Chapter Text
It was down time, everyone had retreated back into their tents to rest and stock up what's necessary for tomorrow's mission. Those who needed time alone to process today's horrors were given space, and those who needed to feel as close to home as they can get would gather around the bonfire outside and sing songs while cooking up their canned MRE dinners.
You however, spent the time in your bunk staring at the tent's roof trying to get sleepy. Yet after 15 mins, sleep just doesn't seem to come no matter how tired you felt like.
Letting out a soft sigh, you glanced over to Gabriel who's looking over some field plans at the table. His tired face was partially lit by the lantern placed at the edge of the papers strewn in front of him, creating shadows that cut clear edges on his strong and masculine features. You knew well that there was no sleeping for Gabriel, not when there was a lot in his mind. That was just the kind of person he is. Especially when he was placed in charge.
The muffled sounds of the singing outside and the flips of the papers in his hands echoed slightly inside your empty mind before you groaned aloud and stretched your limbs quite earnestly. Making Gabriel smile at your exaggerated expression as he continued to scan the papers.
"Help me out here, Gabe." you whined.
"Just close your eyes and pretend to sleep, eventually you will." he said.
"You must have some kind of ritual to help you sleep, everyone has one." laying on your side, you propped your head up on your hand and looked at him.
"Like you don't know me enough to know what mine is." he simply glanced back from the papers with an arch on his brow.
Your eyes met and you stared at him for a minute. It's true that you've known him all your life, since you were children even. Your best friend, now comrade on the field -- there wasn't a moment where you two didn't spend time together. If asked, you could give a long list of what he did and didn't like, how he makes his coffee, when he prefers to have it, or something completely random like how many pairs of socks he has.
The answer to that would be seven and a half. Why? Because one went missing during laundry day two weeks ago and he refused to throw the single sock away no matter how much you berated him to. Keeping just the one for emergencies is strategically sound he says. And honestly, you don't know how exactly can one lonely sock help because it doesn't even match his other ones.
As for his sleeping habits, he swears by the formula that was written ages ago by Llyod Bud Winter in his book. The Military Method was just done by staying as still as you can, and envisioning your whole body to relax from the top of your head, down to the tips of your toes. Coupled by some slow and steady breathing while emptying your mind of thoughts, it was supposed to be a guaranteed sleep within 120 seconds if done right.
"That never works with me though." you sigh and laid back down again.
"Then what do you want me to say?" he started to sound annoyed.
"I don't know, like, some super secret tip you know. Like doing an upward facing dog for ten minutes, who knows!"
He palmed at his face. "Just jerk off, it works with everyone." he suddenly said, all too casually.
Your eyes widen towards the tent's roof and you turn your head to look at him again, this time with shock. But his eyes remained on the papers, expressionless in contrast.
Sure, you two were close. Shared your dumb and embarrassing moments, even more so since you two joined the ranks together. The occasional nip slip or groping during spars, the accidental walk-ins when changing clothes, the list could go on. But you two were grown enough not to make a huge deal about it, and eventually nothing can ever deter you two about each other at all. You have always been friends, there hadn't been any kind of mixed signals with your relationship with him. As years went on, it just... stayed that way. And both of you were comfortable with it.
But even if you both pretty much did everything together, never had you thought to actually touch yourself in the same room as him.
There was a second of silence of you being lost in your thoughts, feeling your core pulse after remembering when exactly was the last time you ever took care of yourself. Which was, unfortunately, months ago. There was never time alone to ever masturbate when you stay in the barracks surrounded by tens of other soldiers on the daily basis. Hell, everyone ate together, showered and dressed together. There wasn't even chance to engage in any kind of relationship with anyone too, definitely not in this career and environment.
Sure, you were close with him but...
Would he really be okay with this?
Why would he suggest it if he wasn't, right?
"I'll need material." you finally broke the silence. Part of you was just testing the waters when you said it, but he laughed as if you had fallen into his bait.
"Pretty sure Darren keeps some magazines, you can borrow from him." he flips through the papers again.
An overwhelming determination drove you. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe you just wanted to see just how far this could go before he would tell you to stop. "Give me your holopad." you sat up and reached out your arm to him for the device which he shot you a look for.
