Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Colt stared down at his legs, running his hand through his hair. He'd just got a call informing him that Ryland had volunteered for the Hail Mary mission. 

He hadn't said goodbye. 

He'd have to call Sebastian soon to arrange to meet up. The last Gentry brothers standing, as far as they knew. Driver could still be out there somewhere, but he doubted it. Just like their dad had said all those years ago, Driver was on a road to killing himself someway or another. He'd said that about Colt too. 

What would dad say about them now? 

Murdered in prison. 

Missing. 

On the way to die in space saving the world. 

Owner of a jazz club.

Stunt-man. 

Colt forced himself to stand up. The trailer was suddenly very claustrophobic. The evidence of his initial reaction to the news was shattered pieces of glass that crunched under his feet. He had his boots on, so his feet were safe, but his hands were throbbing, a wet substance running to the tips of his fingers and dripping down. 

He shouldered out of the trailer and stepped into the Australian sunlight. Everyone was watching the launch, so there were no shoots today, just a lot of prayer and awe. 

He found Jody standing in front of a screen with a group, watching a replay of the launch with commentary.

"Jody?"

She began to turn, "Oh! Colt, I was wondering where you were- have you been watching-" She stopped. "Oh my gosh, Colt, are you okay?"

He wanted to give her a thumbs up, he really did. But they'd had that talk, and his hands were sore, pieces of glass probably still lodged in them. He couldn't do anything. For the first time in at least ten years, Colt Seavers was frozen. His eyes welled. 

"What did you do to your hands?" She was so much closer now, and she lifted them to examine them gently. He stared down at her numbly.

He was vaguely aware of the fact he was making a scene. People were staring. But he also had tunnel vision, and at the end of the tunnel was his brother, unconscious in space. 

Colt swallowed and finally forced out, "We- we need to talk."

"Let's get you patched up first- did you break a window? We haven't had any glass-related stunts… Did you break a glass? Here, let's get you to the nurse."

"Jody." He said more firmly. "We need to talk."

She froze, staring into his eyes, the severity of whatever was bothering him fully dawning on her. "O-Okay."

….

"Colt! Ryland! Are you ready?"

Ryland peaked out of the doorway, "What about breakfast?"

Colt shouldered past him, adding in a snarky tone, "Should've thought of that sooner. Now you have to wait until lunch."

Courtland rolled his eyes, "Grab a granola bar. And grab me one too."

Ryland pressed his lips into a line as Colt also put in his order. Then, they were filing out the door, onto the rickety porch, and then piling into the 90's Ford pickup with a faded red paint job that was Driver's first child. 

Courtland got shotgun. They stopped fighting him for it years ago after Sebastian genuinely got hurt. Driver was, well, the driver. Sebastian was already sitting behind Courtland, Ryland got middle, and Colt shoved in behind the driver. 

Colt leaned up against the window, ignoring the homework in his bag while Sebastian tried to wrangle Ryland into doing some studying for a test they had coming up. Ryland was confident enough that he didn't need to, so he didn't study. Ryland passed Courtland and Colt their respective granola bars and got a, "What? You didn't get me one?" From Sebastian and a, "Rude." From Driver. 

Colt knew Driver didn't actually care though, he didn't care about anything besides cars and girls.

Colt tore open his granola bar and bit into it. It was stale, and his least favorite flavor.. But he had been taught not to waste. So he gave it to Sebastian who was more than suspicious, but ate it regardless. 

A few minutes later Seb and Ryland were bickering about something school related. Colt remembered when that was him and Ryland, before Ryland left him and moved up into Seb's grade. He'd probably pass Seb soon too, he'd hang out with Driver then. 

"I don't know when he's gonna be home, Casey, I'm sorry." Courtland whispered. Colt cocked his head a little bit. The two oldest brothers were talking in hushed voices masked by the arguments in the back. Driver said something he couldn't hear before, "He'll come back."

Colt frowned, he was about to ask what they were talking about when Driver muttered bitterly, "I hope he doesn't."

Courtland stared back at Driver in shock, but his expression evened out into just a quietly conflicted face. "I don't think we could handle that."

Colt kept listening for a while, but that was the end of the conversation. 

At school, he met up with his friends and went to their various classes together before noon. At lunch, he passed Ryland and Seb who were on their way out of lunch period. He very pointedly ignored them and Ryland very pointedly ignored him right back. 

Later that day Colt was digging in his locker for his science textbook when something caught his ear. "You know the whole Gentry family is screwed up. My sister has classes with a few of them, and she said she's never heard the quiet one talk." 

"Aren't you friends with the other smart one?"

"Sebastian? No. I only talk to him because he gives me help with homework. Even then, he's not that good. That's why I'm trying to be friends with the little one. The little freak who skipped eighth grade."

Colt poked his head out from behind the door and glared at their wake. Two boys that Sebastian was 'friends' with were talking. His blood boiled as he stared at their smug faces. Laughing at his brother's expense.

"Hey!" He barked, closing the distance. They turned just in time for him to deck the closest one in the face. He recoiled, holding his nose and stumbling back. A manic grin spread across Colt's face while he shook out his knuckles. "Heard you were bad-talking my brothers?"

The one who he hit started rambling, "What the- See? They're all crazy!" 

The other one took a swing, but Colt ducked and grabbed his arm, flipping him over his shoulder. 

He thought that was overwith but the one he'd hit must've recovered fast because he grabbed Colt from behind. Was he this big a minute ago? The one he'd flipped over his shoulder was up and while Colt was struggling he got in a good hit right into his eye with horrible form. 

