Chapter Text
Revised
“I've been summoned to a parallel world!" Subaru shouted, throwing his arms wide, eyes shining with excitement.
"I've been summoned to a parallel world!" another voice shouted at the exact same time, with the exact same tone but this one sounded feminine.
Subaru froze, shocked at what he just heard, slowly he turned his head to where the other voice sounded from.
Standing ten feet away from him was someone who'd apparently also just screamed like an idiot…… Someone who was also wearing a white jacket with orange and black, and had the same messy black hair he did……Someone who was with their arms thrown wide like his are even now.
The person lowered their arms at the same moment Subaru did, both their eyes met, filling them with even more shock at what they both saw.
Subaru's brain stuttered to a complete halt, It was him… No… wait. Not him. Her?!
The face was his face, just more feminine…..the same features, the same sharp mean looking eyes. But where those features on him were awkward and unremarkable, on her they were... stunning. Things that he'd always been self conscious about somehow looked beautiful on her face. Her eyes seemed larger but not in a bad way, framed by longer lashes. Her features were softer, more delicate, but arranged in a way that was genuinely beautiful. Her body was slimmer, unmistakably feminine, with curves in places Subaru definitely didn't have curves. Her hair was styled differently since it was way longer than his, falling past her shoulders and to her waist one of her eyes was even a bit covered by her hair too. In conclusion to Subaru she looked somewhat ethereal. It…… was strange and more than a little unsettling to see his own features transformed into something that could genuinely be called beautiful which made his chest tighten in envy.
What Subaru didn't know, couldn't know, was that Natsumi was having the exact same thoughts in reverse. The features that looked plain and unremarkable on her somehow worked on him beautifully. The things she was self conscious about somehow looked good on his face. His eyes even in shock shined beautifully, something she doubted her eyes could ever do, not to mention as to where she saw herself as awkward, tomboyish and exceedingly average, he somehow looked handsome without even trying which made her chest tighten in envy.
They were mirrors of each other, both with the same overwhelming self-hatred, both convinced they'd gotten the worse end of the deal seeing their more attractive counterparts part in their eyes.
She was staring at him with the exact same expression of complete and utter shock that Subaru could feel on his own face.
They both scrambled to compose themselves at the same time, never breaking eye contact.
"What the fuck," Subaru said.
"What the fuck," she echoed, her voice higher than his but with the same tone of disbelief.
They stared at each other for a long moment. A cart rattled past between them, the driver calling out something though neither of them moved.
"Okay…" Subaru finally said, running a hand through his hair nervously. "Okay, so I'm either having a psychotic break, or I got hit by a truck on the way back from the convenience store and this is my dying hallucination, or—"
"—or we both got isekai'd," she finished Subaru’s sentence which kinda freaked him out as it seemed both were in sync physically and mentally.
"You're..."
"You're..."
They both stopped talking, waiting for the other to say what they were about to say… both stayed silent for a moment before taking this opportunity to speak once more.
"Are you—"
"Are you—"
"Stop that!" they both shouted.
A nearby merchant gave them a weirded out look and hurried away, muttering something about "weird kids."
The girl, the other him, whatever she was, pressed her hands to her face. "This isn't happening! This is insane! I'm… going insane."
"You and me both," Subaru muttered, while taking a step closer to her ‘our resemblance is kinda uncanny…’ "Who… are you?" Subaru knew the question was kinda dumb like obviously this is HIM as a girl but still a good way to start a proper conversation… probably it has been a while since he talked to anyone his age.
She lowered her hands, her eyes now showing a mix of emotions, confusion, fright, but also a strange fascination. "I'm... Natsumi. Natsumi Natsuki."
‘Natsumi……’ Of course she was. Because apparently the universe had a sense of humor ‘Of course her name is nearly the same as… Natsumi Schwartz’ Subaru decided to think about that later, not feeling like dissecting how she was even better looking than that version of himself. “I’m… Subaru. Subaru Natsuki.”
"I know…" she said quietly. "You're... you're me. Or I'm you. Or we're both..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "This doesn't make sense." ‘Not to mention him having almost the same name as Subaru Schwartz.. the universe sure has a sense of humor today huh.’ Natsumi just like Subaru didn’t feel like dissecting how her counterpart looked better than her cross dressing persona.
