Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Elena Gilbert's POV

It's been a rough three months for me since the death of my parents after the night I went out to a party with Matt and broke it off with him before things got too serious. I still blame myself for their deaths, I mean if I refused to go to the party then they wouldn't of left the house that late at night. Then, my brother and I wouldn't of had to move clear across the country to Beacon Hills, California to live with our mother's older brother. We'd still be a happy family and nothing would be wrong in the world. Jeremy would've found a girlfriend and been a happy, non-alcoholic kid, and enjoying his second year of high school. I'd still be with my best friends and having Friday night family movie and game nights. My parents would of been here for my seventeenth birthday.

I sigh as I walk in the woods, trying to find a spot to write in my diary and letting my feet just wonder on their own. I frown as I come up to a clearing and see a burnt down and broken house. Surprisingly it's still standing, some parts of it visible and some of it caved in. Instead of walking away, I felt drawn to it like some strange pull and I was beyond curious. I looked around, not seeing anyone and decided to go see the inside of the abandoned place. I look down, careful to avoid the two broken steps to the porch and front door. I walk through the door, noticing the plants and vines around the burnt house. I look around, feeling strange before seeing a what looks like a window bench with dust and dirt on it. I walk over, wiping some of the dust off and decide to sit down. I open my backpack, grabbing a pencil and opening my diary up. I put my knees up, using them to set my diary on and I begin to write my thoughts down.

Dear Diary,

Today has been strange and overall just depressing. My parents are dead and my brother won't talk to me or anyone. He's been stealing from our uncle Noah, mainly it's just his alcohol and I feel defeated as I've tried to get him to stop. I think he's gotten into drugs, mainly weed but I'm unsure yet. I don't want to tell anyone as I don't want to betray Jer, but I don't want to just let him continue this bad copping mechanism either. And I've been distant from my cousin, Stiles, and his dad, but maybe I should finally open up to them. Let them help me or just actually talk to them? I am-

"What are you doing here?"

I jump, almost falling off the window seat as I drop my diary and clutch my hand in a fist over my chest. I get off the window seat and stand up with wide eyes. I look up as I spot the rough male voice, feeling an out of body experience. He looks like the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome with hazel or green eyes and black spiked or messy hair. He was a few years older than me or so as he had a black shadow of a stubble on his face. I felt this strange... I'm not sure, but instead of my deep sadness I felt just a pull. I frown, rubbing my neck as I look away and feeling weird as my face started to heat up before clearing my throat. "I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't know it was owned or-"

"It's not. The city took it from me," He said, raising his eyebrows and folding his arms over his chest.

"Oh, so this house was yours?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing as I hugged myself and looked around the place.

"Sort of, but you didn't answer my question," He said, sighing.

"Um, I just was walking and found this place. I just... wanted to be somewhere quiet, sorry. That sounds weird," I said, being honest as I run a hand through my hair. He arches an eyebrow at me in silence as I hug myself. "Uh, sorry I'll leave," I said, quickly grabbing my backpack and put it over one shoulder. I felt awkward, so I gave him a small smile before I decide to start to walk out until his voice stopped me.

"Why were you looking for something quiet?" He asked, his voice gentle as I looked back up at him. His features softening.

"Because... because sometimes even when I'm alone in my room, everything feels loud around me. It's hard to clear my thoughts, so I just needed somewhere to escape to for a little while," I pause for a moment and look to the ground before shaking my head. "Sorry, that probably seems crazy."

"No, it actually doesn't," He says, before clearing his throat as I look up at him. "Was this place quiet for you?" He asked, looking around his old home.

"Um, would it be weird if I said yes?" I said, shrugging my shoulders before I start chewing on my bottom lip.

"It'd be more weird if you said no," He said, giving me a small smile. I let out a chuckle as he does the same before I clear my throat and my eyebrows furrow.

"Huh, I haven't... done that in awhile," I said, feeling confused for a moment. I immediately frown as I rub my arm that's across my chest, feeling dread.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod my head, lying of course. "What have you not done in awhile? Smile?"

"Not in three months. Since my parents died," I said, before I shake my head as I felt like I might cry. The dread and pain came back in full force. The rerun of the car screeching as my mom screamed and the car flew off the bridge. "I gotta go, before my uncle gets worried. He is the sheriff after all," I said, quickly walking past him and out the door before he could say anything else and I became rude to a total stranger. Or put more of my problems on some handsome stranger. Wow, I'm classy and a freakin' weirdo.

What else is new?

I frown as I sat on my bed, glaring at the vanity in the mirror and seeing the happy pictures of my family before my eyes soften at seeing one that was important to me. I was about fourteen years old and Jeremy was only thirteen. We complained for hours about the camping trip our parents were taking us on with our uncle Noah, Stiles, his best friend and our aunt Jenna Stilinski. Stiles is a few months younger than me and was thirteen at the time, but he was also complaining with us. We thought it was going to be more work and stress than fun as we were in the car for about four hours. Except when we finally got to the camp site and started to help our parents with making the tent then the camp fire, we started to have fun with each other. Stiles and his best friend, Scott McCall, played a joke on Jenna and that's when we got the idea of pulling pranks on each other. All four of us started to pull harmless pranks on each other and chase each other around or wrestle each other. At night, our dads sang some classic rock songs and it was beyond off key as it was hurting all our ear drums. I pulled the puppy dog look with my bottom lip puckered out and they stopped singing before my mom and Jenna began telling us awful ghost stories as we roasted marshmallows over the fire.

