Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Jay worked in the Administration of the Land of Madness, and was the senior employee 104, Manager of the Department of Realm Reassignment.

Agent Walker was ordered to be extremely precise, icy. He sat at his desk in room 414, the office of the Operations Director of Realm Reassignment, punching keys on a pale silver keyboard.

From an old-school monitor on his desk, he managed the bureaucratic chaos created by the Merge. Had the realms mysteriously collided? Had the borders collapsed? It didn't matter. Jay scanned the digital files and reassigned territories, populations, and resources with the coldness he'd been taught.

Distractions were not allowed, and with his past a blank space, save for a few pieces of information, including several from his other colleagues—including the one who he claimed knew him better than anyone else in the room and who was considered a close friend, Agent Blake Donovan—he had little else to focus on other than watching the moving platform transport pairs of people into specific portals.

As always, the same old routine never changed a bit.

This is what the Manager of the Realm Reassignment Department did every day of every month of every year. And while anyone might have found it exhausting, Jay approached it with a total, reassuring absence of thought. Jay was fine.

Or, more precisely, Jay was out of options. Jay knew nothing else.

Outside the Administration was all uncertainty, a file to be filled out, where you weren't sure what was written but you signed it.

"Have you ever wondered what you'd be doing right now if you didn't have this job?" He'd allowed himself to ask one day, taking the opportunity to see if he could share this curiosity with the Agent he was conversing to in front of the vending machine, waiting for his coffee. "I mean, I'm not complaining, but sometimes I ask myself these questions.."

The Agent Karit had looked at him strangely, enough to confuse Jay. Squinting as if he'd just heard the stupidest thing ever said, the Agent immediately ended the conversation by finishing his coffee and tossing it in the trash can. He spoke one last time before leaving.

"I think we should go back to our departments" After that answer, he'd resolved never to show curiosity about anything other than work and the Administration with any other Agent again. Jay didn't understand why, but it seemed like a weak point every time he tried to push it, only to be met with coldness and urgency to ignore the topic.

The question was simple in his mind, though. Could it be that he was the only one who was wrong? The only one who didn't seem to be okay with sitting at his desk, watching strangers disappear through portal to a realm, and repeating the same thing every day?

Everything was devoted to the Administrator, but Jay wondered why he didn't seem to care that much. He should have been grateful instead of dwelling on how bored he was, right? This was his home, his purpose in life, the best job anyone could ever ask for. So why didn't Jay feel like he belonged here?

When these questions loomed large in his subconscious, he focused on the things he liked to call "the heartbeats of the Administration". Namely, the things that gave soul to all that gray, white, and simple, dark monotony. Details his mind preferred to account for.

The clacking of the keyboards, hard ABS plastic and tall keys, pressed by thousands of fingers simultaneously, now a familiar background noise, always the same incessant symphony; clack—clack—clack—clack—enter. clack—clack—clack—clack—enter.

The dull, dry, percussive sound against the desks as each officer picked up a stack of misaligned papers, slamming them two or three times on the surface to group them into a geometrically perfect line, before being placed flat back on the surface; thump—thump—thump.

The LEDs never flickered, only emitting a fixed acoustic frequency. Extremely high-pitched and subtle, it seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. A white, electric sound, perfectly audible with mouths completely closed, their constant magnetism vibrating in the air and tormenting his eardrums with a constant pressure he began to believe was only perceptible to him; bzzz-z-zzz—bzzz-z-zzz—bzzz. 

The inevitable, harsh, and continuous sound of the tip of a ballpoint pen sliding across 80-gram sheets of paper, producing a hissing sound, yet microscopic. Rhythmic, changing depending on the intensity or force of the hand's pressure, clearly distinguishing the long, flowing strokes of the signatures, followed by the sharp thump of the final full stop or line;  ssscrich.. ssssscrich.. zzzzssshh—ssscrich.. ssssscrich.. tck—clack-click. 

The cyclical, layered din of printers, always starting with the shudder of the roller gripping the sheet with a sharp thud. The screeching of the printhead carriage moving back and forth in regular jerks, ending with the whir of the internal motor wearily turning to eject the paper; zziic—zziiic—z-zzziiiicc. 

The cathode ray tube computer monitors, undauntedly loading a new screen full of data, emitting a high-frequency hiss, similarly following the sound of the LEDs above his head. The crackling of static electricity on the glass of the screen contaminating the air around him was now imperceptible to others, but penetrating and additive against Jay's skin;  trc-trc-trck-trrrc—crrr-crrrr—iiiiiiiiiiiiii..... beep-beep.

And finally, the last element that closed the cycle, but which never stopped those sounds. The coffee's machines placed in the corners of the corridors and their sounds, reminiscent of small mechanical groans. The low, vibrant buzz—almost a reminder of the same one that was always present in his bones—of the hydraulic pumps struggling to heat the water, followed by the strangled gurgling of the liquid flow and then the final puff of moist steam; tssshh... gurgle-gurgle-gug-gug—ffssssshhh... clank.

Every day, every minute, every second, these sounds, these beats, repeated one over the other, blended together, merging, and no one seemed to care about all this sameness. As if he was the madman on duty who noticed these details, while everyone else ignored them for some reason.

Any attempt to avoid feeling like the lazy one in that building by staring at the screen, signing paperwork after paperwork, and assigning specific tasks to Sub-Agent Prentis, dissipated over time, blessing the day he discovered in the lost and found room what would later become his favorite game, Galamorph X-Post. Only Blake knew about this distraction, even surprising Jay when he wasn't reprimanded but instead accompanied into his first session with another controller.

And ever since that video game with pixelated spaceships and 8-bit music had become a permanent fixture in his thoughs, with his days beginning to feel less repetitive for a change. He really didn't have much time to play it, only being able to fiddle with the controller when Sub-Agent Prentis was on duty at the portal monitors or when the day was over, and it was stressful to make sure it remained a secret, but it was also exciting on the other side.

It was exciting that it was something different, a more stimulating activity, and above all, something that was his alone. No one in the Administration knew how to play, or even thought about a video game, and even though he was the only one in that building who didn't follow his assignments 100%, he had also become the only one with something original. Something that Jay alone chose to bring into his life. 

Galamorph X-Post somehow didn't make him feel any more out of place; After all, It never looked him up and down in a judgmental way, it never dismissed him with disinterest and it never gave him orders to follow, except for its own plot. 

It simply waited for him in the same place, at the same time, never doing anything except loading itself and entertaining him. For his eyes it was exhilarating to be mesmerized by millions of pixels, with the pitched sounds scratching his brain in just the right way, and Jay never stopped wondering why he hadn't discovered it before everytime he was playing it.

Maybe there was a reason why mashing the buttons, following precise techniques at each level, and feeling like he'd heard the tune somewhere before felt familiar. Who knows, maybe Jay was a great gamer before he lost his memory.

Jay liked this thought; it made the emptiness in his head feel less haunting, and he began to fantasize instead about what his life might have been like before. He couldn't believe he'd truly always been part of the Administration as an Agent. It went against the past he fantasized about, and also against the law to make a minor work, but that was just his humorous thought.

As the months passed, the calendar increasingly lost Jay's bored attention, stopping wondering how long it would be until he could return to his apartment, and instead immersed himself more and more in the screen. With a bit of luck, the workload in his department slowly eased too, allowing him to play for hours more.

Somehow, it had helped him face another day, with the knowledge that plot twists weren't a thing planned there, getting him out of bed with a little more of something Jay didn't understand, but that managed to get him awake without a splitting headache, or pull through the night without a single hieroglyphic nightmare running through his head.

Brushing his teeth, combing his growing hair, smoothing out the wrinkles from the black suit over him, tying the blue tie against his neck, and closing the door to his apartment behind him no longer seemed like a mental effort. GX-Post was waiting his mental logic, and Jay couldn't wait to lose himself in it.

And probably not very healthy, with the months he began to forget even that he had turn off the monitors, go to sign his exit and finally go to sleep, saving himself with some excuse of the kind that he had yet to finish compile an entire stack of infinite (and inexistent) paperworks.

Until, one day, he was almost discovered by Sub-Agent Prentis with his hands in the bag. 

"Manager, reports on the borders of the Cloud Kingdom have been filed in folder 12. There were no anomalies and inhabitants passing the portals have all been marked in their realm in alphabetical order, as always" 

"Excellent, Sub-Agent Prentis. You can go" Jay said, without looking up from the screen, he typed random sequences on the keyboard pretending to be busy, just waiting for the moment the man left. 

The other hesitated for a second, looking at him with a tired expression hidden by his sunglasses, but also suddenly interested before reopening his mouth.

"Sir, your workstation is still active. The regulation provides for the simultaneous shutdown of the terminals of this department to optimize energy consumption" I can always use a trick to reactivate the screen. Jay always returned with his mind to his secret a "little" bigger than a video game, wondering why pure electricity came out of his hands, but not really lingering over it for a long time.

