Chapter Text
SHANE'S POV
Shane wakes up for the 15th time that night drenched in cold sweat. This time it's his second alarm going off that wakes him up, normally by the time this alarm goes off he is already eating his scrambled egg whites with fruit and a protein smoothie. But today even though it is 7am, he doesn’t seem to be capable of getting out of bed. He has spent all night tossing and turning instead of resting as he should the night before a game. He knows he has to get out of bed, but he is so tired, and outside the covers it's freezing and uninviting. So he takes a few more minutes to rest his eyes as he mentally reviews what he needs to do today.
He has a packed day today: morning skate with the Metros at 8am, a meeting with the coaches right after and then a chance to go home and rest up before the afternoon game against the Bears. And after the game, the part he has waited 3 weeks for, he finally gets to meet up with Ilya. This is the only thing that right now is helping him get out of bed. So he forces himself out of bed and stumbles to the bathroom, where he takes a cold shower and brushes his teeth. He still feels terrible afterward, so he raids the medicine cabinet and takes an Advil, hoping for the best as he makes his way to his car.
He arrives at the locker room, his first instinct is to turn around and leave. He can't exactly say he is normally unbothered by the booming noise of his teammates and the bright lights of the room, but today is more than he can bear. But it is his duty as the captain of the Metros to step up for them, even when he doesn’t feel like it. So he pushes the door open and makes his way to his stall.
Someone near the entrance yells: “Look who finally showed up!”. Shane looks up to the clock: 7:59 am. He normally tries to be early to hit the gym before practice, so this is a little out of character for him, but he thought the guys on his team wouldn’t notice.
JJ makes his way over to Shane as he opens his bag, smirking: “Mon capitaine, you look like shit”
Hayden, who is at the stall next to his, looks up to Shane while lacing his skates. “Man, that’s true, are you alright?”
And Shane just shrugs, mumbling: “Yeah, just tired” as he continues to change into his gear as the rest of the team filters to the ice.
When Shane finally steps on the ice and joins the team, his gear feels ten times heavier than usual. He doesn’t think much of it, just assumes that the fatigue is taking its toll on him. He makes a mental note to take a nap before the game.
When practice is finally over, he goes straight to the showers and changes quickly, avoiding any interaction with his teammates, who seem extra loud today. The locker room is buzzing with excitement the same way it always does before a Boston game. He is about to make his exit, but Hayden stops him with a firm grip on his bag and inspects his face as if searching for answers “Shane, are you sure you are okay?” Hayden asks “You seem off. Are you feeling sick?”
Shane hates how easily Hayden reads him, but how can he get mad at his best friend when his face is so full of concern? So he tries his best to smile, trying to convince Hayden that he is just tired and just needs a good nap (and maybe another Advil since his head is killing him).
Shane doesn’t hear a single word during the meeting with the coaches, he just nods and prays that nobody notices that his mind is somewhere else entirely. So he thanks the universe when the meeting ends and makes his way home.
At home, for the first time in all day, opens his phone as he lays on the couch, and immediately clicks the chat open when he sees 8 unanswered texts from Ilya.
Lily: Good Morning Shanya!
Lily: My plane lands at 12pm and then team has ice time
Lily: Don’t worry I will stay with them, so you can do your boring pregame routine in peace
Lily: After the game we meet up directly at home, yes?
Lily: I’m so excited to see you moya lyubov’❤️
Lily: I hope you're ready to lose today
Lily: But don't be too sad, I have a plan to cheer you up later 😈
Shane can’t help the smile that creeps up as he answers the texts, he can’t wait to see Ilya. Three weeks isn’t that long for them compared to what they are used to, but after speeding the summer at the cottage and knowing what they could have; three weeks feel like a lifetime.
When Shane wakes up from his nap, he feels even worse than before. He is drenched in cold sweat, shivering and his whole body aches. And he doesn’t understand how it is possible but he feels even more exhausted than in the morning. He tries to make one of his pregame smoothies, but the thought of the blender makes his head throb, so he opts to drink one of the pre-made drinks from his pantry from a brand that sponsors him. He doesn’t really like the taste, but he knows playing a game on an empty stomach is worse than chugging the drink.
