin intoned rawly. "I'm being silly because I hate him so much. Forgive me."

"You're not the only one who dislikes him. My sister dislikes him. She would tell me that he wasn't good enough for me. She would tell me that you are good enough for me," Yunho said softly. He sat back down. "From the moment she first met you she told me you are someone I will always be able to trust and rely on. She told me you would never hurt me."

"She's right. I would never hurt you. You can trust me, Yunho. I would never do anything to hurt you," Changmin pledged.

"I know," Yunho said. Then he took a deep breath and expelled it before saying, "My sister knows everything about me; just like you know everything about me. She's my confidant. I can tell her anything and she always supports me. I admitted my feelings for Jaejoong to her; then just last year I admitted my feelings for you to her. She was unhappy with my feelings for Jaejoong becaus she didn't trust him. But she trusts you. She's thrilled I'm in love with you."

"I knew I love your sister for a reason. She's a smart girl. She knows you can trust me. She knows I'll never hurt you," Changmin said softly. "My sisters approve of you. They know you would never hurt me. They know I can trust you."

Yunho felt his heart thump with joy at the knowledge that Changmin's sisters approved of him being Changmin's significant other. "I love your sisters. They are always so kind to me," Yunho said.

"They adore you," Changmin said with a warm smile. "They threaten me all the time with bodily harm if I don't take good care of you, and let you take good care of me."

"I guess we have our sisters' approval," Yunho said with a warm smile. Then his smile faded as he said worriedly, "But what about our parents? They have no clue how we feel about each other. They may not approve. They might...disown us or something."

"Yunho, our parents love us. They would never disown us. They would accept us being together," Changmin soothed.

"How do you know that for sure? I don't," Yunho asked worriedly.

"I know for sure because they dote on us. My parents and your parents love both of us deeply. Nothing we could ever do or say would take their love away from us. They love us, Yunho. And when we're ready to tell them about our relationship they will support us and love us even more because they'll want to protect us even more and would want us to be happy together. I'm as sure of that as I am of my love for you. So stop worrying." Changmin took Yunho's hands in his own again and squeezed them reassuringly. "Our parents adore us. They love us, baby. They'll never stop loving us. Never."

Yunho blinked in surprise. " *Baby* ?" he repeated softly. It was the second time now that Changmin had called him by that endearment. It made him feel warm and giddy inside.

"Yeah. That's my other new pet name for you. You're my baby now. Is it okay if I call you that in private?" Changmin asked, grinning brightly.

"Sure, angel," Yunho said with a gorgeous smile of his own.

Changmin laughed softly. "Baby, I'm no angel! You know how flawed I am."

"I know. But you're still my angel." Yunho stared at Changmin for a long moment. "I've been wanting to call you *angel* for a long time now," he whispered softly.

It was now Changmin's turn to feel his heart thumb with joy. Then he asked softly, "Are you reassured now that our parents will never abandon us and will always love us? Surely you know how much they love us."

"I know. Sorry for doubting the strength of their love for us," Yunho said regretfully.

"It's okay. I had my moment of doubt too. But my sisters reassured me that my parents and your parents will never stop loving you and me and will always support and protect us. I believe my sisters. And I'm sure your sister would tell you the same thing," Changmin soothed.

"She would," Yunho admitted softly. "So...when do we tell our parents?"

"The next time we have dinner with them we tell them. We're on vacation next month. We'll have dinner with them and tell them," Changmin suggested.

"Okay," Yunho agreed. He still looked a little worried but not as worried as he had looked earlier.

Changmin squeezed Yunho's hands again. "They love us, honey bunny. Don't worry. Only death will ever take them from us," Changmin soothed; then he shuddered at the painful thought of losing his beloved parents and Yunho's parents someday to death.

Yunho shuddered too at the painful thought. "I hope they live forever," he whispered softly to Changmin.

"I hope that too. But we both know that can't happen on this side of life. Only with God will they live forever. We just have to hope and pray we don't lose them anytime soon; that they live very long lives on this earth before God calls them home," Changmin said.

Yunho nodded in understanding as tears filled his eyes. The thought of losing his parents and Changmin's parents was unbearable.

It was unbearable for Changmin too as tears filled his eyes.

They stared at each other for a long moment as they shared their grief with each other over something that hadn't happened yet.

Then Yunho blinked his tears away as he asked Changmin with a chuckle, "Where did you get that *honey bunny* pet name for me from? From my solo song on the 'TONE' album? It's called 'Honey Funny Bunny', angel."

"I know, but that's too many words to say all the time; so I condensed it to *honey bunny*. I like that much better for you," Changmin explained, his tears evaporating from his eyes as he grinned elatedly at Yunho.

Yunho shook his head in wonderment and chuckled softly. "What am I gonna do with you?" he teased.

"Love me," Changmin teased back; but the look in his eyes was serious and hopeful.

"Always and forever," Yunho replied back softly; his gaze becoming serious and soulful.

They stared at each other for a long moment; each drinking in the beauty of the other. Then Changmin stood up from his chair and leaned across the table. His face drew close to Yunho's face, and Yunho's eyes widened in shock. Changmin let his gaze fall to Yunho's mouth, and Changmin ached to suck that pouty lower lip of Yunho's into his mouth and run his tongue along it over and over and over again...then kiss Yunho senseless.

