Chapter Text
It burned.
It burned down her back, up her arms, inside her vertebrae. It wouldn't stop; it kept hissing and snapping against her, clawing at her once smooth skin with hot talons. She wanted it to stop. She wanted so badly for it to stop but it licked at her limbs, hungry and crackling and gluttonous.
It was eating her alive.
She could feel it sinking its sparked teeth into her shoulder, ripping through the tender muscle. She could feel it gnaw at her bones, cutting its fangs against her skeleton. She tried screaming but her voice was gone; it was trapped and ashen in her mouth, dead in her chest.
Its silence was more terrifying than the pain.
Was she going to die?
She was going to die.
She didn't want to die.
She wanted…someone.
She wanted her.
Her.
The pain seared down her limbs, taking root in the tips of her fingers.
Her.
Carmilla.
She wanted Carmilla.
Panic tightened in her throat, pushing charcoal tears into the corners of her eyes.
Was she going to see her again?
She had to see her again.
She tried to move, pull her body from the molten, cracking, burning. She needed to get to Carmilla. She had to see her. She needed to see her. Where was she? Why wasn't she there? Why couldn't she just be with her, instead of with the all consuming heat?
"Laura…"
She could hear her, hear her and never have her. The gravel tears slipped down her cheeks, scraping and tearing at her skin.
"I've got you."
Her voice.
She could hear it.
But she wasn't there; not really. It was just her and the fire now. Her, the fire, and its hellish snapping jaws.
Alone and burning and dying.
"You can wake up now."
There was a pulling, a tightness in her chest.
It was the end.
It was coming.
Finally.
"I've got you. I've got you. I've got you."
Laura's eyes flew open, her limbs flying out to strike at whatever was tangled around her. Her skin was dripping, coated in sweat and tears and half torn clothes. Hands fluttered around her, pressing softly against her wrist and stomach.
"Laura?"
Laura's head snapped to her right, her breath hot and loud in her ears.
Carmilla.
Carmilla was there in the half light, her hair mussed and her eyes wide. She delicately brushed her fingertips over Laura's temple as Laura's eyes flicked all over her face. Her heart was thundering in her ears, her pulse speeding so quickly that it felt like her skin was going to rupture.
Laura could feel the tightness in her shoulder, the marred, jagged scar that pulled when she slept on it too long; as if sensing it, Carmilla's cool palm slid slowly under the collar of her shirt. Her gentle fingers brushed against the puckered skin and Laura tried desperately to keep the comforted whine from breaking out of her.
Against her will, her throat released a high cry and suddenly she had thrown herself onto Carmilla. Carmilla's arm snaked out from her collar and slid up Laura's back, her cool hand finding her scar again. Laura pressed close, her fingers clawing at Carmilla's sleep shirt and tugging her closer.
"Carm, I…" She tried, but her voice cracked as Carmilla's lips brushed against her eyebrow.
"I've got you, cupcake." She murmured, and Laura let her broken sobs out; she let them crack and shatter around them, focusing her attention on the way Carmilla's fingers massaged her aching shoulder, how her skin smelled, the welcomed coolness of her body.
The nightmares had become less frequent in the past weeks, but when they hit, it seemed they were worse than before.
The final task of the tournament had left both Carmilla and Laura with scars; thankfully, Laura was the only one with physical ones.
Her shoulder had been licked almost to the bone by the fiendfyre. Though it had been healed quick enough, McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey had warned her that her shoulder would never be the same. Magical fire was not so easily remedied, they'd said. Laura hadn't truly believed them.
Every morning however, when she saw her shoulder marred and the skin pulling, she understood what they meant.
Laura didn't mind the scar. The nightmares, however, were another story.
In them, she never got out. The fiendfyre would eat her alive as she cried for Carmilla.
Sometimes, Carmilla was there and, in those, she watched and did nothing. In others, Laura got out, burned and broken, and Carmilla no longer wanted her.
Laura didn't know which ones were worse.
Probably the ones where she watched Carmilla be burned instead.
She had a special hatred for those.
Carmilla's hands ran slowly up and down her back as Laura's breaths returned to normal. She didn't know how long she had been crying, but from the state of Carmilla's sleep shirt, soaked and stuck to her skin, Laura assumed it had been a while. She pulled back, her throat tight and guilt settling into her chest.
She shouldn't be the one with nightmares; Carmilla had seen more horrors than her. It was unfair. She should have been soothing Carmilla, comforting her and telling her she was there for her. This broken, lovely girl shouldn't have to heal her.
Carmilla's hands slid out from under Laura's shirt and moved to Laura's cheeks, thumbs stroking the tears away so they slipped down the side of Laura's jaw.
"I love you." Carmilla murmured between them, her eyes clear and dark and so, so honest.
Laura felt all the tension leave her sore shoulder.
"Yeah?"
Laura's voice was hoarse and she could feel her ears lighting up in embarrassment at how weak it sounded.
Carmilla smiled, her lips curved up in the smirk that Laura had come to associate as just for her.
"Yeah." Carmilla said, before she pressed forward to leave a soft, chaste kiss against her lips.
Laura let the relieved tears slip out of her eyes as she pushed against Carmilla, opening her mouth and gentling asking for Carmilla to do the same. The Slytherin did so immediately and Laura let her lead them in a slow, wet kiss for one minute, two minutes, until she couldn't remember when they had started kissing at all.
"Carm…" Laura breathed, her breath short and her shoulder the last thing on her mind. Her body was pulsing, almost throbbing, to be closer to Carmilla. Laura opened her eyes, her hands moving to tangle in Carmilla's hair.
Carmilla hummed sleepily at the action, eyes still closed.
Laura took a moment to take her in; her smooth eyelids, her sharp cheeks, her swollen pink lips. Laura felt her heart thump heavily.
She was hers. In that moment, in the dark of her bed, lips puffy and wet from their kisses, her body hidden under one of Laura's ratty sleep shirts, Carmilla looked so very hers.
"I'm in love with you."
The right corner of Carmilla's mouth quirked up.
"Better be." She sighed, slipping her hands just under the waistband of Laura's pants to rest low on her back. The movement made Laura's heart leap into her throat, yet calmed her in the same moment.
Carmilla let out a sleepy yawn and Laura felt exhaustion seep into her bones, a tiredness from her nightmare and from kissing. Yet among that sleepiness was the simmering heat that rested deep in her stomach; a want for Carmilla in a way she hadn't wanted anyone before. With her hands holding her so closely, with Carmilla's chest pressing so finely against her own, Laura knew she wanted to touch her, and be touched by her, in a way that was completely indecent.
It was delightful.
And, as Laura watched Carmilla fall back to sleep with her wild hair and kiss swollen lips, she swore to herself that as soon as her shoulder was fully healed, she would show Carmilla just how much she loved her.
She'd show her over and over, in every room in the castle, down by the lake, Merlin, she'd do so in front of her friends if the opportunity presented itself.
Moreover, Laura wanted to that forever. Not just now but for the rest of her life.
It was a thought that frightened her as much as it thrilled her.
Laura sighed and closed her eyes, snuggling closer into Carmilla's chest as she shook the heavy thoughts from her mind.
Term was ending. Her shoulder was healing. And, soon, their day would come.
--
Carmilla blearily wandered into the Great Hall, her robe slipping off her shoulders as she attempted to finish tying her tie.
She had to scramble to the Slytherin dormitories that morning; she and Laura had spent an especially...long time waking up.
Carmilla smirked at the memory of how short Laura's breath had been, how desperate her hands were, how hot her mouth was. It made heat shoot through Carmilla's veins.
As if her body was searching for her, Carmilla spotted Laura at the end of the Hufflepuff table. She was surrounded by gingers, all of them talking obnoxiously loud, but Laura was staring dreamily at her pumpkin juice, her head resting in the palm of her hand, fingers drumming softly against her cheek.
Carmilla picked up her pace, hands itching to touch her again.
It was unfathomable, how much she loved Laura. She loved just being near her, touching her, getting to look at her. It was overwhelming.
She suddenly wished they were back in Laura's bed.
