Chapter Text
NYC, May 2020
June’s eyes are burning.
Wednesdays begin with two hours of Spanish conversation, followed by two hours of English Literature, which means that by the time Mr Wheeler appears on screen, June has already been staring at it for way too long.
It’s been forty-five minutes of his lesson now and, despite how much she loves listening to him discussing rhymes and assonances, she’s still tensed up because of the previous class.
The past couple of months of lockdown have taught her that she is not made for online lessons. It’s all too much— too much blue light in her face, too much pressure to constantly be available, of keeping her camera and audio on, which physically feels like having ants crawling on her skin.
Not with Mr Wheeler, thankfully: after only a couple of days of that hell, he somehow noticed how June was struggling to be mentally present during his classes, and suggested she’d keep her camera and audio off whenever she needed (“as long as you are there, following along with your classmates, and answering questions if I call for you, that’s no problem for me,” he wrote in his email).
Her relief had been so totalizing it reduced her to tears, only then feeling how truly anxious she had been at the prospect of yet another day spent with twenty pairs of eyes on her for six hours straight.
Mr Wheeler knew nothing about her stress, but saw it anyway, taking a weight off June’s shoulders without even knowing she needed it off in the first place.
He is the only teacher who has granted her this benefit, though, which means June is now coming from two hours of intense anxiety, considerably more tired than what she would be in class.
Luckily, this is when Mr Wheeler rolls his shoulders back, closing the PowerPoint he was sharing.
“Alright everybody, let’s take a break,” he proposes, pushing his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I’ll see you back here in fifteen minutes. And when I say fifteen I mean fifteen. Not eighteen, not twenty, not twenty-five. I know this is not your Math class, but you are still capable of counting, I’m sure.”
Someone groans out loud, probably forgetting to mute themselves first.
Any other teacher would sternly reprime them for it; Mr Wheeler merely chuckles.
“I know, Madz, it's a terrible thing to be fifteen and in school.” He tells her with no real venom in his tone. “Happened to the best of us.”
He’s like this, June’s English teacher: witty and teasing, rather than controlling and bossy. He is down to earth, with an aura of quiet, yet undeniable self-assurance that shocked them during their first class together. June hadn’t thought much of him, when Mr Wheeler showed up in his nerdy reading glasses, old grandpa sweater and threadbare blue Converse. It took him all but five minutes to change her mind, leaving her mesmerized as, instead of raising his voice to make the class calm down, he silently stared at them until they naturally got tired of talking over one another, falling quiet on their own. Then, he introduced himself with a serious, yet open expression on his face that clearly said I’m here to do my job and I’m going to do it well.
June didn’t even know a teacher could be like that.
She decided, there and then on their first day, that she liked Mr Wheeler.
Months have passed, and she hasn’t changed her mind.
One of her favourite things about him is his ability to remain composed through it all, despite whatever shenanigans her classmates might be up to (at least at first— now, none of them really feel the need to create unnecessary chaos during his lessons). He never loses his temper, answering back without missing a beat and, most importantly, never making them feel stupid for missing the beat.
This is what June truly loves about him—how Mr Wheeler treats them like people, instead of annoying children, as the rest of his colleagues do.
Her classmates seem to be on the same page about it: she sees it in the way they unconsciously straighten their spines when crossing paths with the man, out of respect rather than fear, holding their heads high to meet his gaze with a confidence Mr Wheeler himself instilled there.
His classes are a step ahead of anything June has done in school.
She’s obsessed with them.
“I’ll see you back here in fourteen minutes and—forty-nine seconds,” Mr Wheeler says. “Go get a coffee— hold on, I always forget you’re too young for coffee— go get a glass of milk. And make it a strong one: we’re going back to Romeo and Juliet’s structure next.”
More groaning and whining arise from various microphones. He simply shakes his head, not bothering to hide the amused grin on his face. “See you in a bit, kids.”
His eyes flicker here and there on his screen before he’s pushing his chair back, leaving their video call open for later.
June is quick to jump on her feet as well, not having to mute herself or shut her camera off, as she's had them both off for the entirety of this lesson already.
She makes a quick beeline for the kitchen, already savouring the coffee she’s been dreaming about for the past hour (glass of milk be damned).
However, she barely makes it there that her phone starts vibrating in her hand.
And then again.
And then again.
And then again, at an increasing rate.
She ignores it at first, dropping it on the kitchen counter, too desperate for caffeine.
Still, it keeps vibrating, more and more, getting so many notifications all of a sudden that the screen doesn't even black out in between them.
Throwing a quick glance at it, June, catches a glimpse of a couple of texts just before they are replaced by new ones, and then some more, in quick succession: they all seem to be coming from the class group chat and, weirdly enough, they’re all in capslock.
Her stomach drops: did she forget about a deadline? But no, that doesn't sound right. She can’t remember Mr Wheeler assigning them anything. Plus, June would know if they’d have an essay or something for today, because Alex would have checked with her about it, as per usual. Unlike June, Alex never forgets about homework, and she always makes sure that June isn’t either, helping her chaotic mind to stay on track.