Letting out a dry, artificial cough, as if to indicate he'd been busy filling out authorization after authorization the entire time without pausing for a single cup of water, he gazed up for a moment. "Sure, I know. However, HR has sent a re-verification request for some forms. It's a matter of minutes, I won't be long yet..."

Accepting the answer as absolute truth, Prentis nodded. "Got it. I wish you continued productive filling out, Manager"

Turning exactly ninety degrees, Prentis walked lightly toward the door of the department's inner office, gripping the handle with firm force and then closing it behind him.

Jay broke the attention from his desk, looking up and following the supposed Agent's figure as if there were no wall in between, depending on the rubber heels that continued to recede. Understanding from the last sound, which he had now always expected as a routine, of the front door opening and then closing again with a thud, Jay was finally able to close every window on the monitor in a flash.

Could he have brought the game in his office to his apartment? Maybe, it would have been safer, but how would he have explained what was in his hands and where he was taking it? It was riskier, but it was also more convenient for him, and no one would even come in to check if he was actually doing what he'd told Agent Prentis by now.

Straightening his back, his shoulders instantly relaxed, and with a quick movement of his hand toward the drawer in his desk, the one marked "waste modules to be destroyed" he mimicked in his head the same sound the drawer made when it opened. Beneath useless papers, paper clips that had somehow ended up there, and equally useless pieces of junk, hidden at the bottom was his beloved white controller.

Grabbing it without even looking, he immediately recognized the worn plastic—by someone he had no idea who, but it really didn't matter to Jay—pulling it away from all the junk and then closing the drawer back with the controller itself.

And, when he pressed the power button on the controller, the screen stopped displaying boring green-on-black data, instead lighting up his in-need-of-sun face with a new bright screen that flashed colorful pixelated text, 8-bit melodies now etched into his head every day on loop, and his pupils dilated without his knowledge.

[PRESS START PLAYER 1]

"I don't need to be told twice!" Jay muttered with suppressed excitement under his breath, still keeping track of where he was. But just as an adrenaline-fueled smile was forming, it was brutally slapped away.

The sound of the front door, before his office, reopening.

Heels clicked again against the cold, hard floor, only now he wasn't sure who it was. Jay didn't have time to think about what to do before his body did it for him, reopening the drawer with a flustered jerk that almost knocked it off the desk, hastily shoving the controller under the papers. Luckily, there was nothing modern about it, but the drawers had shock absorbers, so when he slammed it shut, it didn't actually make a sound.

The footsteps continued to approach, glancing around and grabbing a blue pen and a random stack of papers in a flash. When the doorknob to his office slid down, Jay's finger had already released the large button behind the monitor, shutting it off early.

He remained still, his occupied hand with the pen hovering over the top sheet of paper, gaze fixed on letters he wasn't actually reading. Daring to look up, Jay kept his wide eyes at bay as long as possible, hoping to appear surprised and not guilty.

"Sub-Agent Prentis?"

The named man had entered without knocking, simply looking around the office, unknowingly making Jay's heart race.

"I didn't mean to bother you further, Sir, but I realized I forgot my elevator keycard for the dorms. Could have you seen it somewhere?"

Why would it be in my office? 

"Um- no, I don't think it's-" Jay looked over his shoulder vaguely, searching through the mess, stopping just as the wanted objective the other Agent was asking for was looking back at him. Incredibly, in that moment, an object was more than capable of judging without doing anything, making Jay realize it was witnessing all the time what he was keeping secret.

Trying to appear casual, he moved toward the keycard still sitting in the swivel chair, slightly inching toward the corner before returning to the desk, bringing the hand holding the keycard and offering it back to its owner. Who thanked him while Jay tried to have as little contact as possible, nodding as response. 

"Maybe it fell of when I came this afternoon searching for some important paperworks..." Prentis said with a casualness that alarmed Jay more. The LEDs above their heads flickered for a fraction of a second, not really attracting the Agent attention but instead making the person who had probably caused it break out in a cold sweat.

He came into my office!?

"When did you come into my office?" The question wasn't that different from what he'd been thinking, but his tone was.

"Oh well, you weren't around in that moment, and it was urgent for me to find them..."

Should I ask more? Or should I just shut up before he remembers finding a controller where it shouldn't be? 

"Did you find them?" Jay asked, hesitantly ignoring his ongoing panic. Picking up his pen again, he fiddled with it, trying to appear nonchalant. Calm, disinterested, and everything he wasn't that moment.

"Unfortunately, no, I was forced to request them, and I'm still waiting. They'll probably be ready by tomorrow morning" the blond-haired stammered, unaware that he'd lost Jay's attention at the no.

Jay nodded slowly, having no idea how to respond but simply wishing he'd leave without mentioning any not-authorized discovery in the drawer.

Please, go away. 

The white LEDs flickered again, this time turning off the room for a millisecond, though it was long enough for the other to see it too.

The pen in his fist had been his unconscious victim, being squeezed until the clear plastic emitted a micro-crunch when Sub-Agent Prentis raised his head. Hesitantly, he followed his gaze as Jay noticed a raised eyebrow.

"Hmm. Looks like the lights need to be inspected here..." He muttered, while Jay feared the more constant flickering of the light would cause them to explode.

"Weird, isn't it?" Jay improvised, flickering his gaze to the Agent's face without being noticed. "I'll take care of calling for assistance myself tomorrow morning to check on it. I'm sure it can be resolved in a few minutes..."

Sub-Agent Prentis nodded at his words, lowering his head back and adjusting the gaze to Jay's again. The fact that he couldn't actually see them through his sunglasses made the eye contact more terrifying.

"Okay, then I can go back and leave. I apologize for interrupting you so abruptly" He slipped the magnetic badge into the inside pocket of his sand-colored jacket, walking toward the door as before.

"All good" Jay responded immediately, dropping the pen a little too quickly and folding his hands foward, placing them on the cold surface and hiding the stack of papers between his forearms.

"Well, good continuation again, Manager"

"Thank you..." A ghost of a smile tugged slightly at the corners of Jay's lips, this time watching him walk out the door. When the thud finally stopped the lights above him from flashing, he allowed himself to catch his breath, which he hadn't known he was holding, and relax his shoulders.

"Holy shit! That was close.." he whispered to himself, choosing instead to head out and close the department for the night, walking for his apartment.

However, by choosing to put that little near-accident behind him, then, his favorite video game started to become repetitive. He wouldn't have never foreseen it, but turning on the monitor and controller was becoming boring, something that no longer stimulated his adrenaline and days.

In almost a year where he'd increasingly managed to take time to play instead of compiling files, he then founded himself hesitant to even take the controller out of its usual place. Wondering if it was worth continuing to tempt fate and open GX-Post another time. Wondering if it was worth listening that looping-tune if he already knew it after dodging a few hits. Finally, losing interest in the game, feeling consequently annoyed when he had no idea what else he could have tried.

Jay didn't want to make a fool for himself too, but he felt sad at no longer finding the motivation to play, realizing how much this daily routine had dwindled to a few days a week, then a few hours, to then a complete break.

The Administration had unknowingly gifted him his favorite game, but it had also sapped his desire to play it. But Jay was happy to work for them.

He should have been, he should have been grateful for the superior role they'd given him, for the apartment all to himself they'd granted him. For the knot in his stomach that crackled as soon as he thought about his future, remaining just a Manager or perhaps a higher rank, knowing no place other than his bedroom or his department. Not following the feeling that someone special could be waiting for him around the corner. Old, with white hair and always in that tight black uniform, with the tie strangling his neck, and probably still wondering what his purpose in life was.

He could have tried another distraction by making new acquaintances with Agents he hadn't yet spoken to. He could have truly held those who looked at him with more interest accountable and tried to give Agent Etha a chance too. He could have taken on work seriously, perhaps, by taking more and more tasks away from the other agents in his department and personally taking care of all the inhabitants, to avoid thinking about it. But his mind told him it was too much of an effort, too pointless, knew he'd abandon those ideas even in the middle of it too, letting it go.

Jay didn't want this. He felt—he began to believe over time—that he wasn't made for that job. That he wasn't made for that alone. 

And if there really was something more beyond this job? Maybe something that had been waiting for him for who knows how long. Or, even if it was scarier, more painful, there was actually nothing beyond this job, this place, this void. Nothing for someone who had forgotten what he might have had before. 

Someone who forgot himself. 

And one day, purely by chance, it occurred to him whether he was truly always the only one asking himself these questions again; Having doubts about this life-style, whether anyone else wanted to experience everything fate had to offer before deciding whether the Administration was the best choice.

Agent Blake, as soon as he'd finished his turn, as agreed that afternoon, had shown up in Jay's repart, convincing him to play by taking out the other controller that had been found with Jay's, and moving two swivel chairs toward the monitor they were supposed to share. Beyond the stairs, which also served as a safety zone for anyone potentially dangerous who might pass by or enter the reassignment portals—and outside the hiding place that could have been his office—Jay had given in to the Agent's temptation, sitting next to him.

Both with controllers in hand, Blake had started GX-Post, with that never changing same little tune. Every note of which he knew by heart, playing again in his head. 