There had been something different about this morning. They had kissed with something beyond passion, beyond hunger. The gentle pace they normally kept was gone. It wasn't exactly unusual; after nights where Laura was plagued with bad dreams, they were always extra affectionate. But this morning...Carmilla had woken to Laura's hands all ready under her shirt, her lips sucking against her neck in the spot that instantly made Carmilla moan. It had taken every bit of strength not to strip Laura down immediately and finally touch her in all the ways she wanted.
But it was morning and they had class and there was Lola Perry still lurking around just beyond Laura's bed curtains.
Carmilla wanted Laura, almost painfully, but she wouldn't let that next step happen until it was right, until it was perfect.
It was what Laura deserved.
Carmilla sighed, attempting to shake the last ghosts of lust from her mind. She slid next to Laura at the end of the Hufflepuff table, her hand reaching to give Laura's thigh a squeeze in greeting. Laura nearly leaped out of her skin, just catching her pumpkin juice before it spilled all over the table.
"Whoa there, cupcake, you all right?" Carmilla's palm fell over Laura's knee, her thumb rubbing circles against the soft skin.
Laura looked at her, her ears red as Laf's hair. Swiftly, she placed her hand over Carmilla's and stilled its movements.
"Yes. Fine. Totally fine. But..." She leaned into Carmilla, their foreheads touching, and took a breath.
"You're gonna need to stop touching my leg." Laura whispered.
Carmilla caught Laura's eyes and oh, oh.
Apparently she wasn't the only one who was having trouble forgetting how they woke up this morning.
Laura kissed her lightly before turning back to the ginger trio, leaving Carmilla slightly stunned.
Her heart banged around loudly in her ears. She affected Laura; she did that to her. The knowledge was a rush. She didn't think she'd ever get used to that fact. It was almost impossible to fathom.
Laura Hollis wanted her just as much as she wanted Laura Hollis.
Carmilla tried to hide her smirk as she stole a sip from Laura's juice.
"Yo, 'Puff, what'd you say you'd bring to the party?" Laf stopped mid-story to throw the question at Laura.
Laura shook her head, taking a bite of toast. Carmilla watched her mouth as she chewed, suddenly envious she wasn't a piece of bread.
"Party?" Laura asked, absentmindedly offering Carmilla a bit of her toast. Carmilla felt affection flood her chest as she leaned forward and took a messy mouthful.
Laf rolled their eyes at the display, a gesture Carmilla answered with a glare, before they responded.
"End of school, graduation is nigh, let's all get drunk in the Gryffindor tower kind of party? Thought you knew?"
Laf's eyes moved to Danny, who was shifting uncomfortably across from them.
"Sorry, Laura." Danny offered. "I've been meaning to tell you."
Laura shrugged, her hand finding Carmilla's beneath the table. Instantly, Carmilla's fingers began playing with Laura's and she did her best to ignore the conversation around her. Obviously, she wasn't included so she didn't see the point. However, Danny's next words caught her attention.
"I'd love for you to come."
Carmilla's muscles clenched. Well, of course Big Red would want Laura there.
Carmilla was certain Big Red wanted Laura in a great, many ways.
Laura waved Danny off.
"No worries, Danny. We'd love to come."
Carmilla tried not to perk up at that, but couldn't help herself from eyeing the rest of the table at Laura's response.
Laura didn't seem to think anything of her answer, happily going back to her toast as if the matter was settled. Carmilla glanced over at the ginger trio and felt something very different.
Danny sighed, angrily slumping in her seat and shoving eggs around her plate with new vigor. Perry patted her wrist sympathetically while Laf just shrugged at the pair before continuing to finish the last bits of their Charms homework.
Carmilla's veins went cold.
She knew she wasn't Danny Lawrence's favorite person. She even understood that the curly one may have been wary of her. But at the very least she thought Laf didn't mind her. Maybe she wasn't their friend, Carmilla didn't know if she had any other friends besides Laura (and perhaps the Grey Lady, though she wasn't sure if ghosts should count), but at bare minimum Carmilla thought Laf was fine with her presence among them.
But...if the actions of the table were any indication, Carmilla wasn't so convinced of that anymore.
She turned her gaze to Laura. Surprisingly, Laura was all ready looking at her. Instantly, her gaze made Carmilla calm. Laura smiled, a smudge of jam just above her lip. Carmilla couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and kissing her to rid her of it. Laura giggled against her mouth before puling away and giving her hand a squeeze.
Maybe the ginger squad didn't think she belonged around them.
And maybe they were right.
But, of one thing, Carmilla was certain.
She belonged with Laura.
--
The halls were quiet. The soft crackling of the wall torches echoed gently around the aged stone, their flitting shadows playing across the floors in smooth, silent dances. Laura ran her fingers along the old walls, letting her finger tips scrape against the divots and cracks of the old walls. She took a deep breath, trying to imprint the hot, nearly stuffy, air into her memory.
Seventh year was almost over.
Her time as a student at Hogwarts was coming to a close.
She didn't want to forget anything.
Not one scent, not one texture, not one breath.
It wasn't her last prefect round; there was just under a month of school left and she'd have several more nights to commit the school to memory. But Laura could feel the end coming toward her like a comet; slow and sure and impactful.
Everything was going to change.
She just wanted to hold on to the familiar for a little longer, as long as she possibly could.
For as much as Laura enjoyed mysteries, she was not enjoying her undecided future. What would she do after Hogwarts? What did she really want to be? Where did she want go or end up and who did she want to be with when she did it all?
The last question was easy; Carmilla. She wanted to be with Carmilla. Of that, she was absolutely certain.
However, what she was not absolutely certain of was what Carmilla wanted. For as close as they were and for as much time as they spent together, Carmilla still managed to be bit of a mystery. Most of the time, Laura didn't mind. But when it came to what happened after graduation...Laura was become a little bit antsy of the not knowing.
Laura rounded the corner with her swirling thoughts, aiming toward the library, when a hand caught her own against the wall.
"Why Miss Hollis, I don't think you're paying much attention on your rounds."
Laura tried to fight the grin on her face but couldn't. She spun around, coming face to face with Carmilla's smug smirk.
"You're out of bed after hours, Karnstein."
Carmilla's smirk broke into a toothy smile. Her hand slipped from Laura's and her arms reached to wind around Laura's waist, hauling her in. Laura's heart thundered in her ears as Carmilla brought their bodies together.
"Can't sleep." She murmured, her eyes lingering on Laura's lips.
Laura tried to keep her composure, but her ears were slowly heating up, her pulse speeding through her veins and lighting her up.
"Oh?" She offered, attempting to keep the tremble out of her voice.
Carmilla hummed, her hands dipping low on Laura's back. She took a step forward, her body pressing full against Laura's.
"Bed's too big."
Laura swallowed, her hands reaching up to rest on Carmilla's shoulders.
"Too big?" She asked, her voice higher than she intended.
Carmilla nodded, her nose brushing against Laura's. She took a step forward, pushing Laura back until her body met the stone wall behind her. Laura gasped at the new position, her body deliciously pressed between Carmilla's and the warm stone.
"Kinda like it's missing something." Carmilla's low voice was almost a purr. "Or someone, rather."
Laura felt her knees weaken.
Merlin, Carmilla was good.
Laura tried to keep the shakiness out of her voice as she attempted to match Carmilla at her own game.
"Who exactly were you expecting in your bed?"
Carmilla's eyes widened slightly, clearly taken off guard by Laura's relatively unflustered response. Laura mentally high-fived her self for managing to keep her eyes on Carmilla's own, instead of trailing down to stare at her mouth.
Instantly, Carmilla's lips were on her own.
Laura should have known she couldn't fool her; the moan that bloomed out of her at the first touch of Carmilla's mouth was sign enough.
Carmilla pressed her against the wall, her hands slipping between them to unbutton her robes and press her hands against her overly starched uniform shirt. Laura's fingers threaded through Carmilla's hair, her mouth falling open in a practiced dance that was too hot and too fast to feel familiar. Carmilla's teeth tugged at her bottom lip and Laura couldn't stop her body from jerking at the pulse that shot through her bones.
She wanted her so badly.
She always wanted her.
But now, it was blinding.
If Laura couldn't touch her skin, she was liable to start crying. She'd never felt like this before; a desperation, a clawing and crushing desire to be so, so close to someone.