Her heart swells in her chest at the thought of her best friend—Alex and June have been inseparable since kindergarten, sharing playdates, cinema outings, and sleepovers that morph into the entire weekend spent together.
Everything is easy, with Alex.
Or it was, until a certain point.
A few months ago, June realised that her strong affection for the other girl is something other than an unusually friendly bond. To say it plainly, June is absolutely, horribly in love with her best friend. Absolutely, because there is no doubt about it; horribly, because Alex will never reciprocate. She’s not like—that. Like June.
They never discussed it, with June barely having the words to talk about it herself; still, she’s pretty certain her friend doesn’t like girls the way she does: Alex never makes any comment about any of them, her eyes never linger, and girls simply aren't a topic of conversation between them—not that June ever brings it up herself.
Plus, last summer Alex kissed David from Algebra.
June would never kiss David from Algebra.
She shakes her head, willing herself to stop moping about this again. She’s gone through her fair share of emotional breakdowns over her doomed love for her best friend in the past few months, and honestly, she doesn't have the energy for more.
She’s lucky to have Alex as it is.
That’s enough.
She can live with it—she will learn how to live with it.
Not for the first time, June finds herself recalling a passage from one of Mr Wheeler’s assigned texts, that made her almost break into tears in class: "Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
Those words had leaped out of the page to stare at her dead in the eyes, when she first read them, both comforting and overwhelming at once.
June had to hide in the bathroom for a good twenty minutes after the end of that lesson, as burning tears of frustration ran down her cheeks. At home, she carefully transcribed those words on a post-it and stuck it in her journal as a memento of what is apparently possible, even for someone like her.
One day, she reminds herself, one day I’ll do it. I won’t be afraid to let the mask go.
That day hasn’t come yet and, at times, June feels her throat seize under the pressure of it all, the need to do this, to let love, her love, reveal her as she truly is, to everyone.
It’s alright, she reminds herself then, I have Alex. I will do it—at some point.
The aggressive vibrations of her phone, still lighting up all through her coffee making process, abruptly bring her back to the present moment.
Amidst the chaos of a million texts that are still coming through, she catches sight of something from Alex, in their private chat.
The speed with which she pushes the moka aside, turns the stove off, and grabs her phone to swipe over Alex’s name (complete with a heart emoji in her favorite color, matching June’s orange one in Alex’s phone) should be embarrassing, but June has long accepted that she’s nothing but embarrassing when it comes to her best friend.
Private chat with: Alex 🩵
Alex 🩵:
girl 👀
wait holy shit
WAIT HOLY SHIT
And then, immediately afterwards:
Alex 🩵:
U SEEING THIS??????
JUNE
JUNE?
WHERE ARE YOU
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June frowns.
Seeing what? Where?
Me:
Seeing what?
Alex’s texting speech appears at once.
Alex 🩵:
WHAT U MEAN WHAT
YOURE NOT ON YOUR LAPTOP???
JUNE
RUN
RUN JUNE TRUST ME IM NOT JOKING
June would trust Alex with her life.
She runs.
When she makes it back to her desk, coffee abandoned in the kitchen, it takes her a moment to process what she’s seeing on her laptop screen, for how disconcerting the scene is.
Mr Wheeler is— chatting? With someone.
A man.
In his home office.
But not just a man— a baddie.
And June is a lesbian.
Her jaw hits the floor. Then, it all but hits the basement floor once Mr Wheeler casually loops an arm around the baddie’s middle, pulling him close with an ease that shocks her, for she never saw it in his movements before.
Now she understands why the group chat has been going crazy for the past five minutes straight.
Barely taking her eyes off the scene in front of her, she unlocks her phone, quickly scrolling through the waterfall of texts.
Ang:
uhm guys. who’s that
Hay:
r u guys seeing this
Leigh:
what
OH
WHO’S THAT SNACK
Eliza:
well, apparently it’s mr wheeler’s snack break
Madz:
oh my god that’s a BADDIE IF I EVER SAW ONE
Mel:
HOLD ON HE FORGOT HIS CAMERA ON OMFG????
SHOULD WE TELL HIM
Sam:
NO!!!!!!
Cherry:
NO
Hime:
NO NO STFU
Alex 🩵:
EVERYBODY SHUT UP MUTE YOURSELF DONT MAKE A NOISE
IM GONNA HUNT YALL DOWN IF U RUIN THIS
Kel:
Why do you care lol
Alex 🩵:
I HAVE MY REASONS
Kel:
jesus ok calm down
Alex 🩵:
I AM CALM
BUT THIS IS SO CUTE???? OR IS IT JUST ME
Daria:
NO NO IT IS CUTE
WAIT I DONT WANNA THINK MR WHEELER IS CUTE UGH
Ariona:
NO BUT HE IS
HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE HIMSELF RN???? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
LIKE. HIS FACE HIS SOFT????
HE’S SMILING???????
WHAT IS THAT MAN DOING TO OUR MR WHEELER HE’S MAGICAL
Soph:
no fr I almost don’t recognize him
this is not mr wheeler I’ll give you a C as an incentive bc I know you can do more
and yes I HAVE done better thank u I got an A but still! MR WHEELER DOESNT DO SMILES
NOT LIKE *THAT*
Me:
Oh my God he’s
Before she can even finish typing, Alex completes her sentence:
Alex 🩵:
LAUGHING??????