He weaves through the hallways of the rink leading to the locker room. He is almost there, he can already hear the music over the booming voices of his teammates. He is staring at the floor when he crashes into someone, who catches him by the shoulders. As he looks up, he sees Hayden staring back at him with a deeply concerned expression.
“Buddy you look even worse!” Hayden says “What’s going on?”
Shane is about to open his mouth, but Hayden reaches out and touches his forehead, the exact way he does for his own children, and opens his eyes widen. “Shane, you are burning up! You need to go see the doctor”. Shane protests but Hayden is already pushing him to the team doctor's office.
Shane takes a seat on the examination table, the doctor looms over him as Hayden is obsessing over Shane’s temperature. When the doctor checks the thermometer, Shane realizes that his symptoms might be from something more serious than he thought. The doctor mumbles something about fetching the Coach as he exits the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you had a fever?” Hayden says softly “You can’t be feeling good right now”
Shane replies “I didn’t know it was a fever Hayd, I mean I’m not feeling great but it is my duty as the captain to be here for the team. Especially today. You know how it is when we play Boston”
“I know man” Hayden says concerned “But you have to take care of yourself first. And you have to let me take care of you too. You are my best friend Shane…I want you to know you can count on me”
But Shane can’t seem to come to his senses “I know I can Hayd, I really do. Do you think I can still play the game tonight?”
Hayden is starting to get irritated when he says “Well I’m no doctor, but I think 39°C is pretty high. I don't think you should play bud”
Shane is about to answer when Coach Theriault storms into the room with the doctor at his heels. He speaks too loudly and Shane’s head throb “Hollander, tell the doctor you feel good enough to play. You know we need you today”
Shane knows he probably is in no shape to be playing a whole game if the team doctor needs convincing, but as the Coach said, the team needs him. And really doesn’t wanna get on Theriault’s bad side. Moreover, he genuinely enjoys the games against Boston for selfish reasons, so he really doesn’t want to sit this on out. So he says: “Yeah, Coach is right. I need to play today”
Coach says: “Good, the matter is settled then. Doc, just give him something so he can play”
The Doctor looks at Shane intently as if he is waiting for him to reconsider. But Shane just looks at his hands folder in his lap and nods. He can’t bring himself to disagree with his coach. Coach Theriault, satisfied with Shane's reaction, claps his shoulder and leaves the office.
Hayden immediately snaps “Shane, you can’t do that. You are sick, you should be resting”
“I will be fine, Hayd, don’t worry about it!” Shane replies
Hayden exhales loudly and rolls his eyes as the Doctor is preparing the cocktail of drugs to inject into Shane.
By the time Shane is warming up in the ice, he feels much better. The drugs must be licking in. He still feels cold and lightheaded, but when he sees Ilya across the ice, he forgets for a moment about his aching body. He makes his way to Ilya who is already stretching in the red line.
Ilya: “Hollander”
Shane: “Rozanov”
Ilya’s eyes trace Shane’s face, clearly noticing something. Shane thinks his raspy voice might have given him away, because Ilya asks: “Are you okay?”
Shane immediately says: “Of course”. But Ilya doesn’t look convinced, so Shane looks at his feet and decides to glide away toward where JJ is shooting pucks.
The first period of the game goes well. Shane isn’t playing to his standard, but the Metros are winning by one and Shane still feels okay. But as the game progresses, the chills return, and his body grows heavier and heavier. Shane feels like he is burning hot but covered in cold sweat underneath all his heavy gear. And he can’t even look at Ilya because he knows he will see right through him.
During the intermission, thanks to Hayden's insistence, Shane tries to tell Theriault he is not feeling well, but he quickly dismisses him telling Shane he needs to “Man up for the team”. This makes Shane feel really guilty for not being able to do what is required of him. So, he does what he is told and skates out for the face-off.
As he approaches Ilya, he tries to act normal, standing a little straighter. But Ilya immediately states: “You are sick”. It isn’t even a question, just a flat statement.