"You know they can trace back whatever we do with it right?"
"We'll just say someone stole it, and found it outside the tent the next morning. I'll be your alibi." you took the holopad anyway despite his warnings and had your back against the canvas wall of the tent. "So, what do you like?" you asked him, scrolling through the site you had opened.
"Me? You're the one who's going to do it." he puts the papers down and looks in your direction.
"Obviously you need this too. Plus, I'm not going to embarrass myself while you just sit there." you said, keeping your voice monotonous, even when you were clearly blushing red as a beet behind the screen. The silence he was giving you built up the tension to 100 and you look to him with a serious face, "Come on, take your mind off of those plans. I know you can't even process what you're even looking at."
If he dodges you any more, you might just have to literally threaten him to join you. "It’s your idea!" you could yell.
He sighs and hung his head low. What you said was true at least. The letters on the papers had began to look alien to him since 30 mins ago if he was honest. But now, the epiphany had finally struck him square on the head. He finally understood what you felt when he suggested this, and he couldn't bring himself to believe that you two were really going to do this together. This was madness...
A minute passed of you just scrolling and pressing 'next' a couple of times. You were finding videos that could cater to his tastes, so he would be more prone to join in. And that got you engrossed with wonder about what type of girls Gabriel used to date years ago. But after a while, you just couldn't exactly pin point what exactly is to his liking since it was a wide variety. You yourself didn't have any specific preference either, you just needed something good to watch.
He finally slumps down on your bunk next to you and craned his head over to peer at the screen of the holopad in your hands, eyeing the rows and rows of still-capped videos all over the page, "How the hell did you open this up so quickly?"
"By the power of the search button." you said.
"More like you memorised the web name." he scoffs.
"Come on, just tell me what you like." you asked again.
He took a deep breath and felt embarrassment flush over him, the first time he ever felt with you. Since he was already here, he couldn't just back out now. Plus he was already half hard just thinking about it.
"Short girls." he only said.
You raised your brow, "Hm, not what I was expecting." you commented. Suddenly you became partially aware of your size. Gabriel is a huge guy, so you were pretty small in comparison to him. But now just feeling his bulky presence next to you was making you feel all sorts of things after learning this information.
"What?" he gushes.
"No, I don't know. Thought you might be more into some kinky shit. Massive tits? Piercings? Bondage?" you laughed. "Damn, I think seeing someone petite get ploughed by a big cock would be good though." you bit your lip at your own suggestion.
Though he was silent, he was definitely shocked upon hearing such words come out from your mouth so casually like that. Out of all the topics you two have talked about, sex was never on that list. The occasional insight about partners and relationships to dating spot ideas, sure. But never sex. So this was strange and somewhat uncomfortable, but he didn't say or do anything to stop you either. This new light he's seeing you in was twisting his gut, and tightening his pants.
You chose your video and leaned back with your knees bent whilst adjusting the volume to keep it as low as you could, yet still be able to hear it.
As the video plays, his eyes only remained on you. Because of his height, it was easy to watch your expression from the corner of his eye as you bit on your finger, getting your attention sucked into what the two actors were doing on the screen you were resting on your lap. This was definitely a new experience he's seeing unravel before his very eyes. His heart couldn't stop pounding.
He watched every time your expression changed when the male actor did something that seemed to be of your liking, like when he grabbed the woman's ass to spread the cheeks apart. Tearing the leggings she was wearing.
"Damn." you laughed under your breath. "Wish a guy would do that to me."
"All the guys you dated before never did?" he asked, somehow managing to sound normal. Did you like it rough? The thought of you, as feisty as you are, getting manhandled for once was... shit, it's turning him on.
"Nah, most just like vanilla stuff, you know?" you answered absentmindedly. "It's no fun when you have to ask them to do it. Holy shit, that's massive."
He looked back at the screen to see the woman going down on the guy, trying to fit his dick in her mouth, but the size difference was too great. If he was watching alone, sure, that scene would've definitely got him raring. But since you're here, he just couldn't stop looking at you and how you'd react to every little thing.
