Chapter Text
Dornman port- a hotspot for developing, ahead-of-their-time culture phenomena and an incredibly important point in the chain of trade. One could say it was one of the only things that allowed the severely underdeveloped remainder of the alcoholic-run country to continue to exist and not become another part of Snezhnaya.
Of course, such relationships and realities were unimportant to Lohen, who was currently hiding in an alleyway with a stolen apple and trying not to breathe too loud so he could avoid alerting the angry shopkeeper who previously owned said apple.
”Child! Are you so incompetent as to think an alleyway is sufficient enough to hide your existence!? They will find you immediately!” The god remains that sat inside Lohen’s small, already severely damaged stomach by the name of “Gilgamesh” yelled into his brain, anger only fueling Lohen’s own anxiety.
”Shut up Gil!” Lohen angry-whispers out loud, something that was a habit of his after formerly spending much of his life in a hospital and passing the time conversing with Gilgamesh out loud. It was the only thing that kept him sane, if one was being honest.
The two knights that were unfortunately forced to chase him around yelled something around the corner, obviously not wanting to chase around poor children who were stealing to survive. It sadly wasn’t an uncommon reality- the only place it was uncommon was Sumeru, and they had different problems.
Again, such politics didn’t matter to Lohen, as he instead held his breath, not wanting to bring any trouble to himself. It was a good 5 minutes before he risked opening his mouth to take a small bite of the apple. As the first thing he had eaten in some 2 days, it was incredible. Much better than the crunchy, sandy gruel he had been eating for the past 8 years of his life.
Lohen leaned in to take another bite, but Gilgamesh screamed into his head.
”DO NOT DARE- Don’t you have ANY semblance of self-respect!? You must save food! Eat it all now and it will surely go to waste.” Lohen wanted to cry tears of frustration- it was so good, and this pathetic lizard-like waste of space wanted him to CONTINUE PRACTICALLY DYING OF HUNGER?! SERIOUSLY!?
”Fuck you!” Realizing that such an outburst would put him back in that room cause trouble, he curled back into himself metaphorically, apologizing to the dead god. “I-I’m so hungry, it hurts, Gil. P-please.” The god goes silent, so Lohen takes another, larger bite of the fruit.
It’s sweet, and juicy. He hadn’t had any water today- drinking out of peoples buckets wasn’t something he could do all the time. The moisture was beautiful on his tongue (something he was surprised he still had after all these years living in that place) and Lohen praised the archons for something so beautiful coming into existence.
“Ahem.” Lohen jumps, flinching horribly and almost dropping his fruit. He scoots away from the source of the sound, eyes wide and fearful. Behind him sat a knight with darker skin and blue hair reminiscent of the ocean’s darkest depths. A simple black eyepatch covered one eye, and the other had a strange star pupil that would captivate anyone.
Lohen opened his mouth to yell at the knight, before realizing that was a horrible idea for all too many reasons and instead stood in a defensive posture, not unlike a fearful cat. He looked more like a dirty hare though, with his long, uncut hair and deep red, lightless eyes. The knight leans back, an apologetic smile gracing his lips.
”Woah, easy there! I didn’t mean to scare you. Oh, nice apple you got there- sorry for getting in the middle of that.” Lohen clutched the apple closer to his chest. Attacking people was an awful idea, but he didn’t want to eat his skin again. He was still missing chunks of flesh in his forearms that flimsy, fragile scar tissue barely covered, even now, 3 years later.
”Who are you. Answer now.” The knight chuckles.
”My name’s Kaeya Ragnvi— Alberich. Kaeya Alberich.” He grins kindly, radiating a warmth that Lohen couldn’t decipher. Archons know how sincere it was. “I’m…guessing you didn’t pay for that apple.”
Lohen stiffens, which doesn’t go unnoticed by this mysterious Kaeya person.
”Hey, I’m not here to shake money from a kid. You stealing it probably means you don’t have the money to buy it, right?” At Lohen’s silence, the bluenette sighs, not dropping his smile, before perking up again. “Right. Uh…oh! How about we chat over some pancakes? I was just going to get some breakfast over at the diner.”
