Work Text:
The clock keeps on ticking, it become the only source of sound in the quiet room. The shortest needle point to number two and the mid length needle almost strikes twelve.
A bluelight emits in the dark room, giving light to a face who's still awake despite how late it is now. Your body is wrapped under the blanket with phone in hand as you're still on your world in the screen.
Fingers glides around the screen, scrolling through the social media without any other thought or purpose. Pure doomscrolling of boredom. Your eyes blinks, a bit heavy since you feel sleepy but somehow just can't fall asleep.
It has been happening this past few weeks. Your schedule has turned to be early morning and late night. That you can't rest so comfortably and get enough sleep. In conclusion, you become nocturnal that doesn't sleep at day.
You don't even mean to mess up your schedule. Because before you can just sleep anytime and fall into deep slumber. But as the time goes on, you slowly learn the world of night. Where everything is so quiet and you're all alone without any distraction.
People exhaust you during the day, you can't find anytime to slip past your world where you needs to be alone. So you started using the time where you should've rested. Using it as a runaway of the things you're having in mind. Doing it night to night, it becomes weeks now that you can't just fall asleep comfortably.
If you put your phone down and try to close your eyes, you just can't. Somehow there's a strange feeling like you can't just sleep yet. Then you reach your phone again and looking for something to fill the empty things in your chest and mind.
The cycle keeps on repeating that you started to sleep at early morning. But since you have schedule to follow, you need to wake up at least early noon.
Of course your energy are less as you feel constantly tired for not getting enough rest. There's times where you just fall asleep on the couch while you're watching during the day.
Such bad habits like this, you know very well that this isn't right. Still, you just can't find comfort whenever you tried to sleep. Your body keeps you on guard too much you can't let yourself relax and rest.
You try to hide it from anyone else. Because it just ridiculous for some people. They repeat the same thing, "You can just sleep you know." While actually, if that's the case you won't feel bothered this much.
Even if you try your best to hide it, Caleb notices. You usually have that cheerful tone whenever you're facetiming with him. Yet lately although you already tried to make yourself sounds cheerful, he can hear the slight off tone from it.
"𝘗𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵? 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥." That's what he said last week. You just laughs and brush it off, talking another topic of how you try to make braised chicken of his and it can't taste the same from the one he made.
You don't want to make Caleb worry. He is on his finals weeks—so just how can you make him having more thoughts especially about you?
The effects of doomscrolling starting to take effects, you feel exhausted as nothing really interest you. Yet you can't even fall asleep. You sighed as you move to lie on your back. Your Jolly Apple—green apple plushie that Caleb got you from claw machine— on your right falls because of the movement on bed.
Looking forward, you gaze falls to your ceiling. Your phone in both hands as they're draped on your chest. Involuntarily, a thing you've been wanting slipped out.
"I miss Cae."
It's a wish, murmured as the thought just slipped past you. It's been a long time since you met him anyway. He only come home once every semester because of his academy.
'𝘕𝘰 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘊𝘢𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬. 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵.' You thought to yourself as you take your phone again.
Power butten pressed, and you opening anything that can distract you from your thoughts. The times keeps on moving, it becomes an hour since you open your phone again. And faintly, you hear some door clicking downstairs.
You brush it off, thinking it's just an imagination or you just mistaken some sounds. Because such things happened often, especially since you're sleep deprived. But then the sounds of footsteps from the very faint sound starting to be more clear.
Turning off your phone, you try to focus on the sound downstairs. Are you really hearing it correctly or is it just some imagination again? Nevertheless the sound or footsteps doesn't fade, it becomes more obvious as it walked upstairs. The sound of scraping on the floor reach your ear.
You know it so well since you always memorize every little thing that can show the hint of him. You don't know if you want to go out and greet him or you should just stay in bed.
Thinking about the timing, you choose the latter. You don't want him to lecture you on the first thing when he comes back home—anyway why is he home already in the first place?