CHUCKLING??????????
And he is, shockingly so: Mr Wheeler’s usual serious expression has melted into a more relaxed version of him, one with softer angles and smoother edges. He almost looks younger, with a playful boyishness to his movements and a shocking softness to his eyes, which are constantly trained on the other man, like he is physically incapable of looking away.
June is mesmerized.
She doesn’t let herself blink.
Now more than ever, she’s deeply grateful for not having her camera on, because the shock on her face would have given away in a heartbeat just how profoundly shaken she is by this scene.
It’s not that she’s never seen two men being affectionate with one another—it’s 2020, not the 80s.
The thing is, she’s never seen anyone real doing it. Watching movies and tv shows, fervently hoping those two same-gender characters with a weirdly intimate connection might end up brushing elbows, bumping knees, or sharing looks, is one thing.
Seeing someone she personally knows, from her own life, being openly affectionate with someone of the same gender, is a completely different affair.
It’s devastating.
It reveals a painful yearning in June’s chest she had no idea was even there.
It is so unexpected that, at first, she doesn’t really understand why she’s feeling this so deeply: it’s not like she personally knows the other man, and even when it comes to Mr Wheeler himself she admires him, sure, but that’s about it. She’s definitely not jealous of either of them, because God forbid, she does not want any man to paw at her chest like the guy is doing with Mr Wheeler.
The thing is, she realises as her eyes track the gentle flutter of Mr Wheeler’s hands on the other man’s hips, that this is the first time in her life she’s seeing something like this, in these many details.
She had no idea people like her could get this. Or, better, she has dreamt about it, desperately so, but her daydreaming was only that—a fantasy, something out of a fairytale, where monsters and evil gods reside as well. Not real life. The highest, most presumptuous points her imagination managed to reach, was a vague picture with blurry edges and no life to it, like an awkward puppet show. A game of play pretend.
But this? This is a high quality, 4K version of her pitiful attempt at imagination.
This is real.
This is two men moving around each other in perfect sync, knowing by heart where the other begins, because they are two and one, together.
This is a possibility, right here for June to learn from and be inspired by, for when her time will finally come.
Because it will come, she suddenly realizes.
Witnessing this scene is what has always been missing for her, and now Mr Wheeler and his lover have entrusted her with the key to a whole new world that’s been waiting for her right outside her door this entire time.
And she didn’t even know.
Her English teacher is a completely different person from June: he is a man, she is a girl. He is an adult, she is a teenager. He has a home with an office and a partner in it, she shares her bedroom with her sister and the apartment with her family.
Yet June has never felt more seen before, which is ironic considering she’s literally invisible right now, with both camera and microphone off.
Suddenly, with such vivid clarity that leaves her dizzy, June sees herself in her teacher’s place, gently pushing a girl’s hair away from her eyes—her dark brown eyes.
Alex.
Her knees buckle, making her collapse in her chair.
She had no idea it could be this… simple. She didn’t know this was something she could, one day, have for herself. Just like Mr Wheeler has it right now.
Her phone starts vibrating again, startling her out of her reverie.
Sam:
im weirdly hypnotized by this
cant stop looking
i lowkey feel like a pervert, should we let him know??
Alex 🩵:
NO
no its cute we’re not doing anything wrong
just looking
Sam:
that certainly sounds normal
Alex 🩵:
djwidjqi stfu
u know what i mean
it’s just really cute
Eliza:
it kinda is omg i had no clue Mr Wheeler could be this affectionate??
Ariona:
Most importantly I didnt know Mr Wheeler has a boyfriend ????
Tammy:
I mean, we don't know for certain. They could be very good friends.
Best friends, maybe.
Ang:
girl
are you fr now
Tammy:
Yes?
Ang:
Tammy rn
Hime:
Tammy, girl. Come on
Historians will say they were roommates typa shit
Cherry:
they're not good friends Tammy oh my god your gaydar is nonexistent
Tammy:
How do you know that they’re not just friends?
Cherry:
Mira:
girl it would be less gay if cute guy there would push his tongue down mr wheeler's throat
Daria:
MIRA—
Elijha:
MY EYES PLS
not in a homo way, love is love!!! but i dont wanna know what mr wheeler does behind closed doors thank you
tho i am Looking at his bf 👀
Jacks:
Am i the only one who wouldn't mind seeing that lowkey
Like. Respectfully y'know
Sam:
JACKS
Kel:
BROTHER WHAT ARE YOU SAYING RN
Soph:
JACKS CONTAIN IT MAN
Jacks:
just speaking my truth
You guys know i lowkey have a crush on Mr Wheeler. Nothing new here
Might be my daddy issues speaking but this is a story for another time
Elijha:
TMI TMI 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Mel:
BRO IT'S MR WHEELER WHAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT 😭
Ariona:
Live your truth Jacks <3 you psycho
Madz:
I kinda feel like he can hear our thoughts through the screen tho
Everyone stay innocent please i dont want Mr Wheeler to know I like looking at boys holding hands
Mira:
well that’s certainly a very uhhhh INTENTIONAL way of holding hands
LIKE WHY IS HE GRABBING THE GUY LIKE THAT
BRO NO ONES GONNA TAKE HIM FROM YOU CALM DOWN HOLY SHIT
Ariona:
No srsly what is all this hand holding hair petting eye fucking
right in front of my salad???? (cereal)
Hime:
i had to cover my dog’s eyes with her own ears when the baddie was leaning toward Mr Wheeler like that
Got scared for her innocence for a moment
Soph:
Mr Wheeler casually using his break to get his hands on an actual snack
I was unfamiliar with your game sir, my bad
I will never skip your homework again I promise
Hay:
yaoi pushing people to do well in school since 2020 we love to see it
Elijha:
And they say being gay is bad
Sam:
these are the most chaotic 15 min of my life guys what the fuck
i feel like i just did three lines of boys in love
Soph:
guys. GUYS.
