Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Suho waited until her boyfriend, soon to be ex, returned home to their shared apartment. Her bags, slumped by the door, put together haphazardly, ready to make her escape— of course, not before she would slap him cleanly across the face. She stood by the entry way, her back pressed against the wall, left bare with empty hooks. Photo frames, filled with memories which once brought a smile to her face, now were scattered across the floor. One particular picture took a worse beating than the others, ripped to shreds, by her foot. Glass crunched beneath her shoes. It was of her and Wooyoung, on their first date at Naksan Park.

Suho’s shoulders perked up at the sound of the code being punctured into the keypad beyond the door. Anticipation jittered along her limbs, her hands balled into fists beside her — though it did little to quell the tremor. The door pushed open revealing a far too smiley, and annoyingly oblivious man. At least have the decency to act nervous. Suho bit the side of her cheek. 

“Hey ba—” Wooyoung never managed to finish his greeting, Suho was across the space in two large steps, before her hand slammed down against his cheek. 

“Fuck you!” Suho punched her fists against his chest, pushing him back out the threshold. Her voice echoed against the walls in the hallway, uncaring of which prying neighbours could be listening. She didn’t let her tears fall, not yet anyways. She remained steadfast in her anger, which kept growing with every second his face grew more and more confused. 

How dare he act confused? How dare he act as if he were the victim? How dare he make me feel like I’m crazy?  

Wooyoung intercepted Suho’s fist. “Baby, what the fuck has gotten into you?” he asked, eyes wide, but his voice still infuriatingly level. 

“Don’t you dare call me baby,” Suho seethed, ripping her hands out of Wooyoung’s grasp. “Matter of fact, don’t call me anything anymore. I never want to see your fucking face ever again.” Suho leaned down, picking up her bags and barged past the unrecognisable man at her door. 

“Suho.” Wooyoung reached out to her, placing his hand on her wrist, her stomach flipped. Where his touch once felt like a kaleidoscope of butterflies, had now dissolved into acid. It burned away the comfort and left a wake of bile, rising with quick succession up her chest and into her throat. She couldn’t get the image of his hands tracing the ridges and imperfections of another woman — the same way he had with her — out of her mind. They replayed torturously, the images flashing behind her eyes. 

“Help me understand,” Wooyoung pleaded. His voice trembled, fueling the fire settling in the cavern were her heart had been hours before hand. 

“You’re shameless,” Suho scoffed, dropping the bags at her feet, the sound bouncing against the walls at the entryway of their — the — apartment.

“You’ll really keep lying to my face, even now?” Suho stepped before him, craning her neck, just a little. She narrowed her eyes, searching Wooyoung’s face for any flicker of remorse: a crease in his brow, a scintillation of recognition in his brown eyes — she would have settled even for a quiver on his lips. But all she was met with was his stubborn determination. He remained impassively calm, as Suho's eyes pleaded to find something redeemable. But then, he tried to reach for her again, his voice soaked in his fake sincerity and worst of all: confusion.  

Suho said, after the beat stretched out into a deafening silence between them, “we’re done.”

Suho stepped out of the apartment building, wind rushing against her face, droplets of rain fell around her. In her favourite films, she always found it cliche, the way a main character would stand beneath the rain and look up toward the sky — as though divine intervention would save them from their heart ache — but Suho found herself doing exactly that. Bag in hands, something between a laugh and a sob gargled out of her. She looked up at the dark sky, the faint drizzle highlighted through the orange streetlights, and waited for the rain to wash away the pain. Tears finally escaped from where she had been holding them back, and as though a damn bursting, so did the rest of her restraint. With a shaking hand, she dialed her brothers number, her fingers slipping over the screen as it collected more rain water. 

“Suho?” came a groggy voice, “you okay?” 

Unable to contain the shake in her voice, Suho sobbed into the mic. There was rustling in the background before her brothers voice struck through the speaker.

“What happened? Where are you? I’m coming to get you, are you in a safe area?” her brother rushed out, audibly more awake than what he’d been twenty seconds prior. 

“Tak-ah,” Suho sobbed, her shoulders shook. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he said. 

Muffled in the background she could hear another voice, “is everything okay, baby?”

“Baku can you go start up the car, we’re going to go pick up my sister.” Baku offered a quiet “of course.” Gotak turned back to the phone, voice sounding louder. “Suho, where are you?” 

She drew in a breath. “M—my flat.” 

“Okay, where is Wooyoung? Have you contacted him as wel—” 

Another cry ripped out of her lungs, she tried to heave in a breath but the air wouldn’t reach her lungs. 

“That fucking ass hole. Stay where you are, we won’t be long.” 

“Thank you,” she managed to get out, though did an awful job at suppressing the shake in her voice. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” Was the last thing Suho heard before the line went dead. 

Some time around twenty minutes later, a car pulled into the front of the building. The rain hadn’t let up, rather it had built into a downpour; as her brother’s car approached, the headlights refracted against the rain and shone brightly against the road. Suho curled her shoulders inward. She had nothing to be ashamed about, she knew this of course, but she couldn’t dispel the humiliation weighing heavily on her.

Both Baku and Gotak came running out of the car, straight toward her. Gotak wrapped his arms around her, bringing her into a hug which seemed to calm the shake in her body. Suho reciprocated, opening her arms and let her self be pulled in tighter. From behind, Baku sandwiched her in. 

Gotak was the first to pull away, “Baku, take my sister to the car. I’ll be right behind you.” He made toward the entrance of the building. 

“Come on, Suho.” Baku placed a hand across her shoulder blades, ushering her to the car. He shrugged off his jacket placing it above her head. Suho inclined her head toward him, offering a weak smile. 

The car door shut with a soft click, Baku reached for the roof, flicking the light on and handed Suho a bottle of water and a blanket. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” He turned his head toward her, evidenced in the reflection of the window she found herself staring out of. 

“We broke up,” she said the words into the heel of her palm.

Baku laughed, not unkindly, it was more like a quiet soft sound which seemed to say, I gathered that. 

Suho sucked in a breath, dropping her hands to her lap. “I found out he cheated on me.”

She bowed her head, fixing her eyes on her lap where her fingers twined and untwined themselves. A rattle ran through her, “a friend of mine sent me a video of him. He was in a club with his hands all over some other girl.” She bit her quivering lip, fresh tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. 

“I feel so stupid.” 

“Suho, don’t give him that much credit. Don’t let him be the reason you reduce yourself with words which couldn’t be further than the truth.” Suho’s vision turned into a blur. “Be upset, be angry" Baku tapped his index finger against the steering wheel. "Hell, come with me to the gym and have a few rounds on the punching bag, we miss you there, you know?" Suho could feel his eyes on her, but she refused to meet them, sinking her head lower into a bow. "You’re allowed to break, but I won’t allow you to feel shame which doesn’t belong to you. That’s for him to bare, and him alone.” 

Suho finally lifted her eyes to her friend who was already looking straight at her, she smiled weakly. “Thank you, Baku.” She sniffed, coughing a little on her spit, unable to breath through her nose. 

Baku let out a small chuckle, handing her a tissue, which she took with out hesitation. He looked over toward the building. “Should we be worried that Gotak might have genuinely murdered Wooyoung?” 

“Probably.” Suho blew into the tissue again. “Dude had zero hesitation, it could have been me in the wrong.” 

Baku snapped his head to her. “Your brother knows better, first of all. Second of all, he’s never liked Wooyoung, he’s been waiting for this.” 

Suho snorted out a laugh, “yeah, you’re right.” 

“Oh, look here he comes,” Baku pointed out, already starting the car. Warmth flooded out of the radiators; Suho distracted herself with drawing small shapes on the widows as they clouded with condensation. The back door slammed open, admitting a seething Gotak, as he stepped inside. For a couple of seconds, the car was quiet, save for the gentle hum of the engine, Baku craned his neck looking back at Gotak, Suho did the same. There was already purple swelling forming along the knuckles of her brother’s fists. Gotak, seemingly unaware of his two person audience, clicked his seatbelt into place and leaned back on his seat, his head thumping softly against the headrest. Finally, he noticed Suho and Baku staring at him. 

“What? Why are you staring? Babe, drive.” He rolled his eyes, before they landed on Suho who was still looking at him — a little bewildered. 

Gotak smiled. “When I got there, Wooyoung already had a bright red hand print across his cheek. You, I assume?” 

Suho nodded. 

“You went easy on him.” Her brother's brows creased into a frown, folding his arms over his chest.

Suho clicked her tongue, glancing down at her manicured nails. “I spent a good deal of money, I won't ruin the work Yeongi created."

“He didn’t even pay for them?” Baku asked, eyes still facing the road but Suho didn’t miss the way his fists tightened on the steering wheel. “What a twat.” 

“No, said it's Yeongi and that she should do them for free because we're friends.” Suho cried, overwhelmed by the new wave of emotions crashing over her. They were a set of acrylics which Yeongi had done for her, a sleek black design, with silver three dimensional patterns — each finger with a different design. “In hindsight, that should have been my first red flag.” 

“Baku I have half a mind to ask you to turn this car around and take me back there, I don’t think I got enough punches in,” Gotak said, it earned a small smile from Suho. “Stick to dating women from now on, I’m begging you. Men can’t be trusted.” 

The ride back to Gotak and Baku's house fell into a comfortable quiet. Suho tucked herself into the blanket, Baku had previously offered her. It was covered in little basketballs embroidered against a dark blue background. Her eyelids gave way to the weight of her exhaustion, finally closing and letting herself be engulfed by the warmth of the car and the patter of the rain against the window. 

“Hey.” Baku’s hand gently shook her awake. “We’re here.” Suho blinked her eyes open, still heavy with sleep, her blurry vision slowly focusing on the streetlights surrounding the tall apartment building to Baku’s and Gotak’s home. Her arm stretched over her head, pulling at her taught muscles and released a loud yawn. 

Gotak was the first to open the car door, Suho instinctively wrapped the blanket around her tighter as the cool breeze entered the vehicle. She unbuckled her seatbelt, the sound snapping and hitting the roof of the car with a small thud; with a sigh, she followed after her bother, bracing herself for the cold air to run along the surface of her skin. She eyed Gotak who was almost at the foot of the door to the building and finally stepped out. The rain continued to fall, but not nearly as aggressive as it had before they had picked her up — still though, Suho ran for the door, almost tripping over the blanket. 

Behind her, the headlights finally switched off and was joined by Baku appearing in the hallway. He brushed his wet hair back and ushered her toward the lift. 

