Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The Boston Raiders emerged victorious, 4-3, over Montreal, in a game that unfolded like an unforgiving marathon; brutal, relentless, and long enough to drain every last drop of energy from Ilya’s body. By the time the final whistle blew, his legs felt like lead, his head damp with sweat, and his mind was fogged by exhaustion. So when the clock wound down and the celebration began, both Ilya and Marleau silently agreed to skip the celebratory shots with the rookies; too tired to even contemplate the couple extra miles back to Marly's place. Instead, they turned toward Ilya’s apartment as their sanctuary.

"Thank fuck," Marleau murmured. "I’m beat."

A crate of beer was cracked open between them, the hissing pop of bottles joining the quiet hum of the apartment aircon as they slipped away for the brief solace of a shower each. When they emerged, refreshed in that sluggish, post-game stupor; the tension uncurling in their bodies- Marleau collapsed face first onto one end of the couch like a ragdoll, and Ilya, equally drained, slumped onto the other. The TV flickered with Fast and Furious, its sounds a low murmur in the background, turned all the way down to 2 after Marleau started talking in his sleep. Ilya, of course, found this much more entertaining than anything on the screen.

With his phone propped against his chest, Ilya scrolled through the highlights of the game. His eyes locked on the highlights clipped; he charged through Montreal’s defense with all the ferocity of a predator closing in on its prey. The recording of his own face on the screen caught him off guard- those cold eyes of his, sharp and unblinking, gleaming through his visor as they cut across the ice, piercing and calculating. Beautician, Marleau joked frequently. But as Ilya watched the footage, there was something about it that felt.. off. His movements were not beautiful. No, he was more like an untamed animal- wild, raw, and governed by pure instinct. Next to Shane- whose feet seemed to glide with perfect precision, Ilya felt like a beast in comparison, a creature of strength and ferocity to Shane’s elegant grace. His gaze shifted to the team huddled together in celebration, a dark swarm of black and yellow jerseys clashing in noisy solidarity.

And then, as if drawn by an invisible thread, his eyes were pulled toward the defeated Metros, lingering on them for just a moment. Shane Hollander moved through the defeated ranks like a shepherd tending to his flock. His helmet clinked against his teammates’ in a rhythmic pattern, each gesture soft, almost protective, as he patted them on their backs, ushering them off the ice with a quiet dignity. Such a softie, Ilya thought. Before Shane made his way down the exit tunnel, he glanced back at the Raiders’ huddle- an almost imperceptible look, a small, fleeting smile curving on his lips before it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

21:53 Ilya: You are injured?

Fuck. A weak and frankly desperate scrabble for some sort of conversation, but it’ll do.

22:07 Shane: What?

22:07 Shane: Also, good game. You played really well.

22:08 Ilya: You favour left side

22:08 Ilya: In game

22:11 Ilya: Are you hurt?

22:13 Shane: Not hurt! Lifted weird at the gym this morning. It’s just a little stiff. How did you even notice?

22:13 Ilya: Stiff? ;)

22:13 Shane: Pervert. Go away.

22:13 Ilya: Boring answer Hollander

22:14 Ilya: Tell me something

He chewed the string of his hoodie with a frown.

22:30 Ilya: Also you played good too.

22:30 Ilya: Always a pleasure to play with Shane Hollander

22:33 Shane: Hold on. Just got to hotel

22:33 Shane: Actually wait

22:48 Shane: Attachment: 1 video

The thumbnail of the video was pointed at Shane’s socked feet, blurred with the motion of him walking on the plain laminate hotel room floor. Strange, Ilya thought. This isn’t how they’d usually start these late night escapades. Shane’s voice was barely above a whisper, and thick like honey. Gravelly, yet sweet and syrupy; and exhausted from a whole day of yelling in the rink. It pooled into Ilya’s headphones with a warmth that buzzed into his jaw.

“Okay, um- hi.” “I thought I’d show you a little tour of sorts,” Ilya leaned closer to his phone. “Cause something really fucking annoying happened in the fucking carpool back.”

The accented ‘tour’ followed by the string of curses cracked a fond smile out of Ilya- because of course, only Shane Hollander could make something so foul sound so polite and beautiful. Ilya’s mind flickered through all of the ‘fuck you assholes’ he had grumbled his way through his pretty pursed lips, the ‘fuck offs’ he laughed into the pillows as his hands swatted Ilya’s bare chest- the stuttered and shy ‘fuck me, please, Rozanovs-’ God, he was so filthy but so beautiful.

Ilya shuffled closer to the wall, glancing over to a sleeping Marleau. Drool ran down the side of his mouth, one arm folded lazily across the back of his head, mostly dead to the world bar an occasional smack of his lips. Yet Ilya was still worried that the sound from his obnoxiously expensive headphones would bleed through and his best friend would rise to the sound of Shane Hollander’s angelic whispers like some sort of sleeper agent.

“I just got to the hotel, and my bag has been swapped with J.J’s.”

He fumbled with his hoodie string, settling for putting it back between his teeth as he got himself comfy. There was a gentle scuffle of his feet and an occasional exhale heard as Shane made his way through the hotel room.

“I have to be kinda quiet cause Hayden’s sleeping next door and these walls are really thin,” Shane demonstrated by putting his phone close to the wall beside his bed, letting out a whispered giggle that caught Ilya’s breath. The muffled sound of Hayden’s irritating fucking snoring filled his headphones, and synced with Marleau’s for a brief moment.

“Um, I know I don’t normally send videos like this but I can’t be bothered to type right now- I’m sorry, i-if it's like, long or anything. You can delete it, after. Should, probably. Not cause I don’t want you to have it, but like, you know- ugh, sorry, I’m rambling now.” Shane settled the phone down, propped up against the back of the gross hotel cuck chair; and Ilya let out a muttered ‘блять’ as the man finally came into view.

Shane’s face was slack and sleepy. He always looked softer once his games were over, even the ones he didn’t win, like a weight on his shoulders had finally dropped. Still in his post game clothes, the fabric clung faintly to him- and Ilya found there was something comforting about seeing him look so relaxed. His hair was damp at the edges, curling faintly at the nape of his neck with sweat. It fell messily across his forehead, unbothered now, no longer held meticulously in place for the public eye. Freckles splattered auburn across his cheeks and nose. His glasses sat slightly crooked, nudged up his nose with exhaustion, which he seemed to notice- straightening them with a sheepish smile. Behind them, Shane’s eyes were heavy-lidded, tired in a satisfactory way that detailed his hard work today.

Ilya wanted to trace his face with the tips of his fingers. An overwhelming urge to touch him, to gnaw at him- run his lips across the freckles that sat so adorably on his face and to watch his eyes shine with an admiration that Ilya couldn't bring himself to acknowledge just yet. He looked so warm and soft, and Ilya’s chest burned with a declaration of I think that I love you. You are so, so beautiful. I want you to keep me. I would do anything for you if you asked. It made him feel sick. Curled somewhere beneath his ribs and pressed inwards- fluttered like a panicked bird thrashing in its cage, wings beating frantically against bone, it was too much, too alive, all sharp edges and desperate movement, clawing for a way out that Ilya refused to give. “Ты идиот,” he muttered under his breath, but the words did nothing to settle it.

“JJ isn't answering me, so I’m gonna go through his stuff for something I can maybe sleep in.” Shane hauled a duffel bag out of frame towards him and Ilya tried his best not to look at the shirt slipping up his torso. He showed off the bag like it was treasure, a mischievous grin on his face and his tired eyes glinting with mischief that Ilya wondered if anyone else got to see on him before.

“Okay Mr Boiziau. What do we have…” He whispered. Ilya felt a shiver ripple through his shoulder blades and pool in his lower back. The familiar, soothing cadence and the husky sound of his voice was wearing Ilya away; he felt gooey and disgusting and, though he’d never admit out loud, had no interest in changing it. “Okay- deodorant.. Nice, I would really hope so.” He pulled out the can with two fingers like it was a biological hazard, rustling in the bag further to pull out a soft mint coloured Polaroid.

“Polaroid camera? That’s.. Kinda cute, actually. I wonder what he takes pictures of, cause I’ve literally never seen him take this out before.” Shane wrinkled his nose. “Maybe I should stop rooting through his stuff. I feel bad.”

Shane continued to root through the bag and pulled out a handful of loose polaroids. Ilya watched the man’s face drop from a fondness for his friend into sheer horror, then embarrassment.

“Wow. Wow! Oh! Okay, um- okay wow. Well,” Shane said, flustered, mouth snapping open and shut like a fish. “I found out what he’s doing with the polaroid.” A soft blush crept onto his face, onto the apples of his cheeks that his glasses sat on. He looked so adorable. Ilya wanted to eat him. Already mentally drafting his response of “You want? We try next time, malysh, you can keep it.”

“Whatever he’s doing I hope my bag doesn’t get involved.” Shane said weakly.

Shane rustled through the bag, finding a pair of “okay thank fuck, these are brand new” boxers and holding them up with the same victorious smile he had post victory. “Well I found what I was looking for. And more.. I’d show you but that would just be mean… to her,” he laughed, and it was the most beautiful thing Ilya had ever heard. Fuck. “I don't expect you to reply to this cause I know you’re probably out celebrating your win, so I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight, Rozanov.”

And when the video ended, Ilya felt sleepier than he had all day. He hit the play button once more, settling into the couch on his side. If he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough Shane Hollander himself was perched right next to him, whispering straight into his ears; gentle and soft enough to melt Ilya into a puddle. He allowed himself a small, private smile at the idea. Only because he was so boring, of course. And besides, Hollander had a relaxing voice.

Fuck. He thought, as his eyes drooped shut. I am so fucked.

—

Marleau startled awake, arm shooting up instinctively to clutch at the couch cushion so as to not fall off entirely. Wiping a line of drool from his mouth, he blinked slowly at the room, trying to gather his bearings. Rozy’s house. Too tired to go home. Beer. Right. Got it. His phone? He fumbled around the cushions in the dark, sweeping it with his hands until he knocked into both his phone- thank fuck- and straight into something warm and fleshy.

“hfuck offhhh,” it mumbled in its sleep, barely coherent- and Marly realised he could see Rozanov’s sleeping face lit up from his own screen.

It had never occurred to Marleau until this moment that Rozy was actually really cute. Hot, sexy- sure, he had seen that man prowl on girls at bars with his devilish lopsided grin and watched sweat bead off of that man’s perfect body more times than he could count. In a straight way, of course. Like, as bros. Marleau could agree that Roz was arguably a very handsome man. But with a little smile on his face and his eyelashes fluttered shut, Marly thought he looked freakishly adorable. As bros. Of course.

He also then realised- holy shit. Rozy was smiling in his sleep. He had literally never seen Rozanov sleep so soundly before, and he gawked at the little smile curled up on his lips and the- you’re fucking kidding, the blush across his cheeks. He had seen Rozanov asleep many times, curled into his hoodie on the plane, or passed out on the floor after too many drinks. But he had always slept with his signature scowl, never smiling, not in his sleep. Not like this. And better yet, this looked like his Jane smile. Marleau raised one eyebrow at the phone that still blared light into the Russian man’s face, and drew up a plan before his morals could object. If that really was Jane, Marleau could finally put a face to the woman, the myth, the legend.

“Roz?” Marleau tested. Rozanov did not respond, not even a hitch in breath as the man huffed into the couch cushion.

Marly felt like the Pink fucking Panther with how stealthy he tiptoed over. He leaned over and peered into the sea of curls, at the back of the phone loosely intertwined in his long fingers. Fuck. Couldn’t see it from here. He leaned over Rozanov, heart in his mouth, and reached down.

“Marly. Go and lie down.”

Rozanov’s voice was somehow both soft and ice cold. His face didn’t even react, and honestly that was scarier. Marleau’s mouth parted, then closed, then parted- before a scoff spluttered from it.

“I wasn’t- I was just- me? I-”

“Go and lie down Marly. Don’t touch my phone.”

And he did. What else was he supposed to do? Marleau walked right back to his end of the couch and lay back down; feeling much like a scolded child. But at least the small, blurry glimpse he got of Roz’s phone as he shuffled around gave him enough information. Jane was Asian, and wore glasses, maybe? That’s what it looked like, at least. She was wearing something black. That was literally it, but Marleau shut his eyes feeling oddly giddy with this new revelation as he allowed himself to fall back asleep.

“Give me ten minutes. I drive you home,” Rozanov grumbled. The familiar pissy scowl was back on his face, but he didn’t look any more angry than he normally defaulted to.

“Sorry Roz.” Marleau said sheepishly. “Just nosey about Jane. I won’t do that again, swear. I didn’t even see her face.”

“Is ok. You are nosy, I will make you pay in bag skates. Yes?”

Damnit. Deserved, he supposed. “Yeah, I deserve that. I’m sorry bro.”

Chapter Text

Marleau was a bad friend. Or, just a really good nosy friend; he couldn’t really decide which one. The hurried glimpse of Jane that he had seen on Rozanov’s phone was gnawing at him for weeks. Then months. She was real; not that he ever thought that she wasn’t going to be- but it was weird to acknowledge that there was a real person on the receiving end of Rozy’s sudden bashfulness.

It was bothering Marleau, just a little. It was bothering him that he and Roz shared everything; the same girls, the same drinks- they bickered over the stupid whispered gossip between the rooks and they didn’t hold back on each other when they rewatched game tapes. But Jane was just different, and Roz simply wouldn’t let him in on it and honestly, it was making him a little jealous. Marleau had had girlfriends before, sure- but nothing that left him feeling giddy and soft the way Rozanov seemed lately, or lingered into the late hours of the night like this seemed to. Marleau wasn’t a bad person. He was soft in the centre, a man of little words and big actions; and even though he was a little thick-skulled and honestly a little slutty he always meant well. But seeing Roz swoon over Jane made him want a girl who he could love softly as well as fiercely; take her on cute dates and talk about their day and hold her hand; as well as nights out with his knee pressed in between her thighs and his mouth on her neck. Or someone that challenged him and broke the jolly frat-bro facade he always plastered on so thick. A Jane, if you will.

And then one night at a club with far too many tequila shots, Rozanov was practically paralytic, slumped over the booth as he babbled incoherently. The boys had gone out to celebrate a win against the Admirals in a shitty New York bar; and decided to celebrate in their favourite way- which of course, meant getting hammered beyond belief. Music blared, its bass rumbled through the floor and into their jaws and Marly was too drunk to care how much it was hurting his head.

“Marly call cab?” A question that in no shape or form sounded like one in Rozanov’s blunt, slurred cadence.

“For sure, you’re wasted. Let’s get an Uber.”

“I will go see Jane.” Rozy’s big blue eyes blinked at him and Marleau swore he looked 10 years younger for a split second.

“Dude, I think she’d throw up just smelling you. Also we’re in New York.”

“Go fuck yourself Marly.” But still he complied, long legs spilling out of the booth and swaying clumsily towards the door.

“Use my account Marly, is shit rating already. I say this because I will throw up in car, yes?”

Honestly, Marleau found that to be a weirdly sweet sentiment despite the warning. Rozanov tossed his phone Marleau’s way. “Great.” The notification popped up as soon as the phone touched Marleau’s hands.

11:34pm Jane: You deserved that win. :)

Marleau decided it was a message within a literal message. He promised he would only overstep just one more time, sent a silent prayer to his family and his team just incase he was caught, and sent Jane’s contact over to himself before deleting the evidence. His heart felt like a bullet in his chest and he swallowed, hard, as if Rozanov’s weird psychic abilities would kick in once more and he would say ‘Marly, go back to bed. Forever this time.’ and-

Rozanov snored softly against the man’s shoulder. His hands twitched and jerked like Marleau’s cat used to when she was deep in sleep; and he remained completely dead to the street they were crouched on. The stumble back the hotel was humbling- after practically tucking the man into bed, Marleau lay in his own, thumbed at his phone- finding himself deep in a weirdly sober train of thought considering the amount he knocked back not even two hours ago.

12:25am Marleau: hi

12:25am Marleau: im a friend of rozanovs

12:30am Marleau: plz don’t tell rozy

12:36am Jane: Why are you texting me?

12:36am Jane: Who is this?

Fuuuuuck. He immediately realised how creepy this probably looked.

12:37am Marleau: oh

12:37am Marleau: is this not montreal jane?

12:38am Marleau: im sorry

12:38am Jane: What?

12:38am Jane: How did you get this number?

12:38am Marleau: im sorry

12:38am Marleau: i didn’t mean to scare u

12:38am Jane: Who are you?

12:39am Marleau: my name is cliff

12:39am Marleau: um i play with roz

12:40am Marleau: we play hockey

12:42am Marleau: sorry u probably know that

12:42am Marleau: lol

12:47am Jane: Yes I know who you are, Marleau.

12:47am Marleau: lol my bad

12:49am Jane: It's ok. Is Rozanov okay? Why did you text me?

12:50am Marleau: sorry i feel so creepy

12:50am Marleau: i just wanted to get to know u

12:51am Marleau: wait not like that

12:51am Marleau: i love roz

12:52am Marleau: well also not like that

12:52am Marleau: just like he talks about you alot

12:52am Marleau: and it makes me sad to not know my best friends girl

12:58am Jane: That’s sweet of you. I appreciate it

12:58am Jane: There’s not much to say really. I’m not his girl. We just hook up sometimes.

1:00am Marleau: well yeah but he’s whipped on u

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message.

1:05am Marleau: dont tell him i said that

1:05am Marleau: or that im even speaking to u

1:06am Jane: Your secret is safe with me lol.

1:08am Jane: Is he ok? You didn’t answer that bit.

1:08am Marleau: oh shit yeah sorry

1:08am Marleau: he’s fine

1:08am Marleau: passed out drunk af

1:08am Jane: Lol. I bet

1:09am Jane: You guys deserved to celebrate! That was a good game.

1:09am Marleau: u watch the games?

1:09am Marleau: dang

1:12am Marleau: i hope i don’t sound like an asshole saying this

1:12am Marleau: but do you watch it for the hockey? or for roz

1:15am Marleau: both is totally valid btw

1:15am Marleau: no homo

1:16am Jane: I watch it for the hockey. You need to tell your right wing to stop overextending, by the way. Number 32. It cost you like, two goals.

1:16am Marleau: holy shit

1:16am Marleau: ur right

1:16am Marleau: wtf ur a secret hockey whiz

1:16am Marleau: i’ll remind roz when we go through game plan

1:16am Marleau: sorry i didn’t mean to sound like a dick

1:16am Marleau: i didn’t assume u knew nothing about hockey just cuz ur a woman

1:17am Marleau: i was just curious

1:17am Jane: That’s ok, Marleau.

1:17am Marleau: dang it must be so nice to talk proper hockey to eachother

1:17am Marleau: roz has it good fr

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message.

1:19am Jane: Look I have to go to sleep. I have an early work thing tomorrow.

1:19am Jane: But I won’t tell him you messaged me.

1:19am Jane: And it was nice meeting you Cliff.

1:19am Marleau: marly

1:19am Marleau: just call me marly

1:19am Marleau: ok im glad i didnt look like a mega creep

1:20am Marleau: have a nice night jane!

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message.

Chapter Text

9:32pm Jane: Well played tonight, Marleau.

10:20pm Marleau: why thank you jane!

10:20pm Marleau: always such a tough game against hollander man 

10:21pm Marleau: ur a metros fan surely? with being from montreal and all 

10:25pm Jane: My family are very loyal to the Metros, yeah.

10:25pm Marleau: ahhhh but you aren’t?

10:27pm Jane: Eh, it’s complicated.

10:27pm Marleau: well hollander is a fucking beast this season 

10:27pm Marleau: i always joke roz is a beautician but that man is like sex on ice 

10:27pm Marleau: no homo 

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message.

10:30pm Marleau: honestly he scares me a little

10:30pm Marleau: that guy is locked in more than i’ve ever seen anyone be

10:30pm Marleau: heard he doesnt even really party 

10:30pm Marleau: just straight hockey 

10:33pm Jane: Is that bad?

10:33pm Marleau: nah he seems nice 

10:33pm Marleau: just a hockey machine 

10:39pm Jane: Maybe partying just isn’t really his thing?

10:35pm Jane: Idk I’m just guessing 

10:35pm Jane: Because I have no idea.  

10:39pm Marleau: honestly jane i didn’t really think about that 

10:39pm Marleau: that would suck if all ur bros are party animals tbh

10:39pm Marleau: it would also suck to be in this industry and not like to party

10:39pm Marleau: now u got me feelin bad for shane hollander lol 

10:46pm Marleau: are you going to be busy with my rozy tonight? 

10:47pm Jane: He asked, but I’m not sure? I feel bad. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t hang out. 

10:47pm Marleau: jane

10:47pm Marleau: if he asked hes going lol

10:47pm Marleau: dont say no thinking he’ll come party instead. he’ll just sulk the whole night 

10:47pm Marleau: booooringggg

10:47pm Marleau: bag skates for all of boston

10:47pm Marleau: :((((((((((((((((

10:48pm Jane: Hahaha okay. Fine :) 

10:48pm Jane: Thanks for being chill about things

10:48pm Marleau: janey janey jane

10:48pm Marleau: he is always so happy after a night with u

10:48pm Marleau: him seeing u is not just a treat for u two

10:48pm Marleau: its making our lives easier

10:49pm Jane: Thanks :) 

10:58pm Jane: How did you know I was from Montreal?

10:58pm Jane: You called me Montreal Jane.

11:03pm Marleau: hahaha thats ur nickname around here

11:03pm Marleau: rozy always says hes going to see uwhen we’re in montreal 

11:03pm Marleau: so we just figured u lived there

11:27pm Jane: He talks about me?

11:27pm Marleau: all the time 

11:27pm Marleau: jane this jane that

11:28pm Marleau: only this amount of days till i see jane

11:28pm Marleau: cant go out tonight boys im going to go see jane

11:29pm Marleau: which is why i wanted to get to know u 

11:29pm Jane: Right.

10:21am Marleau: i have some questions for you

10:24am Jane: Why?

10:24am Marleau: no that’s not one of them

10:24am Marleau: if u could be any animal what would u be

10:25am Jane: What?

10:25am Marleau: i’m trying to get to know u without asking any questions that would make u uncomfortable

10:29am Marleau: don’t judge it’s a good character read 

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message.

10:34am Jane: Okay but you first.

10:34am Marleau: see i could be rlly egotistical and say lion but that’s a lame one 

10:34am Jane: I’m surprised you know what egotistical means

Marleau reacted 😂 to your message.

10:34am Marleau: JANE GOT JOKESSSS

10:34am Marleau: but hey fuck u hahaha 

10:35am Marleau: yeah no not a lion 

10:39am Marleau: i think i’d be a dog. i’m just kinda happy to be wherever 

10:39am Marleau: plus all their energy is like mine but for hockey 

10:39am Jane: I can see that for sure.

10:39am Marleau: ur turn 

10:44am Jane: Maybe a penguin? I’ve never really thought about it

10:44am Marleau: penguins r sick 

10:44am Marleau: they’re like crazy fast in the water 

10:47am Marleau: did u know penguins have knees 

10:47am Jane: I didn’t. How on earth did you know that

10:47am Marleau: LOL i googled it 

10:47am Marleau: yay now u can be Jane 🐧

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message.

12:06pm Marleau: okay next question

12:06pm Marleau: where would u run to in an apocalypse 

12:06pm Jane: Wow

Jane is typing…

12:09pm Marleau: is that a lame one 

12:14pm Jane: I would say my parents' cottage. It’s in Ottawa so its more secluded than my apartment Montreal would be, so the chance of getting swarmed with the zombies is less. There’s a pharmacy not too far down the road to the cottage so I could raid that if I needed too and then they planted some vegetables in the backyard not too long ago so I guess I’d have a head start in that. I guess the only problem with the cottage is that it’s got really big windows. So maybe if I boarded up the windows it would be a little safer cause I don’t know how zombie logic works, idk if they’d see me through the windows or how strong they are so I wouldn’t want to risk them like smashing all the glass cause the glass is like 60 percent of the living room wall. How strong are they? Are they fast? Maybe I’d stay in Montreal if they were a little more scarier cause I’d have the height advantage of my apartment. 

12:15pm Jane: Oh wow, sorry. I rambled.

Marleau reacted ❤️ to your message.

12:16pm Marleau: jane ur awesome

12:16pm Jane: You’re not so bad yourself Marly. 

12:16pm Jane: What about you? 

12:16pm Marleau: i would go to my grandmas place 

12:17pm Marleau: it’s in oregon so idk how much notice id have in the zombie world to get there in time 

12:17pm Marleau: but id worry about her 

12:17pm Marleau: plus she has like chickens and fresh water 

12:17pm Marleau: and a lake that freezes over in winter so i could still skate 

12:18pm Jane: That’s really sweet.

12:18pm Jane: I feel selfish now lol I didn’t think of protecting anybody 

12:19pm Marleau: hey it’s every man for himself 

12:19pm Marleau: and woman 

12:22pm Marleau: sorry 

12:22pm Marleau: my grandma is just the exception

12:22pm Marleau: you’d wanna drop everything to protect her in an apocalypse too if you met her

12:22pm Marleau: she makes the best apple and cherry pies 

12:22pm Marleau: so fuckin good 

12:22pm Marleau: plus even though she’s like 75 she’s KILLER at yahtzee 

12:27pm Jane: I cant believe Cliff Marleau is a secret Grandma's boy

12:27pm Jane: Who would have thought

12:27pm Jane: And here you are saying you feel bad for Hollander not wanting to party.

Marleau reacted 😂 to your message.

12:27pm Marleau: hahaha ur right

12:27pm Marleau: maybe i should invite hollander to my grandmas house for pie and yahtzee 

1:05pm Jane: Something tells me he’d weirdly enjoy that.

Rozanov had kicked his shoes on and was out of the door long before Shane emerged from the shower; which had left a pool of something bitter in the back of his throat. They had fucked, slow and gentle and cradled eachother for a fleeting moment as they caught their breaths- something that Rozanov would do on the days he wanted something softer or when he wanted to play pretend just a little longer. He always stayed to say goodbye on those days, and yet Shane found himself alone in his apartment. 

The sheets still smelled like him, too. Sharp detergent undercut by the smell of their sweat and cigarette smoke that lingered stubbornly in the fibers. Shane stood there for a moment, fingers hovering over the rumpled duvet so as not to burn his fingertips, as if it were the cigarette Rozanov held between his lips on his way in. Then he stripped it all away in one abrupt motion, bundling the evidence into his arms, jaw tight. 

Shane noticed Ilya even straightened his shoes for him on the way out before slipping on his own. In the kitchen, the fridge light filled the empty space, pale and unforgiving much like the indifferent buzz it hummed. Rows of things he had bought with intention and then abandoned, yogurt cups aligned with quiet precision. Cut fruit going soft at the edges. A carton of eggs he no longer trusted, even though the date etched in the cardboard said otherwise. Shane reached in, shifted something, then something else, like the right arrangement might kick him into action and eat. It didn’t, of course- his stomach twisted in on itself, a complaint he answered by closing the door a little too hard so the contents rattled. Silence followed, thick and waiting.

Rozanov would have eaten. He would have stood barefoot on the tile, door still open, picking at whatever was there without thinking too hard about it. Shane could picture it with irritating clarity- the ease of it, the lack of ceremony- he moved through spaces like they belonged to him and as if nothing could sour in his hands. 

Shane dragged a hand over his damp hair and leaned his forehead briefly against the cool metal of the fridge. He wondered, not for the first time, where Rozanov had gone. Not geographically. That part was obvious to Shane- probably another apartment, another set of sheets and another body to fold himself into. The thought burrowed into Shane uninvited and settled somewhere under his ribs, dull and persistent but he didn’t push it away. He rarely could these days.

Back in the bedroom, the mattress was bare now, exposed in a way that he resonated with enough to feel uneasy. He tugged on a clean fitted sheet, smoothing every crease until the surface looked untouched. It felt right. It felt like erasing something, even though he knew it always did little to soothe him. Nothing about Rozanov was ever that easy to get rid of.

On his nightstand, his phone lit up briefly- some notification, probably meaningless. Shane didn’t check it. If it was Rozanov, he could wait and if it wasn’t, it didn’t matter. The quiet after he left was always the worst part of their plans. Not so much the actual leaving, but knowing every single fucking time it would end like this. Rozanov always left and there was always a horrible space where Rozanov had once been. Shane pressed his lips together hard enough to hurt. He wasn’t supposed to want more than this; and he knew that, he really did. They had never said it outright, but it lived in everything unsaid between them. In both the way Rozanov never stayed, and in the way Shane never asked.

He lay back finally, staring up at the ceiling. The clean sheets smelled like nothing at all.

1:05am Marleau: janeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy

1:05am Marleau: is rozy with u?