He recoiled from the punch, shaking his hand out in the same moment Colt was blinking away the tears that come with getting hit near the nose. Colt bared his teeth right before he bit the guy's arm and stomped on his foot with all his strength. He howled in pain and smacked Colt across the face. Colt held his face and looked up through his fingers, just to see that guy get slammed into the locker. 

Driver had joined the fight! 

He shoved the guy down, "Stay down." He muttered darkly, and the guy held his face, staring at Driver angrily. After a momentary staredown, Driver helped Colt up. "You good?"

"Y-yeah."

"Who started it?"

"Depends on the definition."

"Courtland's going to freak."

Colt held his face a little tighter, trying to soothe some of the pain. "Yeah. He will." 

They stood still in the middle of the hallway for a moment before Driver whispered, "Dad's going to freak."

Colt's breath caught. 

A half hour later, they were both sitting in detention, Colt holding an ice pack to his face and knuckles. The guys they'd fought across the empty classroom, holding their own ice packs and glaring across the way at them. 

At the end of the day, when detention was over, Courtland appeared in the doorway, a furious glimmer in his eyes. "What were you two thinking?" He announced, his voice on the edge of a yell. 

One of the guys scoffed, "Crazy. All of them."

Courtland sent them a glare that could freeze the sun, before turning back to his brothers. "Come on. I need to yell at you." 

He left. 

"Rest in peace, us." Colt muttered, grabbing his backpack and standing. 

When they got out to the truck, Driver and him were the only ones out there, Seb and Ryley taking their time. "I have until four. What happened?"

Colt raised his eyebrows. He thought for sure Courtland was going to yell at him. Court raised an eyebrow at Driver, but he shrugged. 

Colt sighed. "They were bad-talking us. Specifically Seb and Ryley. They called them freaks, and said that they were only friends with Seb for grades."

"So you punched him?"

Colt nodded sullenly. 

"Then Driver came and backed you up?"

Colt and Driver both nodded.

Courtland sighed before he started laughing- Actually laughing!- a little and soon he was full on howling with laughter. When he finally caught his breath he turned and gave Colt a fist bump. "Good job. You guys want to get ice cream?"

Driver and him both shared a glance before Colt said, "Uh yeah!"

Chapter Text

He tapped his foot on the front porch, dirty converse ratty and untied. 

There were about two trees in the yard, both large, though one was mostly dead at the peak and the leaves that were alive were turning reds and yellows. The other tree had a tire swing tied to it. 

The driveway snaked right past that one before splitting into a fork to lead to both the house and the workshop. The workshop that's nicer than the trailer house that they all live in with the poorly attached front porch. 

Sebastian leaned his head against his hand. He couldn't wait until they weren't here. He couldn't wait until he graduated high school and could get as far from here as he could. 

School had been his escape in ways. Not that he'd enjoyed school, but it had been somewhere away from home where he had friends. Or he'd thought he'd had friends. Turns out they were just using him. 

Sebastian felt tears coming to his eyes and wiped them away violently. It was like dad said. Boys cry, men don't. He inhaled sharply and held it in until he needed to gasp for breath. 

How could he be so blind? 

In hindsight it was so obvious, they never liked him. Not once. Conversations were always forced, and they always seemed way too excited to talk about school work than what was normal. In hindsight, he wondered if on some level he did actually know.

The door opened behind him and he got up, crossing to the car. Today was grocery day. 

Dad wasn't home. Still. 

It was weird not having him around, they had cereal for dinner almost every night, and they were getting sick of it. Who knew that was possible. So Driver and him were going to get groceries after they dropped the other three off at Courtland's football game. 

Of course it was also weird not having him around for other reasons. They were allowed to watch TV and they didn't have to be quiet after he got home. And there weren't any new bruises. Besides what Colt had gotten defending him, that is. His face had really swelled up and gotten to an ugly purple color. They were pretty sure that he hadn't broken his nose, though.

Sebastian sat in the back. The radio station when he sat down was smooth jazz, and he tapped his foot for the few beats it was allowed to play before it was shut down in favor of some trashy pop music.

They dropped the others off at the game and Sebastian slipped into the front seat. They drove off in silence, turning down the various streets. The sun was setting in the distance. Winter was really close now, the sun was setting early. 

"You okay?" Driver finally asked.

Sebastian glanced over, before averting his gaze again. "I'm fine."

"You know.. I never really have had very many friends. You know that. Well- there's a reason for that." He paused. "People suck, Seb. And if they genuinely think that little of you, they aren't worth it."

Seb breathed a bitter laugh. "Yeah?" 

Driver gave a single nod.

"You want to know something that sucks, Driver? Worse than them?"

"Hm?"

"I knew what they were doing."

Driver raised an eyebrow and turned to look at him. Everything was on fire from the sunset, shining orange light straight through the leaves, and setting the inside of the car and Driver's eyes on fire.  

"Yep. I knew. But I know no one will like me if they don't get something in return." Seb threw up his hands, and his voice broke a little, "So I played along. Turns out all of that, all of my help and they still didn't like me."

Driver nodded slowly a few times before announcing, "People suck."

Seb snorted, and they both said, "People suck." In unison, causing them both to begin a laughing fit. 

After they both calmed down, Driver pulled into the parking lot and turned to look at him, "Hey, at least now you know that if anyone messes with you all we have to do is sic Colt on him."

Sebastian scoffed a laugh, "Yeah, apparently."

They went inside and got stuff to make actual food. Seb couldn't help but feel empty looking at the family around him. Courtland was athletic and strong while still getting good grades. He had a lot of friends, too. Driver was handy and on track to get a scholarship to a trades school. Mostly for welding. Colt was athletic and fiery with so much ambition. Ryland was a genius. He'd pass Seb soon and leave him behind, graduate and go off to go get some epic amount of knowledge in college, probably on a full-ride scholarship. 