The flat still had the lights on when they finally stepped through the threshold — clothes strewn on the floor, Suho cringed. 

Gotak cleared his throat, “we uh— didn’t have time to—” 

“Enough, enough,” Suho said, clapping her hands over her ears. Baku laughed behind her, placing his shoes on the small rack by the door. 

“Do you want a drink Suho?” Baku offered, headed toward their small kitchen — though it didnt feel small, seeing that the space was open plan. “Have a sit down at the table, Gotak will sort your shit out so you can sleep more comfortably.” Baku eyed his boyfriend, who followed the instruction without hesitation. 

Suho dropped her bags by one of the sofas before making herself comfortable at the table, awaiting on Baku’s tea. 

He handed her a mug, a white ceramic base with words — badly hand written — saying worlds best boyfriend. Suho’s eyes flicked up at Baku’s.

He blinked. “What?” He leaned in, inspecting the cup, “is something wrong?” 

Suho bit her lip, stifling her laugh. Baku’s eyes widened, finally registering the words on the mug, “shit!”

He went to grab the cup out of her hands, but she flinched back. “Suho let me go grab you a different one, I swear I wasn’t thinking.” He clasped the palm of his hand against his forehead. 

Suho laughed. For the first time that day, her chest had eased up enough to settle the nerves which clenched tightly around her like a vice. Finally, she took a long, deep breath. 

“Baku, it’s fine,” Suho reassured her friend, “I swear. Besides,” her mouth twitched into a small smile, barely there — but something, nonetheless — “I don’t want to be treated like glass, that might make this worse.” 

Baku smiled, rounding the table and pulling out a chair to sit beside her. “Suho,” he said. “We aren’t treating you like you’re fragile. We’re holding you with gentleness because you are deserving of that, especially now.” 

Suho eyed her friend, a swelling of pride puffing out in her chest. “Thank you, again.” 

“No need for thanks, I do expect you to buy us all a round of drinks though. For, you know, having had to deal with that dick head for far too long.” 

Suho coughed out a laugh. “I second this notion!” Gotak called, appearing at the hallway with a handful of pillows and blankets. Baku immediately got up from his chair and hurriedly walked over to his boyfriend, easing some of the load off his hands and carrying the rest toward the sofa where Suho would be sleeping in. 

They laid the blankets down and provided Suho with a million plushies, some she recognised from when she and Gotak were kids. 

“Is that…” Suho walked closer to the bed. “Oh my God, it is.” She picked up the Spider-man plushie. “I thought I lost this,” she snapped her head toward her brother. “Did you steal my plushie?” Her voice raised, though there was no real bite to it. 

Gotak averted his eyes. “Oh, look at that. Baku, we should go to bed. Goodnight my dearest little sister, sleep well!”

He pushed Baku in front of him, disappearing behind the door at the end of the hallway, leaving Suho in the quiet of Gotak’s apartment. 

She inhaled a long breath, flexing her hands over her thighs, fixating her sight on her new bed. Suho exhaled. 

“Okay,” she muttered, to no one in particular. She looked over at the bags she’d brought with her, having thrown what ever she could find into the two small rucksacks. In the back of her mind, a nagging thought left a pulsating thrum on her temple; she was aware that, at some point, she would have to go back and get the rest of her things. The thought alone was enough to erase the small pocket of peace she’d felt, not more than twenty minutes ago, while in the company of Gotak and Baku. 

“Cross that bridge when I get there,” she said, as reassurance to herself more than anything else. 

Suho quickly changed into a pair pf sweats — the first ones her hands had reached for in her cupboards — and pulled an old hoodie over her head. 

“Fuck!” Suho screamed as she rummaged through her cupboards, and wardrobe. “I must have at least one fucking jumper that hadn’t belonged to him,” she cried. Her tears had not yet fallen, though the threat was there. With every hint that they might spill, Suho found something new thing to kick — or punch. One she had taken particular pleasure in, was his precious PlayStation. 

“Prick!” Her voice bounced off the walls as her foot came down on the device. “Wanker!” Another kick. “Piece of shit!” Her hands, greedy for retribution, found themselves picking up the device. She held the thing high above her head before releasing a guttural scream and with it, Wooyoung’s PlayStation, hitting the floor with a loud crash. 

“Fuck you!” Her chest heaved. 

Against the reflection in the window she could see how the hoodie had been stretched out from the years she’d owned it, prior to Wooyoung. It was almost comforting in a sense, as insignificant as a hoodie might be, it felt like regressing to herself — and a firm reminder that she was her own person. 

The sofa, much to her surprise, was more comfortable than what she had been expecting. Suho laid against the army of pillows, holding specifically onto her Spider-man plushie, and pulled out her phone. Despite the low light emitted from the lamp by the ledge of the sofa, her phones brightness still stung against her eyes. 

Hey, are you busy tomorrow? 

Suho wasn’t exiting Yeongi to reply fast, given the time at the top of her screen stating it was past three in the morning, Suho put the phone down beside her leg; a buzz vibrated against the covers. 

Nah, you okay? 

Suho smiled, she should chastise her and tell her she should be asleep, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that, reluctant to give up the company it brought her. 

 I broke up with Wooyoung. 

The bubble appeared then disappeared a few times on the bottom left hand corner of the screen. Suho gnawed on one of her nails — or tried to at least — before remembering she had her stupid acrylics on, an agitated exhale rushed out her mouth. 

Where are you?

Do you need me to come pick you up? 

Should I bring a body bag and a shovel? 

Suho laughed, unable to stop the grin spreading along her face. 

No body bag needed tonight lmao  

Maybe another day <3 

I’m at my brother’s house, just wanted to see if you wanted to come over and keep me company tomorrow?

Girl, you don’t need to ask me twice. I’ll bring some trashy rom-coms and snacks. And a few old plates for you to break, lol 

it’s a date lmao 

What about right now tho, do you wanna call? 

Nah, I think I’ll just try to go to sleep. Goodnight <33

Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow. 

Suho leaned over the side of the sofa, reaching for a cable Baku had left plugged in for her to use. Dropping the phone on the side table, Suho turned off the light — though she kept the windows to the apartment open. From her brothers flat, she could see Seoul's bustling streets, still busy with life. The bright lights, emitted by lamp posts and the endless sea of high rises, cast a gentle glow over the living room — which was fine, Suho was never much of a fan of complete darkness anyway. Rain fell softly against the glass, she watched as droplets raced each other — creating their small drag paths — as they fell toward the window sill. The gentle patter helped ease her growing anxiety.

The video played over and over again behind her eyes, like an annoying migraine. She rubbed the side of her temples, exhaling a long, shaky breath. Suho curled further into her blanket, wrapping her arms around her knees and rocked herself to the sound of the rain. 

Eventually, Suho’s eyes finally gave way to her sleep. Though a lingering question pondered in her mind, seeping into her dreams as she gave into her drowsiness: was I not good enough?

<3

It wasn’t the sun seeping through the windowpanes which woke Suho up, nor the warmth soaking against her skin and seeping into her limbs — heavy with fatigue — but the hushed voices of two men whispering in the kitchen behind her. Suho peeled one eye open, focusing on the two figures, as she craned her neck over the ledge of the armrest. 

Baku had her brother pinned between himself and the kitchen island, peppering kisses all over Gotak — who had his back turned to Suho, and oblivious to the scrutiny on her face. 

“Can you get a fucking room, please?” she croaked out, her voice sounding almost like brittle wood. 

Gotak whipped around, already riled up by her comment, only to be stopped by Baku wrapping his arms around him. He opened, then closed his mouth again, relenting to Baku’s hold, and melting into his embrace. 

Baku smirked, placing a small kiss on Gotak’s temple, it did make Suho’s chest squeeze. It wasn’t jealousy or sadness, nor was it happiness. It was more like acceptance, she had allowed herself to be given the bare minimum, as though it were worth the silver tray it had been handed to her on.

“You’re too easy,” she said, in the hopes that Gotak’s inability to not rise to the bait could entertain her long enough for the sinking feeling in her chest to soften. 

“I’m only being nice to you right now because you are heart broken.” 

“Tak-ah, you don’t possess a single mean bone in your body.” 

“All bark and no bite with him,” Baku chimed in, earning a light slap on his chest from Gotak. “What are your plans today, Suho? Do you want to come with me to the gym, miss having you around there, the other guys don’t fight as well,” he pouted. 

Suho smiled, running her hand along her knee —where a small scar ran along the underside — “maybe another time,” she smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes and she chastised herself because the look on Baku’s face told her he knew. 

“Okay,” he said, “well if you change your mind.” 

“I know, thank you Baku. Bedsides, Yeongi is coming over today. We plan on just sitting in and watching films all day.” 

Gotak perked up. “She owes me 10,000 w—”

“I’m here!” The door flew open, neither of them hearing the code being punctured into the keypad. All three of them snapped their head in the direction where Yeongi stood — three bags in hand. 

“Wha—” Gotak turned to look at Suho, “wh— why does she had the code to my house, Suho?” 

“I mean, we’re all family are we not?” 

“No?” 

“Might as well be, we’ve been attached at the hip since birth pretty much,” Yeongi intervened. Suho hummed in response, queuing a loud frustrated groan out of her brothers mouth. 

“Yeah, much to my detriment.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, finally he turned back to Yeongi. “Hey, please, make yourself at home.” 

She dropped her things and ran to Gotak, wrapping her arms around him, “you love me really.” 

“Unfortunately, I do yes. Get off me.” 

“Yeah you’re right, this is weird.” She pushed off him, turning her gaze to Baku. “Hey, you okay?” 

Baku smiled, “yeah, not bad. You?” 

Before Yeongi could respond, Gotak cut her off, pointing a finger at her. “You owe me 10,000₩.” 

Suho let the two of them bicker back and forth, droning out their voices as she went over to pick up her friends bags form the doorway. 

She dropped them next to her own bags, resisting the urge to laugh at how ridiculous her friend was, three bags, Suho shook her head. On the table where she had left her phone, the device vibrated. Her heart squeezed, rushing to pick it up but the only notifications showing on her screen were one from her halmeoni, and something to do with how much her phone bill was going to cost this month. She let out a sigh, slightly embarrassed with herself for wishing there had been at least one text from Wooyoung. 

My god, I’m pathetic. Suho switched off the device, placing the phone in her back pocket. She glanced over at Yeongi and Gotak, still raging at each other. 