Yunho saw the slow burn of desire enter Changmin's eyes and he swallowed deeply. It was the first time Changmin had ever looked at him like that; the first time Changmin had ever revealed that side of himself to Yunho. Licking his lower lip unconsciously, and not realizing how that tiny action made Changmin's blood burn, Yunho let his own gaze drop to Changmin's mouth, and his lips ached to sample those wide, full, pouty lips.

Changmin saw the spark of passion in Yunho's eyes and sighed softly. It was the first time he had ever seen passion in Yunho's eyes; the first time he had ever seen this side of Yunho. It was intoxicating.

Staring deeply into Yunho's eyes, Changmin murmured, "How much experience do you have with kissing?"

Yunho felt like Changmin was hypnotizing him as he whispered back, "Other than kissing a few actresses in our music videos and in the TV shows I've done...not much."

"Same with me," Changmin said. Then he asked in a low voice, "Wanna give it a try?"

"Sure," Yunho said, nodding slightly.

For several seconds they stared at each other; neither of them moving; both of them suddenly scared to take that next step that would alter their lives - in a very good way - forever.

It was Changmin who shattered the staring contest when he teased, "Wow...we're really getting nowhere fast standing here staring at each other."

"You're standing; I'm sitting," Yunho corrected with a tiny smile.

"Whatever, *Mr. Politically Correct*," Changmin teased; then he grew serious again as he reached out with his hand and tenderly stroked Yunho's smooth cheek with his fingertips. He felt Yunho shiver in reaction to his touch. Changmin had never stroked Yunho's cheek before. "Soft. So soft. So smooth," Changmin whispered in awe. Then he slid his hand into Yunho's hair and carded his fingers through the silky-soft black tresses. "Your hair is soft too. So shiny and glossy. And it curls around my fingers like it was made for my touch." He shifted his fingers and watched as a lock of the hair curled naturally around his finger. Locking his gaze with Yunho's again, he whispered softly, "You are sooo beautiful, Yunho. Sooo incredibly beautiful."

Yunho blushed at the compliment. "Thank you. And..." His gaze wandered over Changmin's face, drinking in every detail of it. "...You are gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous."

It was now Changmin's turn to blush. "Thank you, baby," he whispered. They stared at each other for another long moment; then Changmin made the first move, his face drawing closer and closer to Yunho's face until their lips were just a hairsbreadth apart. "May I, Yunho-hyung?" Changmin asked quietly; wanting to be sure that Yunho wanted to be kissed as badly as Changmin wanted to kiss him.

"You haven't called me *hyung* in private in a very long time," Yunho whispered back a bit breathlessly. The tantalizing scent and warmth of Changmin being so close to him affected Yunho deeply. He lowered his gaze to Changmin's mouth again and felt his own lips ache with anticipation. "Kiss me, Minnie," he murmured thickly; then he looked into Changmin's eyes again and repeated, "Kiss me. Now."

Changmin felt his heart flutter with joy at his best friend's soft command. Then he leaned forward, his eyes fluttering shut as he tenderly touched his lips against Yunho's lips for the very first time. Yunho's eyes fluttered shut too as he sighed softly in anticipation.

A bolt of sensation shot through the both of them when their lips touched, causing them both to gasp in shock and to draw back from each other to stare at each other. "Did you...feel that?" Changmin asked a bit breathlessly.

Yunho nodded, unable to speak because of the lump of emotion clogging his throat. Then his eyes closed again as Changmin leaned back in and captured his lips again.

And so began the romantic relationship between Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin.

The touch of their lips was electrifying. Both men moaned as they savored the feel of their lips touching for the second time. It was the sweetest sensation either of them had ever felt. For several moments their lips only touched, neither of them moving their lips. Then Changmin felt the need to deepen the kiss and began to move his lips against Yunho's lips, brushing his lips slowly and tenderly against Yunho's lips. Yunho moaned and responded back, his lips moving against Changmin's lips slowly and tenderly. When he felt Changmin's tongue caress the fullness of his lower lip, he gasped in delight, causing his lips to part. Changmin groaned in delight and let instinct take over; his own lips parting as his tongue stroked passed Yunho's parted lips and teeth to taste deeply within. At the feel of Changmin's tongue in his mouth, Yunho groaned and slid his arms around Changmin's neck as he opened his mouth fully to allow Changmin's tongue to possess his mouth completely. Yunho tasted like fresh mint and of the food they had had for dinner, and Changmin moaned in pleasure as he deepened the kiss even more, craving to taste more of this sexy, incredible man.

Changmin came around the table and gathered Yunho into his arms all while keeping their lips locked together; his arms slipping around Yunho's waist. He pressed Yunho close against him and marveled at how Yunho's lean, trim body fit snuggly against his own lean, trim body. He felt Yunho shiver as their bodies pressed together, and Changmin sighed in delight. Yunho felt really, really good pressed against him. Yunho tightened his arms around Changmin's neck and responded passionately to Changmin's kiss; Yunho's lips moving sensuously against Changmin's lips before Yunho took control of the kiss and slid his own tongue into Changmin's mouth and tasted deeply of Changmin's honey-sweet/dinner-laced flavor. Yunho groaned and tenderly devoured Changmin's lips, loving the yummy taste of the younger man.

