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Abby had never thought he wanted kids. Let’s face it: he wasn’t exactly prime parent material. But he’d been playing uncle to Jinu and Rumi’s daughter for a couple years now and he was actually pretty good at it, so he’d started to change his mind about that. Naturally he’d assumed it wasn’t ever going to be a possibility since he was a demon, but apparently their sperm was just as potent as a human’s because Jinu had gotten Rumi knocked up only a few short weeks after they’d tied the knot. He and Mira usually used protection though just to be safe, and he figured having a baby wasn’t on her top list of priorities despite the Honmoon being permanently sealed now and Huntrix basically being retired except for their ongoing music career which they’d continued to keep their fans happy. Yet lately she’d been looking at him differently… kind of like she was sizing him up for something. Finally one night she’d stopped dancing around the subject and flat out asked him how he’d feel about having a child of their own.
Honestly, their relationship was pretty solid. So on the one hand, why change things up when what they already had was clearly working so well? On the other, he didn’t want her to end up resenting him someday if he didn’t want to. She’d probably tell him that would never happen to try and let him off the hook, but he knew it would eventually drive a wedge between them. Time wasn’t exactly on their side - not for her, anyway. And if he kept dragging his feet on this and waited until she couldn’t conceive anymore, then it could ruin everything between them. So he’d told her if that was something she wanted, then he was all in. It’s not like he was totally against the idea and merely going along with it for her sake. He was just a little worried that he might screw things up. But hey, if she thought he might be halfway decent at it, he was willing to give it a try. Who knows? Maybe he’d be a natural. If not, the kid would be surrounded by lots of people who would love and spoil him (or her) which should easily make up for any of his shortcomings.
They’d tried the old fashioned way to get Mira pregnant, and that part was a whole lot of fun. Sometimes they were having sex two or three times a day, but it had been several weeks now and her womb was still empty. So they decided to go to a fertility clinic which is where they received the crushing news that Mira couldn’t carry a child to term. But the doctor informed them they still had options like using a surrogate: one that they would be able to choose after going through an extensive screening process and sifting through a list of suitable options.
Of course Mira told Rumi and Zoey about it, and for awhile she seemed kind of on the fence about tasking some stranger with something as important as carrying their baby. She didn’t trust a whole lot of people and since this child would be half demon (if they used Abby’s sperm to fertilize the egg which had been their plan), it made things a lot more complicated. Rumi’s pregnancy had gone relatively smoothly, but that could’ve been because she wasn’t completely human herself. Therefore her body had been more equipped to handle it.
Rumi actually offered to be their surrogate and once they’d talked it over extensively with both her and Jinu, it seemed like the perfect solution. But unfortunately they ran into another problem. Even though they’d harvested Mira’s eggs and fertilized them, none of the embryos were viable. Abby assured her that it was okay: that they could just keep trying. Mira didn’t think she could deal with any more bad news though and had convinced herself that no matter how many times they kept repeating the process, the results would always be the same. Maybe this was a sign that it simply wasn’t meant to be.
To try and cheer her up they’d all gone out to dinner at her favorite restaurant, but she’d hardly touched her food and had barely said a word.
Abby felt completely useless. He knew she blamed herself which was stupid because it’s not like this was anything she could control. Plus she was in perfect health, so none of this really made any sense. There was a medical term for it though and the doctor had gone over all the details but the explanation had kind of gone way over Abby’s head, and all Mira had heard was that she was defective.
“Maybe I can help,” Romance said after pouring Mira another glass of wine.
Abby cocked a brow. “How?”
“I know it’s not originally what you wanted, but you could use one of the surrogate’s eggs. A lot of times it’s easier than trying to implant a fertilized embryo.”
Rumi exchanged a long look with Jinu who gave her a silent nod. “He’s right. We could definitely try-“
“No,” Mira firmly replied, cutting Rumi off.
“Why not?”
“Because if anything goes wrong and you weren’t able to have any more kids, I’d never forgive myself.” She’d only said yes to begin with because she was desperate, but that was a mistake. This was way too much to ask from someone.
Rumi frowned. There were always potential risks, but they shouldn’t be any higher now just because they were going to use one of her own eggs instead of Mira’s.
“Listen, we appreciate what you’re trying to do for us, but you and Jinu haven’t even had a chance to talk this over.”