“Yeongiiiii!” Suho called out to her best friend. “Ignore the twink and come and sit here with me, I want to start watching these films.” She flicked through the selection of movies Yeongi had brought with her raging from Ten Things I hate About You, to She's the Man.

“Who are you calling twink?” Gotak scoffed. “Mind you, this twink beat your ex to an inch of his life last night.” 

“It's a mentality thing, you just give off the vibe,” Yeongi sniggered. In the back, Baku’s shoulders shook as he silently laughed into his hand. Gotak flipped around to look at him, his boyfriend stopped immediately.

“Baku, stand up,” Suho laughed. 

Yeongi dropped down beside her. “Which one do you want to start with?” 

Suho motioned to the one she held in her hand, holding up How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. “How do you feel about this one?” 

“You know we have Netflix, right?” said Gotak. 

Suho leaned forward, meeting her brothers eyes. “Netflix has shit options. Besides, nothing beats flicking through DVD’s and watching all the trailers.”

“Sure, okay, whatever.” He turned to his boyfriend, “are you ready to leave baby? I’ll drop you off at the gym.” 

Baku nodded, picking up his duffle bag off the floor and followed Gotak out of the door. 

Suho and Yeongi spent the rest of the day doing exactly as they said they would. They curled into each other on the sofa, blankets rolled out over them. Suho holding her Spider-man plushie, and Yeongi with a random one she’d picked from Suho’s giant pile. At some point during the day, Baku had come home, and had made them both a bowl of ramen. The man headed back out again, presumably to go visit his father at the restaurant — as he so often did — to help with the early evening rush. Suho watched as the steam dissolved into the air, her stomach growling, she should wait for it to cool down. Suho reached for the bowl. 

“I’ve never known anyone to have such little patience when it comes to food, help,” Yeongi laughed. Suho eyed her as she lifted the ramen up to her mouth, some of the noodles sliding out. 

“Girl, mind your business and watch the film.” She shoveled the food into her mouth, taking a deep breath of cold air, because the food was — as expected— very hot. She would be damned if she let Yeongi tell her she told her so. 

After several hours and multiple films later, the sun began to set across the sky. Most of the day, they’d had the curtains drawn, to keep the glare off the TV; around the fifth film, Suho had switched her phone back on — still no texts — the time read seven in the afternoon. 

“I’m going to open the curtains, there’s usually such a nice view of the sunset from this flat,” Suho announced, lifting herself off the sofa. For the next hour, the two of them sat facing the window and just watched the warm golden glow seep through the clouds, colouring the sky with an array of hues softened by the clouds, dusting the underside in soft purples and pinks. 

“He hasn’t even texted me, you know.” 

Yeongi watched her, taking a sip from her drink. “Do you want him to? Would it change anything?” 

“No.” Suho’s shoulders slumped. “But at least I would have some kind of satisfaction that he’d know what he did was wrong.” 

“But you know that already.” Yeongi reached out for her friends hand. “There’s something else, isn’t there?” 

Suho finally met her eyes, sucking in a sharp breath, but gave a gentle nod. Tears welled up in her eyes, Yeongi left her side and hurried over to the bathroom, bringing her a small packet of tissues, before falling beside her and holding Suho into her arms. 

“It’s just,” she sniffled into the tissue, “did he even ever want me?” Yeongi circled her fingers over her shoulders, the motion dissolving the stress. Suho lifted her head off her friends shoulder, she could just make out Yeongi’s soft features through her watery eyes. 

“He just let me go, so easily, didn’t even fight it. I know what he did was wrong, I don’t want him back, that’s not what this is. But, I want to feel like I was something he lost.” The tears dropped, her vision clearing, revealing her best friend smiling at her. “Does that make sense?” 

Suho went to wipe her tears away, but Yeongi beat her to it. “Of course, yes it makes sense Suho. And you’re valid for feeling this way.” She wrapped Suho tighter in her arms, she leaned into her friends touch, burying her face into the crook of Yeongi’s neck again and let out a loud sob. 

“It’s okay, shhh” Yeongi cooed, slipping her fingers through Suho’s hair. “You know,” she said, “I kinda miss your short hair.” Yeongi leaned over to where her phone had been discarded on the floor. Her fingers tapped for a few seconds before she pulled away from Suho, lifting the device to her face. It was a picture of the two of them in the first year of university, at some random freshers party — and very, excruciatingly drunk. They had managed to sneak into a bar, still having not reached the drinking age, and Suho had her hair cut into a messy wolf cut. Her fringe fell messily over her eyes and she had glitter all over her face and smeared lip gloss on her lips. 

“I missed this girl, that man took my party girl away from me, and I will never forgive him for that.” 

“I’ve been single for not even a day and you’re already trying to recruit me as your wing woman?” Suho laughed, whole and genuine, the sound filled her chest, a tidal wave of comfort washing over her.

“I don’t need you to be my wing woman, I’ve fared pretty well in your absence.” Yeongi nodded her head with triumph. It earned another laugh out of Suho. “I just want to go on a night out with you, you should go have real fun.” 

“Gi-yah…” 

“What? I know you weren’t having fun with him.” 

“I— he wasn’t that bad.” Suho said, taken aback. 

“Wasn’t that bad, is not what one says to describe a healthy sex life,” Yeongi said, pointedly. 

Suho laughed, holding her hands out in defeat. “You know what, yeah. Why am I even defending him, bro was the most vanilla, bland mother fucker I have ever been with.” Another thought occurs to her. “And this man has the audacity to cheat on me? As if I was the one not giving him good sex?” Suho scoffed, “gave him the best head he’s ever received and what did I get? Five seconds of his tongue on my clit before he deemed I was ready to have his dick inside me.” 

Yeongi stared at her with her eyes wide open. “This isn’t even not having good time, you’ve literally been starved. How the fuck did you let him treat you like that for so long?” 

Suho opened her mouth, but no words came out. Truth was, she wasn’t sure — well, she was — In the beginning, Wooyoung had been charming, had helped her while she’d been at her lowest and had been persistent. He’d made her feel wanted. 

“I guess, I just hoped that the man that I had fallen for would come back and that we were just going through a phase. We have a lot of shared history that I can't just ignore, with our families being friends and all.” 

“Yeah, yeah don't remind me. And was the sex good from the start?” 

Suho slapped her friend on the shoulder. “Oh my god, Yeongi! ” Suho looked away in embarrassment, stifling her laugh. “Listen I thought he’d get better with time. I don’t always expect for sex to be mind blowing from the very start, that is just unrealistic.” 

“My god, my sweet angel lost her wings.” Yeongi combed her fingers through Suho’s long hair. “Not tonight, but some time soon, lets go out okay?” 

Suho rolled her eyes. “Fine.” 

“Can I cut your hair?” Her friend said abruptly, almost pouncing on her. She didn’t give Suho a chance to respond, before she was pulling her by the hand and lifting her on her feet. “Come on.” Yeongi ushered Suho toward the bathroom. “Sit,” she motioned toward the toilet seat. 

Suho complied, switching some music on — it played through the speakers around the flat, filling the apartment with a comfortable noise, keeping Suho’s mind busy. 

By the time that her brother and Baku had arrived back at the house, hair covered the floor in small mountains of dark locks. At that point in time, they’d both had copious amount of alcohol, the empty soju bottles all over the bathroom floor as evidence. 

She heard her brother say something, but the words didn’t fully register. Yeongi and her had found hairbrushes and started singing into them as though they were microphones, while the music blasted through the speakers. 

“Suho!” 

Suho whipped her head around to her brother who stood at the door with a horrified look on his face. 

“Do you like my new hair?” She screamed. 

“Wha— oh my god.” He stepped into the bathroom, carefully avoiding the bottles on the floor. “The fuck did you?” Gotak spun around, searching for Baku. “Were you not home earlier?” 

“I thought they'd be fine” he laughed.

“Suho is coming out of retirement, bitches!” She threw her hands in the air, almost knocking over a half empty bottle of soju from the sink. Gotak caught it in his hand. 

“As long as it’s not in my home, I don’t care,” her brother answered. 

“Right,” she turned to Yeongi who was half way through her fifth bottle. “Yeongi-yah! I need a new place to live.” The plush bottom of Suho’s lip protruded outward, a loud groan echoed against the tiled walls as she stomped her feet on the ground. 

“Christ, it’s like looking after a child. No, Suho don—” 

“Where am I going to live?” she cried. “Oh. My. God. I’m going to be homeless.” Her eyes turned bleary. 

“Suho, you’re not going to be homeless, you can stay with us as long as you need until you find a new place.” Gotak, guided her toward the toilet seat, removing some of the glass bottles, handing them to Baku, before helping her to sit down. “Stay here, I’m going to go get you some water. Yeonnie, have a seat on the floor he— no, not the— yeah, just there.” 

Suho giggled, watching her brother try his best not to lose his temper. Baku, who had momentarily disappeared, appeared at the door again with two glasses of water and some bread. 

“Here, have some of this.” He knelt before Suho, handing the other half to Gotak, who gave it to Yeongi. 

Suho became all too aware of the music blaring through the speakers; raising a hand to her temples, she massaged the muscles. “Too much,” she slurred the words, pointing toward the speaker. Gotak nodded and left Yeongi’s side. The music softened. She didn’t recognise the song, but she leaned into it regardless. Her mind clouded, all she could focus on were the notes of the piano and the soft melodies seeping into her. Suho opened her eyes. 

“He has my guitar,” Suho’s lip quivered. 

“We will get the rest of your things tomorrow, Suho. Don’t worry, ” said Baku, easing the glass of water against her lips, encouraging her to take another sip. 

“I miss my guitar,” she mumbled against the rim of the cup. 

“I know you do —just take a sip, hm?” Baku urged the water against her mouth. “There you go, now take a bite of this, it’s going to help you.” 

“Baku,” Suho hiccuped, some of the water splashed out of her mouth, landing on her lap. She inspected the wet patch with her finger. "I don’t want to see him.”

“And you won’t,” Gotak added with a note of finality. She lifted her eyes to her brother. “Baku and I will go tomorrow, you can sit here and recover with Yeonnie.” 

“Okay,” she said, weakly. “Thank you, Tak-ah.” Her eyes fell shut. 

<3

The next morning, Suho found herself curled into the sofa. Her head felt heavy, accompanied by a throbbing pain piercing against her skull; her stomach was in no better condition. As she tried to rise from the pillows, her gut churned, making concerning sounds. She reached for the plastic lined bin, left right by her sofa, holding it close to her. 