1:24am Marleau: janeeeeeee

1:31am Jane: Hello Marleau.

1:31am Jane: No, he just left.

1:31am Marleau: whttttttt! y dosntf he stay the night?

1:32am Marleau: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:32am Jane: I told you, we’re not like that. 

1:34am Marleau: :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

1:34am Marleau: so ssad

1:37am Marleau: hes not answeirngft 

1:37am Jane: Just text it. He’s probably driving and listening to music so he wont answer.

1:37am Jane: If it’s urgent enough he’ll call back.

1:38am Jane: Or interesting enough lol

1:45am Marleau: u da BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shane trudged out of bed uncomfortable. He forced himself down the stairs and back into the empty kitchen- back into the fridge- and refused to leave until he picked something out of it. A lone pomegranate was snatched from its shelf and slammed onto the counter.

Knife in hand, he stared at the messages on his phone until the words jumbled themselves together and looked weird on his screen. They already did look fucking weird on his screen. Cliff Marleau singing his praises and checking in on him like a buddy was bizarre. 

Marleau had opened the door for Jane and Shane had stepped through instead, and as the door slammed shut behind him Shane found himself standing somewhere he shouldn’t be. Jane stood there between them, light and unchallenged and somehow everything Shane wasnt; Marleau seemed to understand her without friction as if she was so simple. Marleau reached out assuming he’d be met halfway and left a complicated warmth that Shane didn’t recognise- not directed at himself, not like this. 

The pomegranate burst unkindly, akin to blood spatter; and Shane did nothing but watch it drip down the countertop as he wondered if it had a fate more sour than he did. 

Chapter Text

9:38pm Marleau: would u wanna be?

9:41pm Jane: ?

9:41pm Marleau: his girl

9:42pm Jane: What?

9:45pm Jane: Oh.

9:45pm Jane: It’s complicated, Marleau. 

9:45pm Jane: Aren’t you supposed to be celebrating your win?

9:45pm Marleau: nah i went back home

9:45pm Jane: Is it the shoulder that you definitely bruised after that nasty check 3rd period 

9:46pm Marleau: jane noo u sound like my mom 

9:46pm Marleau: i didnt realise u were watching

9:46pm Marleau: but yeah it really fuckin hurt man 

9:46pm Marleau: cant lift past my chest

9:46pm Marleau: and then team doc said i cant drink tonight just incase

9:46pm Marleau: fuck the brooklyn scouts

Jane reacted 😂 to your message.

9:48pm Jane: One night without drinking

9:48pm Jane: How are you gonna cope? 😔

9:48pm Jane: It looked like it hurt. Are you okay?

9:49pm Marleau: jackass

9:49pm Marleau: but yea im okay

9:49pm Marleau: just bored

9:53pm Marleau: dont swerve my question

9:53pm Marleau: i have plenty of time for whatever long convoluted answer ur gonna give me

9:54pm Jane: Honestly I don’t have one.

9:58pm Jane: We’re just casual. We haven’t really talked about stuff like that

9:58pm Jane: I don’t really think we ever will 

10:00pm Jane: And it wouldn’t work because of our work and our friend groups and stuff anyway. 

10:03pm Marleau: why?

10:03pm Marleau: what do u do for work

10:03pm Jane: I can’t really say, sorry lol

10:04pm Jane: But it would just be like

10:04pm Jane: Idk. 

10:04pm Jane: A problem 

10:04pm Jane: For both of us.

10:05pm Marleau: okay im getting it

10:06pm Marleau: so ur in the hockey world then

10:06pm Marleau: or atleast the sports world

10:09pm Marleau: actually sorry i dont wanna pry 

10:09pm Jane: It’s okay. 

10:15pm Jane: Can I be real

10:15pm Jane: I don’t think he wants something like that from me anyway

10:15pm Jane: Even if we could

10:16pm Jane: Like I’m not sure we’d work 

10:18pm Marleau: it works enough for him to keep checking his phone for ur reply

10:18pm Marleau: it works enough for u guys to keep seeing eachother

10:18pm Marleau: am i wrong?

10:19pm Jane: We’re different in lots of different ways

10:19pm Jane: It’s fun but I don’t think we’d work doing anything more than what we’re doing now

10:19pm Marleau: okay thats fair

10:24pm Marleau: what did u mean when u said ur different?

10:48pm Jane: Nothing

10:48pm Jane: I didn’t mean it like anything weird 

10:51pm Marleau: i wont judge u jane 

10:51pm Marleau: im not like that 

10:57pm Jane: I think I just don’t really fit in the circles around me very much 

10:57pm Jane: Like Rozanov is always saying I’m boring cause I don’t really mingle with the same people he does 

10:57pm Marleau: he calls u boring? wtf? like is he teasing?

10:57pm Marleau: cuz if not that’s really not ok

10:57pm Marleau: well idk maybe ur into that  

10:57pm Marleau: if it helps i think u seem really interesting jane 

10:58pm Jane: Marleau you would hate me if you knew who I was. For sure LOL

10:58pm Marleau: don’t say that 

10:58pm Marleau: u can’t make that assumption on my behalf  

10:59pm Jane: Yeah that’s fair. I’m sorry.

10:59pm Marleau: lol don’t be 

10:59pm Marleau: so canadian lol 

11:03pm Marleau: so he calls u boring? does it hurt ur feelings? 

11:04pm Jane: Nah it doesnt hurt my feelings. Just more like he’s not really wrong tbh

11:04pm Jane: I know I’m different to other people

11:06pm Jane: Um to other girls

11:06pm Jane: But I’m stuck between having people change in order to accommodate me and having to change in order to accommodate people. 

11:09pm Marleau: wow that’s like

11:09pm Marleau: a really intellectual way to put it 

11:09pm Jane: You keep surprising me with words that are more than two syllables 

Marleau reacted 😂 to your message.

11:10pm Marleau: jackass

11:10pm Marleau: i mean it tho. i hadnt thought about it like that

11:10pm Marleau: but it’s wrong 

11:12pm Jane: It’s wrong?

11:12pm Marleau: yea 

11:12pm Marleau: cause i’m not accommodating u 

11:12pm Marleau: are u accommodating me?

11:13pm Jane: Not really? Atleast in a conversational aspect 

11:13pm Marleau: gonna pretend i understand what that means

11:13pm Marleau: but see?

11:13pm Marleau: we’re having a good conversation just fine 

11:13pm Marleau: ur fun to talk to 

11:18pm Marleau: sorry i hope i don’t sound sleazy i’m honestly pumped to be ur friend jane 

11:18pm Marleau: i’m not friends with many people outside of the raiders

11:18pm Marleau: and they’re fuckheads 

11:21pm Jane: Me too. I’m pleasantly surprised you’re also not a fuckhead 

11:21pm Jane: :)

11:21pm Marleau: i can be sometimes

11:22pm Marleau: i think that’s a problem of mine 

11:22pm Marleau: u told me a confession so ill tell u one 

11:22pm Marleau: i get girls all the time but honestly they scare me 

11:22pm Jane: You’re scared of girls.

11:23pm Marleau: this was a vulnerable moment jane i’m inconsolable now and it’s all ur fault 

Jane reacted 😂to your message.

11:23pm Marleau: not like scared 

12:33pm Marleau: i talk to girls like its nothing

12:33pm Marleau: OMG not like theyre nothing

12:33pm Marleau: i just mean like its easy they love me

11:23pm Marleau: but i can’t do anything out of one night stands and shit 

11:23pm Marleau: had a girlfriend maybe like twice but it wasn’t anything other than consistent sex

11:23pm Marleau: i just feel like i dont rlly click with them 

11:23pm Marleau: but im also not really looking so it could also be my fault 

11:24pm Jane: Is that something you want?

11:24pm Jane: A relationship? 

11:24pm Marleau: i wouldn’t mind it 

11:24pm Marleau: i’m not gonna die without one but it would be nice to go home to the same face  

11:25pm Marleau: and like be friends whilst also being in love yk?

11:25pm Marleau: u?

11:32pm Jane: I don’t really think about it to be honest. My life has been my job longer than I can remember 

11:32pm Marleau: are u happy with that?

11:35pm Jane: I think so 

11:35pm Jane: I’m really fucking good at it lol.

11:35pm Marleau: i bet 

11:35pm Marleau: hockey knowledge whiz job whiz smart whiz 

11:36pm Marleau: but are u happy not being in a relationship then? 

11:36pm Jane: I guess so? 

11:37pm Jane: I think I’d just like to be on the same page with someone.

11:37pm Marleau: that makes total sense 

11:37pm Marleau: and ur not greedy for asking for that

11:38pm Marleau: u know that right?

11:38pm Marleau: roz is a player

11:38pm Marleau: but that’s not an automatic green light for him to play u 

11:38pm Marleau: yea?

11:40pm Jane: Yeah. Thanks :)

12:32am Jane: Hey Marleau?

12:32am Jane: You’re a great guy. Any girl is lucky to have you. 

Marleau reacted ❤️ to your message.

3:14am Marleau: thx janey janey jane :)

Chapter Text

8:43am Marleau: heads up roz is so bitchy today 

8:43am Marleau: cuz it’s montreal today probably 

8:43am Marleau: coach lectured him for ages about our game plan 

8:44am Marleau: wanna hear?

8:44am Jane: No!

8:44am Jane: Fucj

8:44am Jane: Sorry

8:44am Jane: No thank you. I don’t want to know 

8:44am Jane: Makes watching it more fun  

8:47am Marleau: oh ok heard 

8:47am Marleau: dang so ur like a diehard then lol 

8:47am Jane: Yeah sure

8:47am Jane: Don’t send me game plans yeah?

8:47am Jane: Or anything your average hockey viewer would not know 

8:48am Marleau: ohhhhh i get it now 

8:48am Marleau: ur with the metros!

9:31am Marleau: jane? 

9:47am Jane: What did you mean by that?

9:47am Marleau: omg u totally are

9:47am Marleau: im not gonna tell anyone

9:49am Marleau: chill 

9:49am Marleau: do u do like HR? or like socials? or something 

9:49am Marleau: no actually ur super serious. are u like medical? 

9:49am Jane: Secret. 

9:49am Jane: But something like that. Just please don’t send me shit like that yeah?

9:50am Marleau: okay i’m sorry janey

9:50am Marleau: but yeah heads up roz is a megabitch today

9:51am Jane: When is he not?

Marleau reacted 😂to your message

9:51am Marleau: LOL

9:51am Marleau: Roz just asked who I was laughing at  

9:52am Jane: Say Hayden Pike

9:52am Marleau: yea u must want me dead or something 

9:52am Marleau: not cool jane

9:54am Jane: Go do your bag skates 

9:54am Marleau: yes ma’am

9:57am Marleau: but one question  

9:57am Marleau: if u could be any celebrity who are u most like

9:57am Marleau: i’d be like

9:57am Marleau: Ryan Gosling

9:57am Marleau: cuz i’m chill

9:58am Jane: Ryan Gosling? 😭

10:01am Marleau: shut up 

10:01am Marleau: sorry

10:01am Marleau: answer my question

10:02am Jane: Maybe Hollander

Shane bit his lip and fought back the way his stomach lurched. Fuck. Maybe a little too on the nose? 

10:02am Marleau: wow u answered that with like no thought

10:03am Marleau: honestly i can see that 

10:03am Marleau: u have the same vibes 

10:03am Jane: You think so?

10:03am Marleau: yea. ur both very serious but like not in a bad way

10:04am Marleau: and smart

10:04am Marleau: ok that’s a good choice i feel like i know u a little better

10:04am Marleau: he’s probably better at hockey than u though

10:05am Jane: Doubt. 

He exhaled a shaky laugh. Thank fuck Marleau was so stupid. 

Tonight, Shane moved through the rink as though he understood exactly where it would give and where it would hold. He was different today, carried a new range of excellence- that bled through as a shift in the way he carried himself. Not unnoticed by the adoring crowd who seemed to chant just a little louder- but nor was it anything showy, simply a new fire lit underneath him that felt like it had started to burn into his padding. 

The puck came to him and stayed, never quite leaving his reach as he practically cradled it in his grasp. Boston never played easy. The mass of black and yellow closed in- dark shapes drawing near, intent on breaking the rhythm he’d found- but he slipped through the gaps they left behind and adjusted without hesitation, as though their gruff movements only fuelled his own.

There was always a moment where everything aligned. Always a fraction of space opening that Shane seemed to feel before it fully formed, and always one he recognised as an opportunity. So, he took the shot without second-guessing himself. The puck struck, rebounded, and for a second it hung loose in front of the net- a second long enough for Shane’s cocky grin to falter only just so. 

But he was already there to meet it; the follow-through being much messier, fought for rather than shot with ease like he had planned, but it didn’t matter. The puck crossed the line, and the sound arrived a heartbeat later.

His teammates practically climbed him, gloves knocking against his helmet and the boards rattling with the surge of bodies- and Shane didn’t even sneak a glance at Rozanov’s defeated face; simply basked in the jeers and claps on his back that his teammates showered him with.

“You’re the fuckin man, Hollzy.” Hayden panted, hair wet from his shower. “You coming for drinks?”

Shane chewed the inside of his lip. “Fine,” he eventually mumbled, taking his lip back between his teeth so as to hide his bashful smile.

Hayden gawked at him, frozen- clutching at the shirt scrunched in his hands. “He’s coming out boys!” He yelled to the locker room, and they erupted into cheers louder than they had on the ice. 

“Is it just me, or was Cliff Marleau trying to smile at you today? It was bizarre, bro.” Hayden was pink cheeked and sipping happily on a cocktail that looked way too sugary, swatting the hands away that teased his flamboyant drink choice. 

“I didn’t notice,” Shane answered honestly. The beer he was nursing was lukewarm now, and felt sickly in his mouth. Still, he pulled it between his teeth, letting the warmth spread across his chest. 

“He kept looking at you like this,” He demonstrated an awkward polite smile before pulling his flushed face into one of mock horror.

“Do you think he wants to be friends or something? Capitaine, you think he has a crush?” J.J slurred, waggling his eyebrows as he blew messy kisses. 

“Shut up J.J. Does it look like we’d get along? That guy is hammered everywhere that isn’t the rink.” He quipped, nose wrinkling with a little pang of guilt as a snort erupted from the men beside him. His phone buzzed softly in his pocket. 

10:02pm Marleau: fuckin metros man they killed it

10:02pm Marleau: ughhh

10:12pm Jane: You played well!

10:15pm Marleau: yea yea yea liar

10:15pm Marleau: i need to get wasted with a montreal chick 

10:15pm Marleau: met a girl at the club yesterday

10:16pm Marleau: this morning i asked her if she wanted to see me after the game

10:16pm Marleau: she said she’d think about it

10:16pm Marleau: she just texted me she’s busy

10:16pm Marleau: what am i doing wrongggggggg

10:19pm Jane: Did you sleep with her?

10:19pm Marleau: well yeah obviously

10:19pm Jane: Did you guys talk?

10:20pm Marleau: not much

10:20pm Jane: Then I feel like the answer is right in front of you

10:21pm Marleau: do u and roz talk?

10:21pm Jane: Low blow

10:22pm Marleau: lol blow

10:22pm Marleau: no but seriously im curious now

10:22pm Marleau: do you talk?

10:23pm Jane: It’s different for us

10:23pm Marleau: ur always saying its different

10:23pm Marleau: ur different we’re different

10:23pm Marleau: if u tell me it might not be as different as u think 

10:24pm Jane: Very valid point.

10:24pm Jane: We are both busy with work. So we don't have alot of time together

10:24pm Jane: So why talk? 

10:24pm Marleau: okay but u text? 

10:27pm Jane: We sext

10:27pm Marleau: no normal convos?

10:27pm Jane: Not ones that aren’t suggestive I guess

10:28pm Marleau: so see? its not so different than what i do with girls everyday

10:28pm Marleau: u and i arent so different. maybe we need to try normal convos with ppl more  

10:28pm Marleau: u should try asking one of my questions 

10:28pm Jane: I’m not gonna ask Rozanov where he’d go in a zombie apocalypse. 

10:30pm Marleau: try it.

-

11:14pm Ilya: Four Seasons room 1507

11:14pm Ilya: Your Lily is so lonely tonight ;(((  

11:15pm Shane: Cant

11:15pm Shane: I’m out with the boys

11:17pm Ilya: The boys

11:17pm Ilya: Who are you and what have you done with Shane Hollander

11:17pm Ilya: I’m hearing this right? 

11:18pm Shane: Yes

11:18pm Shane: Why do you have to be such a dick about it

11:18pm Ilya: I’m not, just surprised is all

11:21pm Shane: Go party with Marleau

11:21pm Ilya: Jealous of Marleau are we?

11:22pm Shane: Ha

11:30pm Ilya: So you will not see me tonight?

11:33pm Ilya: I might die

11:37pm Ilya: Of broken heart

11:39pm Ilya: It’s breaking right now actually

11:48pm Shane: Not tonight. Sorry

11:48pm Shane: I was overdue a night with them

11:48pm Ilya: Don’t drink too much

11:48pm Ilya: Little pomidor

11:49pm Shane: Fuck off

12:01am Ilya: I will be in bed if you change your mind

12:09am Ilya: So sad and lonely…

12:21am Ilya: What is number for emergency services in Canada

12:34am Ilya: For my broken heart

12:46am Shane: 911 idiot

12:46am Shane: Call them if it gets bad xoxo

-

1:30am Marleau: just thinking about ur hypothetical job with the hypothetical montreal metros 

1:30am Marleau: no wonder ur a secret 

1:33am Jane: The hypothetical Metros are real 

1:34am Jane: A very real team you LOST to today 

1:41am Marleau: jane why do u hate me so much 

1:41am Marleau: ur on my tombstone 

1:41am Marleau: so hurtful u almost successfully swerved the question 

1:41am Jane: There was no question?

1:43am Marleau: ok gaslighter

1:43am Marleau: oh nvm ur right i didn’t send it

1:43am Marleau: ok so like 

1:43am Marleau: is that why u guys are a secret? cuz i think we wouldnt rlly care if u were a metros fan 

1:44am Marleau: connors gf still likes admirals lol 

1:44am Marleau: i mean there’d be teasing but we wouldnt care 

1:44am Jane: Mmmm yeah but its not just that.

1:44am Jane: I would tell you if I could but I can’t

1:46am Jane: Sorry.

1:46am Marleau: are u guys like cousins 

1:47am Jane: ????

1:47am Jane: How did you even get to that conclusion??

1:47am Marleau: u didn’t say no 

1:49am Jane: No. We are not cousins.

1:49am Jane: It’s not just because of the Hockey team mess. It’s just also that we’re different

1:51am Jane: And we’ve never agreed to be a “thing” anyway

1:51am Jane: So even if I was a die hard Boston Raiders fan I would still not be telling anybody anything. 

1:53am Marleau: yeah but i honestly do think u guys could be if that’s what u wanted 

1:53am Jane: Marleau. Let's just leave it yeah?

1:53am Marleau: sorry

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message. 

Shane was drunk. He hadn’t meant to drink this much, either. It started as something casual, just a round for the winning team and he could even stop by Rozanov’s on the way home, if he wanted to.

So he had the one drink, then another pressed into his hand before he could refuse it, and then another; and then soon came the quiet, dangerous absence of anyone paying close enough attention to stop him.

The pavement felt uneven under his feet, and he shifted subtly with each step, stumbling like a baby deer that had never stepped foot on Montreal concrete before. This was unfamiliar. Not the drinking itself- he’d done that many times before, celebrated wins with bottomless shots and beer. But being the last one standing; the last one drinking, long after everybody had gotten their rides home- this was unfamiliar. 

Shane exhaled slowly, breath visible in the wintry air, and reached for his phone. The app took longer than it should have to load, or maybe his hands simply didn’t move the way he expected them to. Either way, he requested the ride with more focus than it should have required. 4 minutes away, it read.

Shane slipped the phone back into his pocket, then immediately second-guessed it, pulling it out again just to check, and to watch the little car icon drive closer to him that approached somewhere beyond his current understanding of distance. He dragged a hand over his face, pressing briefly at his eyes until colours spotted the corners. Everything remained slightly off-center, tilted just enough to be uncomfortable. 

Somewhere in the distance, a car turned onto the street. He watched it approach, not entirely certain if it was the right one until it slowed in front of him. Even then, he hesitated for a fraction too long before stepping forward, mumbling a “for Shane?” to which the man nodded, reassuringly enough for him to get in. 

Shane’s head hit a pillow. He didn’t even remember getting into his apartment. His shoes were off, but his t-shirt stayed stuck to his sweaty body. 

3:14am Shane: hi

3:31am Ilya: You are awake very late.

3:31am Ilya: Nice time?

3:32am Shane: You're awake!

3:32am Shane: yay:)

3:33am Ilya: Yes.

3:34am Ilya: Home?

3:34am Shane: yesssssss

3:36am Shane: Question

3:42am Shane: Where would you run to in an apocalypse 

3:42am Ilya: Hollander

3:42am Ilya: You sound like Marleau

3:43am Ilya: Infact he has asked this exact question

3:44am Shane: What was ur answer? :0

3:50am Ilya: You’re cute, Hollander. 

3:52am Ilya: I’ll tell you another time.

3:55am Shane: I’m not cute

3:56am Ilya: You are.

3:57am Shane: Did you bring anyone home tonight ?

3:57am Ilya: Why are you asking me that? 

3:58am Shane: Not really sure

3:58am Shane: sorry

4:01am Ilya: No, I didn’t. 

4:02am Ilya: I don’t see anyone in Montreal. Unless they’re Jane

4:10am Shane: Really?

4:12am Ilya: Yes.

4:12am Ilya: Are you in bed, Hollander?

4:13am Shane: Yes

4:13am Shane: Want to call? ;))))))))))

4:13am Ilya: How about if you go to sleep now, I’ll call you in the morning.

4:14am Shane: But I can’t I have to drive down to Ottawa :( 

4:15am Ilya: You have Bluetooth? 

4:15am Shane: yes

4:16am Ilya: I will call in the car, yes?

4:16am Shane: We never do that

4:17am Ilya: You don’t want?

4:17am Shane: I want

4:18am Ilya: Good. Me too. Go to sleep. 

4:19am Shane: Okayy

4:19am Shane: goodnight Rozanov :)

4:23am Ilya: Goodnight Hollander. 

4:21am Jane: best wingman EVER

4:21am Jane: Ur the best Marly

Chapter Text

“Marly do you love me?” Rozanov was up eerily early, bustling in their hotel room with just his tracksuit pants on and a toothbrush that jostled lazily in his mouth. 

“More than anything my sunshine buttercup” Marleau said; not even taking his eyes off of his phone, engrossed some shitty action movie he forgot the name of.

“So much you will pack my bag?” Rozanov pulled his head through his shirt with a pout. 

“Bro you’re such a dick. If you’re going down to the lobby, I want a croissant. And only then will I think about packing your bag.” 

Rozanov flipped him off, practically skipping out of the room with his phone in hand. 

4:21am Jane: best wingman EVER

4:21am Jane: Ur the best Marly

8:33am Marleau: it’s diferent she says 

8:33am Marleau: we’re casual we don’t talk to eachother 

8:33am Marleau: wtf is he calling u this early in the morning for then 

8:34am Marleau: thats not casual. LIAR

8:34am Jane: I asked him your question 

8:34am Jane: You know what he told me 

8:34am Jane: “Marleau asked me the exact same one” 

8:34am Jane: Didnt wanna give me any new material?

8:34am Jane: Dick 

8:36am Marleau: ok true i should have provided a wider selection for u 

8:36am Marleau: but clearly it worked cause hes calling u at 8am !!!!!!

When Rosanov returned 30 minutes later, he was smiling. Not his usual smirk, not his shit-eating grin- an honest to god sweet smile that brought forward the apples of his cheeks. 

“Marleau my baby, you packed!” 

“Captain orders yeah,” he replied with a wink. Then, because Roz was in such a good mood,

“Good call with Jane?” 

Rozanov’s eyes widened for a brief moment, before his face washed over with his usual calm collectiveness. 

“Yes. She gets so feisty in the mornings for me Marly, is tragedy.”

“Right. So you talked her through it outside? In the hallway? Sounds unlikely.”

“No, she was driving. I just told her to have a safe ride.” the ‘r’ curled in his mouth with his accent and he winked. 

9:13am Marleau: safe ride huh 

9:13am Marleau: dont sext and drive

9:13am Marleau: horndog

9:14am Jane: I pulled over!

9:14am Jane: And now I’m using the voice to text thing while I drive Send

9:14am Jane: It was weirdly really nice. He was respectful. Send 

9:15am Marleau: thats good!! send

9:15am Marleau: so u finally had a conversation ;) ? send

9:15am Jane: Yes. And it was really nice. 

9:15am Marleau: and that was all because of my questions send

9:16am Marleau: ur welcome send

9:16am Jane: Stop making fun of me pass hole

9:16am Jane: Asshole

9:16am Jane: Stupid car 

9:17am Marleau: im not making fun of u wdym? send 

9:17am Jane: I pulled over to send u this 

9:17am Jane: 🖕🏼 

9:17am Jane: Send

Marleau 😂 reacted to your message. 

9:18am Marleau: jokes aside im really happy for u

9:18am Marleau: so does this mean u guys are more than casual ;) 

9:18am Jane: Nope

9:18am Jane: Still casual 

9:19am Marleau: boring

9:19am Marleau: so what did u guys talk about then ;) 

9:19am Jane: I don’t kiss and tell Marleau  

9:22am Marleau: fair enough

9:22am Marleau: send

9:22am Jane: 🖕🏼

9:23am Marleau: did u pull over for that one too

9:23am Jane: Yeah.

Marleau grinned and slid the phone into his pocket. "Hey Roz?"

"What."

"Where the fuck is my croissant?" 

Chapter Text

11:30am Marleau: its my birthday next month 

11:37am Jane: I know. 

11:37am Marleau: im gonna have a party the weekend im back in boston

11:37am Marleau: what do u think? 

11:37am Jane: Are you asking for help planning a party?

11:38am Jane: Because I’m the last person you want to ask

11:38am Jane: Also you’re planning this early

11:42am Marleau: i dont have alot of downtime jackass so im trying to do it now 

11:42am Marleau: i just have a sneaky feeling ur gonna be in boston that weekend too 

11:42am Marleau: so i was wondering if you wanna come 

11:44am Marleau: and u seem like the type of girl who likes alot of notice

Jane reacted ❤️ to your message.

11:49am Jane: Why would I be in Boston?

11:49am Marleau: because the metros have a game that weekend 

11:51am Marleau: am i wrong? ;) 

11:51am Jane: Shut up. I can’t just attend a Boston Raider’s birthday party 

11:52am Jane: And what would Rozanov think?

11:52am Jane: That’s his circle of friends and I’m not his girlfriend. I keep telling you this

11:54am Marleau: ur not, but ur my friend too now jane

11:55am Marleau: the team is coming ofc

11:55am Marleau: told the boys they can bring whoever they want

11:55am Marleau: couple old friends and all of their friends

11:55am Marleau: but bc metros are playing boston same weekend

11:56am Marleau: was gonna tell them they’re welcome to come 

11:56am Marleau: do u think thats weird?

11:57am Jane: Not really. 

11:57am Jane: Comeau had you guys over last year when you were in Montreal, and it was fine.

11:57am Jane: Just got a bit rowdy 

11:58am Marleau: yeah ur right

12:04pm Marleau: wait how do u know that

12:04pm Marleau: were u there?

12:11pm Marleau: SEE im right

12:18pm Jane: No I didn’t go

12:18pm Marleau: i tried to hit on literally every woman there that night

12:18pm Marleau: im glad u werent there roz would have killed me 

12:19pm Jane: LOL

12:34pm Marleau: so my party? :) 

12:34pm Marleau: if i invite the metros u can attend as jane

12:34pm Marleau: instead of rozy’s +1 

12:42pm Jane: Send the address and I’ll think about it, yeah? 

Marleau ❤️ reacted to your message.

-

7:14pm Marleau: back in loserville

7:14pm Marleau: sry autocorrect i meant montreal

7:17pm Marleau: recommendations for a good pizza spot?

7:23pm Jane: Funnily enough there's a chain in Montreal called Boston Pizza

7:23pm Jane: And it’s actually not that bad lol 

7:24pm Marleau: LOL NO WAY

7:24pm Marleau: going to boston pizza tonight

7:26pm Marleau: review pending

7:30pm Jane: Haha enjoy.

7:30pm Marleau: u with roz tonight?

7:31pm Jane: No, he said he was out with you guys

7:31pm Marleau: oh

7:33pm Jane: He's not with you?

7:33pm Marleau: no

7:33pm Jane: Then he'll probably be out with some girl

7:33pm Marleau: sorry jane

7:35pm Jane: Why?