The sound of footsteps getting closer to your room. And when it do reaches the door of your bedroom, it stops. You take a look at the door, questioing whether he will open the door and come in or not.
You have changed your position just in case, making your body is in the position of sleeping. You already hide your phone under the pillow. Can't let him caught you not asleep in such really late timing, even could be said almost early morning. Waiting now.
And there it is, the sound of the door opened. You shuts your eyes. Slowly parting your lips to be sure you look like you're in deep sleep.
His footsteps gradually becomes closer and closer to you. It has that rhythmic very much which described 𝘩𝘪𝘮. You waits. Body isn't moving even an inch, like a statue. This got you flashbacks, back then too you refused to sleep so you acted like you're already asleep.
Footsteps finally stopped as he reach just in front of the bed. Gently he sit on the edge of the bed—effecting the bed shifts and creaks from his weight.
"I see that you're sleeping already. As like you should." Caleb's voice gentle as he gaze on your fake sleeping form.
His hand reaches up to your face. He brushes your hair that's covering your face, slipping it past your ear to see your face better.
"Such a shame. I already brings everything you asked for pips. Like the apple clips you wanted, even the sunny apple I borrow as lucky charm." He's testing the water.
Then he noticed a twitch, from your nose. And it immediately clicks in his mind. You keep playing this game as a kid too, how can he not learn all your acts already?
Caleb holds back his smile as he's thinking of what thing that can truly lure you to be awake. His hand brushes gently to your hair.
"I was just about to show you the photo my friend took when I'm asleep." Another twich on the eyebrow.
You hold yourself back, you know he's just baiting you to be awake. You can't be awake just yet. Although it is really tempting for you.
"Right, there's a pic of me after work out too. It's blurry since i'm in the changing room- wait you're drooling pips? Do you want to see me off shirt so much?"
No you're not falling for this trick either. There's no way you will get baited by such lures again and again. You gulp nervously, which obviously get noticed by Caleb. Then there's a 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬.
"Now why don't you quit this act and wake up before I use this to blackmail you?" Finally he said since he clearly already know your schemes, giving a poke you your cheek.
You groan as you open your eyes awake. Pouting while you whine, "Calebb! That's not fair!"
He laughs, it rumbles something in his chest. He missed this, your pout and whines against everything he do when he's being playful to you. His hand reached to pinch your cheek lightly, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"If you wanted to pretend to be asleep, you should have acted better. Besides I already know all of your movements to determine whether you're really asleep or just acting."
You take his wrist from the hand that pinch your cheek. Frowning. "Stop pinching me! I'm not a child anymore. And you're just taking too much damn details." You complained.
The sound of your complain, invites a grin on his oh-so-fine looking face. "I just can't help it if you're being so cute little goober~"
His eyes crinkling with warmth. He's still wearing his DAA jackets. His hair looks a bit messy. That curled upwards lips of him which makes you so damn irritated because of how charming he is. "Hey pips, don't you miss me?" He asks as he open his arms, ready if anycase you want to be on his embrace.
You look up to Caleb. Blinking your eyes to him. "No I don't. Dun wanna see your face."
Then you turned to give him cold shoulder. Not that you really mean it, because really, you missed his presence so much you almost intended to go to Skyhaven to take him home.
Caleb gasps dramatically, putting his hand on his chest as if he feel so wronged. It's just a playful banter of you two, and it has happened a lot of times.
"Pips! How can you say that to me? I'm so sad now because I've been looking forward to see you."
But you still refused to look at him. Not buying his words yet since you keep your pride so high you might reach the star in the galaxy.
Unexpectedly the bed shifted as the weight of him disappeared. You can't resist taking a glance to take a peek. Why is he standing now? Because of course you'll be more sulky if he ever leave you alone and left you hanging like this.
Unlike your thoughts, suddenly he jumped on top of you—making the bed creaks loudly of the sudden additional weight. Caleb trapped you on the bed, keeping you pinned as his body pressed to yours.
