Work Text:
This was not something Simon was supposed to see, that much he was certain of.
It wasn't like he was trying to spy or stalk Benny and Gorrister, nothing of the sorts. But since he was left behind with only the over curious doctor Nimdok and nonstop glaring Ted, he wasn't feeling exactly comfortable in their presence.
He just wanted to be in the company of those he grew close to. He found Ellen first, she even smiled at him, even though her eyes didn't fully shine with as much happiness as her expression tried to portray. She pointed him in this direction, told him that he would find 'his man' there, his lips twitched at the remark. She acted like she knew something he didn't.
Maybe she did.
Maybe she knew what he would find there.
That he would find Benny and Gorrister, the two men that he had learned to trust, lying on each other with their mouths open, flush against one another in a passionate kiss.
Benny's hands gripped Gorrister's shoulder and neck, holding him close. He could hear small, urgent whimpers coming from the throat of the smaller man. Gorrister's eyes were closed, but his frown was relaxed, it made him look younger, he looked good.
Simon couldn't look at them any longer, he felt jealousy boil inside the deep of his belly, much hotter than the burning blood that got in his lungs during his dive. He turned around, stumping away as inconspicuously as he could manage, his face contorted into a snarl.
He wasn't angry at them, he knew he wasn't, in fact, he was quite happy for them. He should have expected it too, with all of the remarks Gorrister was making and with how comfortable Benny always was around the older man.
He was angry at himself. Maybe. Yes. No. He didn't know. He didn't know what he was feeling. Feelings were confusing.
He sat down on a grass patch with his head in his hands, curse him for always falling for something he will never get. For wishing upon something he was never deserving of. For his foolish heart and naive soul, trapped in endless longing.
"Jesus, that's pathetic. Even for you, convict." A voice said behind him, with a narcissistic tone to it. He immediately knew it was Ted, even before turning to look, but he didn't know how he learned about the nickname.
The brown haired man's head shot up and he glared at the intruder. "Don't call me that." He growled angrily before swallowing. "The fuck do you want?"
Ted shrugged, leaning against a tree not far away from him. "Just checking on you. You know, like a good leader does." - good leader, my ass. - "I knew that you were pathetic but boy, this is too much." The older man laughed.
"Fuck off..."
"No, really! Not only you are one of those weird fucks who rock a boner from seeing a cock, you are sporting one for the Beasty boy! And you get pissy from him getting what he needs from the Blondie? Haven't you ever heard of the golden locks and the bears? It's like a magnetic connection." He mocked him, moving his hips in sensible motions.
"Seriously. Fuck. Off."
"I mean, we all knew that Benny is a whore for Gorrister; Gorrister is a henpecked husband, probably would do anything as long as it would get his dick sucked. But you? If these two are in hell, you're somehow about to limbo dance with the devil, dude!"
Simon stood up, clutching his fist closed, he walked into the taller man's personal space. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"
"Are you threatening me, boy?" Ted asked back with a smirk, leaning closer to whisper. "Careful there, walking a thin line. I am still a leader here, and when the two idiots realize how useless and unwanted, unneeded, you are here, I'll enjoy snapping your kneecaps and leaving you behind to rot alive, in pain."
"Ted, leave him alone. What the hell is going on here?" Another voice joined them, jerking their attention away from the steaming about-to-be a fight.
Ted smirked at him, his eyes unamused and betraying the true feeling of annoyment that he felt at being interrupted. "Gorrister. Talk about the wolf and he shall appear, am I right? Gotta say, for a trucker you are quite a wild beast when you want to, rawr."
Gorrister's cheeks blushed and his brows furrowed more than they usually were, glare turning deadly. He had deducted what the two probably conversed about before he had broken it up. "Well, Ted," he spat his name like a slur. "I don't think that my sex life is any of your business. Unless you're looking forward to being a part of it, in which case, no offense, I am not interested."
"Oh, no worries, I wouldn't touch a fag with a ten meter pole. Disgusting freak of nature, all of you." Ted huffed with disgust showing on his face, as if he could taste some decay coming off of the words.
