Chapter Text
Yesterday, my son Jack was hit by a car. Instinctively, he tried to block the impact with his hands, breaking both of his arms in the process. I was grateful that it was only his arms but there was a moment when I feared the worst, as any parent would.
The driver took off and still hasn’t been found. Fortunately, Jack’s best friend Kyle was there and called 911, then he called me. I rushed to meet them at the hospital. Jack was a trooper. I could tell he was in a lot of pain as they put the casts on his arms.
I felt something stir in my groin when they cut his shirt off of him. Jack and Kyle were both on the swim team at school and had been swimming together for a few years. They were both gorgeous teenage boys and I suspected that they were fucking.
I tried not to imagine the pair of thirteen year old boys together, but it was hard not to at times. It was difficult enough to stop myself from acting on my feelings for Jack. He didn’t make it easy, especially lately.
Jack has always been affectionate, but in the last year things have changed. He’s been flirting with me, for lack of a better word. We’ve always cuddled on the couch when we watch movies together, but now I catch him smelling me and getting boners.
Our good night kisses have become less innocent and the looks of desire that I catch from him have been tough to ignore. I’ve found pairs of my underwear and socks stashed under his pillow too. I’d like to say that I’ve been immune to his allure, but that would be a lie.
I haven’t really dated anyone since Jack was born, so I’m often left to take matters into my own hands. In the past, I’ve had passing thoughts about Jack when I jerked off, but now he’s always there in my fantasies. At first, it really bothered me but I told myself that as long as I didn’t act on it, it was just harmless fantasy.
As time went on, things progressed from innocent fantasies to something more. Lately, like my boy, I had been stashing Jack’s dirty underwear and socks for my sessions. The smell of him has been intoxicating. The first time I jerked off to his things, I came so hard that I hit myself in the face.
I had been finding Jack’s socks encrusted with his jizz when doing the laundry too. Although, not for a while. I wondered if he was eating his loads. At thirteen he probably jerks off multiple times a day. I couldn’t help but wonder what his boy batter tastes like, or if it was me he thinks about when he masturbates.
Yesterday, the doctor said he’d be good to go home but they wanted to keep him overnight for observation. I did my best to not let it show how much that bothered me. I was going to miss him, just like I did when he had the occasional sleep over at a friend’s house. There was a bright side, of course. Being alone in the house, I could jerk off to my heart’s content.
Jack didn’t seem to bothered, but that was probably the pain meds. They let Kyle and I join him in his room when they wheeled him up. They put him in a room with a devastatingly cute little guy who had his tonsils out. We stayed for about an hour before Jack gave into sleep. Both of us watched him sleep for a bit.
I could tell that Kyle had genuine feelings for him. I’ve always liked Kyle, who has also been occupying some of my fantasies lately. I feel badly for him too. His father is a real piece of work. He’s a classic homophobe and makes life difficult for both Kyle and his older brother Matt.
We said our goodbyes to him last night. I gave Kyle a hug and thanked him for everything. He held onto me for longer than I expected, then looked up at me expectantly. If we hadn’t been in the middle of a hospital parking lot, I might have kissed him. He certainly looked like he wanted me to.
I offered to give him a ride home. He graciously accepted. It was dark out and in the car, but I could tell that Kyle was crying. I took his hand and told him it was going to be fine.
When we got to his house, I wiped his tears with my hand and thanked him again. Kyle smiled and told me he wished he had a dad like me. I gave him my best understanding smile and watched as he went into his house.
God, I wanted to fuck that boy too. I chalked my feeling up to the fact that I hadn’t fucked anyone for far too long. I’ve dated guys here and there, but nothing ever came of them. They weren’t that interested in a guy with a kid.
I wouldn’t change anything. Jack was the best thing in my life and had been since he had been born. He was the only good thing to come out of my fucking a girl.
I only tried it once with this girl in high school. She wanted me even though she knew I was gay. That’s probably what drew her to me in the first place. Some women think they can change a guy.
Sex with her was ok. I surprised myself that I was able to get hard, but I was seventeen and really horny. Six weeks later, she told me the news. She was pregnant.
I managed to convince her to have the baby. My parents were very supportive and so I told her that I’d take the baby and raise him or her myself, with their help. It wasn’t an easy sell, but she eventually agreed.
Nine months later Jack was born and I’ve never loved anyone more than I did when I saw him. My beautiful boy. With my parents help, I was able to balance his care and school. I got a good job after I graduated and it’s been the two of us ever since.
I’ve watched him grow up and did my best to ignore my increasing interest in him. Now that he’s made it clear that he’s also interested, things are much more complicated. Whatever came of it, we’d still have each other, I told myself.
I don’t know how it happened. This attraction to boys. I suppose it’s always been there to some degree. I remember messing around with boys in my neighborhood when I was growing up there.
When I was a little boy, I also liked men. I found my uncle very attractive and really wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to show me what being with a man was like. I suppose that’s how Jack might be feeling about me.
So, after driving home, I decided to do some snooping in Jack’s room. I knew that he kept a journal and, up until last night, I never intruded on his privacy. But, I had to know for sure.
I pulled his journal out from under his mattress and sat on his bed. I opened it and thumbed through some of the entries. There were entries about him and Kyle, of course. That confirmed one suspicion.
There were some really sweet entries about the two of them. They were also funny. Apparently Kyle is super horny all the time and is constantly making remarks.
I paged through until I found a few entries that mentioned me. At first they were innocent musings. He questioned his feelings about me and wondered if he wanted to have sex with me.
As the entries went on, they became more blatant. He wrote that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, about my body, about the two of us in bed together. He wrote that he wanted me to be his first. He wrote explicitly that he wanted my cock in his ass.
“Oh, fuck.” I said aloud. I was impossibly hard as I read his journal. Jack wanted it and, heaven help me, I wanted it too. I wanted to fuck my teenage son.