Work Text:
“I could marry Sergei,” Liliya said, seemingly to Jane, without looking up from her phone. Jane immediately looked up from hers and felt fire course from her stomach to the tips of her ears. They were laying on opposite sides of Jane’s couch facing each other, their legs tangled together.
It had been a wonderful evening; they cooked a pasta dish together for dinner, spending ample time running their hands over one another and kissing as they did so. Liliya was playing gentle Russian music while they ate and it continued playing while they cleaned up. Like cooking, cleaning up had involved them taking turns shoving the other against the counter and kissing them breathlessly. When one song Liliya particularly liked came on, she grabbed Jane’s waist and pulled her close.
“My father made me learn how to dance when I was a teenager,” Liliya said, brushing a stray strand of Jane’s hair behind her ear, “thought it would make me more like a lady.”
Without saying anything else, she moved one of her hands to grab Jane’s and pull her close. Liliya’s firm grasp on her waist was both comforting and arousing.
“Put your other hand on my shoulder,” Liliya instructed, and Jane quickly did as told.
Liliya spent the next 3 minutes guiding Jane through a choppy slow dance with their bodies and cheeks pressed against each other. Even if it was clunky, it was the best dance Liliya had ever had. When they looked at each other after the song ended, Jane’s eyes were wide open and oozing with affection. She was so gone for Liliya.
“Go lay down on the couch. I will finish cleaning,” Liliya said. Before Jane could respond, Liliya swept her up and brought her there herself.
“He is American. Would be easy citizenship. He would do it,” she continued. “His mother was Soviet figure skater, Svetlana Vertrova.”
“Yeah, you’ve told me.” Jane’s mouth tasted sour. She knew she had let herself be too hopeful. Obviously, this was never going to work. It would be much easier for Liliya to marry a man than to be in lesbian love with the woman who was famously known to be her rival. Jane had only been kidding herself, thinking Liliya would willingly choose this complicated situation when she could easily have an out.
“He would help me,” Liliya hummed out.
Jane swallowed the lump in her throat, not wanting to cry about Liliya, especially not in front of her. She had meant to tell Liliya the truth shortly after they arrived to her cottage. To tell her she wanted to be with her for real, wanted to come out as a lesbian, even if they still needed to hide their relationship. But everything felt so nice between them, and Jane didn’t want to fuck it up. Now she wished she had had the courage to do so, so as to banish the existence of this conversation. Was she too late now? God, she really fucking hoped not.
“But,” she paused after that sole word, barely able to get it out, “is he, I don’t know, someone you’d want to marry?”
“We are friends. We would be fine,” she said the last part while finally looking, not up from, but around her phone at Jane. “And it would be for the passport.”
“Okay, but-”
“But what?” Liliya interrupted.
“But you like men, right?”
“Mhm, yes.”
“You could find someone you’d want to marry for real and still get the passport.” She had to take a deep breath through her nose after saying this, hoping that Liliya had not noticed.
Finally, Liliya locked her phone and put it on her chest. She leaned forward, and began, “Maybe, but-”
“But what?” Now it was Jane interrupting her, tears forming visibly in both eyes.
“I have this problem,” Liliya said apathetically.
“What’s the problem?” Jane asked.
“I like men, yes?”
“Yeah, I know.” No shit, Rozanova, she thinks.
“And everywhere I go, rich, handsome men throw themselves at me, desperate.”
“Sounds rough.”
“Yes, it is. Listen,” she paused, “and these men, they’re so sexy and fun. But I am always thinking about this slow fucking hockey player with beautiful freckles. And a weak backhand.” The heat from Jane’s face immediately dropped to her stomach and brought a cautiously optimistic warmth to the rest of her body.
“A weak backhand?” No, it wasn’t possible – Liliya was not saying this to her.
“Yes, very weak,” the shared a smile. “And she is so boring and she drives this terrible car-”
“It’s a normal car!” Jane shouted back at her.