Lohen tilts his head a bit, before Gilgamesh yells into his brain, nonexistent voice sending intolerable vibrations through the winding pathways of his frontal lobe.
”THIS IS A KNIGHT! Who’s to say he won’t turn you in!? And what if he returns you to that place!?”
“Shut up, Gil-“ Lohen bites back his voice, but luckily the knight just conveniently doesn’t hear him. He can’t decide what to do- on one hand he’s so hungry, and food is food. Anything is better than raw chunks of his own flesh. But on the other…
“NO, NO, NO! LET ME GO! I’M SORRY, I’M SO SORRY, LET ME GO PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE—“
Kaeya sees his hesitation and stands up.
”Alright, I’m going to go and get some food. You can follow me if you want, and I’ll buy you some food. All on me, don’t worry. If you don’t, no problemo. I won’t sell you out. We need more resources for kids like you anyways.” The last part is mostly said to himself, as he walks off, not waiting for Lohen to decide.
Fully exposing his back and trusting Lohen to not hurt him.
For Lohen, that was what allowed him to trust the knight, even as Gilgamesh made things about 100 times more difficult to think through. Someone trusting a worthless dirty urchin kid with no future like him? Someone like that was either stupid or genuine. Genuinely stupid, if you must.
So he slinked through the streets, following Kaeya from the shadows. At the door of the diner, Kaeya held it open for him, something that surprised Lohen. Perhaps he knew the kid was following him. The kid was too hungry to think about such things, and the sweet smell of pastries he hadn’t had since he was barely above toddler age clouded his judgement.
They sat at a table in the back, half hidden in the shadows but not so hidden as to look suspicious. Kaeya leans into the cushioned booth, sighing happily and opening up one of the paper menus on the table.
“Say, the pancakes here are to die for. Probably the one thing on the menu that Good Hunter doesn’t have. Ah, I kind of miss that place, but its— uhh.” Kaeya trails off with his rambling. Lohen doesn’t notice, focusing on trying to take in all of his surroundings.
The peace is quickly broken as fast as it was made, as the other two knights from earlier notice Kaeya and the nasty ass kid they were looking for are sitting at a diner table.
”Kaeya! Dude! What the hell are you doing!?” Kaeya looks up and smiles at his colleagues.
”I’m getting breakfast. :D” The other knight, one with jet black hair and possibly the ugliest face known to man, sighs annoyedly.
”No, with the kid. Like…” He trails off, before sighing again. Dude must’ve had a lot of extra air he apparently didn’t need in his lungs. Lohen would kill for that air- they used to take it out of his lungs to see if Gilgamesh would do anything. Most of the time he wouldn’t. “Nevermind. Just…are you going to pay that old dick back?” Kaeya nods.
”I’ll handle it. Just go back to your posts. No one will throw a fit, but it they do, I’ll handle it, kk?” The two knights look at each other before nodding, saying some semblance of a goodbye to the bluenette and leaving. They don’t spare Lohen a glance. Kaeya sighs. “Real nice guys, eh?”
Lohen doesn’t answer, unsure of what to say at first. But before Kaeya can fill the silence with another comment of something, he speaks up.
”Why are you…doing this?” Kaeya blinks, before shrugging. A waitress brings over some ice water, which he takes a sip of happily. Lohen hesitates, before doing the same, gladly gulping down half of the cup in one go.
”I mean, I don’t get much out of it other than helping my moral standards a bit. I get to help someone else, and it makes me feel better about myself. Not really a big part of it though.” Kaeya smiles, though Lohen can tell there’s much unsaid. Something must’ve happened to the knight that absolutely destroyed his sense of self.
Lohen remembered kids who thought they had a chance to survive, live and see another day, only to be horribly mutilated in an experiment gone slightly wrong. He’d seen 8 year olds torn apart limb from limb, their flesh stretching like melted cheese and thrown against walls only to slide down, leaving a gross trail of blood in their wake.
He shuddered at the memory. Suddenly the apple sounded much more palatable than a plate of pancakes. But the knight was being nice, and kindness was something he hadn’t seen in…in forever.