She loved her.
Merlin, she loved her.
Laura knew that was the difference.
Carmilla's mouth had moved to her neck, sucking almost painfully beneath her ear and Laura knew she was making noises that were too obscene for the hall.
"Carm, please…" She managed, just before Carmilla's lips met her own again.
Laura could feel the insistence in Carmilla's kiss then; it was different, needy.
Her hands found the buttons of Carmilla's uniform shirt, uncaring of their openness in the hall. She had to feel her skin, touch the warmth that was making her hands ache. Carmilla nodded against her as their mouths clashed sloppily. Carmilla's fingers tugged Laura's shirt from her skirt, slipping underneath the fabric to grip at her skin. Laura arched when her fingernails pressed high against her ribs.
"Laura…" Carmilla panted as Laura popped the last button open on her shirt.
Laura ran her hands up her stomach, tugging her closer by the middle section of Carmilla's bra.
"Still don't know who you want in bed?"
Laura was shocked by the deepness of her own voice, by the fact that she had even been able to speak at all. But, if the answering whine was anything to go by, it was much appreciated by Carmilla.
Carmilla's teeth scraped along her jaw, moving to take her earlobe between them.
"You." She murmured, nibbling Laura's skin.
"Always you."
Laura's heart swelled and thumped heavy in her chest. Her left hand moved to Carmilla's hair, tightening and holding the Slytherin to her as Carmilla's mouth worked mottled hickeys against her skin.
Laura's right hand slipped between them, wholly indecent and sinfully intended, her fingers itching to find parts of Carmilla that they didn't already know. Her palm slipped low on her stomach, Carmilla's hips pressing against her hand, their breath loud and fast and heavy, Laura's heart thundering like mad---
"Hollis!"
Laura felt her adrenaline spike in a panic, her entire body lighting in an uncomfortably unpleasurable way. She instantly spun Carmilla around, throwing the girl forcefully against the wall and blocking her from the oncoming voice. In an instant, she had shrugged out of her robe and shucked it back on her girlfriend, hastily trying to cover Carmilla's exposed chest.
Laura turned back to the approaching footsteps to see Danny Lawrence marching down the hall.
Crap.
"Karnstein, out of bed after hours?" Danny's voice was hard and clipped, angry to the point of cracking.
Laura's hands were reaching behind her to Carmilla, attempting to tug the robe around her and also bring her body back against her. Carmilla's voice came huskily over her shoulder.
"Hate to disappoint your delinquent ideals of me, Lawrence."
Danny's eyes narrowed, her nostrils flaring in anger.
Double crap.
"That'll be 10 points from Slytherin for breaking curfew."
Laura opened her mouth to protest, the fight hot and sharp in her throat, when Danny's angry glare met her own.
"And 15 from Hufflepuff for a prefect abusing their power."
Laura's argument sank back into her chest, annoyed yet unable to argue.
It was past midnight. By all accounts, even Laura should have been in bed.
But term was ending.
And they were graduating.
And Carmilla had been semi-naked against a wall.
She was just a regular girl, how was she supposed to keep her head on straight during that?
"Laura, you should know better."
Laura bristled at the tone; condescending and judgmental. She fought back the urge to snap; she technically was breaking the rules and Carmilla was too. But it didn't mean that she liked one of her friends treating her like a child. Again.
She was about to say as much when Carmilla beat her to it.
"And what exactly are you doing wandering the halls, bean stalk? Aren't you gonna deduct from that pompous house of yours too?"
Laura glanced over her shoulder at Carmilla. She had managed to tug on Laura's Hufflepuff robe and fasten the few buttons. Still, Laura could see her unbuttoned shirt underneath, leaving an inviting view of her collarbones. Her hair was wild around her, her lips swollen and pink. She looked thoroughly kissed and Laura felt a childish sense of pride that she had done that to her.
"Not that it's any of your business, but Madam Prince needed help catching some loose books. The pixie and fairy sections were especially difficult."
Laura turned back to Danny, trying to ignore the heat still pulsing in her veins at the thought of a semi-clothed Carmilla behind her, in time to see her straightening out her head girl badge against her lapel.
An awkward silence settled around the trio. Laura rocked back on her heels, bumping into Carmilla. The movement sent a glare over Danny's features.
"You need to go back to your dorms."
"Likewise." Laura countered, her jaw set and her voice sharp.
Danny crossed her arms.
"Well, go on then. Hufflepuff and Slytherin dorms are on opposite ends of the castle."
Laura's veins ran cold.
No.
Carmilla couldn't go back to the Slytherin dorms, they always slept in the Hufflepuff dorms. In Laura's room. In Laura's bed. Together. No separating.
Laura could feel Carmilla tense behind her. She wanted to reach back and take her hands, but she wasn't sure what Danny would read into that. Did Danny know? Did she suspect she'd been sneaking Carmilla into her dormitory? How could she know? She couldn't, surely.
"Let's go, Karnstein." Danny ordered, eyes hard on Carmilla over Laura's shoulder.
Laura felt her heart drop, panic rising in her throat. She didn't want to sleep without Carmilla. She still had nightmares, Carmilla still had nightmares, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.
She braced herself to try and reason with Danny to let Carmilla walk her back to her dorm when Carmilla's hand gave her wrist a squeeze.
Without any snark, Carmilla slipped from behind Laura and came to stand in front of her. She took Laura's face in her hands, her palms warm, and her eyes found Laura's. Laura could see the apology in them; they were going to spend the night alone.
Carmilla leaned forward and pressed a slow, warm kiss to her mouth. It made Laura's legs feel like jelly. Then she was sweeping away, wandering past Danny still wearing Laura's robe.
Danny rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Go to bed, Laura." She finally offered before swiftly turning on her heel and following Carmilla down the hall.
--
Carmilla did her best to calm the angry churning in her gut, picking up her pace. She'd never liked Danny Lawrence, it had been clear Lawrence didn't like her much either since their first year, but usually the colossus left well enough alone.
Now, Laura who was still waking up with nightmares of the fiendfyre was going to sleep alone when Carmilla should be there for her.
The anger flared in her chest as the idea of Laura crying by herself.
Unacceptable.
Carmilla hugged Laura's robe tighter around her, trying to focus on anything but the gnawing in her gut.
"Karnstein!"
Carmilla growled under her breath.
She turned to see Lawrence sauntering down the hall like she owned the place.
She was head girl.
Guess she kind of did.
It made the simmering heat in Carmilla's stomach grow angrier.
"What?" She bit out.
Lawrence stopped just short of running Carmilla over.
"I don't like you."
Carmilla scoffed, dramatically placing her hand on her chest.
"And here I thought you were about to ask me to dance."
Danny's jaw offset, clenched and reddening.
"She's gonna get tired of you, you know. One day. She's gonna figure out that you're bad for her."
Carmilla swallowed the sharp sting that lanced through her chest at Danny's words.
That girl won't love you. Who could?
Her mother's eyes, sharp and clear.
You think I want you? You're just a prize. Once I've had my fill, I'll be gone.
Laura's face, twisted and cruel, but still her own.
Now, another face to add to the boggarts that rattled her still.
You're bad for her.
"Well, I guess you can get off your white horse Lancelot, because she can figure things out herself."
Carmilla could hear the cracks in her own voice and desperately hoped Danny couldn't.
Danny's hands balled into fists at her sides.
"If Laura didn't…" Danny's low voice trailed off, her teeth clenching hard.
Carmilla let out an agitated laugh. "If you're done, I'm going to bed."
Carmilla turned on her heel, attempting to hide the tension that was working its way into her muscles. Danny's voice came again, loud in the quiet hall.
"If you really cared for her--"
Carmilla whirled around at that, her wand out and aimed directly at the Gryffindor.
"Speak to me about Laura again and I will give you more than reason to dislike me. So shut up or get your wand out. I will not listen to you talk about her anymore."
Danny seemed stunned by the turn of events, but her hand hovered over her pocket as if debating what to do.
Carmilla could feel her pulse thunder in her ears, anger swirling through her chest like fire.