“I am always wishing that these men were her. It’s a terrible problem, huh?” Liliya’s voice was sweeter and gentler than it was at the start of this conversation.
“Do you want that problem to go away?” Jane really fucking hoped she didn’t, but she would understand. Liliya’s life would be easier without Jane – she knew that. But, she was desperate for Liliya to want her back, want her back in that way.
“Mmm-mmm. I don’t ever want that problem to ever go away.” That made the knots unfurl in Jane almost completely.
“Don’t marry Sergei. Just don’t. I know it wouldn’t be for love or whatever. Just don’t. We’ll figure something out, okay?” Marry me. I’ll come out. Liliya, I want to come out. I love you. I’ll marry you. I want to. But she couldn’t say it. It would be crazy, Liliya definitely did not want to marry her – this part of their relationship was in its infancy.
“Okay.”
Jane was still awake despite it being nearly 2 AM. After their conversation, Liliya laid flat on Jane’s body and rested her head on chest. She closed her eyes and let the sound of Jane’s heart beating lull her to sleep while Jane ran her fingers through her hair. Jane’s head was temporarily floating from what Liliya had said, but it was quickly replaced with the formulation of her plan for the two of them.
Around midnight, she scooped Liliya up and carried her the short distance to the bedroom. Liliya stirred only a little when Jane placed her down. She was wearing gym shorts and one of Jane’s sweatshirts and Jane knew she preferred to sleep in just her underwear and maybe a shirt. She left the sweatshirt on, not wanting to jostle Liliya too much, but did take off her shorts so she wouldn’t get too warm in the middle of the night.
She looked over at Liliya now, laying on her back with her head tipped away from Jane, no doubt drooling all over the pillow on that side. Her face was so peaceful, mouth slightly agape and no lines around any of her features. She was ethereal, and Jane couldn’t wait any more.
“Lil, wake up” Jane said, shaking Liliya’s shoulder.
“Hm? What time is it what is happening?” Liliya asked, attempting to catch her bearings.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Could not have told me in morning? Hollander, I am not sure I am speaking English now.”
“I’m a lesbian,” Jane said, matter-of-factly.
“Jane, we talked about this in Florida. Why do you wake me up now to say it again?”
“I want to come out.”
Liliya rubbed her face with both hands and inhaled deeply. She rolled over to Jane and propped herself up slightly on her muscular arm.
“I’m tired of pretending. I watch the women around us who are out and they’re so much lighter than I am. And what, I can’t be gay because then I’m just another lesbian in women’s sports? Not this groundbreaking, ceiling-shattering girl next door turned female hockey player? I’m too important to the appeal of this league? Too important in trying to prove women’s sports are real sports, too? I can’t, I can’t do it anymore. Not… not with you.”
“Okay, Hollander, this is good for you. I still do not understand why this could not wait until morning.”
“I need you to know,”
“Know what, Jane?” Liliya knew what she was saying – what she was asking – but she needed to hear it for herself. Jane’s words were caught in her throat; she let out a strangled breath instead of an answer.
“I can’t come out with a Russian passport-” Liliya began.
“Marry me,” Jane cut in, “you said earlier you would rather play on a Canadian team. So move here, play for Ottawa. Marry me and we can be together for real. It’ll at least give you citizenship, worst case. Sign with Ottawa when your contract is up in Boston. They’re in need of a star center and they’re nowhere near their cap; they’d be stupid not to take you. We’d only be 2 hours apart, all season long. We get married once you’re here; it’ll be easier to get the marriage visa if you’re living here. I know there’s still so much we need to learn about each other, and I know it’s kind of backwards that we would get married, or I guess engaged, to be together but- “
“Breathe, Hollander.” It was Liliya’s turn to cut Jane off. “Do you mean it? You would do that?” She asked sheepishly.
“Absolutely.” Jane answered quickly and firmly.
“And is what you want? To be together?” Her voice was soft, not coated with charm or humor as it so often was.
“So much. So much that it scares me.”