Unlike you, it was his thoughts that was working for him however, imagining how you would sound when you fucked or how well you could ride. What kind of face would you make? Was he imagining you on top of him?
He noticed how your hand began to slowly snake down between your thighs and stayed there. It made him twitch, wondering if you were too embarrassed to go on. But oh boy, he was wrong. You were definitely rubbing slowly to the beat of the video that's playing.
"Damn." he cursed inside his head. He's so painfully hard now. Feeling the confines of his combat pants grow tighter and tighter was choking the life out of him. And this was the result of just watching you? No, the truth is: it took him awhile to stop this habit of his for many years. He liked to imagine you getting fucked across the table similar to what's happening inside the video. He liked it if it was him who was reaming your brains out, not your lame ass ex-boyfriends. Would you moan his name? Would it be too weird? Fucking hell... yeah, he's just going to let it stay in his imagination... But damn, seeing you like this...
Faltering, he starts to palm himself through the front of his pants, desperately needing to relief the ache somehow.
Like hell you would want him... right?
You noticed him quietly choke in a breath. Then you noticed what he was doing with his hand. And instantly you knew that you were so fucking screwed because you were getting even more worked up. Starting to breathe heavier than before, you felt yourself twitch as your core demanded more attention. You were sure you were soaking wet by now, and just rubbing between layers didn't feel quite enough. You needed a more direct touch on your core if you were ever going to orgasm. Fuck it, you're both already in this deep.
"Shit, hold this for a second." you handed him the holopad and his daze broke from watching you. Confused, he looked at you standing up and swallowed his throat dry when suddenly you started stripping your pants down. Now down to your panties, he only caught a brief look at your nice ass before you climbed back on the bunk. Leaning back, legs now spread shamelessly as you continued to focus on the video. "Sorry, it's just been a while." you said.
"Yeah, I get you." he still tried to keep his voice cool. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad. There was no use saying anything now, he's the one who suggested this in the first place.
Your hand slipped beneath your panties and you bit your lip again, "Fuck, that's good." you hummed.
The woman on the screen was now folded over the desk, her ass hanging off the edge as the guy proceeded to choke her neck while fucking her. Seeing that guy's dick ramming in and out of her was clearly doing more to you than him -- what would you do if you knew you were the one making him this hard instead?
Feeling alone, he was getting more and more frustrated about your ignorance on his part of this situation. Not that it was your fault. Maybe he should just be real and finally tell you that he's been crushing on you for years.
No, this is just his dick talking... right?
You just wanted to be friends with him. It's just been that way all this time.
At his wit's end, he directed the frustration to the fact that this was unfair to him. Because you could get off all you liked and still keep yourself covered, but he had to pull his whole dick out if he wants to properly jerk off.
Something needs to change.
Suddenly he takes the holopad away and you gasped, "Hey!" you snapped.
He turns it off and puts it aside before pushing you to lay on your back as he caged himself over you. "That thing's too loud. We're gonna get caught." he said to you, almost whispering. His heart was going to explode. His dick throbbing non-stop because of this stupid decision he made.
"So?" you were frowning.
"So let's just get this over with and go to sleep." he said.
If he couldn't tell you how he felt, then at least he could have a taste of what it feels like to make you cum. Not some video.
You looked at him for a second and thankfully (seriously, thank fucking god) understood the message he was trying to tell you. Although you looked somewhat horrified, or just insanely shy, you started to pull your panties down. He bit his lip, moving in tandem. Unzipping his pants and took himself out.
Fucking hell, you were red and glistening under there. If there's one other thing he wanted to do was to taste you. Because your clit was practically making his mouth water, tongue curious as to how soft you'd feel to lick.
"Wow." he heard you say suddenly.
You swallowed your mouth dry. He was big. Maybe not a freakishly large as the guy in the video but definitely thicker than the average guy. Probably the biggest you've seen in real life. The tip was already beading with pre-cum, and the veins... shit. It looked like it could wreck you.
You watch him coil his hand around the shaft and you felt your walls tighten up. Why were you imagining him penetrating you with that thing? You guys just aren't that insane... right? Doing this mutual masturbation thing was already crossing all types of lines between you two. You didn't need to go all the way. But damn, you'd lie to yourself if you didn't wish he'd just-
When he began pumping, you began rubbing. Soon, both of you were using each other as material, moving in a similar pace with your own hands. Almost as if you were simultaneously simulating sex with each other without even touching.