"Yeah, welcome to the club." Subaru looked around at the fantasy medieval city surrounding them. "Nothing about this makes sense. I was just at the convenience store now, where even are we?"
"I don't know. I was just leaving the convenience store and then—" Natsumi's eyes widened. "Wait. You were at a convenience store too?"
"Yeah. I'd just bought a cup of noodles and—" He looked around for his shopping bag, which was in his hand… “—and then I was here."
"Same," Natsumi breathed. "I was heading home from the store and suddenly I was just... here." She hugged herself, looking small and lost. "What's happening to us?"
Subaru wanted to have an answer. He wanted to be confident and reassuring, to tell her everything would be okay. But he was just as scared and confused as she was, and lying about it seemed pointless when she was literally him and would see right through it anyway, the moment he saw her or himself he felt reality bring him back to his senses not even letting him dream of adventures or a heroic journey just the reality of his situation now.
"I don't know," Subaru admitted sincerely, letting his voice show how small and lost he also felt. "But... at least we're not alone?"
Natsumi looked at him, her expression softening at his words. "Yeah. At least there's that."
They stood there for a moment letting each other's presence calm the other down, both halves of the same person, equally lost in a world that they shouldn’t be in.
"So," Subaru said eventually, since standing around wasn't going to help them in any way right now. "I guess we should... figure out where we are?"
"Yeah" Natsumi nodded, then glanced down at herself. "Though maybe first we should... I don't know, make sure we're actually real? This could still be a dream."
Before Subaru could respond, she reached out and pinched his cheek hard. "Ow! What the hell?!"
"You felt that?" Natsumi looked at him with a smile that was hiding her urge to laugh.
"Of course I felt it! You pinched me really hard!" Subaru rubbed his cheek trying to ease the pain.
"So you're real." She reached out again and pinched his other cheek.
"Stop that!" Subaru batted her hand away before she got the chance to do it for the third time, then pinched her back. "See? You're real too."
"Ow!" Natsumi rubbed her cheek, before giggling at the expression Subaru had on "Okay, so we're both real, both here, Both—"
“—Both apparently in a fantasy world," Subaru continued her sentence this time while gesturing at their surroundings. "Because that's a thing that happens now, I guess…."
They started walking, neither of them quite sure where they were going but both feeling like they needed to move, to do something. The streets were busy with people going about their business, merchants on their carriages dragged by big lizards, children running between adults' legs, the occasional person in fancier clothing.
"This is so surreal," Natsumi murmured, staring at everything with wide eyes. "It's like we're in a video game or an anime or something."
"Yeah, if someone had told me yesterday that being isekai was real, I would've laughed at them," Subaru replied before pausing and looking at her. "Wait, do you play video games? I mean, do I… do you—"
"Yeah," Natsumi answered. "RPGs mostly. Some visual novels." She gave him a sidelong look. "You?"
"Same. Though I probably play more shooters than you do."
"Probably." She kicked at a loose cobblestone. "This really is pretty weird, talking to myself but not myself."
"Tell me about it." Subaru couldn’t agree more about the weirdness of having his genderbend self next to him. "Man this isn’t anything like the games or anime about isekai stories, there's usually like... a princess or a goddess who explains everything and gives you a quest or whatever."
"Do you see any princesses or goddesses around?" Natsumi looked at him.
"No, but..." Subaru looked around. The street they were on, opened into what looked like a market square ahead. "Maybe there's like, an adventurer's guild or something? A place where we can get information?"
"Or we could just ask someone," Natsumi suggested.
Subaru considered this. "Yeah, but what do we even ask? 'Hey, excuse me, we just appeared here out of nowhere and don't know anything about anything, can you help?' They'll think we're crazy."
"We might be crazy," Natsumi pointed out. "Maybe instead of a dream this is a hallucination from all those all nighters catching up."
"That's a cheerful thought. But I doubt it since I still feel the pain from when you pinched me…”
“Stop whining, it'll go away soon,” Natsumi teased.
They wandered into the market square, both of them trying not to stare too obviously at everything. The stalls were full of things Subaru had only ever seen in games or anime, weapons and armor, what looked like actual magic items glowing faintly in one vendor's display.