The world slowed above her and her ears were ringing. Liliya rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, which quickly became blurry as she felt tears flooding both eyes.
“Lil,” Jane said, leaning down to stroke her face and try to kiss her. But she was met by Liliya moving her onto her back, strong body on top of her as she kissed down Jane’s neck, whispering the same Russian words over and over. Finally, she pulled back.
“I love you.”
It was said through tears, hoarse and coated with the years she had been waiting to say it. Jane couldn’t believe she had heard it. In fact, she was in the early stages of convincing herself that could not have possibly been what Liliya Rozanova said to her. Her mouth dropped open and she released a small breath. Liliya felt panic flood her chest, before:
“I love you too.”
Jane reached up and kissed Liliya hard, Liliya kissing her back in equal strength. The kiss was wet because Liliya was crying – really truly crying now. Far more than the measly cry she did back in Tampa. Jane released her face and ran her hands through Liliya’s curls, guiding her head to lay on her chest.
“Does it fucking kill you too?” Jane asked, voice cracking.
Liliya paused for a beat but then responded, “not anymore.”
They stayed like that for several minutes – holding, crying, mumbling I love you countless times in English, Russian, and French. Eventually, Jane moved her hands lower until she could no longer reach.
Then, she mumbled, “come up here,” and who was Liliya to disappoint her?
She moved gracefully until her face was tucked neatly into Jane’s neck, where she was pressing weightless open-mouth kisses through needy breaths. Her legs were on either side of Jane’s hips, and she was grinding her pussy down on Jane’s own while Jane’s hands grabbed either side of her ass. With little reshuffling, Jane moved them until they were propped up on the headboard, Jane’s broad, muscular shoulders pressed against the wood. The way Jane was holding them up and together made Liliya feel completely enveloped in Jane despite being on top of her.
“Fuck, love you so much,” Jane said with one arm wrapped around Liliya’s head so she could continue to run her fingers through her shaggy curls. Every so often, she would move her hand and splay her fingers to grasp the side of Liliya’s jaw and gently press her face into Jane’s own, letting her know she was being completely taken care of. It was a move Jane had picked up from her. Her other hand rocked back and forth in the crevice where Liliya’s thigh became her hip; she took turns pressing her thumb forward and pressing her fingers into the supple mound in the back. Liliya was whimpering into Jane’s neck, her tears from earlier barely over.
“You’re so beautiful,” Jane began to move the hand that lingered on her ass cheek down as she spoke, “so happy I met you,” she continued, rounding the path of her hand to tease the top of Liliya’s inner thigh from behind.
“’m so happy I love you,” she was teasing her panty line now, “so fucking happy you love me back.”
Liliya let out a moan, filled more with love than lust, followed by repeated whispers of I love you pressed into Jane’s neck. Jane’s hand traveled once again, and she circled her middle and ring finger on top of Liliya’s slick opening. She moved her fingers up to mold her clit, to take in every centimeter of her cunt before even thinking of diving a finger in. She took time dragging her fingers between her inner and outer lips, then circling her clit, then rubbing her clit, then exploring her lips again before she even thought about dipping her fingers inside. Liliya was so wet; she was always so wet when she was with Jane.
Jane pushed only her middle finger in first, all the way down, until the hilt of Liliya’s pussy was on her hand. Her pussy was hot and tight, fully constricting Jane’s finger. She thought back to the first time she had fingered Liliya, how turned on she had been by the sensation of her pussy on her fingers. Despite having touched her own pussy before then, she hadn’t realized how different it would feel touching someone else’s pussy,
She didn’t immediately start to pump in and out; instead, she pressed up with the pad of her finger, checking to make sure Liliya’s g-spot was reachable in this position. The moan that left her lips was confirmation it was. She continued for a few seconds, just pressing her finger up, stroking her spot to warm her up. Then, Liliya started to move her hips. Jane loved her so much.
“I’ll give you whatever you want. Do you want me to do more? Finger you open, beautiful?” Jane asked.
