Chapter Text
Another chilly day. Raina thought as she walked down the crowded streets of the midsize town she had ended up in three months ago. It was early October, and it was mid-morning, around 10 am now. The skies were grey and cloudy, with no sun to be seen. As she walked down the sidewalk, she noticed flyers littering the streets, hung up on walls and windows of shops. "The Freak Circus of Horrors" they all read, with a little circus tent. They were fairly plain flyers, and she wondered who in the world designed them. "Won't get as much attention with such a bland flyer." she mumbled to herself.
She adjusted her grip on her guitar case, and picked up the pace a bit. She was headed to the center of town, to the square where the most people would be. As she rounded the corner, she heard a bit of an unusual commotion.
"Hey! Get out of here weirdo!" she heard. Ahead of her, past a few other people on the side of the street, was a fat, balding man, standing over a… clown. A very large clown guy.
He'd clearly been passing out flyers, and either ran into this guy or the guy had shoved him down. He was in a red and black jester type outfit, and wearing a three pointed hat with bells on the ends. He had on black gloves, and his face was pure white, presumably makeup, because he had a sad and timid expression on his face.
"Ever since you guys showed up, people have been disappearing! Go back to whatever hellhole you crawled out of." She heard the bald man yell as she kept her pace.
She knew of the few disappearances, but she also heard reasonable rumors about them running off with lovers or away from home. It was weird and superstitious to blame a traveling circus for it. It gave of Salem Witch trials vibes and she didn't like it. People had been having mixed reactions to the circus, claiming the costumed 'freaks' were uncanny and creepy. She found it whimsical and interesting herself, although she hadn't gone to the circus. She didn't have money to spare for a ticket.
She was almost passing the man when she heard him continue "I'm talking to you, you freak! Get out of our town!"
This fucking guy.
She didn't like causing a scene, she was trying to keep a low profile here. But, screw that.
She stopped, directly behind the man. "Oi, jackass. Leave em alone. He's just doing his job. If you ask me, you're the freak here, causing a scene so early in the morning."
He turned to scowl at her. "Wake up moron, they're the ones kidnapping people."
She stepped towards him, getting in his personal space "Maybe it's you who's kidnapping people, and trying to blame it on them so no one suspects you?"
He opened his mouth, then shut it. Then his face turned red, and he said "To hell with you, I hope they take you next bitch."
She glanced around, and people were staring. Oh well.
She squatted down next to the strange clown, setting her guitar case down. She started picking up the flyers that he'd clearly dropped. "You okay?" she asked, giving him a sad smile. "Sorry, about that. Not everyone here is a piece of shit I promise."
She collected all the flyers around her as he stared silently at her. She stood, and offered him her free hand "Here, let me help you up."
He took her hand, and it took every ounce of her strength not to fall on top of him as she pulled him up.
Well no wonder he's heavy, he's gotta be seven foot tall, Jesus. She thought as she watched him stand to his full height. She had to crane her neck back to see his face.
"Some people are just like that, suspicious of everything that's different." she tilted her head to the side a bit, and offered him a genuine smile.
He nodded. She noted his cheek looked red under the makeup, like the man had struck him. "Did he hit you?" she asked, surprised she hadn't noticed.
He just stared at her, smiling. She frowned "Can you not speak?"
He shook his head. She bit her lip, "I'm sorry, I wish I knew sign language."
She sighed, and reached into her satchel. She dug around until she found her small first aid kit. She unzipped it, and pulled out a bandage she thought was the right size. "Here." she offered it to him. "But, if your head hurts, you might need a doctor. Okay?"
He took a step and reached out, accepting the bandage slowly, like he thought she might yell 'sike' and hit him too. She felt a twinge of pity for him. Poor thing. I know what it's like to be the outcast, for no good reason.
He remained silent, and tilted his head, and gave her a slow, wide smile. She could swear she saw a blush under his makeup, although she wasn't sure how that was possible.
She smiled back. She noticed him glance at her guitar case. "Oh, I'm a street performer. I was planning on playing in the square up ahead. If, you get a break, you could come listen if you want?"
He nodded enthusiastically, and she grinned "Cool. Well, I'll be there for a few hours at least. Gotta make money somehow right?" she chuckled.
He tilted his head, still smiling, as if he couldn't laugh with her but wanted her to know he would if he could. The bells on his hat made soft jingles as he moved. She waved, stepping around him "Bye, and be careful okay?"
He nodded and waved back to her.