Then he looked at himself. There wasn't anything special about him. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't get as good of grades as Ryland, he wasn't athletic, he wasn't handy. He liked music, but all he could do was listen. All he could do was play a few cords on the piano, and they didn't own one.

Heck, the only way he'd made friends in the first place was by helping them with their homework and even then they wanted to get Ryland and not him. He wasn't funny, he wasn't cool, he wasn't particularly attractive. He was just there. 

….

Sebastian hadn't wanted to stay at school or go to work with Driver, so he had had Driver drop him off at a large strip mall in town. The only real entertainment area in town, really. There was shopping, a sporting goods store, lots of food and a few actual entertainment areas including an old fashioned club. 

He went into a few stores, but didn't buy anything. Mostly because it was extremely expensive. He did buy a smoothie, however. Which was nice, since every time they went to town together, he always got outvoted on smoothies in favor of ice cream. 

It was far from crowded, but for the area there were still quite a few people. It was a Friday afternoon, after all. He was glancing in the window of a store when he glanced over and saw Will and Brennon. The boys that had caused all the drama in the first place. 

Sebastian panicked and slipped past the store he was looking in on and into the alleyway. He huffed, feeling like a coward and slumped against the wall next to a door.

Someone was playing music inside the building. The back door he was next to was propped open. Actually, multiple someones were playing music, a whole band! And it was jazz. 

He listened carefully, and tapped his foot to the song. Soon, he pulled out a few of the papers and started writing an essay he'd been putting off. The music was catchy for sure, but it was also calming in the sense that it helped him focus. They weren't open yet, so what he was hearing had to be rehearsal. 

After a half hour, the music paused and he heard some of the guys talking. Seb frowned, he wished that they'd keep playing. They were really good. 

He was interrupted from that thought by someone walking out the back door next to him. Sebastian looked up from his paper and stared at him like he'd been caught doing something illegal. 

He was a taller bald black man in a button up shirt and he hadn't noticed him yet. Heat flooded his cheeks, was he trespassing? He must look homeless. The man let out a large sigh before turning around. 

They both froze. 

The man's face softened and he raised his eyebrows, "Uh. Hi."

Seb lifted one hand into a half-wave. "H-Hi."

"What're you doing out here?" He glanced up and down the alley, "You alone?"

Seb fidgeted with his hands and nodded. "I was listening to you play."

"Do you like what you hear?" He asked with a grin. He had a thicker southern accent. And now that he was looking at him straight on, he was in his sixties, probably, with a grey mustache on his face. 

Sebastian nodded, "I like jazz."

"That's not something I hear everyday from someone your age, what's your name, kid?"

"Sebastian. Sebastian Gentry."

"Well, I am Elijah. Elijah Dawson." He held out his hand. Sebastian stared at it for a moment before taking it and shaking it. "It's nice to meet you Sebastian." 

"Nice to meet you, too."

Elijah glanced around, "Do you want to come inside? I think a storm is coming and you can listen to us play until we open and do your homework at one of the tables."

Seb blinked, "Really?"

"Yeah. Come on in."

Sebastian examined the man's face for any hint of malice, but all he saw was someone who wanted to be kind. So Seb gathered his papers together and followed him inside. It was a jazz club, like he knew, but the inside really sold it. There was an old-fashioned tile dance floor with a diner surrounding it with circular tables. A stage on the back wall with posters from the fifties to sixties then through the seventies and eighties up until the present day. Seb settled into a chair at a table a few away from the stage. 

"Everyone. I'd like you to meet our new friend Sebastian." The band turned towards him and Seb waved awkwardly. "Here, Seb. This is Devvie, Archie, Louis and Donna. On the sax, drums, Bass, and vocals. And I'm on the keys."

They were so cool. 

Sebastian spent the next hour enamored with their abilities and how they were so in-sync with each other. He could have stayed longer, it was only five forty-five. But his phone buzzed and he flipped it open to see an unread message from Driver and a missed call.

He stepped out to a corner and called him back. It only rang once. "Where are you? Dad's back, we have to get home." 

Seb cursed, "I'm at the jazz club, I'll meet you outside."

"Why are you at the- nevermind just get out here!"

Sebastian grabbed his bag and shoved the papers inside. Elijah glanced up, pausing the music. "Are you leaving already?"

"Yeah. My brother's picking me up early, I just got the call. Thank you for this. Really."

"Oh yeah. You can come by anytime. The back doors are always unlocked."

"Really? Um- Thank you, I'll try!"

The storm Elijah mentioned had arrived and Sebastian ran out to the pickup which was stopped at the curb in pouring rain. He hadn't noticed. The other three were already in the car, and the second his door closed they were tearing off.

Chapter Text

"Alright, break for water." Coach Davis announced and Courtland jogged over to the bleachers that they all put their stuff on, and took a sip of water and checked his flip phone-, holding the water in his mouth for a moment before swallowing. 

The top message was under the contact of, "Dad." 

Well crap.

Courtland opened his phone, reading frantically, even as the break ended just as quickly as it started. "I'm home. Come back now."

Courtland's breathing spiked and he took a gasping breath before putting a lid on it, and glancing around, was the world this quiet a second ago? It felt like- it felt like his head was being shoved underwater and he was drowning. He could feel the hand on the back of his neck shoving him under. Casey. He needed Casey. Courtland typed in a simple message to Driver, punching in the enter button. 

"Earth to Courtland! Come on, let's go!" Coach Davis shouted, clapping his hands together, and Courtland jumped before admonishing himself. 

He swallowed, seeing everyone waiting for him on the field and Davis gesturing for him to come with his arm. "Coach, I've got to get going, I'm sorry. Something came up."

