Chapter Text
Sansa was both overjoyed and terrified. This was it. This was the day she had been waiting for her entire life. She was finally becoming a green.
Getting her period meant marriage, and marriage meant finally living out her perfect life.
She had been planning her wedding since she was little, of course. All of her friends had too. She’d have tulips and irises for flower arrangements, there would be a big lemon flavored cake and lots of light blue. It would be perfect, and it was suddenly becoming much more real.
Finally working up the courage, she cautiously stepped outside and walked towards the bell tower. She was meant to be in her fiber arts class (which she excelled at, of course), but no one would question a girl about to ring the bell. Her knees were constantly about to buckle from nerves, but she kept her head up high. She was a green now, and soon to be a wife. She would need to be able to keep calm under pressure if she wanted to run a household.
Climbing the steps to the belltower felt like the longest walk she’d ever taken, each step much slower than she’d usually walk. As she stood before that big bell, she suddenly felt the weight of this moment. Now, she was eligible. She’d attend the commander’s ball, get engaged, host parties to celebrate, and then the actual marriage. Soon, she’d meet the man she’d spend the rest of her life with, whether she liked him or not.
Finally, she actually rang the bell, hearing it ring all throughout the courtyard, surely heard by everyone in the school. Knowing people would be waiting outside to see who had rung it, she climbed down those intimidating stairs to the courtyard below. Aunt Lydia was already there, of course, and so were all of her friends. Jeyne noticed her first, seeming happy but also a bit jealous. She stepped up on the fountain, ready to announce that it was finally her special day. She kneeled down in front of Aunt Lydia, beginning to speak.
“As He blessed Ruth and Leah, He has blessed me this day,” she started, reciting the words she knew she had to say, nearly forgetting them in her nerves. “As He answered the prayers of Sarah, Rachel, and Rebecca, He has saved me from barrenness. By His hand, He will make me fruitful.”
Her voice was shaking by the end, but no one seemed to care. They were too happy for her. Everyone except for her sister, standing towards the back, seemed to be overjoyed for Sansa’s developments. The world seemed to blur as Aunt Lydia placed the pin on the front of her jacket, signifying her newfound status as a green. Everyone was smiling when she finally stepped down from the fountain and walked back into school. Her friend Margaery was the first to congratulate her.
“I’m so happy for you, Sansa,” Margaery said, smiling. “Now we’ll be married in the same season. I was so worried God wouldn’t choose you after the whole debacle with your family,” Margaery mentioned. Sansa didn't like being reminded of that unpleasantness. That was one of her worst fears, really. That god would punish her for the crimes of her father. Luckily, God seemed to like her more.
“I’m glad too,” she answered politely. You always had to be polite in Gilead, even when someone slighted you. You never know who could be listening.
The two of them walked back to class tomorrow, talking about wedding plans and the upcoming commander’s ball. Sansa was a little nervous for the ball. She prayed every night that her father’s new status wouldn’t diminish her chances of marrying a good commander. God forbid she married a minor commander, or worse, married one from the colonies. She looked at Margaery as she listened to her friend talk. Margaery would never have to worry about these things. Her father was one of the most important in the area, and every high commander would be interested in Margaery Tyrell. The same couldn’t be said for Sansa Stark.
Finally, they made it back to their fiber arts class, taking their seats in a sewing circle with Jeyne and Myrcella. All three girls were gushing over Sansa, happy that she was finally blessed with a period. Jeyne had gotten her period already, and so had Margaery. Myrcella hadn’t yet, but she was a little younger than the other three, so it wasn’t worrying. After all, her parents were the most important commanders in the area, maybe even in the entire country. How could Myrcella not be chosen by God?
Sansa looked over and saw her younger sister with a scowl on her face. To be fair, Arya always had a scowl, but it seemed that she was especially upset at Sansa’s happiness. Not that Arya would ever want to get her period. She’d sooner be an aunt than a wife, and had made her opinion quite known. Sansa never understood how her sister could think this way. There was nothing Sansa wanted more in the world than to marry well and be taken care of for the rest of her life.
She only had one more class that day, and it passed quickly. Before she knew it, Sansa and Arya were in their car being driven home. Their family had recently been assigned a new guardian, and he frightened her a little. His name was Sandor, but everyone called him the hound, a nickname she didn’t want to know the origin of. He was much taller than her, and he had a horrible scar that covered half of his face. She supposed his scariness would make him good at protecting her and her family, but it didn’t make him any more pleasant to look at.
Arya didn’t say two words to her on the drive home, like usual, and she was home before she knew it. Her parents were happy for her when she told them the news, her mother immediately pulling her in for a tight hug.
“Oh Sansa, you’re growing up,” Her mother said, and Sansa was sure she felt her wiping a tear from her face. Sansa just smiled as she pulled away from the hug. Her father seemed proud too, but there was a distant look in his eyes that told her his emotions were more complicated.
For the first time after learning she got her period, she felt a little sad. She loved her family, and being a wife meant she would have to live away from them. She hoped she got married to a commander who lived close by, so she could still see her parents and brothers. And maybe Arya, if there was time.
Bran seemed happy enough for her, and Rickon didn’t fully understand what was going on, but he was excited at the rest of the family’s happiness. Dinner conversation was lively that night, as Sansa’s mother talked about all of the arrangements they’d have to make in preparation for her season as a green. Sansa had never quite realized how much work went into marriage preparation. For dessert that night they even had a small celebratory lemon cake for sansa, which she ate very happily. Treats like this were still a luxury, even if Gilead was stabilizing.
After the evening’s excitement wore down, Sansa went upstairs to her room and got ready for bed. As she was brushing her hair, she heard a knock on her bedroom door. Upon opening the door, she discovered it was Arya, which confused her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. Arya was still scowling.
“Are you actually happy?” Arya asked in return.
“Of course I am. I’ve been wanting this for ages,” she replied. It was true. Sansa truly didn’t understand why Arya would have any reservations.
“Youre happy that your life is practically over? All you’re going to do for the rest of your life, Sansa, is have babies and serve some man. That’s what you want?” Arya challenged.
This gave Sansa pause, but she refused to show it.
“Well… yes, of course. It’s our job, Arya. I’ll get married, and someday, even if you hate it, so will you. At least I’m happy about it. And if you do anything to ruin my chances of finding a good match, you’ll regret it,” Sansa retorted. Arya only scoffed.
“How could I ever mess up perfect princess Sansa’s chances of a match? How could I even dream of getting between her and some old man she’ll surely end up with?”
Now Sansa was angry. Without saying another word to her sister, she pushed Arya out of the room (this was very unladylike, but she didn’t care about her courtesies when it came to Arya) and slammed the door in front of her.
She resumed her hair brushing, before washing her face and brushing her teeth. Once she was in her nightgown, she lied down to go to sleep. Sleep didn’t come easy, however, her mind still reeling with the events of the day.
Arya’s words kept playing in her mind, even as she tried her best to ignore her sister’s words. Arya was only trying to make her unhappy, as usual. She wouldn’t just be a pretty face for some old man. Not Sansa.