7:35pm Jane: I don’t care, promise 

7:35pm Jane: I told you we’re not like that

7:38pm Jane: Let me know your thoughts on Boston Pizza

7:38pm Jane: I could kill for a pizza right now

7:38pm Marleau: why cant u?

7:39pm Jane: I'm just on a diet that's all

7:44pm Marleau: these girls and their diets

7:44pm Marleau: u girls are worse than hockey players

Jane reacted 😂 to your message.

-

11:20pm Marleau: BOSTON PIZZA WAS SO GOOD

11:22pm Marleau: defo because its BOSTON pizza

11:22pm Marleau: that shit was so good

11:22pm Jane: What did you get?

11:24pm Jane: Used to go there when I was a kid and get the pepperoni

11:25pm Marleau: bbq meat 

11:25pm Marleau: extra large

11:41pm Jane: Fatass

-

“Cliff Marleau is having a party in his condo, and he wants us to come.” Comeau scoffed, peeling the sweaty undershirt off of his body. The locker room was thick with sweat and defeat.

“Seriously? Is that some kind of power move or something? What, you win a game and invite them to your party as a consolation prize?” Hayden face feigned a mock-outrage as he ripped his padding off.

“I think it will be fun, les Américains know how to party, atleast,” J.J shrugged. 

“It’s not a power move, Comeau literally did the same last year. And you enjoyed it.” Shane quipped- untying the laces of his skates. Sweat dripped off of his hair and splattered onto the floor and he wiped it into the concrete with his foot.

“Uh huh. And how do you know that? You didn’t even go,” Hayden replied, a teasing elbow deep in Shane’s rib. 

“Cause you wouldn’t shut up about it the next day. Plus Drapeau kissed one of the Boston WAGS and had to issue a formal statement, so I had to find out what happened that night anyway.”

Drapeau and Comeau high-fived somewhere behind him. “Well we’re gonna go,” Drapeau muttered. “No promises on that not happening again.” 

“It better not,” Shane sighed. “What about you two?”

J.J and Hayden glanced at eachother before they both shrugged in unison.

“Don’t see why not, Capitaine. Rozanov will be there and I might get him drunk enough to start a fight.”

Marleau: have u given my party any thought

Jane: It’s only been a week

Jane: And seriously? You just finished a game and that's your first thought

Jane: You probably haven't even showered yet

Marleau: a week is a satisfactory amount of time to form a decision no?

Marleau: and i did shower thank u very much

Jane: Must have been the worlds quickest shower

Jane: Bet you didn't even wash your ass

Jane: It’s a maybe. Metro boys seem excited though

Marleau: jackass

Marleau: also haha no way

Marleau: i will patiently wait as your maybe turns into a yes

Chapter Text

7:48pm Ilya: You are going to Marly’s party?
7:48pm Ilya: Is going to be big party
7:48pm Ilya: Lots of drunk Metros who cannot handle American party life. I bet you are cute drunk 

7:53pm Shane: I'm not sure if I'm going yet.
7:53pm Shane: Maybe I'll let you find out ;) 

7:54pm Ilya: I am going.

7:54pm Shane: Yeah, I figured. 

7:54pm Ilya: Please can you come? 
7:57pm Ilya: I would like it
7:57pm Ilya: To see you there

The message sat on Shane’s phone longer than it should’ve, the screen dimming once, then again, as he blinked at his reflection. He read it over the scrape of his carry-on the pavement, then once more as they boarded, low murmur of teammates laughing at something in the distance barely audible over the plane’s engine roar. The words didn’t change each time he looked.

Please can you come? 

Ilya never uttered the word ‘please’. He took, he demanded, boldly, and assumed that Shane would mould himself iinto the shape Ilya needed. He never softened into something as careful as please. If anything, Ilya’s want usually arrived with clothes ripped off, stripping down to one's bones, all instinct and heat and impatience, like he resented the very idea of needing anything at all.

And so this message sat on Shane’s phone like a bomb, feeling foreign in a way he couldn’t quite reconcile. He tried to picture Ilya typing it out- pausing, backspacing and deleting something a little more honest. The thought of it was absurd.

Shane pressed his lips into a thin line. Because this is just what Ilya fucking Rozanov does. He leaves openings just wide enough for Shane to step into, then shifts ever so slightly so Shane never quite knows where he’s standing. And Shane goes every time- that’s the part he understood least about himself.

I would like it. To see you there.

Shane huffed out a quiet, disbelieving laugh under his breath, though there’s no humour in it. Because what is he supposed to do with that?

Ilya will turn up to the party like nothing’s out of place. He’ll drink, maybe more than he should; but it’ll never fault his steadiness the way it did Shane’s. He’ll hover at Shane’s shoulder for a while, close enough that it feels intentional, hell, say something so overly flirty that no one will bat an eye. And then he’ll take it all back and say something that puts distance back between them, and Shane will feel stupid for ever thinking- what, exactly? That this meant something? That it was different this time?

Exhausting; the constant recalibration. The way Shane found himself reading into everything and then scolding himself for it, then doing it again anyway. But his thumbs moved on their own accord. 

8:13pm Shane: I’ll see you at the party.

8:13pm Ilya: Good.
8:13pm Ilya: Have a safe flight. 

Shane shook his head, a faint, incredulous smile pulling at the corner of his mouth despite himself. 

Chapter Text

8:12pm Jane: I’m not sure I’m gonna come tonight Marleau. 

8:16pm Marleau: awww y not? :(( 

8:16pm Jane: I don’t want to see Rozanov

8:16pm Jane: He won't even answer my texts. He’s been ignoring me for weeks 

8:16pm Jane: And I don’t want to come to this party and invade his group of friends 

8:17pm Jane: It makes me feel so desperate

8:17pm Jane: I feel so embarrassed 

8:18pm Jane: I just wait for when he’s in town and I let him fuck me whenever he wants 

8:18pm Jane: I think he just knows I’m too nervous to be with anyone else and I feel like if I go to this party he’s just gonna take advantage of that all over again 

8:18pm Jane: And I feel so fucking embarrassed for that too

8:21pm Jane: Fuck I’m sorry just ignore this 

8:27pm Marleau: fuck jane im sorry

8:27pm Marleau: u dont have to come if its going to upset u

8:27pm Marleau: or u can come as just jane

8:29pm Marleau: whatever u want

8:29pm Marleau: if u wanna come and we can just hang all night thats fine 

8:29pm Marleau: i wont make u talk to roz if u dont want to

8:31pm Marleau: but if u dont want to come im not going to hate u okay?

8:40pm Jane: Thanks Marleau.

-

Music bled out into the street in heavy, pulsing waves, bass thick enough to feel in their feet, rattling faintly through the pavement as Shane stepped out of the car. The night air in Boston was sharp with late-season cold, but it did nothing to cut through the heat of it: the noise, the lights flashing through the windows, the sheer density of bodies, Shane imagined them all packed like sardines just beyond the front door and shuddered.

Hayden let out a low whistle beside him, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets as he tilted his head back to take it in. “Sooo. Do you think the party is in this house?” 

J.J. snorted, already halfway up the front path. “You expected subtle? From Cliff Marleau? Putain de Connard has more money than sense, Jesus."

“Hey.” Hayden bumped his shoulder lightly. “You coming, or are you planning to brood out here all night?”

Shane exhaled, something close to a laugh catching at the edge of it. “Yeah. I’m coming.”

“What’s that?” Hayden nodded to an envelope clutched in his hands. “You write him a card? What are we, 10?”

“Fuck off. A friend of Marleau’s couldn’t make it and she wanted me to pass it on.” Strangely proud with how quickly he came up with that one, and the pronoun mention was enough for Hayden to leave it. 

Shane fell into step with them, the three of them moving up the path in tandem, gravel crunching underfoot. There were people spilling out onto the lawn, drinks already in hand, voices loud and loose, and someone called J.J.’s name from across the yard; he raised a hand in acknowledgment without breaking stride, grinning like he was already halfway into the night.

The front door was wide open. It had been, for hours, probably. There was no threshold, not really- just a shift from cool air to warmth as the soft Boston night bled into something immediate and sweaty, and frankly overwhelming. The music hit harder inside, bass reverberating through Shane’s chest, through his ribs, rattling at his sternum. For a moment, it was almost disorienting.

Bodies pressed in on all sides, familiar faces and strangers alike, all of them blurred at the edges by movement and light. The place smelled like alcohol and expensive cologne and something faintly metallic underneath it all- sweat, maybe, Shane didn’t want to dwell on it. Someone shouts from across the room; someone else laughs too loudly, and Hayden is already being pulled away- caught by a cluster of the Raiders near the kitchen. J.J. disappears just as quickly, drawn into conversation with a redhead like it’s second nature.

And Shane was standing there, just inside the door, frozen like a deer in headlights.

“Hollander! Thanks for coming, is… Is that for me? Did you write that?” Marleau greeted him with a soft clap on the back, before his eyes met the card. His smile was so soft it felt pitiful, almost as if he wasn’t expecting Shane to even be standing at his door.

“Um, no. Jane wanted me to give you this?” He said, handing the envelope over to the man. Marleau’s thick eyebrows shot up and his grin stretched impossibly wider. 

“You know Jane?” Marleau whispered.

“Yeah, a little. She thinks you’re great,” He smiled. 

Marleau burst into a toothy grin, taking a sip from his beer.

“She said that? She’s so fuckin nice man. Is she… like, is she coming?” 

“I’m- I’m not sure. Um, she said just in case she didn’t, she wanted me to bring it. So.” Shane smiled awkwardly, feeling his nervousness flush into a soft pink across his cheeks. He prayed with all his might that it was too dark to notice. 

“Yeah no of course, I understand. Will you let her know to text me if she shows up? I’ve been hoping she does.” 

“I will. Hope you have a nice night Marleau. Happy late Birthday.”

“Thank you Hollzy! I appreciate you coming, seriously.” His grin was too earnest. Blinking at Shane once more, he slinked away into the sea of bodies. 

Shane knew how to do this. Shane knew how to move through a room like this before, how to navigate these kinds of events, he had practiced many times how to be exactly as present or as detached as the moment required. He could lose himself in it, if he tried to. It was simple. 

“Hello ‘Hollzy’. So you two are on nickname basis now, yes?” A voice growled too close for comfort in Shane’s ear; thickly accented and sultry. He pressed his tongue against the back of his teeth, jaw tightening. 

“Are you running hot? Or is it something he said?” Rozanov’s hand curled around his shoulder, pressing firmly on the bruise he knew Shane acquired last game, deep enough to evoke a hiss through Shane’s teeth. 

“Hi Rozanov,” he gritted, turning to face the man- and fuck.

Rozanov wore a tight, long sleeve shirt that left little to the imagination. His curls had been tamed, neatly falling across his forehead and down the nape of his neck. He looked at Shane with his soft blue eyes expectantly.  

“Is Cliff Marleau turning you on, Hollander? You are blushing,” he practically purred in Shane’s ear, a pool of arousal setting in his lower stomach. Rozanov’s voice was warm and syrupy, but the glint of jealousy in his voice didn’t go unnoticed. 

A small smile spread across Shane’s face, the blush across his cheeks deepening. 

“Why? Are you jealous? He’s a very talented player.” Shane teased, satisfied with the way Rozanovs jaw tightened and his throat bobbed. 

“And what if I am? What if I want to keep you all to myself, tell everybody you’re mine, what then?” Rozanov challenged with a dirty smirk that curled into his cheekbones. 

Shane opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Fuck. He lost the face off, and Rozanovs smirk grew into a smug grin. 

“Oops. Did I make you nervous? That’s not a good look at a party, Hollander.” 

His hand left Shane’s shoulder and Shane fought back a sigh at the absence, cool air biting where his palm once rested. He picked at something invisible on Shane’s shirt, and met Shane’s eyes.

“Meet me by the fire escape when you want me to keep you all for me. Just go when you’re ready. I’ll be watching you tonight, Hollander.” 

-

Shane had been trying to find Hayden and J.J for a solid hour before he gave up; settling down on the couch and letting his eyes glaze over as he focused on a damp spot in the armchair across him. J.J had been missing ever since he sweet-talked the young redhead onto his hip, and Hayden stepped outside and hadn’t returned since. He barely even noticed the dip in the couch beside him, until Cliff Marleau’s big brown eyes were staring at him from the corner of his eye. 

“Hollander! Hey, you okay?” Marly set his beer beside his feet and crossed a leg lazily over the other. 

“Yeah, of course. Are you having a nice night?”

“Totally! I’m just surprised you’re still here, man.” Shane wrinkled his nose and frowned. 

“What do you mean by that?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything bad by it!” Marleau’s brows furrowed with something earnest, and he held his hands up in a mock-surrender gesture. “I just meant I don’t see you at a lot of parties or bars, so. Maybe they’re not your thing. …So, I’m grateful you’ve stayed around.”

Shane smiled, wide enough for his cheeks to wrinkle into his eyes. He had quoted Jane- Shane- word for word. “Yeah. They’re not really, I’m more of a chill night in kind of guy. But I’m having a nice time, honest.” 

Marleau chuckled and clapped his back, a little too hard. “I feel that brother. Well you’re always welcome here!” He grinned, hauling himself up off the couch. 

Rozanov’s eyes were burning holes into him through the crowd, leaning against the stair banister as he watched the two talk. His brows pulled together and an uncomfortable grimace on his face. When Shane met them, he jerked his chin upwards and disappeared upstairs.

Shane followed, naturally. He slinked up the stairs, relieved to find the hallway empty. Rozanov stood at the end of it with his arms folded. 

“We are in a party full of our teams, what the fuck do you think they’ll say?” Still two steps behind him, following blindly into the room Rozanov stepped into. “They’re going to notice,” he hissed. 

“No one is looking at you Hollander, fucking relax.” And then, because he couldn’t help himself, “Well, that's not true. You seem to have Marleau’s attention tonight.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“Since when were you two such best friends? Is easy question Hollander.” 

“Are you… oh my god, you're jealous? You are! You totally are, seriously?” Rozanov stopped in his tracks, and spun round on his feet to shut the door behind them. He dared himself a glance at Shane’s eyes and caught his breath, a warm void of brown meeting blue. There was an unreadable expression on Shane’s face, and his mouth pulled in a tight pouty frown. злой котёнок, Ilya thought. 

The room seemed to be Marleau’s room; a large king size bed against the wall and a metal balcony overlooking the nearby apartments, the fire escape staircase swindling down to the alleyway. There were no lights on; the room lit up with just the moonlight, and Shane couldn't help but think Ilya looked exceptionally beautiful with his pale skin illuminated like this. 

“You’re jealous because I spoke to Cliff Marleau at a party. You, the one who fucks anyone and anything whenever he wants to- and I speak to somebody at a party, and you-” 

“Is not true. I’m not fucking anyone right now.” 

“You fuck me,” Shane said matter of factly, evoking a scoff from the man beside him.

“Yes. And I haven’t fucked anyone for weeks, Hollander.” They were so close Shane practically felt the words in his own mouth. 

“Okay, so?” 

“So I’m saying you’re wrong, that’s all.” 

“Okay? Well all I was doing was speaking to Cliff Marleau at his party. He was just saying it was nice to see me at a party because I don’t normally go to them.” 

“And that is it?” 

Shane’s frown deepened. “Yes. Why are you being so weird about this-” 

Rozanov’s lips crashed into Shane’s- all teeth and tongue and desire, his hands wrapping around the back of the man underneath him. Rozanov pressed him into the door, one hand sliding the lock over it as he carded fingers through Shane’s hair. Shane whimpered involuntarily into his mouth, hands fumbling at Rozanov’s belt as he hurried his hands to Rozanov’s growing bulge. 

“Missed this,” Rozanov growled, his hand leaving Shane’s hair to palm Shane through his jeans, a small groan escaping his lips. 

“Missed this,” Shane parroted. “Need you so bad.” 

Rozanov’s long fingers hooked the loop of Shane’s jeans, sliding a thumb into the button through the slit and tugging them down. Hands pressed firmly into his bulge, then slid into the waistband, sliding a thumb over the slit as he smeared Shane’s wetness over the tip. 

“Ты такой красивый,” Ilya muttered as he took them both into his hand. “Это всё для меня.” 

Rozanov stroked clumsily, fuelled by lust and something darker and Shane brought his own hand to help them, groaning quietly into Rozanov’s mouth as he stood pressed against the door. His legs trembled and he felt like he was going to collapse any minute, pinned up only with Rozanov’s knee and one strong arm against the back of his neck. 

“Close,” Shane whispered. 

Rozanov pressed open mouth kisses against Shane’s neck. “Good.” 

“Rozanov- wait, fuck, I’m gonna-”

“Yes, come for me, Хороший мальчик,” Rozanov growled, lifting his head to press against Shane’s. They panted and moaned in tandem, each exhale of Shane’s swallowed by Rozanov as he came with a soft whimper. His knees buckled and Rozanov dragged him upwards, tightening his grip on him as he stroked Shane’s spent cock against his own. 

“Fuck, дерьмо, Shane, Shane-” Rozanov’s face dripped with sweat as he spilled over their hands, throwing his head onto Shane’s shoulder as his forehead hit the locked door. 

“Ilya,” Shane whispered into the back of his neck, stiffening. 

When Ilya pulled his head back his eyes were wide with something that embodied the likeness of fear, an expression Shane had never seen on Ilya until now, flickering between Shane’s face and Shane’s eyes. His lips were red and parted, frozen in time. 

“I should, I need to.. Um,” Shane whispered, snatching a tissue off of the box sitting on the dresser and tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans. Ilya stood dumbfounded as he seemed to take a century to recalibrate.

“Hollander,” He tried, voice feeble. “Hollander-”

“Hayden is probably looking for me,” Shane mumbled, tossing the tissue into the trashcan. “And I cannot do this, I’m sorry. I need.. I need to go.” 

Shane slid the lock on the door; everything felt too tight, too warm, all wrong- his feet felt too clumsy now as he practically bolted down the stairs, paying no attention to the bodies he stumbled into on his way out the door. Someone swore as he clipped their shoulder. Another voice- laughing, careless and sounding a little like Hayden, followed him down the hall, but it blurred into the rest of the noise, indistinguishable from the music still pounding through the house. The air inside pressed in on him, it clung to his skin, made it hard to think and harder to breathe.

The front door was still thrown open, and Shane marched forward, one hand catching the frame just long enough to steady himself before he stumbled out onto the front steps. Down the path, across the edge of the lawn, gravel crunching unevenly underfoot. His lungs burned, though he couldn’t tell if it was from the sudden cold or the feeling of his world crashing in on him. Shane leaned forward and hurled into a trashcan, emptying the scarce contents of his stomach into the plastic. 

Behind him, the house roared on, indifferent.

Chapter Text

2:01am Marleau: thank u for the card :) 

2:01am Marleau: are u here? did u come? 

2:01am Marleau: party is almost over so i hope u had/have a nice time if so

3:36am Marleau: sucks that i couldnt have said hello but i understand

3:36am Marleau: i didn’t hit on any women just incase it was u LOL

3:36am Marleau: waited for them to come to me

3:36am Marleau: thankfully i am just such a handsome stallion that this was no problem 

3:58am Marleau: did u get to talk to roz?

3:58am Marleau: he was here at the start but he disappeared 

4:14am Marleau: lol connors just told me shane hollander threw up in my neighbours garbage and went home early

4:14am Marleau: wonder wtf happened to that guy he seemed ok 

4:30am Marleau: hey jane?

4:30am Marleau: have u heard from roz?

4:30am Marleau: hes not answering my texts

5:02am Marleau: jane? 

Marleau was wasted, lazily throwing bottles and cups into trash bags and ignoring the disgusting sway that threw the house off balance. Roz had helped him set up, and had promised to help him deal with the aftermath, but he was nowhere to be seen and it was taking every ounce of patience Marly had not to be pissed about it. Maybe Jane really did come, and he escaped off with her to enjoy their night. He wouldn’t be so mad if that were true, and would explain the lack of replies from the both of them. Two more bottles were slung into the bag and he looked around at the mess, defeated. Fuck this. He’d deal with it in the morning.

He dragged his feet upstairs, one arm gripping the banister for balance. His bedroom door was ajar and his face soured at the idea of somebody fucking in his bed. 

Rozanov crouched on his balcony, smoking a cigarette. 

“Didn’t feel like helping then asshole?” Marleau slurred. “Go to the guest bedroom if you’re crashing here, I want to jack off.” 

When Rozy turned his face was puffy, eyes red and streaked with something wet. His mouth set in a small frown, looking both embarrassed being caught like this on the balcony and too tired to care. 

“Shit. Rozy, you okay?” 

“Yes.” His voice was thick and sounded like he had been crying, which Marleau stupidly only then connected his appearance to. 

“You don’t seem like it,” He pressed gently.

“Is fine.”

“Did you have a fight?”

“I didn’t fight anyone Marly, I promised I wouldn’t.” He muttered, taking another drag from his cigarette.

“No not like that, like… Was it Jane? Did you have an argument with her?” 

“Why would it be Jane?” Rozy narrowed his eyes and he glared at Marleau, piercing enough to completely sober him up. 

“No I-I just wondered, that’s all,” he stammered. 

“No Marleau, you are lying to me. Why would it be Jane?” Rozanov stomped his cigarette out and clenched his fist, jaw tight.

“ItextedJaneandaskedhertocome,” Marleau blurted, feeling a chill down his spine at the way Rozanov’s nostrils flared.

“What the fuck did you just say Marleau?” Marleau, not even Marly. Fuck. 

“I asked her to come.” 

“And how the fuck did you do that, huh? You take her fucking number from my phone? What the fuck is wrong with you?” He shut the balcony door behind him and prowled his way towards Marleau. 

“I just wanted to get to know her for your sake, it’s not like that- you know I’d never do anything like that to you Roz.” 

“You don’t get to fucking talk to Jane,” Rozanov spat. His face was tight with anger, red and bulging with his restraint. He practically vibrated with it, Marleau could feel it with every step the man took closer to him. 

“Show me your phone. Show me the messages, now.” 

“I can’t.” Marleau stepped back instinctively, and Rozanov’s face contorted with even more rage.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Marleau? You won’t let me see what dirty shit you send to her? You talk about me, is that it?” Rozanov was in his face now, one finger jabbing into his ribs. 

“I don’t send her dirty shit Rozy. I would never, never do that. I thought you guys were something, so I messaged her. I just wanted her to know she didn’t have to hide,” Marleau pleaded. 

“Then show me,” Rozanov lurched for his pocket, fists gripping at fabric as Marleau pulled away. They tussled for an awkward minute before Marleau stepped back, out of breath. 

“Rozy I can’t.”

“Oh yeah? And why the fuck is that, huh?”

“Because she told me how she felt about you, and if you treat her like an asshole after reading how she feels, I won’t look at you the same. I’m sorry.” The words hung thick in the air and Rozanov seemed to grow silent. “You can react however you want, bitch to me to the guys, make me do extra bag skates, bench me, hell- suspend me, but I won’t look at you the same.”

“Treat her like asshole.” His voice was quiet, and he turned to face the balcony.

“Yes. Just whatever you guys are, I just, I really think you guys need to talk about it. You guys seem like you really like each other." 

Rozanov spat out a laugh akin to a small sob, until he really was then sobbing, shoulders shaking with his back turned to the man frozen in place behind him. 

“You think I would treat her like asshole? Is what you think of me?” 

“No, I just. I know you guys are on and off but I think it’s taking a toll-” 

“Shut the fuck up Marly,” he turned to face Marleau, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. The sight was eerie. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you-”

“No, shut the fuck up Marly. Don’t ever fucking text Jane again.”

“I’m sorry. Did you guys talk..?”

“We are over Marly. Shut the fuck up.” His face crumpled and Marleau surged forward, one arm around the man’s back as Rozanov laughed bitterly into the back of his neck. Rozanov allowed himself to be held for one fleeting moment, until he yanked himself off of Marleau and slammed the bedroom door behind him. 

5:54am Marleau: sorry if i overstepped by asking u to come to the party i really didnt mean for this to happen

5:58am Marleau: rozy said u guys aren’t seeing eachother anymore

5:58am Marleau: he left but he still wont talk to me 

6:07am Marleau: im sorry jane i hope it wasnt the party 

6:14am Marleau: jane can u just let me know if ur somewhere safe? 

7:53am Marleau: i’d still like to be your friend, if you'd like that too.

Chapter Text

A month passed before Jane even read his messages from that night. 

Marleau checked his text thread with Jane every night before he slept, to the point it became built into his routine. The messages he had sent still sat on delivered, and as the days went on the worry gnawed at his gut until he felt queasy most nights. He knew Jane was probably fine, but the lack of confirmation and the absolute impossibility of asking Rozanov was enough to keep him up into the early hours of the nights. Marleau didn’t press it, he couldn't; he had barely even managed to smooth things out with Rozy enough to resume to their usual antics, and so he sat, each night, scrolling through almost a year's worth of conversation. Photos of their food, Jane’s sickly healthy poke bowls and an assortment of greasy pizza from himself. Photos of his grandma’s cat, his cabin back in Oregon he grew up in- small museums Jane had visited as a kid in Ottawa. Snippets of their lives that had somehow become the closest connection to another person Marleau had gotten to have for a long while. Marleau found himself missing Jane most days. He found it odd- to miss a friend he hadn’t ever seen nor heard, but talking to Jane had felt like a breath of fresh air from the surface level conversations he held with the Raiders. She knew hockey, well enough to debate it and long enough for Marleau to burn his food while talking through games, and was so funny that Marleau kept snorting out loud on the subway. 

When the read symbol finally appeared under his messages, he slept the best he had for a long time. 

Another month later, Marleau found himself back in Oregon burying his childhood cat.

11:01pm Marleau: hey

11:01pm Marleau: u dont have to reply

11:03pm Marleau: but we buried mitsy 

11:03pm Marleau: and i feel so dumb for being so upset about it 

11:04pm Marleau: but ur also the only person i ever told 

11:04pm Marleau: about mitsy

11:09pm Marleau: hope ur doing well 

5:32pm Marleau: on my way home back to boston grandmas gonna be okay i think

5:32pm Marleau: still killer at yahtzee

5:36pm Marleau: just missing mitsy

5:36pm Marleau: i wonder if the boys would laugh

5:36pm Marleau: like if i told them why i wasnt in boston for off season

5:42pm Marleau: dunno

When Marleau arrived home a bouquet of flowers sat on his doorstep. White lilies wrapped neatly in a clear foil. 

‘You might not be a flower man, but these are for Mitsy, not for you.♥️’

He wept at the sentiment. They stayed on his countertop in a makeshift vase- the largest mug he could find- until they drooped all over the marble and began to rot.

He felt like he was miles away from Roz and it made him sick. They had an unstoppable chemistry; they made plays no one had ever seen before, and now he felt like all the doors Roz had opened for him were bolted shut. They still went out, they still drank; they still fucked the girls they met at the bars- but Marleau knew that there was a Jane-shaped void brewing in him that none of them seemed to get close to filling. The guilt ate him alive too. Knowing that his party had most likely pushed things a little too far for both of them. And now one of them had vanished without a trace, and one of them wouldn’t let him in anymore. Where the fuck was he supposed to put all the love he had for these two? 

8:31pm Marleau: this off season feels so long 

8:31pm Marleau: do u get time off for off seasons like we do? 

6:23am Marleau: back in boring snoozefest montreal

6:23am Marleau: is it weird to say its starting to grow on me 

8:08pm Marleau: Attachment: 1 photo

8:08pm Marleau: boston pizza best pizza

8:08pm Marleau: the locals actually told me they all find boston pizza shit 

8:09pm Marleau: which made me laugh cause idk why i ever asked u for pizza spot suggestions considering u eat bowls of leaves all day 

3:14pm Marleau: did u see shane hollander is with rose landry? 

3:14pm Marleau: crazy

3:15pm Marleau: didnt know he had it in him

3:18pm Marleau: they look good together

12:59am Marleau: i met a girl last week

12:59am Marleau: and we really hit it off

12:59am Marleau: just thought id share

12:59am Marleau: cause i asked her one of our questions

12:59am Marleau: and wondered how u were doing 

11:11am Marleau: hope ur doing good jane

One night, a Brooklyn v Boston game ended short for Marleau; slammed into the boards with a violent fury that sent him splayed out on the ice, wrist bent at an awkward angle. He lay flat on his back, breathing hard. Rozanov’s face pulled into such a worried expression that Marleau actually laughed out loud. Warmth trickled down his nose, tickling his cheek and blocking one of his ears, and he let the medics haul him onto the stretcher without a fuss. They won; that was his first question after coming around, of course. Rozanov smirked his signature cocky smirk, pulling out his phone to show him a slow-mo of him falling to the ground, and it felt as though everything had clicked back into place between them. And when he finally left, hiding out in the bathroom after the visiting hours for as long as he could until caught by a nurse- his phone buzzed on the tray beside him. 

