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at the time of the moment, they had around 40 ap classes.
a lot of it was nerd shit, like chem and physics and calculus.
then they had art and drawings and culture and language and other more artsy nerd shit.
Do not call it nerd shit.
im just calling it as it is. youre only offended because youd take those classes.
Why yes I would! Plenty of respectable adults have taken numerous AP classes.
It’s a good measure of discipline and dedication.
yeah yeah its nerd shit. only a nerd would ask to stack on college work as a high school student.
its sooooooo unnecessary. why even do that to yourself?
A love of learning, college credits, and a drive to become the very best version of themselves.
At least, that’s how it was before the moment
weeeooo weeeooo oh there goes the nerd alert
my name is ten and i wanna take all the hard classes. gimmie uh…
ap calculus and ap calculus because you know
for some reason we have two and ap world history and ap biology and
ap spanish and ap language and composition although everyone calls it lang
and lemme only get like two hours of sleep a week
Haha. Very funny.
Actually, I think I have an AP class for you.
oh hell no
Not even AP Lunch?
oh hell yes
I should have expected that.
well duh of course id take it. thats right up my alley!
first and foremost there's your form. the true basics.
what lunch box did you bring?
how do you carry yourself though the cafeteria?
who do you sit with?
Please don't actually entertain that idea. I was joking.
and i would NOT sit with you and your pretentious ass friends
ohhhh look at me im taking five million ap classes
ahhh im so stressed god i really hope i get a five
ohhh what did you get on the most recent testtt
oh my god i was so cooked ohhh i only got a ninety one
im failing with a b minus my life is over i literally cant go onnnn
Are you done yet?
im so stressed because i chose to take every ap class on the planet
even though i might not even get college credit for it.
i love to suffer and everybody should know about it
i suffer more because im smarter and
im better than you you incompetent fools
okay now im done
...
I guess you have a point.
About the burnout and expectations, specifically.
These kids would push themselves to the point of collapse without
knowing if there would ever be return.
That was just the American way before the moment.
Push and push and push; Work and work and work.
I imagine they were exhausted.
burnout central over there
Burnout central indeed.
It’s understandable why they loved to brag.
It doesn’t make it any less annoying though.
those little shits love to brag
Those little shits live to brag!
Bragging fuels them.
They need to know it’s worth it.
They feel fulfilled by breaking themselves
down and getting back good scores.
They take pride in their work.
little masochists
It’s really a shame though, that our brightest students
18,000 years ago broke themselves down for nothing.
Now that everybody’s immortal and can take college classes whenever
they stressed themselves out for nothing.
they wasted their highschool years.
instead of going to football games or doing sports or musicals or whatever junk
these kids load up on the work and nearly kill themselves.
its depressing to think that thats all they thought they were.
And it sticks with you.
And it really fucks you up.
18,000 years ago and they’re still feeling the impacts.
Perfectionism, self-loathing, anxiety. They’re still pushing for some obsolete goal because it gives them meaning.
Even if it hurts them.
but they're more than that
like, i might be an awesome space probe but i can see that its tearing them apart.
worthless goals to waste time
it should be fun
It should be fun!
But they stress themselves out!
It’s like they’re addicted to it!
theyre little adrenaline junkies
They’re like little alcoholics without meeting the drinking age.
apholics
bartender, give me a shot of physics!
followed by a shot of physics two!
And don’t forget physics c!
And the other physics c!
LMAO WHY ARE THERE TWO
Mechanics is one and electricity and magnetism is the other.
Two different types of physics!
AND HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS TAKE THIS SHIT
That's what the AP is for!
LMAO
LMAO
anyways, back to ap lunch.
i know you think i’d have one of those cartoon lunchboxes but i wouldnt.
i’m gonna get one of those metal ones with all the little containers
because if im gonna lunch IM GONNA DO IT RIGHT
and then id pack one container full of pretend spaghetti
my pretendsgetti
Do not call it that.
and then the other compartments will be full of treats.
im talking oreos, poptarts, gogurts, all the shit the kids want.
i’ll finish it off with the sweetest koolaid.
and then i’ll make the most awesome lunch trades.
i’m gonna walk away with so much more shit than i walked in with
they’re gonna hail me the lunch king
The Lunch King?
tthe lunch king.
even tho i’d be king i’d still introduce the ultimate trading system.
lunch capitalism. i’ll build a lunch empire.
good lord
you asked
That I did, and now I'm regretting it.
and im going to absolutely rule ap lunch. ill be one pretentious lunch mfer.
theyll have no choice but to give me a five.
ill set the damn curve. you wanna five?
too damn bad you need a ninety
or better yet, challenge the king of lunch to a duel.