Jay didn't have much to say, or he didn't know how to say the little he had, believing Blake had noticed too.

A few moments of silence passed between the two, with only the sound of their garish exploding shots against the bot opponents filling the echoes in the large room, until Jay realized out of the corner of his eye that Blake was occasionally watching him, past the black sunglasses.

"What's the problem, buddy?" Not bothering to break the deathly silence, the blond Agent to his left had asked.

Jay hadn't taken his gaze from the screen, simply sighing for a reason he still had to understand. "I don't know honestly, maybe I'm just going through a bit of a rough patch... I don't know how to explain it" he concluded vaguely, with a hint of hope in him that Blake would understand what he meant. 

He'd never had particularly heavy conversations, much less been able to hold one up, feeling immediately uncomfortable and quickly dispelling it with a change of subject. But Blake didn't seem to mind such topics, seeming more interested in what Jay was saying than the video game in front. 

"Do you think you could explain better?" His voice had a strange tone, sounding compassionate yet superficial, making Jay feel once again as if he were the only weird one in the entire immense building. 

Maybe it really was just his problem. Maybe he was the problem. 

Jay snorted right after, searching in his head for more understandable words. "Ugh..." His fingers continued to move the thumbsticks and press the buttons on autopilot.  "maybe... The administration and all its complicated bureaucracy is starting to weigh on my shoulders" they were still vague, but they were also different from what he would have said during these intimate, weird for Jay, moments.

He just hoped he wouldn't regret it.

"I mean, I clearly owe a lot to this place, but- maybe... I'm starting to think I want to try something else" His heart pounded against his wrists and against his eardrums, fearing the other's reaction.

But he was his friend, right? Friends supposedly always listen to each other no matter what? Or maybe he'd just heard too many stories, without any practice to truly understand what friendship was like. Blake was actually his first close friend, or what he could remember him being by his telling, not even considering the other Agents too snotty and serious. 

"Like what?" Blake's tone then changed to a lower one, even though his voice was always a deep one, but Jay had no idea how he was taking his words, going completely blind. Usually, when the tone of voice dropped, it meant danger, anger, something that said someone was going to take it out on Jay, but Blake didn't seemed to have it on his face, though.

He was torn between trying to open up further or changing the subject and focusing on the game again.

"Ehm, I have no idea. But maybe seeing other realms, in person and not through portals or photos, would be something. I think." His hands were shaking the controller more than they normally would, making him even more reluctant to look the other in the eye.

From what he could tell, Blake, on the other hand, never hesitated to observe his every expression.

"Am I not selfish for thinking that?" And instead of passing as a thought to himself, it made its way out of his mouth, making his heart race even faster and his palms sweat. The plastic was heating up, almost slipping from his grip, his starship on the screen jiggling slightly out of control. 

Please lights, for the love of the First Master, stay still.

Shaking his head, he lowered the controller, the game now a distant memory. "Absolutely not! You have every right to see the world too, right?"

"Do I?" Jay frowned, surprised by his own tone and finally looking back at Blake, even though he felt embarrassed. It seemed like a very stupid question, feeling instantly like a completely out-of-touch hermit who'd suddenly been given the opportunity to change his life—And maybe, he was?

"Of course, Jay!" Blake grinned, and while he couldn't confirm it was genuine, it brought a small smile to his face, which was still desperate for some sunshine. The game was lost, but neither of them cared. "You know? I think it's time you came on some physical missions, instead of spending all your time just behind paperworks or this videogame"

"You mean outside the Administration? Outside this realm? In any other realm than the Land of Madness?"

Blake chuckled at his questions, nodding. "Exactly, so you'll feel better again, okay?"

"Sure- yeah.. okay!" Jay nodded, more to himself, wanting to keep some of that enthusiastic smile he felt tugging at his expression hidden.

And so, Agent Donovan had suggested they go on missions together, and as he had said, "Just like old times! You're ready again now, I know you'll do great!" referring vaguely to his amnesia, he'd been promised a fresh air. And even though it reflected one of the many things he'd liked to do, Jay couldn't have been more than grateful for this change.

Really grateful.

They were fun. Initially, with the very first missions, the groups he ended up in had put Jay's adrenaline to sleep a bit when they were too short, or boring because they were only inside a building with nothing interesting around, but as the entrances and exits through portals increased, the atmosphere on the fields improved.

And it was right after the most boring ones that the most beautiful of them had arrived. There had been nothing adrenaline-filled or action-packed, but seeing the sky for the first time in who knows how long had been a real treat for Jay.

Being able to walk on the grass, not just encountering walls and eventually having to think about strategies, being the master key that could give orders and confirm actions, were definitely much more stimulating, finally allowing him again to return at the end of the day in his apartment feeling more than just alone and deprived. 

There wasn't much in front of him, not the view anyone would have dreamed of seeing, but rather a simple panorama that didn't have much of anything. Or everything for Jay's mind. 

The sky was blue, not a faded dull purple, with white clouds softly blending in As if they were painted above. The sun was warm against the black of his uniform, kissing his cheeks as if promising to leave its mark in a reddish form, making darker freckles appear with just its rays.

Voices didn't hesitate to join one another, passing confusingly into his ears, but wasn't overstimulating, hearing their laughter, the shouts of children running and playing tag among themselves around the stalls, and all the other sounds those human beings were creating.

Conversations, foods, prices, the gusts of wind flapping and lifting the colorful awnings, scents, footsteps, vendors raising their voices to attract customers, music coming from right to left.

And suddenly, he was alone and in the company of strangers altogether, taking his breath away with the simplicity they were used to, living their lives, while Jay was watching them from afar like a child might look a cotton candy.

But an Agent had then brought his attention back to their mission, remembering that they were in the Crossroads for checks and to verify permits, tearing his eyes away from those people, even though they continued to live in his mind. The image before him had been captured by his subconscious, haunting him in the form of a wish that he too could be doing the simple thing others did without even thinking about it.

Nightmares had also stopped appearing morbidly another time, believing that the sun, and not the white LED lights, had done most of the work to help it. Looking down at his feet as he followed the Agents, and seeing his formal black oxfords sink into the mud, the grass, or even dirt, had been different from the same old gray, annoying, sand. The wind was the most pleasant thing of all. Feeling its fingers run through his hair, moving the ginger-copper curls as it pleased, making shivers run from down his spine to the hairs on his neck; It was the best thing after three long years of non-stop simple and direct Administration.

He always saw how the other Agents' looked at him in confusion, others bewildered, and still others probably trying not to tease him during investigations, while he often let himself be distracted by anything else that wasn't a bureaucratic matter. They'd probably scold him for not applying himself as the Manager of the situation, but Jay couldn't have cared much anyway.

Could this mean that if he didn't concentrate seriously, they could have taken away his ability to leave the Administration walls again? Probably, but so Jay would have focused even more on making the most of the little freedom he was granted.

But the more he got used to the circumstances around him, the differences each Realm brought, and all the details Jay had missed (or forgotten), the more their powers diminished in his mind, increasingly managing not to be surprised or enchanted by anything. 

For once, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Or, perhaps, Jay had finally found a fragment of his life purpose by directing as a kind of leader. Too good to believe though, huh?

And then the most adrenaline-filled day Jay had ever experienced arrived in a new Realm he never visited before. It happened a few months later, just when he was starting to believe he was settling into the normality of seeing, almost, the world like everyone else did—and honestly fearing that ugly boredom might take that away from him, too—ending up feeling instead like the protagonist of a cool film, like never before.

He wasn't supposed to act in the field as the one who raised the blaster first, but rather as the one who remained behind the Agents to confirm and modulate which articles had been violated. He had a specific role, and he wasn't allowed to step forward, leave his job as the Supervisor for the case to someone else, and take down the individuals alone.

But he had created another secret to keep when he violated his duty. 
 
The journey to the inspection site required no wheels, no engines, and no time, as Sub-Agent Prentis entered the code into the PDA, opening the back wall of the department. The usual, antiseptic hydraulic hiss sound of the portal forming before their eyes, revealed itself with a harsh, unstable, yet indistinguishable light.

Passing through the dimensional rift with the rest of the Agents behind him, the portal instantly slammed shut as soon as they were all within the other realm, cutting off the static hum of the Land of Madness with it and welcoming them to the medieval silence of Umbrasilvis.

The building before them, set apart from the main village, was an intolerable anomaly: an ancient outpost of gray stone and colossal roots, partially fused with the remains of a decommissioned imperium monitoring station.  Nature had probably taken over that building with its colors half a decade ago, judging by its disorganized appearance. Twisted branches were sticking out of the broken windows, roots had already raised the floor, trailing green trails behind them, and inside, a displaced person had been detected.

The subject did not belong to that primordial realm, having been classified as an outsider, hiding there after the Merge with the thick vegetation of an abandoned and unsafe building, defying every precaution and committing an act of pure bureaucratic insubordination.

The Agents formed a wedge, holding their ministerial blasers ready to fire, to scan for traces of biological heat among the roots. He could feel the air of seriousness radiating from the atmosphere, mingling with the strong smell of mustiness and damp wood.