You gasped. "Caleb! You're heavyyy get up!"
"Not until you say you missed me pips." Caleb grins as he doesn't move an inch on top of you, definitely stubborn.
Groaned, you try to push him by his shoulder—not hard but just as a show of resist since you can't let him see you enjoying this—and throwing some light punches.
"Get off mee!" You're still in your defiance to not say what he really wants.
"Say please." He clearly is entertained in this position. Having his face close to you, body pressed even though there's a blanket barrier between you both, and you throwing fits although clearly you're liking it.
You groan a no and finally while laughing, he moved to lay on his side beside you. His right arm draped to your body, to keep you from running away from his embrace.
You look up to met his face. Glaring. You definitely will write this in the grudge ledger book later. Then you snort and hide your face to his chest, inhaling his very characteristic smell. Somehow it calms you down slowly.
And quietly, you open your mouth again.
"Welcome home Caleb." The tone soft and vulnerable, because you really mean it. You continue with a grumble in more lower voice, "Took you long enough."
Caleb can't help but to soften the grin on his face, his left hand slip past your head to you rest your head onto his arms. Chuckles upon hearing the grumble from your whisper.
"You know, you can just admit that you do missed me. No need to hold your pride so high, could it be the reason you stopped growing pips?"
The lower abdomen of his got pinched by you. It's a small kind of pinch so it felt like being poked by a needle.
"Ouch! You're still short tempered as ever!" Caleb laughs.
His laugh fades, and it got followed by quietness in the room. It only left a comfortable silence now; gentle way presence that is embracing with full care. Slowly, your hand slip it's way to wrapped around his waist.
Soothing and reassuring pat on your back makes you grow more peaceful. It's been a long time since you feel this off guard. Caleb really do have his way to make you feel relaxed around him.
"So... Mind telling why you aren't asleep yet pips?" His hand reached from the back of your head to your jaw, pulling slightly to make your face facing him.
Caleb's eyebrows furrow of worry, looking at you gently with all that tender looking in his eyes. There's no way you can lie to that face.
"Don't keep things bottled up. Tell me about them, pipsqueak. I'll help you deal with your problems." Smiling, gentle, very much full of warmth. You could never resist him like this.
Honestly, you're not sure either of this. Because everyone brush it off, saying that you can just go sleep easily—so why would you bother telling it to Caleb anyway? Nevertheless, you feel like it, the idea of talking to him and seeking comfort from him.
"I wanna talk." You answer to him. That makes the Caleb nods.
"Go on, I'll hear you." He already prepared himself to hear you anyway. There's no way his very dear pipsqueak couldn't sleep without any reason behind it.
Slowly, you talk about what has been happening to you. It comes out soft and clear. He carefully listened to all of your words, hearing every ounce of word intently. His hand doesn't stop giving soothing motion to your back, sometimes glides along your hair.
You talk about your days, how people been making you feel bad lately, how you find it very exhausting that you can't even managed to slip past everything to take a breather, at least. Too is talking of how you started using your time to rest to escape the reality.
"And every time I try to close my eyes, I can't. Some deep emptiness and strange feeling keep on following me. I can't relax comfortably."
Occasionally too you mentioned about how you will just doomscrolling on your phone before bed. Watching videos, reading community, etc just to keep yourself filled.
"I tried everything, watching relaxing videos, reading before bed, hearing some white sounds, yet I still unable to fall asleep."
The habit then formed, you started to sleep very late at night. Sometimes even at early morning or not sleeping at all. You still need to wakes up at afternoon, so your rest has been less and less; resulting in tiredness.
"Some can see it, and I brush it off. But there's time where I talk about it. And they doesn't give me clear answer or whether their suggestions truly helps. So I just lay awake at the bed in the dark room."
Caleb hears all of your talks, hand doesn't stop giving motion on your back. He doesn't judge, he just staring at you in quiet intensity that screams his presence for you. And you're glad for that.