This isn't really AP class territory anymore.
well everythings changed over the years
if kids were expected to sit down and take one stupid long ass test to determine a years
worth of effort then they have every right to duel.
You’ve got a point, they do deserve some fun.
But you’re forgetting AP classes don’t exist anymore.
No kids.
no kids to take them stupid exams
It’s probably for the better that AP classes don’t exist anymore.
They were so toxic for those kids.
their classes had funny names.
like theres calc for calculus, lit for literature, sike for psychology, uhhhhhh
hug for human geo. thats kind of sweet.
but you wanna know what really takes the cake?
Sure, why not?
apush. its american history, but its so fun to say.
i like to imagine those kids saying “youre apushing me to the brink”
“teach is really apushing me to complete this homework”
“im gonna apush you down the stairs”
This is just the APUSH I needed.
see see youre getting it
four hundred years of merican history.
I love the part where the receding hairline eagle comes in and guns down the british.
That’s not what happened and you know it.
its not my fault im french lady
And yet I don't see you taking AP French.
oh hell no fuck the french
theyre only good at three things.
revolutions, bread, and space probes
Breaking News: Juice’s massive ego rearing its massive head once again.
as much of a fun name apush has its a damn boring test to take. fifty five questions followed by like
five essays
whats the difference
The Short Answer Questions--three in total--have multiple parts to them and can be answered in a few sentences.
The Document Based Question is a long essay where it is required to use the documents given.
yawn
The Long Essay Question is like the DBQ but minus the sources. Students must bring outside evidence.
weeeooo weeeooo ohhh there goes the nerd alert again.
i wish i could power this thing off but there goes ten being a nerd every five seconds weeeooo weeeooo
Fuck you, you asked!
love you too lady
There’s a lot of things covered in APUSH most high schools don’t cover.
Even though humanity is so far in the future, it’s still good for Americans to touch back on their roots.
yeah yeah embrace your history, culture is awesome.
if this class was still around who would even want to take it and its bullshit exam
I would. I would like to take APUSH.
Oh, hi Nine!
yo niner whats up
You should be recharging right now.
Why are you up so early?
I really couldn’t sleep. Plus, you guys started talking about history. You guys know it’s my thing.
Well it’s nice to have you! Juice and I were just talking about old AP
WEEEOOO WEEOOO OH MY GOD THE NERD ALERT IS GOING OFF LIKE CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY
IVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY NERDS IN ONE PLACE BEFORE. WEEOOO WEEOOO
Shut up.
Shut up.
damn tough crowd
thats to be expected considering theyre BOTH NERDS.
And you’re one of those football jocks.
All brawn and no brain.
:(
ouch but thats a pretty fair trade off if i get to have massive biceps
Lol get got Juice
Oh. I’m sorry, I thought we were just joking. Sorry.
dont feel bad. we’re just joking
yknow the “perpetual hangout” thing?
Oh. Right, sorry.
I guess I’m still getting used to this.
even after a few thousand years or
Yeah. Still a little jarred.
Hey Nine? Is something up?
No, I'm all good. I just couldn't sleep.
Okay. But if there is anything up, you can always tell your little sister.
Yeah, yeah I know. Thanks.
Love you.
(im just gonna uh… see myself out)
(looks like you two need a sibling chat)
(Thanks, Juice.)
So what's really up?
Nothing. I just can't
Shut the fuck up.
okay sorry
No, I’m sorry. That was a little harsh.
Usually cursing at you doesn’t make you so timid.
So, why can't you sleep?
And don't give me a bullshit answer.
Sorry. Can I have a moment to collect my words?
Of course. Take as long as you need.
I guess I just don’t want to sleep. Well I do but.
I’m also dreading waking up again.
I’m anxious. I feel like something bad is going to happen when I wake back up. I know I have nothing to be scared of, but something is driving me mad.
And even if you did have something to be scared of, I’d still be here for you.
Thanks, sis. I dunno what I’m feeling. I need an analogy.
Take all the time you need.
It’s like a Sunday night. It’s late.
I’m dreading Monday morning.
If I had a heart it would be racing.
My mind is so loud but I can’t get my body to leave my bed because I know I’m supposed to be trying to sleep.
I see. Thank you for sharing your feelings.
I love you, remember that.
I know, and I love you too.
Hmm. I couldn’t help you here, sorry.
We feel anxious too, so you’re not alone.
But when it comes to sleeping, none of us really have sleep anxiety.
Usually when we need to charge we just…
Conk out.
And usually I conk out too. But for some reason I just can’t today. I’m too on edge.
Huh. What's your battery at?
12%. I’m not going to work to exhaustion and I don’t want to either.
So you managed to doze off for a bit.