we are forgetting something crucial here
Kel:
?
Soph:
we need a 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓃𝒶𝓂ℯ
Madz:
we dont even know the guy’s name??
how do we get a ship name without his name bro
Soph:
idc let’s get creative, come on. like a group project
Daria:
oh sure, bc those are great
Hime:
stfu daria we are on a mission FOCUS
Soph:
ALRIGHT SO
we have
Professor Michael Wheeler / unknown baddie (also known as cute guy and snack)
Hime:
very useful
Soph:
i wasn't done yet
Mira:
those are just facts
Soph:
I SAID I WASN'T DONE YET JESUS
what about
wheelcute??
cutewheel?
wait that sounds like a bike-something. forget it
Kel:
glad you said it yourself
Cherry:
guys
I have it
what about
BADDIEWHEELER
NO HOLD ON
SNACKLER
Leigh:
son 😭😭😭😭
Kel:
those are all terrible, besties
Mira:
whole house useless
your ao3 section gonna have 0 fics babes
Daria:
not if I finish this meet cute before the end of the break
Mel:
DARIA??????
Daria:
the devil works hard but i work harder 🤙
Claude:
Daria, would you like me to assist you with your writing?
Daria:
Touch my fic and I’ll kill you.
Ang:
i fear we are losing the plot here
Kel:
which is??
Ang:
look at your screen dumbass
Mira:
HOLY—
Mel:
oh so it’s time for eye fucking now. Got it.
Mr Wheeler you’re such a dirty boy
Eliza:
MEL????????????
Mel:
sorry got too much into character for a sec there
Ariona:
Mel’s not wrong tho, LOOK AT THE WAY HE'S EATING THE GUY UP WITH HIS EYES
i’d be lowkey scared for my life if I’d be him lmao mr wheeler you rascal
Jacks:
Kskdkd i can't
no idea mr wheeler had that in him
Hay:
now how do you know he’s a bottom
Sam:
Jacks:
WH
WHAT
STOP
I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT COME ON
Hay:
OH lmfao my bad
anyway do we think he’s a top or a bottom
Leigh:
UHM WHO CARES??????
it’s not like he’s less gay if he’s a bottom
or a top
anyway he’s obviously a top, have you seen his bf HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ASS
would be a crime not to use it
Elijha:
what are you guys even talking about oh my god i can’t with you people
we shouldn’t judge men from their role in the bedroom hello??
Hay:
no one’s judging?? i was just curious jesus
nevermind
(anyway mr wheeler is a top #TOME)
Elijha:
im blocking you
Soph:
I’m lowkey sad that he turned his mic off tho :(
I wanna know what they’re saying, it looks super sweet look at their faces :( they’re all giggly omg :(
Madz:
Anyone here knows how to read lips?
Ariona:
Unfortunately no
Where are those foah shippers when we need their skills
June has no clue what her classmates are talking about at this point and she doesn't bother to keep up with their frankly insane topic changes, still trying to breath through the shock of what’s in front of her.
Now more than ever there is only one person she wants to talk to.
Apparently, the feeling is mutual.
Private chat with: Alex 🩵
Alex 🩵:
JUNE PLS ARE U SEEING THIS
Me:
Holy shit. I am
What the hell
This is uhm. Unexpected
Alex 🩵:
FINALLY OMFG HERE U ARE
I CANT BELIEVE HE FORGOT HIS CAMERA IS ON????
#1 RULE ON THE INTERNET, TURN YOUR CAMERA OFF FIRST THING FIRST!!!
Me:
Bro was too distracted by the snack on his plate to worry about unimportant stuff like personal safety
Alex 🩵:
i mean id be distracted too, bc who is THAT
IVE BEEN SALIVATING FOR THE PAST 10 MINUTES
respectfully
She tries not to be jealous of the comment, because it’s obviously just a silly thing thrown there in the heat of this chaotic moment. Plus, of course Alex, a straight girl, would find this man handsome. He is handsome, June sees it for herself, with that fluffy hair and a perfectly tapered waist.
Of course Alex is into him. Every straight woman would be, June guesses. It’s normal.
She does her best to ignore the painful squeeze in her stomach.
Me:
No I get it lol
Alex 🩵:
like have you seen his ass???????????
i’m drooling like an alpha in rut
June wouldn't mind Alex being her alpha in rut, holy fucking shit.