Suho ran a hand through the strands of her hair, combing through them with far more ease than what she was used to. What? Flashes of the night before came in short bursts: one of Yeongi holding the scissors, another of her hair pooled all around the floor. Suho leaned her head against the armrest, dragging a hand across her face. 

“Ah, you’re awake.” 

“Gotak, please,” Suho winced. “Not so loud.” 

“I’m literally talking at normal volume.” 

“Shhhh.” Suho closed her eyes, lifting a finer to her lips. Her bothers shadow fell over the expanse of her face. 

“Here,” he whispered, placing a cup of water with a powder, still dissolving, in it. “To help with the hang over.” He left another one by the coffee table next to where Yeongi slept.

“Thanks,” she mumbled into the glass. 

"we're heading out to get the rest of your things."

Suho nodded, the realisation that her chapter was closing, while an unknown future was actively being written and completely out of her control, made her stomach surge. She gripped onto the basket, the bile rising pushing past her lips.

<3

The following weeks bled from one to the other. There were moments where Suho would be okay, more than okay, and then she would walk past a couple on the street —sat in their own world on a park bench — and her heart would sink. She missed the small touches, the rush of falling deeper, knowing someone was going to be there to catch her; and yes, maybe when Wooyoung caught her, it wasn’t met with longing gazes and lingering touches, but he’d intercepted her fall, that should’ve been enough, right? She’d become particularly good at closing her eyes to what she actually deserved. Because, if she could see how others were being loved, then she’d have to confront that she was accepting the bare minimum. Wooyoung did just enough where she could convince herself to look away, when Baku would go out of his way to go across the city to buy Gotak his favourite flowers from his favourite flower shop — because Gotak had offhandedly mentioned it one time. When Gotak held Baku in his arms, as though he were holding the whole universe within them, Suho would find herself at the bottom of a bottle, facing the other way. With her guitar and note pad in hand, she would  look for the words of adoration, and gentle sincerity, she longed to be held with, and found them through her lyrics. Suho would pretend they were from him. She would find a way to spin emptiness in his words, and weave them into a thread — the colour of fools gold — and fill it out into a web she could lay in and tell herself that this was his way of making her feel special. 

But now, clear as the first morning light, Suho couldn’t ignore it anymore, there were no more excuses she could make for him. Kang Wooyoung was a dick head, and she deserved better. 

<3

Suho woke up to suspicious noises originating from her brothers room. Grabbing one of the pillows off the side, she suffocated her face into it and silently screamed. 

“I need to find my own place,” she muttered to herself. 

In quick succession, Suho lifted herself off the sofa and arched for whichever clothes she could find, grabbed her lap top and ran out of the house — making a point to slam the door behind her. Thankfully, there was a small 7/11 near her brothers apartment building; Suho walked, in making a beeline for the counter where an array of chewing gum were on display. Without giving it a second thought, she bought the mint one and threw three in her mouth in one go.

The sun slowly peeked though the clouds as the warmth gently dispelled the cool morning breeze. Baku and her brother had finally retrieved most of her things from Wooyoung, including her motorbike. She inspected the vehicle for any damage, smiling at herself when she was satisfied that Baku hadn’t left a single scuff. Suho swung her leg over the seat, reaching for her keys and switched the ignition on. Her motorbike rumbled to life, the thrum of the engine a comfort to the tempest growing in the back of her mind. 

The coffee shop was mostly empty as she passed through the door, save for one girl — she had mountains of books all dispersed across the table — she wore earphones, completely unaware of Suho. 

“Good morning, what can I get for you?” The woman at the counter asked, with a smile barely reaching wider than her cheeks, sleep still present in the corner of her eyes. She was very pretty though, despite it all. 

Suho smiled back, offering the lady a knowing smile. “Hi, could I please get a taro milk tea?” 

“Of course.” The woman tapped a few buttons on the pad in front of her. “Will that be hot or cold?” 

“Cold, please.” 

“And is that regular sweetness?” 

“Your pretty smile would be enough,” the words escaped Suho’s mouth before she could stop them. Oh my fucking god what is wrong with me. The woman’s smile however, reaching her eyes this time, where small, beautiful crinkles formed, get a hold of yourself, Suho. A blush spreaf over the woman's cheeks. Suho bit her lip, her smile turning into a quirked lop dided smirk, watching the woman stumble with the task in front of her. 

She cleared her throat, “that’ll be 5,500 won, please. Tap when you’re ready.” She motioned to the keypad. 

Suho held her eyes as she clicked the tip option and added an extra 10% on top. When the card machine beeped, signifying it had read her card properly, the woman smiled and offered her to take a seat and she’d bring over the drink when it was ready. 

Suho flashed her teeth, rolling her bottom lip between them. “Thank you, lovely.” 

The woman hid behind her hands, covering the blush which had spread to the tops of her ears, as she released a small giggle.

Turning to go find her seat, Suho felt the weight of someone looking at her. It was the girl she’d noted when she’d first walked in, who’d been buried in her books — pen furiously scribbling down notes — but her attention was now on Suho. The slow pressure of something building inside of her caused for her to shift, momentarily rendering her motionless. The girl had piercing eyes, wide and unyielding. She pinned Suho to her spot with out fear, as though challenging her to look away first. 

“Here you go,” came what felt like a distant voice. The lady from the counter placed Suho’s coffee before her, along with a napkin and a number messily written all over it. The girl sat on the other side of the cafe dropped her eyes at the napkin, then blinked back up at Suho impassively, before turning back to her studies. 

Suho forced herself to look away, meeting her servers eyes. “Thank you,” Suho smiled. 

She blushed. “No worries,” she said, before turning back to the counter where another customer waited to be attended. 

The girl sat on the other side of the cafe didn’t look back at her again, but Suho had noted she no longer sat with a relaxed ease, as though she could feel Suho peering at her over the top of her laptop. 

Release me from the shackles of house hunting! 

Have you found anything good yet? 

No :(  they’re all either extremely expensive, look dodgy as fuck or rooming with men (never want to go near one ever again) 

Yeah, real. I thought I lost my best man hater, I’m glad she’s still thriving. 

Lol,  but srsly Yeonnie, I’m at my wits end. 

Been sat at this cafe for three hours and I can’t find anything, I can’t spend another week at my brothers house, I will go insane :’( 

Though not all bad, there’s a pretty girl in front of me. 

Oh??? 

She lowk looked at me like she was about to reprimand me for disturbing her studying lmao. 

Like girl, do you know I’m insane ? 

Pls tell me off. 

You’re fkn embarrassing lmao 

Yeonnie??? 

When was the last time you got laid? 

Since Wooyoung.

Right, first of all, that bitch ass man doesn’t count lmao. 

If you have to finish yourself off, then you haven’t been laid. 

I stand by this. 

Im ctfuuu. In that case … idk :’’((( 

Okay, yk what it’s been long enough. I'm cashing in on that night out tonight. 

Come to mine to get ready. 

Suho turned her phone off, focusing her attention back onto the screen in front of her. She could do with some fun. She certainly didn’t want to spend any more time sat in front of her computer looking at shitty apartments with audacious rental prices. She found herself cursing Wooyoung’s existence once more. 

Another hour went by and Suho made no real advances. Her attention drifted to the girl, still writing down her notes, focus undeterred by the world around her. The girl went to take a sip out of her cup but stopped when her drink didn’t reach her lips. That had been the only other time their eyes met that morning. Suho didn’t know what it was about her, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away. She was absorbed by the dark brown eyes, hidden beneath her thick line of lashes, and her plump lips. The girls tongue absentmindedly toyed with the straw. There was no flicker of emotion, not a twitch of a smile, just the weight of being observed by her, excitement thrummed along nerves of her spine. The girl watched her, as though Suho had become the subject she’d decided to study, rather than the books in front of her. Possessiveness stirred inside of her, the sudden realisation washing over her that she desperately craved for this girl — who ever she was — to keep abandoning her concentration and fixate on Suho instead.

Yeah, Suho thought, forcing herself to look away. Yeongi was right. 

She packed up her things and left the cafe, the girl had gone back to her books and ignored Suho’s presence as she walked by her table. Though, satisfaction curled in her stomach seeing how the pretty girl stiffened, ever so lightly as she passed by her. 

Suho smirked walking out the door.

<3

Yeongi poured another round of shots, the alcohol messily spilling over the sides of the small glass. Withholding her laugh, she tried to keep her hand steady — it was no use. The two of them spilled into a fit of giggles, filling the small studio.

“Your neighbours absolutely hate us.” Suho could barely breath. 

“Good, maybe she’ll finally come over and shut me up,” Yeongi whined. 

“Is this Harin?” Yeongi nodded in response. 

“Suho,” she slurred, “she is so fit.” Yeongi collapsed herself onto Suho, trusting her to catch her — almost spilling the drinks off the table — again — in the process. 

“Yeonnie, be careful,” Suho heaved between laughs. 

“I’ve fantasised so many times of Harin and those stupid pink frilly shorts she always wears to do her laundry.” 

“You’re as bad as me. God, we are hopeless.” 

Yeongi nodded, the effects of alcohol seeping through her makeup, leaving a light blush across her cheeks and up her neck. 

Suho’s phone lit up with an alert that their Uber was on the way. The two of them posed in front of the mirror, taking a few pictures. Suho had opted for her favourite jorts; they hung low on her waist and were baggy; most importantly, they were comfortable. Usually, had it been anything else, she would have worn one of her baseball jerseys and called it a day. It wasn't that she didn't like to dress up, or look girly — she loved it, actually — but, somewhere along the line, she'd fallen into a familiar comfort, something she was still trying to shake off since Wooyoung. It was the reason that Suho let Yeongi take charge, instead of putting up a fight.

"I knew you'd gotten comfortable, I didn't realise how deep the damage went…" Yeongi lifted a hand to her mouth, covering her gasp. “You have the best tits I’ve ever seen I'm not letting you cover them up. I refuse to let you do that tonight.” The girl spun on her heel and ran to her closet, pulling out a very small baby tee. 

Suho’s eyes widened. “Gi-yah, there’s showing off my chest, then there’s literally exposing my tits out to every poor unsuspecting victim. I’m going to get looks!” She grabbed the garment, shaking it in front of her friends face. 

“Good, and they’ll be grateful for it.” 