“We already agreed.”
“Yeah, but that was different.”
“How?”
“Because now I’m going to be impregnating his wife,” Abby stated bluntly. Obviously that was an oversimplification, but it was still the truth. Even though the baby would belong to him and Mira, biologically it would be his and Rumi’s. It just felt like they were crossing a line here.
Rumi cut her eyes over to Jinu, expecting him to back her up on this and tell Abby that that was ridiculous. But he didn’t say anything.
Things were beginning to get a little tense, so Romance cut in. “I wasn’t talking about Rumi.”
“Then who were you talking about?”
“Me,” he responded, his voice so quiet it was barely audible.
Abby bristled. “Cut it out, man. That’s not fucking funny.”
“It’s not a joke. I mean it.”
“You should probably stop talking,” Mystery warned. Abby looked about five seconds away from punching Romance in the face.
Abby could feel the blood pounding in his ears and his hand had already balled into a fist down by his side, but Mira latched on to his arm to keep him from physically lashing out. “I know I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but last time I checked men couldn’t get pregnant,” he sneered.
Romance squirmed in his seat, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to leap out of his chest. “I wasn’t… born a man.”
Baby nearly choked on his food and Zoey who’d been taking a sip from her glass accidentally spit out some of her drink while everyone else stared back at Romance in a stunned silence.
“Wait, what?”
“I was born female, but I always felt wrong: like I was stuck in someone else’s body.”
“Oh! He’s transgender,” Zoey blurted out once the initial shock wore off and she was able to put all the pieces together.
For such a small person, she sure could be awfully loud sometimes, although fortunately they were in a private room. Otherwise everyone in the entire restaurant would’ve overheard. Not that it was anything to be ashamed of, but Rumi felt pretty confident that Romance didn’t want the whole world to know yet since he’d kept this a secret from everyone - including them - for so long.
Abby still had no clue what the hell they were talking about. It was like they were all speaking a foreign language. “What does that mean?”
“That he doesn’t identify with the sex he was assigned at birth,” Zoey explained.
So this was actually a thing? Other people had felt this way too? “Let me get this straight: what you’re saying is you’re a guy trapped in a girl’s body?”
“Basically, yeah.” That was probably the easiest way to explain it.
Abby laughed, because it sounded absolutely absurd. But when Mira shot him a disapproving look, he realized that this wasn’t a joke. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Romance nodded.
“Wow. That’s…” He really didn’t know how to respond to that. For now he probably should’ve just thanked him for his generous offer, but he was still trying to wrap his head around all of this. “Okay, I gotta ask. If you were born a female, does that mean you don’t have a di-“ His sentence was cut short when Mira harshly elbowed him in the chest and cast another pointed glare in his direction.
Abby took the hint (which hadn’t been the least bit subtle), and rephrased his question. “All your downstairs parts are female?” He couldn’t believe he’d just said that out loud.
“Yeah.” Back in his day, no one had ever heard of a transgender person. But now even though it wasn’t that common, he’d discovered that there were others out there like him and there was actually such a thing as a sexual reassignment surgery if he wanted to make it official. He’d been considering it for awhile - ever since they’d helped Huntrix turn the Honmoon gold. Because even though they’d gotten to stay in the human world, their powers were extremely limited. He couldn’t use them to alter his physical appearance anymore, at least not that part of his anatomy. Why, he wasn’t sure. He could still morph into his demon form and maintain his Saja Boys persona, but that was it.
Maybe it was Gwi-Ma’s doing: his way of punishing him for his betrayal. It was the only plausible explanation Romance could come up with. Gwi-Ma wasn’t going to honor the deal they’d made if he couldn’t control him anymore. So he’d started looking into other alternatives and had done a fair amount of research on the subject. It was kind of a good thing he hadn’t gone through with it yet though, because then he wouldn’t be able to do this.
An uncomfortable silence had settled across the table, and Romance knew it was because they were freaked out by what he’d just told them even though no one had come right out and directly said that they thought it was weird or sick. But it was pretty easy to read their body language. Mystery had gone so still he looked like a statue, Baby wouldn’t make eye contact with him, and Jinu… he could practically see the wheels spinning in his head as he cycled through about a half a dozen different emotions. It was like he was trying to process it but couldn’t.