Changmin moaned again and became emboldened; his lips taking control of the kiss again as he kissed Yunho hungrily. He wanted to devour Yunho's sweet lips, that was how yummy Yunho tasted to him.

When their lips parted a few seconds later due to the need of oxygen, they pressed their foreheads together; both of them struggling to calm themselves down from the incredible high their kisses had taken them to. "Wow," they both gasped at the same time; then they giggled softly at their silliness before becoming serious again as they drew back a little to look into each other's eyes.

"Everything's going to change now," Yunho whispered as he stroked his fingers through Changmin's soft dark brown locks; tucking a few strands of it behind Changmin's ears. "There's no going back now to the way things used to be."

"I don't wanna go back to the way things used to be. I wanna move forward and enjoy all of the changes that will come because of our love for each other," Changmin whispered back thickly; passion and joy glowing in his eyes.

Yunho smiled that beautiful smile of his before whispering softly, "I love you, Changmin."

Changmin felt his heart flutter at the sound of those three little words coming from Yunho's lips. "I love you too, Yunho," he whispered back softly. Then his eyes fluttered shut as Yunho leaned forward and captured his lips in another stirring kiss.

The kiss was slow and deep and became more passionate as the heat of desire rose within them both. Changmin lifted Yunho up into his arms and carried Yunho bridal-style over to the bed; Yunho gasping in shock against Changmin's lips when Changmin picked him up; his arms tightening around Changmin's neck. No one had ever picked Yunho up that way before and carry him, and he would've been weirded out by it if someone other than Changmin had picked him up. But he was comfortable with Changmin picking him up like this. Plus, he knew he wasn't too heavy for Changmin because although he was almost as tall as Changmin, he weighed a few pounds lighter than Changmin.

With their lips still locked together and both of them kissing each other deeply, Changmin laid Yunho down upon the bed then came down beside Yunho. The bed was indeed a little cramp for both men because it really wasn't long enough for Changmin, but he didn't care as he began unbuttoning Yunho's shirt. "Is this okay?" he asked softly as his lips left Yunho's lips and trailed a path of wet kisses down the smooth column of Yunho's neck to Yunho's collarbone. Yunho nodded as Changmin licked at the collarbone before sucking on it gently. Since Changmin was a virgin, he was going by instinct, doing whatever instinct told him would feel good to Yunho.

Yunho moaned and arched his back at the feel of Changmin sucking his collarbone; then his hands fluttered and he reached out and stopped Changmin from spreading his now unbuttoned shirt open. Changmin felt the change in Yunho and drew back to look at him. Yunho was the epitome of hot and gorgeous as Changmin stared at him - Yunho's silky black hair fanning out against a pillow like a dark halo; Yunho's black eyes dilated from passion, his cheeks flushed, his lips moist and pliant from their kisses. "Still okay?" Changmin asked softly.

Yunho blushed shyly as he looked up at Changmin; Changmin the epitome of wild and sensual with his dark brown locks tousled from Yunho's fingers; Changmin's chocolate-brown gaze narrowed and glowing with desire, his beautiful face flushed, his lips plump and pouty from their kisses. Yunho felt his cock swell against the fly of his jeans at how sexy Changmin looked right now. Never had Yunho seen Changmin look so sexy before. "Umm...I think we need to slow down a bit," he said a bit breathlessly as he squeezed Changmin's hands. "Neither of us knows what we're doing."

"We're about to make love," Changmin deadpanned as he stared back at Yunho. He felt Yunho's hands tremble and realized the older man was nervous. "I won't hurt you," he promised softly.

"I know. But...we really don't know what we're doing. We're virgins, remember? I haven't the faintest clue what to do, and neither do you," Yunho cautioned softly.

Changmin propped himself up on an elbow and looked around the bedroom. "What are you looking for?" Yunho asked bewilderedly; his hand, palm flat, resting against Changmin's muscled chest overtop of the strong, steady beat of Changmin's heart; the warmth of Changmin's skin penetrating through Changmin's shirt to warm Yunho's palm.

"Your iPad," Changmin said; then he spotted it on the nightstand and grabbed it. He then arranged himself and Yunho on the bed so that he was reclining back against the pillows and headboard of the bed with Yunho tucked intimately against his side; Yunho's head resting on Changmin's shoulder. "We're going to find out how to make love to each other," Changmin explained as he turned the iPad on, keyed in Yunho's passcode, then touched the web browser icon to open it, then he typed something quickly into the search engine box. A second later a list of topics on how gay men have sex together came up on the screen of the iPad. Changmin felt Yunho stiffen against him.

Yunho stared at his iPad; the word *gay* glaring out of the screen like a neon sign. "Is...is that...what we are? Gay?" he asked; his voice trembling slightly. They both knew how gays were treated in society - not very well.

That word glared out from the iPad at Changmin too. "Do you desire other men?" he asked Yunho boldly; then amended softly, "Other than me and...Jaejoong when you were in love with him?"

"No, just you...and Jaejoong when I was in love with him," Yunho muttered back softly. "You and Jaejoong are the only two men I've ever been attracted to. And...I'm attracted to women."

"Me, too. Women are sexy...and you're the only man I've ever wanted," Changmin whispered back softly. "So...does that make us *gay*? I don't know. All I know is you are the only man I want...the only human being I want...and if wanting you makes me gay...then so be it."