Coach Davis groaned, looking around briefly. "Start the drill." 

Then Davis was crossing the field towards him, "Coach, you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't serious."

Davis sighed, "Can you tell me what's going on?"

"I'd prefer I didn't."

Davis sighed, "That's fine, Courtland, just don't make this a habit."

Courtland smiled grimly, "I won't."

Davis smiled too, also sadly, "I know you won't. Good luck, kiddo."

Courtland blinked, giving him a crooked smirk, before dropping it and looking back towards the school building. "I should probably get Colt from watching the cheerleaders practice."

Davis rubbed his eyebrow, "Is that seriously what he's doing?" 

"Probably."

"Go get him, then. And teach him some respect while you're at it!" Davis turned to walk away.

"It's probably just a phase, it's not like I've never done that."

Davis turned on his heel and continued walking backwards, raising his hand as if to ask a question before opening his palms towards him, "You know what, I don't want to know. Just nip that in the bud! It's a good way to get punched!"

Courtland gave him a thumbs up and changed out of his cleats before trudging up to the locker room and changing out of his padding, throwing on sweat pants and a plain t-shirt. While he was digging in his bag, he found his packet of gum and slid a piece into his mouth, already feeling just a little more focused. 

The calm he always got bantering with Davis was fading away into the dread that makes his chest hurt every time he goes home. He's not afraid of his dad. Really, he's not. He's afraid of what would happen if people found out what his dad did. 

His fingers automatically moved to caress the burn scar on the inside of his wrist. That was from before mom left them. He automatically stiffened at the memory of the intense, all-consuming pain of it. Courtland shook his hand out and wandered the school until he found Colt, watching cheerleaders practice, as he'd guessed, but at least he was actually pulling his weight. He was helping the coach out a little and joining jokingly. The girls seemed fine with entertaining a thirteen year old for an hour or two. In fact, Courtland knew that Colt was actually friends with one or two of the girls who were trying to show him a stretch that he was doing badly on purpose. 

"Colt!" He announced and several blonde and brunette heads turned towards him, including Colt's.

"Hey, Courtland!" One of the girls giggled, "Is practice over already?"

"Uh no. We just have to leave early. Come on Colt!" Colt rolled his eyes and hiked his bag over his shoulder and ran after him, "Where's Ryland?"

"I think he's in the science classroom. What's going on?"

Courtland cut a few corners on his way over, most of the lights in the halls were off and it just made his stomach drop further. He fished in his pocket and popped another piece of gum into his mouth, smoothly ignoring Colt's question. 

Was the science teacher still here? That was strange.

Before they made it to the classroom, though, Courtland had to get a quick conversation out of the way, "You gotta quit watching the cheerleaders."

Colt scoffed, "Alyssa and Jamie invited me. We have several classes together. Believe it or not, I'm not being a creep."

Courtland raised his eyebrows at that one. 

He glanced in the doorway to the classroom. The lights were on and his teacher Mrs. Jenkins was writing on the whiteboard and talking to Ryland, who was writing furiously in a binder. 

Courtland knocked on the doorframe, both Mrs. Jenkins and Ryland turned to look at him. "We got to go, Ryley."

"Did practice get out early?" Ryland asked.

"No, but we need to get home. Grab your stuff." Courtland nodded at Mrs. Jenkins, "I'll see you on Wednesday."

"Goodbye. See you tomorrow, hopefully, Ryland."

"I'll be there!"

The second they were out of view, Courtland grabbed both of their arms and started speed-walking. They needed to get going. 

Casey was already outside, Sebastian wasn't in the back but they picked him up on the way home. 

"Okay, what's going on?" Ryland asked when they were all in the truck and a few minutes into the drive. He was wiping down his glasses with his shirt and raising an eyebrow at him, worry making itself obvious in the rapid tapping of his foot. 

"I need you guys to take two deep breaths first." It was a thing their mom used to do for them when they were little to make them calm down. They hadn't really done it since before she left, eight years ago, but every now and again it made a reappearance. Courtland wondered if they even remembered it. 

He heard a groan from the back seat, Colt. When he turned around to chew them out, he stopped. Sebastian staring at him in knowing horror.. Ryland was giving him a quizzical look before he elbowed Colt in the side and tilted his head. Courtland saw Colt's face pale. 

All three took deep breaths, and he even heard two from Driver. Courtland followed his own advice and took a long deep breath before he said, "Dad's home. I think he's angry."

Courtland turned away for the fallout, rubbing his finger over the scar on his wrist. And he glanced at Casey. He probably would fall into that state of not talking again. He'd finally gotten him to open up again, and now all of that work would go down the drain while his words got lodged in his throat again.. 

…

Courtland shouldered the door open and stepped inside, his brothers filing away behind him, and down the back hallway to their rooms. He rubbed his hands together nervously. Their dad was watching football in the little living room that barely fit them all. 

The TV muted while the game kept going. 

"Courtland, am I a joke to you?" He asked, and Courtland's blood froze. He hadn't even looked up.

He stilled his voice to the best of his ability, "No sir."

"I told you to come back now, it's been an hour."

"It- It just took a while to gather everyone together, and I needed to pack up my things… It's a twenty minute drive and Driver was-"

"Driver?" He spat, "You mean Casey?"

"Yes. Casey was at work."

"I told him to quit that job. Hank is a bad influence."

"Well, you know Casey. He loves cars."

"Yep."

They sat in silence for a while. "What'd you need me home for?"

"What? Don't want to see your old man after he's been gone for over a week?"

Courtland frowned, every sentence between them seemed to be framed by long silences, "Where were you?"

"Went all the way to Las Vegas, met a real nice lady. You'd have liked her." Courtland's nose twitches, and he fights to keep his breathing under control at his father's dripping sarcasm. 