6:34pm Jane: Are you okay?

7:49pm Marleau: jane???

7:52pm Marleau: im ok

7:52pm Marleau: no concussion 

7:52pm Marleau: broken wrist

7:54pm Jane: Wow really? No concussion?

7:54pm Jane: How bad is the break? 

7:57pm Marleau: u ignored me for months

7:57pm Marleau: can i have a hello first

7:57pm Jane: Hello. I’m really sorry Marly.

7:59pm Marleau: i understand 

7:59pm Marleau: i mean i understand why u felt like u couldnt talk to me anymore

8:00pm Marleau: but it hurt my feelings 

8:00pm Marleau: whatever happened between u and roz

8:00pm Marleau: it didnt matter to me

8:01pm Marleau: i would still be ur friend 

8:04pm Jane: I’m sorry Marleau.

8:04pm Jane: It was difficult. The whole thing was stupid

8:05pm Marleau: i just wish u didnt ghost me for so long

8:05pm Jane: Sorry.

8:05pm Marleau: stop saying sorry

8:06pm Jane: Sorry.

Marleau reacted ♥️ to your message.

8:08pm Marleau: ive been really worried about u two

8:11pm Marleau: rozy has only now just started to talk to me

8:11pm Marleau: fuck actually

8:11pm Marleau: rozy found out i messaged you

8:13pm Marleau: im really sorry jane

8:15pm Jane: What did he say?

8:15pm Marleau: he was angry but

8:15pm Marleau: not anymore

8:16pm Marleau: i think hes sad about this whole thing jane. 

8:16pm Marleau: whether or not thats something he’s told u i dont know. i dont even know if u guys are even talking anymore 

8:16pm Marleau: BOTH of u shut me out completely jane

8:23pm Jane: I’m sorry. This was all my fault 

8:23pm Jane: I really fucked up Marly

8:23pm Jane: I was at your party

8:25pm Jane: It was a great time and I’m glad you had fun.

8:25pm Jane: And I spoke to Rozanov

8:26pm Jane: He said something that made it all feel a little too real, and I panicked, and I pretty much ran away. And I’m so fucking stupid for doing it but I didn’t know what to do

8:31pm Marleau: do you not want something real?

8:31pm Jane: How can we have something real if nobody can know who I am?

8:36pm Jane: Ugh ignore all of this

8:36pm Jane: This isn’t appropriate

8:36pm Jane: If you ever find out who I am this is just

8:37pm Jane: Way, way too much. 

8:37pm Jane: And it’s not just my business, it's your team captain’s too. 

8:45pm Marleau: jane i dont care who u are

8:45pm Marleau: well like i do care but u know what i mean

8:45pm Marleau: i think ur a good, decent person and that outweighs who u are and how bad u think it will be if i find out 

8:46pm Jane: I met someone and they're great.

9:12pm Marleau: oh

9:12pm Marleau: im really happy for u jane

9:14pm Jane: They were great. And all I could think about the whole time I was with them is that they weren’t Rozanov

9:14pm Jane: How bad is that? 

9:15pm Jane: And I didn’t even tell them that. THEY noticed it and told ME. They broke up with me.

9:15pm Jane: How fucking embarrassing

9:18pm Marleau: fuck

9:18pm Marleau: thats bad jane

9:18pm Jane: No shit

9:18pm Jane: I don’t know what to fucking do dude 

9:18pm Marleau: when roz is back in montreal u TALK to him jane

9:19pm Marleau: enough of this bullshit

9:19pm Marleau: u talk to him and either he feels the same or he doesnt

9:19pm Marleau: and u get to cut ur losses and move on

9:23pm Jane: Maybe. 

9:23pm Jane: I need to go. Ice your wrist.

9:23pm Marleau: yes doc

9:36pm Marleau: oh and jane?

9:36pm Marleau: thank u for the flowers. 

Jane reacted ♥️ to your message.

Chapter Text

12:14pm Marleau: so fucking bored

12:14pm Marleau: need to be on the ice

12:14pm Marleau: gonna kms out of BOREDOM SOON

12:17pm Marleau: that girl i met said shes gonna come visit me this week

12:17pm Marleau: LESSGOOOO

12:17pm Marleau: its weird i think shes like actually into me and doesnt want to just fuck

12:31pm Jane: Are you sure…? 

12:31pm Marleau: LOL fuck off

12:33pm Jane: Joking. What’s her name? What’s she like

12:33pm Marleau: her name is jasmine and shes gorgeous 

12:34pm Marleau: shes from boston and shes got really pretty curly hair 

12:34pm Marleau: and she smells like vanilla like a straight up cookie factory its crazy

12:34pm Marleau: idk how u girls do that cause all of us just smell like ass and sweat all the time 

12:36pm Jane: All of us being? 

12:36pm Marleau: hockey players 

12:39pm Jane: Not all of them smell like ass

12:39pm Jane: I think that’s just a Boston Raiders specific smell 

12:39pm Marleau: i hate u 

12:40pm Jane: LOL

12:40pm Jane: So you guys have been talking yeah? 

12:41pm Marleau: yeah and shes so funny 

12:42pm Marleau: she doesnt rlly know alot about hockey which honestly has kinda been a godsend cause it means she liked me just for me yknow? like not just cause im cliff marleau

12:42pm Marleau: THE cliff marleau. hottest man ever cliff marleau 

12:43pm Jane: Slowest player ever Cliff Marleau

12:43pm Marleau: ok jane atleast i know what this girl looks like 

Jane reacted ♥️ to your message.

12:43pm Jane: Are you gonna take her on a date then?

12:47pm Marleau: wdym?

12:47pm Jane: She’s coming up to see you, you need to take her on a date.

12:47pm Marleau: fuuuuuck

12:48pm Marleau: like to where

12:48pm Jane: Seriously?

12:48pm Jane: You’re hopeless 

12:48pm Jane: Take her to the skating rink. It's January, so it’ll be dark. They do it up all nice with the lights. Then take her to dinner, then take her home. 

12:49pm Marleau: taking notes 📝

12:49pm Marleau: thx janey

12:54pm Jane: Useless

12:54pm Jane: Let me know how it goes 

-

10:04am Marleau: gooooooood morning jane 

10:04am Marleau: update from last night

10:04am Marleau: it went great

10:05am Marleau: was really cute teaching her how to skate. she kept asking me how i was so good at skating and i dont think she realises hockey is like… on the ice, i fear. 

Jane reacted ♥️ to your message. 

10:25am Jane: Glad it went okay. Second date?

10:28am Marleau: i asked yeah

10:28am Marleau: she said yes

10:28am Marleau: any ideas for this one? 😇

10:37am Jane: Your turn to figure it out brother. 

Marleau reacted 😥 to your message.

-

7:14pm Marleau: dang rose landry and hollander broke up like two weeks ago it just hit twitter

7:14pm Marleau: that lasted like 2 seconds

7:31pm Jane: Uh huh

7:33pm Marleau: i wonder who broke up with who

7:33pm Marleau: was def rose landry calling it quits no offence to hollander

7:59pm Jane: Who the fuck cares?

8:02pm Marleau: dang sorry jane didn’t realise u were a rose landry mega fan

8:02pm Marleau: or a shane hollander mega fan 

8:02pm Marleau: trying to decide which one fits u more 🤔

8:03pm Marleau: my heart is telling me hollander

8:03pm Marleau: but u surprise me jane. 

8:10pm Jane: Asshole

8:10pm Jane: Maybe it was mutual and they’re still on good terms and still talk like friends 

8:16pm Marleau: what like u and roz

8:16pm Jane: I hate you

8:17pm Marleau: LOL

8:17pm Marleau: just sayin

8:24pm Marleau: rose landry is so gorgeous dude

8:24pm Marleau: might ask roz to ask hollander what happened at the all stars

8:25pm Marleau: all stars in tampa this year

8:25pm Marleau: rozanov and hollander on the same team sounds terrifying

8:25pm Marleau: wish i could go

8:28pm Jane: If you went instead of Rozanov it wouldn’t be terrifying though

8:28pm Marleau: ok ur just all kinds of fucked up jane 

Jane reacted ♥️ to your message. 

8:44pm Marleau: spoken to rozy yet? 

8:44pm Jane: I plan to. 

8:45pm Jane: I think I really hurt him Marly

8:45pm Jane: So I’m just a bit nervous. 

8:45pm Jane: And my feelings are hurt too for my own reasons. 

8:46pm Marleau: i understand that

8:46pm Marleau: hes definitely hurt. the guy stinks of vodka all the time 

8:47pm Marleau: u guys need to COMMUNICATE

8:47pm Marleau: actually its crazy that im telling u this

8:47pm Marleau: do ur friends know? about rozy? like why arent they grilling u for this

8:50pm Jane: No.

8:50pm Marleau: oh shit 

8:51pm Marleau: why not

8:53pm Jane: Cause they’d hate me for it

8:53pm Marleau: u dont know that for sure

8:58pm Jane: I do.

8:58pm Marleau: test it on me then

8:58pm Marleau: tell me who u are 

9:45pm Marleau: boooooooo

-

9:15pm Jane: How was your first game back?

10:32pm Marleau: yeah not too bad! wrist is still a little weak but i feel good

10:36pm Marleau: not gonna ask how u know that

10:36pm Marleau: creep

10:43pm Jane: I’m watching you 🕵️

10:43pm Marleau: all stars next week

10:45pm Marleau: hes like weirdly nervous 

10:46pm Marleau: maybe hollanders giving him the spooks 

10:57pm Jane: Maybe. Just give him some space.

Chapter Text

Shane lay breathless on the hotel bed, allowing himself a moment to let the flush leave his face.The shitty hotel TV was still blaring some random commentary of Tampa’s boring fucking news, but the two breathed heavily into the plainly decorated room without saying a word. When the soft panting of the two subsided, the TV’s countdown to turn off finally gave in, switching off with an audible click; interrupting the red nosed cheery journalist mid sentence as everything fell silent. The sheets were twisted around Shane’s waist, carefully covering the parts of him he suddenly felt shy about being exposed. Ilya was on his side, propped up on one elbow, watching him openly. He didn’t try to hide it.

To be truthful, Shane had hoped they ended up seeing each other tonight. Shane made sure to let him know how things with Rose had gone pretty much immediately, and they had been eyeing each other up for far too long by the pool earlier that day. It had filled Shane’s chest with a warmth he hadn’t felt for months. And when Ilya came to find him later by the sand, they watched the waves lap over each other in a comfortable silence- and Shane fought back a quiet declaration of something fond and sweet.

Shane told him he was gay, to which Ilya had accepted; although not very gracefully, and felt like the biggest fucking weight had dropped off of his shoulders. To which Ilya graced him with his own secrets, his family, the complication of Russia and everything Shane felt like a fucking idiot for not considering. And, though he’d never say it out loud, Ilya with fresh tears spilling down his face was one of the most beautiful sights he’d ever seen. Shane had held him, rocked him until the sobs quietened to a whimper, and thought to himself This is it. This is exactly what I’ve been missing. 

Shane’s chest was still rising a little too fast, not quite yet down from his orgasm. There was a flush along his cheeks down to his collarbones that hadn't faded, but a small smile curled into the corners of his mouth. Ilya drank him in. The slope of his nose. The way his lips dipped in the middle, and the way his eyes scrunched and twitched when he was thinking. 

“So,” Shane said finally. The word hung there, heavy.

Ilya hummed softly. “So.”

“Marleau texted me about a year ago,” he started.

“Mmm. We just fucked and you are talking about Cliff Marleau?” Ilya scoffed as Shane fought back a smile. 

“Shut up. Just, listen to me. Marleau texted me about a year ago asking to get to know Jane. I was just wondering how you felt… feel about that. I’m sure you’ve seen the texts, they’re not anything like that. I stopped messaging, after, um…” he trailed off. “But I think it upset him a little.” 

“I haven’t seen the texts.” Ilya replied. Shane propped himself up from the mattress, surprised.

“You haven’t?”

“No, Marly wouldn’t let me.”

“What? Why?” Shane’s nose wrinkled. “I wasn’t flirting with Cliff Marleau, Ilya.”

“He said that you told him how you felt about me, and that if I read how you felt and treated you bad he would be very sad about it. He would, I don't know.. Look at me bad.” 

“....Oh.” Shane blinked up at the small red dot on the TV, letting it blur as he processed that. Cliff Marleau refused to show his own best friends their texts out of respect for Jane. Out of respect for him. The sentiment sent a twang of guilt into his stomach and he pulled his face into a frown.

“Oh. Well, I just want to say that I’m sorry. That’s your best friend, and I overstepped.” 

“Is okay. You.. talk feelings with him?”

“Um,” Shane scrubbed a hand over his face, slightly mortified. “I guess so.”

“Both of you?”

“Yeah.” Ilya nodded and hummed in thought. 

“He is lonely inside, I think. I see it, but he does not share this with me. Is good, for you to talk to him maybe.” 

“I think so,” Shane agreed, reaching up to smooth the hair aside on Ilya’s forehead. 

They shuffled in silence while Shane finished dressing, broken up by soft and slow kisses they lost themselves in. When Shane had finally managed to put his shoes on, slightly out of breath and already half hard again, he moved toward the door, then turned, drinking one last look at the man sprawled in the sheets.

“For what it’s worth,” Shane said, “he is a really nice guy. You should try and talk to him. It might be good for the both of you. ”

Ilya let out a quiet huff of laughter. “Shane stop sucking Marly off. I said you can be friends, not more.”

“Asshole.” He grinned. 

“Goodnight, Ilya.” A small soft smile spread across Ilya’s face.

“Goodnight Shane.” 

Shane got back to his hotel room and grinned like an idiot. He was giddy, wasting no time in the shower and settling into bed with a satisfied sigh.

11:42pm Jane: I think things are gonna be okay with us 

11:46pm Marleau: ??? did you text him?

11:46pm Marleau: i feel like thats a conversation u should have had irl 

11:46pm Jane: Who said it wasn’t? 

11:46pm Marleau: ur in tampa????

11:46pm Marleau: holy shit

11:47pm Marleau: wtf

11:50pm Marleau: JANEEEE

11:50pm Marleau: u didnt tell me????

11:51pm Marleau: i wondered why u ghosted me all day

11:51pm Marleau: when i saw u read my message with the breakfast pic and u hadn’t told me how sexy it looked i thought u DIED jane

11:53pm Marleau: ur in TAMPA??? 

11:53pm Marleau: what happened?? how did it go??

11:58pm Jane: I’m sorry! That breakfast looks amazing 

11:58pm Jane: Yes I’m in Tampa, just for other work reasons. We met up and talked over things, and I said I was sorry for running away last time. 

11:58pm Marleau: okay so are u guys together???

12:03am Jane: Okay slow down Marly, no. 

12:03am Marleau: SO U HAD THIS CONVO AND U DIDNT ASK EACHOTHER OUT

12:04am Marleau: did u fuck?

Jane reacted 😉 to your message.

12:07am Marleau: JANEEEEEE

12:07am Marleau: you madwoman 

12:07am Marleau: omg im so happy u guys are okay

12:08am Jane: Me too. :) 

12:08am Marleau: so if ur in tampa are u gonna be at the game??

12:08am Marleau: omg im gonna be ZOOMED IN on the crowd tomorrow holy shit 

12:12am Jane: 50 dollars if you can find me 

12:12am Marleau: canadian or american 

12:12am Jane: Canadian

12:13am Marleau: stingy as fuck  

-

6:52pm Marleau: hollander and rozy are on a fucking mad one tonight 

6:52pm Marleau: this is insane

6:56pm Marleau: im texting u rn and seeing if i can see a scary looking woman in the crowd on her phone

6:56pm Marleau: i saw one but she was like 50

6:56pm Marleau: im not writing her off though u give me scary old lady vibes

7:15pm Marleau: rozy needs to stop favouring his right side 

7:15pm Marleau: not gonna score any goals like that

7:31pm Marleau: okay nvm hes the goat i forgot

7:45pm Marleau: theyre so in sync its terrifying

7:45pm Marleau: can u imagine them on the same team

7:50pm Marleau: CRAZY FUCKING GOAL FROM HOLLANDER

7:52pm Marleau: media team is gonna go crazy with that helmet kiss 

7:56pm Marleau: they look so friendly?? this feels like a switcheroo episode 

8:35pm Marleau: MAN I WISH I WAS THERE

10:03pm Marleau: that was an insane game

10:03pm Marleau: ur so lucky u got to see it in person

10:03pm Marleau: i totally would have gone if i didn’t promise connors i was going to his stupid party 

10:04pm Marleau: vaughn was literally useless with two on the team 

10:04pm Marleau: cant believe im saying that 

11:04pm Jane: Good game huh? ;)

11:04pm Marleau: shut up

11:04pm Marleau: go give rozy some extra love from me

11:06pm Marleau: ugh ew that sounds gross

11:07pm Marleau: dont 

Chapter Text

Marleau’s phone buzzed incessantly underneath his pillow, a soft and slightly hungover groan leaving his lips. 

“Marly,” Roz drilled down his ear, voice loud and cheery as he didn’t even bother to hear the response. “You are free after Friday’s game, yes?” We are going out.”

“Can’t, sorry brother.” His voice was thick and gravelly. “I’m seeing somebody on that weekend.”

“Oh. Okay. Yes.” Rozanov paused on the other side of the phone. 

“Okay well we talk now then. Err, how are you? Are you okay?” The words sounded bizarre out of Rozy’s mouth. Are you… okey?

“Ummm, yeah?” Marleau made a face.

“Okay. good, is good.”

“How is your family?” Rozanov sounded awkward, like the question was physically paining him to ask.

“...What did you do? Why are you being nice to me?”

“Nothing! I did nothing. Just wondering. How you are. Is what friends do, no?”

Marleau tapped his phone on speaker and swiped to his messages, thumbing at Jane’s contact. 

10:28am Marleau: wtf is up with rozy?

10:28am Jane: ???

“Okay. Well… I'm okay, brother.” 

“Okay.” there it was again. Okey, so soft it was actually making him feel a little sick. 

“Ummm. Yeah.”

“Okey. Is it a girl? You like her?”

“Yes, but you’re creeping me out Roz.” Rozanov barked a genuine laugh and exhaled with something that sounded like relief. 

“Sorry. I am creeping myself out too I think. Is nothing. You are coming out with me soon, I force you.” He squeaked an obnoxious, over the top loud kiss down the phone, and hung up. 

10:31am Marleau: roz just called me all weird 

10:31am Marleau: asking how i was doing

10:33am Jane: I’m struggling to see what’s weird with that?

10:33am Marleau: idk all we talk about is hockey or girls

Jane reacted 👎 to your message.

10:33am Marleau: right yeah sorry jane

10:35am Jane: It’s fine, I already think you’re both gross

10:35am Marleau: LOL

10:35am Marleau: nah but we just dont really ask eachother that kind of stuff

10:35am Marleau: so it was weird. thats all

10:37am Jane: Do you talk to anybody about that kind of stuff? 

10:37am Marleau: no

10:37am Marleau: maybe carmichael sometimes but his advice is always to drink it out ur system

10:39am Marleau: ur probably the only person ive told that has actually replied with something useful

10:39am Jane: Well maybe Ilya is just trying to be a good friend 

10:40am Jane: Would it hurt to let more people in?

10:43am Marleau: so youre calling him ilya now then?

10:47am Marleau: yeah dont think i havent noticed you only called him rozanov 

10:47am Marleau: i notice everything jane no secrets get past me 

Jane reacted 🤣 to your message.

10:48am Jane: Ohhh I’m sure. 

10:49am Marleau: shush

10:49am Marleau: how was ur flight back from tampa 

10:49am Jane: Yeah it was okay. Was a really breezy flight back so I’m gonna go out with some of the guys later by the rink 

10:49am Marleau: ???

10:49am Marleau: some of the guys being some of the metros..? or..

Jane hung out with the Montreal Metros in her spare time? He leaned his head back against his lone flat pillow, eyes hazy on the Boston skyline from his balcony windows. Huh. 

11:14am Jane: Some of the girls, I meant

11:14am Jane: Guys is plural 

11:14am Jane: And non gender specific a lot of the time 

11:14am Jane: So 

11:15am Marleau: fair enough 

11:15am Jane: Yeah

11:15am Jane: I mean we are stopping by

11:15am Jane: After shopping 

11:16am Marleau: ahhhh i see

11:19am Marleau: getting them to carry all ur bags yeah? 

11:19am Jane: Yeah hahahaha

11:24am Jane: Yeah 

11:24am Jane: Ill talk to you later?

11:25am Marleau: alright janey 

11:25am Marleau: enjoy ur shopping trip 💅

1:42pm Marleau: are u going to boston with the metros this weekend? 

1:42pm Jane: Maybe, why?

1:45pm Marleau: just wondered

1:45pm Jane: I’m not gonna see Rozanov if that’s what you’re trying to ask

1:45pm Jane: I have plans 

1:49pm Marleau: fuckkk i blew out on roz too

1:49pm Marleau: was gonna take jas to a club 

1:49pm Jane: He’ll be fine, I’m sure

1:49pm Jane: At least he wont come to practice smelling like vodka if he’s forced to stay in 

1:49pm Marleau: too right jane

1:50pm Marleau: too right

1:51pm Jane: So you’re taking Jasmine out on another date huh?

1:51pm Jane: Is it going good between you two?

1:51pm Marleau: i hope so

1:52pm Marleau: i really like her janey

1:52pm Marleau: i think she might be the one

1:52pm Jane: I hope so Marly. :) 

1:54pm Jane: If she makes you happy then I wish you guys the best

1:54pm Marleau: maybe we can all go on a double date some time

1:54pm Marleau: i wish we could hang jane

1:54pm Marleau: like id kill to just watch a movie or some shit

1:55pm Jane: I know, me too. I’m sorry.

1:55pm Jane: Although granted I think you’d be terrible to watch a movie with

1:55pm Jane: I just have the feeling you chow down popcorn like a horse

1:56pm Marleau: calling me a handsome stallion are you, jane? 🏇

1:56pm Jane: Fuck off loser

8:15pm Marleau: shopped till u dropped yet?

10:22pm Jane: You sound like an old lady

10:22pm Jane: You know how crazy the tabloids would be if I told them Cliff Marleau is actually just a catty old lady in a grown man’s body

10:25pm Marleau: LOL shut up

10:25pm Marleau: id make u split the money u got for that crazy scoop

10:25pm Jane: Hahaha

10:30pm Marleau: what did u get up to?

10:30pm Marleau: been looking at cars with my agent

10:30pm Marleau: i like nice cars dont get me wrong

10:31pm Marleau: but i literally live 20 mins from rink

10:31pm Marleau: so i run to work then take the subway

10:31pm Marleau: but idk i want a car

10:32pm Marleau: like a flashy one. i cant show a girl im trying to date my beat up old lady car

10:32pm Jane: So you’re buying a whole new car to impress a girl 

10:35pm Marleau: ummm 

10:35pm Marleau: im killing two birds with one stone 

10:35pm Marleau: 😇

10:39pm Jane: Fair enough.

10:45pm Jane: Are you at home now then?

10:50pm Marleau: yea why 

10:50pm Jane: I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie. 

10:50pm Jane: Have you got Netflix?

10:52pm Marleau: im a 24 year old man 

10:52pm Marleau: of course i have netflix 

10:52pm Marleau: do YOU? 

10:52pm Marleau: i dont even know how old you are 

10:53pm Jane: I’m 25. 

10:53pm Marleau: ok so half of what i imagined

10:54pm Jane: Fuck off. Do you wanna watch or not?

10:54pm Marleau: okay awesome 

10:54pm Marleau: lets watch

10:54pm Marleau: i pick tho

10:55pm Marleau: are u a horror movie girl?

10:55pm Jane: I like horror movies alot actually. But I don’t find them scary if that’s what you’re really asking. 

10:57pm Marleau: jane ur the best

10:57pm Marleau: i love horror movies but they legitimately terrify roz 

10:57pm Jane: Ohhh I love you Marleau. You have just given me so, so much ammunition 

10:57pm Marleau: LOL 

10:57pm Marleau: okay lets watch this one

10:58pm Marleau: Attachment: 1 photo 

10:58pm Jane: Alright. Play at 11:00? 

11:00pm Marleau: done

11:00pm Jane: Done 

2:30am Jane: Who’s a loser who fell asleep before the end of the movie?

2:30am Jane: I’m just getting this feeling that it’s you, idk why

11:03am Marleau: fuuuuck

11:07am Marleau: did it end exactly how we predicted 

11:40pm Jane: Yep.

Chapter Text

French Kiss was a low-lit, booming club that Shane felt uncomfortable and strangely sticky in. They had weird sexual names for their cocktails that were slowly getting Hayden and J.J absolutely hammered; out of the sheer comedy they found in asking the bartender for several ‘Wet Orgasm’s and ‘Slippery Nipple’s. The slapstick humour Boston seemed to have just further made Shane’s eyes roll, as he couldn't help but think of course Ilya loves it here. Ilya probably has his own dirty cocktail named after him in several of the bars on the strip. But if there was one impressive thing about Shane besides his hockey- it was his ability to force a laugh so realistic that nobody questioned whether he was having a good time or not. And so, he sipped his Slippery Nipple, entertained a few quips on whether they’d run into Rozanov or not, and allowed himself to slink away from the conversation to people-watch in the dirty Boston nightclub. 

It was not hard to spot Cliff Marleau in the sea of sweaty bodies. He was unnaturally tall, loomed over all of the crowd like some sort of hairy streetlamp and his laugh was just boisterous enough to be heard over the bass buzzing in Shane’s ears. Shane could admit, though, to nobody in particular, that the man was growing on him.  Cliff Marleau wore a loose, practically fully unbuttoned shirt, and was talking into the ear of a warm brown skinned, curly blonde girl that clung to his waist. It only took a second of her walking past Shane’s table for the sweet syrupy smell of vanilla to hit his nose and, ah. That must be Jasmine, then. He watched as Cliff downed a series of shots without breaking his grin. 

“Is that Cliff Marleau?” Hayden slurred, sloshing his practically neon drink over in Marleau’s direction. “Holy shit it is!”

“We’re in Boston, and you’re surprised to see Cliff Marleau?”

“I’m just saying,” Hayden took another slurp of his drink through the curly straw, smacking his lips with an ‘ahhhh’. “Weird to see him without his right hand man. Should we go say hi?” 

“No!” Shane hissed. “I- I mean, no. Look, he’s with a girl. Don’t cockblock the poor guy.” 

“Capitaine, I respect that. ‘Ollander is right, if we go over there and she sees me she’ll leap into my arms and run away with me into the Boston night,” J.J raised his own biohazard looking drink into the air in a mock cheers. 

“Somebody please fucking get me out of here,” Shane muttered. 

“Are you having a nice time?” Marleau snaked his arms around the woman and pressed a soft kiss into the back of her neck. She hummed, idly playing with his fingers. They hadn’t left the dancefloor all night, getting progressively more and more handsy the more shots they slammed down. 

“Can we sit down?” She murmured into his hands. 

“Of course we can Jas.” He nodded, earnestly, using his arm to part the sea of strangers and steering her over to one of the sticky bar booths. “Is everything okay?”

“Mmm,” she mused. “I just, ugh. I hate doing this. Look, I really like you.” Marleau grinned and nodded once more. 

“But I think that this isn’t really, um. Look. I just, I think what I’m trying to say is that, you are really, really sweet. But I’m not sure that this,” she gestured a manicured hand between the two. “Is really.. I don't know, it’s not working for me?”

“...Oh. Oh, okay.” Marleau tried his hardest not to look like a wounded puppy as he picked at the skin next to his nails. “Yeah. No problem.” 

“I’m sorry,” she winced. Her little hands held his big clumsy ones, and she pet his face for a moment.

“Was it something I did?”

“No… No. You’re great. This just isn’t really working for me. It’s not you.” 

“Oh. Wow, ...okay,” he said after a while. 

“Friends?” She stuck her hand out. 

“Sure, whatever,” he said, taking it gingerly. She got up and pressed her glossy lips against his cheek, smiling sadly down at him, dumbfounded in the booth. 

“I think I’m gonna go then. Yeah? Have a nice night okay. I’ll text you?”

“Uh huh,” he waved her off, propping his elbows on the table. And then she was gone, nothing but the sweet smell of her lingering vanilla perfume turning sickly and curdling in his stomach. 

The drinks in his system and the sudden drop of his stomach was making him start to churn, feeling something rise a little in his throat. Fuck Jasmine, fuck French Kiss and fuck their shitty tequila. He clamoured up from the booth with clumsy feet and burst through the fire exit, just in time to hurl into their hydrangeas. There. Fuck your Hydrangeas too. Marleau leant over the Hydrangeas, head bent, the embarrassing sting of hot tears fresh in his lashes, and he hurled again, loud enough not to notice the door creaking open and shut beside him.  