Yunho sighed worriedly. "We can't let anyone find out about us. The world hates people like...you and me. They would destroy us...we'd lose everything."

Changmin took hold of Yunho's chin and tilted Yunho's face up so that he could look at Yunho. Yunho's worried gaze clung to Changmin's reassuring gaze. "No one will ever find out about us, baby. We'll be very careful. Don't worry," he whispered gently as he tenderly stroked Yunho's cheek with the tips of his fingers. Then he leaned down and tenderly kissed Yunho's lips. The kiss deepened when Yunho moaned and responded to it; Yunho's arms wrapping around Changmin's neck again; his long, graceful fingers scrunching at Changmin's hair.

Changmin moaned and tucked Yunho closer against him as he wrapped one arm around Yunho's waist; his other arm extended outward a little so that he wouldn't drop the iPad. They kissed deeply for several minutes; both enjoying the feel of each other's mouths, savoring and loving the taste of each other. When they drew apart to breathe again, they stared at each other heatedly; then Changmin brought the iPad back into focus. "Let's find out how we're going to make love to each other," he said with a tiny smile as he blushed shyly.

Yunho blushed shyly too as Changmin touched a selection on the list and brought up a medical website that talked about the technical side of gay sex. When they saw discreet yet explanatory photos of the different ways men had sex together, both of them stared at the photos wide-eyedly; their breaths hitching as they imagine the two of them becoming intimate with each other and doing some of the things shown in the photos. "That...looks painful," Yunho gasped as he pointed a finger at a photo of a man taking another man from behind.

"Yeah...it does," Changmin agreed, frowning. He felt his cock throb against the fly of his jeans as he imagined taking Yunho in such an intimate way; his body telling him he would like it a lot. But he could sense Yunho was more apprehensive about it than he was as Yunho trembled slightly and snuggled closer against Changmin's side.

"We'd have to have a lot of trust in each other...to do that. One of us would...have to submit to the other. Umm...I'm not sure I can do that," Yunho whispered. He had always been the leader of their group, when they were a 5-member group and now as a 2-member group. He was always in charge, taking control of whatever situation that arose in their careers. He was also the eldest out of him and Changmin. But if they ever decided to make love in the way that photo on the iPad was depicting...Yunho knew that either he or Changmin would have to submit willingly to the other. Yunho had never submitted to anyone before; and although Changmin had no problem with Yunho being in charge as far as their careers were concerned, Yunho wondered if Changmin wanted to be the one in charge in the bedroom.

Changmin rubbed a soothing hand against Yunho's back as they both stared at the photo. He knew what Yunho was thinking and he didn't want Yunho to relinquish his role as leader and submitting to him unwillingly but doing so because Yunho loved him. "We're equals in the bedroom, Yunho. When we get to the point that we're ready to make love like this..." Changmin pointed at the photo on the iPad screen, "...we *both* will submit to each other. No one's going to dominate. We share and give and take evenly. And we both submit to each other; not one submitting to the other and being stripped of his power," he said sincerely.

Yunho nodded in agreement; then he touched the screen of the iPad to move on to the next photo. It was a photo of a man in between another man's legs giving head.

Both Yunho and Changmin shuddered in shock and delight at that photo - both of them imagining giving each other head.

It suddenly got downright humid in Yunho's bedroom.

They went to the next photo. It was of two men jerking each other's cocks. Both men looked enraptured with each other, their obvious pleasure showing on their faces.

Changmin swallowed hard and Yunho's mouth fell open as they stared at the photo...both of them realizing that they could do that without being afraid of hurting each other and neither of them would dominate to the other. It seemed like a win-win situation.

They slowly looked at each other; twin expressions of interest and anticipation on their faces; their eyes glowing with desire for each other. Then they brought their focus back to the iPad and went to the next photo.

The next photo was of two men having intercourse in the same way as a man and a woman have intercourse: one of the men on top taking the other man who was underneath him. The man underneath had his head arched back, his eyes closed, his face flushed with pleasure and passion as his fingers scrunched the hair of his lover. The man on top had his face against the other man's neck; his lips sucking at the other man's neck while his fingers pinched at the other man's nipple.

Both Yunho and Changmin shivered in reaction to the photo; their minds conjuring up an image of them doing the exact same thing in the photo...with Changmin on top of Yunho, and Yunho underneath Changmin.

Yunho felt a twinge of fear in his heart as he realized that deep down inside he wouldn't mind Changmin being the dominant one if they made love like the way those two men in the photo were making love. Yunho realized he wanted to be dominated by Changmin; he realized he wanted to be submissive and taken care of and have Changmin be the leader of him when they made love. But if Yunho allowed Changmin to have that kind of power over him...would that make him less of a man in their blossoming romance?

Changmin felt his blood boil at the thought of taking Yunho the old fashion way. The thought of Yunho underneath him, clinging to him and moaning in ecstasy made his cock ache. He looked at Yunho, about to admit how appealing this kind of lovemaking looked to him when he saw the troubled look on Yunho's face. Laying the iPad aside, Changmin shifted their bodies again until they were facing each other, then Changmin stroked the hair back from Yunho's face before whispering gently, "Tell me what you're thinking, Yunho. Did that last photo bother you?"

