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There are many types of soulmates, Ray knows. There are people that see in black and white until they meet their soulmate. There are people that only see the color of their soulmate’s eyes. There are people that have annoying songs stuck in their heads forever and even longer. There are people with names, or who sentences written on their wrists, people with tattoos pointing to their soulmates marking their bodies. There are people that get warmer when they near their soulmate. There are people with telepathic powers connecting them to their soulmate. There are people that slip the body of their soulmate for few minutes when they turn eighteen.
Ray is none of those people. Ray’s body is without tattoos or words and he always saw all the colors. The songs in his head are his own and there’s no voice or telepathic presence. He’s also well behind his eighteen birthday and never left his own body. He doesn’t have any hint when it comes to his soulmate, but neither did his parents. They were both touch types, both knowing who their special one was only after skin on skin contact.
That’s the reason Ray tries to shake as many hands as possible. He goes out and every time someone new steps in his life, Ray’s breath catches in his throat and he hopes. It doesn’t work though. It doesn’t work at his high school, it doesn’t work at his college, it doesn’t work at his university and it doesn’t work at his job.
He starts wondering if perhaps he’s not one of the ‘cursed’ ones. That maybe he’s one of the very few that do not have a soulmate, that made something so horrible in the past life that they were taken even this away.
Then Anna appears. There are no fireworks, there aren’t any changes altogether and everything points towards Anna not being the one for Ray. But she makes him smile, she makes him feel and Ray starts to believe that maybe he doesn’t need a soulmate as long as he can have Anna at his side. For the first time in forever, Ray’s not thinking of himself as cursed, but as very, very lucky.
Then Anna dies. Ray can’t save her and she dies and Ray doesn’t even have a scar on his body. His world tumbles into darkness at that moment because he can’t be good enough.
It’s been months. They say that you can grieve for years or even more at the loss of your soulmate. They are wrong. It’s not just your soulmate you can grieve that long after, it doesn’t matter that Anna and Ray weren’t soulmates, that he has no scar marking his body as a proof. They were real and so is the hurt that Ray feels.
Ray becomes The Atom. He swears to protect people that can’t protect themselves. He swears to help at least a little wherever he can, and the pain goes a tiny bit away. It’s still there, it’s still present, but right now he has a project to focus on and it helps.
The HIVE has him and for the first time Ray’s glad he is soulmate-less. They only have his body to torture that way and no one else can get hurt.
He’s saved. Life goes on.
Ray stops counting the minutes, hours and days and then one day he wakes up on a rooftop. His head hurts from the bright light and he blinks at the man lying next to him. The criminal that Barry had full hands with. One glance reveals that the other part of the duo is just inches away as well and Ray sighs. Whatever’s happening, Ray really hopes he won’t have to fight with the major headache.
“I’m as ignorant as you, for once.”
Ray blinks and turns toward the sound.
“What?” He asks, more than a little confused. Stein looks at him, as does the infamous Captain Cold. When their eyes meet Snart’s eyes widen for a second and he opens his mouth, but Ray’s attention snaps to another familiar voice.
“Where are we?”
That’s Sara. Sara’s there as well and suddenly the rooftop doesn’t seem so horrible even though there is the criminal duo present.
“Why don’t you ask the dude who knocked us out and kidnapped us? British dude with a flashy thing? Ring any bells?”
“The name’s Rip Hunter.” The guy readily explains and Ray’s gaze snaps to the man. “I’m from East London. Oh, and the future.”
Something in Ray jumps at that, the scientist in his mind wide awake. Because if Rip really is from the future, that would have to mean the time travel and Ray’s more than sure that there is no man of science that’s not excited by the idea. To be able to see how the world worked at some point, to perhaps glimpse on the future.
To maybe change the past. Ray’s heart’s beating loudly, almost painfully in his chest as he focuses back on the conversation.
“I’ve been tasked with assembling an elite team to stop him. Travel through time. To capture Savage before he grows into the monster he becomes.”
Snart’s walking around Rip and soon Rory follows.
“Or mine.” The man growls and Ray frowns. The words don’t make any sense.