"Manager," the one with the blonde-perm called, tearing Jay's curious gaze away from the crumbling ceiling, cracked like a fragmented mirror, and looking to his left at Sub-Agent Prentis. "the portal has deposited us within the outer perimeter of the outpost. The structure is divided into two blocks: the East sector is composed of abandoned Imperium laboratories, while the West sector extends into old stone crypts overrun by Umbrasilvis's roots. The subject has ignored three eviction orders and is still inside"

As he finished his communication, the other Agent did not hesitate to turn toward Jay too, staring precisely despite their black sunglasses, awaiting the layout for the hunting trip. But Jay, as he found himself looking around, entranced by the huge leaves and vines that wrapped around the walls and furniture—neglected and dusty to turn white—felt an internal tug of curiosity too intrusive to ignore and dismiss for a homeless person.

He wanted to explore that dark, absurd place alone, he wanted to see it with the uninhibited eyes of a tourist, unfiltered by an illegal eviction form.

Tightening the knot of his blue tie from his Adam's apple, he cleared his throat with calculated seriousness, quickly thinking of an effective plan to satisfy his curiosity. "The realm clearance protocol calls for maximum vector separation, Sub-Agent Prentis. You and Agent Underwood will handle the East Block and the labs"

"And the West Sector, Agent Walker?" the scaly purple hypnobrai asked. "The crypts exhibit abnormally high humidity and biological hazards. Regulations advise against individual inspections for managerial staff"

Ugh, don't piss me off.. 

Using his most professional and unquestionable tone, he stared at the agents. "The vaults require an official evaluation. This is purely administrative, Underwood" Brushing thick dead cobwebs from his black jacket, he directed his gaze toward where he was waiting to enter. "Proceed East. Isolate my radio frequency until further notice"

Executing a perfect about-face, both Agents nodded at his words, ready to head into the designated area. "Roger, Manager. May order be preserved"

Sprinting and disappearing behind a metal partition, Jay was finally alone. Turning off the main channel from his com-link, he turned toward the disturbing, yet equally interesting, stone vaults, entering the shadows of the vegetation, stringy cobwebs, and a heavy air, with the childish selfishness of someone who had decided to completely forget the existence of the Administration. Once again.

More roots were twisted above his head, as a path for him to follow, intertwining with the electrical conduits of Imperium technology turned off, glowing under the sharp light of his portable flashlight.

His heels created an almost deafening sound, echoing against the walls and columns, accompanied by unknown drops hitting the floor.

Water seeped from cracks in the ancient rock, falling onto the metal casings of old servers with an irregular, rhythmless, and inordinate patter. And Jay, instead of extracting the pad to note the structural anomaly around him, continued walking deeper, unconcerned about the possibility of getting lost.

The flashlight clashed with the gray walls and the shadows lurking everywhere, filtering the view with a greenish light, almost like something out of a horror movie. Admitting that shivers were trying to creep through his entire body would have been highly embarrassing, but there was also another sensation that offset the unsettling air, walking alongside his overflowing curiosity.

Proceeding slowly, his breath hitched silently when the tip of his Oxfords, stained with dust and moisture, stopped against a large root protruding from the cracked stone. Above the dark wood, that had managed to penetrate the floor the furthest, were some strange petals.

Reaching out with a bare hand, he plucked one, holding it between his fingers for a closer inspection. Rotating it to observe every etched detail, Jay had to blink again to confirm he wasn't asleep or imagining it, watching the leaf lose its bioluminescent pink color and then crumble out his hand.

Falling in a black dust that ceased to exist against the broken stones on the ground, he adjusted his surprised gaze to the roots once more, this time following their starting point. Moving the flashlight to the end of the root's path, his breath stopped as he saw what awaited him few meters ahead.

A tree, seemingly endless beyond the ceiling of the crypts, stood there, motionless, immense and majestic. Like the previous petal, its strong branches held long necklaces of countless other petals in the same bright color—ribbons were tied around some branches without Jay knowing why—still much alive and aware of the beauty they bestowed on the large, ebony tree, besides not having a single ray of sun. 

It was utter strange on the part of nature, and Jay couldn't tear his eyes from this absurdity, which the other Agents would immediately classify as requiring authorization for analysis.

Initially unaware of the gesture, he found himself slightly smiling at the sight before him, believing that even without the light of the flashlight, he would be still able to see the incredible fantasy of that piece of nature. Wondering if he could get any closer, or if he would get pushed back by the tree's desire first, believing Jay wasn't fit enough to look at it more than that, he had been stopped short anyway.

Beep. Beep. Grrr. 

His com-link suddenly coughed out a streak of static, shattering Umbrasilvis's savage spell. A voice, one Jay assumed was Prentis's, came distorted and amplified from the hollow echoes of the crypts, but laced with the military flatness Jay had learned to recognize four years ago. When all his past had evaporated from his memories.

"Ma-ger... you c-copy? The channel... is being disturbed by vegetation- we have visual contact- established. The subject has been intercepted in the junction sector. I repeat, the subject is-"

Jay reached out to adjust the volume, but the voice on the other end was abruptly cut off by a high-pitched hiss from the transmitter.

"-lost. I repeat, subject- visual contact lost... disappeared into the structures"

The moment the communication ended with a metallic click, curiosity changed to alarm—the primal instinct that the Administration had failed to format—prompting Jay to look around.

A shadow darted into the dark, just as his ears pricked up at a new presence.

Pointing his light above it quickly, a human figure, panting and covered in dust, ran by less than five meters behind him, ducking into a side passage before the tree.

The displaced subject.

Jay froze in his tracks, startled, feeling his heart race.

The com-link was dead-silent, the other Agents too far away, and he had only a matter of two seconds to decide: press the button and report the sighting, remaining the diligent Manager... or run after them.

But when hesitation dragged on too long, his body leaped forward on its own, choosing the second option and breaking the rules.

Posing the lit flashlight with its clip on the hem of his jacket left notched lapel, pulling the blaster from the holster attached to his belt and gave chase. Sprinting in the same direction as the subject, he managed to catch up with him in a few minutes, continuing to run as fast as he could after them.

Although the ground was slippery thanks to the damp moss for his formal shoes, coordination—like muscle memory—took over, keeping him in a balance he didn't know he possessed in the first place.

But abruptly, the tunnel ended in an old circular cell, where the floor had been completely broken by the collapse of a massive root, unfortunately for the outsider.

Whirling around to search another way out, the man's eyes widened at the sight of Jay blocking the same path they'd entered, but it didn't seem like an insurmountable problem in the man's moment of panic. Rushing to Jay's right, where the way was more open, he attempted to push past him, but Jay reacted before he could escape. 

Wrapping his arms tightly around the subject's back, Jay threw him to the ground with all his strength, quickly regaining his balance before falling on top of him, hearing the subject's breath hitch as the back hit the ground. 

Trying to get up, the subject braced his hands on the dusty ground to push himself back up to his feet, but Jay aimed his laser-gun in a fluid motion just inches from the figure's forehead.  Exchanging glances with the subject, Jay tried to regulate his breathing again, giving himself a calm, controlled impression for the other to see.

"By the all-encompassing authority of the Administration, you are under arrest for violation of the Territorial Reassignment Code and attempted escape. I hereby demand your surrender!"

The man with long, faded brown hair, tied in a low ponytail, and worn, torn clothes, stared Jay's eyes. He didn't seem at all convinced, much less frightened by the black uniform and the drawn gun, looking at him with a doubtful, almost mocking tone.

"Oh, fantastic... the dimensional tax guards have come to visit me again. What are you going to do now? Are you going to fine me because I don't have a ticket to existence?" he ventured to sarcastically with a wry smile, perhaps forgetting the power Jay had by choosing whether to let him go or shoot immediately.

Taking a second too long to respond the joke, Jay searched his mind for a bureaucratic response in the mental-manual, but didn't have time before the subject opened his mouth again.

"What? Did I leave you speechless?"

The subject shot upward with the force of a spring, momentarily destabilizing Jay with a blow to the chest, knocking him backward. Losing his balance, Jay fell to the ground on his back, feeling the wind knocked out of him by the impact, almost as if it were instant karma for having previously caused it at the man.

The metallic sound of his weapon bouncing away and finally scraping against the ground brought him back to the present, looking up to make sure the subject wasn't thinking of stealing it. But that didn't seem to be his plan, or he had second thoughts, not looking back as he started running again for another escape route.

Releasing his focus from the blaster and following with his gaze the fugitive, as his back burned from the blow, a new rush of pure, violent adrenaline took over his body. A strange sensation, a wild heat that suddenly overheated his skin and stiffened his muscles.

In the blink of an eye, without thinking of the other Agents, without thinking of any regulations, he was already on his feet. His legs went in pursuit themselves at a speed never seen by a single Administration employee, feeling the low buzzing increase into a feverish itching. As if his body remembered, as if the crackling static that boiled his blood, making his hands tingle, knew what was about to happen.