Me:
lmfao yeah, I’m slicking like an omega in heat
Alex 🩵:
omg we match
<333
Me:
lol
<3
It is only by chance that June lifts her gaze from her phone at that specific moment.
Which is when she witnesses the unthinkable happen: Mr Wheeler’s cheeks suddenly get very pink at whatever the man in his arms is telling him, and he honest to God ducks his head down, hiding a flustered smile.
June’s phone almost detonates in her hands.
Daria:
PAUSE.
Leigh:
ohmygdd
Jacks:
IS MR WHEELER BLUSHING RN????!!!!!??!?!
HOLY FUCK MAN HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
Leigh:
i can’t believe this
WHAT IS THAT MAN DOING TO HIM
Ang:
BROTHER WHAT KIND OF POWER DO YOU HAVE ON OUR TEACHER WHAT ARE YOUR SECRETS
Hay:
I mean probably his ass is the secret
Cherry:
HAY
Hay:
Just the facts
Leigh:
the guys’ eyes are kinda incredible too tho
they’re…green?? who’s got green eyes irl man FUCK YOU
Kel:
And the beauty mark above his lip????? Alright Marilyn Monroe 💅🏻
Ariona:
Ass, eyes and beauty mark aside, can we talk about how cute they are together pls
All blushy and giggly?? They’re like 50yo 😭
Leigh:
whipped4whipped, my favourite meal
Hime:
add a side of hand holding, couch cuddles, 10k, rated G, and I die happily
Madz:
Speaking of blushy and giggly……… I had no idea Mr Wheeler had the human capacity to BLUSH LIKE THAT
HE DOESN'T EVEN LAUGH WITH US
Except to make fun of us. The bastard (affectionately)
Eliza:
no real
tell me why his eyes are SHINING rn
he’s staring at the baddie like the man is made of stars or smth
Madz:
I’m weirdly enjoying seeing him so whipped if I’m honest
Hime:
IS THAT MR WHEELER 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Ariona:
IM—
ISJDANKFDFQJOF
Sam:
I’M CTFU
Hay:
WHERE DID U EVEN FIND THAT PIC IM CRYINNNNNNN
Cherry:
omfg he was so young I’m screaming
also the hell was he staring at so intently
looks like he was STARVING for whatever that was
Madz:
Whipped Mr Wheeler realer with each passing minute #IDONTneedtobelieveitIseeit
Ang:
Wait wait HOLD ON
What the fuck are mr wheelers eyes doing rn
Guys do you see it
Elijha:
holy shit he lowkey looks like a puppy??????
Soph:
im crying WHAT IS THE BADDIE EVEN TELLING HIM TO REDUCE HIM TO THAT
Sam:
bro this is more intimate than seeing him naked
Madz:
SAM NO
Kel:
UGH SHUT UP SAM
Mira:
thank you Sam, now I have to bleach my eyes
Jacks:
this meal was cooked for me, I’m so grateful
Daria:
JACKS PLS NOT IN PUBLIC 😭
Mel:
OH GOD HE’S GETTING EVEN MORE RED IN THE FACE WHATS GOING ON
Eliza:
MY GOD MR WHEELER IS A SCHOOL GIRL 😭😭😭
#oneofus
Hay:
this is insane his face is reaching a shade of red my eyes can't even process 😭
Eliza:
I can’t believe this man has Mr Wheeler ON A LEASH
His power is insane
Mel:
*innate
Eliza:
???
Mel:
nvm
June’s classmates are right, though—who is this man?
It’s like witnessing an unfiltered version of Mr Wheeler, the quintessential essence of who he is as a person. June sees it in his unguarded expression as he comfortably chatters away with his partner, completely unbothered by the flush coloring his own cheekbones.
That, she realises, is the face of a man who’s aware his partner has seen every possible version of him and stayed through it all, making him entirely confident about the love he gives and the love he receives.
It fervently makes June want to be able to do the same. To reach a point in a relationship with another person, another woman, where she won’t have to think about how to act, move, or breathe, because her partner would know everything about her already.
She used to feel like that, in the past. Up till a few months ago, she was utterly herself around Alex, free of any worry. Then, she realised how in love she is with her, and things started to shift, even though that was exactly what June was trying to prevent, desperate to not give anything of her affection away.
As she stares at the way the two men on her screen touch each other with ease, she wonders if this is what she looks like with Alex— if Alex looks like anything like this, with her.
For the first time ever, she finds herself being dangerously attracted to the positive answer: she wants people to look at her and Alex and see what she feels for her.
Still reeling from the realisation, June greedily takes in the gentleness with which Mr Wheeler threads his fingers through the other man’s hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him in with intention.
And then—he kisses him.
On the lips.
Cherry:
OMFG THE Y
KISSIN?”(£&(&”)££?”
