Chapter Text
“Of course you complain about taking humanities classes.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Nathan asked offended and looked up from where he sat on the floor next to you.
"You'd build HAL 9000 just because you can; fuck the consequences."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Nathan grinned at you like the arrogant brat he is. You groaned and rolled your eyes. You're disappointed in yourself for being even a little surprised that he didn't take this seriously.
"You can't just-," you stopped yourself from ranting at him. That fucker would just enjoy seeing you get agitated. Why were you friends with him again? Ah yes. Because you two were the youngest students here. And Nathan was actually good company, when he didn't drive you insane.
"So you don't want to help me work on my startup?"
"I didn't say that. Of course I'll help. I promised you, didn't I?" you answered exasperated and poked his forehead.
Nathan scrunched up his nose in displeasure, swatting at your hand. "Then you can take the humanities classes for me. Especially the ones next week."
You raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Nathan held your gaze but his arrogant grin didn't reaching his eyes. You upheld your staring contest for a while before it dawned on you. Quickly you leaned towards him and took a deep breath through your nose, taking in his scent of sandalwood and lime.
It's just as you thought. But-
"I thought you took suppressants?"
Nathan groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Unless Big Pharma manages to make suppressants without bullshit life threatening side effects I can't take them 24/7, you know?"
"To be honest, I thought you'd be making your own suppressants by now," you teased, "Mister Genius."
Nathan gave you a deadpan look.
"Sure, because computer science, engineering and robotics have so much to do with human biology and pharmaceuticals."
You fell back onto your bed with a groan. "OK, I'll take notes for you," you replied. At least he was skipping classes for health reasons. Small mercies. "You need me to get you anything? Stock up on snacks and sports drinks?"
Nathan rested his head against the side of your bed, eyes closed. "Sure, get me some dildos too. Didn't think to smuggle any into the dorms," he mumbled.
"Of course, Mr. Bateman. How about I get you some Alphas for hire too? Are you feeling blonde, brunette or ginger today?" you asked, exaggerating your impression of a secretary from a Hollywood movie.
He turned his head towards you, meeting your gaze through his eyelashes. "That's actually not a bad idea," he admitted, his pupils widening, "Are you free next week?"
You blinked, not sure if you're supposed to take him seriously. "Even if this was a genuine proposition, how am I supposed to take notes for you when I am helping you with your heat?"
Nathan waved off your concerns. "I'll just have somebody else take notes or ask the professor for the material. She seems like the type to help with stuff like that when it's a health thing," he replied, dismissing your argument.
So he didn't even need you to take notes in the first place. That fucker.
"Wait," you pointed a finger at him, "Do you want me to help you with your heat?"
"I mean, you're hot, I'm hot. Why shouldn't we do this?"
He looked at you like you were insane for questioning him. You felt more insane for actually thinking about this. You were friends yes and casual sex is fine and good in theory. You weren't opposed but helping him through his heat? That felt more intimate than just adding benefits to your friendship.
"Have you been thinking about this before?“ you asked instead of answering his question. Nathan seemed to mull your question over for a while. You weren't sure if it was for show or if he actually took his time to collect his thoughts. After a while he simply shrugged his shoulders and made a noncommittal sound.
You're sure your eyes were bulging out of your head. You asked if he thought about having sex with you before and he just shrugged?! That arrogant little-
"As I said," he started, clearing his throat, "You're hot. Can't blame a guy for having thoughts."
"Nathan-"
"And it's just sex and I'm on contraception."
He was serious. Or at least seriously considering. His tone was aloof as always but there was something there. Maybe it's because you were one of the few people he trusted. Maybe it really was just that he found you attractive and more tolerable than the average Alpha. And more fun than spending his time alone with toys that he apparently didn't even have in his dorm.
"What about bonding? Aren't you worried about that?“
Nathan just rolled his eyes as if the subject of bonds was beneath him. He probably thought it was.
"So no biting then? Got it," you replied in a teasing tone, worried you might make this conversation more awkward otherwise.
