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“Regect, what the fuck is that.”
Ze’s gaze darted to a soaked Regect standing at their front door, then back to the contents of the equally soaked through yellow cardboard box in his hold, then back to Regect.
“This guy was FREEZING out there!! I couldn’t just leave him out in the rain, dude.”
“No, but, like, what is that thing.”
He pointed at the before mentioned contents of the box.
“Some dog, fuck if i know!” Regect shrugged.
Ze never had anything against dogs, hell any animals on this green earth, he wasn’t an asshole after all. And while he had never been good at biology or zoology or whatever you call it, this creature, sure as FUCK was not anything remotely close to a canine. It’s entire body, head to toe, was buried in some sort of yellow fabric, save for what looked like its head (?? more like a flat square) and oh my god are those tentancles.
“Regect,” Ze exhaled, taking another look towards the entity, and back at the creature he might as well call entity too, “That. Is not a dog.”
“YEAH- well, i don’t give a single shit, it looks like a dog so it is one. Fuck off.”
“THIS THING DOESN’T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A DOG”
“YES IT DOES DIPSHIT”
“THIS THING HAS TENTACLES-“
The thing rolled over to look directly at Ze with its-
“AND FIVE SETS OF EYES WHAT THE FUCK??”
“MAYBE ITS JUST SOME BREED I DON’T KNOW”
“THIS IS NOT A GODDAMN ANIMAL”
“SO WHAT IF IT ISN’T?”
“DON’T ASK ME!”
“THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP-“
The demon outside the box was cut off as the demon inside the box thrashed, throwing itself and Regect onto the floor. He let out a pained noise, and the thing made its escape on all pitch-black tentaclds towards the living room, slipping by Ze’s legs.
“WHOA- WHAT?” He regained his balance with speeds comparable to running to your boyfriend after realizing he fooled you and sent you away to a tree to get nonexistant gold blocks to block up some gates to die without having you involved. Ze was not sure why he used that comparison. It was kind of accurate he guessed. Unfortunately he didn’t have time to add more excuses as the creature rapidly grew in height, eyes multiplying, figure slipping into shadows, forming a platform under his feet.
“Ughhf…” Regect groaned, regaining balance in his legs- leg- what did he even have. “…Where am i?”
That statement enraged Ze. He wasn’t really sure why. Copyright or something.
“THAT IS MY LINE,” Before he knew it he dashed over to Regect, shoving him off the platform. "Wait no actually where am i.”
It would have been cool if he said something like what’s in your inventory. But fuck that. Because the eldritch horror in the box flooded his mind. With vast knowledge. Wow. He sure hopes that some weird organization doesn’t wait who is knocking on his door on new ye-