Magic items. Magic was real here!?. That was actually real!.
"Holy shit," both said simultaneously.
They drifted closer to the stall with the glowing items. The vendor, a middle aged woman with soft eyes, looked them up and down assessingly. "You two look lost, new to the capital?"
"You could say that," Subaru's eyes sparkled with curiosity as the items kept glowing. "We're... travelers. From far away."
"Very far away," Natsumi added, having the same expression as him.
The woman nodded like this explained their strange behavior. "Well, if you're looking for lodging, there are several good inns around. The inn over there has reasonable rates, if you don't mind sharing a room." She gave them a knowing smile pointing at where it was. "You two are together, right?"
"We're—" Subaru instantly sobered up from his excitement at seeing magic items, feeling his face heat up rapidly.
"Yes," Natsumi said quickly even as her face could be seen turning the same shade Subaru’s were becoming. "We're together. Thanks for the recommendation."
The vendor nodded and turned to another customer. Subaru stared at Natsumi. "Why did you say we're together?" he hissed.
"Because it's easier than explaining the truth?" she hissed back. "What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, we're actually the same person from different realities or timeline who somehow both got isekai'd at the same time'?"
"Point taken," Subaru muttered. Though the idea of people thinking they were a couple was... weird. Really weird. She was him. That was almost like... no, he wasn't going to finish that thought. ‘If anything it’d be a form of self love right? Not like I know much about that…’
They continued exploring, slowly getting a sense of the city's layout. It was huge, sprawling, with different districts devoted to different things. And there was also what looked like the slums. They decided to stay away from there since they weren’t trying to get robbed. It also told them that even in different worlds the poor and unfortunate always existed.
The sun was starting to set, painting the sky in shades of orange. Subaru's stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten since... well it was hard to tell specifically how many hours it had been but before all this."We should probably find that inn, get a room for the night and figure out our next move."
“Yeah it’s getting late…… wait with what money?" Natsuni froze.
Subaru froze. "Shit… Right, we don't have any money, we're completely broke in this world."
They looked at each other, the same realization dawning on both their faces at the same time. "Our phones," they said in unison.
Subaru pulled his flip phone out of his pocket. No signal, obviously, but the device itself was still valuable, probably, hopefully… It was advanced technology in a medieval fantasy world. Someone would pay for it, right?
Natsumi had hers out too. "If we sell one, we should have enough for a room and some food, right?"
"Probably? I don't know what the exchange rate is for 'futuristic technology from another world' to 'medieval fantasy currency.'" Subaru scratched his cheek nervously hoping this worked otherwise they were in trouble.
"Only one way to find out." Natsumi looked equally nervous.
They spent the next half hour trying to find someone who might be interested in buying a strange technological advance device from another world. It turned out to be harder than expected.
Finally, they found a merchant who seemed genuinely intrigued. After a demonstration of the phone's functions, the camera, the calculator, he offered them a price that seemed reasonable, though neither Subaru nor Natsumi had any real frame of reference.
"25 Holy Gold coins ," the merchant said. "That's my final offer."
Subaru looked at Natsumi, she shrugged, then they sold Subaru’s phone, pocketing the heavy coins with a sense of relief. At least they wouldn't starve and they might be rich. I mean it was Gold, it had to be a lot… hopefully.
The sun was nearly down now, and the air was getting noticeably colder. They asked a passerby for directions to the inn they were looking for and started heading that way, both of them tired and ready to just lay down for a while.
"Today has been insane," Subaru sighed as they walked.
"Understatement of the century," Natsumi agreed before wrapping her arms around herself. "Is it just me, or is it getting really cold?"
"Yeah, I noticed that too." Subaru frowned. "Maybe it's just because the sun's going down?"
"Maybe." Natsumi responded slightly shivering.
But it kept getting colder… Unnaturally cold. To the point where you’d think it was winter already. Their breath started coming out in visible puffs, frost beginning to form on the cobblestones.
People around them were noticing too, merchants hastily packed up their stalls, parents grabbed their children and hurried inside, the streets were emptying fast.
"This isn't normal…” Natsumi’s voice was laced with worry as she saw a few start running.
Subaru agreed, shivering from the cold. "Yeah.."
