Chapter Text
Ben taps a finger on the doorframe, and peers inside.
‘I still say it’s too small,’ Klaus whines. Again.
‘You said that about every one we looked at,’ Ben says idly, closing the door.
‘And I was right every time! They’re all too small!’
‘I think Allison’s closet would still be too small for you,’ Ben says, rolling their eyes.
‘...That’s not guaranteed,’ Klaus says.
‘Uh huh,’ Ben says. He walks out of the room and down the hall, trailing a hand along the wallpaper. The hall is pretty short, so he stops in the kitchen after a dozen feet. That, too, is fairly small.
But it’s theirs, and that makes all the difference.
Ben finds himself grinning, smile stretching across their face. ‘Klaus,’ he can’t help but say, ‘We have a home.’
‘Goodness me, really?’ Klaus says. ‘Well, I’m glad we don’t have to worry about some stranger coming in here and calling the cops.’
Ben, however, can hear the undercurrent of disbelief that’s present in Klaus’ voice. He grins again, and retreats back into their head, handing off control to Klaus, who blinks at the afternoon light coming in through the window.
Klaus breathes in deeply, and Ben can taste the air just as well as he can, the smell of furniture polish and paint pervading their senses. They weren’t the ones who brought those things, all their savings so far having gone into their deposit, but the moment Andrea and Klara heard about the new apartment they were entirely eager to donate what they could. Thanks to them, the bedroom is now a cheery shade of yellow, and the battered old dining table actually looks a smidge respectable.
Most of the furniture is from garage sales, along with their dishes and some of their clothes (although Ben did put their foot down about new sheets). They have a fridge now, and a few cupboards functioning as a pantry, and both Klaus and Ben keep opening both and staring at all the food. It’s - well, they’ve seen more food in one place, but they’ve never owned it.
Klaus shuts the cupboard and hugs himself. He’s grinning, irrepressibly.
‘We have a home,’ he tells Ben.
‘Told you we could do it,’ Ben says.
‘Oh, don’t pretend, you thought we would crash and burn,’ Klaus says airily, twirling around and padding back down the hall. He’s still grinning, and he trails their hand along the wall, the cuff that covers their scarred tattoo snug against their wrist. The wall is not the smoothest, because the place is in fact dirt-cheap and that has a corresponding quality, but Ben doesn’t even care. It’s the first place he can call home in almost nine years - if he’s being honest, the first place he can call home, period.
‘I didn’t!’ Ben protests. ‘....Not entirely, anyways.’
‘Sure,’ Klaus says knowingly. ‘Of course.’
‘Whatever,’ Ben says, sending the mental equivalent of rolling their eyes.
Klaus laughs that laugh he does whenever he thinks he’s won an argument. Ben decides to let him have this one, because as far as he’s concerned nothing can ruin today.
“Oh!” Klaus gasps. ‘Oh, Ben, Ben, I have an idea! Let’s have a birthday party!’
‘- Our birthday isn’t for another month,’ Ben says, caught off-guard.
Klaus whines, the sound sharp in their ears. ‘But Ben! Let’s have it early! It can be a housewarming party and a birthday party all in one! We can have a double party, Ben.’
‘Who would we even invite?’ Ben asks. He resigns himself to the fact that, come hell or high water, they’re going to have a party. Klaus is way too excited to drop it.
‘Andrea and Klara, duh.’
‘Just them?’
‘Well, we’re not inviting anyone we know from the streets. They’d steal everything that isn’t nailed down and a few things that are,’ Klaus says, matter-of-factly. ‘Also they would have drugs.’
‘Right, yeah, no one from the streets,’ Ben says. He doesn’t even want to know who Klaus would invite. They aren’t exactly on good terms with anyone. ‘But - no one else?’
‘Who else is there?’ Klaus asks, confused.
Ben waits.
‘...oh,’ Klaus says.
‘It might be nice to see them again,’ Ben offers neutrally.
Klaus makes a face. Ben can’t tell exactly what the face is, from this end, but he can guess well enough.