They must have looked like fools, with Carmilla in Laura's Hufflepuff robe and Danny's bright head girl badge shining obnoxiously in the torch light. Carmilla honestly didn't care. If Lawrence wanted her to be some big bad villain, so be it. She would not listen to her talk about Laura ever again.
After a moment, one Carmilla spent deciding which way she was going to move after she threw her first curse, Danny put her hands up. She took a few tentative steps back and Carmilla lowered her wand, letting out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.
Without another word, but not without a final glare, Danny turned and wandered back the way she had come. Carmilla was left alone in the corridor, heart beating hotly in her chest, wand arm shaking.
You're bad for her.
Carmilla thought of Laura's nightmares, why she had them. She wondered if she would always have them.
She'd always be scarred.
Because of you. She's scarred because of you.
You're bad for her.
Carmilla shook her head, tucking her wand away. She turned, heading to the Slytherin common room, her thoughts echoing with the ghosts of her boggarts' faces the entire walk there.
--
Laura flipped onto her right side, curling into a ball under the too warm covers. She tucked herself as small as she could, bringing her knees into her chest.
The bed was too big. Too warm. Too soft. Too empty.
Carmilla had been right.
It was missing something; someone.
Laura clamped her eyes shut, trying to count her breaths into a deep, slow pattern.
She shouldn't feel so desperate without Carmilla next to her. She should be able to handle the night by herself. She used to be able to; she used to be perfectly fine on her own.
But then Carmilla.
And the Tournament and the third task and the long, aching scar that was seared down her shoulder.
Laura sighed. In truth, she would be just fine on her own.
Laura could be just fine on her own for the rest of her life.
She knew that. She did, truly.
But Merlin, why would she want to be? Why would she want to face things alone if Carmilla could be there too? Why would she want Carmilla to have to struggle by herself if she could be by her side?
Why would she want to sleep alone if Carmilla could be with her?
Laura tried to clear her mind, calm her thoughts into something that at least was relaxing. If she couldn't seem to sleep, she should at least try and rest.
But every breath she took, she could still faintly smell Carmilla's perfume on the pillows. She could feel the way Carmilla's hair had slid between her fingers, taste the neediness their kisses had been filled with, hear her heart start pounding in her ears as she remembered how close they had been to…
Laura sat up, throwing her quilt off of her legs. She was suddenly much too warm.
Too warm and too alone.
Laura sighed, debating whether or not to try and lay down again or if she should just read in the common room until morning. As if in answer to her question, a quiet tapping came from somewhere beyond her bed.
Laura slowly opened her curtains, poking her head out into the softly lit room. She glanced to her left, toward the high window that just peaked out from under the earth to look out onto the lawn in front of the Whomping Willow.
Someone was taping on the glass.
Instinctively, Laura reached for her wand on her bedside table. Then, the window slowly pushed open.
Laura's heart shot to her throat. Someone was breaking into Hogwarts.
Someone was breaking into her room.
The dark silhouette started lowering themself through the narrow window, feet dangling against the curved Hufflepuff walls and scraping against the softly glowing moss.
Then, they fell right through and thudded rather unceremoniously on the carpet.
Okay, someone was breaking into Laura's room very badly.
Even still, Laura gripped her wand and slipped out of her bed. She tiptoed toward the slow moving person, palm sweating around the wood of her wand. She had just decided to use a body binding jinx, the words on the tip of her tongue, when the dark lump groaned.
Wait.
Laura knew that groan.
"Carm?" Laura hissed into the night.
Carmilla looked up, clearly startled she'd been detected.
"Laura?" She whispered, rolling over to get to her hands and knees.
Laura dropped her wand and flung herself at Carmilla, knocking the girl back to the carpet.
Carmilla laughed softly, her arms reaching around to hug Laura to her.
"Miss me, cupcake?" She murmured into Laura's hair.
Merlin, did she. Pathetic, honestly. She'd been apart from Carmilla for only a few hours and her chest felt like it was going to crack.
Whipped didn't even begin to cover how deep she was.
"Yes." Laura sighed, nuzzling Carmilla's throat with the tip of her nose. Carmilla hummed at the action, her muscles relaxing even against the floor.
They laid on the carpet for a few moments, Carmilla's hands running comforting paths up and down Laura's back, before her husky voice came in the dark.
"Bed?"
Laura nodded against her throat in response, her body already softening with sleep just from the few minutes tangled with Carmilla on the carpet.
Quietly, the two moved back to Laura's bed. Carmilla found Laura's wand and placed it back on her bedside table, making sure to tease her about attempting to hex an intruder instead of waking anyone. Then, the pair slipped under the sheets and retangled their bodies; legs intertwined, hands roaming just under the hems of shirts, lips softly pressing against one another's.
Carmilla pulled back after a few warm kisses, Laura chasing after her mouth. Carmilla's hand came up to cup Laura's cheek, her thumb brushing against Laura's bottom lip to signal her to stop.
Laura opened her eyes, focusing on Carmilla's face in the darkness.
"Is this…was this okay?" Carmilla whispered.
Laura's brow furrowed, confused by the question.
"The kissing? Of course. So okay with the kissing, more than okay, would prefer more of it actually." Laura was pressing close again but Carmilla ducked away, letting Laura's lips land on her cheek.
"No…" Carmilla murmured, her fingers brushing against Laura's temple. "I meant this; the sneaking in. Was that…was that too much? Should I have stayed in my dorm?"
There was something in Carmilla's voice that Laura couldn't name but it made her chest tighten; a fear or an insecurity, one that Laura couldn't find the origin for. But it was there, underneath the shaky questions, and Laura wanted it gone immediately.
She moved her hands up to cup Carmilla's jaw, tilting her head back so she could find her eyes.
"Carm…"
Carmilla shook her head, a small smile ghosting over her face. Laura knew she was trying to brush off her moment of weakness, but she didn't let her.
"I want you around all the time, remember?" Laura offered, her fingers winding around a loose curl of Carmilla's dark hair. She tugged on it lightly, earning a small, huffed laughed from Carmilla.
She nodded, closing her eyes and bringing her hand up to wrap around Laura's.
Something still seemed off.
Laura could feel it.
But Carmilla never liked to be pushed.
And while Laura would prefer to push until she demolished everything in sight, Carmilla already seemed close to shattering. Instead, she rolled Carmilla until the girl was on her back and flopped down on top of her.
Carmilla wheezed out a surprised breath before her arms wrapped around Laura's shoulders.
"We're done for other people, remember?" Laura murmured against Carmilla's shoulder.
At her words, Carmilla seemed melt into the mattress, her muscles unclenching and her breath softening.
Laura closed her eyes, her scar tightening, and focused on the rhythm of Carmilla's breathing to lull her to sleep.
--
Carmilla swayed back and for on her heels, hands fiddling with the end of Laura's scarf that hung loose around her neck. Her stomach was alight with nerves, each one piling on top of the next until it felt like her heart was going to crawl out her mouth.
She shouldn't be nervous. It was just a party. She could have fun at a party.
A party where no one likes you.
Carmilla grit her teeth, starting to pace in front of the worn barrels of the Hufflepuff passage. She had to do this; she had to prove to Laura that she fit. She could. She could hang with those ginger monstrosities and that dunce Kirsch and even some of her Slytherin classmates, if any were allowed in. She could. She had to.
For Laura.
As if Carmilla summoned her by thought, the barrels hiding the Hufflepuff entrance rolled away and out popped Laura. Perry and Kirsch were behind her, a few other 7th years following out, all pretending to tip-toe as if McGonagall didn't know there was a giant party planned for that evening.
Laura bounced over to Carmilla and flung her arms around her neck, hauling her in for a kiss. Carmilla was caught off guard, startled but not in the least bit upset by the sudden closeness. Laura pressed into her, her mouth instantly making their kiss deep and heady. Carmilla did her best to keep up, her knees weakening at one particular trick Laura's tongue could do, when she noticed it. She pulled away with a grin.
"Been into the firewhisky without me?" She teased, her hands circling around to land low on Laura's back.
Laura giggled, her cheeks prettily flushed pink from the alcohol. "Kirsch might have a bottle and perhaps I took a few pre-party swigs."
Laura rocked gently in Carmilla's arms, her eyes soft and a little unfocused. She couldn't seem to stop looking at Carmilla's mouth and Carmilla couldn't resist leaning in for another kiss.