The temperature plummeted further. Ice was spreading across the ground now, creeping up the walls of buildings. The sky had gone dark,
And then Subaru heard the screaming.
It started somewhere in the distance, but it was getting closer. Lots more people were running now, panicking, fleeing from something so Subaru grabbed Natsumi's hand on instinct. "We need to get inside before we freeze,"
"Where?" Natsumi's eyes were wide with fear. "The inn is in the direction of the screaming"
The cold intensified so suddenly that Subaru gasped, his lungs aching with each breath. The ice was everywhere now, coating everything, and still the temperature dropped more as snow began to fall rapidly. Through the chaos of fleeing people, Subaru saw it, a massive shape in the sky, barely visible against the night sky, a four legged, feline, with fur, it was enormous, the size of multiple buildings, its eyes glowing with intelligence like it knew what it was doing, "What..." Subaru couldn't finish the sentence as his teeth were chattering too hard.
"W-What," Natsumi whispered beside him. "What is that thing?" the creature… the monster’s eyes blink and a wave of freezing air swept across the city even harder. Natsumi felt her skin begin to burn from the cold, ice crystals forming on his eyelashes while her hand was still intertwined with Subarus, they both held on tighter.
Subaru felt his lips going numb "W-we need t-to run"
They stumbled forward, but their legs weren't working right, the cold was too intense, Subaru fell to his knees, dragging Natsumi down with him, the ice was everywhere, covering everything, and he couldn't feel his fingers anymore.
"Subaru," Natsumi's voice was faint, barely audible over the howling wind. "I can't... I-I can't move..."
"Me n-neither," he managed to say, his vision was blurring, everything hurt and then, suddenly, it stopped hurting, his body going numb from the intense cold.
They collapsed together on the frozen ground.
Subaru could barely see Natsumi's face next to his, could barely register that her hand was still in his, the last thing he saw before everything went black was the giant monster's yellow eyes shining brightly through the snow storm. ‘I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want her to die , I don’t want us to die, I don’t want this, why, why, why, I was just starting to have fun, I had just found someone who understood me, I, this can’t be happening, don’t die, don’t, please don’t, please don’t die, I don’t want you to die, I don’t want us to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t you to die, I don’t want this to be the end, this isn’t fair, isn’t fair, isn’t fair, summoned, meet another you, than death!? Why bring me here if this is how it’s all gonna end!? Why bring us? Why bring her!?!? This doesn’t make sense, none of this makes sense, I don’t want to die, just another chance, just one more, let me save “myself”… her, let me use this miserable life that is Subaru Natsuki for something good, I gotta at least save one person, No, I will, I will save her, no matter what I will save YOU.’
Natsumi could barely see Subaru’s face next to her, could barely register that her hand was still in his, but from what she could see of Subaru, she saw tears in his eyes, some tears that had stayed frozen in his cheeks expanding and cutting into his skin, drawing blood that also froze soon after, she looked around and saw that monsters eyes shining brightly through the snow storm, the last thing she saw before everything went black was Subaru’s face covered in frozen tears and blood, she doubted he had noticed as his eyes were solely on that monster, her face probably also looked like his. ‘I don’t want to die, I don’t want this to be the end, I don’t want him to die, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, Why is this happening? I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want us to die, I was just starting to have fun, why, why, why, how can this be the end? It’s too abrupt, it’s not fair, I had just found someone who understood me, I don’t want to die, summoned to another world just to meet another me and then death?! No, this isn’t right, it isn’t! This isn’t how an isekai story is supposed to go! Where is the Op skill you get when sent to another world?! This isn’t fair, I don’t want him to die and I don’t want to die, I don’t want any of us to die, can I at least do something useful with my life before I get killed!? At least… at least let me save him, No I will, I have to, I gotta at least do that much with my worthless life, this won’t be the end, it can’t be, just give me one more chance, one more chance, once more……… no matter what I will save YOU’
And then………… They were standing on cobblestones again, but they weren't frozen, the air wasn't cold and the sky was bright with afternoon sunlight.
Subaru gasped, jerking upright, his heart was pounding, his lungs burning like he'd been holding his breath, he looked down at his hands, they were fine. No frostbite, no ice, no—
"Holy shit!"
He spun around. Natsumi was there, a few feet away, also standing, also staring at her hands in disbelief.