Yunho bit his lower lip at Changmin's questions (Yunho not realizing that biting his lower lip made Changmin long to suck on that lip); then he whispered as he blushed, "It...it looks...interesting...but..."

"But...?" Changmin prodded gently.

"But..." Yunho sighed deeply then admitted quietly, "...in my mind...I pictured us making love that way...but with me on the bottom...and you on top of me."

"I pictured that in my mind like that too," Changmin admitted; then added softly, "But we don't have to do it that way...or rush to do it. We have all the time in the world, Yunho." He stroked Yunho's cheek soothingly. "I want you to feel comfortable with me, Yunho. I want you to trust me and believe that I won't hurt you, nor make you feel inferior to me because you're not inferior to me, and I'm not inferior to you. I know how important it is for you to feel you are in control, that you're the leader out of you and me. I'm perfectly fine being the follower - whether it's in our professional life or our personal life. I respect you as a leader and as an elder of me. I wouldn't want you any other way."

Yunho mulled over what Changmin said and was quiet for a few moments. Then he looked at Changmin again and whispered shyly, "What if...I want you to take control of me when...when we're being intimate?"

Changmin felt his heart flutter and his cock twitch at the thought of dominating Yunho in bed - but dominating Yunho gently and lovingly, never abusively. "Only if it's what you want," he said softly.

Yunho was quiet again before whispering, "I think it's what I want. I sometimes get tired of being the leader, but since I'm older than you, I have to be the leader where TVXQ is concerned. But...I don't want to be the leader when we're...intimate. I mean...I want us to be equals in our love life...but I don't want to lead in the bedroom. I'd rather...follow...and you lead...because in the bedroom...I want to feel like I'm being taken care of...by you. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah, it makes perfect sense to me," Changmin said as he stroked Yunho's cheek again; his heart fluttering with joy. He wanted nothing more than to take care of Yunho even if it was only in the bedroom and nowhere else. He wanted to give Yunho all of the TLC that Yunho wanted and needed. But he didn't want to control Yunho; he didn't want to dominate him and make him feel like he was less of a man in the bedroom. "We're going to be equals in the bedroom, Yunho. I don't ever want to make you feel inferior to me because you're not. Whatever we decide to do in the bedroom will be whatever we both agree upon; but if you want me to take care of you and lead the way sometimes in the bedroom, I will. But I'll do it with the utmost respect to you and will honor your leadership at all times. Does that make sense to you?" Changmin watched Yunho closely as Yunho thought over what he'd just said.

Yunho was quiet for a long moment; then he smiled sweetly and whispered, "That makes perfect sense to me. Thank you, angel."

"You're welcome, baby. And thank you for trusting me. I won't hurt you, sweetheart. I promise," Changmin whispered. Then he leaned over and kissed Yunho tenderly before pulling away from Yunho and grabbing the iPad again. He turned the iPad off and placed it back on the nightstand; then he settled back down beside Yunho and toyed with Yunho's unbuttoned shirt; his gaze heating up as he caught a glimpse of Yunho's smooth, lean chest. He wanted to peel the shirt off of Yunho and lick and kiss every inch of Yunho's chest but knew he couldn't until Yunho gave him permission to.

Yunho saw the desire in Changmin's eyes and felt his own body react deliciously from that look of desire. He knew Changmin was waiting for him to give him permission to proceed. He stared deeply at Changmin and whispered softly, "Take my shirt off of me, Chami."

Changmin felt joy swell in his heart as he drew apart Yunho's shirt and stripped it off of Yunho. Then Changmin looked at Yunho's chest and felt his mouth water with anticipation. This wasn't the first time he'd seen Yunho's bare chest, but it was the first time he had ever openly viewed Yunho's chest unabashedly. Reaching out, he gently touched that warm, smooth expanse of chiseled muscle and silky skin and slid his palm up the center of Yunho's chest and over to a well-defined pectoral; its brown nipple stiff and erect.

Yunho gasped softly at the feel of Changmin's hand touching his chest for the very first time. He savored the warmth of that hand as it slid up the center of his chest, then over to his pectoral. He felt Changmin's warm, soft palm cup his pectoral and knead the lightly fleshy mound before rubbing his palm against the stiff nipple. He gasped in pleasure at the feel of Changmin caressing his nipple. No one had ever touched him like this before, and he was glad he was allowing Changmin to touch him so intimately and to be the only one to ever touch him so intimately.

Changmin relished the feel of Yunho's flesh in his hand. He rubbed against the stiff nipple and felt it harden even more against his palm. He knew he hadn't a clue what he was doing, that he was going by instinct alone, and it felt sooo right. Sooo damn right. He looked at Yunho's face and saw utter bliss on the older man's face. "You like my touch, baby?" he asked seductively; the husky sound of his own voice shocking him in a good way.

Yunho nodded his head; unable to find his voice right now because of the pleasure he was feeling. Then he felt Changmin take one of his hands and press it palm flat against Changmin's chest. The warmth of Changmin's skin permeated through the fabric of Changmin's shirt, flowing into Yunho's palm and down his arm and into his chest, causing tingly bursts of pleasure all along his spine.

Changmin's gaze was glowing with desire as he whispered, "Take my shirt off of me, Yunho-ah. Let me feel your hands against my chest. Touch me the same way I am touching you."