"Oy! Snoggers! Let's go before Filch finds us bros in the hall." Kirsch's voice rang out through the corridor.
Laura laughed as she pulled away, slipping out of Carmilla's arms and lacing their fingers together.
"Ready to party, Miss Karnstein?" Laura asked as she walked backward, dragging Carmilla along.
Carmilla could still feel her nerves under her skin, the small flicker of fear that maybe she didn't quite fit in with Laura's life. But as Laura tugged her down the hall, her hands warm and soft in her own, Carmilla realized that maybe worrying was silly.
She'd gladly live her whole life wondering how she fit in Laura's world, so long as Laura wanted her in it.
--
Carmilla sipped the firewhisky, the mouth of the bottle so perfectly pressing against her lips. She took one gulp, then another, her neck long and milky as she swallowed. Laura watched her from across the Gryffindor common room, her hand tightening its grip around her mug of butterbeer. She watched enraptured as Carmilla pulled the bottle away from her damp lips, hot tiny droplets of liquor still staining her skin. Laura watched her toss the bottle back to Kirsch with a relaxed confidence, his dumbstruck face barely registering in Laura's mind.
She couldn't tear her eyes away from Carmilla's pink mouth.
Carmilla turned then, her eyes meeting Laura's across the crowded room, and Laura watched in a daze as Carmilla's tongue peaked out to swipe away the remaining firewhisky from her lips.
Laura couldn't take it.
She shoved her butterbeer into someone's hands, she didn't see who, couldn't see, could only see Carmilla. She marched across the common room, dodging Laf and Perry and maybe Danny but she couldn't be sure, because then she was in Carmilla's space and her mouth was against her's. She tasted like firewhisky and spices and that taste that was just her. Laura's hands swept into Carmilla's hair as Carmilla's came up to latch against Laura's shoulder blades.
They weren't close enough. Laura whined against her mouth, ignoring the infuriating chuckle she could feel ripple through Carmilla's chest. At the noise, she bit down softly on Carmilla's lower lip and the Slytherin gasped against her, making Laura's mouth bow up into a smirk. Carmilla pulled back a breath as she sucked in air, her lips still just brushing Laura's.
"Got a thing for whiskey, cutie?"
Laura smiled, grabbing Carmilla by her collar and dragging her to an abandoned couch by the tower window. She shoved Carmilla down onto it before climbing into her lap.
"Definitely when you're drinking it."
Carmilla laughed softly, her sharp cheeks reddening; from blush or the liquor, Laura wasn't sure. Carmilla's fingers tucked a loose tuff of Laura's hair behind her ear, her eyes soft and a hazy and little sad. Laura loved the pliable, melted version of Carmilla. But she had fire in her veins and wanted Carmilla so bad she thought she might break apart at the thought of touching her.
Laura's hand caught Carmilla's and slid it around to her back, moved it smoothly under her shirt to press against her skin. Carmilla's eyes widened, her chest heaving deep breaths as her eyes flit all over Laura's face.
Laura opened her mouth to speak, to tell Carmilla what she wanted, how much she wanted her, needed her; but then Carmilla surged upward. Her mouth found Laura's, her other hand slipping up the back of Laura's shirt, and Laura tried to keep her hips from rutting against Carmilla's as they pressed into one another.
They were still in the common room.
N.E.W.T.s were just about to begin, the Tournament had finally ended, and their Hogwarts career was coming to a close. Laura knew she should be spending time with her friends, reminiscing about all their adventures and finding out what everyone was doing after graduation. She should have wanted to take in every moment, visit all her favorite spots, and thank her teachers.
But Carmilla was panting beneath her in the corner of a secret seventh year party, her hands hot and her mouth hotter, and Laura could only think of how fast she could pull Carmilla into her room and finally, finally, have her way with her.
"Laura…" Carmilla groaned as Laura's mouth fell to suck against her jaw line.
Laura was having trouble controlling herself; they weren't alone, all their friends were here, but Merlin if Carmilla would just touch her…
"Laura." Carmilla's soft hands cupped her face and pulled her back gently.
Laura was panting, her own hands coming up to press against Carmilla's.
"We're in the common room, love." She breathed, her dark eyes still trained on Laura's mouth.
Laura glanced over her shoulder, her eyes flitting around the ruckus behind her. No one really seemed to be paying attention to them, but Carmilla was right. They were in the common room. Not exactly an ideal location to show your girlfriend how devastatingly, magically in love with her you are.
Laura sighed, turning back toward Carmilla and pressing her forehead against Carmilla's.
"You need to stop being so…so…" Laura huffed, shaking her head.
Carmilla gave a quiet laugh. "Could say the same thing about you. Never had a girl march across a room to plant one on me."
Laura could feel her ears light up. She really had been a bit determined.
"Remind me to keep firewhisky in the house." Laura murmured, tugging on the hem of Carmilla's shirt.
Carmilla's body stiffened beneath her, her dark eyes finding Laura's.
"House…?"
Laura's eyes widened, her mouth falling open to respond, her brain scrambling to explain what in Merlin's name that meant when--
"Hollis!"
Laf was suddenly behind the pair, tugging Laura off of Carmilla's lap with a 'We need another for Dragon Shots, Kirsch needs a partner, you can suck face later'. Laura tossed back an apologetic grin to Carmilla, but the brunette was staring off into nothing and Laura felt her chest tighten at the sight.
She hadn't exactly meant to imply that she and Carmilla were going to live together after school. But she also didn't not want to live with her. Laura's head was foggy and her body was still thrumming for Carmilla's skin. She turned back to Laf, letting herself be tugged to what looked to be a complicated game of Dragon Shots, with more rules than she'd ever played before, and decided to ignore the needling worry.
For the moment, she'd drink with her friends. Later, she'd press herself against Carmilla, and they'd tell each other they loved each other, and she'd find the courage to tell Carmilla she wanted to be with her forever.
--
Carmilla hadn't moved from the couch, her body frozen.
'Remind me to keep firewhisky in the house.'
Laura's words floated through her mind in a warm haze. She could scarcely believe her. Laura wanted her…wanted them, to live together? To be together beyond the convenience of their school, beyond the simplicity of winter holidays? She could scarcely let herself believe it.
Carmilla's heart was going to burst.
She loved Laura. Loved her in a way she didn't think was possible, was allowed in the dark world she had grown up in, but love her she did. She loved her so fiercely that it made her hands shake and her veins ripple beneath her skin.
Nearly twenty minutes had passed since Laura had been whisked off by one of the gingers. She was taking shots with a gang of them, Kirsch laughing as Laura coughed and patting her back in sympathy. Carmilla watched as Laura attempted to compose herself, her hand rubbing against her chest to sooth the heat of the alcohol.
Carmilla couldn't stop her feet then. She was up and across the room, nestling herself behind Laura to watch their game.
Laura seemed slightly startled to feel someone wrap around her, but soon relaxed into Carmilla's embrace. Her hands came up to play with Carmilla's fingers as she leaned back, turning her head to kiss Carmilla's cheek warmly.
"Took you long enough." She murmured, her words slurred and damp.
Carmilla bumped their noses together before letting Laura focus back on the game. She tucked her head against Laura's shoulder and watched as sparks flew out of Danny's red shot glass. Laura laughed, her fingers tightening around Carmilla's in delight.
Carmilla's eyes found Danny's as the rest of the players decided what the sparks meant for the rules, an argument suddenly breaking out between Laf and Kirsch. Danny's eyes were all ready trained on Carmilla, her glare hard and clear.
Instinctively, Carmilla tightened her grip on Laura.
Danny's eyes flashed with something, an emotion Carmilla couldn't name but for some reason had a burning desire to punch out of her, and then she was gone; Danny stood up abruptly, knocking over the fizzling shot glass as she went and silencing the bickering.
"Who spit in her pumpkin juice?" Laf asked, look around.
Carmilla shrugged, placing a warm kiss to Laura's throat. Laura sighed at the action, relaxing further into Carmilla's embrace.
"Bed soon?" Laura whispered, tugging on Carmilla's hand.
Carmilla felt the tension in her chest dissipate, her body unwinding.
Laura wanted her.