"Did you—" Subaru stared at her, his eyes teary with relief.
She also looked at him with teary eyes,"I-I died," Natsumi murmured. "We died, That thing, that snow storm… w-w froze to death"
"You remember it too?" Subaru went over to her. "It's not just me?"
"No! I remember all of it!" Her voice was shaking. "The cold, the snow storm, that monster in the sky…" ‘…your face covered in frozen tears and blood’
Subaru stared at her, his mind racing… They'd died, both of them, he was sure of it the cold had killed them… But now they were here, alive, back where they'd started. "We... we went back," he said slowly. "We died and then we went back in time." ‘Another chance…’
They stood there for a moment, both trying to process what had just happened. Around them, the city continued as normal, the same merchants, the same passersby, everything exactly as it had been when they first arrived.
"This is like..." Natsumi's eyes widened, grabbing Subaru's shoulders. "Like a video game. When you die, you respawn at a checkpoint."
"Return by Death," Subaru murmured. "We can come back from death." ‘This is the other chance I wanted, this time I can save us… I can save You,’
"Both of us." Natsumi let go of his shoulders as she saw her hand shaking. "We both remember. We both came back." ‘Another chance to stop our deaths… another chance, this time I will save us, I will save You,’
The implications of that hit Subaru like a truck. They were connected somehow. Not just by their appearance, not just by being alternate versions of each other, but by this ability. This curse? Gift? Whatever it was, feeling his hands shaking Subaru looked at Natsumi’s who were also the same way "Hey." He grabbed her arm gently. "Are you okay?"
It was a stupid question. Of course she wasn't okay. Neither of them were okay. They'd just experienced death. But Natsumi seemed to understand what he was really asking. "I'm... I don't know. I'm freaking out. But I'm handling it. Are you?"
"Same," Subaru admitted. "This is insane… This is absolutely insane."
"Yeah." Natsumi took a shaky breath. "But we need to... we need to figure out what to do. That thing killed us….that monster, it's all going to happen again unless we do something different."
Subaru's mind was already working through the implications. "Right. So we know that if we stay in the city, we die. Which means..." ‘we leave and let everyone… die’
"We need to leave," Natsumi finished. "Before that thing shows up." ‘Even if it means leaving everyone else to die, I-I can see that… expression again’
"Can we though?" Subaru looked at Natsumi, his hand still holding hers, ‘I don’t want to die, I don’t want her to die, I don’t want us to die, but…’ Subaru felt like he still had to say the other stuff they could do out loud to fully hear how ridiculous they sounded and get rid of his isekai hero delusions. "I mean, shouldn't we try to stop it? If we have this power… maybe we're… supposed to be heroes or—"
"No." Natsumi's voice was firm as she remembered his face in the last loop, her head cleared of isekai hero delusions the moment she saw that. "Subaru, did you see that thing? It was huge. It was a monster. We're just two normal teenagers from Japan. What are we supposed to do against something like that?"
"But people died," Subaru protested weakly, knowing she was right. "That thing killed lots in the city. We can't just run away and let that happen."
"What's the alternative?" Natsumi challenged. "We stay and die again? And again? Keep dying until we somehow figure out how to stop a giant magical monster that can freeze an entire city?"
Subaru couldn’t protest anymore. He knew from the start he couldn’t, part of him just needed it said out loud to make it clear, and if it had been her who suggested it he’d hear how dumb it sounded and wake up from those delusions countering her points the same way she is. Still it hurt him leaving all these people to die even knowing he couldn’t do any. Natsumi was right. They were nobody. They had no real power, no weapons, it's not like some beautiful silver haired girl would be waiting for a knight in shiny armor, no they had no idea what they were doing. Fighting that thing would be suicide, Not to mention after everything he said while dying he wouldn’t let his idiocy get them both kill over and over again.
"We’ll leave," he said quietly. "We get out of the city before it happens."
"Together," Natsumi added. "We stick together, okay? No splitting up."
"Together," Subaru agreed, happy that at least he wouldn’t be alone in this… even if it was his girl self keeping him company.
They helped each other walk. Subaru's legs felt shaky, and he could see that Natsumi was trembling too. Dying and coming back to life… even if they didn't fully understand how it worked, it was traumatic. But they didn't have time to process it properly. They needed to move.