Gorrister's eyebrows raised impossibly high and he motioned for Simon to step away, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. "I recommend you think on your words before speaking them out loud, mate, otherwise this is going to turn ugly."
"Oh, is it? Is it going to turn ugly?" Ted asked, opening his arms wide. "Go on then, big boy, flex your nonexistent muscles just to show us all that you're nothing but a punny guy."
"I will crush your skull." Gorrister warned him, and despite all of them knowing that Gorrister had never killed anyone in his life, it still sent shivers down Simon's back.
"Show yourself." The smaller man hummed and showed the older man roughly, making him stumble back. Gorrister used that fallback to charge his blow and punched him square in the face, a loud crack of jaw clear.
The smaller man didn't hesitate to reciprocate, grasping and tearing at the blond's hair.
The two fought dirty, nails and teeth. Gorrister at least tried to keep the form of punching with his fist or kicking, but Ted simply scratched and pulled on whatever he could reach.
Simon was frozen to the spot, torn between wanting to run away and hide, get someone to do something, or doing something himself. To his relief, Gorrister seemed to gain the upper hand nonetheless, overpowering the smaller man to the floor and holding him down by his neck, choking him.
That was, until a deeper thunder-like roar broke the fight. This wasn't someone from the camp though, this was AM. Simon felt himself starting to shake, even if it happened subconsciously. He looked around, even though he knew it was futile, AM didn't have a corporate form, after all.
As soon as his presence was announced, Gorrister let go of Ted's neck, clutching at his own head in unbearable pain, screaming. Blood trickled from his ears and nose.
Simon finally allowed himself to move, rushing to steady the trucker by his shoulders with worry. "Gorrister! What's happening?! Are you okay?!"
Ted took a stuttering breath in and pushed himself up, spitting out something about 'damn bastard deserves it' and left them alone.
Gorrister choked on the blood, screaming and begging for it to stop. It took minutes before he screamed his voice raw and he quieted down, just like the loud ringing in his head. He collapsed into Simon's arms, who slowly helped set him down on the grass with his back supported by the dark, sturdy tree.
"Fucking hell..." His voice cracked lowly, when he came back to himself enough to realize what happened. He looked at Simon who was sitting next to him criss cross, and hands in his lap, pitiful as a kicked puppy. "Stop moping, pretty boy, ain't never helped anyone, did it?"
Simon blushed and looked away.
There was a small moment of retrieve, of silence.
"...You know that me kissing him doesn't change anything, right?" The blond asked, his voice rough. Simon's blush deepened. "So you love him, no surprise. He's Benny. That boy somehow has that weird sort of power that makes you want to smile and keep the world bright for him. Fuck, we all here are fucked but Benny somehow managed to keep that small piece of naivity that all humans are good deep down, that tiny shinning light. It drives me crazy sometimes."
"Yeah, he's a good man... Our Benny." Simon answered, his voice sounding as dry as Gorrister's felt.
Gorrister surprised the brunet with his next words. "So are you."
Before he had time to articulate any type of an answer, the trucker grabbed Simon's face in his hands tightly and pulled him down into a kiss. "You are, Simon. You're a good man." He whispered between the kisses. "Benny wouldn't get you out if he didn't think so."
Causing Simon to gasp, he maneuvered the shorter man into a sitting position next to him with his legs spread wide open. He hummed, looking closely at his face to see any indication of discomfort, pulling his pants open and down. Soon, he held Simon's cock in his hands, stroking it gently, yet firmly.
"That's how Benny does it. He sees the best in people. Heart too big for his own good. However, he was also never wrong." The older man murmered. He made sure to check on Simon's reaction to everything he did, knowing that the other would tell him to stop if he didn't feel comfortable in the situation.