Now as they stood before the mirror, Suho had to give credit to her friend, she did look good. The top had a large cut out, exposing the tops of her breasts where her bra pushed them up — almost suffocating them— and a necklace dangled loosely in the depth of her cleavage; like the cherry on top, her red bra, decorated with frills along the edge, peaked over exposed neckline. The top was white, with something written in English, which she didn’t understand, across her chest. The hem fell just over her belly button, leaving a sliver of skin around her midriff exposed, where Yeongi had dressed her with a thin waist chain. 

Suho, despite preferring to wear flats, wasn’t opposed to wearing heels. Which is why, even before showing up at Yeongi’s house, she had come prepared with her favourite pair of kitten heels, the toe pointed and covered in a leopard print pattern. 

“Fuck, you look so good!” Yeongi squealed. 

“So do you!” She looked at her best friend, who’d chosen to wear the shortest, denim mini skirt she’d ever seen. Yeongi had paired it with over the knee platformed boots, giving her friend some more height — though she was still significantly shorter than Suho — Finally, she wore an oversized jersey top, she’d tucked the side into her bra, exposing her stomach and her silver belly button piercing. 

Yeongi did a little jump, clapping both her hands. “Okay, lets go!” 

<3

The night club, once they arrived, was unforgivably cramped. People pushed up against her as Yeongi led the two of them straight toward the bar, holding her hand with a death grip. 

Before they could even hail down one of the servers, a tall man crowded the two of them. Suho, instinctively, reached to put Yeongi behind her as she narrowed her eyes up at him. The man smirked, interpreting Suho’s annoyance as a challenge. God they’re all brainless. 

“You ladies come here with someone?” he asked, raising his voice over the music. 

Suho folded her hands over her chest, hating the way her breasts pushed together and the way he’d noticed; she almost recoiled in disgust as he licked his lips, flicking his eyes back at her. 

Suho huffed out a frustrated sigh, “what’s it to you?” 

“Just a guy looking to treat some beautiful women,” the man said, already pulling out his wallet. 

“You’re full of sh—” 

“We would like that very expensive looking bottle of wine,” she intercepted Suho, placing a hand on her side to push her out of the way, as her friend batted her eyelashes up at the man. Suho rolled her eyes at the way Yeongi set her trap and the man fell for it. Pathetic.

Yeongi reached her hand out, letting her finger drag along the mans shirt. “You look like the kind of man who could afford it.” The girl bit her lip, it was incredulous, really, Yeongi scared her sometimes. Suho remained silent, letting the master manipulator do her finest on the unknowing, idiot of a man. 

He waved down the waiter, requesting the order Yeongi instructed from him. Suho hadn’t noticed at first — too distracted with making sure that their bottle wasn’t being tampered with — she was met with a pair of familiar eyes, hidden by the recognisable glasses which had belonged to Wooyoung’s friend. 

“Suho,” he said, surprised. “It’s been a while.” Yeongi took the bucket from his hand, motioning to a free table which had miraculously opened up near the back of the cub. Suho nodded at her to go, that she’d catch up in a second — the man who’d bought them the wine, long forgotten. She heard him scoff, calling them bitches, before he found another woman to perv on. 

Suho cleared her throat, and met Beomseok's in the eyes. “Hey,” she said, intentionally clipped. 

Beomseok’s Adam’s apple rose and fell. “I’m sorry,” he cleared his throat, “about Wooyoung.” He adverted his eyes, Suho resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 

“I don’t need apologies.” 

“He was an ass, you didn’t deserve that.” 

“Right,” she hummed. “And yet, you knew about it didn’t you? I didn’t deserve it, but you didn’t have the decency to tell me? Nor clearly did you have the balls to hold him accountable.” She shook her head, her mood souring with each passing second. Suho straightened her back. “You men, you’re all the fucking same.”

Suho was about to turn and leave, but she needed him to feel the bite of her words — just that bit more. “Enjoy my left overs, by the way. I know you never really liked me, well, go ahead and roll over for him like a good little boy. But know this, Beomseok, he will never love you back. Not the way you want him to.” Suho scoffed, “worst part of all this, we could have been friends, I wanted us to be friends. What ever, he’s your fucking problem now.” 

Suho finally turned away from the bar and pushed through the crowds of people until she found Yeongi at the table glass of wine already held out for her. 

“No more frowns, men don’t deserve that.” She held her glass up high, Suho clinked her glass against hers. 

“Amen.” They both drank. 

Yeongi placed the glass on the table. “There’s a girl over there, she hasn’t stopped looking at you since you moved away from the bar.” 

Suho followed her friends gaze, her heart almost stuttering to full stop as her eyes landed on who she was referring to. 

“No, fucking way…” 

“What is it?” 

“Yeonnie,” she turned to her friend, “that’s the girl from the cafe, the one I was telling you from this morning.” 

“Girl, what the fuck are you wanting for.” She said, already pushing her in the direction of the pretty girl, who’d moved her attention to the ceiling — looking bored out of her mind. 

“Yeonnie, no,” Suho whined. “I’m here with you, I’m not leaving you.” 

The shorter girl shook her head. “I don’t want to hear it, besides, you being next to me is deterring women from coming up to me. You’re not the only one sexually frustrated.” She pushed Suho’s shoulders, ushering her forward. “Go, go.” 

Suho stopped short, facing her friend one more time. “Fine, give me that though, I’m going to need a lot more to drink.” She took the bottle of wine and gulped down several swigs, before she wiped her mouth. 

“Wait!” 

Suho froze. “I’m not letting you go like that, here.” Yeongi pulled out lip gloss from her purse and uncapped it, bringing the wand to Suho’s lips and coating them in a thick layer of gloss. “Much better,” Yeongi smiled. “Alright, off you go.” 

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Suho said, approaching the girl, who leaned against the wall. There was an edge to her, not the kind that meant Suho’s presence was unwanted, but one where she held Suho with a curious regard.

“You don’t know me.” The girl finally responded, her neck craned a little to meet Suho’s eyes. “How can you expect anything from someone you don’t know?” 

Suho smirked, inching closer. She tried to ignore the way heat coiled in her chest with the way the shorter responded to Suho crowding her in: back straightening and legs pressing together, heat pooled deep inside her.

“So, how about we get to know each other then?” Suho toyed with a piece of the girls hair, before moving it behind her ear. Suho's stomach flipped, simply letting her do as she pleased. Her features remained neutral, but Suho did not miss the way her chest rose and fell. She flicked her eyes down to where the girls top showcased a pair of tits, flushed red against the tight white body con she wore. “What’s your name, pretty girl?” 

There it was again, a hitch in her breath which was starting to drive Suho to the dregs of her sanity. The girl flicked between Suho’s eyes, her mouth then back up. 

“Yeon Sieun.” Sieun’s eyes fluttered.

Suho hummed in response. “Aren’t you going to ask me what my name is?” 

“You’re going to tell me anyways, aren’t you?” She peered up at her, with the kind of doe eyes which had Suho wanting to fall to her knees and devour her right against the wall. Suho was losing composure, faster than what she could keep up with, but she didn’t care. Sieun was pulling her in, and she willingly let herself be tug along, as though she had a leash on her neck. 

“If I tell you, do you promise to let my name roll off your tongue? I get the impression it’ll sound very pretty coming out of those lips.” 

The ghost of a smile teased the corner of Sieun’s mouth, as she rolled the bottom part of her lip between her teeth. “Wow, do that one more time and I may just get down on one knee,” Suho said, leaning in a fragment. It was enough for a small, rushed breath to escape out of Sieun's mouth and fan lightly against Suho's lips.

“Do you like to talk this much?” Sieun said, hesitantly lifting her hand, as though wondering if whether or not to touch Suho where she was — still — twirling the strands of Sieun’s hair through her fingers.

Suho closed the gap for her, threading their fingers together. “Only when they’re pretty girls,” she finally responded, running her thumb over Sieun’s knuckles. 

“So you talk to a lot of pretty girls?” Sieun raised her brow. “Like at the cafe, earlier today?”  

Suho smiled, as though she had just won a prize. “You were watching that, hm?” Fresh pink dusted over Sieun’s cheeks. Suho was so close now, she could make out the freckles sprinkled along her cheekbones. They shimmered under the glittery powdered highlight. 

“There’s been a few,” Suho leaned in further, their lips almost touching now. “Does that put you off, Sieun-ah?” 

“No, makes me wonder what the fuss is all about, though.” Bystanders may may not have seen the way Sieun’s face inched closer, a microscopic movement, even Suho might have missed — had it not been for the breath fanning her lips. She licked them, savouring the taste; an aphrodisiac to the meal staring up at her with big, brown eyes, waiting to be devoured.

“Would you like to find out?” The words came out strained, as her hand tightened around Sieun’s. 

The shorter girl looked down at Suho’s lips, barely a hairline apart. “What do you think?” 

Brat. Suho detached her hands from Sieun's, and instead let her fingers run along the exposed shoulder, and along her neck line, until they rested comfortably cradling the back of her neck. She angled Sieun into her, daring to nip at the bottom of her lip. Sieun released a moan, full of need. 

“Yes or no, Sieun.” 

“I still don’t know your name.” This girl is going to be the death of me. Suho tugged at Sieun’s hair, gentle but offering enough of a warning, electrifying the air between them. Sieun offered her a smile — dangerous and teasing — testing the limits of Suho's patience. 

“How about this.” Suho crossed the line, slotting their lips together. It was a little clumsy to begin with, but Sieun quickly reciprocated, moaning onto Suho’s lips. She slid her tongue against Sieun's, and began drawing shapes — letters — against the roof of Sieun’s mouth. She drew the first letter, then the second, then the third. Sieun quickly caught on.

“S,” she moaned, when Suho repeated the same actions. Another letter, “U.” Then Suho drew the letter h. 

Sieun breathed the final letter of her name into Suho's mouth, Sieun opened her eyes. 

Fuck. 

Sieun’s hands came around the nape of her neck, “Suho, please,” she begged. “Kiss me.” 

“I thought you’d never ask.” Suho thread their hands together and pulled Sieun to a near by bathroom. There were other girls in there, but they paid them no mind. Suho was lost in the depths of Sieun’s eyes as they tumbled together into a near by cubicle. The latch clicked shut while Suho slid Sieun’s bottom lip inside of hers.  

“You taste,” Suho mumbled into Sieun’s wet mouth, “how you look.” She could barely get the words out, Sieun greedily captured Suho’s lips in hers. 