Those three days were one of the best days of my life. My favorite memories of my family together. I let a small smile ease over my face as I got off my bed and took off my picture from the vanity. Then, I look up as I heard the doorbell ring and I look down at my boxer shorts with my baggy t-shirt. I shrug, wondering if Jeremy ordered a pizza as he's done before and walk out of my bedroom before going downstairs. I yell out, "I got it!" Then, I swing the door open before freezing. It was the hot guy from the burnt down house he did own. "Uh, hi?" I was beyond confused and a little worried that I wasn't worried enough that he somehow knew where I lived.

"Hi, I-" He started to say before I interrupted him.

"How'd you find out where I live?" I asked, hugging myself as I eye his face as he chuckled at me before nodding his head.

"I, uh, asked around for where the sheriff lived. Lied about needing to return a recipe I borrowed from him," He says and I frown as he cleared his throat before pulling out a notebook from his leather jacket. My eyes widen as I notice it was my sage green diary, the one my mom gave me seven months ago and the one I've been looking for in the past three hours. 

"My diary! I've been looking for it everywhere!" I say, completely baffled on how he found it or why he brought it back to me. Then, it dawned on me as he gave me my diary that he might've brought it back as some pity thing he either remembered I told him or that he read in my diary. He must of saw my expression or something as he shook his head.

"I didn't read it, if that's a concern," He said, smiling at me as I pushed some of my hair behind my ear.

"Why not? Most people would have," I said, smiling as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, I'm not most people," He said, also shrugging his shoulders.

"Why bother bringing my diary back? Go through all that trouble?" I asked, hugging myself as I wondered to myself out loud. I mean, I just was unsure why he would do such a thing for a stranger. The strange man just tilted his head and gave me what I deduced as a small smug smile, before shrugging again and turned around to walk away when I realized I had no idea who this handsome strange man is. "Wait, what's your name?" I said, making him pause before looking over his shoulder.

"Derek. Derek Hale."

"I'm Elena Gilbert," I said, smiling as he nodded his head and began to walk back to a black Camaro. I felt my face heat up as I watched him get in his car and drive off, making me feel like a normal teenage girl that just realized she was crushing on someone. Was it sudden? Oh, yeah. Was it strange? Yes. Did I care? Nope. My thoughts came to a halt when I saw my cousin's jeep pull into the driveway with his best friend, Scott McCall, coming out with him. I felt my smile change from a simple girl with a small crush to seeing my cousin. Although, him jumping out of his jeep made me frown with worry.

"Why the hell was the Derek Hale here?" Stiles demanded once he started walking my way and I rolled my eyes as Scott looked worried too.

"Hello to you too, Mieczyslaw. How was your day? Good. Awesome. My day was grand, thanks for asking," I said, crossing my arms over my chest as he cringed at the use of his first name. Stiles rolled his eyes as Scott covered his mouth to hide a laugh.

"No, what was he doing here?" He asked, again and pointed a finger at me. "And don't use my name like that! It's Stiles!"

"Oh, my god. He was just returning my diary. Happy?" I said, feeling annoyed even more as I showed them my diary before I turned around to walk back in the house.

"Wait, first, how did he know it was your diary? Second, how did you two even meet for him to know where you even live?!" Stiles said, shouting as I kept walking to the kitchen with him following him and his friend too.

"I was walking in the woods and found an abandoned burnt down house. I was writing when he came in and asked me some questions. I left my diary on accident and mentioned that my uncle, who's the sheriff, was going to be worried about me. He asked around town to come bring my diary back. What's the big deal?" I explained, feeling like I was the one in trouble for something I did wrong, which I know I didn't do anything wrong. "He was just being nice!"

"Nice? NICE!" Stiles said, making me turn to face him as it looked like a vein was about to pop. "Nice is not in Derek's vocabulary! Okay! He has some alternative motive for-"

"Shut up!" I interrupted him, making him stop for a moment. "You're not my father! Not every guy or person who's nice to me has some deranged motive! Just leave me alone!" I said, tears rushing in my eyes before I quickly walk past him and go upstairs to my room. Feeling alone and like a sad little girl, all over again, I slam my door shut and lock the door behind me. I cover my mouth, feeling small as I began to cry, wishing my mom was here to gush about how sweet Derek was to bring back my diary and his looks. I wish my dad was here to do one of his fake gag on how girly our conversations about guys were. I wish my best friends were here to give me a hug and tell me everything would be okay. That Stiles was just being an overprotective jerk and being stupid. Caroline would wiggle her eyebrows and tell me to just go for it and Bonnie would laugh at her before giving me some advice she read online.

I miss my parents. I miss my friends. I miss my old life. I miss my old self.

I sigh as it's been two days since Derek returned my diary and I yelled at Stiles. I still feel guilty for yelling at him, but I also feel just miserable. Maybe I could go back to that house? I feel weird doing it, but I don't want to feel this way. I chew on my bottom lip and decide to go for it, grabbing my backpack and packing a lunch before pausing and deciding to pack some more food as a just-in case measure that I see Derek again. I quickly leave the house and start walking behind the house to where I walked before. Knowing it'll be at least a four mile walk, I grab my water bottle and start the trek in the woods.