You probably were too mesmerised by his shape and size that out of your control, suddenly you grabbed his dick by the tip. The little jolt he made had your heart fluttering. Moving his hand out of the way, you grabbed the whole shaft into your palm. God, it was so hot to the touch. "I didn't know you were packing this thing all this time." you said and he was visually gritting his teeth, jaws clamping shut. His eyes were just watching your hands, obviously smaller than his try to wrap around it.
"Like I need to show you what my dick looks like." he choked.
You click your tongue, "I didn't mean it like that but damn, Gabe..." You couldn't help it. It was just there right in front of you. You wanted to get off anyway. This... wouldn't hurt.
He felt you pull at it and sparks shot through his body, he kept his arms over you to support his weight but at this rate he might just collapse on top of you. "Wonder why your girlfriends never stick with you for long..." he heard you say.
"Unfortunately," he breathes, focusing to much on you jerking his shaft slowly in your hand, "They never cared to stick around for the guy behind the dick."
That's too bad. Gabriel was worth keeping so it sort of struck you in disbelief. "What? They can't stand your brooding demeanour and cringy dad jokes outside of sex? It's a miracle I've been around in your life for this long, huh?" you laughed and bit your lip. You had to stop or else he's going to think that you liked him or something. You didn't want him to pull away because you were starting to catch feelings. As dangerous as this situation is for your friendship, you still wanted to avoid ruining it completely.
"If you're just going to hold it, can I have my dick back?" he suddenly asked and you squinted your eyes at him. You quicken the pace of your pumps, tightly tugging it with your grip almost as if you wanted him to suffer. And clearly, he did suffer. His arms were flexing like crazy, the veins on his temples looked like they were about to burst.
Your cheeks could be felt catching into flames. Heart pounding like crazy at his reactions to you. "Fuck..." you whispered, almost to yourself. You needed to keep this casual. Just keep it casual! "It's just so- look at it! That's how deep it can go."
He looks at you resting his length on you now. Lining it just below your navel, measuring from the base to where the tip is like a damn makeshift ruler.
"Or maybe despite having such an impressive size, your dick game is too weak?"
Something stirred in him at the moment you said that.
"What? You wanna find out?" he grits and suddenly your blood ran cold.
You bit your lower lip and ran the underside of his shaft along your soaked slit suggestively, "That'll be weird right?" you breathed. This was turning out of your hands.
Suddenly, he thrusts forward, rubbing along your slit with the length. Because of how wet you were, it glides smoothly across the surface, making you even more aroused. "Like doing this isn't already weird." he groans. Repeating the motion, goosebumps started to raise all over you, because every time he bumped the head against your clit was driving you nuts.
Your breathing had become shaky, feeling your orgasm beginning to peak the longer he rubbed on you. It was worse when he took hold of his dick and pressed it down to gain more friction. He was going fast, you doubted he even realised. You couldn't even give him a warning before you came, moaning out a cry you've been dying to release, clamping your thighs together as you jolted. He cursed under his breath feeling your pussy convulse as you came for a good minute before your thighs finally loosened their grip. When your legs came apart again, the mess you made stuck around his length but his dick was still standing rock hard in between.
You panted and looked at him as he looked at you, both faces flushed red as sweat began to run down.
There was a second of silence between you two as you tried to cope with what's happening. But he only need a split second to shoot downwards and kissed you. You grabbed at his shoulders and he gripped at your waist, taking your thighs apart as he closed himself in again. He pushed his tongue into you and you took the kiss deeper, both moaning and engulfing each other with your arms.
You gasped when you felt the tip prod at your hole, and tightened your arms around him when he finally pushed into you. "Oh fuck!" you cried and he quickly covered your mouth with his hand.
"Quit being so loud damn it!" he harshly whispered, thrusting into you as he did. Oh God, he was really fucking you. Slow and deep, he managed his pace carefully to have you adjust to his size before going rougher. You couldn't do anything but shut your eyes and throw your head back, swallowing your moans.