“Marleau?” A soft voice called from behind him, barely above a whisper yet he still flinched. When Marleau turned around, Shane Hollander peered from around the alley; his usually stoic face laced with concern, woven into the creases and slight arch of his brow. He carried a gentleness that Marleau instinctively wanted to lean towards.  

“Fuck off Hollander. Don’t fuckin tell anybody.” He wiped his face and stood up from the sidewalk, making himself bigger and taller as he loomed over Shane in a feeble attempt to intimidate him.

“I won’t.” Shane’s voice was firm, and took a few steps closer to the tower of a man. Shane was watching him with gentle eyes, so as not to scare him away as if he were a wild animal, and Marleau’s lower lip wobbled. He clenched his fist instinctively. 

“Are you.. okay?”

Marleau scoffed. “Yes. It’s no big deal. Go back inside.” 

“Okay.” But he didn't move. Shane simply stood beside Marly and they watched the mice rustle their way through the alleyway in silence. 

“Is there.. Somebody you want me to get? That you can talk to?” Shane tried after a moment. 

“No. No, I came here…” Marleau felt a lump in his throat form and he swallowed it. “Um, I came here by myself, so.”

“Right. Okay, no problem.”

Marleau felt for his phone in his pocket and took it out, spinning it in his hands. 

“Hey Shane?”

“Yeah?”

“Um, sorry if this is weird, but.. is- is Jane with you guys?” He managed.

Hollander’s face flashed with a pained expression, mouth opening and hanging open as he considered what to say.

“Yes. But… She isn’t… here. Not right now.” He motioned between them with his hands, and gave him a soft sad smile.

“Oh. Okay.” He kicked at a crunched up can until it bowled straight into a pile of glass bottles. 

“I’m going back to the hotel early. Wanna get in my ride?”

“No, no. It’s okay. I’ll get my own.” He mumbled, and Shane raised an eyebrow at him.

“Please? Just get in my ride, you're on the way to the hotel anyway.”

“How do you know that?”

Shane looked like a deer in headlights for a moment, looking anywhere but Marleau’s eyes. 

“From your party?”

“Oh.” Makes sense, actually. “I forgot.” 

“Yeah,” Shane exhaled, with his mouth in a little ‘o’. “I’ll call the ride.” 

“So how do you know Jane?” Marleau asked, feeling incredibly awkward in the cramped Honda. Their knees knocked together as they clashed in the middle. 

“She…. works for the Metros. And.. I talk. To her.” Shane said after a while. 

Marleau hummed in thought. “Okay. Are you guys close?”

“You could say that, yeah.”

“What is that supposed to mean? You guys fuck?” Shane let out a snort. 

“No. We do not fuck. She is... more like family? I guess? I don’t know.”

Dang. Rozy was fucked up to date Hollander’s close friend like that. But then, could he blame him? Jane was awesome. 

“What about you?” Shane tried, and Marleau snorted back in response. 

“Secret.” 

The driver was humming a shitty love song that was making Marleau smell vanilla all over again. He rolled the window down a little, pressing his eyes shut. The car jostled along the empty Boston streets, gentle motion of tire on tarmac soothing Marleau’s stomach. 

“I’m gonna see how her nights going,” he said eventually, pulling his phone out. He squinted at the icons. 

1:01am Marleau: hey, how is ur night going? 

Shane’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he stifled a yelp. 

“No! She’s.. Out. Still. I think.” Shane faced the window and cracked his own open in an attempt to cool the fresh flush on his face. 

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I don’t want to ruin her night.” He slipped it back into his pocket. “I’m real sorry about this Hollander. I know this is really awkward, I mean we’re not even friends.” 

“Would that be so bad?” Hollander asked softly. He put hand gently on Marleau’s shoulder.

“No!” Marleau replied immediately, then dropped his brows, mortified with how quickly he answered. “No, not at all brother. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Okay.” Shane smiled and stuck his hand out. 

“So friends, then?”

Marleau’s face split into a grin and he pulled the man into a loose hug as best he could, thumping a big hand onto his back; an audible ooooff as his hands struck Shane’s back. “Yeah. Don’t tell Roz,” he winked, and Shane barked a laugh. 

When their driver pulled into Marleau’s avenue, he stumbled out of the car- slipping a 50 dollar bill through the window, and began walking away before Shane could slip it back.

“Preciate you Hollzy. Have a nice night. Sleep well, cause you won't after tomorrow,” he grinned, stumbling slightly on the sidewalk.

“Metros are gonna whoop your ass!” Shane yelled out the window as he drove off. As soon as the car rounded the corner, his phone buzzed.

1:08am Jane: My night has pretty much just ended. Gonna go home soon.

1:08am Jane: Why? Are you okay?

1:09am Marleau: ur like a psychic jane 

1:12am Marleau: jas broke things off with me 

1:14am Jane: Is she crazy? Why?

1:16am Marleau: i dont even know

1:16am Marleau: said it wasnt me it was her or some shit idk 

1:16am Marleau: i stopped listening after she said it wasnt working 

1:16am Marleau: felt like throwing up

1:18am Marleau: and then i did into their flowers

1:18am Jane: Tasteful. 

1:18am Marleau: and then the craziest thing happened

1:18am Marleau: well its not that crazy

1:19am Marleau: just surprising 

1:19am Marleau: shane hollander came out and asked if i was okay

1:19am Marleau: and i think he could tell i was upset

1:19am Marleau: should have known that guy was perceptive even off the ice

1:19am Marleau: and then he offered to share the ride home with me 

1:20am Marleau: and honestly he was really chill 

1:20am Marleau: weird 

1:20am Marleau: he said u guys are friends? 

1:22am Jane: Something like that, yeah.

1:22am Marleau: well it was weird

1:23am Marleau: but like not a bad weird

1:23am Marleau: idk 

1:23am Marleau: starting to like that guy unfortunately 

Jane reacted ♥️ to your message. 

1:25am Jane: I think he likes you too. It’s very hard not to. 

1:25am Jane: I’m sorry about Jasmine. She’s crazy, she doesn’t know what she’s missed out on.

1:25am Jane: Have a shower, get some sleep and let’s watch a movie tomorrow after your game if you want  

1:25am Jane: I’ll even let you pick 

1:27am Marleau: thanks jane 

1:27am Marleau: roz is a lucky guy to have u 

1:27am Jane: You’re a great guy Marly, don’t take this to heart. Sometimes people just aren’t feeling the connection. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person or if you’re good enough

1:27am Jane: Because you are, trust me 

Marleau reacted ♥️ to your message.

1:27am Marleau: love u jane 

1:27am Marleau: i’ll talk to u later yeah? 

1:31am Jane: Have a nice night, Marleau. 

-

1:32am Marly: u up?

1:33am Rozy: You sound like an ex gf 

1:33am Rozy: I am up. 

1:36am Marly: come over 

1:36am Rozy: Are you doing this on purpose?

1:36am Rozy: I’m not going to fuck you Marly

1:36am Marly: shut up 

1:17am Marly: just come drink with me 

1:37am Marly: i had a date 

1:37am Marly: it sucked 

1:46am Rozy: ETA 17 mins 

1:46am Rozy: For you I will make it 10 😉💦🚗

“Cliff Marleau,” Rozy purred, slinking into his home and kicking off his shoes. He carried a crate of beer. “You look like shit.”

“No kidding,” Marleau shut the door behind him and threw himself down on the couch. He fumbled with the remote and jammed his fingers onto the buttons until something vaguely action movie-esque appeared.

“Are you going to tell me what happened? With your date?” 

“I met a girl like maybe a month ago. We went on a couple dates, I really liked her. I thought things were, I don't know. I thought they were fine. And then I took her to the club today and she told me she ‘wasn’t feeling it’.” Marleau sighed, rubbing his temples. 

“Mm.” Rozy hummed. “Usually when they tell you that, is because they found someone new to fuck.” 

“That’s not helping, like at all. You’re such a jackass.” He threw the remote at Rozanov’s head and it landed with a soft ‘thunk’. Rozy rubbed at the spot gingerly, but didn’t retaliate. He cracked a beer open and took a swig. 

“You are right. I’m sorry. Marly, you are great guy. Super sexy, super good at hockey. You do not need, whats the word… validation,” he stressed, val ee dashen. “From this… What was her name?” 

“Jasmine.”

“Ah, yes. From this ‘Jasmine.’ At the end of the day, she is no one, and you are Cliff Marleau.” Rozy shrugged, like it was simple. And honestly, it actually made Marly feel a little better. 

“I guess. Just sucks because I thought we were doing good.” 

“Yes. It feels like that sometimes. With your family, with your friends, with girls at bars called Jasmine. Sometimes no matter how good you are you are left feeling like you are doing everything all wrong.” Rozanov offered him a kind smile. “But is not because you are bad. Sometimes is just like that. We click with people or we don't. Different strokes for different folks, yes?” He grinned, waggling his brows. 

“You don’t have that issue, though.” He pointed out. Rozanov’s smile faltered a little, and his brows pulled slightly together.

“I do. Just… not with relationship, yes? Girls love me Marly, so that doesn’t count. But..” He took a sip from his beer and swished it between his teeth. “But maybe family, yes. Sometimes I am trying my best to be good son and good brother, but sometimes is not enough. Even if everyone is getting along. Your family is like this too, maybe?”

Marleau felt like he was holding his breath so as not to startle Rozanov. This was probably the most personal conversation they had ever pried out of eachother, and he didn’t want to make Roz uncomfortable enough to deflect.

“Mm yeah. Maybe when I was younger. My mom and I didn’t click. I don’t think there was anything wrong with me, I just… I just don't think she wanted to be a parent. But my Grandma is like my mom and she rocks.” 

“Your babushka. Of course, you are babushka’s boy. I should have seen this,” Rozanov grinned, but there was a softer glint in his eye. They watched the shitty action movie in comfortable silence. 

“Fuck Jasmine. We are going to finish our one beer each and go to bed. And we are going to beat the shit out of Montreal and send them home crying. Plane might drown from salty Metro tears.”

“Yeah, fuck Jasmine. Thanks Roz.” 

“You are my best friend Marly. Shut the fuck up,” he said, voice warm and fond. 

When the movie ended, Roz was practically half asleep on the armchair beside the couch, the empty beer bottle slowly slipping from his grasp. 

“Do you need to drive home?” Marly asked, startling Roz awake who smacked his lips. 

“In the morning.” He mumbled, already standing up and heading for the stairs. “I will use your guest bedroom.” To which Marleau nodded in response.

“Oh and Marly?” He called from up the stairs. 

“Yeah?”

“Take a fucking shower. You stink of vomit and shitty tequila.”

Chapter Text

Marleau stank of sweat. And defeat, but mostly sweat. They had lost their game against the Metros, 4-3, and they were knocked from the playoffs. Rozanov was gutted, like he always was after a loss to Montreal, and sulked off to the lockers early. Marleau gave Hollander a little smile on his way out, as friendly as he could manage given the circumstances, to which Hollander grinned and waved a gloved hand in his direction. He hated to admit that hockey skills aside, the guy was pretty adorable. 

“Sucks we can't even drink tonight,” Connors pouted, a towel around his waist as he sauntered to the showers where Carmichael, Roz and Marly already were. 

“Is only one night Connors. Besides, you are like toddler after its bedtime after games like this. You take nap on the plane.” Roz declared, earning a towel whip from Connors. 

“I fucking hate Comeau, man. Guy plays so fucking dirty. That check was so unnecessary, look at my beautiful body,” Carmichael whined, pouting as he hucked his shirt up. Red patterned along his ribs already, and they all winced in unison. 

“Off the record advice,” Rozanov hummed. “Next time, check him back. Harder.” 

They showered in a comfortable almost-silence, bar a few jeers and dirty jokes that got lost in the steam. 

When the rest of them filed out, making their way to the entrance to file into the bus for the airport- Marleau scanned the heads for his seat neighbour. He couldn’t see those curls anywhere. Marleau set his bag aside and pushed the doors back open to the locker. 

“Что ты, блять, хочешь?/What the fuck do you want?” 

“Подожди, расскажи- что случилось./Slow down, wait- tell me what happened.”

“блять!/Fuck!” The sound of Rozy’s fist hitting the locker made Marleau flinch, and he leaned closer. 

“Я вылечу обратно, как только смогу. Куплю билет, как только закончу разговор./I’ll fly back as soon as I can,  I’m going to buy a ticket when I get off the phone.” He heard Roz slam the locker again, and snapped his head round to face Marleau standing sheepishly by the exit, only now realising he had been standing there. 

“Everything okay?”

“Fuck off Marly,” he snapped- then sighed, leaning his head back against the locker. “Is nothing. Just tell team I am flying back separate.”

“Oh. Did something happen?”

“Marly,” he bared his teeth, nostrils flared. Then shrank almost immediately, defeated. “Sorry. Just.. please. I will see you back in Boston.” 

“Okay. Sorry..” He waited for a moment. “Well… I guess I’ll see you back in Boston Roz.” Marleau spun on his heels and pushed through the exit. 

“Where’s Roz?” Connors yelled, and Marleau shook his head to Coach, who nodded. 

“Not coming. Something came up, I think.” 

“Boys missing a plane for some Montreal Jane? That’s dedication, man.” Connors chimed.

“Probably gonna fuck all that frustration out. Poor Jane,” Carmichael mused, and Marleau scoffed. 

“Can you guys shut the fuck up about Montreal Jane?” The smiles wiped off of their faces in an instant, and Marleau felt all of the Raider’s eyes on him. “Seriously, just fucking stop. He said something came up, so just leave it.” 

Nobody sat next to Marleau on the ride to the airport. Marleau was just boarding the plane when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

9:41pm Jane: Why isn't Ilya coming with you? 

9:48pm Marleau: i don’t know 

9:48pm Marleau: hes said he’s flying back separate 

9:48pm Marleau: not sure why. seemed angry

9:48pm Jane: Fuck

9:49pm Marleau: i hope hes okay

10:01pm Jane: Me too. 

He spent the majority of the plane ride biting the inside of his cheek, watching some sad dog movie he was too tired to actually get sad over. Connors snored beside him, drool running into the corner of his mouth, dead to everybody else on the plane, even as the air hostess that was definitely his type came trundling round with peanuts. Marleau felt a wicked satisfaction knowing she saw him, all double chin and drool, knowing he'd be mortified. When the plane finally jostled back down onto Boston soil- or, well, concrete- his phone buzzed twice in his pocket once more.

12:53am Jane: He won’t answer my texts

12:54am Jane: So I’m just assuming it’s family related. 

12:54am Jane: I guess we just wait for him to reply 

1:03am Marleau: i guess so

1:03am Marleau: hey dont worry jane 

1:03am Marleau: he’ll be okay

1:03am Marleau: he probably just needs some space

1:05am Jane: Yeah. I hope so 

1:05am Jane: Well done. With the game today.

1:09am Marleau: we literally lost 

1:09am Marleau: are u taunting me 

1:12am Jane: Never. You played well despite the loss. 

1:12am Jane: Even if your backhand needs somework

1:12am Marleau: asshole

1:12am Marleau: movie tonight? 

1:14am Marleau: pissed off about tonights game and dont want to drink

1:14am Jane: I’m game

1:14am Jane: Oops sorry

1:14am Jane: I’m down

Marleau reacted 👎 to your message

1:17am Marleau: LOL ur such a dick jane 

1:17am Jane: It was an actual accident! I swear

1:17am Jane: Lol 

1:17am Jane: But I’m down. I can’t guarantee I’ll be awake long, I’m really tired

1:18am Marleau: yeah thats no problem

1:18am Marleau: me too honestly 

1:18am Marleau: i got like 20 mins max 

1:19am Marleau: just feel weirdly alone tonight

1:19am Jane: Same.

1:24am Jane: Attachment: 1 photo

1:24am Jane: We’re watching this one 

1:24am Jane: Losers don't get to pick movies, so I’m picking this one 

Marleau reacted 💔 to your message. 

1:28am Marleau: fine 

1:28am Marleau: ill let u know when im home 

-

They both saw the tabloids the following morning, detailing the tragedy of Rozanov’s father. The article was tastless and showed little to no respect for Rozanov. It detailed his father's struggle with dementia, his decline in health over the years, resulting in the loss of his job. And then the eventual passing last night. A series of shirtless Rozanov photos were pasted hastily alongside the article, and it made Shane sick. 

11:09am Jane: Fuck

11:09am Jane: Are you awake?

11:09am Jane: Check this out 

11:10am Jane: Attachment: 1 photo 

12:34pm Marleau: shit man

12:34pm Marleau: yeah he was talking russian on the phone to someone in the locker room before we left

12:34pm Marleau: didnt sound good but i didnt realise it was this bad

12:34pm Marleau: man that fucking sucks

12:34pm Marleau: i hope hes okay

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and thumbed over to Rozy’s contact. 

12:49pm Marly: thinking of you brother. love you big time, take all the time you need. im always one call away. 

-

8:21pm Jane: I think I maybe love him man 

8:45pm Marleau: ur only just realising that?

8:45pm Marleau: what kind of twisted fantasy do u have to fall in love with a man because his dad died last week

8:48pm Jane: Omfg. You’re awful Marly, you know that?

8:48pm Marleau: LOL sorry

8:48pm Marleau: but what makes u say this now? 

8:49pm Jane: I called him and we spoke. And I think it was hard for him to translate what he wanted to say

8:51pm Jane: So I told him to just say it in Russian. I have no idea what he said, but it was so fucking beautiful I felt like I understood every word 

8:51pm Jane: I wish I knew what he said so fucking bad 

8:52pm Jane: It’s just crazy to think how he always has to translate himself for us. He was so well spoken when he talked to me in Russian, I could hear it. There was so much of what he was saying, and I just felt so sad that he’s blocked by language when he talks to us. It’s like we don't get to know all of him, right? 

8:53pm Jane: But I don’t know. I just felt really touched knowing he trusted me with whatever had been on his mind, even if I didn’t understand.

8:56pm Marleau: sometimes you say something so thoughtful and kind that i feel like such an asshole for never thinking about it before. i have literally never considered for one second that rozanov has to translate for us. im such an asshole 

8:53pm Marleau: ohhhhhh ur so in love janey janey jane 

8:56pm Jane: Yeah. I’m so fucked. 

8:57pm Jane: This is so bad. 

-

When Rozanov returned, sauntering into the lockers eliciting a series of ‘whoops’ and cheers of Captain, Captain, Captain, Marly couldn’t help but note he looked lighter. Perhaps not happier, no- but definitely as though a burden had been lifted off of him after going back to Russia. Marleau couldn’t help but wonder what kind of burden that had been. 

“Welcome back brother,” he grinned, and Rozanov flashed a cocky smirk in his direction, stripping his jacket off his shoulders.

“Did you miss me?” 

“Of course,” he blew him an exaggerated kiss, and Rozy caught it. He looked more ready for this game than ever.

They laced their skates in silence, exchanging a few nods and grins as they strapped their padding and helmets on. Roz gave them a speech, mainly just a mixture of yelling and riling them up like reactive dogs, until they all sprawled out of the doors and onto the ice. Marleau stopped, halfway through the swinging door. He propped it open with his foot and looked back at Rozanov, still strapping his helmet on. 

“Wait, Roz.” Rozanov looked up, hands still on the straps. He raised an eyebrow expectantly. 

Marleau flickered back to the conversation they had the night Jasmine broke things off with him. Sometimes I am trying my best to be good son and good brother, but sometimes is not enough.

“You weren’t a bad son, Roz. And I’m sorry if you never got to prove that.” 

Rozanov’s throat clicked as he clenched his jaw, the muscles tight. His fingers seemed to jumble at his helmet, until he clasped it into place, and pushed himself up off of the benches. 

“Thank you Marly. Let’s fuck Montreal, yes?” He said quietly, giving Marleau a small nod. They clinked their helmets together and raised a gloved fist to eachothers. 

“You got that right brother.”

Chapter Text

Hollander was on fire today. There was a glint in his eye that filled the Raiders with a private sense of dread, and paired with the way he shot across the ice with pinpoint precision, they were fueled with a determination to get rid of it. Hollander was a beast. A big nervous dorky beast that was all hockey statistics and froze when you so much as pointed in his direction- but a beast that Marleau knew not to be fooled by. His stickwork was immaculate, and you really had to be watching to outsmart him. 

But tonight, Marleau was watching. Marleau was watching so hard his eyes felt strained and blurry on the rink, watching for both Roz and himself, who he thought would be a little shaken given the circumstances. But Roz was smiling as he prowled through the rink; and danced past the little lanky #35- Pike, maybe the name was? He wasn’t really a threat to Marleau, so he didn’t bother with the names even if they were pasted on the back of his jersey. Roz had scored with an assist from Marleau, and Hollander had retaliated with two more of his own. Tonight they were all electric, and Roz and Marleau set up for another goal, only for the puck to be swiped by Hollander as he began launching himself in the other direction with the two of them hot on his trail. Hollander was going for a pass to #35- a small nod that Marleau noticed because he was fucking watching tonight, and so he surged forward to intercept. But Hollander noticed it just a second too late. He tried to accommodate and spun his blades to the side to turn, ice spraying at Marleau’s skates, and Marleau’s broad shoulders clashed into both Hollander and the boards with such a gnarly force it rattled his teeth. It took a moment for Marleau to catch his breath as he adjusted his helmet forwards. He pulled back from the boards to let the man pinned underneath him get his footing back, imagining he’d be winded. But the man underneath him let out a pained moan and crumpled to the floor like a ragdoll. Marleau blinked down at him, frozen. Holy shit. 

Shane Hollander fell to the ice with a soft ‘thunk’ and lay motionless on the ice, a little trickle of blood from his nose beginning to draw an ugly red streak down his cheek. His face was slack and he looked dazed, his usually stony brown eyes blurry, trying to focus on Marleau’s worried face looming above him. He wheezed, then gasped, a fish out of water- and Marleau instinctively began to crouch down to him.

“Marleau you motherfucker!” #35, ah yes, that was Pike, he thought, before Pike’s fist swung straight into Marleau’s jaw, and yanked him by the back of his jersey like a mother cat scolding its kitten. Marleau allowed himself to be pulled away, still half crouched, staring at the man who lay flat on the ice. He didn’t pay any attention to the throb in his jaw; simply stared as Rozanov skated closer. Marleau could barely make out what the man was saying. 

“Hollander?” Rozy peered into Hollander’s face, his skin a shade of green underneath the helmet. He leaned a little closer, “Shane?” he tried. Marleau and Pike met each other's eyes for a brief second until Pike’s grew cold again.  

The medics clamoured onto the ice, gently lifting a limp Hollander onto a stretcher. Both Marleau and Pike winced when Hollander made no sounds from being lifted so vigorously, before being jostled away to the exit. The loud jeers from the crowd had hushed into a cruel whisper; a suffocating clamour of worried fans and sneers. It was fucking eerie.

“Are- are we doing this or what?” Pike scoffed, starting to unwrap his gloves. His voice was wobbly but tried his best to keep it steady, a poor attempt at looking tough; and it was so ridiculous Marleau almost laughed out loud. Almost. He would have, if he wasn’t frozen with fear at the sight of Hollander’s limp body being carried away. 

“I didn’t even mean to hit him,” he mumbled. Hayden scrunched into a confused expression, and searched his face for any sort of emotion, but Marleau failed to show a recognizable one. 

The referees were pushing Rozanov back now, who skated backwards, eyes following the stretcher as far as he could until they slipped through the exit. They were steering him back to the benches, coming up to pass Marleau, and he didn’t protest. 

“Crazy, right? I didn’t realise he was gonna turn, it was an accident and I didn’t mean-”

Rozanov skated past without a word, checking Marleau’s shoulder with his leg. His jaw was clenched and he stuffed his hands into his sides with something unreadable in his eyes.

“Hayden, Qu’est-ce qu’il a branlé? You need to fucking watch where you’re going, putain!” J.J skated over to the two and nudged at Marleau with a harsh knee into his back.

The rest of the game was a mess. Rozanov was all over the place; a jumble of limbs and clumsy stickwork, and Marleau couldn’t even blame him. When he returned from the penalty box, he didn’t even really register his own feet skating on the ice, left, right, left- his body on autopilot that was ever so slightly out of tune. Rozanov didn’t even look at him, favouring the scrawny left wing who seemed thrilled to be finally acknowledged. They trudged on slowly, to their defeat, and Marleau barely heard the sound of the final whistle until he was dragged off of the rink. 

7:53pm Marleau: were you at the game?

7:53pm Marleau: i just fucking hit shane hollander

7:53pm Marleau: i didnt even mean to 

7:54pm Marleau: holy fuck 

Marleau got dressed in silence. The entire locker room chatted around him, poking fun at the sheer force he had hurtled into Hollander, recounting the game, and whining about their flight tomorrow morning. Bulldozer, they were nicknaming him, while Rozanov got dressed in record speed and was making his way out of the door without even bothering to shower. 

“Rozy. Why are you being so weird? I didn’t mean to hit him that hard. I- I didn't even mean to hit him in the first place.” Marleau tried, but Rozanov silenced him with a hand up. 

“You have done enough today Marleau. Go back to the hotel and shut the fuck up.” 

Rozanov’s departure carved a gaping silence through the space between them, the door slamming shut with a finality that lingered long after it finished echoing in the hallway. The words he left behind offered no room for argument, and no avenue for absolution.

8:39pm Marleau: jane?

8:39pm Marleau: rozy is so pissed at me man 

8:39pm Marleau: can u find out if hes okay for me?

8:46pm Marleau: please 

Montreal greeted him with a cold that felt cleaner than inside the arena, sharp against his lungs and swirling into the air on every exhale as he stepped onto the pavement. The city moved as it always did, indifferent towards Marleau with all the events that unfolded today, and Marleau felt some solace to by accepted by something, even if it felt like scraps at this point. He’d take what he could get tonight. 

He let himself get a little lost for a while. Lingered in the silent comfort he got from the city, his gear bag slung over one shoulder, using its awkwardly distributed weight to ground himself as he switched from shoulder to shoulder. The neon wash of storefronts reflected its colour onto wet asphalt, painting the street in sheer pastel reds and blues. Somewhere behind him, a group of fans spilled out of a bar, conversation buzzing and animated with the post game glow. He caught fragments; references to the game, references to the hit on Hollander tonight- but he did not turn to look.

The hotel was not far but the movement, however aimless, offered a thin reprieve. He could have called for a car, spared himself the distance, hell, he could afford to be practically flown back to the hotel, but the thought of sitting still in a space with nothing but how he felt tonight felt intolerable. It was hockey. People get hit all the time. But seeing Hollander sprawled across the ice with his large frame suddenly so small and fragile; he felt like a monster. His phone buzzed once, twice, and he scrabbled to pick up the call before he even read the contact. 

“Hello?” 

“Marlaaayyyyyy,” Connors yelled into the phone. “Mr Bulldozer!” The phone crackled with whoops. 

Marleau sighed loudly into the speaker, unsure why he thought Jane might have called, but still largely disappointed. “What do you want?” 

“Why aren’t you coming to drink with us?” 

“Fuck off, Connors.”

“Okay well have you seen Rozy? We want him to come and do shots,” the club bass was deafening. It had literally not even been an hour since their game. 

“Nope,” he replied, popping on the ‘p’ sound. 

“Alright well if you do tell him to leave Jane alone and come fuck us instead,” Connors hung up as the rest of the Raiders burst into laughter. 

Maybe that’s where he ran to. Maybe Jane was worried about Hollander, and Ilya had gone over there to comfort her. And that’s why Rozy was pissed, right? Because now his romantic plans to fuck all night had turned into consoling a worried girlfriend. That had to be it. An uneasiness snaked its way into his stomach again. Jane could respond, at the very least. They told each other everything. And he needed to know he hadn’t hurt Hollander serious enough to be out for the season. He’d give it until tonight until he really got upset about it. 

By the time the hotel came into view, its facade lit in a soft glow, fatigue had settled into his limbs. The automatic doors parted without much ceremony, ushering him into a lobby that smelled faintly of polished wood and something chemical. The staff at the desk offered the practiced politeness reserved for late arrivals; and as he returned it in his best kind, even voice, he couldn't help but wonder if they had seen the game and thought he was a monster too. 

His room was dim when he entered, the curtains half-drawn against the city’s glow. Rozanov had not come back yet, despite how long it had taken him to walk home, and his bed sat untouched. And honestly, Marleau didn’t expect to see him return. He set his bag down with more care than necessary, then threw his phone down on the bed and winced, the soft thud akin to Hollander’s thud on the rink. For a moment, he remained standing just beside the bed, unsure of what the next action required of him might be. Rest, perhaps. A shower, then go to sleep. Talk to his agent tomorrow. 

