Actions

Work Header

L’Aspiration du Cœur

Summary:

Things were supposed to settle down after the tour, but Merveilles was always the beginning of the end.

An agonizingly slow account of why Gackt left the band in 1998, culminating in Kami’s death in 1999.

Notes:

Obviously, I don’t own Malice Mizer or any of their work. This is a work of fiction.

This is a purely imagined headcanon of how things went down in 1998 resulting in Gackt leaving the band and the subsequent conflict caused between members, followed by Kami’s death in June of 1999. I am aware that the people in this story are real, and, as such, I make no claims that I know anything about them or their relationship dynamics outside of what we know from interviews, memoirs, etc. Nothing in this work is intended or meant to be construed as disrespectful toward those who are deceased, including Kami, Atsushi Sakuari, etc.

This is also not an endorsement of any views/opinions/beliefs the band members have expressed online or otherwise. For purposes of the story, I have exaggerated personalities, backstories, and conflicts, added humor, and filled in the gaps of information with my own imagined events. I have altered true versions of events and changed dates, locations, hairstyles, outfits, appearances, etc., to fit the plot.

Finally, regarding the deceased members of the visual kei community mentioned in this piece, I have the utmost respect for their memory and legacy. Any mischaracterization or out-of-character behavior is a byproduct of the fictional nature of this story and should not be taken as anything further.

TLDR: Please don’t take this too seriously. I love this band and had this story building in my mind, and needed to get it down.

Chapter 1: Prologue: Brazil, 2026

Summary:

"There once was a wonderful band, with wonderful friends."

- GACKT, 2009

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“I love you!”

“Gackt, eu te amo!”

"Gackt, eu te amo!”

The audience swam before his eyes. Strands of hair hung damp and lank in front of his face, and he fought to stay on his feet. The world started to go gray at the edges, and he felt himself sway to the side before Kurosaki grabbed his belt to keep him upright. Gackt needed to get offstage, and soon.

He brushed his bangs back and let the chant go on for another minute or so before lifting the mic to his lips. “Thanks everyone!"

The audience replied with raucous cheers, and he flashed them a grin. “Thanks everyone,” he repeated. Through the dizzy haze, it was touching, that all the way across the world, so many people had gathered to see him perform.

“I promise that..." Blurriness crept in at the corners of his vision, and he blinked, reaching for the words, “I will come to this country someday…soon.” His tongue felt clumsy, but he kept speaking, hoping something would come out. He could hardly hear himself, the crowd was chanting so loudly. “And now… I make a promise…” He inhaled. Fight it. “We...are gonna...come back here again!" He roared the last word, setting off another onslaught of applause. He heard his name, chanted back at him, interspersed with song requests it was far too late for him to sing. He felt himself falling backwards.

"Got you," Kurosaki muttered in his ear. "You're almost done. Can you stand?"

He nodded, and the hand left his belt.

“Amour da minha vida!” someone in the front shouted. Love of my life.

“I sang you the last one already." He was breathing hard, panting into the mic, and he held it with both hands, summoning the very last vestiges of his energy. “BRAZIL, LET’S MEET AGAIN!”

The audience screamed, and he repeated the chant. “BRAZIL, LET’S MEET AGAIN! BRAZIL, LET’S MEET AGAIN!”

They cheered, a chorus of shouts and claps and stomping feet. Gackt gave the crowd one last wave before turning around. Kurosaki gripped his belt from the back and guided him down the steps and into the wings.

"You're good," Kurosaki said once they were out of the line of sight of the audience, and Gackt collapsed, the echos of his name the last thing he heard before everything went dark.

Notes:

Shoutout to all those who recorded his Brazil concert so I could get this really close to word-for-word.