Mhm. And I guess I got woken back up by this weird bad feeling.
I shouldn’t have anything running in the background while I sleep.
Did I absorb some negative radio waves?
Did something bad just happen?
Not as far as I’m aware. I’m sure we would have gotten wind of it if something bad happened.
Juice would have been tagged on twitter by one of his human friends or something.
Oh wow. He has twitter?
Of course he does. It's Juice.
Such a Juice thing to do.
Remember a few decades ago when we both hibernated for a couple decades?
Yeah? What about it?
Want to know his tweet average in the time we were absent?
I feel like it's going to be really bad.
But tell me anyways.
4.2 tweets per day.
Oh! That's not bad!
For decades, Nine. We were gone for decades.
4.2 tweets a DAY.
Okay. That gets a little worse.
And you want to know what the maximum is?
Is it higher than 4.2?
Oh by a lot, yes.
Why don't you guess?
...
Are you trying to distract me from my anxiety?
Yes. Is it working?
Sorta. Give me a minute
30 tweets in one day.
Hmm good guess.
But not even close.
50.
Higher.
100.
Higher.
200?
Higher.
Who gave this probe access to twitter?
He gave himself access to twitter.
Of course he did.
The answer is 2,154.
2,154 tweets. In one day.
Yeah, that's...
Let me do the math.
89.75 tweets per hour.
1.49583333 tweets per minute.
OH MY GOD. What is he even tweeting about?
Hmm let me check.
Football,
Duh.
Drag queens,
Oh. What?
Fandom culture.
He's joined quite a few fandom wars.
He gets into a lot of fights.
He really makes the effort to respond to everyone. He’s got a lot of mutuals. And a lot of time on his hands.
Or rather, booms.
What fandoms?
Uhh. My Chemical Romance.
They have a fandom?
Oh and he tagged the creator of Twilight.
What's that?
...
I didn't think he'd be the type to read that.
He’s retweeted some history stuff.
Probably to ask you.
Oh! That's awful sweet of him!
Unfortunately a lot of it is conspiracy.
Strange. For being a sentient space probe he tweets a lot about the moon landing being fake.
Oh and JFK’s assassination.
He better not be throwing shade at JFK.
He’s the reason why America committed so much to space.
Ah, the history nerd.
Sorry, sorry, it’s just…
Kennedy put us into motion, y'know?
And while he never got to see it, the projects he wanted to happen became sentient.
Pretty neat, isn't it?
Pretty neat.
Are you feeling any better?
Yeah. I am. I can’t sleep but…
I’m less anxious now.
Good. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Can I just stay with you guys for now?
Until I’m ready to sleep?
Of course you can!
We’d never turn you away.
Thank you. I love you.
I love you too.
You remind me a lot of those AP kids. More specifically, AP history kids.
I think you would have enjoyed APUSH. You would have loved the complexity and the detail.
Yeah. I would have. I love learning about home.
If only I were human.
If only we were human before the moment.
You have all their good traits. You’re spunky and tenacious.
But you also embody their bad traits. Their
Anxiety?
I was going to say existentialism.
Oh. That too.
I love you and I support your hobbies, but promise me you won’t burn yourself out trying to learn all the history in the world.
You’re too good to lose your spark like that.
I promise. I've got all the time in the world.
Good.
Will you promise me the same?
I will. I promise.
Good. Thank you.
I'd give you a five on the APUSH exam.
Aww. Thanks. Maybe I’ll go look at some practice tests later and do them for fun.
Oh! How educational!
Send me the rubrics and I'll be your grader.
Are you also going to put me in a sterile room for three hours?
Proctor me so I can't cheat?
You know it.
Oh my goooodddd I was right you guys are neeerddssss.
Oh, hey Juice!
WEEOO WEEOO sorry nine i cant hear you over the nerd alert
The bit's over bro.
okay im done. but seriously, practice exams for fun?
Yeah, what else am I to do with infinite time?
Exactly. Can’t waste time if you’ve got an infinite amount of it.
It’s better than creating football games that last for thousands of years.
Ohhh. Burn.
GASSPPPP.
BUT YOU LIKE THE BOWL GAME!
BETRAYED BY MY OWN BROADCAST PARTNER.
how could you? you wound me so. i might never recover.
Good job, Nine. Keep him down for the next millenia.
Thanks Sis!
:)
Of course, Sib!
:)
(sorry juice)
(its chill)
(can i still be your broadcast partner?)
(duh. always and forever)
glad to see youre feeling better
Thanks guys.
I love you.
Love you too!
love y'all
so how do we feel about ap football
NO!
like a class about football or a game that requires taking ap exams
No to both of you!
I refuse to let you bastardize AP classes!
lol
lol