After a while, when he trusted you enough not to make too much of a sound, he released you and straightened his back to keep ramming you down, holding your thighs apart as he watched himself go in out of you. You covered your forehead with an arm as you moaned quietly.
"Your dick is stupid big...!" you grit your teeth, your eyes clamping shut tighter as you tried to take his increasingly furious beating.
He fucked you so hard, going at pace that just doesn't seem to slow or stop. Slick was pumping out of you in ridiculous amounts, running down your thighs and ass every time he bottomed completely into you.
You were dead wrong, you realised. He was good. Maybe too good and that scared you. You were scared you couldn't look at him the same way, you were scared you might never be with another guy and not think about him, you were scared you might need this again when this is all over and you two resumed just being friends.
Is that all this has been?
You came again, nails digging into his back as you muffled your moans into his shoulder. "Fuck- I'm at my limit." he tells you.
"My implant's still good, just- fuck, just don't stop!" pleading into his ear, you locked your feet around his waist. Even when he was still thrusting, you felt him cum inside -- filling you up to the brim with god knows how long pent up cum he had into you. He breathes slowly, growling into your ear as he kept his shallow thrusts, wanting to milk out everything he had until he grew soft and you two were no longer able to ride out the last of the aftershocks.
After that it was a good minute of you two just catching your breaths. Once he got his composure back, he pushed himself up and pulled out of you. "Fuck." he cursed under his breath, raking his hair with his hand as he saw the mess you two made. You couldn't even get up anymore.
He pulled off his shirt and helped you clean up as best you two could before slumping down next to you on your bunk and covered his own eyes with his arm. Not a minute had passed before you two were off snoring.
...
You woke up in his arms the next morning, face squished against his bicep as you used it as a pillow. You turn away and stretched, waking him up in the process, causing him to groan.
"My arm's dead." he said, half-awake.
"Sorry, you took most of my pillow." you sat up and rubbed your sore neck.
He stared at your back, blinking every few seconds as he began to remember more of what happened last night. You didn't seem to be in a rush to part from him or show any kind of discomfort or changes in the way you were acting.
He sat up with you and grabbed your arm, which surprised you. Turning your head to look at him, suddenly he leans down and pressed a kiss to your lips. Your eyes widen and he quickly parts from you, face flustered.
"Sorry, I- I..." he stammered. "Fuck..." he sighs and held his face down with his hands in embarrassment.
"Gabe?"
He parts his fingers to peek at you with one eye.
"Did something change between us last night?" you asked, face now flushed as red as his.
"I don't know." he sighs and crosses his arms and leans back against the tent's wall. "I just- fuck, I don't know."
A minute of tense silence passed between you two. Palms sweating as you stared at your knees, unsure of what to say. Finally you sighed, "Then, we don't need to worry about it, right? I hate that 'I love you' crap anyway. So just, do whatever the fuck you want with me. I'm down." you punched his shoulder and he looks at you, rubbing the spot where you hit him. "So if you want to kiss, just do it."
"But do you?" he asks in return.
"As long as you're not dating another girl, sure. I'd hate to be the side chick." you shrugged.
"Never." is what he wanted to say but the words never left his mouth. He leans forward and you sucked in a breath, closing your eyes as you felt his lips on yours. It was surprisingly soft to the touch, which you didn't even realise the first time he kissed you last night. As you two made out for a good five minute, your brain had short circuited by the end, making you dazed inside his arms.
"We need to move out in 10." he whispered to you.
"Yeah..." you agreed and cleared your throat as you force snapped yourself awake. "Yeah, we should, uh, get ready." you got up and made your way to your bag but as soon as you took your first step, your legs immediately failed you.
"Fuck!" you gasped. It wasn't that the kiss or his strong hands or how much you were aching made you weak, it was the fact that you were shocked to your core upon standing up -- feeling the product of last night start to seep out from between your thighs.
"Are you okay?" he grabbed your arm to pull you up and you protested.
"No, no, no, no!" you tried to wiggle out from his grip but he was just too strong compared to you. As soon as you were on your legs, drips of cum fell between your shaky feet and his eyes widen.
"Fuck." he cursed.