"You left us alone for twelve days to party in Vegas?"

"I needed to get away, you five are stressful. Sad you didn't get to go?"

"What if something had happened while you were gone?" Courtland snapped, his voice raising slightly. 

"Then I would have dealt with it." His voice also changed to a darker tone to match. 

"No. We would have. You weren't around." Courtland was vaguely aware that he should back down. That he should let him be. But he was also angry, and Courtland had never been great about stuffing anger inside. Like his dad said, he had his temper. 

"You're all fine, right? I don't see what the issue is here." 

"The issue is that you left without saying anything. What if I needed to contact you?"

"That's why I trained you to be a man, Courtland." His dad stood, and Courtland's words died in his mouth, "Do you need a reminder? If you're so insufficient to keeping them safe maybe 'Driver' would be a better man than you." He spat the nickname with disgust and Courtland flinched.

"No. No, I can do it." The fight drained out of him. Driver already hardly spoke because of what their father did to him. He didn't need to get targeted. 

"You sure? Because you just sounded pretty unsure a few seconds ago, Coury."

"Don't-Don't call me that!"

His dad rounded the couch towards him and Courtland took a few steps back before forcing his legs to still and stand his ground. "And why shouldn't I?"

"That's- Mom used to call me that!" 

"Oh boo hoo! Newsflash Coury. She's gone, couldn't stand you lot so she left when she had the chance. It should have been me!" He was right in front of Courtland now, and his spittle flew into his face, the man seemed to outwardly calm, deflating and taking a step back, "But I stayed." He heaved a few deep breaths, "I stayed so I could raise you to be strong men and that you would get a good education." 

They lulled into silence for a moment, Courtland watched his dad's expression carefully, but it seemed to be over. He took another step back, but the heat was back in a flash, as the large man closed the distance and grabbed Courtland's shirt, shoving him back into the wall by the door. 

Courtland gasped, and grasped at his father's hands, his face twisting in a nasty snarl to hide the terror. "I did all of that, and all I get is attitude! Day in and day out!"

Courtland's snarl sharpened into something more precise, drawing out the words, "Get your hands off of me."

"What're you gonna do, Coury? Since you apparently can't protect them while I'm gone for a few days, what're you gonna do?"

Courtland's anger flickered into uncertainty. He was right. Without him he was useless, and no matter how strong, how big, how smart he was. It would never be enough. He thought back to all the fights his brothers got into already, how little he could protect him. How much the stares and whispers affected Ryland and Sebastian… How he'd never be enough to protect all of them. 

His dad released him with a scoff, giving one last shove. "Stay down and know your place."

Courtland stood dazed for a moment before slipping into he and Driver's room a moment or two later, too cowardly to face the youngest three in their shared bedroom. 

Driver was laying on Courtland's bed, fake-reading from a book. Courtland closed the door carefully, only allowing it to make a small clicking sound. "Did you hear all that?"

Driver gave a quick nod, looking away.

"It's fine- He's just. He's just.. Bored and needed- He needed a break." Driver didn't look back up at him. "Are you ready for bed?" Driver raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Okay, I'll just be a minute."

He slipped back out into the hallway and down to the bathroom that they all shared, and that Courtland and Driver had both nearly been drowned in, brushed his teeth and gave his face a quick rinse before going back to their room, changing into plaid pajama pants and a hand-me-down shirt from his father. 

Standing in front of his bed, he gestured, "Scoot over."

This finally made Driver look at him but he obeyed, scootching over until there was enough space for the both of them. Courtland slipped beneath the blankets, and when Driver tried to go from on top to beneath the blankets as well, he hit his head on the edge of the bunkbed and he cursed. It made Courtland snort though. That night they slept in the same bed and stayed up late talking. 

Actually talking. 

Courtland can't pick up his nonverbal cues in the dark. 

It had been a long time since he'd heard that much of Driver's voice. It was nice to hear from his roommate once in a while.

Chapter Text

"Colt, you need to see a doctor, like now." Jody decided as they finally made it to his trailer. He moved to open the door but a sharp pain shot through his hand, Jody passed him and did it for him. 

"This first."

Jody stepped into the trailer first and froze, blocking the door. "Colt.. What happened?"

She took a step inside and he scaled the steps behind her, and with fake happiness he announced, "Okay, let's get started." He clapped his hands together and cried out with pain. 

Jody was holding his hands then, "Please, Colt, I'm sure this can wait."

"I'm scared I'll lose my nerve."

Then he finally got a look at the damage he'd caused. Glass was all over the floor, shattered, a good chunk of it was bloody. He'd only broken two, three, maybe four glasses, but the scene was drastic. In the throw of emotion he'd knelt in the wreckage and even clawed at it a little. 

He glanced away, inhaling two big breaths to keep himself from losing his nerve. "Jody, do you uhm. Do you remember Driver?"

"That stunt guy you had in LA a few years back?" More than a few years, maybe seven. Him and Driver had finally worked together, it was only for two projects, and they hadn't really hung out outside of work. They had the whole estranged brother thing going on, and hadn't talked since Colt was thirteen.. Or fourteen maybe. They hadn't even told anyone they were siblings. 

"I didn't tell you the whole story about how I knew him." He began, "You made a comment about how we looked so similar.." She conceded with an impatient shrug. She probably barely remembered him. "That's because he was my older brother."

Jody's jaw went slack. Colt took another deep breath to hype himself up to keep going, "He's not the only one. In fact, I have four brothers, one of which is my twin." His voice broke on the word twin, and he lost his nerve for at least the third time since he went and got her.

"Wait wait wait. You not only have four brothers you never told me about, but somewhere out there is a second Colt running around and you didn't tell me?"