Yunho reached out with his other hand and started unbuttoning Changmin's shirt; his fingers trembling as he fumbled with the buttons. Eventually he got the buttons undone, then he slid the shirt off of Changmin before pressing his hands against Changmin's shoulders and sliding his hands down Changmin's chest; feeling the smooth skin and toned muscles of Changmin's chest. He reached Changmin's pectorals (which weren't as fleshy as Yunho's but still well-defined) and kneaded the taut skin before caressing the nipples centered within both pectorals. He felt the dusky brown nipples harden against his palms and he felt his heart flutter when he heard a deep moan bubble from Changmin's lips. He looked at Changmin's face and saw the glow of pleasure there. "Does that feel good? Do you like my touch?" he asked huskily; the tone of his voice shocking him in a good way too.

Changmin nodded, his own voice abandoning him as emotion clogged his throat. He started caressing Yunho's chest again; his fingers pinching gently at an erect nipple and causing Yunho to gasp and arch his back in reaction. Then he felt Yunho pinch his nipples, and he gasped and arched his back in reaction. Both of them were panting; their faces flushed with need as they stared at each other heatedly. They were acting on instinct alone, neither of them sure of what they were doing but wanting to do something anyway. Wanting to do something to solidify their newfound love for each other.

It was Changmin who made the next move; his head lowering and his tongue slipping out to lick at Yunho's collarbone before licking down the center of Yunho's chest, then across Yunho's chest to a stiff nipple. Placing his lips against the nubbin, he kissed it several times, then he licked it, wetting it before opening his mouth over it and sucking on it gently.

Yunho cried out and arched in pleasure as his fingers threaded through Changmin's hair and gripped tightly. Never before had anyone did something like what Changmin was doing to him right now, and it was causing his cock to ache and throb against the fly of his jeans. "Aah, Minnie...Minnie..." he gasped, his voice thick with pleasure and desire.

Changmin felt his heart soar with joy when he heard Yunho cry out his nickname. Tenderly, he bit the nipple, then flicked his tongue against it to soothe the sting of his bite away. He felt Yunho arch again in pleasure, thus sending his nipple further into Changmin's mouth so that Changmin could suck on it deeply. He heard Yunho gasp again in pleasure and smiled against the nipple, loving the fact that he was pleasing his hyung, the love of his life.

He let his hands wander down Yunho's torso; his fingertips caressing the flat plane of Yunho's tummy and the lean ridges of Yunho's chocolate abs before reaching the waistband of Yunho's jeans. His fingertips caressed the brass buckle of Yunho's belt as he roved his mouth across Yunho's chest to lick and bite and suck on Yunho's other stiff nipple. He heard Yunho keen softly and felt Yunho's fingers tighten in his hair. He drew deeply on the nipple, loving the clean taste of Yunho's flesh as he slowly unbuckled Yunho's belt; then slowly undid the button and zipper of Yunho's jeans. He eased the denim fabric down Yunho's hips and down Yunho's thighs to pool at Yunho's knees; all while still tormenting Yunho's nipple - biting and licking and sucking it gently. He slid his hands up Yunho's toned thighs...then he curled one of his hands around Yunho's cock and stroked a man's cock - Yunho's cock - for the very first time.

Yunho nearly screamed in pleasure at the feel of Changmin's hand closing around his hard flesh and caressing it gently; Changmin's hand sliding up and down the thick stalk; his fingertips stroking the sensitive vein on the underside of the cock as he marveled at how smooth and hard it felt. It felt similar to his own cock and yet differently too. He rubbed the pad of his thumb against the mushroom-shaped head and moaned around Yunho's nipple when he felt pre-cum leak from the slit in the tip. He smeared that pearly-white essence across the tip and felt Yunho buck his hips as Yunho cried out again softly in pleasure. "Ooh...ooh, God, Minnie...Minnie..." Yunho gasped breathlessly.

Changmin lifted his head from Yunho's chest and watched Yunho's face as he tenderly jerked Yunho's cock. He wanted to see the moment when Yunho shattered, wanted to see the pleasure that would scroll across Yunho's beautiful face as he reached the peak and climaxed within his hand. He noticed that Yunho's face was flushed and beads of sweat were on his forehead now; he breathed through his mouth as his body writhed with need. Changmin tightened his grip around Yunho's cock just a little bit more and sped up the movement of his hand and his thumb just a little bit more...then he watched and waited for Yunho to reach his peak.

Yunho was lost in a sea of sensation; Changmin's hand feeling a trillion times' better stroking his cock than his own hand felt. Though he knew Changmin had never done this with anyone before, he was amazed at how expertly Changmin stroked his cock and rubbed his thumb against the head. He felt the tension burn and build within him, felt it coil tightly within him...and then he felt it burst, and he nearly screamed in pleasure as his entire body arched and stiffened; then he shuddered as wave after wave of sweet, achy release washed over him. He buried his face in the crook of Changmin's neck and bit Changmin's shoulder as he gasped deeply, "Ooh, Minnie! Ooh, Minnie! Ooh, Minnie!"