Marleau crossed to the window and pulled the curtain aside. Montreal stretched out below, and somewhere within that expanse, in a hospital room he could not picture clearly, Hollander lay suspended in a state Marleau had no clue how to remedy. The distance between them felt immeasurable.

10:04pm Marleau: can you please just answer me and tell me if hes okay

10:04pm Marleau: i get youre pissed montreal is your team lets go metros whatever but can you please just fucking tell me jane if the guys okay 

10:06pm Marleau: i didnt mean to hit him and everyones treating me like i killed him and honestly im getting worried now at this point that i actually did 

10:07pm Marleau: can you just put your patriotism to the fucking metros aside and talk to me please

10:23pm Marleau: jane????? 

Marly woke up laying on the edge of the hotel bed, his shoes still on and his jacket zipper pressing into his cheek; he must have stuffed it haphazardly underneath his head in a half-asleep attempt for a pillow. The curtain still hung open, and he cocked his head up to meet nothing but the empty Montreal nightlife. Rozy’s bed was still empty. 

1:14am Marleau: im sorry jane 

1:14am Marleau: i didnt mean that

1:17am Marleau: im just a bit worried

He felt restless, despite how much today’s game had drained him. Sleep didn't want to settle properly in his body the way it normally did; and every attempt only brought him back to the same moment; Hollander’s body hitting the ice, Roz’s sickly face and the Metros blinking at him like he was some sort of gnarled beast. Marleau dragged a hand over his face, rough- as if the friction of his calloused palms might scrub the image loose. The room had grown colder in the hours he’d been half-conscious. Or maybe that was him, he wasn’t so sure. 

He sat up slowly, the bed creaking beneath the shift of his weight, and glanced once more toward the empty second bed. Rozanov’s absence felt deliberate now, like some sort of petty punishment; there would be no distraction here, or any reassurance.

His phone lay beside him where he’d thrown it back down on the blanket, screen dark. No replies from Rozy or Jane. Marleau picked it up, turned it over in his hand, then set it back down again. He felt helpless; Jane wasn’t answering, Rozy wasn’t answering, even his agent had been quiet with an update. 

The decision; when it came, was not dramatic. He simply stood- not really bothered to change. His jacket was already on; his shoes were already laced albeit a little loose on his feet now. It felt almost as though some part of him had anticipated this hours ago. The hallway outside was silent, with the lights dimmed just enough to suggest the time of night it was without fully leaving the building in darkness. Marleau moved through it quickly, his head down, as if he might be stopped otherwise, though by who he couldn’t say. He watched the numbers on the elevator tick down without really registering them. The receptionist barely looked up as he passed, offering only a perfunctory nod that Marleau returned too late to be noticed.

Outside, the air was sharp enough to clear his head by force. Montreal at this hour felt bigger, emptier, and for a moment he hesitated on the steps, realising he had bolted upwards and down the lobby before he even had a plan. 

He didn’t know which hospital. He would, if Jane would actually answer him. Marleau exhaled sharply, irritation flickering through his nervousness. It didn’t matter. He would find out. He pulled his phone out and searched the closest hospitals to the rink, narrowing it down to the biggest one; because that just kinda made sense in Marleau’s head. Then he sifted through the TMZ articles, the sports news, every single Shane Hollander Injury article he could open, searching for anything that would pinpoint his location. It felt invasive, almost, to sift through Hollander’s business like this, but the alternative was going back to bed. 

Shane Hollander rushed to Montreal General after Cliff Marleau’s violent hockey attack. 

Marleau’s lip trembled a little and he frowned. He wasn’t violent. He never checked people too hard, he made sure of it. He never dropped his gloves first. He was big, clumsy and a little eager, but had always meant well. He began walking as he stifled a sniffle. 

By the time the hospital came into view, something in his chest had tightened to the point of near-pain. For a brief moment, he considered turning away. It would have been the easier option, and Marly knew that. For a little longer he could keep Hollander suspended in that undefined state a little longer, where he didn’t know for certain yet if he really was violent. 

The interior was jarring and bright and made no room for hiding. The air smelled faintly of antiseptic, along with that general hospital smell that Marleau put down to ‘total doom and despair’. A nurse at the desk glanced up as he entered, her expression shifting from her routine faux-politeness to a mild curiosity as she took in his appearance- she definitely recognised him but did a great job at hiding it as best she could. 

“Hi,” he said, voice rougher than he intended. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m, uhh. I’m looking for someone. He was brought in tonight. Hockey incident?”

“Marleau, right? Are you on his emergency contact list, or..?” she prompted gently.

He hesitated, just for a second. “Um, no.” 

“I’m afraid we’re all done with visitors for the night. He needs to rest. But, Mr Marleau, perhaps you can come back in the morning?”

“Uhh, I have a flight, and..” his voice trailed off. “Can you let me know if he’s okay atleast?” 

She was pretty. Her dark wavy hair stuck out of her scrub cap, and he was pretty sure that wasn't like.. sanitary, but she looked really cute and he decided not to dwell on it much longer. She had a gentle smile that dimpled just under her cheeks, and he wondered if he didn’t feel like such a monster tonight if he would have acted on that thought. 

“He’s not critical. Just injured, broken ribs. Concussion. Nothing that we cant fix, okay?” She grinned. 

“Thank fuck,” Marleau exhaled, and she laughed. Man, she really was pretty. 

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, Mr Marleau. It’s a dangerous sport. And for what it’s worth, I think it’s really sweet that you showed up.” 

“Cliff, just call me Cliff. And thank you.. I appreciate it. I feel a little weird tonight but I think I feel better knowing he’s going to be okay.” 

They exchanged a private smile and nod, and Marleau turned on his heels to begin his walk back home. As he stepped through the automatic doors, a thick cloud of smoke snaked inwards. 

“Dude seriously? What the fuck man, this is a hospital and you can’t smoke out here and- Rozy?”  

Rozanov leaned against the wall with one foot crossed over the other and took a dramatic drag of his cigarette. He looked like shit. He still smelled all sweaty, and Marly noted he hadn’t changed, either. The tip of his cigarette fizzled. 

“There is no sign to say I can’t smoke here, Marleau.” His voice was flat, and he sounded tired. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I am smoking.” 

“Asshole. I meant here..” He flapped his hands around between them. 

“Ah. I am waiting for the shifts to change so I can ask the new nurse on duty if she will let me go inside. I was too serious with this one,” he pointed at the nurse Marleau had spoken to, who was typing away at the front desk computer. “But she wasn’t feeling it. Need to be more flirty, I think.” 

“To go see Hollander? Have you… have you heard from him?”

“Marly, is concussion. He probably did not even call his mother.” 

Marly felt stupid. “Right, yeah. That makes sense. I just thought maybe Jane would have known something, so.” 

Rozanov looked up mid puff, his cheeks hollowed in as he looked up with a crazed expression in his eyes. 

“Why would Jane know anything?” 

“Well she works for the Metros, right? That’s what she said. I’ve always said I think she’s one of the team medics or something, and she’s never really denied it. So I just thought she probably gets caught in the loop for these things.” 

It took a while for Rozanov to respond, taking another dramatic exhale of smoke and watching it get swept away by the wind. 

“Yes. But you can’t talk to Jane right now.” 

“What? Why? Is she mad at me?” 

“Yes,” Rozanov replied immediately. “That is why.” 

“But I didn’t even do it on purpose! I had no idea he was going to turn, that’s so unfair!” Marleau was frustrated almost to the point of tears now, his hands up in a frozen shrug, embarrassed with how upset this whole thing was making him. 

“Marly, hey. Is okay. Is just… Women. They are like this Marly.” Rozanov shrugged like he didn’t really believe the sentiment. 

“I don’t think that's something you’re supposed to generalise about women,” Marleau scoffed. 

“Look at you, she is mad at you and still you are defending her.” Rozanov laughed, satisfied with the upwards curl Marleau’s lips showed for a brief moment. 

“I’m just saying. I’m mad that she’s so mad but I’m not an asshole. Can’t you talk to her?” 

“Mmm, no. She is mad at me too probably. I think she will want some time to herself.” 

“That’s stupid. She’s acting as if she’s the one concussed,” Marleau muttered. Rozanov snorted. 

“I just,” Marleau began, his voice cracking. “I just feel like I’m doing everything wrong lately.” His voice broken into the beginning of a sob.

Rozanov squished his cigarette into the brick wall and tossed it in the garbage, turning to Marleau with a face of concern. Tears pooled in his lashes and he didn’t bother to blink them away. 

“Hey, hey Marly. Is okay. Is not your fault, okay?” Marleau nodded, but let them fall down his cheeks, before grunting with frustration and wiping them off his face with his scratchy sleeve. 

“It’s so dumb. I shouldn’t even be upset. You have it so much worse at the moment than me, man. I’m sorry.” 

“Shut the fuck up Marly,” Rozanov said, but there was no bite to it. He put a hand around Marleau’s shoulder and jostled him lightly. “Is okay. Let’s go back to hotel and we will visit Hollander in the proper visiting hours, yes? Before we go home. I think… I think he will not want to see us so early in the morning anyway.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. Fuck man. Why are you even out here so early anyway? Why do you want to see Hollander so bad?” Rozanov’s hand tensed on his shoulder. 

“Is just… Good captain thing to do. And I have no Jane tonight, so.” 

“Oh. Right, sure. Makes sense.” He thumbed for his phone. “I’ll get the ride.” 

Rozy passed out immediately after his shower. It took Marleau a while, watching the night sky out of the window, until his eyes drooped and ached to keep open and he forced himself to try to sleep. Gingerly, he put his head down, on the real pillow this time- and listened to the sound of Rozanov’s soft snoring as he tried his best to quiet the noise in his head. Marleau did his best to ignore the nagging suspicion, but one lingering question stayed, persistent and sharp at the edges.

Why the fuck was Rozy going to wait all night at the hospital for Hollander?

Chapter Text

Rozy woke up first. Marleau could tell he was awake, buried beneath the cheap hotel pillow that was somehow plumper than his own; he could hear the man’s feet shuffling around the hotel room. He already had his shoes on from the sound of it, and Marly let the sound of feet hitting the carpet soothe him for a moment longer. It was not until he heard the keys jingling that he lifted the pillow from his head; Rozanov, with his jacket and said keys in hand, was about halfway out the door when he turned at the disturbance behind him. He wore a sheepish look that looked genuinely surprised to be caught out in his silent exit. 

“I was getting coffee. You want?” Rozy lied with a weak smile.

“Liar. You said we’d go and see him together. Give me five minutes.”

The Montreal morning welcomed both boys with a cold that bit at their noses; pink cheeks and bundled scarves, the monotonous drawl of feet on concrete as they trudged through the quiet streets. Marly felt a little lighter this morning, but still no response from Jane. They pulled into a coffee shop on the way, a couple odd minutes too early still for the visiting times to open. The bell jingled as they pushed the door open, and a little black and white Border Collie bounded into their knees, tail threatening to fall off with how fast it was wagging it. Rozanov crouched to his knees immediately, letting it bound into his chest with a small “ooof” at the impact. 

“Shchenok!” he cooed, scratching behind its ears. “Where is your mama and papa?” 

“Sorry! She’s a little crazy,” A woman called from the back of the store, standing up from her table to retrieve the dog. She was a small, Asian lady, with unfairly shiny hair and manicured hands; wearing a little black trench coat that looked ridiculously expensive. She looked incredibly familiar, but still, Marleau had no idea why she scowled at the sight of them.

“Is okay, I don’t mind!” Rozanov said, looking up. He seemed to freeze in place upon seeing the woman. “Oh…!”

“Ilya Rozanov and Cliff Marleau.” she said, sounding a lot more stern than she had before. “I thought you’d have flown back after your loss, no? Why are you still in Montreal?” Okay, ouch. 

“Err, we are flying late morning, Mrs Hollander.” Mrs Hollander. Marleau’s jaw dropped and Roz elbowed him hard to close it. He felt like he could die on the spot.

“Oh! Mrs Hollander. I’m Cliff Marleau,” he stammered, and cringed. Somebody please shoot him right here and now. This was singlehandedly one of most mortifying moments in his life like, ever. 

“Yes. I just said that. You look in much better shape than my son right now,” she quipped, her glossy lips pursed in a straight line.  

“Yuna,” a man’s voice called gently. “Take it easy on the kid. He looks terrified.” A pink cheeked older man sat at the table drinking a cup of coffee, who Marleau assumed to be Hollander’s father. 

“I-I’m sorry, Mrs Hollander. It really was an accident. It was a dangerous intercept. And I really do feel very very bad. Hollander is amazing, and- we’re on our way to go and see him so we can- well, so I can apologise. Is that.. Is that okay?” 

“Oh.” She pulled a face. “Well that’s.. Not what I was expecting. That’s kind. I’m not sure if he’s up for visitors like you, but you can try.”

And Marleau, on his very best behaviour, tried his best not to take that personally. He nodded gratefully instead, and trailed his eyes down to the dog. He couldn’t help himself, as well mannered as he was. 

“Please can I pet your dog?” 

Mrs Hollander rolled her eyes and gestured towards the dog with an exasperated nod. He crouched down and let the dog lick his hand, stroking it on the head like he would his cat. She blinked, visibly confused- but nonetheless appreciative of his efforts. 

“She’s not ours. Just looking after her for a friend.” 

“Well she is very cute, ma’am.” 

“God don’t call me ma’am. Makes me feel so old.”

“Yes ma-am- Mrs Hollander. Sorry Mrs Hollander.” 

Rozanov stood up and cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Is very nice meeting you two. We do not have much time. Flight is soon, so.. We are going to go now. Thank you.. for, err.. dog.” 

“Yes,” Marleau nodded. “A pleasure meeting you. Well not a pleasure, I know I hurt your son and everything, but you seem very nice, well Hollander is very nice, so-“ Marleau was being tugged out the store by his hand and he gave them an awkward wave.

“Oh my God man,” Marleau exhaled as they stepped back out onto the street. Rozanov spluttered a laugh; his face was red and he looked like he was going to pass out.

“That was bad. That was really bad. And we didn’t even get coffee.” 

-

“Marleau, he’s probably all…” Rozanov waved his hands around his head. “Maybe he will say things that don’t make sense, yes?”

“Uhh, yeah. I know concussion protocol, idiot. I’m not gonna make fun of him. I don’t even really care if he remembers I was there or not. I just wanna see if he’s alright, and I can apologise, yeah?” He received a curt nod from Rozanov in response.

“Hollander?” Rozanov called out, slowly opening the door. Hollander lay in the hospital bed, a mass of pure muscle that was splattered blue and purple- laying awkwardly underneath the covers. A dopey expression on his face as he fumbled with the bandage that seemed to wrap all of his forehead. His scratched up face lit up at the sight of the two in the doorway.

“Heeeyyy! My two favourite people!” Hollander said, eliciting a splutter from Rozanov. Marleau laughed, feeling the tension loosening in his shoulders. Hollander was fine enough to be cracking jokes, atleast.

“Hi Hollander,” they both responded in unison like schoolchildren. 

“How you doing brother?” Marleau asked.

“M’fantastic. They have me on the good stuff man,” Hollander grinned. He looked so different like this; all slack and lazy with a relaxed expression that Marleau never would have imagined on the usually serious man’s face.  He wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands as he penguin-waddle shuffled towards the end of the hospital bed.

“Hey, that's awesome. Look, I’m like.. I’m really sorry, Hollander. I didn’t mean to hit you.”

“Marly,” he slurred, a grin plastered on his face. Marly? Marleau looked at Rozy awkwardly, who looked vastly uncomfortable. “Shhh. It’s all love man. We all get our bell rung eventually, right?” Hollander’s eyes flickered to Rozanov, who was still peering through the doorway. He lit up again like he had forgotten he had just walked in two minutes ago. 

“Ilya!” Hollander mused, a smile on his face that crinkled into the corners of his eyes.

“Hi Hollander.” Rozanov mumbled with an unusually tight jaw, going to sit on one of the shitty hospital chairs. “Marly is very sorry he hurt you.”

“Yeah, I know that. He just said that, Ilya.” Hollander mocked, stressing the last syllable of Rozy’s name. 

“Da, okey. Just saying. How is your head?”

“Yes. Better. Bet-ter.” Hollander demonstrated by nodding, then winced. “I’m mostly mad at Marleau for messing up our plans.”

“Hollander,” Rozanov warned.

Marleau cocked an eyebrow up at Rozanov. He couldn’t help himself. “Your plans? The fuck? I thought you were gonna go out with Jane last night.”  

“Yes! Jane. Janey Janey Jane. “ Shane mused, oblivious to the way Marleau narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. That’s what he called Jane. There’s no way Hollander knew that. What the fuck was going on? 

“Lily and Jane.” Hollander mouthed the words a couple times and hummed, amused.

 “Who’s Lily?”

“..Hollander is talking to Lily. I am talking to Jane. Unfortunately for us, they are friends. And they are wanting us to meet, so..” Rozanov explained with an impressive stoicism regardless of how hard he clenched his fist.  It was almost enough to fully convince him, had Rozanov not been anxiously fiddling with his box of cigarettes on the table. “Oh, right, okay.” He said, hiding his suspicion with a breezy smile. “Sounds complicated.”

Hollander snorted.

“Yes. Well we have seen Hollander now, so.. We get on plane, yes?”

“You should take a picture,” Hollander said out of nowhere. He was smiling at a blank spot on the door like it had said the most interesting thing in the world.

“Huh? Of what?”

“Of this,” Hollander giggled like a schoolgirl. “Jane would find it funny.”

Marleau looked over to Rozanov, unsure, who seemed to be strangely amused by this comment despite his anxiousness. He shrugged.

“Uhh… Yeah, okay buddy.” Marleau took his phone out and leaned over the hospital bed to get his cheek next to Hollander’s. Rozy did the same, pressing his face right up against Hollander’s, who found this hilarious and giggled. He snapped the photo mid laugh.

“Send it to Jane!”

“No. Not now, Marly. I think.. maybe Jane will not want to hear from us just yet.”

This whole situation was getting weird and Marleau just wanted to get on the plane now. He couldn't even pinpoint why, but he felt like he was being held hostage in this tiny hospital room and he would never see the light of day again unless it was through the stupid tiny circular window.

“I think we should go now. Uhh, Hollander? It was nice to see you. And I’m sorry.”

“Shane,” he said. “Just call me Shane, Marly.” There it was again. Marly. 

“Yeah, sure Shane. Hope you rest up and feel better soon brother.”

“Nice seeing you guys. Thank you both, for coming.” Shane said, giving them a shy smile. 

“Yes. Bye Hollander.” Rozanov mumbled, as they slid out of the door. 

-

“You’re staring.” Rozanov said, as they walked through the ward. 

“I’m not.”

“Liar.” 

“Okay, just a little. I just think… you and Hollan- Shane, are much friendlier than I expected.”  Rozanov muttered something Russian that sounded like a curse, and reached into his pockets.

“We have talked a few times. I feel bad for him. He is nice guy, when we are not rivals, and- блять! My cigarettes,” Rozanov began to turn on his heels.

“Bro, just buy new ones?”

“I will be two seconds Marly. You can buy us coffee?” 

Marleau obliged. He didn’t really want to go back into Hollander’s room, and he honestly didn’t really know why. So he queued in a queue that was outrageously long for a hospital canteen, for two cups of shitty hospital coffee in shitty styrofoam. When Marleau was finally handed the coffee, Rozanov rushed back looking dazed. Marly had been in the queue for atleast 10 minutes, and it really wasn’t that far from Hollander’s ward. 

“Did you get them?”

“Huh?” 

“...Your cigarettes?”

“Ah. Da, yes.” He pulled them from his pocket and shook them in Marly’s face, taking one of the scalding hot cups from his hands. 

“He called me Marly,” Marleau said after a moment. They were on their way back to the hotel now, sipping their coffees in a comfortable silence. Rozanov coughed a mouthful of coffee down.

“Okay. So?” 

“I don’t know. Not a lot of people call me Marly. It was weird.” 

“Marly is short for Marleau,” he said, like he was saying something profound. 

“Yeah I know that. It’s literally my name.” 

“Okay, so why are you confused someone is giving you, what's the word- nickname?” 

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem like a nickname guy. It’s whatever.”

“And how do you know what kind of guy he is?” Rozanov said with a sigh. 

“Yeah. You’re right. I guess we don’t. Right?”

“Da.” 

-

Thank fuck Marleau was finally home. As much as he loved Roz, these last couple days had drained all the energy out of him, and he was glad to be home by himself tonight without the Russian’s snoring. Marleau started a load of laundry he would 100% forget about until it stank of mildew, showered until the water ran cold, and plopped himself down on the couch. If only Jane would answer him. They could watch that new movie they had been planning to watch, and- Hollander called him Marly. Jane wasn’t answering him, and Rozy stayed up all night to see Hollander at the hospital. Why was this all so fucking weird? Something felt off and sour and Marleau wracked his brain best he could to try and figure it out; but to no avail. He decided to do some detective work of his own.

11:31pm Marleau: hey, heard u werent feeling well jane

11:33pm Marleau: hope u feel better soon.

He shifted in his bed, feeling uncomfortable for lying. But he had to know, right? 

12:04am Jane: Thanks. Talk soon :) 

Huh.

Chapter Text

Shane reached under the pillow for his phone and groaned, ignoring the splitting headache that throbbed angrily at the front of his forehead. The bed was too small. His feet pressed straight into the wooden slats, he felt the headboard tickle at his hair; and he was practically one turn away from landing straight onto the carpet floor. He didn’t even really know what time it was, the concussion had left him irritable and confused which had only irritated him further. It did not help that his mother was a tad too overbearing, either. She babied him; a little extra than she normally did- hell, she would have spoonfed him if he had asked, mutters of “manage your screentime sweetie,” and “it’s bedtime now, let's brush our teeth okay?” He felt useless like this; a waste of brilliance that had been left sitting out on the side, simply a matter of time until he spoiled and they deemed him too rotten to be worth the contract and headlines. 

The sun had just begun to set, spilling into his childhood bedroom window with a soft pink hue that stained everything with warmth. Shane had been alternating between sleeping all day and listening to old hockey podcasts with the volume as low as possible. This was not an ideal way to spend his days at all for Shane Hollander. It showed in the way he behaved, if you knew what to look for. His phone buzzed quietly.

3:14pm Marleau: sooo can we talk about the hollander hit?

3:14pm Marleau: and why u were upset with me?

3:40pm Jane: I’m sorry that I didn’t message you. 

3:40pm Jane: Wasn’t upset, promise. 

3:41pm Jane: But I don’t want to talk about it. Sorry

3:44pm Marleau: alright janey 

3:44pm Marleau: so ur not mad

3:46pm Jane: Not mad.

Each letter felt like he was carving it straight into his head with a rusty blade; it stung the backs of his eyes; swirling into the nerves behind his jaw and throbbed at his neck and shoulders. 

3:49pm Marleau: okay

3:50pm Marleau: so if ur not mad can we talk about how i checked hollander into the boards so hard i broke his collarbone 

3:50pm Marleau: i felt like i had literally killed him he crumbled underneath me 

3:51pm Marleau: hayden pike tried to fight me and i literally was frozen i couldnt move 

3:51pm Marleau: and rozy was so mad at me too 

3:52pm Marleau: WAIT AND

3:52pm Marleau: u didnt even want to tell me u guys are friends?? u rozy and hollander are friends and u just what. hang out?? 

3:53pm Marleau: wtf is up with that

4:21pm Jane: Is that what Ilya told you?

4:21pm Marleau: that's what HOLLANDER told me 

4:21pm Marleau: we went to see him 

Shane gaped, jamming the power button on the TV remote. The room had fallen so quiet Shane could hear the LEDs clink off inside it one by one before it switched off entirely. He tried to remember the night he was kept in the hospital. His parents had visited him; he remembered that much. He remembered his mom’s little hand in his, trying not to cry as if it embarrassed her to be so upset. He remembered Ilya’s worried face peering at him from behind the door and- fuuuuuck. He remembered asking Ilya to come with him to his cottage this summer. The little ‘O’ shape that his mouth formed in surprise, the soft raise of his eyebrows… the vague answer. Was Marleau there? Did he hear it all? No, surely not. There’s no way Marleau would know that information and still look at him the same. There’s no way he would make that discovery and still want to talk to Jane either. 

4:35pm Jane: You did???

4:35pm Marleau: yes 

4:35pm Marleau: actually look

4:35pm Marleau: Attachment: 1 photo 

4:36pm Marleau: we went to apologise

He stared dumbfounded at the photo. Shane looked like shit, pressed in between the two boys with a dopey grin and an expression he had literally never made in his life before. On his left was Marleau, bent down to face level and leaning next to Shane with his nervous smile, a man of 75% jaw and stubble; and on his right Ilya’s cheek pressed so hard into Shane’s that it was squishing Shane’s face up into his eyes. Ilya's smile was a secret, gnarled grin; he looked like he wanted Shane to see this photo; and judging by the shark-like glint in his eyes he knew Shane would know this, too. 

4:37pm Jane: What did he say?

4:37pm Marleau: nothing really he was high as a kite

4:38pm Marleau: told me to call him shane 

4:38pm Marleau: and to take a photo to show u 

4:38pm Marleau: and that u guys had plans that night to hang out 

4:39pm Marleau: THAT U NEVER TOLD ME

4:39pm Marleau: i thought u would keep me looped in on that gossip 

4:39pm Marleau: ur having meetups with hollander and his mysterious gf and u didnt think i would want to know that

4:43pm Jane: We're just friends.

4:43pm Jane: Sorry. I didn’t think it was important. 

4:46pm Marleau: THAT IS SO IMPORTANT. WTF. THATS SO JUICY JANE 

4:47pm Jane: Sorry!

4:49pm Jane: Did Shane say anything weird? 

4:50pm Marleau: like what?

4:50pm Jane: Haha I dont know. Like just anything that was weird

4:51pm Marleau: umm yeah. that whole conversation i just told u was weird 

4:51pm Marleau: i didnt know hollander and roz talked enough to make plans 

4:52pm Jane: But like anything else? About their plans? 

4:52pm Marleau: now UR being weird

4:53pm Marleau: look is there something u want to tell me? 

4:53pm Jane: Nope.

4:54pm Marleau: but would u tell me if there was?

4:54pm Jane: I have no idea what you’re talking about. 

4:54pm Jane: Talk later? 

4:55pm Marleau: yes ma'am

-

Jane was lying to Marleau. About what? Well, he couldn’t really put his finger on it; but he definitely knew that Jane has been acting skittish ever since he hit Hollander on the ice. He wondered if she hated him, for hurting him as badly as he did. It took him a while not to hate himself. But Jane had carried on chatting as if nothing had even happened two weeks ago, and Marleau didn’t object, just happy not to be tossed aside. He sat sprawled on his couch, watching the Admirals v Knights on his TV at an obnoxiously loud volume. 

6:54pm Marleau: i hate scott hunter

6:54pm Marleau: thats a lie hes a pretty chill guy 

6:57pm Jane: You’re just pissed the Admirals knocked you out of the finals.

6:57pm Marleau: atleast we got further than the metros asshole

6:58pm Jane: And all you needed to do was knock out their team Captain? 

6:59pm Marleau: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

7:01pm Marleau: are u ever going to let that go

7:09pm Jane: No. But only because I enjoy teasing you about it

7:09pm Marleau: theres something incredibly evil inside u

7:12pm Marleau: some sort of hateful spirit we need to cleanse

7:15pm Marleau: maybe our first meetup can be an exorcism

7:18pm Jane: Shut up

7:23pm Jane: Are you watching the game?

7:23pm Marleau: uhhh, duh 

7:26pm Jane: Don’t give me attitude Bulldozer

7:26pm Marleau: i told u that in confidence 😢

7:26pm Marleau: i never want to hear that nickname again

Jane reacted ♥️ to your message.

7:33pm Jane: Scott Hunter is on fire today

7:33pm Marleau: hes just excited to get this game done

7:38pm Marleau: so he can retire

7:42pm Jane: You sound like Ilya

7:42pm Marleau: LOL

8:20pm Marleau: im glad they won atleast 

8:20pm Marleau: hate LA kings more than scott hunter 

Scott Hunter hoisted the cup above his head, a face of sweat and glory- knocking his helmet against his teams as they clamoured together. Marleau watched him scan the crowd, he was looking for someone- then beckoned them to come down to the rink. 

The camera struggled to find who he was beckoning at, until they landed on her, and- no, a man stood up from his chair and began to make his way down the rink. 

8:23pm Marleau: wtf is he doing?

8:23pm Marleau: who is that?