"It was a sore subject!" He shrugged, desperately trying to figure out how to explain the next part. "I only recently reconnected with my older brother, Sebastian, and… my twin." His voice lowered involuntarily and his voice was suddenly thick with tears. He sat down on the futon heavily. 

Jody eased into the seat next to him, resting her hand on his upper back, "What about the other two?"

He inhaled slowly, "Dead and missing."

Jody's eyes widened.

"My oldest brother died in prison like nineteen years ago now. Driver's been missing for six years. For all I know he could be living the life off grid in some nowhere town, or he could be dead too…" The bitterness of everything began to seep into his voice. 

"Colt." He looked up at her, "Where is this going? I'd love to hear about your brothers, but what caused.. This." She gestured vaguely at the wrecked room and to his hands. 

He inhaled again, rubbing the back of his hands in deep grooves over his thighs while she began to rub circles into his back. 

Then he stood up suddenly, startling Jody as he began to pace. "I- My twin. He's fifteen minutes older than me. But, the Hail Mary, the launch. He's been working on it. He was a genius… Anyways, I haven't been following the launch too closely because Ryland's been giving me updates, so I didn't feel the need to watch everything about it."

"Ryland.. That's his name?" He watched as the horrible realization spread across her face, "Your brother is Dr. Ryland Grace, the replacement science specialist?"

Colt gave a jerky nod and she met him halfway, wrapping her arms over his shoulders, pressing the back of his head down into the crook of her neck, his facial hair tickling her. She'd always complain about it and shove him away, and he'd nuzzle deeper into her neck to get a reaction out of her. This time they didn't do any of that. 

He wrapped his arms around her middle, settling a significant amount of weight on her, beginning to sob. An ugly, hoarse thing that hurt his throat and certainly sounded like it. And she held him. She held him and ignored the bits of blood seeping into her clothes from the still open wounds. 

Between deep breaths he whispered, "He didn't even say goodbye. Why would he do that? Why would he leave us in the dark? Why!?"

He almost screamed the last part, and moved to pull away from Jody, but she pulled him back to keep him from hurting himself more. 

After a while of standing like that Jody pulled both of them over to the couch and they sat together in an embrace until he was calm enough for her to suggest that they should get his hands checked out. 

He agreed before muttering something that made Jody still next to him, "Me and Sebastian are the only ones left. The last Gentry brothers standing…"

She got him to his feet, an arm still wrapped around his middle, leaning her head into his side while they walked the set towards where the on-site doctor was located. 

"You can invite him out. I'd love to meet him, and I'm sure you need to catch up. I'll even cover flight costs."

Colt gave her a misty-eyed stare, "That would be amazing.. I'll have to ask him, he's very busy."

"I'm sure he'd make an exception."

Colt sniffed and lifted up his hand to wipe his face, only to swipe blood over his cheek and to scratch himself with a piece of the glass. He whispered a sharp curse before scoffing into a laugh that only lasted a beat.

Jody shot him a rueful glare. 

He tried to ignore the glances that came his way when eyes turned away from the screens for things regarding the launch. Now that Jody had calmed him down some he realized how much of a scene he'd made. His hands were still dripping blood onto the dirt and now his face was bleeding. 

"Would you really fly Sebastian out?" He wondered.

Jody raised an eyebrow, "Yeah. I would."

"He's kind of a pill.."

"I wouldn't know anything about him." She said a little sourly before her expression softened, "Why don't you tell me about him?"

They arrived in the medical tent and while Colt was getting cleaned up and glass was getting removed from his hands he offered, "He's a jazz musician in Hollywood. Owns his own club."

"Really? That's.. Pretty cool. But- jazz? I didn't think anyone really liked jazz. I mean it's nice, but not really first-choice, no?"

"Don't let him hear you say that. He loves jazz more than anything else I'm pretty sure. More than us, for sure." He sniffed, remembering the last time they'd all hung out.. "If you asked him to save our lives or remove jazz from the world I'd be dead."

Jody snorted and for a moment he forgot about everything horrible, only a moment though, then things came crashing back down around him. 

His expression sobered as he continued, "In high school he'd play with this band of old guys after school. They let him do his homework there. Then he got some headphones and a few songs and we never heard from him again."

"What was growing up like?" 

He'd told her a few things, how he didn't like his dad and that he was abusive, but not a whole ton else.. Evidently. He continued in a thick voice, "Well, me Sebastian and Ryland. We all shared a room, and it only had two beds, so me and Ryley would share. But whenever we argued one of us moved to Seb's bed, and if we were mad at Seb and the other twin we'd stay in Driver and Courtland- my eldest brother's- room."

He smiled fondly, "One time I was angry at Ryland, Sebastian, Driver, and Courtland. So, I stay- OW!" He jerked his hand away as a particularly stuck piece of glass was being forced loose in his left hand. The nurse gave him a particularly chilling glare and he gave her back his hand. He huffed and started again in more vigour, "So I slept in the backseat of our pickup, I only lasted a little bit before I went back inside and climbed in with Ryland. It was fall and starting to get cold so it was pretty miserable. Anyways, when I got back, Ryland was ticked and made me sleep on the floor so I wouldn't get him cold."

Jody smiled at him, before her eyebrows furrowed, "Why is his last name Grace and yours is Seavers?"

"Well, after an incident, we all ended up in foster care or.. Prison. I took my family's last name because I wanted to get rid of my actual last name which is Gentry." He frowned at the name, knowing what that name was attached to. "I think that's what Ryland did when he decided to go by Grace, and Sebastian when he took the last name Wilder." His voice slowed and he stared down at his hands while they were cleaned, which hurt like a son of a gun, before being thickly wrapped. He wouldn't really be able to do things with his hands for several days. 