“You good, kid?” Lohen looks up. Kaeya gives him a small smile, and he suddenly realizes how quietly the knight has been talking the whole time, so he doesn’t scare the kid.
”…Yes.”
“Cool beans.” Kaeya’s smile widens, glad that there’s some more trust from the kid. “Say, I don’t think I caught your name. And no pressure of course, but I’d love to have something else to call you.”
Gilgamesh, of course, screams at this. He’s obsessed with the idea of names being sacred and having the ability to control people’s fates and stuff. Lohen doesn’t give a shit, and as if exercising his newly found limbs of freedom, decides to tell Kaeya.
”Lohen.” The bluenette blinks, not expecting his words to have any effect, before grinning.
”Lovely. Also, do pancakes sound good to you? Like, for food? I recommend them, but it's a matter of taste and having someone you barely know decide things for you sucks balls.” Lohen nods. The waitress comes back, and they order. Or Kaeya orders, while Lohen says nothing and stares at the table and finishes his apple. He felt eyes staring at him, and he didn’t want anyone attacking him for his food- he and the other kids would fight all the time, and while he thought he escaped that reality, some things can never truly be avoided.
They’re both quiet for a few minutes, mostly because Kaeya was allowing Lohen time to finish his stolen fruit. Lohen had nothing wrong with that.
”Say, while I know it's not my place to ask, and by all means you have no need to answer, but I’d love to help you. And I can’t say I’m able to fully do so when I don’t know the full story. Or any story.” Kaeya taps his fingers on the table, leaning back into the booth. Lohen hesitates. This was a stranger, and a knight, and who knows what telling him would do.
…
He didn’t have anything to hide though- he barely had a reason to stay alive. Why he wasn’t dead was beyond him.
Lohen decides nothing can be worse than what he’s already been through.
”Child, make better judgement on this. You are weak. Puny. You will die in battle, and as I have long lost dominion over the art of battle, you-“
Lohen shuts Gilgamesh up by starting to talk.
”I’m from the sanatorium.” Kaeya freezes, and goes very stiff.
About a month ago, perhaps a little less, the old hospital on the hill had been overrun by the Knights of Favonius once word of the heinous crimes being committed there got out. Lohen had heard people talking about what had been done there after he had barely escaped by the skin of his teeth.
“They executed all of those nasty doctors.”
”Good. No child should have to suffer.”
”I heard they turned them into monsters, that of which has never been seen before. They make the wild hunt seem like pretty little child’s dolls.”
”I heard they rip children apart and force dead gods into their bones.”
”I heard they raped all the children.”
Rumor after rumor had spread.
About 90% of what you could say about that place would by default be true- it was a nightmare in and of itself. Lohen had heard that one of the knights had attempted to kill themself in the middle of disposing of countless bodies of young dismembered children. The doctors eventually got too lazy to do it themselves, so they were rotting out back.
”You’re…” Kaeya blinks, unsure of what to say or do. The child sitting in front of him had suffered through unimaginable amounts of horrible shit. A war veteran’s trauma must look like a playground injury to what he’s seen.
”It doesn’t matter anymore. The doctors are dead.” Kaeya snaps back to the present when Lohen speaks, and quickly shakes his head.
”Kid, it does matter. I haven’t read the official reports or documents about what happened and what was found, but it…you’ve been through some shit. Some horrible, horrible shit. That’s not something to just brush off.” Lohen shrugs, but his eyes narrow slightly.
”What will thinking about it do?” The knight sighs.
”I…” He hesitates, very briefly, before continuing. If this child with obvious trust issues could talk about his issues (somewhat), then so could he. “I just went through a horrible falling out with my brother. Uh…ex-brother, I guess. He doesn’t want to talk to me, and he hurt me really bad. But…” Kaeya looks down. “If I don’t talk about what I’ve gone through, I guess I can never heal, can I?”
Lohen doesn’t answer, setting his apple core down on the table, close to the wall so its out of the way. It tasted so good, and the hunger was eating away at the walls of his stomach.