She walked the next block and rounded the last corner, finally making it to the square. She found a bench at the center, where the most foot traffic was. She glanced around, making sure that stupid cop wasn't hanging out. She opened her case on the bench and pulled out her guitar. She tuned it, occasionally strumming it to check the sound. She pinned her own flyer inside the case "If you like my songs, donate please!" with a smiley face and little music notes around it.
She started playing, strumming the guitar. After a few moments, she started singing. It was a softer folksong, but it was almost always her opener. It was a happy melody, and people seemed to generally like it. As she sang, she watched the people passing by. A few threw some money in her case, and she'd offer smiles to them.
She noticed a few other circus people, dressed in pink outfits and masks handing out flyers. She kept singing her set, for about an hour, before she spotted the clown from earlier. He was still trying to hand out flyers, but he caught her eye and waved. She gave him a nod and a smile, as her hands were busy.
He walked closer to her, but kept a reasonable distance. She wondered if he meant to be considerate, like, he didn't want people to think they were associated. Her intuition told her that was the case. What a thoughtful guy. He looks like he's having a hard time though. No one is taking his flyers. Maybe, I'll help him out.
Once she reached the end of her song, she decided to switch it up. Raina Lachman had a gift that most singers would kill for. There were performers out there, often rappers, who could come up with songs on the fly. She was one of those sorts of performers. She changed the beat of her song to match more of a carnival theme, upbeat and energetic.
She opened her mouth, and let the words flow out. It was a horror circus, so she just, went with that vibe. She closed her eyes, formulating the song word by word.
"I heard that there's a carnival
The music there is loud, the lights are wonderful
No one makes it out, they welcome you with grins
But once you're in, you will never be the same again."
She opened her eyes, and saw the clown had stilled, staring at her. She winked at him, and she knew he blushed that time.
"You can see the show anytime you like
When you feel alone, that's when they arrive
Knocking at your door, calling in the night
How could you ignore such a lovely time?"
He started moving closer to her, slowly. His expression was blank. She looked around, seeing a small crowd forming around her, listening to her music. She stood, and started working the crowd a little.
She swayed back and forth, moving around the crowd, leaning close to people who seemed to be enjoying it, making her way closer to the clown. She gave him a pointed look to his flyers, and then to the crowd. He followed her gaze, and then it seemed to click. He grinned, and started offering the flyers to the crowd, who seemed much more receptive to him now.
"Lights and prizes, everywhere you look
Anything to keep you hooked
Empty smiles everywhere you turn
Not a single lesson learned."
She watched a small child walk up to the clown, and tug on his sleeve. He smiled at her, and instead of backing away, she smiled back at him. He handed her the flyer, and she ran back to her mother.
She was nearing the natural end of the song, and she saw him hand out the last of his flyers.
"They welcome you with grins
But once you're in, you will never be the same
No, you will never be the same again."
She strummed her guitar once more, as a gesture of finality that it was over, and offered the crowd a small bow as they clapped. The crowd quickly dispersed.
The clown stood there, about 10 feet away, staring at her and smiling. She waved him over. He walked towards her, making in to her in only three steps. "You hungry?" she asked.
He shook his head. She tilted her head, thinking. "No, you're thirsty yeah?"
He looked away from her, blushing again. She smirked "Okay, can you watch my shit? I'll go grab us a drink. You're not allergic to anything are you?"
He shook his head. "You like coffee?"
He nodded. "Okay, be right back."
She squatted down and collected the money out of her case. Damn, forty dollars ain't bad.
She set her guitar in the case, then shut it. She turned, making sure her new friend was still here. She smiled and walked off to the nearby coffee shop. The gruff man behind the counter looked at her as she entered. "What can I gettcha?"
"Two hot coffees please."
"Coming up."
She waited off to the side grabbed a couple sugar packets and a couple creamers, and once he handed her the coffees, she handed him the cash. "Keep the change." he smiled at her and nodded once.
She stepped back outside, and instantly saw the clown hadn't moved an inch. She walked over and handed him his cup "I didn't think to ask how you like it, so it's black, but I got sugar and creamer if you want it."
He nodded, and she handed it all to him. She preferred hers bitter and strong. She sipped it, letting it burn her tongue. It kept her warm that way.
She sat on the bench, and patted the spot next to her. He sat down, slowly, again as if he were afraid it was a trick. "Relax, friend. I'm not going to bite."
He was for sure blushing. His face was more red than white. She smirked "I'm Raina. I'm new here too, well, only been here three months. It's not a bad town, but I think you got a bad first impression."