Bending down in a flash, without pausing, to pick up his weapon from the ground a few meters away a second ago, he raised it again and aimed at the man in the distance. The thought was to shoot him in the leg to stop him, or at least slow him down if he was particularly stubborn, wanting to avoid chasing him endlessly.

But when his index finger touched the trigger, he froze.

Small, bright, and uncontrolled blue sparks danced wildly around the hand that tightly gripped the laser-gun at the ready, momentarily forgetting the subject a meter away from him.

Jay knew they weren't the electric weapon's product, recognizing the crackling sound and color as the same one when he had discovered he could control pure lightning inside his office four years ago, feeling particularly furious, only to be surprised to see sparks and its own aggressive static escaping from his body. Feeling that internal heat concentrate in his palm, a ravenous energy that seemed to feed on his own adrenaline to fuel itself, Jay didn't want to control himself.

Surprised and mesmerized by his own illuminated hand, he switched the gun to his free left hand, quickly glancing around to make sure there were no Agents anywhere to label him as an anomaly too.

Breathing hard, and the man minutes away from escaping as he probably knew the whole place better than Jay, he extended his right arm straight across his chest, his fingers moving on their own—all but the index and middle fingers closing—as if his brain already knew what to do, and he released that growing buzz, aiming for the back.

KABOOM! 

A blinding bolt, blue and violent, tore through the darkness of the crypt, beyond the comparatively dim flash-light, followed by a deafening thud like thunder. 

The subject's body was hit full force by the blast, immediately collapsing face first onto the ground, a light smoke rising from the back of his clothing. His muscles twitched and hardened in loop for a few more seconds, unconscious as electricity was coursing through small, residual arcs, unable to move.

Retracting his hand in a violent jerk, his heart pounding as the realization of what he'd done hit him. Worried he might have killed the man, he ran toward the body, crouching and lowering two fingers against the vein in his neck, but before he could, Jay realized sparks were still swirling around his hand.

He waved his fingers in the air, fearful because he had no idea how to make them go away, almost blowing on them in an attempt to dissipate the popping before he could electrocute the subject to dust. Finally managing to retract his hand without any electricity, the thought of the terror of being discovered mingled with a sense of triumph totally alien to his role, almost as if he expected compliments for having stopped the man earlier.

It was... strangely appealing to have let out a rush that felt like it had been held under his skin for a long time, with a new satisfaction in clearing away some of that emptiness and buzzing in his guts.

Checking again to see if the subject was still breathing, he then finally placed his fingers against the subject's neck, feeling after a second too long that the pulse was still there, slow and probably labored, but there. 

What? Did I shock you? Jay thought, copying the same mocking humor as the man Jay had just put to sleep.

Beep. Beep. Grrr. 

The sudden sound of the com-link startled him, shattering the previous tense silence, instantly bringing up him to his feet and frantically look around. 

"...search... East perimeter clear, Manag- we're not receiving your readings from the West sector. Requesting- update on your... position for convergence"

Jay looked away to observe the subject below him another time, then ran a hand over his face, straightening his tie and rearranging his hair of which he didn't even know their state. His fingers trembled slightly from the rush and the fading adrenaline, pressing against his com-link.

"Agent Walker here. You may cease your search. The displaced subject has been located in the West sector. He was..." well... electrocuted? But I certainly can't say that. "neutralized by me, using standard emergency procedures. Send in the containment team for collection. Case closed"

Taking a deep breath, Jay hoped no one would ask him how he'd done it or insist it wasn't something he should have done—or worse, wonder why the displaced subject had fresh Lightning scars on his back. But as he continued to casually watch the unconscious man waiting for the other Agents, removing the handcuffs from his holsters to lock them onto his wrists, Jay couldn't really bring himself to feel sorry or confused by what had happened. 

It almost felt so... right. As if taking down a fugitive like that was a natural thing, something already done and that his subconscious couldn't find a hidden detail to turn any of that against him.

Only that, just when he thought he'd finally found something that could satisfy more of his, returning from the dead, ego's wishes, it all had become sadly a boring routine all over again. Monotonous even though the risks were always high over time, returning to square one. 

Repetition was always the parasite that absorbed everything that made him believe he was almost truly living a little through pieces of life, that he could have some choice for himself beyond the Administrator's. Frustration was high in his system, and he felt the hot buzzing under his skin sensing his frustration too, protesting with a force he had no idea how to release without throwing it at another living being, but which he knew would blow out more lights.

Or the coffee machines.

Or another monitor.

Or electronic badge readers.

Or something else he still had to discover he could short-circuit by just standing near them.

He truly thought, he was almost convinced, that he'd found another distraction his system would enjoy, approve. He was pretty good at working with his brain and making plans, somehow he was the stealthiest and most agile of any group of Agents he was in, and handling a laser-gun wasn't scary but a realization for his self-confidence in discovering how precise he was at aiming.

With Jay longing for something else, more bigger, something that wouldn't lose his interest immediately after a few months. Something that would captivate him and prevent him from abandoning it no matter how much he was drawn to it. Things that were stimulating, fun, exciting, and all the connected synonyms that his head found appetizing.

He didn't want to have to hope that the next thing wouldn't tire him, that it could last at least a few months longer. He wanted something to belong to, where he could metaphorically carve his name, call a place his favorite or find a favorite activity like he was born for that. Something that would make him think he was the best at it.

Maybe try dancing, feel the music coursing through his veins in an adrenaline rush, and make his limbs move to the beat. Maybe try painting, look at a landscape and try to portray it, instead of just dwelling on doodles on pieces of paper that would later find their way into the wastebasket. Maybe meet other people who weren't Agents, belonging to a completely different ambient.

Maybe find out if someone was waiting for him, searching, thinking. If parents were out there, worried. If friends were wondering what had happened to him. If that right person, the faceless one who makes him feel hollow at the mere thought, is longing for him to come back.

But all the things he could label with a "maybe possible" on his mental list didn't matter. His job focused on relocating people to the realms, whether they were from their homeland or sending them to the Land of Lee when unsure, ensuring that authorizations and laws were respected and nothing went against the Administration.

His personal life didn't matter, and with the spread of those ninja, with colors that clashed with the expected camouflage, his every desire fell further and further into oblivion.

Perhaps blaming them could had some connection to relieve the returning heavy void in his guts, rather than accepting the fact he was still working for the Administration. 

But that strange gray-skinned, blue eyed and white-dressed robot was gone, some of the ninja had somehow gotten infiltrated, and from the reports then, those elementals had reunited.

The much-heralded saviors of Ninjago were back after—as the files always told—being separated through different realms by the Merge, but without ever entering the Department of Realm Reassignment, not caring what the bureaucracy might think of them or what laws they broke, choosing not to care.

Jay, who had worked every day for five long years, had never had a real choice for himself, but those who broke the rules could have all the choices in the world. Was there any point in envying people he didn't even know? Jay often wondered that since the ninja had returned.

And then, always after this thought, he wondered what would happen to him if he had made a choice too, if he had packed his bags and decided to leave. What would have happened to him if he never ever wanted to hear anything from the Administration again, once he'd run far, far away from the Land of Madness? 

Too many questions piled up, until one day, he finally decided to listen, or at least try to answer one of those many terrifying questions in his head. 

What will happen to me if I leave without any stupid permit? Well, let's find out.

After the equipment known as Zane was stolen by the ninja in green and a kid in yellow, the Administration didn't let it go at all, almost taking it personally instead. 

Gathering a group of agents—after re-locating the equipment as it had crossed from the Land of Madness for another realm—to charge the offenders with their illegal activities, Jay found himself right in the middle of this dispute. 

He was tired of going out into the field, bored by the mere knowledge that they would lose again and simply waste time, but there was nothing he could do but accept the assignment. 

Deeper into Mysterium, where a strange Monastery resided, along with Agent Allen and Underwood, alongside other Agents too, Jay had positioned them to wait for the ninjas before the mega-gate, while he instead infiltrated the dark underground passages below, ready to stop anyone who attempted to escape through more strategic routes.

He didn't have much information other than the names of the black ninja, the equipment, an elemental dragon and a talking skeleton, leaving him with curiosity building even if he couldn't care less actually, simply bored waiting for someone who might never arrive. 

And then from deathly silence, above his head in the passage he was in, it changed to sudden chaos, with no one warning him. With metallic thumps recognizable as the Agents Master Mechs as they moved across the ground, roars he believed to be coming from the blue-cloaked scales dragon, feeling a new, inexplicable, heavy static in the air as it raised the hairs on his arms, reactivating every sense in his body. 

Distancing his back against the wall, he straightened to grasp his personal blaster, hiding in the shadows once again, waiting, only then finally hearing something approaching. 

Footsteps grew louder, with Jay daring to peek around the corner, where he wouldn't be seen without a light. Hearing the footsteps slow, he heard a sigh, followed by words.

"Everything's so dark down here, Sprite.. Are you sure there'll be a safe place to hide?" 

There's two. 