His lips curved into a smirk, a glint in his eyes as he made eye contact with you again. "I didn't say no biting at all. I mean the chance we bond is pretty low regardless…," he trailed off, clearing his throat again and turning away from you. He wasn't wrong. An actual Mating bond was done with intent and accidental bonding was so rare the percentage rounded up to zero.
"If you're sure."
Nathan just nodded and you had a deal.
You were in charge of bringing drinks and snacks and as soon as his heat hit you'd take care of him. Nathan talked a big game when it came to sex but you were sure he was nothing you couldn't handle.
Nathan in heat was insatiable.
You're not sure if it was just the build up from so much time spent on suppressants or if this was just purely Nathan.
At first he was ridiculously clingy. Every step you took away from him he was whining like a little boy who got his toy taken away from him. There was always at least one of his hands on you at all times.
You knew his heat had fully hit when his touches grew greedier. Fingers slipping under clothes, his nose digging into the crook of your neck and then:
"Alpha," he whined, "Fuck me, please."
And you obliged. How could you not?
When you finally pushed inside until you filled him to the brim he got this big toothy grin on his face, glee and satisfaction burning through his body. You've never seen a look like that on his face before and it made your stomach flip before pushing that feeling deep down into the depths of your mind.
At the height of his heat the genius' vocabulary was reduced to three words: Harder, Faster and More.
You didn't remember much of it. Maybe it was hormones or by now just the simple passage of time. When you look back on those days there are flashes of memories: the feeling of skin against skin, the scent of his heat, his wrecked voice pleading for more and the feeling of his flesh between your teeth and your flesh between his.
You didn't remember the great flood of emotions or the deep feeling of connection that text books described following a bonding Bite. And from what you gathered after neither did Nathan.
And yet.
The day after his heat ended you could feel him. In your mind. When he got frustrated, when he stayed up for multiple days straight, when he got sick from the sushi he ate way past its expiration date - you felt him like a prickle at the back of your head.
"We're bonded," you exclaimed as you barged into his dorm room. Nathan looked at you bleary-eyed, his hangover not only visible but also felt by you since you woke up that morning.
"Well, fuck," he mumbled and pushed his head back into his pillow as if he hadn't noticed any changes since his heat.
You waited.
Nothing.
"That's it? We are bondmates and all you got is 'well fuck'?"
He barely lifted his head to glower at you with one eye. "It's just biology. It's bullshit," he grumbled, "Just chill and let me fucking sleep."
"You're unbelievable," you responded with a groan and left his dorm room again, slamming the door behind you for good measure.
You're bonded to Nathan fucking Bateman of all people.
And he didn't give a damn.
Having Nathan's moods in the back of your head was infuriating at worst, annoying at best. Thankfully with time and distance his hangovers and overall grumpy demeanor became less and less noticeable, like a fading headache.
So you decided to ignore the situation. Nathan seemed to take that approach so why shouldn't you. You hadn't thought much about romance, dating or even family planning so that was left for future you to deal with.
Not like that was going to happen with Nathan anytime soon. Not in this reality.
Ignoring the bond became a bit more difficult every time Nathan and you met. You were still friends, at least you thought so, and you had promised him to help with his start up between cramming for classes. After every encounter the connection between you flared back up again like a nasty migraine.
"Would it kill you to drink less? Your hangovers suck ass," you grumbled over your takeout. Nathan shrugged his shoulders, his mouth full of spring rolls. You sighed in annoyance, pinching the bridge of your nose.
"So, BlueBook…"
Nathan swallowed down his food hastily, nodding.
"Why that name? Because you like blue and want to make a new Facebook?"
He grimaced and gave you the stink eye. "Don't even put that dipshit Zuckerberg on my level. Fucking hack," he spat out and crossed his arms like an angry toddler.
You raised your hands in defense. "Alright, alright. I won't mention it again," you replied, slightly annoyed by the spike of irritation at the back of your mind that wasn't yours.