Changmin held Yunho tightly and reveled in the fact that he had just given Yunho the ultimate pleasure. He had seen the look of euphoria come across Yunho's face before Yunho buried his face against Changmin's neck and bit Changmin's shoulder; the sharp bite of Yunho's teeth only a slight sting that wasn't painful nor uncomfortable. He watched as Yunho's cock swelled and then burst; watched as the pearly-white essence of Yunho's seed spilled from the tip. He used that wetness to caress Yunho and draw out Yunho's pleasure. Yunho writhed for what seemed like several seconds before finally settling down and collapsing back against the mattress; his eyes closed and his breathing labored; his face flushed and damp from sweat and...were those *TEARS* on Yunho's cheeks too? Changmin looked closer and his heart froze as he realized those were indeed tears on Yunho's cheeks. "Yunho? Baby, are you okay? Did I hurt you? Oh, God, I hurt you!" He started to panic. The last thing he'd wanted to do was hurt his Yunho.

"No...no...I'm fine," Yunho gasped as he tried to catch his breath. He was floating in a sea of tingling aftershocks that felt sooo good, it almost felt as good as when he first climaxed. He opened his eyes and saw the panicked expression on Changmin's face, and he reached up and cupped Changmin's face and captured Changmin's worried gaze. "I'm fine," he whispered reassuringly to Changmin. "You didn't hurt me. I cried because...it felt sooo good...and I've never felt this good before. I never knew...lovemaking could feel sooo good...and you made me feel this good. You took me to heaven, angel. And I loved it. I loved it very much."

Changmin sighed in relief and gathered Yunho close. "I never wanna do anything to hurt you," Changmin whispered; his voice thick with emotion because of the truth of his words and because of how much Yunho meant to him. Then he felt nimble fingers unbuckling his belt, then unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, then tugging both jeans and underwear down from his hips and down his long legs until they pooled at his knees. He then felt himself being pushed onto his back, and he stared wide-eyedly up at Yunho as the older man looked down at him.

Yunho brushed Changmin's bangs out of his face before trailing his fingertips lightly down Changmin's cheek to trace the wide fullness of Changmin’s lips. He felt Changmin's lips quiver slightly against his fingertips. He drank in the beauty of Changmin's face before whispering, "I love you. I love you sooo much."

Changmin felt his heart ache with love for Yunho. "I love you, baby. I love you, too," he whispered back. He watched as Yunho dipped his head and closed his eyes when he felt Yunho's lips touch his lips. Yunho kissed him slowly and deeply, his tongue playing with Changmin's tongue as his fingers trailed down Changmin's lean chest, tweaking at a stiff nipple before traveling down the flat plane of Changmin's tummy to curl gently around Changmin's thick, hard cock.

Changmin moaned deeply at the feel of another's hand - Yunho's hand - encircling his cock for the very first time. He felt his blood boil as Yunho slowly began to stroke him; jerking firmly yet gently at the stiff flesh; his thumb rubbing against the mushroom-shaped head and smearing pre-cum all over the tip and into the burning slit. He felt Yunho's other hand cup and knead the twin sacs at the base of his cock and he gasped when he felt fire streak through his entire body. He moaned again, Yunho's mouth catching the cry and swallowing it as tension built within him. Then he gasped for breath as Yunho tore his mouth away to nibble kisses down the column of his neck and across his collarbone and chest until Yunho reached a stiff nipple and he bit it tenderly before licking it and then sucking it into his mouth. Changmin mewled in pleasure, his back arching as he tangled his hands in Yunho's hair. "Aah, God, Yunho!" Changmin cried out lustily. Never before had he felt as hot and feverish as he felt right now. His cock was aching so badly that he feared he would burst into a million pieces. He threw his head back against a pillow and moaned in pleasure; his eyes closing as he focused intently on the touch of Yunho's hand and the sucking of Yunho's mouth.

Yunho thrilled at the way Changmin responded so unabashedly to his ministrations. He kissed and licked his way over to Changmin's other nipple and paid it the same attention as the first nipple before nibbling his way back up Changmin's neck until he reached Changmin's lips again. He kissed Changmin deeply, hungrily; then he whispered seductively into Changmin's ear, "Come for me, angel. Let me hear you hit your high note." He twisted his hand slightly to tug deeply at Changmin's cock, and that little change in direction sent Changmin surging over the edge.

"Oooh! Yunho! Yunho! Oooh!" Changmin screamed, hitting that incredibly high note as he stiffened, the tension coiling tightly within him. Then he shattered; pearly-white spunk drenching Yunho's hand as he climaxed hard and fast; his body writhing against Yunho as waves of burning hot release washed over him, reducing him to a mass of quivering nerves and sporadic tingly aftershocks of pleasure.

When he finally became aware of his surroundings again, he felt Yunho tenderly kissing his forehead and stroking his hair. He opened his eyes and looked up into Yunho's loving gaze. "Welcome back, gorgeous. Did you sleep well?" Yunho asked with a tender smile.

"I...I was asleep?" Changmin asked, sounding surprised.

"You fell asleep immediately after your came. You were asleep for twenty minutes. I didn't have the heart to wake you up," Yunho explained softly as he stroked Changmin's cheek gently. He then leaned down and tenderly kissed Changmin on the lips. "Did you enjoy yourself? Did I manage to make you feel good?"

Changmin nodded yes as he stared in amazement at Yunho. Not even in his wildest dreams had he thought Yunho would please him sooo much. Tears pricked his eyes as he hugged Yunho tightly and whimpered against Yunho's shoulder, "I love you! I love you sooo much! Always and forever...I love you! I love you! I love you!"