He smiled a small smile, looking at his cup. He hadn't taken a sip yet. "You want something else?"
He looked up at her, surprised, and shook his head aggressively. She laughed "You'll pull your neck shaking your head that hard." He smiled at her, and looked at her guitar case, then back at her. "Ah, yeah, I started playing with a was a kid. I never learned sheet music or anything. I go off vibes and sounds mostly. Self-taught. Glad I did though, best way to earn money while traveling, unless the weather is shit."
He tilted his head. She frowned "Hmm, are you asking about the traveling part?"
He nodded once. "Oh, yeah. I…" she trailed off. Then smiled "I'm like a traveling bard. I perform so I can earn money, but, sometimes I get chased out by the police. They require permits and shit I don't have money for. Plus, I don't have any identification or anything so."
He looked concerned. She shook her head "I mean, it's not like I get arrested or anything. They just tell me to move on, so, I do." she said.
He nodded, looking at his cup again. Then he took a sip. She smiled "Well, I earned more money today than usual, I think you're my good luck charm."
The clown grinned at her. Then, he looked around and leaned over to whisper "I can talk, I'm just not allowed to while I'm working. I'm sorry."
She leaned away from him to look at his face, surprised "Holy shit I thought you were mute, my bad."
His shoulders shook a little, like he was laughing. She smiled "Well, good. Maybe if we see each other again and you're off the clock we can talk." He nodded again.
She set her coffee cup down and stood, stretching her arms over her head. "Well, I'm going to go grab some food and head back home for today. It was nice to meet you."
He smiled, but it didn't feel performative at all. She grabbed her bag and her case, and waved over her shoulder as she walked away.
As she walked down the street to her 'home', she bumped into a man in a suit. "Oh shit, sorry. You okay?" she asked.
"Of course, thank you for asking. Say, you've heard of the circus in town yes?" he said. Something about him made her narrow her eyes. "Yeah, I've seen the flyers and the performers handing them out."
"Have you been?"
She shook her head "Don't have the money to spare, I'm afraid."
He nodded "Well, I happen to have an extra. Would you like it?" he pulled a pink circus ticket out of his jacket pocket and offered it to her. She frowned, "For free?"
He nodded once. She glanced around, then looked him over. He was normal looking enough, but there was something, plastic about his face. She couldn't put her finger on it. She reached out and took the ticket slowly. He smiled and said "I'm sure you'll have fun."
She nodded once "Thanks, mister?"
He smiled, but didn't respond. Instead he stepped around her and disappeared into the crowds. "Tch." she clicked her tongue. "Strange."
She left the town, walking up the abandoned train tracks about 10 minutes out, and took a right up a dirt path in the woods. She hiked another 10 minutes until she found her little shed. It was tiny, run down and falling apart. But it had a door, four walls and a roof. It kept out the elements, which was better than nothing.
She opened the door to the shack and set her guitar case down. She sat on the bucket in the corner, and grabbed her wet wipes and wiped her face and hands with them. It'd been a while since she showered, but she tried to stay as clean as she could. It was too cold now to use the creek to wash herself now. She'd been saving up for a gym membership so she could use the showers there over the winter.
She pulled up one of the loose floorboards, and pulled out a small ziploc bag full of money.
Raina counted it "Two hundred dollars. The membership is thirty dollars for a month, and I need a new sleeping bag and coat. That, should be enough if I get the coat at the thrift store." she mumbled to herself.
She shoved the money into her wallet, and stood. She walked over to the crate she used as her pantry, and pulled out a can of tuna and a pot. She grabbed a bottle of water from her bag and poured it into the pot, and turned on her propane stove top. She waited for the water to boil, and grabbed a small bag of rice and dumped it in.
Once her dinner of bland tuna and rice was done, she scarfed it down. She then went to the creek and washed out the pot, then used a bottle of water to rinse it with some soap. It was getting colder. "Tomorrow, I'll swing by the store and get the sleeping bag, and then maybe the coat."
She looked up at the sky through the trees. It was still gray and cloudy, just darker now. She sighed. "Miss you, mom. Loads actually. I met a clown today, if you'd believe it. He was sweet, not much of a talker though. You'd have loved him, totally had those sad puppy dog eyes you fell for all the time. And, I made double the money I normally make cuz of him." she frowned "But, people can be cruel, as you know. I hope he's okay." then she smiled again "Maybe I'll see him tomorrow." She often spoke to the sky at night, hoping her mom was up there somewhere listening and keeping watch over her.