“…I guess.” The waitress comes back with their pancakes, which lifts the mood somewhat. The kids eyes shine as a beautiful brown pastry sits in front of him, smelling like the beauty of Celestia itself. Kaeya smiles, and reaches over to put some butter and syrup on it. Lohen, while weary of someone touching his food, decides to trust the knight and saws away a tiny piece with his fork.
Eating such a thing made it feel like all the pain and hurt was just a bad dream. Like nothing had ever happened. Like the hands on his body and the needles in his spine and the tumors and growths and goo and pain and everything else was gone.
Suddenly, a memory came to him, foggy and unclear.
He sits at a table, though its hard for him to see over the edge because he’s so small. A woman (a mother?) sits next to him, smiling and lauging as a man’s voice (a father?) carries through, joining in and making jokes.
The same scent of pancakes and love and sweetness floated through the air. He felt… excited and happy. Smiling and giggling. He was just a little kid and everything was alright.
He didn’t have any illness, and they weren’t about to send him off to a hospital to hope that their little boy could be cured by some miracle.
He wasn’t about to suffer some side hustle that would kill a total of 59 children and permanently injure 70 more.
He—
“—Lohen? You ok?” The kid looks up, and sees Kaeya giving him a worried look. Lohen realizes he’s crying, and quickly goes to wipe his face. Gilgamesh says something about him being weak and pathetic, but Lohen ignores him for the sake of not crying more.
“I…I-I’m fine.” The knight sighs, taking a bite of his own pancake.
“Just goes to show how amazing these things are, eh?” Lohen forces a half-hearted nod. Kaeya notices his discomfort, but decides not to comment.
”…Kaeya?” The knight looks up, instantly attentive.
”Yeah?”
”Thank you. F-for uh…the pancakes.” Lohen looks away, both upset and incredibly happy. Kaeya laughs softly.
“Of course, kiddo.” They both continue eating for a bit, with Kaeya urging Lohen to eat slowly as to avoid upsetting his stomach. The air clears, and the tension lessons to a simmer thanks to the comfortable silence. After settling the bill, Kaeya leads Lohen to apologize to the shopkeepers he had stolen from, and pays for the losses in fruit.
After finishing with the last grumpy old hoe, Kaeya and Lohen walk down the street towards the harbor.
”Hey, Lohen. Out of curiosity, where are you staying now?” Lohen visibly deflates at the question, looking down at the cracked pavement beneath him. Gilgamesh squirms in his stomach in protest, desperate to try and force Lohen to hold control over some part of his life. This, of course, does not have any effect on what he says.
”Whereever I can find shelter, I guess. Mostly alleys and by the port.” Kaeya gives him a sad look, but offers no unnecessary comfort. Instead, he comes up with a possibly horribly stupid idea.
“Would you like to stay with me for a while?” Lohen looks up and gives him a guarded look.
”What?”
”I’m currently staying in a hotel, since I was posted here by the grandmaster to…let things cool down back at the capital. There’s an extra bed in my room, and I have no use for it. It would probably be nice for you to sleep somewhere comfortable too. It’s just an offer, but its open, with no strings attached.”
”No one offers something like that without wanting something in return- you already bought me food. Seriously, what do you want?” I’m not selling my body anymore. I can’t go back to that life. Lohen’s eyes narrow, and he stops walking. Kaeya stops too, and he just smiles at Lohen. It’s genuine and kind, nothing like how the doctors would smile.
”I’ve been in a position like yours before. I don’t want anyone else to go through what…I want to help. And while I can leave you to your situation if you want that to be the case, it…I’m sure it's not ideal.” They both stand there, Kaeya desperately hoping Lohen will accept and Lohen trying to scope out any hidden strings and weighing the costs.
It’s an unbearably long time before the 12 year old sighs lightly, clutching onto his heavily scarred arms.
”Fine.” Kaeya grins, face lighting up instantly.
”Awesome! Wanna head there now?” Lohen hesitates, before nodding, deciding that he had already said too much that day. Kaeya starts walking, not waiting for Lohen to follow.
“I can only hope that you are sure of yourself, child, and that such a decision will not be your downfall.” Lohen told Gilgamesh to shut up after his breath. This was his life, and he…for some reason, he wanted to live. So he chased after Kaeya, deciding to see where this whole situation would take him.