“Why didn’t you tell us? Did you think we wouldn’t understand?” Jinu finally asked.
“I don’t know.” Truthfully he hadn’t known how to break the news to them, and the longer he’d put it off the easier it became to just pretend that he was one of the guys. But no, he didn’t really expect them to understand. How could they? They were all from a different time. He didn’t hold that against them though. It wasn’t an easy thing to comprehend. He knew that because he’d struggled with it himself for years before Gwi-Ma had made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. “I guess it just never came up.”
“I think it’s so sweet that you’d be willing to do that for them,” Zoey gushed, flashing Romance a broad smile.
“It does mean a lot to us, and we’ll definitely consider it. I think we just need a little time to talk everything over first before giving you our final decision.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?” Mira asked, cutting her eyes over to Abby.
“I said no,” he repeated, although he was pretty sure from her reaction that she’d heard him clearly the first time.
“You say that like you’re the only one making this decision,” she snapped.
“What is he supposed to tell his fans? Or are we just going to keep him locked up in the tower for nine months?”
“You are so out of line of line right now,” Mira angrily replied.
“Am I?” Last time he’d checked, they were supposed to mutually agree on who was going to carry their child. “You really think we’re going to be able to hide something like this?” Because if anyone truly thought that, they were delusional.
“Why should we have to hide it?”
Really? She seriously needed to ask that question? Fine. He’d spell it out for her. “How do you think people are going to react to finding out one of the Saja Boys is actually a woman?” At least anatomically… Which ordinarily they could easily conceal, but not if he had a baby.
“He’s not.”
“Oh, come on. You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t,” Mira responded stubbornly.
“I can’t believe you’re being so casual about this,” Abby said incredulously.
“Just stop it, alright?! You’re being a jerk.”
“How would you react if you found out one of your closest friends had been keeping a secret this big from you?”
“Um, hello… I’ve known Rumi since we were kids, and I only found out she was part demon a few years ago.” That had been pretty huge, so she could totally relate.
“Yeah, and how did you take it?”He didn’t really need her to answer that because he knew that neither her or Zoey had embraced Rumi with open arms the second they’d found out. He was just making a point.
Mira was fuming now and Romance could tell that things were about to get ugly so he tried to mitigate the damage before things escalated any more than they already had. “I’m sorry. It was a stupid idea. Just forget I said anything.”
But Mira refused to let it go. “Can I talk to you a second?”
Abby let out an annoyed huff but followed her anyway knowing that if he didn’t he’d just be prolonging the inevitable. Might as well get this over with.
Mira led him all the way outside and around the back of the building to make sure they were completely out of earshot before whirling around to face him and punching him in the shoulder, her eyes blazing. “What is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how hard that must’ve been for him? All he wanted to do was help, and you made him feel like crap. You’re supposed to be his friend.”
“I am his friend.”
“Sure could’ve fooled me,” she muttered under her breath.
Abby’s temper flared. “You’re such a hypocrite.”
“Oh yeah?” She retorted, tightly folding her arms across her chest. “How so?”
“You’re going to stand there and lecture me about how I should be more open-minded and sensitive to his feelings? He just told us that even though he was born a female he identifies as a man, and you want him to carry our child? Have you even thought about how that’s going to mess with his head?” Romance’s heart was in the right place, but there’s no way he’d fully thought this through. “And yeah. I did see how hard this was for him. Did you? Because if he was that uncomfortable just telling us, do you really think he’s ready to announce it to the rest of the world? To deal with seeing it splattered all over social media and on the cover of every magazine?”
Mira’s eyes were still narrowed into slits but they weren’t shooting daggers at him anymore which meant that he was at least beginning to get through that thick skull of hers.
“Look, you can think whatever you want about me, but I’m just trying to look out for him.” Was it a little weird to picture Romance having a baby? Yeah, it was, but he could past all of that once he’d had some time to wrap his head around the whole thing. That’s not what this was about though.
“I get that,” Mira said with an exasperated sigh - at least she did now. “But all you said was no.” He hadn’t explained his reasoning, so Romance probably thought he’d shot down the idea just because of the unusual circumstances.