"It's a search engine," he corrected you, "Or it will be. The best one. Better than all the shit that's online now." He turns quiet for a moment. "That's only the start. I do have even bigger plans, you know?" he mutters.
You nodded solemnly, very careful not to get him going again just to spare yourself from another headache. Instead of talking you returned your focus back on your food. The silence quickly turned awkward however.
But you weren't the first to break it.
"I'm thinking about dropping out. Focus on BlueBook full-time."
You nearly choked on your fried noodles. "What do you mean? What about your degree?"
Nathan sighed, clearly irritated by your questions. He gave you a deadpan stare before continuing. "You know I am only getting a degree so those idiots take me seriously. I can be as smart as they come but just because I'm an Omega they'll try everything to get my shit and boot me out of everything I built."
You gritted your teeth. He wasn't wrong. Society was still a far cry from treating all genders, primary or secondary, equally. Of course under the law everyone was equal but in the history of mankind that had never stopped people from discrimination or just being plain old assholes.
"So why not get the degree? Why not play it safe?"
You felt his anger before you saw his mouth turn into scowl. "Because I shouldn't have to!" he growled.
He shouldn't have to. You knew that but that didn't change the situation. There was no doubt in you that if anybody, Omega or not, could do what he planned to do, it would be Nathan. But you didn't want him to have to fight his way through all this bullshit. At least not alone.
"Alright. Let's say you drop out. Would having an Alpha with a degree as your partner help?" You looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on your lips, trying to lighten the mood. He looked at you, eyes blinking in astonishment.
"So you can kick annoying Alphas in the ass while I get to focus on my work?"
"Figuratively speaking yes."
A wide grin spread across his lips, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Deal."
He didn't drop out or at least you didn't talk about it again after that. Nathan was on his way to be an Omega Boss Bitch, degree or no degree.
He would be achieving his goal faster if he didn't keep partying all the time. You were simply worried about his career. It didn't phase you at all that he kept walking around stinking of other Alphas. That he spent most of his time with anybody but you. Having fun with people that weren't you. You weren't jealous or anything. Not at all. Not one bit.
It didn't phase you.
But it drove you fucking insane.
You knew Nathan didn't take your bond seriously. "Fuck Biology" and all that. But before Nathan would rarely seek out Alphas to even casually talk to. And suddenly now that he was bonded he couldn't jump from knot to knot quickly enough?
It felt targeted. A big neon sign spelling out how little you meant to him on a biological level.
You're not special. I can get this from any person off the street. This doesn't mean anything.
And it hurt more than you were able to put into words. Like some unseen force squeezing your lungs and punching you in the gut at the same time. Over and over and over again.
Nathan Bateman would be the death of you. Maybe a clean cut would be better.
You realized that when Nathan crashed your hangout with your friends that weren't accidentally bonded to you.
You had felt antsy all day, the bond acting up again in new and exciting ways. Nathan's heat was close but given how he never asked you to help him through his time again you didn't offer either. Dealing with Nathan could be a headache on a good day. Better to avoid it when possible. So chatting and having drinks with other friends who weren't Nathan was exactly what you needed.
One second you were chatting passionately about the latest movie you watched and the next you had a very handsy, very drunk Nathan plastered to your side.
"Nathan? What the fuck?" you mumbled, confused why he was here all of a sudden, trying to bury his face into the crook of your neck.
"Fuck, you smell so good," he groaned, either completely ignoring you or unaware that you said something. He reeked. Not only of sweat and alcohol but pheromones too. And not just the sickly cloying scent of Nathan's heat, but Alpha pheromones. Your stomach twisted into knots, something between betrayal and disgust clawing at your insides, as you made out the scents of multiple different Alphas clinging to him. A sudden flash of nausea made you grimace, unable to hide your reaction. Without looking you felt the confused and pitying looks of your friends. You quickly apologized to them, promising to make up for cutting your evening short, before dragging Nathan out of the booth.
He followed easily enough even though he stumbled over his own feet multiple times because he refused to let go of you even for a moment. Every few steps he rubbed himself on you like a cat begging for pets. Your anger and nausea was only slightly soothed by the knowledge that this way he would once again smell more like you.