The man was handsome. A little blush was on his cheeks; perhaps from the cold rink or the commotion, Marly wasn’t really sure. Marleau watched with his jaw hanging open as they crashed their lips into eachother; smiling into eachothers faces as they melted into eachothers bodies- Scott’s shaking hands finding the back of the man’s head like he knew exactly where to hold him. 

8:25pm Marleau: holy shit

8:25pm Marleau: are u watching??

8:25pm Marleau: jane?? 

8:26pm Marleau: scott hunter just kissed that guy

8:26pm Marleau: holy shit 

8:26pm Marleau: JANE DONT DISAPPEAR ARE U WATCHING

He scrabbled to Rozanov’s contact, barely taking his eyes off of the screen. It was both the craziest and the most sweetest thing he had ever seen in his life. 

8:27pm Marly: rozy are u fucking watching??

8:27pm Marly: am i seeing that right 

8:27pm Marly: roz???

Chapter Text

3:14pm Marleau: what are u doing for off season?

3:14pm Marleau: u must surely get time off for off season like we do right

3:14pm Marleau: no broken bones to fix if we’re not playing

3:15pm Marleau: or tweets to write idk 

3:49pm Jane: I actually wanted to tell you

3:50pm Jane: That I invited Rozanov to come to Ottawa with me for 2 weeks. And he said yes.

3:50pm Jane: But don’t tell him cause I’m really nervous and I don’t want to put him off by making it a thing

3:50pm Jane: I’m being casual. This is so chill.

3:52pm Marleau: JANE !!!!!!!!!!

3:52pm Marleau: omgomgomomgomgomgomgomg

3:52pm Marleau: i’m out right now with rozy so PLEASE can we talk about this when i’m home 

3:52pm Marleau: JANEEEEUHHHHH

3:52pm Jane: I know! 

3:53pm Jane: I just keep thinking wtf are we going to do? What if he doesn’t like it?

3:53pm Marleau: park this convo right here i will debrief with u as soon as im home okay 

3:53pm Marleau: stay strong soldier. home at like maybe 8  🫡

3:54pm Jane: Roger 🫡

3:54pm Marleau: who tf is that 

3:55pm Jane: Are you fucking serious? It’s what the soldiers say?

3:55pm Marleau: ???

3:56pm Jane: I love you man. You’re hopeless

3:56pm Jane: What are you doing for off season then?

3:56pm Marleau: i’m not rlly sure either tbh 

3:56pm Marleau: might roadtrip somewhere

4:03pm Jane: Not going to Oregon?

4:15pm Marleau: my grandpa’s sick apparently 

4:15pm Marleau: i did ask, i said id help take care of him

4:15pm Marleau: but she said he doesn’t want to see any visitors right now 

4:18pm Jane: Oh okay. I’m sorry. I hope he gets better soon

4:22pm Marleau: thx janey janey jane <3 

Marleau slipped his phone back into his pocket and ignored Rozy’s playful eye roll across the booth. It was surprising how chill Rozy had been with the whole ‘being friends with Jane’ thing, but he was grateful, nonetheless. Rozy had fondly stated he was just “happy Jane had someone to be boring with,” and only really chirped about their friendship to tease.

“What are your plans for the off-season Rozy?” Marleau took a swig of the beer he had been nursing and shifted in the leather booth. Rozanov shrugged and fiddled with his glass of vodka.

“We are in off-season now Marly. My plan is drinking with you today.” 

“Dick. I meant what about the rest of the season? Are you going back to… y’know?”

“Are you scared to say the word Russia?”

“No,” he lied. Because yeah, kinda. “Just wondering.”

“I am going home, yes. Very boring. Won’t be doing anything fun. Pray for me and send me pictures, yes?” 

“So you’re not going to see Jane at all?” 

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’ with a smack of his lips. There it was again. Why were they hiding around him now?

 “But you cannot have her to watch movies. I am too selfish yes? Maybe, if I watch too.” 

“Dude no way. You pick the worst fucking movies,” Marleau nudged at him with his elbow, and they laughed; watching Connors and Carmichael stumble their way into the bar. It was relatively empty, mostly due to it being the early afternoon, the only people really being old guys who came to watch the game. 

“You are going to stay with your Babushka in off season?” 

“I wanted to, but my grandpa’s sick at the moment. I don’t want to make him any worse, so.” 

“Ah. I’m sorry.” Rozy offered him a soft smile that he shifted into a smirk for Marly’s sake; as the other two Raiders slipped into their booth.

-

Marleau walked back home, opting not to take the dingy subway. It was a beautiful evening; he was a comfortable level of drunk, the sun had just started to set- and Marleau found some solace in walking around in the warmth. Boston was a beautiful orange and pink and the air felt cool on his face. Today had been so good. He took a seat on one of the park benches and reached for his phone.

@ilyarozanov81 mentioned you in a post.

ilyarozanov81: sexy boston boy (and marleau) #offseason #bostonraiders 

A selfie of Marleau and Rozanov in his Porsche. Marleau is sitting in the passenger seat in a tank top, giving the phone the finger. Rozanov has a cigarette hanging from his lip. 

cliffmarleau7: smokin hot 🚬🚬 and roz is there!

He switched to his messages with a chuckle, slipping his headphones in to jog the rest of the way home.

7:05pm Marleau: hi ma, hope grandpa’s doing okay

7:06pm Marleau: let me know if u want me to come give u a hand, i’ll drop everything i promise

7:07pm Marleau: groceries are coming tomorrow at 1 okay? i put in the notes they need to help you with the heavy stuff

7:07pm Marleau: love u so much ma 

7:12pm Grandma ♥️: Love you so much my handsome Cliff X  

He was about 20 yards from his home when he heard the noise; a strained yowl from the bushes. Puzzled, he yanked out one headphone and stood still, waiting for whatever the noise was to happen again. He was just about to start jogging again when the bushes behind him rustled, and something leapt out at Marly straight into his feet. 

“You’re kidding! Oh my fucking god. Bro, you are so small,” Marleau gasped as his voice raised to an octave you would have never thought possible from the man. A little scraggly cat yowled at his feet, winding itself through his legs. It was a small, white and brown spotted cat, practically nothing but bones and big yellow eyes that blinked up at Marly expectantly. 

“Bro!” He said to no one in particular. “Can I take you home?” 

The cat meowed as if satisfied with this proposition, a gruff low pitch meow that sounded closer to an old man yell. To which Marleau melted, bending over and swooping the cat up into his arms. It curled itself into his tricep, content. 

7:33pm Marleau: what are u doing right now?

7:33pm Jane: Reading. 

7:34pm Marleau: reading what 

7:34pm Marleau: how to be a good host so the guy i’ve been seeing “casually” will tell me he loves me and won’t run away and then we can meet marleau 

7:36pm Jane: Yeah. I’m on chapter 2, this isn’t a good book. 

7:36pm Jane: I’m looking at a cookbook actually 

7:36pm Jane: Trying to find meals that are interesting that fit my diet 

7:37pm Jane: What’s up? Do you need me?

7:37pm Marleau: what kinda diet are u on?

7:39pm Marleau: uh yeah kind of 

7:39pm Marleau: ur just probably the most responsible person on my contact list 

7:39pm Jane: What did you do?

7:43pm Jane: Answer Marly 

7:46pm Marleau: Attachment: 1 photo 

A cat on the edge of his bed, laying stomach up.

7:46pm Marleau: i found it on the street

7:46pm Jane: Oh my god that cat probably has fleas 

7:47pm Jane: Do NOT put it on your bed 

7:47pm Jane: So you just picked up a random cat and took it home???

7:47pm Marleau: yea why?

7:49pm Jane: You need to clean it first 

7:49pm Jane: Is it a boy or a girl?

7:49pm Marleau: i have no idea 

7:50pm Marleau: should i take it to the vet 

7:50pm Marleau: i’ve had cats before but i’ve never had to be the parent 

7:51pm Marleau: mitsy was like my older sister i think she was more responsible than i was 

7:51pm Marleau: okay i’m gonna ask rozy if he wants to help 

7:51pm Jane: You need to put it in something when you get in the car

7:53pm Jane: Don’t get any of your cars infested with fleas 

Okay yeah, fair point. He scooped the cat up off of his bed and set it onto his lap on the floor instead. It curled into his legs and settled almost immediately. He dialled Roz's contact.

“Roz.” 

“What do you want Marly?” Rozanov was watching something loud on the TV, the laugh track crackled into the speaker.

“Can you come over?” 

“I thought you had important business to tend to?” 

Right- he forgot about that. Janes Ottawa Event Planning had to be put on hold for now. This cat had no food and was so scraggly he had no idea if it was injured or not.

“This is an emergency. Just come fast okay?” 

Rozanov snickered. “Okey Marly. I try hard to come fast. Is hard, for me.” Marleau heard the jangle of his keys in the background. 

“Shut up, see you soon. Thanks Roz.” 

7:59pm Rozy: ETA 13 mins 

Rozanov knocked at the door with a genuinely concerned expression on his face. “Are you okay?” The cat yelled from his bedroom and he raised an eyebrow. 

“Marly. Who the fuck did you bring home?” 

“No, it’s- you need to shut the door.” He sighed, ushering Rozy inside and pushing the door shut. 

“What the fuck are you making me do?” 

Little footsteps emerged from the bedroom and padded into the doorway, curious.

“Marly! You have little baby kitty!” Rozy squealed in disbelief, dropping to his knees. He scooped the cat up and buried his face into its stomach, swaying it like a baby. 

“I found it on the way home,” Marleau grinned. “Can you help me take it to the vet?” 

Rozanov nodded immediately. “Yes. I am ready to be a step-father. You want your mama to hold you, котёнок?” 

“I’m not it’s mama. I’m it’s papa,” Marleau replied, flexing his bicep at the man who rolled his eyes.

“You are Mama Marly. It sounds good.” 

Rozanov drove as quickly as he could whilst still being careful, stealing glances at every red light at the cat who sprawled across Marly’s lap. Eventually, he rest his hand on the cat’s head, scratching it occasionally. 

“Can you not? It looks like you’re jerking me off to everyone outside the car.” 

“You don't want?”

“Not from you man.”  

Rozanov’s bluetooth chimed in. 

1 message from Jane: Are you both on your way to the vet?

Jane replied to your message: The cat looks cute!

1 message from Jane: Make sure you tell Marleau to get it vaccinated

1 message from Jane: And to buy flea and worm treatment 

“Ah, speaking of jerking off,” Rozanov snickered, and Marleau shoved his hand away. 

The vet receptionist looked like she was going to pass out at the sight of the two NHL stars with a cat bundled up in their arms; and had them checked in and sent through straight away. The cat was a girl. She was 4 years old, and had a little fractured leg that they put in the most adorable tiny cast; along with stuffing several leaflets into Marleau’s pocket. She was vaccinated, much to her disdain, and cradled by Rozy soon after with the promise of several treats. They both practically raided the store section, sweeping a variety of toys and treats and a luxurious cat bed into bags, and signed the receptionists hockey cards. 

“I think that went well,” Marly said, hoisting the cat who yowled angrily in her new carrier into the backseat.

“We are incredible parents.”

“The best.” 

“I can make us dinner. You sit down and be a good mama.” 

“Rozy I’m not your wife. Save the dinner for Jane, lets just order something.” 

“Is a shame. I cannot make Jane whatever I want. She is… strict, with the food she has.” 

“Yeah. She seems like a real health nut.” 

And, as if Jane’s ears were burning, Jane’s contact popped up on the car bluetooth.

1 message from Jane: Picturing you with a little kitten in your lap right now and smiling 

Jane replied to your message: Wish I was in your lap instead

Rozanov smirked, tilting his head the other direction so as to hide it. 

1 message from Jane: Fuck you make me so hard

“Okey, haha! Is enough now!” Rozanov’s voice was high pitched and manic as he scrambled for his phone and switched off the bluetooth, ears tinged pink and his left hand gripped on the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. 

It was not until the cat sunk its teeth into his thumb that Marleau realised he was sitting there with his jaw wide open. 

“Did Jane just say you make her hard?” 

“No,” Rozanov retorted. 

“Yeah, she did. I heard it. And read it. It was right there,” he said, jamming his finger on the CarPlay. 

“Marly shut the fuck up.” 

“Does.. Does Jane have a dick?” Rozanov was silent and Marleau realised how judgemental that came out. “No- sorry. I just mean cause, cause that’s like, that’s fine. I don’t care about that. I was just surprised, that’s all.” 

“Is not like that, Marly.” He mumbled, clenching his jaw so tight his teeth creaked. 

Marleau scrunched his nose, staring into the side of the man’s face until something clicked into place.

“Is Jane… maybe, not a Jane?” 

“You already know Jane isn’t Jane, Marly. Just fucking leave it.” He hit the top of the steering wheel and glared at Marleau. 

“No, I think you know what I mean.” He said softly. 

When Rozanov finally spoke his voice was quiet. “Stop fucking doing that,” he spat.

“Doing what?”

“Looking at me like you just found out I was dying. I am bisexual Marly, not diseased.” 

“So, Jane is…”

“Yes, Marly. Okay? Jane is not Jane and he is also not a Jane.” His voice cracked on the last Jane and Marleau strangely found his own lip trembling. 

“Are you going to fucking cry Marly? I’m the gay one, not you. Don’t do that. That’s weird. Is not.. Is not the end of the world okay?” 

“No, it isn’t. I just..” Marleau caught his breath. “I feel really bad.” 

“That I’m gay?” Rozanov was starting to tear up too now, but laughed at the ridiculousness. “I cannot help that Marly.”

“No,” Marly protested. “I feel bad that you felt like you couldn’t tell me.” 

“Блять,” Rozanov whispered and pulled the car over. He scrubbed a hand down his face and pressed them into his lap; and Marleau noticed they were shaking. 

“Is difficult,” he began. “Because Russia is not… Is old fashioned in Russia. And because of who Jane is. Okay? So please, please, you cannot tell Jane that you know. It will- it will break him, I think.” 

“I wont. I promise. But, I just..” He waved his hands around, searching for the words. “I wish you could have told me. I’m only surprised because you both lied to me for this long, I’m not- …you know I don’t care about that. Jane is awesome, and she-he is my friend. And I already told Jane that whoever they are it doesn’t matter.” The cat yowled loudly in the backseat and they both startled. “See? Even she doesn’t care. The only thing I’m disappointed about is that she doesn’t have any maternal figures in her life now.” 

Rozanov spluttered a wet laugh, and gave Marleau a grin. He looked much younger suddenly, tear tracks from his wide blue eyes and a pink tinge across his cheeks. He shoved his palm into his eyes and sniffled, nodding slowly. The car hummed back to life. 

“So you don't think that this is.. bad?” Rozanov sounded so fucking small that Marleau’s heart snapped into two at the mere idea that Marleau would give a fuck who he slept with.  

“You’re my brother. I love you man. Let's go home so you can make me dinner, yeah?”

“Go fuck yourself Marly,” he said, but he was grinning. 

-

10:45pm Marleau: janey janey jane

10:45pm Marleau: cat is a girl

10:46pm Marleau: vaccinated, flead and wormed, fed and very happy

10:46pm Marleau: Attachment: 1 photo

A selfie of Marleau, grinning. In the background, Rozanov is asleep on the couch. The cat is curled up onto his chest, head tucked under Rozanov’s chin. 

10:59pm Jane: Can I save that one? 

10:59pm Jane: And are you going to keep the cat?

11:03pm Marleau: of course

11:03pm Marleau: and yeah i think so. ive already started looking at good cat hotels for when i have away games 

11:06pm Jane: I can help you look if you’d like. 

11:06pm Jane: What are you going to name her? 

11:08pm Marleau: im not sure yet

11:08pm Marleau: shes just kitty for now until a name clicks 

11:08pm Jane: She’s sweet, and I think she’ll be good for you. She looks like she’ll be good company and that makes me really happy for you man. 

11:09pm Marleau: i hope so :")

11:09pm Marleau: rozy is calling me mama marly 

Jane reacted 😂 to your message.

11:10pm Jane: I love that.

11:10pm Marleau: i knew u would

11:10pm Marleau: want to plan ur trip tomorrow?

11:10pm Jane: Ugh thank you that would be so great

11:10pm Jane: I’m just so worried

11:10pm Jane: I want it to be nice for him 

11:10pm Marleau: it will be. cause ur there

11:10pm Marleau: i have a good feeling about it. 

11:10pm Jane: I hope so. I’m gonna get some sleep then. Talk tomorrow?

11:10pm Marleau: of course

11:11pm Jane: Night Marly ♥️

11:11pm Marleau: night janey

11:11pm Marleau: love u. so much

Chapter Text

It sounded like somebody was dying in Marleau’s apartment. The first screech shot him awake, ears ringing with the sheer speed his head flew up from the pillow, as he blinked hard at anything he could focus on to orient himself. Another screech; more pained and desperate this time- followed with a “боже мой!” and a string of profanity. The fucking cat- she sounded like she was dying. Marleau scrambled out of bed, almost slipping on the floor with his first few steps, and flew down the stairs to where the screaming was occurring. 

Rozy stood shirtless by the counter with a cat around his shoulders. Literally, around his shoulders. Like a scarf. A scarf that yelled and pawed angrily at a loose curl on his head. Several pink scratch marks sat fresh on his hip, her failed attempts at climbing the man now displayed puffy on his skin. Roz had his brows furrowed in concentration and a growing frustration at the megaphone volumed yell in his ear- squeezing a packet of wet food into the bowl. 

“I’m telling your mama to get an automatic feeder, котёнок.” He muttered. Rozy bustled around the kitchen and knew exactly where everything was. He didn’t shy away from pouring a hearty dollop of Marleau’s pretentious honey into his cereal, which he must have rooted around the cupboards for because he specifically hid it from his guests, nor did he struggle with rustling through Marleau’s drawer for a spoon; and all Marleau could do was stand in the doorway oddly sentimental at Rozy’s comfort in his home. Had that changed at all? Were they better off or worse now? The cat wrangled herself down and began to guzzle hungrily at her bowl and Rozy turned around with two bowls of his own in his hands. 

He knew those hands. They had hauled him up from the dirty nightclub floors when he was too drunk to stand up by himself. They had patted his back in a soft steady rhythm when his mother called in the early hours to hurl abuse that crackled through the speakers. They had been brought up to his own in an adrenaline filled post-win high-five more times than he could count. Whether grasped in a handshake, or tentative on his shoulder; he knew each knobbed knuckle and calloused palm. Yet as they reached out, a bowl of equally as honey-coated cereal for Marleau in his hand, he felt like he had made no effort in getting to know them at all. 

“You’re my brother.” Is all he could manage to say. He felt ridiculous like this; trying hard not to cry into his bowl of cereal after Rozy must have had the scariest afternoon of his life yesterday- but Rozy didn’t laugh at him for it. A hand patted his shoulder, tight, as if he were trying to say everything he wanted to through his fingertips.

“Yes. Love you Marly.”

Marleau was an open book, most of the time. A man built solely off a lifetime of naivety and sheer confidence; and years of never having the internal struggle to decide his worth. He didn’t have it great- who did? But Marleau had never once imagined himself being someone his best friend had to hide from. It felt selfish, to perceive it like this; and the rational part of him knew that. That this ran much further than a Marleau-level issue, and he should probably let this go.

But of course, he couldn’t help himself. “Just one more question and then I promise I’ll be normal about this.” Rozy obliged with a sigh.

“One more. Then I seriously need you to stop being upset. Is scary. And selfish. Is supposed to be all about me.”

“Sorry. Okay. If Russia wasn’t Russia and if Jane wasn’t Jane.. would you have told me?”

Whatever question Rozy had prepared himself for it was not this one. He flinched; so small Marleau barely noticed it, a slight jostle that trembled his shoulders ever so slightly as he seemed to wash over with an expression akin to guilt.

“I am not sure. Is not something I considered a serious thing until Jane. I have.. seen other men before, but it was never.. How it is with Jane. So it probably would not have come up for us. But maybe, if Russia wasn’t.. Russia, then maybe. Maybe I would.” Rozanov chose his words carefully, lingered on the tip of his tongue before he spoke them out loud. Perhaps out of translation, or perhaps out of consideration. He blinked at Marleau for a while until he seemed to register what Marleau was trying to ask.

“I do not think you are bad person, Marly. Out of everything, I am the least scared for you to find out about Jane. Okey?” Marleau nodded and scooped up the cat into his lap.

“Love you man. Thanks for telling me.”

“Eh, wasn’t me. Was the bluetooth.”

“Shut up. Don’t downplay it. Wanna tell me about Jane?”

“What is there to say?” Rozy blushed- actually blushed- and reached forward to pet the cat perched on Marleau’s legs.

“Let’s start with being honest,” Marleau held a finger up to silence Roz before he even opened his mouth, who scowled like a scolded child. “I haven’t finished. Let’s be as honest as we can while still keeping Jane anonymous. Yeah?”

“Okey. So I cannot answer anything, then.”

“Jackass. I’ll try. Let me make some coffee first and think of how to approach my questions.” The cat, as though she understood, slinked off of his lap and straight onto Rozy’s, and he lit up like a Christmas tree. 

“Your questions.”

“Yes, my questions.” The soft clank of mugs and spoons filled the room and Marleau felt more steady than he had in a long time. 

“My first question,” he began after a long sip of coffee. “What does he look like?”

Rozy grinned as if asked to share his favourite story; while Marleau tried his best not to dwell on whether this was his first time being allowed to tell it or not. 

“There is not a lot I can say. But he has big brown eyes. They are always so curious and thinking. They’re pretty, very pretty. Shiny when he cries, and sparkly when he smiles. I don’t even see them when he laughs because he smiles so wide and somehow, even though I don't see the brown, that’s my favourite way to see them. And.. what? Why the fuck are you staring at me like that?”

“Nothing man. I just think that's probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said about someone.”  

“Shut the fuck up Marly.” 

“Okay. So big brown eyes. Cute. Is he cute?”

“Yes. But also hot, handsome.. yes? He is, what's the word.. versatile.” 

“How did you guys meet?”

“Is nothing special. He was awkward, he said I shouldn’t smoke. Shook my hand and said it was nice to meet me. Said, ‘Rozanov, you are so beautiful, I must take you home and have my way with you immediately. It is my sole purpose on this planet, and-‘”

“Give me the real story, jackass.” 

“What? Is real story, mostly. He was very awkward. Shook my hand twice. So eager, even then. We were seventeen.” 

“You were seventeen?” Marleau spluttered.

“Yes. Close your mouth, I can see your cereal. Eugh Marly. But yes. Is true. We were seventeen. Eighteen when we first ever hooked up.” 

“So you’ve been doing.. this, since you were eighteen and you haven’t ever considered you might have feelings for eachother?” Rozy gripped the spoon and looked down at the table, suddenly shy. 

“Is difficult. It was because Russia is.. Russia, at first. Is what I said atleast. But Russia has nothing for me anymore, I think. But that was my reason. Jane has his own reasons. He is very private. And I think we have been casual for so long he does not want anything.. more.”

“But do you love him?” 

“I just told you the answer Marly.”

“No, you didn’t. You told me why you think it wouldn’t work. You didn’t tell me if you loved him, which is what I asked.” 

“You should get catio installed. Better for her than the streets. I will call a guy.” Rozanov deflected, but his shy smile said everything he didn’t. 

10:04am Marleau: gooooood morning jane

10:07am Jane: Hey. You guys okay? How’s the cat? 

10:07am Jane: Did Ilya go home or stay with you guys? He didn’t answer me last night 

10:08am Jane: Which is fine

10:15am Marleau: Attachment: 1 photo. 
Marleau and Rozanov on the couch. Rozanov is laying back on the couch with a controller in his hand, focused on something on the TV. Marleau has the cat on his chest and a lazy grin on his face, his controller tossed aside. 

10:15am Jane: Oh wow 

10:16am Jane: You should post that. The internet would go crazy lol. 

10:16am Marleau: are u swooning at me with a cat on my chest jane 

10:16am Jane: In your dreams. 

Marleau reacted 😂 to your message. 

10:16am Marleau: run me through what u guys are gonna do in Ottawa

10:17am Marleau: whats ur plan? 

10:18am Jane: I think just to chill. I have a cottage near my parent's cottage. I’m not sure we get the chance to do that enough. Make food, play games. Watch movies. There’s a lake by the cottage that we can swim in. And kayaks, a rink etc.

10:18am Marleau: there’s a rink near ur cottage?

10:18am Jane: Something like that yeah 

10:18am Marleau: dang wtf how rich are u jane 

10:22am Jane: Haha

10:22am Jane: I’m nervous though. 

10:22am Jane: We don’t really hang out.

10:23am Jane: In fact, we’ve never really hung out. 

10:23am Marleau: jane 

10:24am Marleau: u guys are going to be fine. rozy is easy to hang out with 

10:24am Marleau: snores alot 

10:24am Marleau: loves to nap 

10:25am Marleau: and is really competitive at mario kart 

10:29am Jane: I can assure you I am not worried about losing to him at Mario Kart.

10:29am Marleau: of course ur a freak about mario kart too

10:30am Marleau: match made in heaven

10:31am Marleau: please let me know who wins

10:34am Jane: I’m offended that you’re insinuating it’s going to be a tough game 

10:34am Jane: I’m more worried about what to cook to be honest.

10:34am Jane: There’s not alot I can make that fits my diet. 

10:35am Marleau: cant u break it just while he’s there? 

10:35am Marleau: cmonnnnn

10:37am Jane: Maybe. Ugh I dont know. Maybe. 

10:37am Marleau: just do something easy

10:38am Marleau: u got a grill? 

10:38am Marleau: u seem like a grill guy

10:38am Marleau: a grill girl 

10:40am Marleau: just do burgers 

10:40am Jane: Yeah potentially. I do have a grill lol. 

10:44am Marleau: sorted. 

-

“Roz?” Marleau was scrolling through twitter while Rozy played Call of Duty. Rozanov didn’t even look up as he mashed the buttons; gunshots and the game comms blasting through the speakers, just angled his head towards Marly in response. 

“Mhm?”

“Remember how I said we should be honest?”

“Mhm.” 

“And remember how you said Russia had nothing for you anymore?”

“...Mhm?”

“So do you wanna tell me where you’re actually going this summer? If Russia has nothing for you anymore why would you go, right?” Roz shifted his eyes over to Marleau and rolled them, muttering something as he respawned. 

“Like maybe.. Maybe you’re going to see someone this summer. A certain someone, with like, a cottage. Or something. Just this crazy idea I had.” 

Rozy set the controller down. “He told you?”

“Yeah. Why were you going to lie about it? I thought we were good.”

“No, no. We are good. Is okay, was for him anyway. He’s the one saying we should be careful all the time, so.” 

“But you’re literally Ilya Rozanov. Shouldn’t you be the careful one? You’re famous.”

“Eh…. Well, yes. But he is.. stressy, so. He worries enough for the both of us.” 

“Gotcha. So, this cottage. You gonna tell him how you feel?”

“What? No. I can’t do that. Is just two weeks away so I’m not bored in Boston.”

“Ouch. So you’re just gonna leave me to be a single mom for two weeks? By myself?”

“You’ll manage. Lots of mothers are single mothers Marly and they manage just fine. Plus you have it in you, I can tell.” 

“Jackass. You suck at COD, by the way.” 

“Fuck off. I am levelling up my guns, not playing to win.” 

“Liar.” 

-

cliffmarleau7: u can call me daddy now #offseason #bostonraiders #kitty

A picture of Marleau, shirtless and smirking on his couch. He is holding the cat in one hand, who seems to fit almost entirely in his palm. 

@ilyarozanov81 liked your post. 

ilyarozanov81: meow 😻

@shanehollanderofficial liked your post. 

9:43pm Jane: That is an outrageously thirsty thirst trap 

9:43pm Marleau: u can look but u cant touch janey janey jane ;) 

Chapter Text

9:34am Jane: He’s on his way. 

9:34am Marleau: i know. u told me that 5 mins ago

9:35am Marleau: jane relax

9:35am Marleau: its gonna be okay 

9:38am Jane: Yeah. It’s gonna be fine. 

9:46am Jane: I feel like throwing up

9:46am Jane: We don't hang out

9:46am Jane: We never HANG OUT Marleau

9:49am Jane: What if it’s awkward? 

9:55am Jane: What if he wants to leave and he’s stuck in Ottawa and cannot go anywhere and I’m just keeping him hostage and have no idea 

9:55am Marleau: jane

9:55am Marleau: listen

9:55am Marleau: ur going to be FINE. lets chill out 

9:55am Jane: I’m at the airport waiting 

9:57am Jane: I was gonna wait outside the airport but I think people noticed

9:57am Jane: So I’m just waiting in the carpark now

9:57am Marleau: jane ur just a random person in the airport they’re not going to assume ur waiting for ilya rozanov 

9:58am Marleau: yes wait in the car park that’s a good idea 

9:58am Marleau: lets take a chill pill dude

9:58am Jane: Okay sorry

10:21am Jane: He’s landed

10:23am Jane: Please don’t text me anything embarrassing.

