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Barbara Gordon's Backup Blackmail Material

Summary:

What would happen if the Batfam had a Ring camera equivalent?
Featuring:
- A very scientific experiment involving a cow
- Fermented tea vs energy drinks: debate of the generation
- Rain vs Alfred: standoff of the decade
- Flying cats
- Explosions (off screen)
- Arguments ranging from playful to heated
- Speaking of heated: mild solar radiation
- Rain vs Jason
- Rain vs Jason II: the sequel, the musical (except without the musical part)
- Games taken as seriously as you'd anticipate
- Sleep deprivation, shower thoughts, insects, ornithology, overabundant mentions of arson, and one existential crisis
- All of the above and more, not necessarily in that order

Chapter 1: Introduction

Notes:

Disclaimer:
While I have perused various floorplans of Wayne Manor, I am making decisions as to layout in accordance with what makes sense to me aka it is probably inaccurate, and I am pretending I don’t care.
Similarly, while I have read a couple comics, webcomics, and many fanfics, I do not presume that my portrayal is at all accurate to any of the above. I choose to have fun and write nonsense because I’m having a rough time and want to make myself and others smile (hopefully).
Also, if something like this already exists, sorry, I came up with my own version late at night when I was Supposed to be Falling Asleep (come on! Get it together brain and turn off when you’re supposed to).
If you have made it to this point and have not lost interest, congratulations, I guess. I wish you a good day or more likely, a good night! And if you plan to lay siege to a neighboring castle, I wish you a good knight or rather twenty.

Chapter Text

For the good of the Wayne family and her blackmail file compilation, Barbara Gordon positioned an additional security camera above the main family entrance to the Wayne manor. The make and model (designed in a joint effort between herself and Tim for unobtrusive safehouse monitoring) ensured that the camera was not easily detectable. Due to the nature of the camouflage, the camera’s view was not adjustable and allowed the sole receiver of collected data (Barbara) a lovely view of the (relatively) small covered stone porch, the steps descending, the beginning and end of the handicap ramp (running parallel to the house doubling back halfway to end near the stairs), a portion of the stone paved walk to the family driveway, a fair bit of lawn, and the surrounding landscaping (prominently featuring one of Alfred’s rose bushes, a corner of a redbud along with other perennials).

In the months following the installation, Barbara Gordon edited and saved notable clips. If one were to manage, by some miracle, magic or insane level of genius, to hack Ms. Gordon’s computer, you may find the following.