"Is that all baby?" He asks gently, upon you now already stopped talking about it. You answered his question with a hum of yes.
"You're holding that all alone, but why didn't you mention any bit of it in earlier pips?" Caleb moved his hand to caress your face, his thumb rolling back and forth on your cheek.
You look up to him, seeing his gaze that locked on you, and you too can see the faint darkening undereye on his face—the one probably from exam effect. "Because I don't want to disturb you Cae. You're busy preparing for your exam, just how can I dare to disturb you with small things like this?"
The question invites a snort from Caleb, it's like he doesn't buy any of those words you said just now. "Silly girl. You've grown well now that you admit thinking about my wellbeings."
He jokes with a big grin, his hand that's holding your face giving a bit pinch to your cheek. Of course it earns a scoff from you, glaring at him as he can't stop babying you.
Caleb ignores your glare as his smile soften, he continued. "Besides, you're the first for me to think about. It doesn't matter if I'm in a very busy schedule or important task later. But if I ever see you down to slump then I will feel worry that I might mess up with my task.
"You should've tell me everything that keeps you worried. Don't keep it alone like me. Sharing your load with someone else will makes it feel lighter." His hand that's cupping your face move to brush your head, smiling so gently to you.
"It must be tiring, exhausting, even empty when you can't sleep like that. I wish I could've be by your side when it happened. So pips, even if it's a message or when we're on facetiming. If you ever feel alone, don't forget to reach me yeah?
"I'll try my best to make time with you so you won't feel alone. Even if we're just on call without talking. Whatever it is that can ease your loneliness. So don't be afraid, no matter what happens I'll be here for you" Purple-orange orbs of him staring straight at you. And it makes you feel seen more than anything.
You nods, smiling to him now. Wrapping your arms to his waist tighter, "Alrighty Cae~ you better not complained when I floods you with messages and calls!"
He chuckled, placing his hand to your back again to pulls you closer to his body. "Oh no! I might need to be wary of my ringtone now."
You just smiles and giggles, nuzzling your head to his chest. Caleb too smiled and giving your back some rubs as you make yourself comfortable in his embrace.
"Now now, time to get some rest pipsqueak. I'll keep patting you until you fall asleep." He whisper gently to your hair, inhaling your shampoo.
"Goodnight Cae,"
"Goodnight and sleep tight my best little pipsqueak." He gives a gentle lingering kiss on top of your head.
The smell of Caleb envelop your lungs, makes you relax. The rise and fall is his chest, also the sound lf his calm breathing, is telling you how to breath properly even if you closed your eyes. His heartbeat, sounds clear in this position, giving your heart a guide to beat properly. The gentle caress of his big hand easing out all the tension in your body. His big figure embracing you makes you feel safe and not alone.
After countless of sleepless and restless night, finally you can fall into deep slumber. Maybe it is just because of him you can rest. Maybe it's just that his presence itself that makes you lower your guard. Whatever it is, one thing for sure, you can't live without Caleb.
-----
As your breathing finally eases out also with you finally fall asleep, Caleb gaze down at you. Watching the rise and fall on your chest, the way your eyeslash flutter in your sleep.
Caleb brings his hand up to your face, cupping it gently as if holding a glass. He watches your relaxed expression, the frown in your face gone so is the sadness in your eyes earlier.
He give soothing caress to your cheeks, he thought that this innocent looking without too much hard thought face suits you better. Then he brings strands of your hair, he holds it carefully.
"It doesn't matter if the world changes, we'll always have each other." Caleb kissed your hair in his palm as he whisper your name gently.
.
.
.
Bonus:
You're still sleepy since you just wake up, walking in to the kitchen. As you passed the fridge, you see there's another thing pinned.
And it's... the photo of you faking sleeping just last night!
There's also a note under it: "𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘪𝘱𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘯𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘝!"
Gasping, your voice of complain echoes in the house. "Caleb!!!"
And from somewhere in the house, you can hear a faintly sound of laughter.