Eliza:
KISS OMG
Daria:
SHIT OMG HELLOOOOOOO
Mira:
Ariona:
THE RATING OF THIS LESSON JUST INCREASED HOLY FUCK
EVERYBODY DOWN
Madz:
OHMY GOD THEYRE SO CUTE IM GONNA DIE
Jacks:
THE GUY’S HANDS ON MR WHEELERS FACE FUCK ME THATS SO SWEET
Hay:
THEY’RE BUMPING NOSES I NEED TO DIE
Daria:
IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY ABOUT A KISS IM NOT INVOLVED IN OH MYGOD
Alex 🩵:
LOVE IS REAL OHMY GO D
Leigh:
TODAYS LESSON BE LIKE
June puts her phone down, unable to tear her gaze away from the lovers in front of her anyway.
The kiss is a chaste touch, lasting a couple of breaths only, yet the affection in both men’s soft smiles is unbearably obvious, making her ache.
I want that, she finds herself thinking, with a fierceness that leaves her trembling.
And the thing is, she can have it, she knows now, because others before her have gotten it too: men like Mr Wheeler and his partner. Women like June herself. They made it. They got what they wanted, what they deserved, who they deserved. They took what was theirs and held it tight against their chests, quite literally fighting to keep it there, where it belonged, and the fruit of their efforts is now as beautiful and luminous as the late afternoon sunshine— warm, golden. Real. Reachable, just a breath away.
Mr Wheeler’s caresses on his partner’s hip have expanded the edges of her reality: suddenly, the world is ten times bigger. Suddenly, there’s space for June in it too. Or better—there has always been space, she sees it now, but before today she hadn’t known. Her teacher and his partner have unveiled that space for her, showing her that she can be there too, that she deserves it.
And June wants to be in it, desperately so, after months of trying to ignore it.
Finally, as their break comes to an end, Mr Wheeler parts from his lover with what looks like a loud kiss on his cheek, which makes the man laugh with his entire face, scrunched up and joyful. He reciprocates by playfully ruffling the hair at the back of Mr Wheeler’s head, probably not to mess it up too much, as he still has to show up looking presentable for the rest of the hour.
Exactly two minutes before resuming their lesson, Mr Wheeler’s partner disappears out of frame, and June watches in real time how the unguarded version of her teacher morphs back into that controlled persona she’s familiar with, hiding away the ease from a moment ago.
It saddens her immensely—he shouldn’t have to do it. Sure, it’s great to keep one’s personal and professional lives separated, but not if you have to put a mask on when you shift between roles.
At 11:45AM on the dot, Mr Wheeler switches his audio on.
“Alright, everybody, let’s go back to—” His eyebrows shoot upwards, taking the sight before him. “Wow. I don’t think it ever happened that everyone was back on time after a break. Are you guys alright? Are you getting sick or something?”
Oh, June realizes with a sinking feeling, he has no clue.
He stares intensely at the screen, his gaze jumping from one corner to the other, probably scanning each of their faces. “Is everyone doing alright? Half of you look like you just saw a ghost and the other half looks like you just ran a marathon in your living room."
Someone giggles nervously, whilst someone else seems to be choking on their own spit.
“It’s fine, Mr Wheeler," Mel thankfully peeps up when no one else volunteers.
He doesn't look convinced.
“Are you sure? You guys know you can tell me if anything happened, even if it’s not strictly lesson related. I don’t mind, as long as it is something you actually care about.”
June can’t decide if she wants him to find out what just happened, or not. A part of her would love to reach through the screen and hug him, for as terribly awkward that would surely be, between June’s teenage clumsiness and Mr Wheeler’s famous stiffness in receiving compliments.
The other part of her, however, wants to keep this moment safe, not to make Mr Wheeler embarrassed, as she strongly suspects he would feel.
“Thank you, Mr Wheeler,” Jacks adds, “that’s very kind of you to say.”
He shuffles a hand in the air in a dismissive gesture.
"Of course. Desperate times call for desperate measures such as talking to your teacher, right?” He offers a smile. “Well then, if you’re all sure you are doing fine, we can get back to our lesson. Anyone wants to tell me what we went over before the break?”
At the mention of the break, snickers arise.
June tenses up.
Mr Wheeler’s eyes narrow dangerously. Somehow, even through the digital barrier, June feels his intense gaze on her skin.
“You are all acting weirder than normal,” he says. “What’s going on here? I’m going to ask only once. Please don’t act like everything’s okay, I can see it’s not.”
Then, in true Mr Wheeler style, he falls silent, leaving them the time and space to explain themselves.
“It’s just…” Mira haltingly starts. “I don’t wanna make you feel awkward, Mr Wheeler, but, uhm…”
Luckily, Elijha steps in: “you kind of left your camera on during the break?”
There’s a moment of perfect stillness then, where June is sure everyone is holding their breaths.
Then, it seems to register all at once.
“Oh.” Mr Wheeler says, eyes going wide. “Oh.”
He exhales deeply, his shoulders somewhat sagging down.
Then, he takes his glasses off, pushing a hand in his hair and messing it up.
“Well. I could have sworn I switched it off, but I must have forgotten and lowered the brightness of my screen only, or something, I’m not even sure, honestly,” he says, eyes fixed unseeingly somewhere out of frame, “which is very weird, I mean, I should have noticed I left it on at least once I got back here and switched everything on again, right? But I didn’t, not really, and I know you guys wouldn’t lie, not about this, you’re all too smart to create unnecessary chaos, and—”
Oh my God, Jude realises, he’s blabbing.