“I know it’s difficult for you to fathom, but where – when I’m from, the year 2166, you and everyone on this roof aren’t just considered heroes. You’re legends.”
“Legends?” Ray asks, frowning a little. Legends are people that did something for the world. Legends are the ones that people remember. Legends are worth remembering.
Rip turns to him and nods.
“It’s dangerous for any of you to know too much about your own futures, but I am here because each of you, as individuals, is destined for greatness.”
Finally not living inside someone’s shadow. Finally being able to do something, being able to be important to something, even if it’s just a time. Finally making sure someone would think back on him, soulmate or not. And maybe, at least in that fantasy he won’t have to be as lonely.
“I could get behind that.” He nods and frowns when Snart sends him a glare. He looks almost mortally offended and Ray’s not sure why. He doesn’t ask, it’s not important what Snart thinks right now. What’s important is the address that Rip’s giving Stein. What’s important is making a decision (like Ray didn’t make one long time already).
Oliver’s not impressed.
“What do you know about Captain Hunter?” Ray almost winces. Not the question he wanted the man to ask, but he knows Oliver’s expecting an answer. When he comes to his friends, he’s like a dog with a bone, not letting go.
“He’s a Time Master from the 22nd Century. It’s a little hard to Google.” Ray says, smiling when Oliver stops and turns to glare at him.
“So you know nothing and yet you trust him?” The words are hard and heavy and some time ago Ray would they were meant to show him that he’s stupid, that he’s not enough. He knows better this time, he knows that this is the way that Oliver grudgingly admits to liking someone, trying to look out for them.
“I’m as trusting as you are cynical.” Ray says lightly, still hoping to turn it all into a joke.
“Well, I’m cynical, and it’s difficult for me to trust anyone, but that has kept me alive.” Oliver’s eyes are narrowed and he’s all the way in Ray’s space and Ray sighs.
“I died once. At least… the world thought I did. You know what happened? Nothing. All the money, all the buildings, all the inventions… the world didn’t care. My life ultimately, didn’t matter.” It hurts. It haunts him day and night and he never said it out loud, but he’s sure that Oliver can understand out of all people. Because he knows what it feels like aching to make a difference. Even if it’s just for one human being.
“Rip’s giving me a chance to help save the world. I have to take it.” He half-whispers, his eyes wet and burning. He’s going to go one way or another, he knows that and Oliver knows that too. But Ray doesn't want to talk to Felicity and he needs someone to know. Needs someone to remember in case things go wrong and Ray will be lost once again.
Oliver’s still glaring, but little by little Ray can see him giving in. Then he nods and offers Ray a hand.
“Keep your head on a swivel while you’re at it.” Oliver’s voice’s breaking and Ray’s sure his wouldn’t be far off either. Instead he smiles and nods, squeezing Oliver’s hand hard in thanks.
Ray’s waiting, the excitement bubbling in his stomach – he knows Sara’s coming. Oliver told him that and asked both of them to take care of each other. So at least one of them will be there. Professor Stein seemed interested enough the other day as well, so he hopes he’ll tag along too. He’s unsure whether he wants Snart and Rory to-
“Are you deaf, Haircut?”
Ray blinks and turns, coming face to face with the infamous duo.
“Snart here asked you something.” Rory bellows and Ray frowns. The feeling of wrong is back again.
“I didn’t hear.” He says and Snart smirks. His mouth opens and it moves and Ray hears nothing. He hears nothing. He knows he’s staring and when Rory growls, Ray shakes his head.
“I can’t hear you.”
Snart’s eyes narrow and he takes a step closer to Ray, staring at him as he he’s trying to read his mind. Then he frowns and snaps something Rory’s way.
“What do you mean, he’s telling the truth. The guy’s obviously messing with us.” He growls and steps closer to Ray. “Thinking you’re better than us, huh?”
Snart rolls his eyes, his mouth opening once again. Ray’s watches it move and a cold hand closes around his heart.
No way. There’s no way Snart’s his soulmate, there is no way Ray would be one of those people that never get to hear their soulmates voice.
“Aren’t you guys a happy little group.” Sara calls and Ray turns to her, his heart beating loudly in his chest.