Sieun pulled back briefly, spit stringing their mouths together. Suho pressed her forehead against the shorter girls and closed her eyes, grasping for any semblance of control — though that thread was quickly thinning. 

“And how do I look?” Sieun whispered, her breath hot against Suho. 

“Sweet.” Suho placed a kiss at the top of her jaw. “Like going to a candy store and nothing will ever suffice like the taste of your skin against my tongue.” Suho mumbled the words against Sieun as she trailed the column of her throat. She could feel how it bobbed, it sent a thrilling rush of heat through her body and pooling at her groin. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Sieun let out a breathy huff, the heat reaching the shell of Suho’s ear.

“Sure,” she cocked a smile, while her thumb trailed over Sieun’s hardened nipple. The girls moan echoed against the bathroom walls. Suho was aware of the people lingering in and out of the bathroom; she could hear hushed, pointed whispers, directed at the two of them— no doubt. Suho couldn’t conjure her dignity to care, and judging by the way Sieun writhed beneath her touch, not holding back her moans — god it was driving her insane — she knew she was also too lost, in the feel of Suho’s hands, to even acknowledge that they had an audience.  

Suho pulled down Sieun’s top, her tits falling free from the compression. “Was your plan today when you woke up, to push my limits of composure?” She kissed the top of Sieun’s breast, her lips forming into a small smirk when Sieun hissed. 

“How could I have possibly of known you’d be here, I don’t know you, remember?” she bit back. Sieun’s fingers thread through Suho’s hair, pulling tighter as Suho’s lips trailed further down the underside of Sieun’s tit. 

Suho hummed, her lips brushing over the girls nipple. Sieun tightened her hold and a moan ripped out of Suho’s mouth, opening up to take more of the girls tit in her mouth. 

“Humour me, baby.” Suho sucked. Sieun’s brown nipples reddened at the edges as she licked and bit at the flesh. Hearing the girls cries was enough to almost make her cum. Her thong already soaked through, rubbed against her clit — combined with the seam of her jeans — the lacy material elicited her arousal and Suho found herself grinding down, clamping her legs together, chasing the small shocks of pleasure. Her clit begged to be touched, but Suho ignored it. She enjoyed the way it made her mind clouded over, driven souly on sensation alone. Her sight faded into a blurry haze, water lining her eyes as her jeans kept adding pressure to a release she needed, but wouldn’t take. Not until she had the girl in front of her, cumming on her tongue — and so help her God, she would make that happen. 

Sieun kept letting out small whimpers, pressing Suho against her tits, her fingers flexing against the crown of Suho’s hair.

“Fine,” she finally whined. “I knew you’d be here. Knew you’d find me in the crowd. I wore this tight top, with out the bra, I never leave the house without, to give you easier access.” 

“Fuck,” Suho mewled, the tip of her tongue going over the raised nipple. Her other hand came around Sieun’s other breast, switching between the two, to fit them in her mouth; as if that would calm the insatiable hunger growing in the pit of her stomach.

“All of this for me, hm?” she said, with a mouthful of Sieun’s tit. Suho flicked her eyes up to the girl. Sieun had the back of her head leaning against the cubicle door, her mouth formed into a perfect ‘o’ shape; her breath, as it became more laboured, pushed her chest further into Suho’s mouth. Suho didn’t hesitate to bring both her hands over the girls sides, cupping her ass beneath her skirt. 

Suho paused, her mind reeling for a brief second, realising that the brunette wasn’t wearing anything — well, she was — what she wore was a tight top, clipped together beneath her mini skirt. Suho, with a devious smirk, pulled at the body suit, the thong tight against Sieun’s ass. The girl gasped, her eyes widening. Suho gave her no time to process it before her hands left their place and dragged up the sides of Sieun's body, grasping both her tits and squeezing them together. Another languid moan escaped Sieun’s lips, which Suho caught in her mouth, before she nose dived into the girls chest again. Rougher, this time, Suho attacked her nipples — her own pleasure increasing — as Sieun lost control of herself. Her nails scratched roughly all over Suho’s body: the nape of her neck, in-between the strands of her hair, on her shoulders. Her body vibrated with excitement in anticipation to find Sieun's claw marks all over her body tomorrow morning. 

“Ngh — oh, fuck!” Sieun screamed. Somewhere in the background, Suho heard scoffs, and a  few gasps. Good, she thought, let them hear how good she was making Sieun feel. 

“You’re about to cum, aren’t you baby,” Suho mouthed against her nipples, her hands spread all over her body, taking turns between pulling at her body suit snug against her body, and cupping her breasts — fitting perfectly in the palm of her hands. Suho bit down. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” The words spilled out of Sieun’s swollen lips. “You feel so good, oh god, please, please.” Her eyes flicked down and met Suho’s, it must have sent her over the edge because as Suho brushed her tongue over her abused nipple, Sieun’s whole body spasmed and shook uncontrollably. Suho, brought her hands around her hips, holding the girl tightly as she came down from her high. Sieun finished, coming down from her orgasm by capturing Suho’s lips in hers; they moaned into each other, teeth clashing, tongues moving in sync. 

When they finally parted, she found Sieun under an electric haze. Her pupils were blown out, taking over the brown depths of her eyes, sparkling like stars. She looked absolutely ruined. The image of Sieun spread over the counter, flashed behind her eyes. Suho buried between her legs, while others watched with feverish  jealousy… she snapped back, forcing herself to real it in. Instead, she pressed a chaste kiss on the girl who looked up at her, doe eyes drowning with wonder, and thread their hands together. 

Others may have called it it a walk of shame as they left the bathroom, but Suho couldn’t feel further from the feeling. The world around her fell into silence. It was just her, Sieun, and the pleasure of having made most beautiful girl she’d ever seen, cum with out having even properly touched her. Yet. 

She bought them both another round of drinks, glaring at one of the servers at the bar who looked at Sieun for a second too long. Suho possessively brought her hands around the girls hips and gently explored the expanse of Sieun's body — hot to the touch — her thumb inched further up, rubbing gentle circles along her ribcage. Sieun, oblivious to the stares she was receiving from men and women alike, melted into Suho’s touch. Suho didn’t miss a beat to trace kisses along the nape of her neck, and descend slowly to the beginning of her spine. Sieun’s hum vibrated against Suho’s tongue, she side stepped into Suho’s embrace, arching her neck for Suho. The club was dark, and packed with many people who, for the most part, minded their business. No one was witnessing the lingering trace of Suho’s fingers dipping lower, leaving the comfort of Sieun’s rib cage and falling between her legs.

Suho leaned in. “Lets see how good that poker face of yours is.”

She bit Sieun’s ear lobe, and let her tongue caress the shell; the metallic tang from her earrings invaded Suho's mouth. Her saliva, mixed with the droplets of sweat, glistened over Sieun's skin beneath the strobing lights. She placed her legs between Sieun’s, nudging them apart. Her skirt, already so short, rode up against Sieun’s thick thighs. To her credit, the girl remained impassive, keeping her breathing steady and her eyes ahead, as Suho’s fingers slowly rose higher until they were at her bodysuit — completely drenched from her orgasm. The material unclipped with ease between Suho’s fingers. It was the only time Sieun almost broke, watching her through the mirror behind the bar, savouring the way Sieun's eyes fluttered shut. Servers busied themselves with preparing drinks, for customers who chatted amongst themselves, blissfully unaware of the filth unfurling between Sieun's thighs. Carnal desire throbbed at the tips of Suho's fingers, as she began drawing slow circles over Sieun's clit.

“Think you can cum on my fingers in the time he makes our drinks?” Suho whispers, pressing open mouthed, wet kisses against the sweat collecting along the slope of her neck. They were so close together in that moment that every hitch of Sieun’s breath rubbed against Suho’s sensitive breasts. 

Sieun nodded, her eyes meeting Suho’s in the mirror. Despite the low lighting, Suho caught the glint in her eyes, filled with want, and edged her feet further apart for her. They moved closer to the bar, the counter top doing most of the hiding, whilst Suho shielded the rest of her. To everyone else, they looked like a couple, inseparable and needy —not an inherent lie. 

Through the mirror, she watched as Sieun leaned forward, placing her elbows over the table top, her hand strategically covering her mouth. Suho wished, so badly, they weren’t in such a loud space. She wanted to hear the squelches coming from between Sieun’s thighs. So fucking wet. This girl was a fever dream. Her slick dripped down her fingers. She reached from underneath —angling herself so to make sure no one could see — and dipped a finger inside her cunt. Sieun tensed around her and Suho had to bite back a moan. Sieun’s shoulders went rigid, her knuckles white against her mouth. She closed her eyes; to others, Sieun just looked as though she were basking in Suho’s soft gentle embrace —again, not a complete lie — while enjoying the music. They didn't know how her pussy clenched around her fingers. Suho snaked a hand around her waist, dipping around her front to play with her puffed clit, soft and wet against her fingers. 

“Open your eyes,” Suho ordered, Sieun listened. Tears brimmed at her waterline, threatening to ruin her pretty makeup. “He’s almost done making out drinks.” 

Sieun leaned back, turning her head so she was facing Suho. It amazed her how she was able to remain so calm, despite how Sieun throbbed against her fingers, the only sign Suho had that Sieun was on the verge of losing control. 

“So make me cum, Suho-yah,” she breathed against her lips. 

Suho accepted the challenge, switching her pace. She pulled her fingers out of Sieun’s cunt, swearing she heard the girl whine; a sound reserved only for Suho’s ears while it dissolved into the bass of the music around them. Her hand held her hip, while her finger spread her slit apart, before setting a relentless pace over her clit. Sieun vibrated against Suho, she moved against her hand with desperate need, gyrating against her fingers, as her arousal dripped down her thighs. 

“You’re getting real close aren’t you, pretty,” Suho mouthed into the side of her throat. Sieun nodded. Suho watched her again, through the mirror, seeing as the threads of composure undid themselves. Suho speed her movements, seeing the waiter already finishing the final components of their drinks. 

“Come on pretty,” Suho urged her. 

Sieun shot her hand back, grasping for Suho’s waist. Her touch felt molten against Suho’s bare skin. She flattened all of her fingers over Sieun’s clit, swirling them over her nub. They slid, as though Suho's fingers were slipping through water; the only thing stopping her from sucking them dry was the need to feel Sieun's climax.

“He’s coming over, Sieun-ah," Suho taunted.

The girl moaned, quickly covering her mouth as a pink blush dusted her cheeks. For the second time that night, Suho felt the girl shake against her. She clamped her legs shut, Suho’s hand trapped perfectly between them as she coaxed the last of Sieun’s orgasm, just as the man approached them with the card machine. 