Laura still wanted her. Her heart surged painfully, joyfully, in her chest.
"We can stay with your friends as long as you want." Carmilla acquiesced. She disliked the ginger squad mostly, but Laura was so warm and pleased and she was helpless to deny her.
Laura turned in her arms, planting a sloppy kiss on her jaw that Carmilla assumed was meant for her cheek.
"I think you should take me to bed." Laura breathed dreamily.
Carmilla's pulse spiked. She took a breath, banishing the sinful images from her mind.
She met Laura's eyes. "If you're ready to sleep." She kissed Laura slowly, deeply, ignoring the annoyed sound effects from Laf. "But just to sleep." She clarified after.
Laura seemed confused at that. Before she could open her mouth to question, Carmilla cut her off quietly.
"I want you, not firewhisky."
Laura's eyes mapped Carmilla's face and then, slowly, understanding. Carmilla ached at the disappointment in her eyes. She leaned forward and captured the Hufflepuff's mouth in a warm kiss, in effort to wipe away the look.
As she pulled away, Carmilla slipped her hand under the hem of Laura's shirt, her fingers ghosting along her stomach.
"I want you to remember every bit of it. I want to remember every bit of it. I don't want to forget any part of you."
Laura's eyes cleared at her words. Her blazing smile broke across her face and she tugged the hem of Carmilla's shirt.
"You talk so good."
Carmilla laughed, standing up and tugging Laura up with her. The Hufflepuff wobbled on her feet a bit, but steadied against Carmilla.
"We're heading out." Carmilla announced, tucking Laura against her side.
The pair wandered toward the portrait without waiting for a response, Laura's head falling to rest on Carmilla's shoulder as Carmilla's arm tightened around her waist.
--
Laura couldn't stop looking at Carmilla's skin. It was so creamy and soft and how did it always smell so good?
"You all right there, creampuff?" Carmilla asked, slowing down.
Laura nodded vigorously, her body nearly tipping over from the motion. Carmilla chuckled and adjusted her grip around her waist, bringing them to a halt.
"Why don't we just take a minute before we walk any further then, yeah?"
Laura sighed, twisting in Carmilla's arms so she could face her. She closed her eyes, tucking her face into Carmilla's neck, and let out an soft sigh.
She would never get used to being able to be this close to Carmilla whenever she wanted. It was honestly unfair. It should have been impossible to love someone so much, yet it was like her heart wasn't even in her own body anymore. It was in Carmilla. It was completely hers. Laura smiled, the alcohol warming her veins and making her feel loose. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears as she pressed a soft kiss to Carmilla's neck.
Carmilla's neck.
"Weren't you wearing my scarf earlier?" Laura murmured.
"Damn it." Carmilla grumbled. She sighed and walked Laura backward while still in her embrace. Suddenly, Laura was sitting on a cool stone bench, looking up at Carmilla.
"I'm just gonna run back and get it." She said, leaning down and placing a warm kiss against Laura's cheek. In an instant, she was gone, trotting back to the Gryffindor common room.
Laura sighed happily, leaning back against the wall. She was content to let the firewhisky and butterbeer swirl around in her system until Carmilla returned.
It had been a few minutes, during which Laura would deny she fell asleep if asked but in truth may have dozed off, when the sound of footsteps came down the hall. Laura's heart thumped happily in her chest.
"Took you long enou-" Laura started before she was cut off.
"Laura."
Wait. That wasn't Carmilla.
Laura's eyes cracked open to see Danny Lawrence.
"Danny? Shouldn't you be back at the-"
Then Danny was moving fast, hauling Laura to her feet and closing into Laura's space. Laura's body froze, the booze and surprise mixing in her veins and sending her into paralysis. Danny was leaning down, her face inching closer, her eyes closed and her breathing hard.
Just as Danny's mouth was set to engulf her own, Laura snapped. Her arms flashed out, shoving Danny hard in the chest. The impact hurt the heels of Laura's hands and it seemed to catch the Head Girl off guard. She stumbled back, her hands dropping from Laura and moving to rub at where Laura had knocked her.
"What the hell are you doing?" Laura yelled, her voice echoing around the hall in a terrifying repeat.
Danny looked stunned, her eyes wide and her breath heaving. She shook her head, taking a step back toward Laura.
"Laura, I..."
"One more step and you lose a leg."
Laura's head snapped to her left.
Carmilla.
Carmilla's wand was out, Laura's Hufflepuff scarf hanging loosely over her shoulders, and she looked ready to start spilling Unforgivable curses without pause. Laura's head was starting to spin, confusion and whiskey mixing to make her dizzy. She sat back down on the bench and gripped the edge, willing the world to revert back into normalcy; to revert back to a time when she hadn't taken three shots and chugged a few butterbeers and Danny Lawrence hadn't tried to kiss her.
At Carmilla's threat, Danny's posture changed. She clumsily attempted to find her wand in her back pocket but Laura could see she didn't have it on her. Danny took an unsteady step toward Carmilla, her wobbling balance a tell of her inebriation.
"Go on then, Karnstein. Show Laura what you're made of. Curse me, hurt me. Then she'll see."
Danny's words were slurred but still sharp. Laura felt them like a dagger.
From Carmilla's face, so did she.
Laura watched as Carmilla's wand arm trembled, her eyes flashing to Laura; her dark irises were painted with worry, with fear. Laura's chest ached.
Danny struck a nerve, it seemed.
Even in her drunken state, Laura could see that.
Without word, Laura stood and strode over to Carmilla. Carmilla watched her as she approached, her eyes flitting back and forth between Laura and Danny. Once Laura got to her, she carefully laid her hand over Carmilla's left and helped her lower her wand. Her muscles were tense, not wanting to back down, and Laura watched as Carmilla's gaze fell to the floor in effort to avoid her own.
"Bed, Carm." She whispered into the uneasy silence.
Carmilla's eyes looked to her at that, still fearful and sad and all kinds of angry. It made Laura's heart ache.
Could Carmilla still be so unsure?
Sure, the Tournament had changed them. But they had come through it together, stronger and so, so in love.
And yes, they were graduating. But that wouldn't change things, would it? They'd still be together.
Wouldn't they?
Laura wasn't sure if it was the alcohol in her system or a sudden maturity responsible for her moment of clarity, but she was thankful for it.
"Come on, Carm. Please."
Carmilla seemed to snap out of it then, her far away gaze settling back in and focusing on Laura. She tucked her wand away and nodded, her dark hair falling to hide part of her face. Laura turned to Danny then, trying to keep her irritation from slipping into rage.
"Go to bed, Danny." She grit out, her hand finding Carmilla's.
Without waiting for a response from the drunk Head Girl, Laura led Carmilla away from the scene and back toward the Hufflepuff rooms. Her head was starting to pound and her face was flushed from the anger and the liquor.
As Carmilla trailed behind Laura, hand tight against her own, all Laura wanted to do was sleep; sleep and be with Carmilla. It sounded so simple.
It was, Laura thought.
For the rest of her life, Laura wanted to be with Carmilla.
The thought rang in her head, loud and sure, and as she and Carmilla slipped into bed that night, with Carmilla seeming so small and quiet and insecure, Laura was determined to spend the rest of her life doing it.
--
The days following the secret seventh year party were a mixture of stressful and tense.
N.E.W.Ts were in full swing, graduation was fast approaching, and Carmilla felt fear of her unknown future in every breath.
It took 48 hours before Danny Lawrence apologized to Laura for the almost kiss. Carmilla hadn't been there, but Laura had recapped it for her; the ginger giant mostly blamed the booze, but did admit she was worried for Laura ever since she'd been so hurt in the third task of the Tournament. Laura didn't seem to full accept the apology, though she'd told Danny she did. Carmilla could still feel her tense when Danny was nearby and hear the slight edge in her voice when they chatted over notes.
That night, when she had heard Laura scream at Danny in the corridor, had shaken Carmilla. She hadn't liked Lawrence before, but now she actively had to tamp down her anger at the bean stalk. It was one thing to insult Carmilla, one thing to dislike her and wish better for Laura; it was even one thing to have a crush on Laura.
But to put her hands on Laura, in any way, when Laura did not want them was another beast entirely.