"He believes you're a good man, Simon. Believes you deserve something better than what was meant for you. He believes in me too. Sometimes I think he's gone, that he's stuck in his little imaginative world where he sees me as someone I'm not. The things I had done, all of us had done, they are unforgivable. I'm a monster, and yet, when he looks at me, it's like I am the one who lights up the stars every day, I'm the one who looks down on him when he is afraid. When he was still able to speed, he had called me his guardian angel, you know? There's a sign he uses nowdays, the rest of the camp believes he's just copying my shrug, but it is actually a sign for 'angel'."
"You're a good man too, Gorrister." Simon gasped, closing his eyes and rutting his hips into his hand.
"No." The other replied easily, definitively. "But I made my peace with it. I've done many wrongs, I've hurt many people, I'm the reason I am here. But I am paying for it, that's what purgatory is for, after all, no? It wasn't God that made me hit my wife, it wasn't the devil or my parents, or whoever else you want to blame, any higher power. It was me. I made a choice. A wrong one. My mistakes are my own, choices I made. I realized that a long time ago, I cannot fix that. I can try to be better, but I cannot erase everything I have already done."
Simon cracked his eyes open, truly looking at the blond man. He looked tired, but his eyes were kind, true. He reached out and brushed his fingertips on his cheek before resting on his shoulder. "You're giving yourself too little credit. I've seen what you're doing for Benny. I have seen how you act with Elen. Hell, you just fought Ted for me. You risked your safety for me." He choked off, biting back a moan when Gorrister's hand tightened around his cock head.
"If Benny calls you an angel, it's not because he's naive. But because you're doing something right. You're... I appreciate you, Gorrister." He continued, not letting the pressure of pleasure cut him off. "I just... I wish I could-"
"Benny loves you, Simon." Gorrister repeated his previous statement, feeling the effects it had on the manhood in his hand. "Listen, me and Benny had known each other for over 100 years, and I already said that we're all only humans, we all have our urges. It doesn't change either of those things, you know? If Benny sees something in you..."
"I could learn to see something in you too." Simon finished, understanding where the other was going.
"Yeah." Gorrister breathed out and leaned down to kiss Simon's neck. "If you let me."
Simon tilted his head to the side, giving him an invitation, answering without saying the word. "Gorrister..."
"There aren't others left, Simon, this is all we have. Benny is all I have. I don't want to lose him." He explained into the soft skin. Simon hummed back, closing his eyes.
"I don't know what I will do without him." He whispered back, his voice broken. He felt himself getting closer to the climax, moving his hips gently.
"He's going to choose you." Gorrister answered, the sentence so sure that it surprised the brunet. His surprise was cut short with a gasp as his belly muscles clutched, white spurts of cum covering Gorrister's hand.
He took a moment to collect his rushed breathing, watching the blond man clean his hand.
"...Would you share?" He asked softly, fearing the answer.
"Would you?"
"I can't lose him."
"Hm."
"If we shared him, would you be mine too? Would you let me care for you just like you care for me and Benny?" Simon asked, tilting his head to the side.
"Simon, I am..." He shut his mouth and pulled away, licking his lips.
"You deserve to be happy too, Gorrister." He said, leaning down, his lips inches from the other's but not quite touching.
"This isn't love, Simon." He warned him.
"I know. But it's safety. It's comfort."
"...Would you be okay with that? With there being nothing more than this? I can't offer you more." Gorrister asked, serious and his eyes showed worry, fear of being left behind. It clutched at Simon's heart in a tight grip.
"I am happy with anything you're comfortable with giving, in any form."
"...Maybe I could learn to love you." Gorrister said, his voice pleading; to whom, that was unsure.
"Maybe. But that isn't a necessity. I'll be glad to have you and Benny by my side either way."
Gorrister looked him deep in his eyes and leaned forward, crossing the small distance that separated him from Simon's lips.
"Thank you. For giving this - us - a chance."
Simon smiled a sad smile back at him. What a broken pair they were. "You're a good man, Gorrister."
**********
"Will you tell him?"
"Hm?"
"Benny? Will you tell him that you love him?"
"I'm scared."
"That's okay. Fear is healthy."
"I want to tell him."
"I'll stand by your side."
"You're a good man."