“That’ll be 70,000 won please.” He offered the device to them. Suho pulled out her phone from her back pocket with her free hand, and tapped it against the reader. 

“Thank you.” The server smiled, moving on to the next customer. 

The two of them finally moved apart, Sieun offered to grab their drinks, as they walked over to a quiet spot around the edge of the club. 

“Who knew you’d be such a freak,” Suho huffed out a laugh as Sieun passed her the drink. The girl eyed her, Suho might crumble to her knees just from the weight of her gaze.

“There is a lot you don’t know about me, Suho-yah.” Sieun, instead of taking a sip of her drink, took Suho’s fingers in her grasp and inspected the mess she’d made on them. Suho's eyes burned at the picture before her, as Sieun brought the tips of Suho's fingers to her mouth and licked the cum clean. 

“Wha—” Suho blinked, dumbfounded. “Give a girl a warning, fuck.” She brought Sieun close, nuzzling her nose against hers, their lips almost touching as she spoke. “I wanted to taste that.” 

“Then taste it, Suho-yah.” 

Suho took both of their drinks and placed them on a table behind them. Her mouth slotted against Sieun’s. She moaned into Suho and for the one millionth time that night, she desired to be anywhere else than this fuck ass club, cursing the loudness of the music, drowning out the girls gentle whimpers. She swallowed every single one, a hunger completely insatiable. Her tongue slipped inside of Sieun’s mouth, tracing every ridge and corner, devouring the girl whole. Sieun’s hands wrapped around her neck, her nails trialing softly against her skin, branding her. 

“You taste like heaven.” 

“That’s so fucking cliche,” Sieun laughed into Suho’s mouth. 

“I can do worse.” 

They pulled apart. “Yeah?” Sieun breathed, her chest heaving. “I don’t doubt it.” 

“Now look who’s claiming to think they know me.” The edges of her lips flipped into a smile, she couldn’t help but bare her teeth, slipping her bottom lip beneath them as she drank in the girl before her. Suho reached for their drinks behind them, handing Sieun’s back to her. 

“As much as I want to drag you back into that bathroom right now, and get on my knees and worship you, these drinks were too extortionately expensive for me to be okay with leaving them.” 

Sieun laughed and it filled Suho’s chest with want. It wasn't just desire, but a deep ache in her chest. Suho became intrinsically aware of the possessive need to be the only one who could bring that sound out of her. A melody by which would make angels envious. 

Suho didn’t care for religion. But stood there, before the girl, who looked at her as ruined as Suho felt, a spiritual reckoning moved through her; her knees begged to touch the floor and her mouth ached to worship Sieun's name.  

The second that Sieun finished the last drop of her drink, Suho didnt lose a second of hesitation before they were making their way back to the bathroom. Inside the cubicle, Suho dropped to her knees, as though kneeling before an alter, and lifted Sieun’s skirt all the way to her hips. Her bodysuit remained unclipped from earlier; she was completely bare before her, the small trail of pubic hair glistened from Sieun’s arousal. 

“Fuck,” Suho nuzzled herself in the plush of the girls thighs. Sieun’s hand shot out and gripped at Suho’s hair. 

“Suho-yah, I need you on me now.” 

“You’re so fucking greedy, baby.” Her lips trailed over her pelvic bone. “You’re acting like I haven’t made you cum twice tonight, already bagging for another orgasm, like an ungrateful brat.” Sieun moaned in lieu of a response. 

“Have you been that deprived, pretty?” Suho kitten licked at her clit, Sieun gasped. 

“Yes! Suho please, I —” she moved her hips forward, begging for Suho’s touch. “I’ve never felt this way,” the girl cried, tears streaming down her eyes. Sieun looked beautiful, truly, Grecian sculptures paled in comparison. 

Suho doubted, but she asked anyways, “am I your first, baby?” 

Sieun shook her head. “You’re the first woman I’ve been with.” 

Suho would curse the man who'd left her so desperate. But then again, pride swelled in her chest at the notion of making Sieun crumble under her touch — to have been the only one to have her ascend into the pleasure she so clearly craved. 

Instead of saying anything, Suho dove between Sieun’s folds. Suho's hand slipped under her jeans, running her fingers around her own clit, as her tongue slid languidly against Sieun’s cunt. Suho moaned, not only from her own touch, but Sieun's taste; it made her mouth salivate. She drank, like Sieun were the nectar from the fruit in the Garden of Eden. 

“Mmh.” Sieun rutted against her. Her pussy slipping over her mouth. Suho reached further, her tongue intruding inside her cunt, nose grazing against Sieun’s clit. The girl released a loud moan, grinding against the downward curve of Suho’s nose. 

“Ngh,” Sieun moaned. “Ah— Suho!” The girl screamed as Suho sucked at her clit, her teeth nipping at her bud. Sieun was getting close, her movements against Suho's tongue lost control, possessed by sheer desire. Suho kept her mouth still and let Sieun anchor herself. Sieun was fucking herself on Suho's tongue; the harder she pushed Suho's head against her cunt, the faster Suho would chase the growing pressure between her legs. She closed her eyes, her mouth wide open and her tongue being abused by the pretty brunette. Suho let out a moan, it echoed along the tiles. The sound must have pushed Sieun over the edge; she thrust her hips, her breath sharp. Suho pushed her flush against the cubicle door and devoured her clit . She set a ruthless pace again, the muscle in her mouth thrashing against Sieun, as her moans turned to screams. Suho moaned into her, reaching her own climax as well. 

“Fuck, don’t stop!” Sieun begged, as if Suho would ever dare. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” 

“Mgh, fuck, remember what I said earlier.” Suho wasn’t able to hold back the cresting of her own pleasure anymore. 

“Oh— fuck. Suho!” Sieun’s voice was hoarse, clutching Suho, as her tongue stroked Sieun’s clit a few more times before Sieun was cumming. Her own fingers aside, Suho would have came just from hearing the way her name sounded on the end of Sieun’s tongue as though she were uttering a prayer. They shared their orgasm in communion, the desperate sounds of their breaths echoed against the walls.

Suho looked up at Sieun, she pressed a small kiss on the inside of her thigh, before zipping her jeans back up and rising to her feet. With her other hand, she gently tucked a strand of hair behind Sieun’s ear. 

“Are you okay?” Suho asked, drunk on the lingering taste of Sieun's orgasm in her mouth, soaking her lips and seeping into her blood stream. 

“Yeah,” she breathed, fluttering her eyes shut. 

Suho adjusted Sieun’s skirt back into place, and clipped her body suit back shut. Carefully, she helped the girl straighten the neckline of her top so her breasts sat perfectly beneath the material. Suho did her best to ignore the way her nipples raised against the material. They stepped out of the cubicle, and Suho ushered the girl over the counter, pressing her lightly against it. 

“I wasn’t too much?” Suho pressed a kiss over the knuckle of Sieun’s hand, the inside of her wrist and trailed a line of featherlight touches until she reached Sieun’s lips, placing a gentle press of her lips against the curve of Sieun's smile. 

“No,” Sieun shook her head. “Not at all,” she smiled. 

“I'm sorry for ruining your make up. Who ever did it, did a really good job.” Suho dipped her hand beneath the faucet, before bringing it up to Sieun’s face and gently smeared the water over her features, wiping away at the streaks of black lining Sieun’s eyes where her mascara had run. 

“I'm not.” 

“Hm?” Suho looked at her. 

“I'm not sorry, I mean,” Sieun adverted her eyes. “That you…” she gestured to her face, with an endearing shyness, “that you ruined my make up.” 

“Yeah?” 

Sieun nodded. “I wasn’t lying before, I— never…” the girl stumbled over her words. 

“You were perfect, you know?” Sieun peered up at Suho, she felt like she was being shot in the heart with an arrow. Her breath caught in her throat, unable to find the words — Sieun was just too beautiful — especially with the way a deep blush spread spread over the apples of her cheeks.

“You didn’t want me to return the favour?” Her heart almost caved in, Sieun looked at her so nervously.

“Today is just about you, baby. Hearing you cry out my name like that was more than enough. Stay away from men, hm? They don’t deserve you.” Her finger hooked the underside of Sieun’s chin, angling her so they were staring into each others eyes. Suho could have sworn she saw her entire future flash in the dark depths of her iris'; the constellations, shimmering brightly, twinkled secrets of the universe. Suho wanted nothing more than to dive in and lose herself in them. Maybe it was an irrational way to think of someone she’d just met, but she couldn’t help it; the pull in her chest grew taut. 

“Lets go grab another drink, I know a quiet place where we can just talk.” Suho paused, “if that’s what you want?” 

Sieun nodded, biting down on her plush lip. 

They left the bathroom hand in hand, worming their way through the crowd and finding themselves at the bar again where she found Beomseok, still serving customers. Suho pushed her way to the front, earning some displeased grunts from other people, but she didn’t care. 

“Beomseok.” 

The man looked over at her, eyes widening. He lifted a finger, asking her to hold for a moment while he finished up taking the payment of a woman at the bar, who eyed him like she wanted to eat him alive. Beomseok, to his credit, was a good actor — just not good enough at being able to conceal his dislike toward her when she was with Wooyoung — he offered the woman dashing smiles which she unsuspectingly fell for. She almost felt sorry for the woman, unaware she was being played. Suho played with Sieun’s fingers, still in her hands. 

“What are you laughing at?” Sieun followed her gaze toward the interaction unfolding before their eyes. 

“I know the server, he’s as gay as they come but he’s good at charming straight women and lining his pockets with tips.” 

Sieun nodded, but Suho noted the amusement in the crinkle around her eyes. 

Beomseok finally made his way over, Suho leaned over the bar, narrowing her eyes at him. “You feel guilty for concealing that he cheated on me, right?” Beomseok nodded his head slowly, his brows furrowing. “You want to start making it up to me, you can begin by handing me the keys to the rooftop area and giving me a bottle from your top shelf liquors.” 

The man gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing again. He pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose, his eyes flicking Sieun — she pull her into her side, concealing her from him. 

She is non of your business, nor is she his business either. 

Beomseok, understood, adverting his gaze back at Suho before letting out a sigh. “Fine.” He knelt down, grabbing a set of keys. He spun on the heel of his foot and reached for a bottle of one of their premium lines, along with some glasses and ushered to the two of them to follow him. 