Carmilla would never forget that. And she certainly would never forgive it.
Carmilla shook the thought from her head, her feet taking her to the library. She'd just finished her Transfiguration exam and was ready to collapse; she just wanted to tell Laura she was going to miss dinner.
However, after poking around in the stacks looking for her girlfriend and finally resorting to asking Laf, Carmilla discovered Laura had already retreated back to the Hufflepuff dormitories for the day.
It was how Carmilla found herself standing in front of the barrels of the Hufflepuff common room, debating how to get in; if she should get in.
Laura had been odd lately; she was tired from exams, certainly, but there was something off. Carmilla hadn't pressed about it, she didn't enjoy when people pried at her so she'd given Laura space, but she hadn't seen Laura since breakfast and it was unusual for her to slink off without warning. That was typically Carmilla's job.
"Okay." She murmured to herself. She'd seen Laura tap the barrels a hundred times. She could do this. She'd just tape them exactly like Laura did. The common room was used to her by now, it had to be for how often she traipsed through it. Surely it would let her in, if she could just remember the beat that---
Perry swept by Carmilla and drummed out the rhythm on the barrels with practiced ease.
"Come along, Carmilla." She said, without giving Carmilla so much as a glance.
Shocked, Carmilla scrambled into the hidden tunnel after her. She followed Perry, nearly tripping over her own feet in surprise. Then, Perry stopped short, almost causing Carmilla to crash into her. She turned, eyeing Carmilla for a moment before she seemed to make up her mind about something. She offered a smile.
"Laura always gets like this during exams. It's not you."
Carmilla was stunned. Was Perry...helping her?
"Oh." Was all Carmilla could muster. It seemed to be enough for the curly ginger.
"Well, I'm off. Just wanted to..." Perry considered the common room before leaning to snatch a soft yellow blanket from the couch. "Just wanted to get a blanket for the library. You know how drafty it can get."
Carmilla nodded slowly, afraid to shatter whatever was happening. "Right...drafty."
With that, Perry scurried off. Carmilla shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened. Lola Perry had helped her. Lola Perry had stopped her from worrying. Lola Perry had---
It clicked.
Carmilla smiled to herself, trotting down the tunnels to the bedrooms.
Lola Perry hadn't just been helping her.
Lola Perry was being her friend.
---
Laura woke slowly, her shoulder tight and aching to be stretched. She felt warm and relaxed despite its tension, her body instantly knowing why.
Carmilla.
Carmilla's arm was slung over her waist, her hand fisted in the fabric of Laura' over-sized shirt. Laura's fingers found Carmilla's and gently pulled them from the fabric so that she could turn over. After extracting herself from Carmilla's grip, Laura rolled over as softly as she could.
From the light filtering in around their bed, it was long past sunset. And from the fact that Carmilla was dressed in a sleep shirt of her own, Laura was convinced she must have napped much longer than she intended.
She settled on her side, facing Carmilla. She watched her sleep for a moment, her eyes trailing over her ivory skin and her dark, messy hair. Laura wanted to trace her fingers over her features, feel her bone structure beneath her fingertips.
N.E.W.Ts had been so much harder than Laura imagined. She'd never been an excellent test taker, but this onslaught of exams had taken it out of her. And she missed Carmilla. They were right next to each other, breathing the same air, and Laura missed her.
An idea popped into Laura's head.
She let her fingers wander up Carmilla's arm and gently shook the sleeping girl. Carmilla groaned at being awoken, but came to much more swiftly than Laura had ever seen. She blinked a few times at Laura, her confusion clear, before her expression relaxed and she pressed her face into her pillow.
"Cupcake, what time is it?"
Laura stifled a laugh at Carmilla's croaky voice.
"Late." She answered, pushing at Carmilla's shoulder so the Slytherin would lay on her back.
Carmilla allowed herself to be rolled, her eyebrows raising as Laura moved to hover above her.
"And what do you think you're doing?"
Laura's heart skittered in her chest at the drop in Carmilla's voice. She shook the blush threatening to creep up her ears and smirked.
"Think we can sneak out the window you so terribly snuck in through?"
Laura didn't know it was possible but Carmilla's eyebrows rose even higher.
"Why Miss Hollis, are you suggesting we break curfew?"
Instead of answering, Laura leaned down until her lips were a breath away from Carmilla's. She hovered there, testing her own willpower, and then suddenly rolled off of Carmilla and out of her bed curtains. She tip-toed to her trunk, rustling through it as quietly as she could in the silence of the night. As Laura was tugging on a pair of pajama pants, Carmilla's head popped out from behind the bed curtains, her brow adorably furrowed in frustration. Laura let out a breathy laugh as she chucked a pair of sleep shorts at her, which landed squarely on her face.
"Let's go, Carm." She whispered, snatching her wand from the bedside table and preparing to unlock the window above, giggling as Carmilla grumbled and tugged on her shorts.
--
One rather poorly done levitating spell later found Carmilla following after Laura across the Hogwarts grounds.
It was late, the moon high and the stars bright around them. It made Carmilla calm, despite the fact she had no idea what Laura was up to.
Laura's hand was intertwined with hers, their bare feet padding softly along the dewy summer grass, and Carmilla was just content to look at Laura in the pale moonlight. She was always beautiful, beautiful in a way that made Carmilla ache, but something about the night touched Laura and made her glow. Carmilla wanted to capture it somehow, paint it or write it or photograph it to keep with her always. But she knew nothing could compare to the real thing, to how Laura moved and breathed and shifted in that light.
Suddenly Laura stopped and Carmilla nearly walked into her.
"Give a girl some warning." She grumbled, squeezing Laura's fingers.
Laura didn't seem to care. She looked back at Carmilla and then nodded in front of them. It was then Carmilla realized where they were, where Laura had lead them.
They were by the lake.
The stars were reflected perfectly back at the sky, bleeding into one another in a giant abyss of black and burning and constellations. Carmilla felt her chest stutter. It was breathtaking.
"Ever been skinny dipping?"
Laura's question is what actually stole Carmilla's breath away.
"What?" She croaked out, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head.
"Skinny dipping." Laura said again, her hand slipping from Carmilla's and reaching for the bottom of her sleep shirt.
Carmilla's brain short circuited. She was dying. She had to be. There was no other explanation for Laura Hollis waking her to lead to her to the lake to skinny dip with her. The universe was not kind enough for that, Carmilla was certain. The Tournament taught her that.
Yet Laura was toying with the hem of sleep shirt and looking at her expectantly.
Carmilla tried to find her voice but her tongue was swollen. Or her throat was. Or maybe her brain was swollen and she was dead.
Then, at Carmilla's silence, Laura decided to move. She kept her eyes locked on Carmilla's, her pupils wide and dark and reflecting hundreds of stars. Laura pulled her shirt off slowly, revealing inch of beautiful inch of skin. Carmilla's breathing picked up, her chest nearly bursting with how fast her heart was hammering.
Laura's ribs came into view, her skin goose bumped and freckled. Then she tugged the shirt higher, higher, and Carmilla could feel blush blooming all over her face. Laura's chest was bare, her upper body on full display, and Carmilla couldn't even pretend she wasn't staring.
Laura was immaculate.
Laura's shirt hit the ground and Carmilla could barely breathe.
Her skin was milky and glowing, the moon kissing it with a reverence that Carmilla still didn't think was worthy enough. Her nipples were pink and hardening and Carmilla could feel the needy whine starting in the back of her throat.
The way Laura moved, how she dropped her top with a practiced ease, it ignited a spark in Carmilla that nearly brought her to her knees.
She wondered how many times Laura had done this before; who had been so lucky to see her this way. It made her skin prick sharply, painfully. There was a brief wonder if Danny Lawrence had been blessed with Laura's skin; if that Head Girl's badge had shone in some half light as this, and Carmilla couldn't stop her hands from reaching out and hauling Laura in before she should fully shed her pajama pants.
A small noise of surprise came from Laura before Carmilla kissed her, demanding and desperate. Carmilla's mouth swallowed the sound, her heart kicking up in her chest as Laura's body pressed against her. Carmilla's hands slid up Laura's back, feeling the muscles tense and tighten beneath her palms, her fingertips brushing against Laura's ragged scar along her shoulder.
