Chapter Text
I closed my eyes on Erid for the last time, The comforting weight of Rocky and Adrian’s hands (though through xenonite, of course). And, of course, I cry. Leaky space blob that I am. I try to smile, but it feels more like a grimace. Rocky sings comforting words to me as I slip into blackness.
A sudden flash of memory overtakes my senses; this must be the ‘life flashing before your eyes before you die’ thing. It’s a pleasant memory, I’m sitting at my desk on Stratt’s Vat, puzzling over a microscope. What a time that was. How I wish I could be back there again, doing as much science as I wanted (bar the meetings Stratt dragged me along to.). I feel a sudden pull in my chest, like someone has tied a string around my heart and is pulling it as hard as they can. Weird. The pull grows stronger, and I attempt to say ‘Ow’ but obviously I can’t speak. Younger me looks up with a frown. Directly where I am standing (floating? How does incorporealness even work?) He looks back at the microscope. Weird coincidence but ok. I try again, the point of science is to test something over and over again, right? I try a ‘hello?’ this time. He looks up again, a weird look on his (my?) face, like he’s trying to figure something out. Well, so am I pal. I try one more time, another ‘hello.’ But firmer, less of a questioning tone. He looks up even faster this time, excitement and possibly something like fear crosses his face. The string pulls, hard. I scream, I feel like I’m being ripped apart. Like the space between dimensions is cracking in two. I hear a voice that sounds eerily like my own, asking if I’m ok, then I black out.
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When I wake up, I hear a loud beeping noise. I try to open my eyes but ultimately fail. Oh God. Am I back on Mary? I hope not. Is Rocky alright? I know he likes to watch me sleep and I can’t hear any of his good morning notes. I have to get out- My wrists are restrained. The last time that happened was when Stratt drugged me- Oh God. I’m back, aren’t I? Erid was just a dream and now I’m stuck on this Fudging ship again! The beeping gets louder and faster, I don’t remember Armando having a heart monitor? Suddenly there's a soft pressure on my hand, why is Rocky out of his suit? Then I register the softness, completely different from Rocky's outer shell. This is when I finally open my eyes.
Standing by my side is Eva Stratt. I barely keep the whimper of fear from escaping my lips. It’s her, world dictator Eva Stratt. And she’s stroking my hand. I flinch away from her, and she looks at me, into the depths of my soul. I thought I’d gotten over it, in my years of space travel and short-but-sweet life on Erid. Apparently seeing her face again brought back that wave of fear. I blink vision of syringes and dirt under my fingernails, gripping the ground for dear life. I can’t bring myself to look at her, so I gaze around the room, there's Ilyukina, Yao, Dimitri, Dubois, Shapiro, and Carl. I almost cry at the sight of them, I’d always imagined them older, more mature, going about their daily lives on Earth, I’d never thought I would see them young again, before the loss of Dubois and Shapiro, before heavy bags of sleeplessness hung below their eyes. It’s then that I notice myself. Or, a younger version, anyway. He stares at me with a mixture of scientific curiosity and fear. Fair enough, I’d react the same way if my older doppelganger turned up.
I suddenly become aware of someone trying to speak to me. It’s been so long since I heard another human besides myself, a small tear runs down my cheek and soaks into the pristine white bedsheets.
“Who are you?” The question lingers in the air, charged with a static energy. It takes me a moment to register who spoke.
“Who are you?” Ilyukina says again, and I tell her.
“[I am Grace-Saviour-of-stars. Statement.]” They all look at me in confusion, and my eyes widen. Right, time to try speaking English again, Grace. I try again, this time trying to formulate the words properly.
“I. Am. Grace-Sav- statement.” I stop myself before I repeat the whole Eridian honour name. They wouldn’t understand anyway. Shoot, I still said Statement, didn’t I? Ugh. Other me pipes up.
“But my name’s Grace?” He walks a little closer and it's his turn to look shocked “why do you look like me?!” I try to answer him, but all that comes out is this:
“Grace... [We are both Grace, I am an older version of you, I’m not sure how I got here-]” I cut myself off yet again, I keep forgetting they can’t speak Eridian. (I’m pretty sure the Eridian’s gave me extra voice boxes or something, so I can pronounce the words properly without needing the keyboard, it gives a weird, layered effect when I’m speaking English, though. from what I remember. I wasn’t really present at the time, though.) They look at me in yet more confusion. I try again. I’m gonna communicate again, dam it! “Grace. I. Am. Old. Not. Sure...” I pause again, piecing the sounds of the letters into words. “How. Got. Here. Sorry. English. Bad.”
“Why is there a big fleshy lump attached to your throat and chest?” It’s Yao this time. I forgot the other voice boxes are on the outside.
“Uh. Extra. Voice. For speak.” way to go, Grace, two words without a pause! You’re doing so great at speaking English! Here’s a sticker! I see the realisation dawn on their faces, the weird sounds coming from this random-old-guy was a language. Then the realisation becomes curiosity. Oh boy, there’s gonna be a lot of questions now!