There is no way. There is no way the world would be so cruel.
Everything happens too quickly. Ray doesn’t even have time to really think about the soulmate situation and his life’s already spiraling again.
Rip lied to them. Rip lied to all of them, made them, made Ray think his life is worth something, perhaps at least in the future, gave them the hope just to rip it away again. Well, Hunter’s name is fitting at least.
The time really doesn’t care about Ray, exactly as he thought. His hand shakes and slips on the laser from his glove, firing and Ray jumps.
“Watch it!” Mick snaps and Ray winces.
“Sorry, sorry.” He says, and sighs before looking away. What are they all even doing? “What’s the point of us even giving this a second thought? Rip has already seen the future. He knows exactly what’s in store for each of us.” Snart’s frowning his way and Ray shakes his head. “Might as well have stayed dead. ‘Cause the world doesn’t need any of us.” He looks away from Snart’s gaze and nods to Sara.
“You’re just a lost assassin.” He shrugs before looking at Rory. “You’re just a pair of good for nothing criminals.” That is something neither of them can change obviously. It looks like their future is set in stone for them.
“I can live with that.”
“Well, I can’t. Can’t live with somebody putting a cap on my destiny.” Ray’s eyes turn to Snart for a moment before he forces them further, to Rory. “I spent my whole life working to be something greater,” the words feel heavy on his tongue but Ray still pushes them out, “by becoming something smaller. Then some guy comes along and tells me that being the Atom is as insignificant as an actual atom.”
His whole life, his whole work. His project that was meant to help people, to make a difference for some, to protect them – it doesn’t matter at all. No matter what Ray does, it’s still insignificant. Meaningless. After all, that’s why Rip chose him. Because if he dies on this path, no one would know, no one would care. It wouldn’t be important. It wouldn’t affect anything. Does Ray’s life even have a point or-
Snart’s grabbing his wrist suddenly, the grip hot and painful. He’s glaring daggers into Ray and he’s saying something and Ray doesn’t hear and it makes it all even worse and-
“Leonard’s right.” Sara stands up. “That isn’t our future that Rip knows. This mission is about changing the world. We already started changing our own future by coming on this trip. If we have the power to change the world, don’t you think we can change our own future?”
The hope flickers in Ray’s chest once again and he takes a deep breath. Maybe… maybe if they could change the time… earn a place in history. Show it that they can make a difference.
The hand on his wrist tightens for a second then lets go and when Ray looks up at Snart, he’s smirking. His lips move again and Ray bites his lips.
“That’s a very good point.” He says, standing up. They need to find Rip.
Len watches as Raymond leaves the cargo bay, his head held high and his mind full of hopeful thoughts.
“So is he?” Mick grumbles next to him and Len lifts an eyebrow.
“Is he what?” He asks, head leaning to the side and Mick rolls his eyes.
“Don’t play coy with me, Snart. You know very well what I’m asking. He’s your soulmate, isn’t he?” Mick’s eyes narrow, taking a small step closer to Len. “That’s why you wanted to come. Not because of our business.”
“I meant what I said.” Len glares right back. “Stealing will be easier in time where they have no idea about alarm, you know that.”
“Yes.” Mick nods. “But that’s not all of your agenda, is it?” Len didn’t consider Mick stupid. But he didn’t consider him this smart either. “Look, I don’t care if he’s your soulmate or not. You want a piece of that ass? For all I care, take it. But you owe me, Snart, and I want it back in diamonds.” He huffs before following Sara outside.
Len is about to do the same when his eyes catch the image of Raymond in the halls, head held high and walking down the ship, firm, determined expression in his eyes and something in Len’s chest jumps.
He never considered finding his soulmate. He never considered having telepathic powers when it came to the said soulmate, to see their whole life up to the point they met and he never considered his soulmate to be so lonely. So damaged. So hurt. Never considered the overwhelming need to make someone happy, but here it is.
The bond is already making him want to keep Raymond safe even from himself and his destructive thoughts and it is only few hours long. Len fears what it will do in few days.
He shakes his head, curses and gets up before following his ‘team’.
… he also fears it might not be just the bond soon.