Wondering vaguely who had entered, peeking more closely, Jay was able to find the talking skeleton who was with the ninjas, illuminated by a strange, floating golden light. 

And that very same anomalous light began to approach dangerously close to his hiding place, seizing the opportunity to emerge. Aiming the blaster an inch before her feet, he stopped them abruptly in their tracks. 

Walking slowly out of the shadows, he held the gun high, then aiming it at the individual's chest as a threatening to shoot. He wasn't entirely sure how he could manage it, with her being made entirely of bones, but he preferred to remember first not to underestimate himself. 

"Attention!" Strengthening his tone to an authoritative, serious, and intimidating one, he watched as the skeleton's eyes widened and her arms immediately raised in surrender.

"My name is Agent Jay Walker! By the all-encompassing authority of the Administration, I hereby demand your surrender!" 

Without any enthusiasm, Jay held back a snort when he saw the individual still with that strange light beside in complete silence, holding her hands up but doing absolutely nothing to comply with his words.

"I said, by the all-encompassing authority of the Administration, I hereby demand your surrender!" 

"Um... no. Thank you" 

What? 

Not holding back again, instead snorted carelessly at the skeleton's complete disinterest, but he still had to continue what he believed was becoming irritating. 

"You're an accomplice of the equipment called Zane, right? Rules say I have to put you under arrest" Emphasizing more maybe would have helped make this arrest less boring, perhaps by instilling fear in the individual instead of making her keep staring at him as if he didn't have a gun pointed on. 

If I were a skeleton, I probably wouldn't be afraid of a stupid blast either. 

"You could put me under arrest, sure, but I get the sense your heart's not really in it.."

The know-it-all too, now! 

But he couldn't answer like that, or he would have lost even that little bit of credulity, lowering his gun instead. "Yeah.. you're probably right.. Seems a little silly to me. Ah.. this job is really rulesy, you know? I don't remember what I used to do before the Administration, but this is not the coolest career or anything" 

Even if those words came out of his mouth without thinking first, he didn't want to share anything else with a stranger, and his patience was increasingly running out, chuckling and swapping the blaster in his hand for the handcuffs in his holster.

"Oh, well, I'm supposed to capture you, so can you just let me do that? Don't make it weird, hmm?" He'd figured it was a teenager in front of him, believing that acting friendly would make things easier, shrugging with the handcuffs dangling from his hand.

And before he could wonder if the handcuffs he had would do any good on the tight, nonexistent wrists of a skeleton... This situation is absurd, that golden light moved and flew toward his direction, alarming him.

Taking a spontaneous step back, that light, once close, did nothing but circle him like an annoying fly. "Hey!" Demanding that it stopped floating so close to him, he tried to shoo it away with his hands, but to no avail. "Get outta here, nightlight!"

Or, perhaps, there had actually been a result. Previously, it had been circling as if enjoying itself by irritating him, only to come to an abrupt stop before his eyes.

"What the-" 

That light had shrunk into something larger, practically becoming a mirror, reflecting his entire body and face under a yellowish filter. But the fact that he wasn't wearing his black uniform, but instead a strange pajamas, like those ninjas wore, but blue and in yellow, completely throwning all logic in his head and flushing it down the toilet. 

He was no longer sure what was creating that unreal reflection of his, but it was definitely not just a simple magical light, showing him the most confusing thing of the day. Or, to be honest, of the whole month.

Uncertainty sounded its siren in his head, screaming for him to get away and run upstairs to the other Agents, but even though he truly wanted to get away from that dark place, something was keeping him there. Risking a step forward, he raised his shaking hand, wondering why that reflection was drawing his attention so fiercely. And somehow, even though it wouldn't have made sense to him to touch that light, he knew it was a gesture his brain was intrusively demanding.

When, without being able to stop first, he touched the reflection, his fingers began to tingle in a familiar way, filling the air with ozone as electricity uncontrollably shot out of his palm.

"Whoa!" Jay exclaimed softly, surprised and confused at how the touch had awakened his powers, completely releasing his grip on the cuffs and focusing fully on his possessed by blue lightnings hand. Though the sparks and statics weren't much different, when he withdrew his hand from the reflection, the heat was.

He felt no uncertainty, fearful with the knowledge that he had such power but without knowing how to actually control it or the anxiety that someone might discover it. It was simply a force beneath his chest but lighter, more as if for a moment he felt free to use them, determined to not give a damn and show his secret to the Administration in the form of a giant middle finger.

But it seemed too good to be true, coming back to earth when the distant din above in the monastery turned in his hearing, agitatedly shaking those sparks from his hand.

"How did you know I can do that!?" Managing to return his hand to neutral, using the same method as always, though not always effective, he glanced back at his still-distorted reflection, different from reality. Perhaps it was a sick joke that only that light found funny, maybe showing him an alternative to the Administration. The alternative where he could even have the weird choice of becoming a ninja.

"No one knows I can control lightning! And no one can find out..."

As if he had said something wrong for the light, his reflection disappeared as soon as it returned to being only the size of a balloon, choosing to take revenge by re-starting to hover around and bother him.

Squeaking when it brushed his face, Jay began to believe it was actually enjoying bullying him like that, hitting him against his body even though it didn't hurt at all. Running in circles was starting to make him nauseous, and he wanted to end this ridiculous scene as quickly as possible, looking up in searching of the light and try to capture it.

"Get away! You're making this so weird!"

And just as he thought he'd managed to catch it by throwing himself on it as it was floating low, he fell with his chest hitting harshly the ground, as the rays of that light weren't around his gaze no more.

He quickly lowered his gaze, not wanting to try to get up just yet and give the light a possibility to escape from under his body, but suddenly there was no sign of it. With no success and only a sore ribcage, he swiftly stood up in searching of that light again, but it had completely vanished into thin air, making him suddenly wonder if it had been real or if he was the only one who had seen it. 

Could he have imagined a light showing him his reflection, identical and squashed, but wearing very different clothes? It couldn't be. He was sure it was as real as that skeleton, whose existence even the Agents knew about, so he couldn't have dreamed it. 

Continuing to watch around, Jay headed for the handcuffs that had fallen from his hand prior, lowering down but not with his guard, couldn't help but turn around sharply at every thought of seeing the light appear in the corner of his eye.

"Agent Walker, this is Agent Allen. The stolen equipment and the trespassers damaged our Master Mechs and then escaped"

Returning to the main reason for being under that Monastery, he could only sigh at the Agent's confirmation that they had once again wasted time, as he anticipated, dismissing any response that sounded irritated or angry.

He pressed the button against his com-link, taking a breath to distract himself from the still-slight tingling in his hand. "Escaped? The expected escape rate was zero point two percent. Did you apply energy blockers?"

"The subjects used elements and magic unquantifiable in our manuals. They also hacked the Master Mechs' systems"

Unsure whether to put his hands over his head or scream at the top of his lungs, Jay dared ask instead. "Explain further. What is the status of the service vehicles?"

"They're... compromised, Manager" Despite the voice being flat thanks to the com-link's static filter, he could hear a hint of panic. "Structurally destroyed. Black smoke is billowing, and gasoline is seeping into the floor. We've sustained a level 5 property damage.."

Those words triggered an headache that raises blood pressure, causing his vision to double for three slow heartbeats before recovering. Squinting, he straightened and spoke to the Agent again.

"Where are they going now?" His voice came out groggy, asking even though he couldn't care less.

"We don't know yet. We've lost all trace of the equipment Zane. We're informing the asset and personnel recovery team. We can't work without any means of transportation"

They wouldn't be able to follow me..

An unexpected dizziness hit him in the stomach, threatening to spread up his chest, causing a gush of saliva to gulp down and his Adam's apple to rise at the gesture, brought on by the sudden intrusive thought. 

They probably won't even look for you. 

His white button-shirt—dirty by dark dust—collar seemed to have tightened, wrapping itself around his throat like strong, furious hands, selfishly choking him. 

They won't see you. Don't go back to them.

They rooted themselves in his mind with the force of a centrifuge, with the force of a nail hammered into his skull. He couldn't be seen; a single wrong flick of his figure, a slightest out-of-place detail that would have aroused suspicion or even caught their attention, and Jay was done. 

A wave of pulsating adrenaline, thick and clear, invaded his spine, shaking every limb and his heart, as he made his way back up. Ahead of him, beyond the open gates of the Monastery of Mysterium, he could see the agents impatiently pacing back and forth in anxious anticipation of when they would return at the Administration.  Everyone was distracted, making futile attempts to restart at least one of the Master Mechs. Others were raising their voices to other agents, hearing a distant argument beginning. But as he watched them, he could hear his name being sung to his left faintly, like sirens flattering sailors as a trap. 

The nothingness beyond the Monastery wall, however, was too inviting to refuse its call. 

The Agents were quite far from the main door. The sky above had somehow turned red, and his legs went weak, while his eyes found a ladder right next to the exit. Following the end of the ladder, it led right up to the wall that surrounded the courtyard. Carefully observing how wide the space was and how far he could go above it, he also remembered that he needed to keep his eyes much more carefully for the Agents.