Shane opens his eyes a little more and says “M’ fine”
Ilya didn't fall for the lie “Did the doctor check you? You shouldn't be playing Shane”
Shane just stares at his skates. He knows Ilya is right, he feels like he is about to collapse and probably shouldn’t be playing, but what can he do when his coach told him he has to play?
So when the puck drops, Ilya wins the face off.
At the end of the second period, Marleau checks Shane into the boards. The check isn’t even that hard, but Shane crumbles into the ice. His body seems too heavy for him, he doesn’t have the strength to get up. He looks up and sees JJ punching Marleau as Hayden skates to his side and helps him toward the bench. He catches Ilya looking at him, worry written all over his face, and it kills Shane to be the cause for Ilya suffering.
After that, Coach looks at Shane disappointed, shaking his head as he sends him to the doctor's office. Theriault tells him he is benched for the rest of the game, so he might as well go home. The doctor checks him over again, and then prescribes medication and rest to lower the fever. Instructing that if it rises further, to call him or go to the emergency room.
Shane strips off his gear and skips the shower and calls a car to take him home. He knows he shouldn't be driving when he feels so lightheaded.
When he opens the door, drops his bag and collapses onto the couch. He must have passed out but he vaguely remembers the faint buzzing of his phone under his body. He wakes up to the sound of the door. Ilya steps inside, closing the door behind him and drops his bag next to Shane’s. Ilya makes a beeline for him.
Ilya whispers “Solnyshko” taking Shane’s face into his hands. Shane opens his eyes and smiles at the sight of Ilya.
Ilya states “You are so hot Shane”
Shane smiles blushing a little, even after all those years together he still can’t comprehend how Ilya finds him attractive. He replies “Not as hot as you”
Ilya looks at Shane confused, and then states with more urgency “Shane, your head is hot. Like, sick hot”
And now it’s Shane’s turn to look embarrassed “Oh, yeah I think I have a fever”
Ilya wordlessly disappears into the hallway, and Shane instantly mourns the loss of his presence. When Ilya returns, he has a thermometer in his hand and he takes Shane’s temperature.
Ilya exclaims “39,5°C! Shane, you have a high fever! How did they let you play like this!!”
Shane doesn’t know what to say. It’s true that Coach didn’t give him much of a choice on whether to play or rest, but Shane was the one who agreed to it. The guilt creeps back in. Ilya must have sensed it because his hands move to cup Shane’s face and give him a gentle kiss on the forehead.
“Hey, it’s okay Shanya” Ilya soys softly "I take care of you now”. And a tear escaped Shane’s eye.
Ilya moves through Shane’s house like his own, making Shane’s stomach flip with emotion. They are finally together for real, something he couldn't even fathom a few months ago. Ilya approaches the coach again with a glass of water and a couple pills from the medicine cabinet. Ilya says “Come on, sit up a bit. Take these”, and helps Shane with the glass of water.
The pills haven’t even hit his stomach yet, but Shane already feels a lot better, just from having Ilya there. He says “Thanks Ilya, I’m sorry”
Ilya replies with a smirk: “No need to be sorry Shane. This is what boyfriends are for, yes?”
Shane smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes “We see each other so little, and I know you had plans for tonight–”
Ilya interrupts him saying “Hey it’s okay, Shane. Taking care of you is my plan. Always”. And this time Shane’s smile is genuine.
Ilya insists that Shane needs a shower, but thinking better, he proposes a bath instead. Shane is incredibly relieved because he doesn’t feel capable of standing for more than a minute. Ilya sits outside the tub bathing Shane with all the care and love in the world Afterward, he dries him and dresses him in a pair of Shane’s softest pyjamas, which he had discreetly tossed into the dryer earlier so now they are warm.
When Ilya tucks Shane into bed and starts to head back toward the kitchen, Shane catches his arm and says “Stay, please”. And Ilya can’t help but to comply, he really is powerless when he looks at him with those sad brown eyes. So, they cuddle in bed until Shane falls fast asleep.