‘I don’t think Allison would come,’ Klaus says. ‘And I know Luther wouldn’t. Can you imagine the commute?’
Right. Luther went up to the moon a couple months ago. It was in the papers - Spaceboy, actually going into space. Apparently he’s going to gather data and do other science stuff.
It sounds horribly, crushingly lonely. Ben doesn’t like to think about it.
‘I know,’ Ben says. ‘But we do have other siblings. They’re even in town.’
‘We don’t know that,’ Klaus says. ‘Maybe Diego became a marine biologist and is currently exploring the ocean floor while his colleagues pat each other on the back for hiring the guy who doesn’t need to breathe. Maybe Vanya went on a spiritual journey to Russia to discover her roots and is giving concerts to sold out theaters in Moscow. Maybe they met at the grocery store one day, made up, decided society is bullshit, and embarked on a crime spree across America. Maybe -’
‘I don’t think any of those are likely,’ Ben interrupts, because Klaus doesn’t look to be slowing down anytime soon.
‘But they’re not impossible,’ Klaus declares triumphantly.
Ben pushes forward the sensation of rolling their eyes.
Klaus actually rolls their eyes. ‘Come oonn, Ben,’ he whines. ‘I don’t want to.’
‘You’re sober now,’ Ben says carefully. He doesn’t want to push, but - god, he’s so proud of Klaus. It’s been such a struggle, but he made it - they made it. ‘You have a job, and an apartment, and a life. I just - think it would be pretty cool to show them that.’
Klaus sits down in an overstuffed chair. He pulls their legs up to their chest, and worries at the edge of their thumb. He stays quiet for a few minutes.
‘....I don’t - want to,’ Klaus says, uncertainly. Like he’s not sure if Ben will let him disagree.
Ben would swallow if he had control of their throat. Damn. He didn’t mean to make Klaus afraid of disagreeing. It happens, sometimes, and Ben has seen it many a time, but Klaus has never been afraid to disagree with him before. They’re trying to navigate around a lot of instinctive reactions Klaus has to possession and anyone having power over him, and they are doing pretty well at it, but there are times….
‘Alright,’ Ben says. ‘We don’t have to invite them.’
Ben feels their shoulders untense. ‘Okay,’ Klaus says.
‘Sorry,’ Ben can’t help but add.
‘It’s alright,’ Klaus says. He stops biting at their thumb. ‘It’s just….it’s not about them - well, some of it is, I guess. I don’t think they’d be very impressed with me achieving the minimum standards for personhood. But also - I’m possessed. I know it’s you, and you won’t hurt them, but I’m - I spent years making sure I wouldn’t be possessed around them. I think I would probably panic if you took control and they were there.’
‘....I see,’ Ben says, filing away the minimum standards for personhood comment to discuss later. One thing at a time. ‘Yeah, that makes sense….Do you think you’ll ever be okay around them?’
Klaus shrugs slightly, staring blankly at the wall. ‘Dunno. Maybe. This is still pretty new, I’m not entirely used to it yet. Maybe in a few years or so I’ll be totally okay with the idea. Maybe I won’t. Can’t really say.’
‘Well,’ Ben sighs. ‘That’s fair, I guess.’
Klaus bites their lip. Ben gets the feeling he’s holding back from saying something.
‘Spit it out,’ Ben says wearily.
A few more seconds of hesitation. Then, ‘....They wouldn’t believe you’re here, Ben.’
A small jolt races through Ben’s mind. ‘What?’
‘They wouldn’t believe us,’ Klaus says. ‘If we told them, they would never believe us. But you still want to, don’t you?’
Ben finds that he cannot reply. That would be a lot more defensible if he were in control of their throat, but for some reason he can’t reply even in purely mental form.
‘Sorry,’ Klaus says, after a minute. ‘Shouldn’t have brought it up.’
‘No,’ Ben says, finally finding his voice. ‘No, it’s - alright. They’d never believe I was possessing you, that I’m - here. I know that.’
‘It’s okay to wish otherwise, though,’ Klaus says.
‘Yeah,’ Ben says. ‘Yeah, I know.’