They're far.

If he'd moved the ladder in another direction, they'd probably be able to see it and then him too, but if he'd walked straight outside the door, he was sure they'd spot him. How would he then explain to them why he was stealthily trying to walk away instead of reaching them?

Jay didn't want to admit it, but he was afraid. Mysterium was probably using some strange power to lure him into something truly stupid, something that would ruin him, but telling it to stop calling him from outside was pretty difficult. 

And like a dog following a toy, Jay darted from the Monastery's internal exit to the wall where the ladder rested. If he'd stayed inside, they wouldn't have seen him yet, maybe heard him, but he avoided making even the slightest sound when he ventured to take another step. 

On tiptoe, he slowly resumed, inching dangerously close to the wood ladder. Not even giving himself time to ask himself or check whether it was resting firmly against the ground, he lifted the right foot towards the first step. Wrinkling his nose as the wood creaked under the new weight, choosing the precise moment to complain, Jay remained still for a second before leaving a silent sigh and placing his other foot on the second step. 

With the ladder then finally choosing to help him, he stopped just before his head poked through the end of the wall. Craning his neck to look further, he was relieved to see that the Agents hadn't noticed anything yet, staring and counting each one to make sure there was no one left hidden somewhere to discover him. 

Luckily he wasn't one to fear heights, but all this situation made him tremble all the same. Still frantically scanning his surroundings, he'd finally decided he was sure they wouldn't see him, allowing himself to gaze to his right. Beyond the Monastery red roof, the realm promised freedom, immense space to run and disappear. 

He just had to climb over the wall. 

He just had to find the courage to leave. 

And before his body could do it again, he stopped short in renewed panic. Was he really willing to immerse himself in a realm he knew but had no idea where that way would lead?  Seriously willing to give up everything, to give up the only safe haven, even if it was the same one that was repressing him?

Was he really ready to throw himself into uncertain streets, without basic necessities and a roof over his head? Without knowing the future of the next few minutes or hours?

His subconscious told him to get down, give up, and return to the Agents, but his heart and body said otherwise. They were forcefully pushing him to put his feet on the wall, urging him as if they already knew something he still didn't.

The desert silence, beyond the Agents' voices, continued to call him, almost screaming at him for not hurrying.

And in one breath, Jay finally listened.

Letting go of the ladder and putting all his weight on his arms, he braced himself and sat on the wall, turning and dangling his feet beyond the other end. Inside the escape route.

Glancing countless times toward the Agents, he then looked down. It wasn't particularly tall, but the fear of hurting himself was still there, as he swallowed a broken sigh and pushed his body forward. Holding his weight on his arms, he pushed his legs forward, the air escaping from his lungs as he fell toward the ground with a thud. 

With his feet flat back on the ground, his heart in his throat, and his arms yet suspended in the air, all doubts were gone, almost as they stayed behind the Monastery white wall. The Agent, another time, didn't notice anything. 

They didn't turn, they didn't look in his direction, they didn't hear a thing, making Jay think they thought he was busy with something else, when in fact he was watching them from afar, with the promise of never meeting them ever again etched in his eyes.

Blind, suffocating panic clawed at his chest, but with a sharp snap, his shoes scraped against the ground, almost breaking through it as all his strength and adrenaline rushed to his knees, calves, and ankles. 

Go! Go! Go!

With the sky crimson-red above as if furious with him, the presence of the entire Administration behind him as if they were chasing him, and the uncertainty of what would happen holding out a helping hand for him, Jay ran like never before toward the back of the Monastery. 

It wasn't a fast run, it was a desperate flight. His shoes slipped on the rocks and dirt, his knees jerked up, his arms swung wildly beyond his sight to steady himself, and his chest rose and fell in a short, extremely elaborated breaths. 

His heart pounded against his ribs so hard it hurt, an asynchronous, terrified, hungry beat, but nothing would have stopped him, running, running and running as far as he could. And when he dared to look back, almost losing his balance for a moment, there was nothing and no one behind him haunting him. 

He was free. 

He had finally made a choice for himself.  Probably suicidal, but it was still an act of his own choosing, not the bureaucracy's.

And a smile, though imperceptible due to the fatigue in his red face, crept across his expression in an almost maniacal crescendo.

Realization hit him harder than the wind he was moving by running, raising his arms without any real control by throwing his fists into the air in victory. A happy squeal mixed with a hysterical laugh, tired but euphoric, escaped his mouth.

"Hell-yeah!" Followed by an exclamation with more enthusiasm present, gifting him one last push to run even faster. "Ah-Ah!" He didn't know where he was going, finding only new paths of purple trees that welcomed him, ever-higher grass along with mud, and the pure magical nature willing to hide him.

Once the feeling of being chased faded, his legs gave out, stopping quickly when his knees threatened to lose their strength and kiss the floor. As he hunched his back and held himself up with his hands pressed on his thighs, his breathing was yet unsteady, accompanying the effort with waves of nausea. 

Was he probably dying from all the running he'd done? Well, his heart was certainly pounding against his trembling chest, but in the midst of recovering, he couldn't complain. He was free.

He knew he was probably claiming victory too soon—it happened often to him, after all—and he was probably paying more attention to it now, already expecting changes in plans, but he didn't care at that precise moment. 

Jay was free from the Administration that was wearing him down from the inside, free from people who were superficial and too serious for his tastes, free to do what he wanted, whenever and however he wanted. Jay was free to try to live his life, according to expectations, desires, or even just taking inspiration from others, just like those at the Crossroads. 

Clearing his dry throat from his ragged breathing and his newfound thirst, he stood up straight again, or at least as straight as heated, sore muscles would allow, glancing vaguely around. There wasn't much else but trees, dirt, mud, and everything else nature could create, all of a completely different color than typical normal ones. Just as he raised his head to the sky and saw the huge moon becoming the only source of light, he thought with a sharp realization that night-time was coming and he had absolutely nothing with him. 

"Let's just hope it doesn't get cold.." He said aloud to himself, walking and trying to find something, preferably non-poisonous, that he could eat at least until he found another solution. But during his search, no trace of even a couple of berries appeared, even rummaging through bushes or in the most unlikely places. Instead, he had found a small spring of water. 

Bending down, his calves and thighs still raw from the previous run protesting, he reached out to the tiny recreation of a waterfall in the woods, immediately feeling the icy, wet touch between his fingers. 

He formed a small cup with the palm of his hand, catching a few drops and bringing it to his lips before they could fell or his skin absorbed the clear water. As tested, it had no strange taste, and the color seemed just like the water he always drank against the black rocks.

"Don't give me hepatitis, please.." Jay may have been paranoid, but even after the initial fear, when he leaned his head under the spring and began to drink, his throat satisfied by the fresh liquid made him forget the risks.

Rubbing his wet hands over his face and hair to cool down, he resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn't eat despite his growling stomach, sitting on the ground with his back against the rock.

It was when he thought he could stay there for at least the night that a weight in his ear became present amidst his worries. Eyes widening, already knowing what he'd forgotten, he reached for his right ear to find the com-link the Administration had given him, stuck between his moisturized fingers.

"Shit- shit, shit, shit!" Standing up abruptly, panic woken up stronger in his system, feeling the buzzing under his skin go crazy at the thought that the Agents might be tracking him down.

Looking around frantically, hoping something might tell him what to do, initially considering using his element but ultimately discarding the idea, knowing he still wasn't sure how to activate the shocks between his fingers. Then, the spring that saved his throat offered to be useful a second time. 

If they realize how long it was taking me to get back, become suspicious, and then search for me using the GPS built into the com-link after not finding me there, I'm- fucking done.

Dropping the earpiece into the small puddle created by the spring, he heard the object make a faint bubbling sound and then fully touch the ground, but Jay wasn't entirely sure it was dead, crushing and pressing his foot hard on it to make sure, getting drops of mud on his formal pants and black shoe. He didn't care in the slightest.

Stopping, once the voice in his head convinced him it was enough to stop, he moved his foot away and placing it back on the ground, checking and observing the crushed and completely destroyed earpiece. It almost looked like a dead insect, and Jay felt his heart calm a few notches at the sight.

"Please- tell me I was quick" Jay never stopped talking to himself, looking around with a renewed paranoia. If Agents were to emerge in the woods, and if he really didn't want to go back, he'd have to be ready with his fists, at least.

Choosing to let his guard down instead, he was ready to call it a day and find a comfortable-in-the-ground position to try to get some sleep, but the Mysterium's nature surrounding him didn't seem to agree much with the idea.

And soon, just as he had turned his back on the trees behind him, an unusual rustling of trees stopped his thoughts. Forcing courage in himself to watch back, he slowly turned his head with a terrified suspense that grew as every detail of the woods returned in his sight, eyes widening just when he found nothing.

At worst, it could have been one of the Agent. At best, it could have been an animal... who was he kidding, animals were probably even worse. 

The rustling grew louder and louder, always too close. No matter how frantically he glanced everywhere, nothing stood out, only awakening the wild buzzing in his hands. 