Yunho held Changmin tightly and stroked Changmin's back as Changmin wept tears of joy against his shoulder. "I love you too, sweet angel," he whispered back; his gaze full of love for the younger man. "Always and forever...I love you too."

And so began the romantic relationship of Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin.

~*~

The middle of the night...

They had migrated to Changmin's bedroom several hours ago and were sleeping comfortably in Changmin's much larger bed until Yunho began to thrash about in Changmin's arms. The sudden, sharp thrashing woke Changmin up from a sound sleep and at first he didn't understand what was happening. Then he realized Yunho was having a bad dream as the older man continued thrashing about and crying out in a barely audible voice (though Changmin was sure in dreamland it probably sounded like to Yunho that he was screaming at the top of his lungs), "No! Get away from me! Get away from me! Changmin! Changmin! Changmin, help me! Help me! She's trying to kill me! Changmin, help me!"

Changmin shook Yunho firmly and shouted sharply, "Yunho! Yunho, wake up! You're having a nightmare! Wake up!"

Yunho came awake with a start. He would've sat up in the bed if Changmin hadn't tightened his arms around him and kept him close. He looked at Changmin with eyes wide with terror; then he hid his face against Changmin's neck and sobbed wrenchingly.

Changmin held Yunho close; Changmin's hands gliding up and down Yunho's back in waves of soothing comfort. He whispered softly to the weeping man, "Ssshhh...it's okay, baby. You're safe. Soria Kim is never going to hurt you again. I won't let anyone hurt you again. I'll keep you safe, baby. I promise, I'll keep you safe." It broke his heart knowing that Soria Kim's release in a few hours frightened Yunho and made him have terrible nightmares again. Feeling Yunho shudder in fear against him, he tightened his arms around Yunho and whispered again, "I'll never let anyone hurt you again, sweetheart. I'm sorry I couldn't stop her from hurting you four years ago, but I won't let her nor anyone else hurt you again. I swear, Yunho-ah...I swear." In the morning he would remember to call Management and demand that they beef up security around him and Yunho ASAP.

He felt Yunho draw back from him and he loosened his arms around Yunho just enough so that he could see Yunho's face. Yunho's cheeks were wet with tears and his eyes were full of fear. "She's going to come after me again! She hates me! She's going to come after me again and kill me!"

"No, Yunho. I won't let that happen," Changmin reassured. "I won't let her or anyone harm you again. Baby, I'll protect you." He cupped Yunho's face in his hands and looked deeply into Yunho's fear-filled eyes. "I won't let anyone harm you again, Yunho. I'll keep you safe. I won't let anything happen to you."

"How can you stop her?! She got to me before! She'll get to me again! I begged the authorities not to set her free but they didn't listen to me! Now she'll be free in a few hours and she did an interview telling everyone how she still hates me! Hate like that is deadly! She's going to come after me again! But why?! Why does she hate me?! What did I ever do to her?! Nothing! I've done nothing to her! But she hates me anyway! Hates me enough that she wants to kill me!" Yunho sobbed. He was in total panic-mode now, terror gripping his entire being as he stared fearfully and helplessly at Changmin.

"I won't let her hurt you again!" Changmin promised a bit harshly; then he hugged Yunho tightly when he felt Yunho flinch at the roughness of his tone. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to scare you. But I want you to believe that I won't let Soria Kim or anyone else harm you again. I swear, I'll keep you safe. Just trust me, Yunho. Please, trust me. Don't be afraid anymore, okay? I'll keep you safe. Ssshhh, baby. I'll keep you safe."

It took nearly an hour to fully calm Yunho down. When he finally was calm, he fell into an exhausted sleep. Changmin tightened his arms around the older man and held him the rest of the night; Changmin barely sleeping as he kept a silent vigil over his sweet beloved boyfriend.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, honey bunny,” Changmin pledged again quietly as he tenderly traced the contours of Yunho’s beautiful face; his fingertips paying close attention to the faint scars from childhood accidents that lingered on Yunho’s forehead and around Yunho’s left eye but were only visible when Changmin was this close to Yunho and when Yunho’s face was relaxed in slumber. The tiny beauty mark at the upper left corner of Yunho’s full mouth was so small that it was usually during quiet moments like this that Changmin saw it and remembered it existed. Stroking it gently with a fingertip, Changmin whispered rawly to his beloved boyfriend, “I love you, baby. I love you sooo much. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, honey bunny. Nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice to keep you happy and safe. You are my life, Yundol… my very reason for living.” His gaze drank in the beauty of Yunho’s face as tears blurred his vision, emotion welling up inside of him, nearly choking him. “I would die if anything ever happened to you, sweetheart. I would cease to live if I ever lost you. So don’t leave me, okay? Don’t ever leave me. Stay with me forever. Be with me, Yunho-ah… always and forever.” Leaning down, he tenderly kissed Yunho’s faintly scarred forehead then buried his face in Yunho’s silky-soft hair. “I love you sooo much, baby,” he whispered again; his voice choked with emotion. “Ah, Yunho… I love you sooo much.”

Yes, Changmin and Yunho were each other's boyfriend now as well as each other's best friend and band mate. They were as close as two human beings could be now. And Changmin was determined to let nothing come between them and tear them apart.

~*~

To be continued...