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It’s weird to think six months ago, his life had been totally, utterly normal.
Just an ordinary teenage boy, maintaining his grades, going out learning about life and its consequences while getting drunk for the first few times, as did people his age. He had even gone and found himself a girlfriend.
A dainty little thing, Dana, with long blond silky hair his hands ached to touch and drag his fingers through. Her long legs and beautiful skin were a sight for sore eyes, his sore eyes. Today he doesn’t know how or where she is. He hopes well. The last months of his junior year really were the best of his life, and it all had come crashing down when his brother was diagnosed with that wretched disease.
Leukemia, they’d said, stage 4, terminal.
The night he was told, he sobbed in his bed like the crybaby his father always reproached him of being. He sobbed and he didn’t stop, not for another two weeks, before he had to go back to school and hope to god his life would get back a semblance of normalcy.
The four months they’d been given with his Danny had really only been two and a half. By thanksgiving, their family had already buried their eldest six feet under and scraped the last bits of hope to find something to be thankful for.
The ranch hadn’t even crossed his mind. But his mother had approached him in the early winter, hoping to get something, some word, out of him.
“We need you Bobby.” She’d murmured in his hair as she sat behind him on the bed. “The horses need feeding and the mares grooming.”
No answer came. Words hadn’t seemed to come through his throat these days.
“Please.” When she realised she wouldn’t get anything worthwhile, she rose up again and left, closing the door behind her.
Her retreating footsteps were like the first snowflakes of winter.
He’d almost found sleep again when someone barged in. His Pa, surely.
“Boy if you don’t get up in the next 5 seconds.” His voice wasn't particularly violent or strong, but Robert had been on the receiving end of these threats enough times to feel goosebumps rise along his entire body.
He swiftly lifted the covers, turning as he sat up and greeted his parents. “Good morning…” The reluctance in his voice, along with the raspiness of it didn’t help his case right now.
“Get up and help your mother.” There was no room for argument and yet he felt it was the right time to push back.
“I can’t.” The sharp inhale from his mother and stink eye his father threw him didn’t help calm his nerves. “You know I can’t. That was Danny's job! Not only am I not strong enough, but I don’t want this life, I don’t know anything about it, not since I entered High school”
“You better learn it again then,” He felt tears prickle in his eyes. “This was your brother’s job but it is yours today, you’d better accept that fact sooner rather than later and start pulling your weight around here if you don’t want to end up on the streets !” It had been so long since Bobby had been subject to his father’s yelling. He was still just as sensitive as he was as a wide-eyed, energetic child.
“Now” At least he wasn’t screaming on top of his lungs and risquing waking his siblings anymore. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to get dressed, come downstairs, make breakfast for Talia and Lilith, get your ass outside, and shovel snow up the driveway until the horses can make it out of their stables safely,” He seemed to pause to think. “I know this is hard for you kid, but you can’t abandon your family in is time of need”
He walked back towards the door and turned around “If you’re not done when I get home–”
“I know.”
An uncomfortable silence settled and came a resolute “Good.”
With that he left the room, closing the door to give his son some privacy while he got dressed for the long day ahead of him.
He decided to make his sisters eggs as he heard his Pa’s truck going off outside– for all their complaining about the lack of lucky charms on the menu, Talia and Lilith ate their meal right up before heading to the bus station for school.
As he loaded the dishwasher with the remnants of this morning’s plates and forks he couldn’t help but feel somewhat jealous primary school was still in session while he had to stay in the cold – not turning on the heat meant less bills on the ranch – empty house.
He tried not to dwell on the fact – at least not right now – lest he wouldn’t even get to work before his father came home.
Oh, how he wished his brother could be here.
January came, and with it his introduction to the navy. The requirements could easily be met, although he’d have to work more regularly on the ranch if he wanted to be strong enough to pass with flying colors.
His grades had definitely slighted since last year but not nearly enough to be detrimental to his education. He’d been selfish in that way – putting his grief on pause every time a test came up.
Maths and physics he would need to work on to get back on top, otherwise, nothing stood between him and running away as soon as he graduated. This was probably just proving his parents once again of his selfishness but he’d needed to get away, he couldn’t – wouldn’t – be Danny 2.0, not only was he not good enough, but he didn’t have the passion to devote himself to agro-ranch life. He would not die on this land.
He worked relentlessly for months, helping around the ranch and mares; dedicating hours to help his sisters in their homework and projects, flying under his father's radar, refusing to be disappointing enough to grant himself a beating - not that he'd been hit in the past year or two, but still, he wouldn't take his chances.
He helped his mother in her chores, alleviating the load on her back he would inevitably drop back onto her once he left without proper goodbyes.
Making sure he was valuable and helpful didn't help the dichotomy he came to terms with as he realised he'd made himself dependable and indispensable to his household and they'd probably hate hime for leaving the way he'd hated his brother last year.
So he didn’t invite his parents to graduation. The pitying looks he kept getting from fellow classmen made him sick to his stomach, but he didn’t tell them he’d lied, giving himself two weeks to disappear in the navy before his parents came looking for him in the very auditorium he hoped to leave behind, along with the rest of this tiny little redneck town he would miss during the next ten years of his life.