"The merchant," Subaru said. "The one who was willing to buy the phone, we need to sell it and use the money to get out."
"We need to find him before he leaves," Natsumi added.
They ran this time, not bothering to explore or sightsee. They had a goal now, a plan. Find the merchant, get out of the city, survive.
It took them twenty minutes to locate him, pitch the phone and get the amount they previously got. Now all that was left is to find someone to take them out of here.
Lucky for them a merchant was loading crates onto a wagon near the city gates. He had the look of someone who dealt in general goods, his wagon already half-full of various supplies.
"Excuse me!" Subaru called out, jogging over with Natsumi close behind.
The merchant looked up, raising an eyebrow at two breathless teenagers. "Yes? Can I help you?"
"Are you leaving the city?" Natsumi asked.
"I am.” He looked them over curiously. "Why?"
Subaru and Natsumi exchanged a glance. They'd discussed this after getting the gold coins on what to say to convince someone to give them a ride out of the city.
"We need to leave the capital," Subaru said. "And we were hoping... maybe you'd be willing to give us a ride? We can pay—"
"No need for that," the merchant said with a wave of his hand. He was smiling, looking pleased with himself. "I've had an excellent day today. Made more than I expected on these deliveries. I'm feeling generous." He looked at them more carefully. "You two are together, yes? A couple?"
Subaru felt his face heat up, but Natsumi jumped in smoothly even as hers did as well. "Yes, we're together."
The merchant chuckled. "Young love. I remember those days. Alright, climb in the back. But I'm leaving in five minutes, so if you need to grab anything, do it now."
"We're ready to go," Natsumi said quickly.
They climbed into the wagon, settling among the crates and supplies. The merchant gave them a friendly nod and climbed into the driver's seat.
As the wagon started moving, pulling away from the city gates, Subaru felt something in his chest loosen slightly. They were getting out. They were going to survive this loop.
Natsumi was sitting next to him, close enough that their shoulders touched. She was staring back at the city as it slowly receded into the distance. "Do you think..."
"What?" Subaru looked at her.
"Do you think anyone will survive? When that thing comes?"
Subaru thought about the chaos they'd seen, the people running and screaming. He thought about that massive creature in the sky, the ice spreading everywhere. "I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe? If they got away fast enough?" But he didn't really believe it, and from the look on Natsumi's face, neither did she.
"We couldn't have stopped it," she said quietly. "Even if we'd tried."
"I know" he said weakly.
"But it still feels like we're running away." Natsumi responded
"Yeah." Subaru looked down at his hands. "It does."
They sat in silence for a while, the wagon bumping along the road. The sun was still high in the sky, they had hours before that snow storm would come, before that monster would appear. Hours that they'd bought by leaving.
"Hey," Natsumi said eventually. "At least we're not alone."
Subaru looked at her. She was trying to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. “Yeah, at least there's that." He smiled softly, As terrifying and confusing and awful as this whole situation was, at least he wasn't going through it alone. At least he had someone else who understood, who remembered, who was dealing with the same impossible nightmare.
Someone who was literally him, in a way that made the whole thing even stranger but also comforting.
They were two halves of the same person, dropped into a world that didn't make sense, with an ability they didn't understand. But they had each other, for now, that would have to be enough.
The wagon rolled on into the afternoon, carrying them away from the capital and toward an uncertain future. Behind them, its people continued about their day, unaware of the doom that would come with nightfall.
Subaru leaned back against a crate, exhausted despite having just "respawned." Beside him, Natsumi did the same.
"This is really happening," she murmured. "All of it."
"Yeah," Subaru agreed. "It really is."
"What do we do now?"
"I don't know. But... we'll figure it out.."
"Together," Natsumi murmured.
The merchant was humming to himself up front, completely oblivious to the magnitude of what his two passengers had just experienced. The sun continued its journey across the sky. And Subaru and Natsumi, two versions of the same lost soul, sat side by side and tried to come to terms with their new reality.
They had died. They had come back. And somehow, they would have to learn to live in this unfamiliar world.
But for now knowing that they saved the other from dying was enough to slightly warm their hearts from the freezing hell they both experienced.
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