“I’ll talk to him and clear things up.” Because Romance did deserve an explanation. “But before I do I have to ask, how do you really feel about it? His offer…”
“Honestly, I think if he’s seriously considering transitioning into a man biologically then this might be his only chance to ever have a child of his own. And yeah, technically it’ll be ours. I’m not worried about him getting all territorial about it, but maybe this would be good for him too: so that he doesn’t have any regrets later on.”
Damn, he hadn’t thought about it that way. “So you’re completely on board with this?”
“Yeah, I am. I know it might seem a little strange, but there’s nothing normal about any of us.” It wasn’t natural for them to be together either, and if anyone had tried to tell her five years ago that she’d end up in a committed relationship with a demon she probably would’ve either laughed in their face or hit them. Yet here they were still going strong. Well, for the most part - they’d had a few bumps in the road (like this one).
Abby still had his doubts about whether this was a good idea, but he’d never been one to play it safe. So if this was what Mira wanted and Romance really was okay with all of it, then he wasn’t going to stand in the way. “You’re right … about all of it. I was way out of line, and I apologize for what I said to you.”
“I’m not the only one you need to apologize to,” Mira sternly reminded him.
“I know.” But one step at a time. “Are we good?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Abby crowded in closer so he could give her a hug before planting a kiss on the top of her forehead (because a peck on the lips at the moment might be pushing it). He didn’t want to fight with her, and now that he’d had a few minutes to decompress he was starting to feel guilty for stressing her out on what had already been a difficult day for her. It seemed like he was always saying the wrong thing… Apparently he still hadn’t found his filter.
- - - -
As soon as they got back to the table, Abby pulled Romance aside for what was hands down the most awkward conversation he’d ever had in his entire life. But they needed to resolve this now so there weren’t any more hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
He had started mentally rehearsing everything in his head because he didn’t want anything to come out wrong (and given his track record it probably would if he didn’t choose his words carefully), so when Romance spoke first it kind of threw him off.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, and I shouldn’t have blindsided you like that.”
“You didn’t, so stop apologizing. It’s just been a rough day.” Especially for Mira, and whenever she was upset that always put him on edge. In hindsight, he definitely could’ve shown a lot more compassion and understanding. So that’s what he decided to lead with: making sure Romance didn’t feel attacked. “First off I want you to know that this doesn’t change anything. You’re still the same person you were yesterday.”
“But your answer’s still no.”
Was he really that transparent? “That depends.”
“On what?
“On you,” Abby replied. “I need you to level with me, man to man - or man to half-man.”
“Okay,” Romance agreed, ignoring his jab.
“Are you sure about this? I know you want to help us out and I appreciate that more than you know, but this is a really big commitment. And we don’t even know if it is a possibility yet. You’d have to get a physical, and then they’ll need to run a bunch of tests… There’s going to be a lot of invasive questions.” Some of which he’d have to lie about like how old he was.
“I’m fine with all that.” He wouldn’t have said anything unless he was one hundred percent sure he could go through with it. “But are you?” It was no secret that he used to have a crush on Mira too, and just because Abby was trying to be cool about him coming out as a trans man didn’t mean that any of this was easy for him to accept. “Now I need you be honest with me. If this all too weird for you, then I’d understand.”
Abby tugged at the back of his neck then randomly flexed his arms, a subconscious habit he had when he was trying to cover up the fact that he was nervous. “I’m not going to lie… it’s going to take a little getting used to. But I meant what I said before. Just because you don’t have any balls doesn’t make you any less of a man in my eyes. And to tell you the truth, I always thought you were a little on the feminine side,” he said with a smirk.
Romance snorted in amusement. “Thanks.”
“I mean you’re just so pretty,” Abby teased, reaching out to slide a couple of his fingers through Romance’s soft and silky hair which almost never had a single strand out of place.
Romance playfully smacked Abby’s hand away. “I hate you sometimes,” he deadpanned.
“Yeah, but you gotta admit I keep things interesting.”
That was true. With Abby there was never a dull moment.
“Well, I guess that settles it then. We’ll schedule you an appointment with the doctor and go from there. But if at any point you change your mind, I want you to come to me first.”
“You have my word,” Romance promised, although he knew that was never going to happen. His mind was already made up. If he was capable of doing this for Mira and Abby, then he was going to no matter how scary or difficult it turned out to be.