The scar she got for Carmilla.
The scar she got to save Carmilla.
Carmilla froze for a moment, her heart thudding and her eyes pricking as if she was going to cry. Laura had saved her. The words rang true in her head. Even before the Tournament, even still after, Laura was saving her. She ghosted her lips across the mark, her tongue peaking out to taste her skin.
She couldn't understand it; Laura's skin was so soft. Even her scar, even that ragged broken part of her was so delectably soft. And there was so much of Laura available, her brain couldn't function; so much skin, so much warmth. Carmilla had touched her before, felt that same skin, but there was something more visceral of getting to look first.
Laura's fingers trailed along Carmilla's arms, lighting her up with shivers. They moved up to brush against her throat before tangling in her hair. Laura tugged and the pull on her scalp sent heat blooming low in her stomach, ricocheting all over her body. Merlin, how was Laura so good at this? Laura's body arched into her own and Carmilla stifled a whimper.
Laura's lips left her own, moving to nip at her ear lobe. Her teeth sank down onto the sensitive skin and Carmilla tried to silence the moan in her chest but failed.
"Unfair." Laura murmured, her teeth nibbling just below Carmilla's ear.
"What?" Carmilla panted, her hands unable to stop from running up and down Laura's muscled back. She couldn't focus. There was too much pleasure and they weren't even really doing anything.
In answer, Laura tugged at the hem of Carmilla's sleep shirt.
Oh.
Oh.
Carmilla's body switched into another gear at the implication. In an instant, she was out of her shirt and pressing back against Laura to finally feel what her naked skin felt like against her own. The sensation was too much, too good, and Laura gasped at the contact. Carmilla managed to guide Laura down, down, down, until they were laying on their discarded shirts in the soft grass, Carmilla's hands still holding onto her back as she did so.
She wanted to touch Laura so badly, touch her everywhere and all at once; she was almost paralyzed by how badly she wanted it. Then, Laura's mouth found her own again and she murmured against Carmilla's lips.
"Touch me."
Then it was flashes; Carmilla tugging Laura's pants down, Laura nearly ripping Carmilla's sleep shorts to get them off, their bodies slotting together like they were molded from interlocking puzzle pieces. Carmilla couldn't stop her hips from bucking into Laura as soon as their skin was touching, her blood sizzling and singing through her veins in a frenzy.
"Oh, Carm…" Laura panted, her hands dipping low to haul Carmilla's hips into her own even harder. Carmilla growled at the movement, kissing her way up Laura's neck.
She needed to touch her.
Now.
"Can I…?" Carmilla's question broke off into a whimper as Laura's thigh rubbed her just so.
Laura nodded, grabbing one of Carmilla's hands and pushing it down her stomach.
"Please."
Carmilla's heart thundered in her chest, Laura's breathing hot against her skin.
She couldn't just…there needed to be…
Carmilla stilled her hand as her lips slid up Laura's throat, trailing along her collarbone, and brushed against her marred shoulder. Laura gasped, her hand flying up to Carmilla's neck and holding her there.
"I love you." She whispered against the damaged skin, before she moved down Laura's chest.
Laura's breath hitched, her heart beating wildly just under where Carmilla's mouth was sucking.
Carmilla swirled her tongue against Laura's breast before glancing up. Laura's eyes were glazed, her face flushed. Every part of Carmilla ached for her.
"I love you too." Laura finally responded.
Carmilla's mouth slid over her right nipple and sucked hard.
Laura arched into her, her hands flying into Carmilla's hair and clutching almost painfully.
If the sounds pouring out of Laura's mouth were any indication, Carmilla was certain she should stay right where she was. In truth, she never wanted to move. She continued to suck and bite at Laura's breasts, moving from the right to the left after a few minutes.
"Oh…" Laura kept yelping, her hips flying up to try and find contact.
Carmilla didn't blame her. Her own body couldn't help but grind down to try and find something, anything, to tame the fire inside her. She was burning up, fire starting from deep in her stomach and growing outward until it engulfed everything.
"Please touch me, Carm." Laura sounded near tears as Carmilla's mouth pulled away from her nipple with a soft pop.
Carmilla caught her eye, nodded, and moved lower.
Her lips left trails across her stomach; sucking against her abs and biting near her belly button over a freckle that Carmilla couldn't stop her tongue from tasting.
How could Laura taste so good? Her skin was Carmilla's new favorite flavor.
Laura whined beneath her as Carmilla's hands swept down her body. If she didn't touch Laura soon, Carmilla as certain she was going to die. Laura must have been feeling something similar because suddenly there were hands in her hair, shoving her lower, lower until Carmilla was right where Laura needed her.
Carmilla let instinct drive her, her tongue flicking over and over against Laura as if it had a will of its own. Laura was panting above her, her grip nearly painful against Carmilla's scalp, but the pain made Carmilla moan; an action that had Laura's back bowing upward.
"Carm, please…"
Carmilla knew what Laura wanted, knew it desperately inside her very bone marrow. She slid her hand down, her tongue and mouth still working the swollen bundle of nerves that made Laura rut her hips, and let her fingers gently press.
The sound that came from Laura was guttural. The noise made Carmilla desperate to be right next to her, kissing her. In a flash, she was up Laura's body again, slanting her mouth over Laura's.
Laura's moans were high and close together as Carmilla finally slid a finger inside her. Laura's hands came to grip against Carmilla's back, her nails digging into her shoulders.
It didn't take much; months of wanting and waiting and desperate desire had Laura clenching around Carmilla's finger just as her thumb came up to swipe against her. Laura's breath stuttered, her head thrown back, and Carmilla knew then she had never seen anything so beautiful in her entire life.
She was certain she never would see anything more beautiful in her entire life.
She knew she never wanted to.
Her mouth fell to Laura's neck, peppering kissing all over the skin she could reach.
"I love you, I love you." She panted.
There was a long silence then, their breathing rough and ragged, and Laura let out a surprising laugh. Carmilla lifted her head to look at her; Laura's eyes were shining, filled with a joy she'd never seen before. Carmilla furrowed her brow at the laughter, wondering what that meant after what they had just done.
"I really did just intend for us to skinny dip." Laura said, her voice light and breathless.
Carmilla laughed then, her head falling to Laura's shoulder. Then, she was being shoved onto her back, Laura hovering above her with a delicious smirk.
"However, I like your idea much better."
Carmilla's breath hitched as Laura grinned down at her like prey, her hand slipping down her stomach.
--
Laura woke to a distinct soreness between her legs. Her heart thumped low in her stomach at the memory, fresh heat blooming in her body at the mere memory. She lifted her head from where it was resting on Carmilla's chest and giggled at the blade of grass sticking out of her dark hair.
Perhaps they hadn't been very thorough at tidying themselves up when they'd returned to the dormitories.
Laura reached up and plucked a few pieces from Carmilla's curls, collecting them in a small pile on the edge of the bed. She had the impulse to save them, little keepsakes of their first time together. Laura could feel her ears warming and she buried her face back into Carmilla's chest.
The motion caused Carmilla to mumbled, her hand moving to stroke through Laura's hair.
"Too early." She grunted.
Laura laughed and leaned up to kiss the frown on her mouth. Carmilla's nose crinkled but she made no move to open her eyes. She just sighed and snuggled further into the sheets.
Laura didn't mind. It gave her time to look at her, study her. Carmilla was always such a mystery to her; she still was if she was being honest. She had so many questions still, so many thoughts and wants and wonders. She wanted to know what Carmilla's were, what she dreamt of having, of what she desired for the future.
She'd spent her whole Hogwarts career puzzling about Carmilla.
And she realized, wrapped in warm sheets with Carmilla lips so close to her own, she didn't have to anymore.
"What do you want to do after school?" Laura asked, her voice soft in the early morning quiet.
Carmilla hummed, her eyes still closed.
"Dunno. What do you want to do?"
Laura felt her heart in her throat but answered honestly.
"Be with you."
Carmilla smiled, her cheeks pinking prettily.
"Well I guess that's that, then."
Blush ran to the tips of Laura's ears, her heart aching in a painfully good way.
Yeah, Laura thought.
That's that.