Chapter Text
Dear Little One,
At least I think you are in there. After a few weeks of feeling very tired and then the past few days of waking up feeling nausea in the morning, it dawned on me that I could be carrying you inside. Counting back on the calendar on your papa's desk, I realized I am probably 6 weeks out. Like your papa you have a unique way of catching my attention. You see, your ever attentive papa always brings me a special sweet treat when he visits the city on business. He knows that I have quite the sweet tooth and loves to spoil me when he comes home to me. Although very touched at his gesture, this time, the thought of that rich little treat made me think differently. I'm sad to report little one that after smelling that sweet indulgence, I had a very bad afternoon with the chamber pot in our bedroom much to your father's worry. However after a few hours, he deduced that I had probably just tired myself out working in the house preparing for his return and insisted I go to bed for a few days of rest while he put himself personally in charge of my care. Actually little one, after the first couple visits with the chamber pot, I felt normal but your always dedicated papa would not hear it and I had the most devoted, loving care I have ever known. After a few days of rest (it took me that long to convince him I was okay), your sweet papa hovering over me like a mother hen, life came back to normal.
Each morning because your papa has to leave so early to attend to the estate and make rounds with our tenants, he didn't realize that I was turning green whilst attending to his breakfast. Maybe it was my few years spying, but i was able to put on a much different face from what I was feeling long enough to get your papa out the door to begin his day. Then once again I would find myself hanging over the chamber pot for a good part of my morning. By midday I was back to myself and able to work hard to make sure your papa had a delicious meal when he returned home to me by late afternoon. This charade went on because I knew if your papa thought the prior illness was still lingering he would never leave me alone. I could not allow myself to interfere with his hard work as he's worked so hard to rebuild the family estate since our return to Scotland. I must admit little one, you had me befuddled for a few more weeks. I have never been the type who gets very sick so the preoccupation with trying not to show your papa kept me in the dark. Then one day this week, whilst tidying up your papa's library, I happened to look at the calendar on his desk and realized 6 weeks had passed. Your papa is very fastidious about documenting events in his life and often marks or circles dates that are important to him. It was in July that we celebrated our marriage of one year when he surprised me with a trip to Galloway where we spent two glorious weeks traveling, sightseeing and most importantly stargazing. I believe little one, that is where God decided to bless us with your presence. As I write this, I am sure of it as it all adds up. Now I am writing to you happier, albeit sicker than I have ever been. This too shall pass eh?
Tell me little one, shall I name you after a constellation in honor of those beautiful star-filled nights in Galloway? I smile to myself thinking of those two weeks with just your papa and myself. Would he approve of calling you Orion if you are a lad or Carina if you are a bonny lass?
I am so full of love writing this to you my little one. I haven't quite let it sink in that I am with child. All those years before my marriage to your papa when I was married before and yet it was not meant to be. I had not even thought I could bear a child honestly, because It never happened during my years of marriage to Selah. After the end of our marriage and the bitterness of what war makes one do to survive, your papa however stole my hardened heart by forgiving me and allowing me to be loved for me for the first time ever. Your papa brought hope back into my life but most importantly happiness and laughter. Oh little one I have so much to share with you over the next 7 1/2 months until you make your debut. I cannot wait to share this recent event with your papa. I'm more anxious now thinking about his face when I tell him than I think I've ever been. I'll write more I promise little one once it is known. Right now I have to get ready for his return. He has been away overnight and I have missed him so. I cannot wait to welcome him back with our special secret. What shall I prepare for the new father to be to eat eh? Minced pie doesn't sound appealing to my queasy stomach but your papa does love it so. We will see how it turns out preparing it. Let us pray my stomach can deal with the preparation at least so I will not look a fright when your papa returns this evening. I'll share more later, my little one. I love you. Your Loving Mum.