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A senator stormed into the command center at approximately Mach 10. “Commander Fox!”
Fox slowly looked up from his caf, already exhausted by whatever this was about to become. “Yes?”
“You towed my speeder!”
Fox took another sip. Ah, that. “Yes.”
“You had no authority to do that!”
Fox glanced towards Commander Thire, who was resolutely ignoring Fox, obviously hoping he wouldn’t be dragged into this situation. Too bad for him; if Fox had to deal with this, so did he. “Did we tow his speeder.”
Thire sighed heavily and checked his datapad. “We did.”
“Damn.”
The senator blinked. “…Damn?”
Fox nodded solemnly. “That’s crazy.”
The senator gaped for a moment before regaining his senses. “I demand you return it immediately!”
Fox frowned slightly. “Why?”
“Because it belongs to a member of the Senate!”
Fox looked genuinely puzzled. “…Did that stop it from being illegally parked?”
A nearby shiny physically turned away to hide his laughter. The senator jabbed an angry finger toward him.
“I was parked there for less than five minutes!”
Fox checked the citation. “It says forty-seven.”
“That’s impossible!”
Fox shrugged. “Time flies when committing traffic violations.”
The senator came back three days later, because of course he did. The only difference this time was that he was angrier somehow, which was honestly impressive. He slammed a stack of paper down onto Fox’s desk. “This is outrageous!”
Fox looked up from his paperwork with the expression of a man being interrupted during a deeply personal battle against bureaucracy. “Yes.”
“You charged me storage fees.”
Fox glanced at the top paper, feigning to read it. “Hm. Looks like we did.”
“You towed my speeder illegally!”
Fox looked toward a nearby Guard trooper. “Did we tow his speeder illegally?”
The Corrie checked, and there was a long pause before he responded, “…No, Commander.”
Fox looked back at the senator. “Damn.”
The senator looked like he was rapidly approaching cardiac arrest. “You cannot keep saying ‘damn’ every time you violate Senate policy!”
Fox frowned slightly. He wasn’t even violating Senate policy. “Well why not?”
“Because you’re not supposed to be breaking the law in the first place!”
Fox considered this before vaguely gesturing at his datapad. “The speeder was parked in a military loading zone.”
“For FIVE MINUTES.”
“Fourty-seven, sir.” Fox corrected as he zoomed in on the citation image, showing the senator’s speeder sitting directly beneath a massive, bright red, sign reading: NO PARKING.
Fox stared at the image for a long moment. Then slowly looked back up. “…Are you kidding me?” A nearby shiny made a choking sound and had to leave the room immediately.
The senator jabbed a finger toward him. “I am a member of the Galactic Senate!”
Fox nodded. “I know.”
“Then show some respect!”
Fox thought about that. “I am, sir. All I am saying is that you couldn’t park there,” he said tiredly.
The senator looked physically stunned at Fox’s response. “You—you can’t just say that to a senator!”
Fox leaned back in his chair. “I can actually do most things, you see Senator?” He sounded completely sincere.
The senator sputtered furiously. “I ought to report you directly to the Chancellor!”
Fox was over this. He immediately grabbed another datapad. “Great idea.”
“What?”
Fox held the pad out helpfully. “I can submit the complaint form for you.”The senator stared suspiciously. Fox continued: “Processing time is currently four to six months.”A dangerous amount of laughter erupted from somewhere outside the office. Fox didn’t bat an eye at it.
“You think this is funny?!”
Fox looked confused. “…A little?”
The senator pointed accusingly. “This entire Guard unit is corrupt!”
Fox looked around the command center at the troopers working security feeds, filing reports, and monitoring emergency calls. Then he looked back at the senator.
“No sir,” Fox said calmly. “We’re clones.”A Corrie somewhere behind him audibly wheezed.
The senator snatched the datapad back violently. “You haven’t heard the last of this!”
Fox nodded. “That seems statistically likely.” Then, as the senator stormed away: “Oh—and Senator?”
The man whipped around furiously. “What?!”
Fox checked another screen. “…Your current parking spot is also illegal.”
The senator bolted for the door and Fox watched him go before calmly taking another sip of caf. A stunned shiny slowly approached the desk afterward. “Commander…”
“Yes.”
“…Was that allowed?”
Fox stared at him for a long moment then said, “Allowed and wise are different conversations, vod. That was neither.”A confused expression flitted across the shiny’s face before Fox continued, “That was hilarious.”