"What the hell were you thinking?" you hissed, dragging Nathan back to his dorm room, "Or were you thinking at all?" Having an Omega in heat, your Omega in heat, pressed against you so closely, did not make it easy to keep a clear head. You were furious at him for suddenly showing up like this after ignoring you and your bond for months after your first (and last) time together. But your anger clashed with the intense arousal boiling up inside you, every whiff of his heat adding fuel to the fire.
"Need you," Nathan mumbled as you not so gently pushed him onto his bed and his ass hit the mattress. He tipped forward, his forehead resting against your stomach. "Those idiots can't fuck for shit. Felt bad."
"What, they couldn't find your prostate?“ you replied sardonically, rolling your eyes.
"Made me feel sick. Wrong," he slurred and you felt a pang of guilt adding to the irritating mix of emotions. Not because you did something wrong but because Nathan's stubbornness didn't hurt only you but himself as well. Of course Nathan would try to ignore your bond and hop on the next available Alpha's knot just to prove he was above his biology. As if your bond was some negligible quirk of nature he could ignore. He'd rather get sick to his stomach instead of spending time with you or even dissolve the bond. Nathan was incredibly stupid for a genius, you had always known that. It shouldn't hurt so much that for all his intelligence he didn't think about your feelings even once.
You felt his face rub against your crotch, your increasingly swelling cock throbbing in response to finally getting the attention you were denied. With every touch more and more blood rushed to your length. With a gasp you pull his face away from you. "No! Bad Omega!"
Nathan looked at you with wide eyes, shiny with gathering tears. The sight opened a pit in your stomach and you felt sick again. Denying your Omega felt so wrong but you couldn't let this game of hot and cold continue. "Please, Alpha. I'll be good. I'll suck your cock so good, promise," he whimpered, his mouth falling open in demonstration, forming a perfect O.
You cursed under your breath. "Nathan, you can't just…you're drunk! I am not going to fuck your face when you're drunk!"
Nathan moaned, only hearing the part he wanted to hear, "Please fuck my face." He tried to push his face back into your crotch but you stopped him. This wasn't going to work. You couldn't handle Nathan ignoring you until he got drunk during his heat and remembered that he conveniently had a bonded Alpha to fuck him like he wanted. It was too much. You couldn't be his friend with benefits. That was clear to you now. Maybe you couldn't even be his friend anymore.
"You know what? I can't do this," you sighed in defeat. Even through the heat Nathan seemed to understand the gravity of your words. He looked so lost and helpless. That look in his eyes burned itself into your mind. You did your best to remain calm despite your raging erection and put Nathan to bed, placing a few bottles of water and energy bars on his nightstand where he could reach them. Then you left, feeling his gaze on you. Faintly you heard your name being called or maybe it was just "Alpha" but either might have simply been your imagination.
It hurt. More than you had thought it would. Sleep escaped you and you felt miserable, guilt gnawing at you relentlessly. His helpless expression haunted your dreams.
You didn't see Nathan on campus anymore after that night. After a while, once your anger had passed, you went to his dorm room to apologize and reconcile, to try and explain how you felt and to maybe actually have a conversation about what your shared bond meant to you. But you were swiftly informed that Nathan had dropped out.
Ignoring the bond got easier then even if sleeping didn't. You never thought about breaking the bond, a small part of you cherishing it like a secret treasure. Something your very own even if your feelings were not reciprocated. Breaking the bond felt just as wrong as keeping it in place. But you got used to the aching feeling like a phantom limb.
It hurt a little when you saw his face again years later. Not in person but on your phone screen: The founder of BlueBook, genius and elusive hermit Nathan Bateman. But you were glad, so very glad he did what he had set out to do even though you weren't there with him like you had both imagined. Every time you saw him on the news you thought of that one night. Every touch, every word. You replayed the memories in your head countless times thinking of all the ways it could have ended differently.
That night was the last time you had talked to Nathan.
Until now.