“God, yes, Jane,” Liliya breathed.
Jane didn’t respond with words, rather, she moved her finger in and out of Liliya’s pussy a few times before adding her ring finger. She loved how tight Liliya’s pussy was – it was strong, just like the rest of her. She was hot inside and out and oh so wet. After a few slow thrusts of her fingers, she removed them from her pussy and crawled her slick fingers up to Liliya’s asshole, circling her tight, pink hole with her middle finger a few times, feeling the muscle relax slightly each time she went around.
She took her hand away to grab at the flesh of Liliya’s ass cheek before sliding her hand back to her pussy. She put the same too fingers back into Liliya’s pussy. Liliya had stopped crying once Jane had started touching her pussy a few minutes ago, but the whimpers she was making now, every time Jane angled her fingers, let her know that she was right on Liliya’s g-spot. She was grinding her hips on Jane’s fingers in an attempt to get more friction on her cunt. Jane could feel Liliya’s tits pressed against her. The soft, mobile flesh, with hard, pierced nipples made Jane’s pussy spasm. She had a beautiful woman – the most beautiful woman, pressed tight on top of her, rubbing her body on Jane’s own, making delicious sounds, becoming completely fucked out all by Jane’s doing. It made her beyond wet; allowed her, sometimes, to cum untouched just from pleasuring the woman she loved.
“Hang on, c’mere,” Jane pulled her fingers out of Liliya and tapped her thigh, instructing her to lift her leg. Jane threaded her arm so it was between her and Liliya, and moved her hand back to her pussy.
“Now I can rub your swollen clit while I finger you, baby,” Jane purred in Liliya’s ear. The way they were propped up on the headboard together, Jane could comfortably pull Liliya impossibly close to her with her face buried in Jane’s black hair.
Jane repositioned her hand so that her thumb was rubbing Liliya’s clit as she continued to pump her fingers in and out of Liliya, enjoying how soaked they were getting. It was not precise by any means, it wasn’t like when Jane would spend time eye level with Liliya’s pussy or when she would reach down to rub her clit while they laid next to each other in bed. But the messy run of Jane’s thumb over Liliya’s soaked clit and lips had her moaning open-mouthed into Jane’s hair.
“Feels so good, Jane,” Liliya whimpered in between moans.
“I know, Liliya,” Jane began whispering reassurance to the naked woman on top of her, “love you so much, Liliya.”
Liliya was reduced to nothing but needy, whining breaths. It was rare for her to act like this, but it was becoming less rare the more time she spent with Jane. Jane loved being the only one who got to see this side of her. To the world, Liliya was Rozanova: a cocky, Russian, man-eating bitch who was really good at hockey. But to Jane, she was Liliya. She allowed herself to be just Liliya. Which included falling apart on top of the woman who loved her. She was completely naked in body and mind; instead, only doing what came naturally to her. She was moaning, whimpering, mumbling in Russian and English how much she loved Jane, how she was everything to her.
“Cum for me, baby. I know your close, I can feeling your pussy squeezing my fingers,” Jane said, face buried just below Liliya’s ear. Liliya let out a choked moan and Jane felt her cunt pulse harder.
“That’s it, Liliya. Let your pretty pussy leak cum all over my fingers.”
That was all it took for Liliya’s pussy to spasm uncontrollably while white heat flooded her pelvis. Her head felt fuzzy, her vision temporarily fading, heartbeat pumping in her ears. She came with a sob, brain unable to comprehend the pleasure coursing from her pussy.
She fell on top of Jane, lifeless. She vaguely felt Jane grab a towel from the bedside table and wipe her hand and Liliya’s pussy. Liliya felt her body moving as Jane lifted them up so they could properly lay down without the headboard behind them. She rotated them slightly so Liliya was laying half on her and half on the bed. It would be a little comfier for them to sleep this way than directly on top of each other.
“Let’s go back to sleep you – I’m the one that woke you up, I’ll clean the sheets in the morning.”