A wave of guilt hit him suddenly and he teared up. Jody, who was talking to one of the staff members, turned around, "Hey, hey. What happened, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" She said with exasperation, her eyebrows furrowing further adorably. 

"This stupid little episode.. I'm not going to be able to do much for the next few days, I'll be useless around set."

"Hey hey, that's fine. You have had a horrible day, and have been hit with some of, if not the worst news of your life. I'm sure I can get you some days off. You can help Dan coordinate if you're really itching to do something."

He gaped at her for a long time, before with a weepy voice he said, "I love you."

She shuffled over and held his head to her chest. "I love you too. We'll get through this."

Chapter Text

"Shift it into reverse." Driver muttered, and Ryland pressed down on the break and they started slowly inching backwards.

The trailer house slowly shrank further away. "You can accelerate a bit, you know." Colt muttered on Driver's other side. 

Ryland rolled his eyes and slammed his foot on the accelerator and Driver's hand flew out and grabbed the steering wheel, maneuvering them so that they didn't hit the tree.

A pale Ryland stared at him wide-eyed. Driver panted as the adrenaline began to slow, "Gently." Ryland nodded slowly, and Driver removed his hand, "Shift to drive."

They went around the bend in their driveway and he had Ryland flick on the blinker even though it was an empty road in the middle of nowhere that he regularly ignored. Colt brought this up. Driver shushed him.

They pulled out onto the gravel road, pointing away from town. He took the turn a little tight, but that's to be expected. 

The sun began its descent in the distance and the wheat fields on either side of the road rippled with the wind. An old, no longer used windmill was rotating lazily. They passed the wheat and a herd of cows chewed on grass, a few laying down and basking in the sun. 

….

Suddenly, Driver jerked forward and then to the side when Ryland suddenly began to swerve and brake, the traction of the gravel road failing them as they drifted to the left and to the right before he finally stopped, hardly avoiding putting them in the narrow ditch, and somehow perpendicular in the road.

They all took several deep breaths and Driver glanced over at Ryland, holding the wheel with a white-knuckled grip and a pale face, eyes bulging. 

The culprit, a deer, skipped past them.

"Ryland."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't swerve for animals."

"But- I don't want to kill-" He began to ramble.

"Ryland." He went quiet, "You can brake for a deer or a cat or a dog, if it is within reason. Swerving for any of those is a good way to flip a car. There's a chance a deer survives. If we flip eight times through a ditch, we won't."

"Isn't it dangerous to hit them?"

"For some cars, yes, but we drive large pickups with big grill guards, if a deer flies through this windshield, he earned killing us."

"Sorry."

"Let's switch." Ryland got out of his seat and shuffled over the top of Driver before Driver slid into the driver's seat. He turned the wheel all the way to the left, let it drift for the few inches of space they have before shifting it into drive and turning all the way right, and repeated until they were straight on the road. They let a neighbor pass before Colt took the wheel. 

Colt was worse, in different ways. He was good, but he had a need for speed that couldn't be satiated by Driver's muttered warnings to slow down, you'll ruin the truck, or slow down you'll take us off the road. Luckily, they weren't driving Casey's baby, his blue Ford. This was an old one that had hit one too many deer and had been driven by their dad while he was drunk once and hadn't quite recovered. 

Casey had been the designated Driver after that.

….

"Wait, isn't that the Turner's property?" Ryland asked as Colt began an unsanctioned turn into a field with an open gate and a worn down barbed wire fence. 

"Colt. Turn around. What are you doing?" Ryland squeaked.

He gave an evil smirk, "Just a little joy ride."

"Colt!" Ryland screeched as they hit the grass and Ryland jerked forward. Driver put his hand out to push him back against the seat. He then reached out to stop Colt when Colt found the barren patch of land he was looking for, and he was pulled into Colt's side as he began to execute a doughnut. 

Driver shouted at him to stop but his throat was beginning to close up, and it didn't come out very commanding, so instead he grabbed the steering wheel and tried to stabilize them all. Which was probably a dumb idea but he couldn't talk, and he'd ignored Ryland. 

After the second spin he shoved his foot under Colt's to hit the brake, and lurched forward as they skidded to a stop, which was probably incredibly dangerous, they were lucky they didn't tip.

That was finally when Colt looked even a little guilty, Driver pointed and Colt got out of the car. Casey eased into the driver's seat and worked his jaw, still unable to find his voice, but at least he found his glare. 

He was going to kill Colt. And it was going to be slow, and it was going to be painful. The sun was mostly set anyways, it was supposed to only be a short lesson, an introduction. 

Screw that.

The Driver's Ed instructors could deal with these two, he wasn't going to die so that they could have two more unnecessary drivers in the house.

Thank goodness no one saw them.

On the way back Colt started rambling, "Look, I'm sorry, I know that was a bad idea but it was fun, right? Driver? Casey? You have to at least admit that. Look, just yell already. You aren't as scary as Dad, just yell, scream. Hit me!"

Driver did none of that, even if his grip on the steering wheel tightened minutely. His voice still wasn't working, his emotions spiked in anger, and his throat closed up thinking about if their dad found out.

He shoved it into park after he hit the brakes hard in front of the house and slammed the door when he got out. He hopes he doesn't need to tell the twins not to talk about what happened. That should be a given.

He didn't talk to them the rest of the day, and by the next evening Driver dared to hope that they'd got off scot free. 

He was sitting on Courtland's bed the next evening. He was gone, it was late and it wasn't long until he was going to at least pretend to be asleep. The horizon had the beginnings of a storm cloud but from listening to the radio, he knew it'd miss their town. 