10:23am Jane: I have CarPlay

Marleau reacted 😂 to your message.

10:23am Jane: What’s funny?

10:23am Marleau: nothing thats just a good idea 

10:23am Marleau: to give a heads up before u turn ur carplay on 

10:23am Marleau: that's all 

10:26am Marleau: good luck jane!! 

Marleau snorted at how worked up the poor guy was getting. He couldn’t even begin to imagine the relentless worrying he must have been doing all night, hell, he probably had even rented a book on How To Be A Great Host because Jane always did things in leaps and bounds. He opened up the internet to find a book just like that to tease him with later, before getting distracted on Twitter. 

Shane Hollander briefly spotted at Ottawa Airport. Keeping it LOW-KEY!
Montreal Metros star Shane Hollander looked effortlessly put together in.. 

Marleau didn’t really bother to read the rest of the shitty gossip article. The guy always looked effortlessly put together. That was like, his whole brand. But in Ottawa Airport? What business did he have there? He googled Shane Hollander Ottawa and opened his Wikipedia. 

“Shane Hollander was born on 10 May 1991 in Ottawa, Ontario Canada.[18][19]”.  Huh. Okay yeah, fair enough.

He debated sending the gossip article to Rozy, just to tease; but decided against it knowing that the two of them would probably be in the car by now. Why did it feel like Shane Hollander was waiting at every corner Marleau turned recently? He felt like he’d seen so much of him in the last year or so, more than he’d normally notice. It didn’t help that the brand deal he had with Rolex meant he was practically on every single billboard Marly passed. 

11:42am Marleau: remember drive safe

11:42am Marleau: no distractions

11:43am Marleau: i know u can hear me on the carplay rozy 

11:43am Marleau: NO DISTRACTIONS

Rozanov’s contact popped up almost immediately and he grinned, switching to their chat instead. 

11:43am Rozy: i will save my ideas for drive back to airport

11:43am Rozy: give a proper goodbye ;) 

11:44am Marly: you dog 

-

12:25pm Rozy: his cottage is very fancy. i am not so sure why they call it cottage here. this is a mansion with extra windows 

12:25pm Marly: what are the rooms looking like? are u sharing or nah 

12:27pm Rozy: not sure. maybe his bed if i am lucky. i will update you with sturdiness review 

12:27pm Jane: We’re back now. I am already mentally calculating when a good time for lunch is for normal people. I kind of just graze snacks from the fridge until dinner time and then eat a prepped dinner so I have forgotten normal mealtime rules. 

12:27pm Marleau: make it any time after 1:30 and no later than 3, he probably ate at the airport in the morning 

12:27pm Marleau: big lunch means small dinner and small lunch means big dinner 

12:27pm Marleau: that helpful?

12:32pm Jane: You’re the best. 

-

2:22pm Rozy: bed is very sturdy ;)

2:22pm Rozy: i thought we would be in different rooms

2:22pm Rozy: not so sure now. i think he wants to share? 

2:27pm Marly: are u nervous to share a bed??

2:27pm Marly: ilya rozanov. scared to share a bed.

2:27pm Marly: how cute 

2:27pm Rozy: no

2:31pm Rozy: maybe

2:33pm Rozy: he is very pretty like this

2:33pm Rozy: lots of freckles 

2:33pm Rozy: nice not having to rush 

2:35pm Marly: take ur time brother. just the two of u for 2 weeks 

2:57pm Rozy: i am so fucked bro. 

2:57pm Marleau: going good?

2:57pm Jane: I think so. Yeah.

2:58pm Jane: I’m really happy. 

2:58pm Jane: We’ve just been swimming in the lake 

2:58pm Marleau: swimming huh

2:58pm Marleau: sounds like u guys have been active

3:03pm Jane: Shut up

3:03pm Marleau: let me know what the lake is like when ur actually in it 

3:03pm Marleau: 🍆🍑

-

7:03pm Jane: Attachment: 1 photo

A close up shot, deliberately not showcasing anything but the sleeping man in the bed. Ilya lay on his side, curled up in the sheets. The sunset streaked onto his face in a golden glow. He is fast asleep. 

7:03pm Jane: You’re right. He snores

7:07pm Marleau: if u swat him he stops 

7:07pm Marleau: learnt that after many hotel shares 

7:14pm Jane: I don't know. I think I don’t mind it. It’s kind of relaxing

7:14pm Marleau: yea ur head over heels at this point

7:14pm Marleau: because he sounds like a tractor 

7:15pm Jane: He is really beautiful like this 

7:21pm Marleau: he looks peaceful. normally he sleeps with his face-off face on lol 

7:21pm Jane: Hahaha

7:21pm Marleau: he also looks lonely. u should join him in that bed janey 

Jane reacted ♥️ to your message. 

-

Marleau flicked through the channels on TV, the cat laying stomach up on the couch beside him. She snored unapologetically, which Marleau put down to getting from Roz. He was just about to switch to Netflix when he saw Hollander’s face fill his TV. It was his documentary tour of his freakishly beautiful cottage he had filmed a couple months back that the internet seemed to go crazy for. 

“The cottage actually overlooks the lake; which is really beautiful for sunset and sunrise. I have a dock that lets me swim there in the warmer months.” Someone off the camera said something and he laughed, looking adorably sheepish. “Yeah, that would be awesome. I think the current is too fast to fully freeze over. But I do actually have a rink built here, I’ll show you.”

Marleau furrowed his brows. Replayed, played it over again. I do actually have a rink built here, I’ll show you. He turned the volume up a little and hit play again. 

“-Yeah! So I uh, I had it built right next to my parent’s. It’s nice to be local to my family when I come back here for the off-season, so they’re about a 10 minute drive away.” 

“Bro,” he nudged the cat who protested with a growl.

“I think Jane is Shane Hollander.” 

Everything seemed to click as soon as Shane’s name left his mouth. He shot up and started to pace his living room.

“Just hear me out, don’t look at me like that.” He said to the cat, who stared at him almost as if to say ‘are you fucking stupid? 

“Jane is a he. We know that much yeah? But then Jane works for the Metros enough to always travel with their schedule, and he was even in Tampa when Hollander was. Jane has a strict diet, like an athlete level diet. Jane said he was at the airport in Ottawa and then Shane fucking Hollander gets papped there at the exact same time. Jane’s parents have a cottage in Ottawa and so does Shane Hollander. Jane is rich as fuck and he even took the time to put a rink in his cottage, I mean seriously- I don’t understand how I didn’t see this,” 

He emphasised by pointing at the TV, restless with this information. Marly continued pacing. 

“But there’s one thing right bro? Jane doesn’t want anybody to know who he is. So this is fucked, because I just figured it out. Fuck.” 

“Oh my god man. I’ve been texting Shane fucking Hollander. I need a drink. You want one?” He walked to the fridge and cracked a beer, and poured a little of the fancy kitten milk they bought into her bowl. His phone buzzed softly in his pocket and he jumped as if it had detonated.

10:56pm Jane: Thank you for your help today. And for just being here to talk to in general, I was really nervous and I really appreciated it. We have ended up having a really good day so far. And I’m not sure I could have even gotten to this point without your help. Glad to have you as my friend, even if it’s as complicated and convoluted as it is. :) 

Marleau read the text so many times his lip began to wobble, yanked out of his shock and plunged into something harsher that bit guilt into the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t even begin to understand how fucking hard this must be for the two of them. Shane Hollander was the NHL’s Golden Boy; who came in early and stayed late, who did every single brand deal asked of him, never dropped gloves- Marleau knew this would potentially ruin his career right smack bang in the peak of it. He remembered Rozy’s plea in the car- ‘please, please, you cannot tell Jane that you know. It will- it will break him, I think.’ 

“Fuck,” he muttered, downing his beer in one swift gulp and slamming it onto the counter so hard it rattled against the marble. It was Hollander who had taken him home after the night he broke up with Jasmine. Shane Hollander, who had talked him through the shitty days following and watched every single movie Marly asked him to without a single complaint. Shane, who was the only person to check up on him after he injured his wrist, and who answered every single stupid question with genuine enthusiasm, and fuck- Hollander, who he slammed into boards so hard he almost knocked his brain out. He was so fucking happy to see the two of them in that hospital room. And the photo- Marleau swiped through his gallery and stared at it blankly. His dopey, drugged out grin right next to Rozy’s amused one; and Marleau grinning with his face pressed up right next to Shane’s. There was no awkwardness in what he saw now. Marleau stared back at the picture of Rozy and their Jane. 

11:20pm Marleau: u dont need to say thank u jane. i will always be here for you, i promise. whoever u are, whoever u end up being, no matter how much u stress urself out about it just know im on ur side no matter what 

11:25pm Marleau: im really happy u had a good day. heres to two more weeks of it, yeah?

11:26pm Marleau: i know its not my place and im sure the circumstances are difficult for the two of u, but i know that its not impossible. u guys can make this work. just be honest to eachother, i think u will be surprised by how much u have in common? ;) 

11:43pm Marleau: love u janey janey jane ♥️

Chapter Text

Ilya snored. He wasn’t sure what to expect after Marleau’s warning, but Ilya snored. Loud. Like some sort of old bald dad. Shane watched the morning sun begin to seep into the sleeping man’s skin, who lay on his stomach, one hand flung around Shane’s waist and one hand folded under his head. Sun trickled slowly up their bodies, heating up the room until the air inside was thick and Shane felt sweaty laying right next to him. He looked peaceful in such stupor. A little younger, creases all smoothed out, something sweet and boyish curling the corners of his parted lips and his curls ruffled beyond belief. 

Shane didn’t really know how long he spent looking at Ilya. Just knew that when Ilya was awake and teasing him for something stupid, or handling him with such confidence it dripped through his fingers, he would remember this very moment. He’d have it etched into the back of his eyelids, if he could. His fingers reached out and he traced them across Ilya’s back; watched the goosebumps rise and settle on his forearms and wished he could kiss every single one of the hairs that raised. 

Shane softly traced words across his spine, shapes, squiggles, before tracing an I love you as delicately as he could and gasping to himself quietly with how much he found himself wishing to say it out loud. 

He was halfway through tracing the mole on Ilya’s cheek for the hundredth time when Ilya finally stirred; smacking his lips and furrowing his brow, the crease right back where it usually was, and slowly opened his eyes. Ilya was not a morning person. This, Shane could gather; from the way the man instantly woke with a scowl before even opening his eyes, and how long it took for him to register that Shane was sitting right in front of him as he blinked into nothingness with two hazy unfocused eyes. The scowl melted immediately into something soft upon registering him and Shane decided that actually he would get this moment etched into his eyelids instead. 

“Good morning,” Ilya mumbled, raking his eyes up and down Shane like he couldn’t quite believe he was still here. The corner of Shane’s eyes went fuzzy with how hard he grinned.

“Hi,” Shane’s voice was unbearably sweet and he would definitely be cringing about it later.

“I like you.”

“I like you too,” Shane whispered, pressing his head into the crook of Ilya’s neck. 

“Shane,” Ilya whispered. “Wake up. I cannot feel my arm.”

“Hmm? Oh- shit, sorry. What time is it? I didn’t mean to fall back asleep.” 

“Is only like 10:30.”

“10:30? Are you kidding?” 

“Why would I be kidding? Literally what could be funny about 10:30?”

“Shut up. Ugh. It’s late. Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall back asleep.”

“Is okay. You’re pretty when you sleep. But you snore.” Ilya grinned at him with a mischievous twinkle in his eye that he only got when talking shit. 

“I snore? Are you kidding me? I snore? I fucking hate you,” Shane feigned offense and scrunched his face up in mock-horror, which only made Ilya grin wider. 

“No you don’t. So tell me, Mr Shane Hollander, what are we going to do today?”

“Well, Mr Ilya Rozanov, I kind of thought we could just do whatever we wanted.”

It was Ilya’s turn to mock-horror. “Nothing? Shane Hollander wants to have a day with no itinerary? The tabloids are going to eat this up, Shane.” 

“Asshole. I can make an itinerary if you want. You can help me with my taxes.”

“You do your taxes?” Ilya sounded genuinely surprised, and Shane looked horrified for real this time. 

“You- you don’t? Ilya, you need to pay your taxes. Have you seriously not been-”

“What? I pay my fucking taxes, Shane. I just pay a guy to do it because it’s boring.”

“It’s not boring. It’s a life skill.”

“A life skill. Okay, I teach you another one if you’d like.” Ilya purred, trailing his hands further down Shane’s stomach; who hitched a breath and involuntarily tensed the muscles, to which Ilya hummed with amusement. 

“What kind of life skill?”

“One that is much less boring than taxes.”

-

“You are fucking cheating,” Ilya whined, and couldn’t have pouted harder if he tried. They had been playing Mario Kart for the last two hours, and Ilya was growing increasingly more frustrated with how easy Shane was beating him. Naturally, Shane was smug and loving every single minute of it, standing up to take another picture of the scoreboard.

“Another one to show Marly. He had the audacity to think I'd lose this." 

“Fuck off. He’s my best friend not yours.”

“Liar. I’m moving up the ranks.”

“He doesn’t even know who you are,” Ilya grumbled, and Shane laughed, grinning at the stroppy man beside him. 

“Yeah he does. I’m literally Shane Hollander. Three time Stanley Cup winner, Montreal Metros cap- are you fucking snoring?”

Ilya cracked one eye open and rolled his eyes, but he was smiling now too. 

“Sorry. You said Montreal Metros. Is just a thing that happens when you mention the Montrea-” he snored theatrically again.

“Fuck off!” Shane spluttered, selecting the ‘Play Again’ button and ignoring the groan that erupted to his left. 

Jane: Attachment: 1 photo

The Mario Kart scoreboard. ‘JANE’ as Lakitu in 1st place. ‘ILYAAA’ as Bowser in 2nd place.

4:04pm Jane: We’re coming up to double digits soon. 8-1.

4:12pm Marleau: this is insane

4:12pm Marleau: can i show the groupchat 

4:12pm Marleau: this is so fucking funny 

4:20pm Jane: Lol. Go for it 

4:20pm Marleau: having a nice time?

4:21pm Jane: Yeah. Really good time :) 

4:23pm Marleau: yay!!!

“I want to play a different game,” Ilya whined as he slid off the sofa and onto the floor. “You’re killing me. I am dead now.”

“Another game? What game did you have in mind?”

“Pervert.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! I actually meant what video game did you have in mind. So actually, you’re the pervert for making that weird. Weirdo.” 

“Yeah yeah yeah. Okay. What about,” He leaned forward and rummaged through the shelves of PlayStation games. “You play Call of Duty?”

“I’m not fucking Amish, Ilya. I play Call of Duty.” Ilya scrunched his nose up and looked weirdly fond, pouting his lips in an ‘awww’. 

“That is so fucking cute. I don’t know why. Shane. That’s so fucking cute.” He sounded genuinely moved by this revelation.  

“What? It’s a shooter game. How is that cute? That literally makes no sense.” Ilya rummaged further through the games and pulled out the 2015 MLH copy that was sitting at the back. He stared at it for a second, then flipped it over to show Shane; smirk no longer as teasing as it was before. 

“You want to play? I want to be Montreal.” 

“You can’t pick Montreal!” 

“Yes I can!” Ilya scoffed, holding a hand to his chest feigning sincerity. “I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a Metro. You know, historically they’re the best team in sport.”  

“Better than the fucking Yankees,” Shane quipped with a bitchy roll of his eyes, too glued to the screen to see Ilya swoon.

“Oh I know so.” 

“Well I’m gonna be Boston then.” 

“Good choice,” Ilya grinned. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you,” Shane’s voice was a singsong tease as the game intro boomed through the speakers as Ilya blinked at him.

“....I am you.”

“Well- well you’re not anything,” 

Ilya held the plastic cover up to his face. “I’m on the cover of the fucking game,” He protested, pulling the same expression with scary accuracy. 

A blush crept onto Shane’s face and he tore his eyes away from the screen to look at the two Ilyas. “Yeah, that’s- that’s actually why I bought it.” He said, clearing his throat awkwardly. Ilya lit up like a Christmas tree. 

“Did you jerk off to it?”

“No.” Shane answered immediately, and grimaced. Ilya’s brows raised in surprise and his little ‘o’ slowly spread into a wicked grin. 

“Shane. Shane. No. You’re fucking kidding. Shane! You jerked off to my video game!” He shrieked, launching himself into Shane and tackling him into the couch. 

-

“What’s wrong?”

Ilya didn’t even realise Shane had stirred awake. They had been laying there for hours now, legs intertwined in a tangle of limbs and cotton sheets as Ilya watched the sun slowly begin to make its retreat- the soft fade from yellow to auburn to purple before it welcomed moonlight in its absence. He had been tracing the freckles across Shane’s face with his thumb, cupped the man’s jaw with his other hand in a gentle hold and watched him slowly drift away until his face was slack and heavy in his grasp. Ilya watched Shane’s eyebrows twitching in his sleep and he could make out the soft left-right motion of his eyes beneath his eyelids, deep in a dream Ilya would ask him to share later. The smile never left either of their faces.

“Ya tebya lyublyu,” he whispered over and over like a prayer, tentative soft lips pressed to the man’s forehead, his cheeks, his chin, the slope of his nose, to which the sleeping Shane only seemed to melt further.

Ilya had been welcoming everything in as best he could, and took inventory of it all the first moment of silence he got. The feeling of Shane’s warm body pressed flat against his own, his stomach pressing softly against Ilya’s with each exhale. The feeling of an Ottawa breeze slipping through the cracked window that tickled the spot of his shoulder not currently covered in Shane. A father’s hand on that very same shoulder hours earlier, gripped with something fond as opposed to something spiteful. Yuna Hollander hugging him as tight as his mother used to and fussing over his coat zipper. And most importantly, the steadiness that came with knowing that Shane loved him back.  

“Nothing is wrong,” Ilya whispered into the top of his head, pulled from his train of thought.

“I can hear you thinking,” Shane mumbled into his skin.

“Stop listening then.”

“Don’t want to.”

“So stubborn, malysh.” A hand came up to pet the back of Shane’s head, carding fingers through the soft jet-black strands. Another kiss, pressed to his forehead this time. Shane propped himself up and seemed fully awake this time.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

A frown pulled at Ilya’s lips in a downward curl, looking out the big windows that wrapped around the bedroom, glazing his eyes on the spots where the moon hit the water enough to glint. Shane scowled.

“Why do you look guilty? What’s the matter?” Shane kept his voice soft, but couldn’t help as his voice rose at the ends in concern and a growing panic.

“Is nothing Shane. Is okay.”

“No,” he pressed, using all of his willpower not to melt into a puddle at the thickly accented pet name that Ilya had used for him, all for him, and jabbed a finger onto his chest.  “Tell me. I thought we were being honest?”

And when Shane Hollander looks at him like that, with those big brown blinking eyeballs that somehow shine on command, there was not much to stop him from giving in.

“You cannot be mad,” he started, ignoring Shane’s eyes widening in horror. “No, I said that wrong. You can be mad, just not.. mad with me okay? It was an accident. I was in the car with Marly going to the vet. And um..” Ilya’s lips curled upwards in a sheepish smile evoking a frown from the man pressed to his body.

“Spit it out Ilya,” he whispered.

“Well I had the carplay on. And.. sorry, is not funny. I am laughing because I am nervous. Sorry. Okay. Well your messages came through. Uh.. messages about a cat in my lap. And how that makes you… hard. So.”

The room was lit only by moonlight, barely enough light to make out the blush that was no doubt forming on Shane’s face, but Ilya knew that beneath the blush he was also turning an odd shade of green. It was quiet for a very long time.

“So does Marleau know?” It was barely a whisper, on the brink of a whimper that sounded more scared than mortified. 

“No. No, he doesn’t. No. He knows you are a man, but not who you are. Shane- malysh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let that happen.”  

Shane sighed and a hand reached around the nape of Ilya’s neck, smoothing his thumb into the back where his hair felt fuzzy for a few minutes until he spoke. “Was he okay?”

“What?”

“Was he.. nice about it? How did- how did that go?”

“Uh. He cried for some reason. It was kind of weird. Um, but yes. He was sad, I think, that I didn’t tell him. I think he thought I was afraid of how he would react. But I told him, is difficult. Because of Russia, and.. because we want it private. And now is like you were never even a she when Marly talks about you. Is nice. He is stupid and a big crybaby, but he is not a bad guy.”

“Good. Okay. Good, yeah- that’s, that’s good. God, I just feel so fucking bad for lying to him all the time,” Shane sighed. “I’m glad he took it well, then. I’m sorry. That must have been really scary for you. But I’ll be more careful from now on, then. When you’re driving, and stuff. That was my fault. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Shane,” Ilya tried, thinking carefully about the words he was trying to say. “What if he figures it out?”

“He won’t.” Shane shook his head violently, trying to reassure himself more than anything.

“Shane. I’m being serious. What if he does?”

“It’s Marleau, Ilya.”

“It doesn’t matter. What if he does? What am I supposed to say? I am actually asking this for real.”

“I don’t know! Say no!” Shane pulled away from Ilya’s chest and sat upright, shrugging his arms theatrically. Something strangely hurt flapped wildly beneath Ilya’s ribs.

“I’m not sure if saying no to Marleau is going to help us in the future,” Ilya said in a small voice. “Atleast not if he asks about it upfront. Atleast not Marly.”

“Ilya, I swear to God I felt like I was gonna die today. And that was my parents, Ilya. I don’t- that just seems like such a huge step when we’ve already taken so many. 

“I’m not saying you tell him or we have some kind of, fuck- whats the word? Intervention. We don’t need to hold him a meeting. But if you want this,” he gestured between them softly. “Then we can’t lie forever, yes?” 

“I just don’t want him to hate me,” Shane mumbled, sagging his shoulders in defeat.

“Oh, Shane. My Shanya. Listen to me.  He doesn’t hate you- he won’t hate you. He already knows you are a man. And see? He doesn’t hate you for that. That was weeks ago and he still texts you everyday. I really don’t think Marly is going to react the way you think he will. He is like big dog. And you,” he reached forward and kissed the tip of his nose. “Are beautiful, and funny, and kind. And he knows that too.” 

“I love you,” Shane whispered, shuffling himself back onto Ilya’s chest, peppering kisses across his collarbones. 

A hand came down to smooth Shane’s hair. “I love you, my Shanya. We don’t have to think about that tonight, okey? We have so, so much time now.” 

-

Marleau stirred awake, the cat curled up so close her forehead was pressing into Marly’s chin. With a yawn, he checked his phone for the time; to see a flurry of messages from Jane. He rubbed his eyes until they focused and began to read. 

3:04am Jane: Ilya told me that you know that I’m like.

3:04am Jane: A guy, and not a girl. 

3:07am Jane: Um so I want to apologise for lying to you. But I hope you can understand that it’s been a difficult thing to accept for me. But yes I am a guy and yes I’m gay. 

3:07am Jane: Russia isn’t very forgiving to queer men as far as I know. And I didn’t really want that to be true about me for a very long time. 

3:08am Jane: But that brings me onto my next thing. 

3:08am Jane: Because Ilya told me he loved me last night

3:09am Jane: And I said it back

3:09am Jane: And he met my parents today.

3:09am Jane: Totally on accident, but he still met my parents. Which I will tell you all about tomorrow cause it’s too embarrassing to think about right now. 

3:10am Jane: So yeah. Thank you, for giving him the courage to say it to me. 

3:10am Jane: He told me you did FYI

3:10am Jane: But also thanks for giving me the courage to say it back.

3:11am Jane: And another thank you for being chill about the gay thing. I was really scared about it and it feels nice to know we both have a friend that knows that isn’t like. 

3:11am Jane: Idk

3:12am Jane: Disgusted or shocked or whatever

3:13am Jane: So yeah. Thanks :) 

3:14am Jane: Fuck sorry, you’re probably asleep

3:15am Jane: Sorry. Night Marly. 

4:31am Marleau: NO WAY

4:32am Marleau: I KNEW U GUYS WERE GONNA END UP TOGETHER AFTER THIS TRIP 

4:32am Marleau: JANE IM SO HAPPY FOR U LETS FUCKING GET IT BROTHERRRR

4:49am Marleau: FUCKKK IM SO HYPE

4:49am Marleau: ok dw i think ive calmed down now. thank u for trusting me enough to tell me that urself

4:50am Marleau: it feels better to hear it from u knowing that u want to share that with me whether i found out already or not 

4:50am Marleau: but u dont need to thank me for accepting that ur gay

4:50am Marleau: that should be the bare minimum from everybody 

4:55am Marleau: night janey janey jane. love u bro

Chapter Text

“Are you going to wait patiently for me so I can get us home? Can you do that?” Marleau teased softly, cracking the window open to let the fog inside clear. 

The woman beside him nodded and straightened her hair, breathless, and he reached over to kiss her on her plush lips. The bright red lipstick on them had smudged and he wiped it gently with his thumb. It tasted like shit. He wondered how she put it on everyday and not find the taste distracting. 

“Good girl. It’s not far now. What’s your name?”

“Angie.”

“Angie. Such a pretty name Angie. Pretty, just like you. You can wait a little longer for me Angie, yeah?”  

Marleau pulled into his driveway and jogged forward to open the car door for her. Angie was a pretty redhead girl with little coily curls, dark eyeliner around her eyes and lipstick-coated red lips that grinned at him. She had approached him earlier at the bar, very evidently a “puck bunny” from how Connors had practically spun on his feet to hide his face upon seeing her, though Marleau didn’t like to use that term. Apparently she had ghosted him for a couple days and then spotted her hanging off of an Admirals arm the next week. He didn’t seem at all too bothered when she plonked herself into Marleau’s lap and let him take her back to his car, simply clapped him on the back and raised his beer to him. Marleau wasn’t looking for something tonight that would last longer than a one night stand anyway.

He hauled her up into his arms, bridal style, grinning as it evoked a squeal and the feeling of her hands wrapping around the back of his neck. He used this trick on almost every girl he brought home and it worked every time, enough to ignore the teasing when Marleau trained a little harder on back and arm days. 

As he cracked the door open, the cat was loafed on the sofa, who startled at the sound of a high pitched giggle and the obnoxious wet mouthed kissing sounds that filled the doorway. 

“Aww!” She whined, still clutching onto Marleau- bright red heels suspended in the air. “So cute!”

“Yeah, she’s sweet.” Marleau admitted, shutting the door behind him with his ass and began the ascent up the stairs, tipping her chin back to press his lips hard onto hers. He made it to the top landing when the cat yelled after him and she pulled away with an audible wet untangle.

“Did your cat just make that noise?”

“Yeah?” He said, leaning back towards her face, but she leant further away in concern.

“Wow. That is not what I thought it would sound like. Is she.. okay?”

“Yes. She’s just weird. I’ll feed her. When I come back upstairs, will you have taken that pretty dress off?” With another heated kiss, she smiled shyly and nodded, and let herself be put back down onto the carpet. 

“Don’t fuckin do this to me bro.” Marleau jabbed a finger in the cats direction and poured a generous serving of dry food into her bowl. “It’s one hour. Two hours tops. Please.”

Marleau was just about to roll the condom on when the most foul, jangled screech came from the living room. He groaned as the woman spluttered underneath him. The longer she laughed the more she seemed to find it funny, until Marleau was soft and towering over her with an amused but defeated smile.

“I’m sorry,” she giggled, curls bouncing as she clasped one manicured hand to her mouth and pressed one hand gently on his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to laugh, but… your cat sounds like an old man.” 

Marleau exhaled a laugh of his own, letting his elbows give in and shifting to collapse next to her. He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. 

“I can’t believe my cat is cockblocking me man.”

“Can we do this again? At my place maybe?” She smiled, and Marleau thought she looked much prettier with that bright red lipstick kissed off her face. 

“Sure.” He couldn't even remember her name anymore. She seemed to not really care either- reaching for her phone and holding it out to type his number in. 

“You’re hot. I’ll text you?”

“Sure,” he said, typing in Connor’s new number instead.

The second she left Marleau turned 180 on his feet and scoffed at the cat, who was now sprawled content across the sofa. 

“Bro. What the fuck is your problem?” He muttered, scooping up the cat and cradling it like a baby. 

“I hate you so much man,” he sighed, kissing the tip of her nose and scratching behind her ear. “You’re the worst.” 

9:03pm Marleau: bro 

9:03pm Marleau: literally the worst thing ever just happened 

9:03pm Marleau: that i need to tell both of u 

9:05pm Jane: Make a group chat if you want

9:06pm Jane: Don’t make me regret that, please.

9:06pm Marleau: omg why havent i thought of that sooner

9:06pm Marleau: ok bet

Marleau created a group chat. 

Marleau added Rozy.

Marleau added Jane.