"Who's there?" 

And then, right in front of him, an unidentifiable tall figure, bulky, dark, made its way towards him. 

Hot lightning bolts appeared in the blink of an eye between his hands, balling his fists and helping him just when he didn't know how to call them, squinting at the shadowed figure in an attempt to appear fearful. 

Even though it was that who was fearful. 

"Right away with the defense, I see.." The figure spoke. Their never-heard voice was low, rugged but important, carrying a note of considerable confidence. 

And then the eyes were the first to emerge from the shadows, piercingly strong and thirsty red, scrutinizing him like a predator would to a sheep. 

His heart leaped into his throat, making his chest pound and lightning bolts flicker in flashes between his fingers. 

"Who are you?" Jay asked, immediately regretting his words when his voice came out uncertain and trembled, struggling not to clear his throat or widen his eyes further when the figure came into view. 

That red merged with a complete body, with a glossy jet-black coat and fuchsia streaks, powerful arms ending in clawed big paws that seemed capable of taking your life with a snap. But what surprised him most was the head, having the same shape and expression as a tiger's, with ears and a braid under the lower lip. 

Their long, white, stubby saber-toothed canines did their job of inspiring, along with the hammer behind their back, as an intrigued gaze fixed on his own. 

"Jay Walker, it's nice to meet you again" He said but didn't answer his first question, alarming him to hear his name being spoken by a complete stranger.

"How do you know my name? Who are you!?" Jay pressed his question again, clenching his fists and threatening lightnings in his direction. He had no Agents on his tail, but he didn't want to die at the hands of a tiger either.

"I know what you're thinking, wondering who this tiger is and if I'm just waiting to eat you, but that's not why I'm here" The being said with an almost amused, mocking expression, never breaking direct eye contact. "But I also know you lost your identity after the merge"

With a regal, almost feline grace, despite the heavy armor, he approached ever closer, the thick purple vegetation behind him giving him the appearance of pure composure.

What?

"I don't know how you know my name," Jay began, bringing more overbearingly the blue sparks forward in self-defense from his ambiguous eyes. "but if you're somehow part of the Administration, you're just wasting your time. I'm not going back there"

"The Administration? That pathetic, formal, mind-killing prison? No, Jay. I'm just an old friend who finally found you"

Friend? It was true that Jay had no idea who he'd known before the merge, but being friends with an anthropomorphic scary tiger seemed strange even to the amnesiac Jay.

His eyes shone in the darkness as the moon above, with an almost trusting, loyal light to whatever he was insinuating he'd been to Jay.

Perhaps it was fear, perhaps it was confusion, but his powers suddenly stopped keeping him company during the conversation, flickering away from his hold, threatening to retreat back under his skin and leave him be, unable to recall them.

"It pains me to note that you've forgotten even how to tame your strongest point.."

The nameless tiger continued to approach, his steps graceful and slow, as if studying the dinner that would be his prey. Jay, however, didn't want to be his dinner.

He tried to imagine lightning rising through his fingers, mentally scream at the buzz to do something again, or somehow fuel the fading warmth of the static as he looked toward the tiger, but his power had completely given up on helping him.

The gun-

Like a First-Master-send, Jay instantly remembered the only weapon he had in the holster on his belt, snapping one hand to his side and leaving the other still raised in the air, seeing the way he was shaking even as his gaze remained fixed on the being in front. 

"There's no need to resort to drastic measures. I would never allow myself to hurt you, Jay. Even though I know my appearance might give the wrong impression"

Making Jay understand exactly what he was about to handle, he stopped him with just his words, and even as his hand pressed against the gun, his instincts told him to begrudgingly listen instead. 

And as if Jay were the predator, walking toward him with calculated caution, a paw—resembling a human one—managed to lightly rest on his shoulder.

"The merge has stripped you of everything you held dear, every knowledge, every certainty, and every memory" His tone, increasingly steady, almost warm, felt like he was being thoroughly anointed with sweet, sticky, honey. "Yet flesh and blood do not forget. You won't see it in your memories, but you know the truth I speak of, the glory you once possessed"

"They softened you... wasted you, while in your eyes I still see a glimpse of that mighty warrior"

"What are you talking about?" Jay ventured to ask in a low voice, unable to help but satiate his growing curiosity about his monologue. Unable to remove the hand from his shoulder even though he wanted the unwanted contact to vanish.

"Before the order of all the realms was destroyed, you and I were allies. Fighting side by side in the Wyldness"

Jay stood still, his mouth slightly agape. His mind, which for years had been starved of any identity other than "Agent Walker," clung to those statements like a castaway to a raft. Aware of sounding gullible to the eye of an onlooker, he was too desperate to actually conceive that such a tale could be just an absurd lie. 

"We were invincible, no one could ever take us down. Later we were divided, scattered, and apparently those Agents found you before my nose. They turned you a weakling behind a desk, a concept that was the opposite of the strength you once were"

It was an incredible story... a cool story, to his ears. To the Jay who knew nothing but the same old four walls in the Land of Madness.

"We... we fought together?" in a small voice, almost afraid to interrupt the fairytale moment, Jay said, staring at the perpetual red blood in the tiger's orbs. "What was I like? What did I do?"

The black tiger's face became serious, celebratory, as if evoking the memory of a myth, recounting a distant legend.

"A thunderstorm from the blue. An insurmountable warrior" Protruding canines were further highlighted by a faint hint of a smile. "You commanded storms at your mere pleasure, enemies trembled at the only sound of your bolts"

"A warrior who commanded storms?" Jay muttered, more to himself than to the tiger in front of him. I don't even know how to activate my power to strike him down, how could I be a warrior!? 

"By all that I hold dear, I can help you regain that image," And the grip on his shoulder grew heavier, tighter, perhaps motivating. "but you have to desire it, you have to want to be with me again, to show me that you are worthy of who you were"

And then, under his stern gaze, the other large hand rose, emerging with an open palm and clawed fingers out of the way, inviting him to take it, a voice as soft as cotton.

"I can take away all the pain of losing yourself from over your shoulders, I can take away everything you want, I can give you everything you need if you agree to join me anew. If you help me unmerge the realms from existence and if you're faithful to me once more"

Feeling as if an hourglass was staring at him, waiting for his response before the unexpected happened, Jay shifted the direction of his gaze in an imprecise number, moving from the narrowed pupils to the hairy-black hand in a repetitive cycle.

If he was being manipulated, Jay couldn't help but applaud him, feeling the fear fade from his senses in a twisted trust, glimpsing images of the past the tiger was passing to him, dreaming it might be the pure, unadulterated truth.

There was something more than the Administration, someone had been actually waiting for him for a long time—besides Blake—it seemed. Jay had never really been alone, just waiting for something, or someone in a tiger shape, to change his life without actually having to lift a finger. 

"I can see from the uncertainty in your eyes that your true self is pushing to come out, pushing you to listen to me. I understand the distrust, but I can promise you I won't disappoint you, if you don't disappoint me"

Jay was free to choose, free in his own life. And even if perhaps the past had come back to haunt him, offering him an opportunity that would distance him from the normality he dreamed of, it was too tempting to refuse this. 

A dark, haunting bell tolled slowly above his head, like a warning, but Jay couldn't tell if it was for good or for bad. But his doubts about the truthfulness or danger of the flattering tiger were nil, his ego swelling with his words. 

"If I were to come with you," Jay began cautiously, glancing at his paw again, then back at his feline face "how do I know you're not lying to me?"

"I certainly can't regain your trust without concrete proof, but I can assure you that I can let you see that warrior with your own eyes, Jay"

"If you'll just accept my hand. Or you'll continue to be his carcass, the choice is yours.."

Jay's hand jerked weakly against his side, before he found the strength to stop himself and not let his instincts dictate acceptance right away.

"I don't even know your name"

"You're right..." The tiger grimaced, as to show his clumsy forgetfulness, too busy talking to an old friend to remind Jay of his name. "I am Lord Ras, your Master"

Jay had no more excuses. Every intention toward him had been revealed, and now he also knew his identity. Maybe this Ras was right, maybe he really was someone Jay knew from the past, someone he fought with. He couldn't say for sure he was lying without even knowing what his life was like five years ago.

Jay could give him a chance, fall into the trap, or find himself back in the place he was destined to be, with this Ras, with his called master.

It would explain his powers, it would explain the skills and agility he somehow possessed, it would explain his inexplicable, precise reflexes, and it would explain why he felt so empty and out-of-place working at the Administration, while the tiger's words seemed to bring up familiar things in his mind. 

It doesn't hurt to try. 

Looking down at the tiger's hand, still outstretched, waiting to be shaken, he hesitated for one last second before raising his right hand and joining Ras's. 

The tiger tightened his grip at the immediate contact. An almost invisible smile spread across his face, his whiskers twitching with it.

Something great awaited him; perhaps Jay could already see it, feeling the warmth of pride growing in his chest, beneath the buzzing that had fallen into a strange, deathly silence. 

"Glad you chose the right path.. welcome back, Master of Lightning"