Chapter Text
This broadcast is going live a little late, Miss Tuesday has been locked out of the publication and she is currently trying her hardest to not panic too hard and work out which other Rogue that Edward hasn’t irritated the hell out of to come help him.
A muffled and strained growling noise is the first sound that occurs after the natural hum of the broadcast going live, though two pairs of shoes can be heard pacing around the room. Which is odd, Edward was not supposed to have a guest on today, and he normally advertises if there’s a last minute member to join him.
Even as the talking starts it’s clear at least one of the people is still walking around
??: Can I please just shut him up?
??: Oh hush, Mister Zsasz, he’s kindly donated his radio show to us for this, so we should have some thanks in our hearts.
The man, presumably the speaker can now be heard kicking, making contact and a low, still muffled groan of pain.
Victor Zsasz: (Chuckily) How about after, Roman?
Roman Sionis: Patience is a virtue you really do not contain. That is fine though, we are not to harm the Riddler, at least not today, you’re pleased about that, aren’t you?
There’s the sound of duct tape being pulled off hard.
Edward Nygma: Fuckin’ hell. You do not just turn up and steal some other man’s career, if you really want my listeners to hear whatever it is that you want to spout to them, you could have just asked for an interview. This, all of this including the fact I am still tied to a chair for crying out loud, means you are both going to be banned for all future episodes.
Roman Sionis: Now think about my feelings right now, that’s mighty rude of you Riddler…
Victor Zsasz: And you’re so easily still in stabbing distance.
Roman Sionis: Enough, Zsasz. Now tell me the truth, if I had asked to join you on your ridiculous little Radio show, would you have said yes?
Edward Nygma: You are still insulting me and my show!
Victor Zsasz: That’s not answering Roman’s question.
Edward Nygma: (Sighing angrily) Okay fine, I probably wouldn’t have said yes and if I did it would have been with many caveats including not being completely live and in one of the other Crime Lord’s territory for my own safety.
Don’t you dare cut this suit! It is worth far more than your useless life.
Roman Sionis: (Tutting) Now now, you really aren’t helping yourself Mr Nygma. You are wounding my heart, a personal attack and you’re not even someone I’ve had to deal with, that would give you an excuse to dislike me. Don’t tell me the Riddler subscribes to untoward rumours.
Edward Nygma: They’re not untoward when they’re blatantly real, Roman. Everything you’ve done, the sort of people you hire.
Victor Zsasz: (Whining) Roman I don’t like how he’s looking at me when he said that. He’s being meannnnn. Are you sure I can’t just, a little warning cut, add another scar to that stupidly pretty face of his.
Roman Sionis: (Humming) Maybe another time, Victor, I promise. Now we should probably actually let me share what I wanted to these listeners, insults aside. Plus they’re not all real, Mr Nygma, I have no problem with fags unlike your lots general assumption.
There’s the sound of Edward’s jaw dropping open, stammering before it slams closed again, there’s a soft material rustling and a chuckle from Victor, almost a cooing noise.
Roman Sionis: What was I even meant to be here saying, ugh you’ve distracted me and that is upsetting. I don’t think I want to play anymore.
Edward Nygma: (Nervously) And what does you not playing entail?
Roman Sionis: Oh don’t worry your pretty face, come Victor, we’ve got better things to be doing before my meetings, leave Mr Nygma like that, he can get himself out of it.
Victor Zsasz: Yes boss, I certainly like the sound of that.
I’ll be back to add your pretty little face to my collection one of these days, Nygma.
Roman Sionis: (Voice fainter, clear he’s crossed the room, away from the microphone) Come on Victor, you can fantasise about it with me later.
Victor Zsasz: (Sighing) Fine, I like to keep my promises though Riddler, so remember that, I’ll be back to see you, don’t you forget that.
Edward Nygma: Nope, won’t, it’s definitely been logged in my brain thank you so much for that. Are you sure you won’t untie me, just a tad?
The only response he gets is footsteps continuing to echo away, some muffled discussions between the pair of them, between Victor and Roman.
There’s then rustling, as Edward strains against his binds.
Edward Nygma: Oh dear, I do appear to be in one hell of a sticky situation. Miss Tuesday, my darling, if you’re still at least able to listen could you get someone to my location because I do not want to spend my entire evening tied to this chair, I fear the tape may have already ruined my suit and I don’t want them changing their minds and coming back.
…
Oh Gotham I’m stuck live until someone comes and rescues me, and while normally I’d love to run my mouth to you Gotham but you must understand, I both wasn’t quite ready to be live and my gatecrashers have ruined my train of thought. What a wonderful last day of pride month to me.
(Said very faintly) I also really need to pee.
The rest of the stream limps on sadly for a good hour, most of which has been redacted here because the Riddler was embarrassed and he doesn’t like to be embarrassed.
Edward Nygma: Oh thank Gotham, I’ve never been so happy to see your face, Cat.
Selina Kyle: Hush you, it should be Miss Tuesday you’re thanking, now let me get you untied because this is embarrassing for both of us.
Edward Nygma: It would be less embarrassing if you cut my radio feed please.
Selina Kyle: Just because you look like a little kitten who might cry if I don’t.
Good night Gotham, rest assured your Riddler is back in safe hands.