It’s wild to witness: during the past seven months, June never saw him acting like this once. Not on his first day, not on parents-teachers meetings, not on assemblies with public speaking involved.
He is nervous, she realises, feeling a bit sick to her stomach.
“Well, then, I guess you all saw—that. Him.” Despite the not so ideal situation, Mr Wheeler’s mouth quirks up in a hint of a smile at the mention of his partner.
Then, it is like something foreign takes over his face and body: June watches as he straightens in his chair, his expression turning icy cold, unusually so.
“I apologise for what you all had to see.” He says, with an absent, almost robotic voice.
June’s blood turns cold.
What does he mean apologise? Why should he? He has nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all. If anything, June should be thanking him right now—she would, if she’d be brave enough.
“I shouldn’t have let the camera on, and made you watch that,” Mr Wheeler goes on, swallowing hard, like he’s forcing himself to push down something disgusting. “It was entirely my fault and I apologise to all of you for it.”
It’s clear from his emotionless voice and frozen expression that he doesn't agree with his own words, speaking them not because he believes them, but because someone else put them there.
June twists her hands in her lap, heart running uncomfortably in her chest.
“You shouldn’t have seen any of that,” Mr Wheeler concludes, with a heavy exhale. “I’m sorry about that.”
Nobody dares speaking for a long moment.
June is paralysed by the whiplash of what just happened, going from boundless joy and perhaps the most important realisation of her life, to—this.
It’s like having all of what she just saw being brutally erased from her own eyes.
“I mean…” Hay tentatively breaks the silence after a while. “I mean—it was nothing bad?”
“Yeah,” Soph eagerly nods, “you were taking a break. We all were.”
“Yeah,” Ang adds with an encouraging smile, “it’s alright, Mr Wheeler. I was also talking to my boyfriend behind the camera.”
June wants to say something.
She is dying to say something, but if she opens her mouth she’ll cry, and if she’ll cry, everyone will know, and—
And what, exactly?
Isn’t this what she just realised wanting? The exact thing she’s been waiting for for months, perhaps longer?
Her thoughts go, once again, to the quote in her journal, and to people like her, who spent their energies writing about this, talking about this. She thinks about community and the struggles others before her have gone through, still go through every day. She thinks about secret codes and languages created by people like her for people like her and Mr Wheeler and his partner.
June thinks about herself, still in the closet except for her sister, even though she’s been dying to let others know about her way of loving.
She thinks about how, one day, she will make it where Mr Wheeler is: in the arms of her beloved, with no space left for ignorant judgements.
Before she can overthink it, June is moving, grabbing what she needs from her desk drawer, and wearing it.
Then, with shaky hands, she switches her camera on, for the first time in two months of online lessons with Mr Wheeler.
She clearly sees Alex’s eyes widen in surprise in her little square on the screen, as well as Mr Wheeler’s gaze flickering to a different area of his laptop and staying there, unmoving.
June takes a deep breath.
Even if she is not yet brave enough to talk about it, she can still communicate, using the magical language that has been gifted to her by her community for moments like this.
In her mind’s eyes, she sees an upside down pink triangle.
She sees a green carnation.
She sees a set of carabiners, and colorful bandanas worn in specific areas of your body, meant to signify something only you and those like you have the necessary alphabet to decipher.
She thinks about the courageous men and women who created these alphabets to safely look for others like them—if anything, she owes it to them to be brave, even a fraction of what they’ve been.
With shaky movements, she places both elbows on her desk. Then, she lifts her hands under her chin, making sure her wrists are visible in the frame.
Finally, she starts playing with her rainbow bracelet.
Perhaps it is merely a wishful illusion of her mind, but she swears she can hear Mr Wheeler’s sharp intake of breath through the speaker.
The pixels shaping her teacher’s face quickly shuffle around, showing Mr Wheeler’s expressive eyebrows arching up his forehead. Then, he blinks rapidly, almost like he’s fighting tears back.
Compared to this man, June is nothing but a child.
Yet she is like him, and he is like her, and June is like his partner, and Mr Wheeler’s partner is like him, and the three of them are like millions of other beautiful people scattered everywhere in the world, and all of them are connected by the kind of love and pain they safely guard in their chests, day and night, every instant of their lives.
Through it all, Mr Wheeler's eyes remain firmly fixed on the same spot on the screen, which June feels like a comforting squeeze on her shoulder.
She smiles, both at him, Alex, and herself, before switching her camera off.
It is like a spell breaks.
Mr Wheeler blinks, then hastily pushes himself away from his laptop, taking his reading glasses off and letting them drop onto the desk. He passes a hand over his face, clearing his throat.
“Well,” he says, his normally steady voice wobbling with emotions, “I wasn’t expecting our lesson to turn out like this.”
He takes a deep breath, and some of the tension melts off his shoulders.
June breaths a little easier herself.
“You’re great kids, you know? All of you.” Mr Wheeler says, staring earnestly at his camera. “You're a pain in the butt, every single day, no exception,” some of June’s classmates chuckle, though somewhat wetly, “but you're good people.”