Klaus retreats back into their skull, swinging Ben into the front. It’s weird and - a little disturbing that he can do that. No matter how hard he tries, Klaus can’t take control unless Ben lets him, but he can shove Ben into the driver’s seat whether Ben wants to or not. And, of course, Ben can easily take over whenever he tries, regardless of how Klaus feels about it. Klaus explained, very matter-of-factly, that it’s only when a ghost is distracted that he can snatch away a few muscles to hurt himself, and even then the ghost can reassert control with a thought if the pain doesn’t shock them out of him at once.
Ben has a much better understanding of why Klaus stopped thinking his body belongs to him, now.
But that’s okay. Because even if he can’t think of it as his body, maybe he can start to think of it as their body. A compromise. Ben hasn’t mentioned that he’s started thinking of it like that, because he’s still not sure he’s ready to open up the can of worms that is Klaus’ body issues. Not yet, when they only have a few months sharing it together, when they’re still not entirely alright with everything that’s happened.
But someday. Someday.
Ben breathes, and feels their lungs expand and contract. He decided a while ago that, on balance, he does like breathing. The steady rhythm is soothing, and reminds him of the meditation techniques he tried when he was younger, searching desperately for a way to hold back the Horror.
Speaking of the Horror, it pokes at his stomach. Ben shifts and bats it down. He’s decided that it does feel curiosity, because he just can’t think of any other way to characterize its reactions to the way the portal blinks in and out of existence at random, from its point of view. It hasn’t been aggressive, just cautiously probing.
Even so, Ben is not letting it out. It’s the only thing he can think of that would, actually, convince their siblings that Ben is here, but the mere idea of letting out the Horror near his siblings is almost enough to give Ben a panic attack. It’s just flat-out not happening.
‘So,’ Ben says, reaching forward and picking up a book from the coffee table. ‘Sign language, huh?’
‘Might be fun,’ Klaus sends a shrug. ‘And don’t forget the knitting one, either.’
Ben nods and hums, and flips through the sign language dictionary. They decided that they need a hobby or two, in order to ignore the cravings that still tug on their body. Doing something with their hands just made sense, so they’ve amassed a few shelves of secondhand books on topics that range from baking to painting to wood-carving. And now sign language and knitting. Now that they have an actual home, secure and stable and semi-spacious, they plan to explore the possibilities.
‘I think I’ll like knitting,’ Klaus says brightly.
‘I think you will,’ Ben says, nodding. He peers at the drawing of a hand, and mimics it, following the swooping arrows that denote movement.
‘Maybe I’ll make Klara and Andrea something. To thank them for their help with the apartment. Think they’d like that?’
‘I think they would,’ Ben says. ‘Are you going to do that and the party?’
‘Duh. Oh, and speaking of the party, we need to plan that! I was thinking Saturday night, and we could try making that soup in that cookbook, you know, the one with the noodles? That looked good. And we can get party games! Well, probably one game and a pack of cards, because we’re still poor as fuck. But still, it’s going to be so much fun. Do you think it would be too much to buy a new skirt for the occasion?’
‘If we cut out the one party game and settle for the pack of cards, I think we can manage,’ Ben says. He can’t say it isn’t a little weird when Klaus wants to wear skirts, but he’s learned to adjust to the feeling. ‘Banning skirts’ is only slightly below ‘take over without permission’ on Ben’s List Of Things He Will Absolutely Not Do, because Klaus is just so happy when they wear them. Ben can learn to like the skirts.
‘Well, sacrifices must be made for fashion,’ Klaus decides. ‘I’m sure we can entertain ourselves with cards alone. We’ll have a fantastic poker face, we can just switch every minute or so and confuse them until they don’t know what we’ll do next.’
‘Great,’ Ben says, signing the word at the same time. Great. ‘Sounds fun.’
‘It will be! So much fun!’ Klaus cheers.
Ben smiles, and keeps paging through the dictionary as Klaus chatters on. He stops at one page, and traces a finger over a word, looking at the illustration.
Home, he mouths to himself. He mimics the drawing, watching their hand make the word in the air.
Home.
We’re home.