He lead them toward an elevator, pressing the thob on his key onto the pad, opening the doors to bright white light. They rode in silence, Beomseok in front of them, not daring to look back. A habit he’d picked up on when ever he was around her, she had noted — he loved to pretend like Suho didn't exist. The elevator dinged open, the doors slowly inching away to reveal a large, abandoned rooftop, still officially closed off for the season.

“Just call up the lift like normal when you guys are done,” Beomseok said, quickly running back into the elevator. 

Safely out of his earshot, Sieun spoke up. “What's his problem?” Her eyes lingered on the spot where the man had just been in. “He could barely look at you.” 

Suho sneered, as she uncapped the drink and poured it into the two glass cups. “Just a man, at the beginning of a very extensively long line of debts he owes me.” 

“Uh oh,” Sieun laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re a scary loan shark.” Her fingers trailed along Suho’s arm, the feeling rushing along every nerve ending along her body. 

“Not quite that.” Suho smiled, suppressing a giggle, threatening to bubble out of her chest. 

Sieun regarded her with curiosity, but pressed no further. Suho almost exhaled in relief. She would rather do just about anything, than have to talk about her stupid ex and how Beomseok fit into that tangled web of mess. 

They sat at one of the tables overlooking the city bellow them. Despite the rooftop being closed for the season, the fairy lights stayed on, decorating the canopy above them. Along the wires ran ivy leaves, they intertwined with the lights, some of the leaves occasionally sprouting flowers. Suho reached up, above Sieun’s head — who peered at her through her thick lashes —and pulled at a pink blossom, placing it behind Sieun’s ear.

“I could keep staring into your eyes all night,” Suho found herself saying. 

Sieun tucked her head, inching to hide herself into her shoulder but Suho reached out, catching her chin and cupping her in the palm of her hand. “Don’t look away, pretty.” Sieun let out a small laugh, an angelic sound, really. She bit her lip, obliging Suho’s request and finally met her eyes wholeheartedly. 

Suho released a breath. “Sieun-ah, I would really like to kiss you again.” 

Sieun giggled, “you’re asking me this as if half an hour ago you didn’t just give me the best orgasm I’ve ever had.” 

“So is that a yes?” she quirked her lip, bringing her face close. 

Sieun answered by closing the gap. Their lips met unrushed. Suho pressed deeper into Sieun, pulling a gasp out of her mouth — which Suho devoured. Barely letting an inch separate them, they came up for air. Sieun's breath against her face was hot as Suho dove back in dragging her tongue over the roof of Sieun’s mouth. Away from the loudness of the club, she could hear every hitch in Sieun's breath; her moans, deafening. Suho wanted nothing but to push deeper and pull every sound, whimper. It was more than a need. She craved Sieun, it was driving Suho insane. 

“You sure this is your first time,” she said the words tumbling out her mouth and falling onto Sieun’s tongue — Suho sucked on it — Sieun moaned and crested her fingers into Suho’s sides, pulling her in closer. 

“I said you’re the first woman I’ve been with, not that I haven’t done anything before— mngh!”  Suho smiled into Sieun's mouth, her hands grasping the underside of her ass.

Suho forced herself to pull away, before she crossed anymore lines, though she wanted to — very much so — to take her apart. Suho found the strength to withhold herself.

Suho poured them both a drink. “What’s your favourite colour, Sieun-ah?” 

Her laugh caught in the back of her throat. “You’re quite something, Suho.” Warm air passed between them, a gentle breeze swayed through Sieun's hair, one of her strands caught on what was left of Sieun’s lip gloss. Suho lifted her hand pulling it away, letting her finger linger for a moment on the corner of Sieun's mouth. Pink blush coloured her cheeks, deep against the warmth of her skin tone.

“Can’t a girl be curious?” Suho asked.

Sieun rolled her eyes, but humoured her regardless, she couldn’t suppress the smile on her face. “Orange, my favourite colour is Orange.” She leaned on the banister behind her, her neck left exposed with the bruises Suho’s lips had left, on show beneath the golden twinkly lights. “The soft blends of it, accompanying the first signs of morning light, dusted lightly over the clouds. And then when the orange dissolves into a gentle pink, the shade that lives between them — that's what I would say is my favourite colour is.” 

Suho helplessly blinked at her, Yeongi was going to kill her. Out for one night and stood before her is the woman of her dreams, how could she possibly want anyone else?

"Gosh, stop looking at me like that," Sieun bit back her smile. "You know," she laughed. "When I was little, I believed that someone would paint the sky at sunrise and dusk. I don't know, maybe it was a coping mechanism for me at the time, when my halmeoni passed. I like to think she's the one creating these magnificent displays."

"That's beautiful. Thank you for telling me." Suho held Sieun's hand in hers.

"What about you, Suho-yah?"

“Nothing as profound as what you just said, matter of fact it sounds so corny."

Sieun laughed, "oh god, okay. Hit me with your best shot."

"Well, I would normally say red. But right now I’m leaning more toward brown, specifically the kind of brown of this one girls eyes I can’t resist to look away from.” 

Sieun pushed her shoulder. “Oh it's worse than I thought!” Her laugh echoed into the charged air between them. "You're truly shameless." She took another drink and Suho copied her, their gazes never leaving from each others orbit. 

“Can you blame me?” Suho’s hand drew small circles on the girls knuckle, skin warm to the touch. 

“Tch.” Sieun rolled her eyes. “Is this your secret move? Bring all the girls up here, sweet talk them and then leave them without a trace, just the memory of your taste on their lips?” 

Suho bypassed the remark. “I’m memorable to you?” 

“My god.” Sieun reached for the bottle — ignoring the perfectly acceptable, and responsible use of a cup — lifted it to her lips taking a few long swigs. Suho resisted the urge to catch the drops falling out of Sieun’s lips, leaving a wet trail along the side of her neck. 

“Suho?” 

Suho blinked back up at Sieun’s eyes, already looking at her expectantly. She glanced down at the bottle she held in her hands, the head angled toward her. 

Suho wasn’t sure how long they spent on that rooftop, nor did she particularly care. They spent the night giggling between kisses; some rushed, full of suffocating intensity, some relaxed and sloppy where Suho gently learned every ridge and crevice in Sieun’s mouth, memorising every spot which would have Sieun arching her body into Suho’s warmth. When they didn’t have their tongues diving into each others mouths, Suho downed more liquor — a futile attempt at drowning out her insatiable hunger.

Lost in each others touch, Suho barely realised that her phone had began ringing . 

“Is that for you?” Sieun moaned into her mouth. They had somehow ended up on one of the outdoor sofas, Sieun comfortably straddling Suho’s hips. 

“I'm sure it’s fine.” Her words slurred into Sieun’s lips in her, sucking in her bottom lip inside of hers. The phone rang again. Suho let out a disgruntled sigh, placing one last kiss on Sieun’s swollen lips. 

“What is it, Yeongi?” 

“Its Beomseo—” 

“Where is—” she hiccuped,  “Yeongi?” Suho straightened up. Sieun went to slide off her lap, but Suho kept her there.

“She’s fine bu—” 

“I’m coming.” Suho hiccuped again. The line went dead. Suho wasn’t sober enough to deal with what ever was happening downstairs, but she abandoned all her common sense regardless. Getting up from the sofa, she realised just how precarious her situation was. She pulled Sieun with her, rubbing her thumb reassuringly over the girls knuckles, but mostly to hold onto something so she wouldn’t fall. She could feel Sieun peer at her. 

“Who is—” 

The elevator door pinged open and in one go the music flooded back, drowning out what ever Sieun had tried to ask her. She glanced down at the girl, about to ask her to repeat but, either she was really out of her her mind piss drunk, or that was in fact her best friend squaring up to a 6ft man, screaming down at her. 

She spun around to Sieun, her head dizzy from the small movement. “Wait here.” Suho kissed her lips. 

Walking in a straight line is much harder when there isn’t a pretty girl there to hold me up. 

“Hey!” Suho screamed. Her head buzzed, but she pushed through anyway — despite the fact that she was swaying on her feet. A hand came around her waist, Suho looked down. Without thinking, she leaned into Sieun. “I told you to stay back.” 

“Suho-yah, you can barely stand on your feet.” 

“Get this bitch out of my face,” said the man. Suho and Yeongi both cringed at the spit that came out of his mouth. 

Suho slipped out of Sieun’s grasp, pushing her behind her frame and move Yeongi to the side too. 

“Fucking say that again.” Suho warned, her teeth bared. 

The man laughed in her face, Suho scrunched her face in disgust at the foul odor. “Take your slut friend out of here, before I show her how truly ungentlemanly I can” 

Suho’s fist crashed into the mans nose, she felt the structure of the cartilage break beneath her. The man screamed at her. His arms flailed around, hitting at air as Suho moved out of each swing with ease. Her head pounded against her head, but she pushed the feeling down; she reached up, intercepting another one of his blows, and twisted his arm over her shoulder. Suho braced herself, throwing her entire body weight into flipping him onto the floor. Her knee thrummed with an old ache, Suho for a moment lost balance.

“Security!” A woman waded through the crowd, joined by a man who made a beeline for the man who was still groaning on the floor. 

The female security officer walked over to Suho's side. “Are you okay?”  

“I— I feel…” Suho couldn’t hold back the bile in her stomach, it erupted out of her mouth, splashing on the woman’s shoes. She heard her sigh, before the vision in the corner of her eyes turned black. The last she heard was her name being called out, it sounded like Sieun. 

<3 

Against the quiet backdrop of her home, the weight of her actions from the night finally settled on her shoulders as Sieun laid herself in bed. Her head still felt light, but most of the alcohol had washed out of her system when she’d been hunched over her bathroom toilet for the better part of the early hours of the morning. 

Her fingers found themselves dipping beneath the waistband of her pajama shorts, flashes of the night before tattooed in the back of her mind; they played in a constant loop: the noises Suho made, the way she felt between her legs, how she tasted… 

Sieun sighed into the silence of her apartment, her fingers gently circling along her folds, then lifting them to her lips. She sucked them dry, savouring the taste Suho had left behind on her tongue; where her mouth had skillfully teetered Sieun onto the edge of her sanity, merely hours ago. 

Sieun held her cross necklace, dangling in the crevice of her chest. 

“Fuck. What the fuck did I just do?” Why did it feel so good? Her orgasm came with ease, but it craved more. Sieun stifled the feeling, pushing it so far down, it couldn’t threat to bubble up to the surface again.