He takes another deep breath, nibbling at his bottom lip as he focuses on what to say next.
“Look—I want to remind you all that I’m always available during my office hours, not only for school-related discussions. Especially now, these days, in our country, with everything that’s going on here and in the rest of the world,” he sighs, obvious worry radiating off him. “Life is weird right now, and kinda hard. Harder than it should be for kids your age. But it doesn’t have to be that hard, you know? If there’s anything that’s bothering you, we have the student counselor, which is an amazing service.” His eyebrows pinch upwards, in an almost pleading expression: “but I’m also here. And perhaps you don't want to talk to your English teacher, which I totally get, it’s weird, it’s awkward! But it is an option nevertheless."
Despite him falling silent for a moment, no one dares to make a sound, the entire class hanging from Mr Wheeler’s every word, caught under the spell of his honesty.
“If you want, or need to come to me and talk about anything, and I mean anything,” he emphasises it, eyes almost pleading, “please do. Come to me. Or go to a friend, anyone. Talking is good. God knows I was the king of not talking about stuff that needed to be discussed when I was your age. I was a mess,” he smiles self-deprecatingly, “I mean, I still am a mess, probably. But I do talk, now. Someone taught me how to do it, when I barely deserved them—him.” His face softens impossibly at the mention of who June knows being the man from earlier.
“Things get less complicated, once you push them out of you,” Mr Wheeler continues, “it’s scary as hell to do it, I know that. But it’s worth it. And one last thing,” he looks at them through the camera: “you are good kids, all of you. And you’re young, God, so young, with so much time ahead of you.” He’s moving his hands around as he speaks, clearly taken in the topic, wanting them to understand what he’s saying. “It’s going to be more than enough, trust me. Even though it might not seem like it right now. Even though it might feel like you aren't where you should be yet, or that you ruined things with someone you care about—you didn’t. I promise, you didn’t. You’ll make it where you’re supposed to be, at the right time. I swear.”
Everyone remains perfectly silent for a moment.
Then, comes a loud blowing of nose from one of the squares on screen, breaking the stillness. Mr Wheeler chuckles wetly, his expression relaxing.
“Well, this is everything I wanted to say.” He concludes, pushing his glasses back on his face. “Now, we really need to—”
“Thank you, Mr Wheeler.”
This is when June’s tears finally spill over her cheeks.
Alex thanking their teacher for the words June felt in her own chest is enough to make her lose it, abruptly so.
Then, another classmate of theirs reiterates Alex’s words, and then someone else does the same, and suddenly everyone is doing it, in a heartfelt chorus of Thank you’s, and Thank you, Mr Wheeler’s, and That was really nice, Mr Wheeler, that make the teacher’s eyes go wide and watery, jumping here and there on the screen, following all of their voices.
June watches as a flush rises from Mr Wheeler’s throat, and he suddenly squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head.
“Oh, shut up,” he says, voice thick with emotions. “You’re the worst. Ugh.”
“Nah,” Eliza says, in a lighter tone, “you love us.”
Mr Wheeler doesn’t deny it.
With that said, the tension eases.
Not for June, though.
She fails to register a single word of what Mr Wheeler or anyone else says for the remainder of the lesson, too shaken by everything she just experienced.
Her mind keeps going back to the way Mr Wheeler’s partner had playfully pushed at his shoulder before pulling him back to leave a tender kiss to his temple; she sees again the sudden softness in her teacher’s features when her companion was in his arms, like his muscles relaxed simply by having him close; she recalls their easy, uncomplicated touches, how right it looked for them to be around each other.
She thinks, once again, about what she wants for herself.
With shaky hands, she grabs her phone.
Private chat with: Alex 🩵
Me:
Hey, btw
You wanna go get ice cream after class? We can debrief what we just saw
Alex 🩵:
😍 lets do that!!
Me:
Cool :)
Alex 🩵:
cool :)
see u later june!!
Me:
See you later, Alex :)
Alex 🩵:
oh btw
June frowns.
What now?
Alex 🩵:
i really like ur bracelet
you should wear it later :)
June’s heart leaps in her throat, barely daring to believe what this might mean.
Me:
Really? I’d love to wear it!
Alex 🩵:
pls do!!
maybe i can try it on? id like to see how it looks on me
if thats ok with u!!
Me:
It is
Very okay
I’m sure it’s going to look great on you
Alex 🩵:
aww :) i hope so!!
maybe we can even get matching ones!!
i mean only if youd like it ofc
Me:
I’d love that!
Really
I can show you the place I got it from, if you want
Alex 🩵:
oh!!! yes!! lets go there later??
after icecream?
if u feel like it
otherwise i mean we can just go back to mine and hang out yknow
or go to the park cause i remember u said u wanted to stay outside today
or to the mall if u wanna go shopping cause i know we didnt do it last weekend
or
Me:
That sounds great
The bracelet and ice cream, I mean
Let’s do that!
Alex 🩵:
ok yes!!!
cool!!! 💃💃💃💃
Me:
Cool!
Alex 🩵:
ill be there at 3?? :)
Me:
Perfect! See you later, Alex :)
Alex 🩵:
see u later june :)) 🫶