The door to his room slammed open, hitting the wall behind it and denting the dry wall. "Come 'ere, Casey." His dad spat.

Driver's chest seized and he had to force his hands to stay steady as he stood numbly and realized dimly that his voice was caught again. Their dad hit the door to the twins room, too, making Driver flinch. 

A few minutes later, Casey was sitting next to the twins on the couch while their dad paced in front of them. The twins were sitting so closely they might as well have been one. They would protect each other from anything, that's how close they were. None of the other brothers would ever compare. No matter how angry they get at each other, no matter how jealous, no matter how far they live in some distant future, he knows that they will always come first for each other. 

"I got a call from the Turner's." Their dad started gruffly, looking at each of them in turn. No matter how different they all looked from each other, how much they looked like their mother, they all had his eyes.

Driver glanced away. Colt only seemed to get more defiant, and Ryland seemed to shrink under the pressure. 

"Casey. I asked you to teach the boys how to drive, want to tell me why you were trespassing in Turner's field?"

Driver opened his mouth but all that came out was a small, pathetic noise. His eyes stung as the panic settled in.

"I was driving! I pulled off the road and took us into Turner's field, I thought- I thought it would be harmless fun!" Colt exclaimed.

When their dad's glare settled on him, Colt met it with practiced calmness, his shoulders shaking. Ryland chewed on his thumbnail next to him. 

"Is that so?"

Their dad began undoing his belt, and Driver tried to find it in himself to form the words and take the punishment. To do what Courtland would have done. He didn't need to, though, since their dad's glare leveled on him.

"Casey, you were in charge?"

Driver couldn't answer. 

"Casey, I asked if you were in charge."

He finally forced a syllable past the barricade to say a quiet, "Yes."

"I put you in that position, Casey, which means what they did was on you. That's something you learn in the military. If you are the leader, the team's actions are your responsibility."

Driver's head dipped.

"Come on."

His feet didn't move. 

His dad grabbed his arm with a firm grip and yanked him into the bathroom, belt in hand. Driver's shaking hands pulled off his t-shirt in time for the first strike to his back. The door slammed shut behind him, and another strike with the belt hit. Another and another. 

Driver swung around and planned to try and fight back in some way, to show him that he wasn't ten anymore, he couldn't be pushed around the same way anymore. He grabbed his dad's arm and tried to stop it, and they wrestled for a moment, but his dad is a six foot two ex-marine, and instead Driver was shoved down into the edge of the bath-tub, sliding to the floor.

His dad raised his hand again and Driver's hands flew up to protect his face. In the scuffle, his dad's grip on the belt had changed and instead of the harsh leather he got the hard metal of the belt buckle to his arm. 

He gave a weak cry and gripped his arm, curling in on himself and keeping his hands over his face, turning away from him as another strike hit his back, and another. 

He lost track at seventeen, almost half of which were with the buckle before he finally readjusted his grip. A slight wet trickle down his back made him feel sick to his stomach. 

The door burst open, "Please, it was me! I did it! He tried to stop me, and he did!" Colt protested and Driver looked out from between his fingers in horror. 

He got a sharp strike to the face for his protests and a loud, "I don't care, boy, your brother was in charge. It's on him. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two too."

Colt and Driver made eye contact then, his eyes were teary and guilt-ridden as he clutched at his jaw before he scurried out. 

….

Driver was curled up on the floor when he finally finished, covering his mouth with his hand to keep from crying too loudly. His dad slipped the belt back onto his pants, with a gruff, "Now we'll see if you learned a thing or two about responsibility."

The twins were hiding in their room when he limped out of the bathroom, grabbing his coat and leaving out the front door with it in hand, still shirtless, and traipsing towards the pickup where he laid down across the seat on his stomach. 

There was where he let himself cry, hurting his chest with the sobs. It wasn't his fault, he swears it wasn't. It was- it was Colt's fault. 

It wasn't his fault that his throat seized up- right?

He sat there for an undetermined amount of time when someone knocked on his window. He sits up with a start, hoping that the marks on his back aren't a glaring issue.

The twins both let themselves in, Colt went in the back and Ryland struggled to fit in the front with him. He was holding a wet wash cloth and the house's first aid kit. 

He knew why Ryland was there then, but what about- "What do you want, Colt?"

"I'm- I'm so sorry, I heard about some friends that went driving with their brothers and did doughnuts in a field and it sounded really fun, and I thought it could be fun for us but now I see what a bad idea that was and I'm really, really, really sorry, Driver." Colt's voice started out strong but by the time he said Driver he was sobbing and his voice was wobbling like it did when he was six. "Can you- can you forgive me?"

Driver didn't respond immediately. He was pissed. And he was even more pissed that they were having this conversation now. He was about to snap at him when he remembered Courtland's disappointed stare and took a deep breath. "Maybe in a bit, Colt, I can't think right now." He paused, "And you know how I feel about lying to you guys."

"You love it?" Ryland quips quietly before gently applying the rag to Driver's back, which makes him hiss. 

Driver grins through the pain, "Only about unimportant things."

"Like when you lied about an extra shift at work and actually went on a date with that girl named Wendy in your class?"

Driver sat up on his elbows, trying to look Ryland in his eyes, "How'd you know about that?"

"We stalked you." Colt said from behind him and Driver huffed. 

The sun had fully disappeared behind the horizon when they finished patching Casey up. Courtland should almost be home at this point. Ryland slipped inside to go get ready for bed and it was just Colt and Driver for a moment. 

Colt opened the door to leave but paused when Driver started, "I forgive you, Colt. Just- don't ever do that again."

The irony of it all is that the first film they worked together on, that was one of the stunts Colt did. Doughnuts in an empty field.